The Wingham Advance, 1912-09-12, Page 6GETTING HIM LOCATED.
tClIncinnati VIneuirero
She—Is he D. cultured man?
Ite—Well, he le what you might term
agricultured.
1
GREAT ACHIEVEMENT.
(Judge.)
American genius has done some great
ting, and it may yet invent a health
fooa that tastes like eomethiag to eat.
•••1141.1.
A PURELY PERSONAL MATTER.
tWoman's World.)
To talk ot .anybody but himself "re-
forming" a man is about as eutile it
talking Of breathing for him,
e
AND IT 19.•
(Boeton Trait:3(14M.)
Wife—Toni, I wish you wouldn't play
poker. 1 dou't even the name of
the game.
I-Inb---Why not?
Wife --it suggests "playing with fire."
MAN AND HIS SORROWS.
(WaehIngton Star.)
"Most of our real sorrows are our own
feeilt," said the man of severe ideals.
"I don't see how you ean 'ay that," re-
joined the baseball fan. "I wasn't play-
ing on our home team when it lost those
ctitical games,
A NEW INDUSTRY.
(Judge's Library,e
"Now that se many automobiles are
passing your house," :laid the actor, "1
should think that you would keep your
tens .shut up."
"'What:" aaid the farmer. ".And cut oil
my greatest interne?"
AN OPEN SECRET.
(Chicago News.)
"Minnie," said her mother to her little
daughter, who had the telltale hetet,
"why is it you can't keep a seerete"
"Because, mamma," exelahled the pre-
cocious miss, "two of my froat teeth we
gone, and the secrets Just slip out."
BUT HE DID.
(Boston Post.)
Myrtle—What made you nervous when
Harry started to propose?
Ethel—I wasn't sure that was his in-
tention.
•
DIFFICULT ASCENT.
(Washington Star.)
"There is always room at the top."
"Yes," replied the policeman in the big
e1f3e "There is room, but it is hard to
get past the man higher up."
•
CORRECT.
(eineinnati Enquirer.)
'Why do they -always say that VIM- 15
cheap?" asked Mrs. Naggs.
"Because the supply always exceeds the
demand," replied Mr, Nagg.
A GOD TIME TO DO IT.
(Judge.)
"Is your daughter going to practice on
the piano this afternoon?"
"Yes, I think so.".
"Well, then, I'd like to borrow your
lawn mower. I've got to eut the grass
some time, anyway.'
• 1
NATURAL QUERY.
(Woman's Home Companion.)
The Old-Timer—Yes, sir, we had tw.)
ice crops this winter.
The Newcomer to the Country—That
speaks pretty well for this section. I'm
glad we moved out here. What kind of
water did you plant?
a
WILLING TO HELP.
(Judge's Library.)
Mr. Crawford—The only way for me
to avoid frie)se payments is. to put every-
thing I OINTt in your name.
Mrs. Crawford—Won't it be just lovely
for me to have all that money to spend?
4
THE SCHEDULE.
(Harper's Bazar.)
Husband (ImpatientlY)—How loeg be-
fore Bridget will serve dinner?
Wife—,One crash of china, two smells
of burnt food, and three rings at the
back -door bell.
4 i•-;;•
THE BEST SHE COULD DO.
(Judge's Library.).
"I cannot live without you," he de-
clared.
"Don't say that," she replied. "I shall
not marry you, but I will asicl father to
give you a, job."
AvAr
THE POEM.
(McCall's Magazine.)
Friend—What was the title of your
poem?
Poet—Oh, Give Me Back My Dreams.
Friend—And what Old the editor write
to you?
Poet—Take 'cm.
lodb•41••••.n. •
ON HIS KNEES.
(Boston Transcript.)
Ethel—Jack Huggard told me a. long
etory last night.
Kitty—Is he an interesting story tell-
er?
Ethel—T should say so; he held his
audience froni start to finish.
*erg
TO THE THIRSTY.
(Lippincott's.)
Willy—Pa, what's a hopeless case?
Pa—Twelve empties.
NATURAL CONSEQUENCE.
(Exchange.)
Teacher—It is Bald that a camel can go
eeven-dayse without water.
&nail Boy—Please, ma'am, how long
can he go if he has water.
1.4.4
HERE'S A BOLD MAN.
(Boston Transcript.)
She—We women suffer in silenee),
He—I suppose that's why you never
permit It to exist where you are.
ONE WAY OF DOING IT.
(Exchange.)
"How much are nine and nine?" asked
the teacher of the juvenile class.
"Ninety-nine," promptly answered the
boy at the foot.
1)-*
LITERALLY TRUE.
(Judge.)
Father—aly daughter tells me you have
all kinds of money.
$ultor—Yes, sir.
Father—May I ask what your buelness
le?
Suitor—rm a. cOln colleetor.
e. e
KNOWING owes.
(Cleveland Leader.)
"He Itnews all the best people in town."
"Why doesn't he associate with them,
then?"
"They know him."
- 4-4-0
A HELPFUL SUOGESTION.
(Judge.)
