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The Huron Expositor, 1986-04-23, Page 2w Huron grAxpositor SINCE 1860, SERVING THE COMMUNITY FIRST BLUE RIBBON AWARD 1985 rael'WINN, t, • 01 AN COMMIr. ch (DIA PAM Mat Incorporating Bruesets Post 10 Main Street 527-0240 Published in SEAFORTH, ONTARIO Every Wednesday morning ED BYRSKI, General Manager HEATHER McILWRAITH, Editor The Expositor Is brought to you each week by the efforts of: Pat Armes, Bessie -Broome, Marlene Charters, Joan Gulehelaar, Anne Hutt, Joanne Jewitt, Stephanie Levesque, Dianne McGrath, Lois McElwain, Bob McMillan, Cathy Malady and Patrick Rattle, Member Canadian Community Newspaper Assoc. Ontario Community Newspaper Association Ontario Press Council Pr Commonwealth Press Union International Press institute Subscription rates: Canada $20.00 a year, In advance Outside Canada $60.00 a year, in advance Single Copies - 50 cents each SEAFORTH, ONTARIO, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 23, 1986 Second class mall registration Number 0698 Tire true champs The 1985-86 edition of the Seaforth Centenalres will be talked about for years to come, both here in Seaforth and all along the Junior D hockey circuit. As they steamrolled opponents with their disciplined, but exciting brand of hockey the team picked up many admirers on their way to their first OHA championship. Congratulations are due all around. To the players, for their dedicated play and team spirit. To the coaching staff and trainers for their inspiration and leadership and of course, to the fans for their loyal support. But perhaps the largest kudos should go to the far-sighted management of the team, for their decision to create a team with an extremely high degree of local content. By avoiding the unfortunate tendency of so many small-town Junior operations toward use of Imported players, the Centenalre organization made this championship all the more meaningful to players and fans alike. The existance of a locally -stocked Junior team In town can only be a boost to the minor hockey system, giving budding players a home -town example of hockey excellence to shoot for. To realize how much this kind of example can mean, one need only ponder the overheard conversation between two local youngsters immediately following the final Centenalre victory. "Hey, guess what? Jerry Wright promised to give me his stick," said the first. "Wow, how lucky can you get,?" replied his friend. This kind of adulation, usually reserved for the Wayne Gretzkys of the world, casts valuable insight Into the Importance of the strong local sports program,. In building youthful character. Producing,a championship..team every year isn't necessary. Producing championship qualities in youngsters Is what sports Is all about. —P.R. OPINION TO THE EDITOR Original choir members sought for reunion The Centennial Committee of Main Street United Church in Mitchell is holding a Flower " and Bird Sunday reunion on June 8 at 2:30 p.m i would like to contact any former members who sang in these choirs from 1929-1974. If you, a fa oily member or friend were in these choirs, please leave your name and complete address with: MargeretGloer, 102 Blnnshard St., Mitchell, Ont. NOK INO. Any responses would be appredated by April 30 or early May If possible. These names are required so invitations can be forwarded for this reunion. Sincerely Margaret Gloor Mitchell Arthur Township has homecoming Attention: All fernier residents of Arthur Township, Wellington County In order to obtain your copy of the First Edition of the History of Arthur Township, plan now to attend the Homecoming Celebrations to be held at Kenflfaorth on Civic Holiday weekend, August 2-4, 1988. Thank you for your valuable space. In this FINAL TRIBUTE — •Wearing black armbands, members of the silence was observed prior to the final game of the Seaforth-Delhi Seatorth Centenalres paid a final tribute to Centenalre organizer series April 15, at the local arena, From left: John Dale, Gerrard Gary Gray, who died April 13. In honor of Mr. Gray, a moment of Ryan, Jim Campbell, Dave Murray and Bill Dale. Rattle photo way we hope to reach many forrne.r residents of Arthur Township ,who might otherwise not sed receive an invitation to the many p events of this forthcoming Arthur Town ship History Book Committee, Kenilworth, Ontario NOG2F1 [FROM THIS ANGLE by Patrick R€ tis Shopping mail blues Had to go shopping the other day—some- formed a veritable sea of mauves, pinks and thing 1 don't mudi enj y. assorted pastel shades, I asked Peggy if she Usually 1 confine my purchasing exam- wouldn't mind if we checked out the men's sions to the Christmas season and a few wear department selected occasions inbetween. However, on "This is the men's department," she this occasion I had no choice. replied. "I know what you mean though. Upon taking inventory of my spring and Most of the clothes hero are prettier than the summer wardrobe, 1 discovered it consisted ladies' stuff," she added. of two golf shirts and a threadbare pair of Ihadtodisagreewith heron that point, ash cutoffs. With such a minimal assortment of would hardly consider a man in a pink tank garments, one can hardly expel to spend the top and multi -colored shorts to be a pretty summer hobnobbing with the likes of Rene sight. Cardin and Calvin Klein, I decided. Normally I prefer shopping alone for the simple reason it can be accomplished quickly and painlessly when done solo, but since misery loves company I decided to ask my girlfriend to ,join me. She fainted. Upon recovering, she proceeded to ques- tion my motives for a) this undiaraeteristic interest in shopping and b) wanting her to go with me. Peggy's reluctance . to believe i was not trying to involve her in some bizarre plot to blowup a shopping mall was tmderstandable. On numerous occasions I have complained to her about the time-consuming shopping habits