"Yes," said Blobson, "when t got 1111111e
there they %yore—twinsi t was :limply
Paralyzed. We mimed One of them .Ann
Eliza, but we're np 41. tree for a name
for the °thee."
"Why not call her Paralyzer?" etiggeet-
ed 13inkt.
110.0.
FORBEARANCE UNREVVAROEO.
(Washington f•itar.)
"You should be slew to enger," said
the oolored youth's employc.r,
"I/ater4 tvlait 1 yore,'' wee tho dkcon.
solate answer. "I Were I. J .j()W II/
ger 110 he dont) lind toe wimp bele,' 1
knerWed dat tie tieht wae stalittl."
JUST ONE CtUESS.
(Chicago iteetnel Iferald.)
8CPIns 10 rise that tho man who
toetielte himself to think baseball and
talk haeeball all the time, inut be weak-
minded."
"The 'team that'll representing emir
home teen tilla year le Milting a poor
ehowln", oh?"
iiiiiiiimiiiiIiinitiiiiiiM1111111111111111111111111111111101101111
jp,•m,o,m,ogwr,..w.ogauao,w",,
THE DEAREST GIRL
1 IN THE WORLD
miuiiiiLilhlIiIIIIuuIflHuIIlililH1fl1HItlu1UlWh1IflUhh1l 111101
The three ehairt occupied by tbe hul
irs sat in a row, And three footetools
lay in front of Om Lady Agatha was
the first to welcome her, and whets she
looked steadily at Dorothy for MO -
went, her Mee paled ane her hand
trembled.
The name Dorothy toriehed her heart
as no other contd. It was the name of
her eldest sister, who died broken-heert-
ed over her daughter Dorothy. It Was
a sad, sad story aid few persons knew
The three ladies surveyed Dorothy as
&mit, as possible and exchanged glances.
They were almost unnerved. It was a
quaint old room this drawing -room with
its great sombre hangings and heavy
furniture of an age gone—it Was WO
some old pietures whose colorings had
been enriched by time. To one side
there was 'mother ehair with its foot-
stool in front; it told a tale of sorrow
as it sat there unoccupied. Everything
around held a peculiar fascination for
Dorothy. Mystery surrounded every-
thing as a veil. To Dorothy it became
a strange fascination—it charmed and
held her spellbound,
Lady Agatha could think of nothing
save the strange resemblance of this
young etranger to her own family. Then,
too, the name, so quaint and old, seemed
In some peculiar -way to make her heart
ache. She touehed the bell aa she pelts
eii, "Would you like tosee our picture
gallery? There are some fine old pictures
far1011g them."
Dorothy thanked her, for nothing
pleased her so much as the old work of
ages past. The footman entered, and. si-
lently waited to be addressed,
"Light the candles in the gallery,"
said Lady Agatha, and soon they enter-
ed a long room that would have been
a delight in itself. Its old wane were
covered. There were pictures that were
of immense value; some that would have
brought their weight in gold, almost.
Dorothy gazed, spellbound. She was en-
tranced. This was like a visit to Fairy-
land • She stood before one. A. young
girl with great blue eyes and sunny hair.
A girl in the morning of womanhood. On
her white bare arm there was a bracelet
of peculiar workmanship. It attracted
Dorothy. It seemed to hold her atten-
tion, It was a golden serpent with
great emerald eye. Ito forked tongue
had protruded front its mouth as if
about to strike its foe.
"What are you dreaming of?" asked
Lady Agatha, tenderely. The tone re-
stored her to consciousness, Immediately.
"I was thinking where I could have
seen that bracelet, for I am sure I have
seen it somewhere. It seems a dream
to me now," answered Dorothy.
"That picture is of my ester Dorothy
in her girlhood. The bracelet was here
There Was a soft low whisper as she
uttered the name Dorothy. Her tones
were full of love and tendernete
"And Dorothy is dead?" asked Doro-
thy, in low tones.
"Yea, dead, and her Dorothy too. It
is a eaered old name to ue. We love the
old name even."
There wits a moisture in her eyes and
a pathos in her voice. Dorothy turned
away and followed them into the draw-
ing -room as dinner was announeed. Lady
Agatha led the way, followed by Doro-
thy. It wee a magnificent old, room,
whose wainscoting was black with great
age. The old table was elegantly served,
but the meal was cold, proud and formal.
When it wan ended, they repaired to the
drawing -room, when eeffee was always
served.. There wae an. old piano in the
room. Dorothy gazed lovingly at it.
"You play, do you. nott" asked Lady
Agatha. Dorothy's eye had searehed out
a quaint old guitar that lay in one
corner of the roam. Around it wee tied
a faded, old blue ribbon.
"May I see this?" asked Dorothy,
touching the old instrument.
Lady Agatha assentets, and Dorothy
took up the old instrument, tenderly
wourfd the old blue ribbon about her
fair neck and touched. the stringa. She
seated herself on a low etool and began
an old aong. Her voice was clear and
ringing and beautiful. She played on
to the end of the song, and when she
had finished there were tears in every
eye.
The three ladiee recovered themselves,
soon. The song she had sung had. touch-
ed their hearts too deeely to mentioned
then. After a short time Lady Agatha
said,
"You sing beautifully, my child."
"I ant happy to have pleased you,"
said Dorothy.
"Are you nearly related to the Dun -
reverie?" asked Lady Priscilla,
"I am not related to them at sun," au-
awered Dorothy, eonfueedly.
Lady Aveira saw the evident eonfu-
sion. "We were sure you were, when
we heard you were mistress of Dun -
raven."
"I only knew the eau end his daugh-
ter. They were the deerest frieuds
ever lied. Dnuraven was left me by
the earl and hie daughter."
There was a, mountain of sadness in
Dorothy's toilet.
"Have you relatives?" flaked Lady
Agatha.
"Not one on earth, that I know of,"
Answered Dorothy.
"Poor lonely ohildt" exelaimed Ledy
Agatha, tenderly, in an undertone.
"It ie a eource of great sorrow to me
to be obliged to tell you that I never
knew a tie of kindred. 1 was eeered
by ono Dame Wynter, and all my child-
hood supposed, elle was related to me,
but just before she died he told me
she was no kith nor kin of mine. She
died before she could tell me Anything
more. I would give one-half my life to
know more
"That is not yours to give. Perhaps
God will disclose thet as He dos% every4
thing else, in good time," said Lady
Agatha.
The dock in the tower chimey ten,
and Dorothy had to go as her carriage
awaited her.
"You will come againt" tasked the
ladies. "We lend a lonely life now in
our old age. A bright young face eheert
They kissed Dorothy on the cheek,
and she left them.
The thtee pale -faced women were
hearted that night. It seemed aft it the
grave had given bitek ite dead and the
years had turned backward in their
flight. In each heett there was a great
love- for the Wenger, The 'silvery tones
of her voice bad broeght (sail into their
eye's. Their memory strayed back over
halloWed and forbidden ground.
1;.'aell thought of the past, but no whie,
per -escaped their 110.
That night ao, Parkins assieted her to
dierobe, elle stood near the 'window and
watched the dark, pointed towero. "Par,
kine, Ow dear people nutat lead very
Ionily lives over therel Everything
titY011 of the rave to me.' t Mie did not
know how ntueh sweet eorrew there wee
in her voice,
"It was not that way in the old dap.
They say the house was fall of revelry
all the time, but they had a great trou-
ble, end since then have Shut then -
!selves out from the world entirely.
"It's a sad story, and Peritape you
have heard It, auy lady? There were
four sietere of them, and the eldest,
Lady Dorothy Somerville, W,11.S the move
beautiful woman of her time. She mar-
rted Lord licaslyv, end they had only
one eleld, a glel named Dorothy, 'who
was very like her znother as to beauty,
Wheu the lord died, Lady Roslyn and
her child went to the Towers to live.
Their father, Lad Somervilie, willed
that the Towers should always be1,-ept
as a home, and he desired hls children
to live there if any were so unfortunate
as to low their husbands, Lord. Drake
died first, tied Lady Agatha went home.
Thee Lord Moreton. died„ and Lady
own') la ve.a pita 'imp -frog ui uosettenpe
Priscilla went home. Then followed
eoon, after Lord Reslyu, ism]. Lady Doro-
thy Roelyn and her child went there,
and hest of all Lord Heatheote was k111.
0, and Lady Angelina weut home,"
"The little Derothy was the pet of the
household, and attracted everyone by
her beauty and sweet dispoeition. Every
one loved her. She finished bar
vvhstrever she wont, 'After a Uwe 4er
aunts arranged a magriage for her with
Sir Alexander March, who veva metny
yeaes her senior, In fact, quite old
and decrepit, but very rich and power-
ful. I can not understand wtie they
d havehoulthought of wealth, or the
Soniervilles were very rice), as 111010 all
of the lords, their huebands. At any
rate, the young Dorothy had a. will of
her own and bad been visiting'at Ruth -
vert 1-1:01130 Whet"! there Wail a lairse
number of young folks. They *ay Dor-
othy met Some one there that *he IC/f-
ed and that she refused Sir Alexander
March outright. These ladies are a
most peculiar raee of people. They thInk
ea-elt almosz am infallible as the Wowed
Pope himself, and they -were auseteed
when. Dorothy rebelled against them,
They say they used 2nethods lair tind
foul to accomplish it, and went on with
the wedding prepleartions Pet the
Same as if Miss Dorothy had consented.