of the female of the speaes. While most of the women I have /mown have a tendencytoexarnine most of the items Studying the lingerie displays would in any given store before making a purchase, probably earn me looks of scorn from the (please forgive the generalization ladies) my myriad women in the store. Studying the browsing is usually much more limited. myriad women in the store would undoubted My own conversations with sales clerks 1y earn me at least a look of scorn, should tend to resemble a quarterback calling a Peggy catch me in this pursuit. football play. Fortunately, I was not long left alone with Shirt--blue--medium, on three, Hut, Hut, this connundnun, as my companion reap. Hut." He rings it up, youpay the man peered from the c iangetoom modelling a and...."YE'R OUT OF THER I" white patterned dress for my opinion. Upon arriving at the mall, T discovered it "I love it," I said. would not be so easy this time. After "Ithinkrlltaketheblueone,"shereplied. wandering for a time among clothes which "Why am I here?" !thought. "You're going to have a hard time finding any clothes you would wear," Peggy informed me. "They don't make them anymore," she said, in response to my quizzical gaze. In spite of her pessimism, t did manage to find a few items that neither Pr'inoe, nor Michael Jackson would be caught dead in, thus making them acceptable to me. My own shopping done, I had to honor my part of the bargain and help my companion make her selections. The problem with this was, it left me as the lone male in one of those trendy dress shops, w'hie Peggy was in the daangeroom trying on dresses. What was 1 supposed to look at? Homosexuality catalyst to hell? I CORNUCOPIA by Dave Broome What do you think will be the one single contributing factor that leads to the final demise of our Western society? Will it be the collapse of the international banking system? War with the Eastern Bloc nations? Ramp- ant, runaway inflation? Internal revolution? Well, if you picked one of these choices, you, according to the most Reverend Jimmy Swaggart, would be dead wrong. I sense you are just itching and squirming to know what Jim the Swagger feels will be the catalyst that sends all of us into the blue burning, brimstone fires of hell. The answer is. ...are you ready for it? Homosexuality. I, quite by accident, caught Jimmy the Swagger last Sunday morning. I must have gobbled up a pack of Rolalds to counter the acid that this scurrilous relic from the middle ages was feeding me. In his Southern deep fried drawl, Jin the Swagger, with Bible waving madly overhead, claimed that, yes, homosexuality has dragg- ed down past empires and will, surely, be the single reason ourW astern world will crumble to ashes and dust. 1 had this ludicrous picture flash In my mind of thousands of goys marching, acme he ruins, carrying placards reading, we !Aveovercome.' The Swagger also said he did not take kindly to gutless politicians that passed bills guaranteeing freedoms for all pe regardless of sexual orientation. Ho then, menacingly, pointed his finger directly at the camera and roared, "when you politicians pass these unacceptable lows, we Christians will be there to change them. "We will come marching in, so to speak. Not only is Swaggart the self-appolntevangelistic lender of the oppressed Chris- tian masses but the man is somewhat of o psydiologtst as well. He howled and homosexuality is not In the genes but just plain, old simple sin. According to his knowingness there are also no homosexual animals. Hallelujah. One dem wonder about the genes of a man who compares animals with man to help reinforce an already stupid, bigoted argu- ment. It is not until a child reaches puberty that looked and believe mo, there is no such he or cable during she s realizes ime ofe life thatons why manydit is have animal em Granted, some of the sludge oavailable on n T.V. discovered their sexual orientation may be is, let's say, aesthetically bankrupt, but different. Now, is this sin or biological? hardly pornographic. Let's get real Swag - His next bone of contention was the gart. dreaded disease, AIDS. He says, of course, ,limbo Swaggart's sanctimonious, atavistic that God sent this' fatal affliction to punish homosexuals and mankind. He continued by stating if a cure Is not found In 15 years, over 125 million Americans and 15 million Canadians will be stricken with the disease. That will be half of each nation's populations suffering from this slckness. The Reverend Jim should get his calculator repaired, although these grossly Inflated figures do make for good scarp tactics and even greater oratory. Jim The Swagger's third target In this never ending, sonorous attack on evil, was pornography. He was more than a little miffed that an American Senate Committee found, and he says. 1 quote, "the triple sewage systems of Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler, slightly pornographic but generally harmless." You see. according to the Swag, these three skin megazines are responsible for the "panda. mic ' flood of child rrwlestatlons. Pederasty, which comes from the Greek language, means boy lover. Today, the word Pedaphll is used and generally refers to young boys and girls. 