They say Sir Ale' -ander Marek had no
idea of her great &alike of himself. leo,
when within a few days of the weddlog
and everything had been settled, Miss
Dorothy had a, meeting with her lever,
who was about to sail for India, were
he was compelled to go for e tittle. I
don't just remember al lof it, but it
seems that one night, when her loose
was in the neighborhood, Dorothy *tote
out and joined him. It has been said she
came In the night with her golden ho.ir ,
flying about her face and that she cried
and .f4ked her lover to marry her. The
landlady of tho Inn told that they did
not hear any more of Dorothy for a
short time and she told than little or
nothing about her marriage or the name
of the man she had married. She went
to Cliff Towers onee, but the door was
closed on her, and she went away from
there never to return. it le said she
wrote them afterwards that she had
married, the man she loved, and that he
was of noble birth, etc., but elle was
deed to all at Cliff Towers, for they
never had the least proef that she hail
married, and they refused to believe it,
and Sir Alexander Mareh upbraided
them mott severely, and altogether It
was a 'dreadful state of affaire. It was
said that Dorothy's husband, whoever
he was, left tier to go'to India, aria he
took that terrible fever, and lay nigh
unto death for many months, and wheu
he came back, if ever he did, for no one
knows to this day, he must have found
Dorothy dead, for she died shortly af-
ter the birth of her girl child, and they
buried her body in the Cliff Towers'
vaults with their other dead. .1 ease not
understand why they did not do mare
in life, and not wait until death claim-
ed her, but they did this, and may tied
forgive them for it alli
The woman nurse kept the baby for
a time, until the Cliff Towers' people
decided to take it, and. when they asked
for it, the woxnan fetid it was dead, and
showed them the spot where it ley bur-
ied In the churchyard. After a time the
woman went away from there and was
never heard of afterwards. The Cliff
Towers' people do not believe that Dor-
othy wee married at all. They thought
Awn() had fallen over them, and Lady
Dorothy, the mother, died broken-
hearted. I say it was more than likely
she (lied from wounded pride, for she
lied an overabundance of that, as they
ell had. The three ladles over at Cliff
Tower's never allow any one to mention
the /eery in their hearing, and seidora
allow the name of Dorothy called in
their hearing. They are a etiff-neeked,
proud race,"
When she had finished the story
there Were tears In Dorothy's eyes, She
felt for the outeetet Doeothy, and the
jeep gloom that enshrouded her his-
tory. Her heart ached for her, and she
ttletvtibtereos ov, o,htoonineemeLtd wphicteen.
11-111 'llen'dr 1))01d
ed it among the dead. •
If that had been etoeement, it had
tome too late. Dorothy threw a wrap
over her ehoulders. and sat beside the
'open window. She could net Meese
That each etoey had completely un-
nerved her, She eat and watched the
moonlight flickering through tho groat
trees, -aud the fantastie shadows creep-
ing from behind the towers. A low
moan of tile wind reached her oa,rs, and
died out in soles. The etsaseletsa murmur
anti nigh of the waves were heard
beating against the shore, She could
think of nothing eke save Dorothy, end
her own lonely life, She thought of hese
:self 4.%st fleetly as a waif without ono
trace of her parentage, 'Twere 'better
bad he died like poor Dorothy's hate',
that to have lived with etiell it great.
Meek eloud restieg over her parentage.
She grieved over this for years, end
somehow thie-ticul, sed tole had brought
her eotrow nore learly than ever be-
fore her mind, and her heart welled so
wearily that she fell asleep, and When
the sun arose it found her there at the
windote
ClIA.PTEll
The bright gronmer daye fled by. Thyro.
thy Itade no plans for leaving Dunravon.
It WAS to her a haven Of reit And penes,
even happiness, had it not been for that
elOild that /Settled over her lifo at Lent -
hill. Thne had not lowlife' the greet
-
tulle she felt for the kind bend, nor the
gentle voles that had smoothed her
rough Childish pathway, nor lessened orie
whit the lova ohe felt for Lord Wedder-
hum (even though he had forgotten her
and lett her to tight WS battle of life
alooe. Now that elle Wee tnietreee of
vaSt Wealth elle fouttd bagelf noltai)pier
than oho had been when she
t.e second etory room of tb.e lodgiag
house, and to,ught mnaie leesomi and
lived on fresh penny buns and olear cold
weter. She bed idly dreamed away the .
pleasant springtime, but she eoula not
dream her life essay. She was restless.
She walked. down to the aeoshore—list.
ItSs, idle, careless. She listened te the
inurniur of the deep waters, She grasped
et the bite of Beaweed as the waves
rolled them shoreward.
Dorothy gathered her Olueter of white
roses, pinned them to her belt it.nd 'NAM -
cd over to OW Towers. She always
toulid a Stra,zige, sweet reat at Cliff
Towers. Her heart turned to old Lent,
hill, and ached dismally for a eight of
the delta- old place, and a sweet breath
of the winds that swept over the moors.
If she could only have one more
glimpse a the dear old place, and Lord
Wodderburn. Me woadered if ha evee
thought of tier in all these years? She
felt euro he had not, since he lead shown
by hie alone° that he had forgotten her.
She wondered if he had ever merried,
This thought puede her heart ado ter-
ribly until elie remembered he had beam'
liimeelf to her, and that he could not
do OD until she was dead, but the Doro-
thy )20 had bat down at old Lenthill was
deed—died with the old life. No, she
vrould not think of him, agsAn. She
straightened hereelf up and walked. as
proudly as it duchess. It was the old,
old pride. The same pride that forced
another Dorothy, in years gone, to live
and die rather than break her word,
The same Dorothy who had borne ati.
viva -and died repudiated and disowned,
while waiting for a husband that never
comae until too late. Dorothy thought
ef all thie and her heart walkeil though
she tried in Vain to throw it off. She
walked late the great hall at 01111
TQWerS, Whose inhabitants had wearied
Wettoltipg and welting for her. They had
leerned to love her—these cold, Peoud
women that had abut out ell love from
their hearts for eo many yeers. She
found them in the morning room, end
she kiased each one tent:lar1 ? on the
Omsk. She saw there, hanging with
ite heat to. the wall, a, life -ie portrait,
and over it hung it Week coyerIng, She
fete theist was Deorothy, the sweet, fair
Dorothy that had lived end died, aban-
doned, and. disgraced. The sweet, fair
girl that had not received justice until
tOo late. Dorothy Wynter's heart Relied
for leer. She could not help but think
theirs had been a similar fate, and. her
heart went out tu sympathy for the
Dorothy of old..
"You mat not negleet tta so long,"
ecaoluzind jedy, .Agatha, "You do not know
how eagerly we, have waited for your
"I am so restless and unhappy myself,
of late, that my face looks like a storm
cloud," said Dorothy,
"Bat there's sunshine back of the
cloud," said Lady Angelina.
"I do not think I Call be quite well.
have grown so morbid and unhalltpyb.;:,
Lady Agatham
laughed. It amused her
to See a young person with life alt
fore her, and surrounded by everything
to make life desirable, unhappy,
"My dear child, you rely you ere un.
happy and restless. Compare your ett
with ours. Our life is Almost ended,
Yours is before you with happiness in
store. Our life apd one love is tlead,
If we only had tsonie one to cheer and
comfort us. I sometimes think if oar
Dorothy's child had onlv )ived we might
have made sorne reparation,"
There were tears in three pairs of
eyes, and sobs in every heart.
Dorothy wae sitting on a low steel at
Lady Agatha% feet.
She got up and put her arms around
the speaker. It was n touching, quiet
sympathy, and love.
"Ate 'you sure that your Dorothy's
child died?" elle asked,
"Quite sure," said Lady Agatha; "at
leest the woman said so, and ehe had
no reason. for deceiving us, I think,"
"I cannot explain what 1: feel about
it," said Dorothy, "but, I doubt. IL"
She got up and drew the black cur-
tain to one ,sicle add returned the pic-
ture before the ladies could ee far re-
cover their tuniszernent ste to sorbet it.
There, smiling down on them, beautiful
and girlish, was their Dorothy, ant the
ladie,s dried their tears and looked in
admiration at the lovely face they had
held in their memories all theta .veare.
It seemed to them that the clead had
come to life and stood before them in
ono,itioleork Da tertOitiilsle.
f
and tell ine if you
wish me to believe there was any guilt
or shame there. I cannot help it, hut
I will not believe it, no matter what
they- were, for there muet have been
some mitigating eireumettowes about lief
actions. You have buried your hearts
artd your love and heaped Pride
over them. You have no proof that
the child died. . You have only one
persoree word, and that person may
have hurt you, for I love
have deceived you. Pardonyoz anitft
love your Dorothy. There was a Wein-
tive tone in her voiee that went direct
to their hearts. Here was this seri
pleading for their Dorothy. They lied
banished her from their hearts and
heaped the pride of yeers over her,
Their reparation was almost like their
juetiee, too late.
The three women shed tears, bitter
teem All in a moment they sew that
they had not done justice, That they
had settled things in their own minds
and had not listened to reeson, This
girl, a stranger, had bade to exhudme
their dead paet, and stand them before
it, but in their hearts there was noth-
ing but tenderness for her. "What nee)1
we do? What cn.» we do'?" they cried.
"Convince yourselves that the ohild of
Dorothy is dead. If she is not, repteir
as fax es possible the wrong done moth-
er and. Witt If she Is dead—there is
nothing ertore to be done,"
Dorothy spoke with much feeling.
Her own thoughts had made her nor -
Vella and excitable, and the spoke earn -
fatly. "It is the inapiration of mercy
that tient you to me to show us the
way," staid Lady Agatha.
is, indeed," said Lnily Preseina.
Dorothy had arisen and stood by the
portrait. She had not thought of it.
LaelytAgatha looked at the glri and the
picture beside her, and wits asstonifthed
at, the tesemblanee between the tsvci.
She trembled visibly, the, feet some
one .ehould notice it, gazed oet of tee
open window. There were the same nye,
large, &Ark. and Iumlootie. There was
the same forehead and the same wealth
of bright hair. The mouth, and expres-
Sion Were alike. It eatised a shudder to
pate over every one, but each had her
thoughts from the other.
Dorethy arose end left them, but she
left the fair smiling faeo of their dead
10,6 before them to remind them of
their way. She went down the path,
eameward, then tinted to the cliffe
and settled heteelf there to &eerie
"117tiltla.at sball we do?" etek.ed Lake
4
"Send for Preston & Varloigh, and
let them edviee us," fetid Lady Priselita.
"Ilutt would bring comment," urged
Lady Agatha.
"8o it would," isaid lettly Angelietts
eould not beer Oats' ss14 leady
Agatha.
**Then we might Pond to private dee,
teetivee. They ettn do evittythitist
vedette and they are so auto ,alfW‘
(To IA Oottittued.)