1 know a lot of men who enjoy reading all three mags and none, to my knowledge, have gone out and molested a child or raped a woman. Someone ought to point out to Swaggart that these gtosaites of photos of naked adult Indies and not children. This brings up another pertinent question. Why would a creepy drill molester be turned on by pictures of nude women when there are so Oh yes, he ranted on saying that there are many trashy drat porno rags available no homosexual children either. I defy through the mail and some stored. The Swaggarttofind meany five-year-old kid that ululation did oat end there, however. knows anything mare about sehniality other Did you know pornography is being piped than he's a boy, she's a girl and why. ieto the living roosts of our homes? I have polemic didn't end with porno. He rumble on by saying Universities were no good because they "spit on the word of God." "Get your children into a good, God-fearing Christian university," he said. Omo then wonders how the many poor people could afford to pay for their children's costly education in private religious institutions. And finally, all you Baud) town preachers will he gladdened to hear that swaggering Jim did not forgot you, as well. fie warbled and. again, 1 quote, them aro too many preachers pussyfooting around today that won't call a sin, sire". • Now, I never met a minister or priest who did not know what sin was. The problem with our sten and women of the cloth is they don't have an arena full of cameras and a brainwashed audience to perform in front of. Lest we forget, 1 don't know of ono single priest or minister that hail the reputation of being a rapacious vulture praying upon the gullible and the elderly. I'll take the honesty, Integrity and caring of the small town preacher over the electronic gouging of these phoney charlatans any day. Swnggnrt's arguments are erected on a foundation of sand and mediaeval Ignorance. In ntyopinion he makes Khedefy look like a midget. Channel 0 Wtngham, mercifully, cut off this most noxlousofall the T.V.evangelists but part two continues next Sunday. Swaggering Jim ended the grinding mess by telling us to sit right down and help this ministry by %wiling him a dhcquo. His son then appeared on the screen to tell us that "you can now get daddies favorite hymns in a nice four record package for the low Bum of Just t20." Enough said. Keeping an eye to fashion Most of the people I work with think I've flipped out. Other had already resigned themselves to the fact I always was • and pnibethty always will be • a little bit off the wall. I say in this case, ern fust following a precedent set by my broornball team. Because of their influences I can't exactly say rm seeing things through rase -colored glasses these days, but anyone who has seen me, will vouch for the fact 1 am seeing things through glasses - of some sort. rd forgotten wiaat a crazy bunch of people made up this particular braomball team. Since our times together on the ice ended some time ago all the crazy antics of the season had already been stored away in the bads of my mind, only to be pulled out again as reference material for my memoirs - or some such thing. Now I have a new bit of "insanity?" to file away for later documentation. It was on the eve of the broomball banquet that the historic event took place. Once things wound down some 13 women, and a few assorted males, tehhverged on a private residence. Now, that convergence might not have triggered any undue notice had it not been for one thing - that those coin the converging looked like a squad of spaced out apparitions from the 1960s, or at best, Elton John look -allies. Seems the team discovered the newest in eye apparel, namely novelty sunglasses. And gauging from the response these objedshave received it is apparent they could set on their way to surpassingpopulari Y by Vernier and other such trendsetting glasses. You see, these goggles are more in tune with today's way of life. They really make a Statement about the person who wears them. No doubt psychologise?. would have a heydey with these spectacles. Available in purple, blue or pink stripes and-ordleeka the glasses can bepurdtased in anyof three basic designer shapes, depending on personal preference. it is in viewing the p� really f each individual he psylogis • SWEATSOCKS by Heather Mcllwraith begin hs -her analysis of the person behind the shaker Amateur psythoanalysis on the night in question turned up the following conclusions: 1. that th a romantic was likely to perch ase the heart -shaped glasses, while the romantic who pardtased pink was more than likely more suer/weal] in love than the one who opted to be bedecked in blue. 2. That the dreamer, and eternal optimist ig more than likely going to purchase those glassesthat will make hlm-her appear forever starry -eye and 3. the more sedate individual, or child -at -heart would go for tate goo goo googify eyed look that could only come about with the help of those areolar shaped goggles. Bearing that in mind it was quite the sight to view a number of individuals attempting to carry on even semi-serious conversations while wearing glasses that resembled mis- placed hearts, stars and drdes. The entre set up looked like a human facsimile of a Fisher-Price Game - Name the Shape. Because not only were the frames of the glasses weird shapes, but they poaaassed a feature few (MI %wager no) other glasses possessed. These glasses were virtually armless. Instead of the regulation straight back over the ear arms that most glasses sport, these novelty glasses were kept on the head by virtueof a different sort of apparatus. You've already pictured anot UII 01 adults f'uh belly anyway u wearing star, heart and circular glasses. Now add to that a picture of the same adults wearing earrings that corresponded to the shape that surrounded each eye. The glasses were held intact by two link chains (in plastic corresponding to the color of the glasses) which were slung over both ears. At the end of each chain. which readied down to one's shoulders was eithera star, a heart or a circle. Bizarre. Now the chains worked well, since all that was required to adjust the glasses so that they fit snuggly on the head, was a slight tug on the chain. So what if you had a alight case of link burn behind your ears. Regardless of whatever other purpose these glasses do or don't serve they certainly do de one thing • they allow ono to make a real "spectacle" of themselves. A spectacle you wouldn't want too many people to see. Maybe that's why, "f wear my sunglasses at night." r ti