'hiteol/100. * e/94-41teseegetene4,
"nAft4e4‘-,4k Cov741(6,
--441,440.0-44 260.4/Le/to
HE RETURNED IT.
1111ke-tt heard you got a letter from
your brother, Denny.
Pat—Indeed I did.
Mike—Was there anythine important itt
the letter? .411
Pat—Well, e didn't open it, tor on the
outside of the envelope was printed:
"Please return in five days," so I Bent it
back to hiam—Oharles O'Brien, Pennsyl-
yanta.
34
Minerd's Liniment for sale every,
where.
4 1 t
WOOLWICH ARSENAL.
Britain orwee her present arsenal a,t
Woolvvielt to an accident, The Govern.
ment had a gan foundry in Moorfields,
where, upon one oeeension. in the year
1710, a distinguished peaty were
ered together to witness the operation
of (meting a large cannon.
A young foreigner, named Schlach,
who seems to have been almost an en,
tire stranger, but who was well ao-
gullinted with the details of cestieg,
noticed that 0210 of the mould a had been
Insufficiently dried, and warned the
moulders againat using it. They diens-
garded his advice, and when he zaw that
he could not prevail upon them to de
-
grist, he immediately put himself well
out a harm's way before the cannon
we out. A terrible explosion occurred
wheu the molten metal rushed into the
wet mould, owing to the sudden generatton of steam that could find no outlet,
and several persons were killed and a
large neunber injured.
It is said that search was made for
the man whose predietione had been
sO. painfully verified, and that the Gov-
ernment eirsployed him to advise about
the beet mode of pre -venting sueti twee
dents in future, "The result was that
Moorfielde was given. up As a site of a
gun foundry altogether, and upon his
advice the establishment was removed
to the Warren at Woolwich.
IMPORTANT
NOTICE
TO DIABETICS
Kamsack, Stok., Attg, 5, 1912.
Messrs, The .Senol Manufacturing
Winnipeg Man,
Gentlemeni—To-day 1 write you and
am as healthy ASa healthy man could
be, 1 was told by se,veral doctors that
um troubled with "Diabetes," and
that the only thing for me was to keep
a 'strict diet to prolong my life. But
a few days after 1 heard of Sallee
eure for diabetes and began to take
their cure, as this ie the only euro for
diabetee, and ant prond to say that
not only it has done me good, but has
completely cured Ilse, 1 am obliged by
the doctors to eat anything and every-
thing and ant healthy and live like any
healthy man. My cure finished com-
pletely on July 29, 1912.
1. ean recommend any one suffering
with diabetes to apply to Saito' Mfg,
Co. and they are our() to be cured. I
thank you, and T. fail in word,: to ex-
press My thanks 1.0 yOU. AnyOne Wish-
ing to !rot any information how T. was
cured and everything about it. may
Write to meo—Yours truly,
JOE KNAZAN, Kaneack, Sask.
11. word more to the Salmi
Mfg, Co,: 1 feel new jest like going
out in Main ttreet, Winnipeg, and
"yell -ont": .1 was cured of Diabetes by
the Sanol Mfg. Co., who have the only
Cure for Diabetes.
Sanot Antl•Diabetes Is the new
German CURE. Manufactured In Win.
nipeg by The Sanol Manufacturing
Company of Canada, Limited, 977
Main Street.
Price, per bottle, $2.00, from drug.
gists or direct,
• ALL TO TO DO OVER AGAIN.
It is an open question if the old fish-
erman in the following story ever got
the right -answer to the problem that
was puzzling his head. A writer in Ev-
erybody's Metiazine, at leatt leaves one
in doubt on that seure. The riddle was
this; "If a herring and a halt cost
penny and a half, how many herrings
can you buy for o shilling?" The otd
fisherman had worked on it for some
time.
"What did you say the notenerel and
it half (Tien" he naked at hoit.
"I didn't say - mael.erel; 1 said her-
ring," explained the skippLr.
"Oh. that's different," said the other..
"I've been figuring on mackerel,"
4,
Putnam's Corn Extractor
Rids feet of Corns
'hat every corn needs is the soothing
influence of Putnam's Painlasa Corn
and Wart Extractor, which in twenty-
four home lifts out every root, branch
and stem of eorna and wake. just
clean riddatice to the ell offender—
that's the way Puttam's Paiulase Corn
and Wart Extractor acts. Reftete it
substitute preparation for Putnam's
Extractor, 25c. at.,ruggists.
it
A HIGH FLYER.
"Henry," Saki. Mrs. ifornbeak, anxious.
ly. "I ain't one of those people wile
worries very much, but I don't like the
idea of our son. Arthur, becoming one of
those bird men."
"Who eaid he was going to be an avi-
ator?" asked Mr. Hornbeak.
"Well, here's Cousin Bill writing that
we'd better put a eurb on Arthur; says
he's flying awful high for a young fele
ler."-eeWoteatt'e World.
• s • _ -
80#11C16y (reminiscently) --.4 remem-
ber that when I was a boy my great
deeire was to possets a bugle. Int
wife—Yes, and sure from taking, too
many horn e you halm a bugle that
you don't want. ---Boston. Transeript,
48
MORSE GOT THE MONEY.
A New York broker was praising, Rpm,
PoS of his probable return. to Wail street.
Charles W. Moree's ability as it money
1.4141'9.128etie.y tell a story about Morse," he
chuckled, "Morse went to a millionaire
one day ana maid:
4, 'Lend inc three million, I must have
three Million for that new deal of mine.,
eald the milionaire,
,But I've only, got two million in readY
money to -day.
Is that all?' seid oMie. 'Well, hand
it Over, then—you can owe me the other
million,'"
140-i*4.
50 CENTS
PER WEEK
Puts An Organ or Piano in
Your Home.
orozp,-.;
On Friday, March 15th, we eomraene-
ed our annual slaughter sale of all used
instruraente in stock. This year sees
as with double the n.uinber we ever
had. Some eighty-five instruments are
• offered and among them organs bear.
Ing names of such well-known makers
as Bell, Karns Thomas, Doherty and
Dominion. The prieet of these range
from $15 to $00 at the above terms,
The pianos bear such well-known names
of makers as Decker, Thomas, Herald,
Weber, Worrawith and Ileintzman &
Co. Every instrument has been repair-
ed by our owu woll.ineu, and carries a
flee years' guarantee, arid as a special
inducement we will make an agreement
to take any instroment back on ex-
change for a better one any time within
three years Rod allow every cent paid.
Send post card at once for complete
list. with full particulars,
Heintzman & Co., 71 Ring street east,
Hamilton.
THE AG TIGER.
IVIarvellous Skil Stalking His
Pre
Moat wild n are specialiate—
T:y.
inEs-
fuli
that ie to say, they are highly developed
in one particular direction. The tiger
is great as a stalker. Ins feet !seem to
be "shod with SiIPTIVe." IL Elliott,
for many years a resident of India, cited
an experience of one of his neighbors
illustrative ef this point.
Ile led Leen muelt 1111710yea by tieers
and at 1a.t tied a 1111.11CV!:. 0111, 'ill it clew%ing and took up his own poeitien in it
tree to wait till the Unto ehould come
after the 1)ait„ The. groend wee covered
with driedeeaves. ehieh in hot weather
are so brittle that even 1 welkine of
it bird over them van he hoard for a
goed detainee. ,
In nu very ionic time a large tiger
slipped out of the fore.t and eluerly
edged toward tite bullock. His method
was so elaborate and careful that the
man who e•iw it used to dee'are that
it would have been worth 1.000 rupees
to any young sportsman to have wit,
neteed it,
So carefully did, he put down eaA
paw mid so gradually did he crush the
leaves under it that not it Founa was
to be. ho-avd. Between hint and the bill-
loek was 'a stump ebou 1 four feet
with long proicesing surfeee rocts. This,
plainly. the neer looked Helen as a god -
n
&'eTIde. got upon Due of the mote, bal-
anced hini,felf carefully and so was able
to walk (wieldy and silently as far as
the stump, lie appreached so gradually
and noiselely and hitic color ageinet the
brown leaves wt si invisible that he
Wan close upon tho bulluck before he Was
perceived.
Then ithi,tantly the bullock charged.
The tiger elinhd hint and in a monnnt
more had his paws on the bullock's
sleek ready to drag him down. Then,
like a 'f1a$11. he caught :.sight of the rope
by wbieh the bullock was tiei, and
turned and sprang, into the forest, all so
quiekly that the man in the tree had
vnite to ftre.
NA U
Ruby Rose Cold Cream
A toilet delight, with the exquisite
fragrance of fresh roses. It pre-
serves the most delicate corn-
ple,xion against sun, wind and
dust, and keeps hands and arms
soft aed seanole $eleretd fel
sore lips. Try it---yeu'd certainly
appreciate it.
In 25c. c;aleass ere at
your cimggiet`2. 196
NATIONAL DRUG AND CHEMICAL CO.
OF CANADA, LIMITED.
LANOTYPE GRAMMAR.
(Ottawa Citizen.) .
Sorneboily writes to the Citizen caning
attentten to a grammatical error in Pile
Free Pre.ss. We would like to feel tnat
suoh errors In tine oaper are so rare RS
to warrant distinction of this kind, Coin -
moat iimikesty •L!ornpels us to inform the
critic, hom ever, rttit any day in any Get
column he will find a btinett of titem itot
only. In The Free Profs, but In the elitiken
and other pttpers. Tho way in which tlie
lii'rertYt11)1c: gifithigo'sm11:kingeliss,' °Tit
os
laugh, and oceaelonally editors have been
known to swette—aist in a hesitating.
ventsper, you know,
t-1 11
A WINDSOR 'LADY'S APPEAL
To All 'Women t 1 will fiend free with
fun inxtructions, My home treatment
sthieh nositively cures Leucorrhoea,
ilIceration. Dietne.cornerits. loaning of the
Womb. Painful or Irregular Periods,
Uterine and Ovarian Turnore or Growths,
also Hot FlusheS, Nervousnesa, aietan-
eheiy. Pains in the Head, Back or 1.10w -
els, KidneY and 131adeer Troublea, where
itvised hY weaknese peculiar to our sex,
you can continue teeatinent at home at
it Mit Of only about 12 cents a week.
MI book. "Woman's Own Medical Ad-
visor." abso tent free on reetiete, 'Write
to-daY. A.ddress Mita. M. Strrinters, Box
U. S. Windsor. Ont.
.—........-.....-4,....4.
MARFtlEb CONFIDENCE.
"Marie," said lir. Valeshulg to his
wife.
"'Yes, John."
"1 have eometiting on my mind that I
must ten you before. I can ever be hap-
PY." . ..
1.1 snail bp glad to bear anything you
have to say, John."
*It is hard to tell yop, but 'I can't hide
tee 'teeth any longer, Ntstier 1 married
. you under Wee pretences."
"Sou MI"
"Do you remember what It was that
btoUttilt us together?"
'lean r over forget it, John? We W610
at 016 bathing. beech, 1 was Arownitity,
and you saved me after I had given my-
self up for log."
"And afterward, in gratitude, you ntaP-
rled me."
iles, 1 felt that r owed my life to
you,"
"Marna I deluded you about that lee,
te
cue buntee. When you believed your-
- "Of !Own/Ding the water was ouly waist
a OI
dote . You Were never irt danger."
o kinew it, John," she answered. "i
2z*n. tOOt at the bettorn ell tee time,"
"AND HUSOAND."
-0 lifornia Club Woman Who Is Very
Coneletent.
'rho practiee adopted by Mr. 11. '1',
Howe, of eferslielltown, la,, and tieverel
other delegates to the recant bleaniol
eonvention of permitting their bus,
bands to be identified on hotel registers
by merely writing their bueinees title
of linebond, mine likely to become a
fad among the New Women of (Senior-
nia. The lira woman of the state
known to have acted ou the suggestion
of the women from the East is Mrs. 11,
Perkins,
She brought her huoband up from Pia -
nada, and, In large uninietakable (Aire-
eeraphy, wrote on the register of the
Arn/lx Hotel:
"Mrs. H. Perkins end hissband, Pia -
node,"
According to all aecounte, l'erkin.s is
a perfectly good husband. lie 18 it de-
signer and decorator and gained mtteli
invorable notice bust Vette her his worit
in arrangine the evhibite of the varioua
apple sbosvs lield in the Sacramento and
San ilaoquin River valleys,—San Vran-
eisco Chronicle,
SEND II4*NAIVIES
Ex,iviembers of Thirteenth May Now
Register for Semi -Centennial
Arrangements have been made for
the registration of names in eonneetiou
with the eelebretion of the serai-eert-
tennial of the Thirteenth Royal Regi-
ment, end it is hoped that all ex -mem-
bers will send in their name, The
registration of Dames will be made at
Norttheimer'S ento.•ic titer°, 15 King
street west. This is the only means
the officers have of getting into touch
with exemembere, and it is hoped that
the members and ex -members who
know of the •celebration will inform
any ex -members whose whereabouts
they know, so' that they may accept
this notice of the affair as an invita-
tion to send itt their names. As soon
as names are reeeivell personal intl.
tations will be sent mit and Informe-
tion given regarding the celebration.
Through the eo-operation of all meiu.
hers and esHinembers who know of the
arrangements that ere beieg made, the
affair can be inade the auecess the of-
ficers hope, and ae elaborate arrange -
molts are being made it is believed
2 that the attendance will he very large
on September 13, 14 and 15.
r 1
tylinard's Liniment Relieves Neuralgia
sane—
HIS BIRTHDAY SURPRISE.
, "-ife you wish to eon4uit
the doetor. Couldn't you eunxe to-1110r-
ToW,
l'atient•-Wity. ien't the doetor in?
Doctor's Wife 011, yes, he'e in; but
yoe etre you're his very first patient,
end I want I. uive him a eurpviee to-
morrow lo.ovse it his birtlidey,
Minare's Liniment Cures Dandruff.
THE COMMON FRACTION.
Tier Husband --The census officials
tte that the average family consists of
four and a freetien pasties. How do
yen account for the fractiont
Ilie Wife --Oh. that is the husband.—
;fudge.
ntdoseph, Let1i. duly 14,1003.
Mil -lard's Liniment Co.. Limited.
lientlentee,--1 was badly kieked by
iny hk,rse laa May and after uF,o:ng
.i.reparatiAms on my 1og noth'ng
wont-dd.°, My leg wati,-blael: as jet. 1 was.4
laid up in bed tor a fortnight and mild
not walk. After vsing three bottles of
your .,M1NA1t1YS LINDIENT 1 was -per-
fectly cured, so that I eould start ou
the read,
JOS, DUBES,
Commercial Travsller,
LOVE F07, A RAT.
Aire. Clark, wife of the Speaker of the
National Huteee of Reprosentatives, is
credited in Weman's Wald with this
story:
"There was a rearlititer who believed—
as 1 do' --that theie ie something good in
all men arid wumon,
"The minister began to Oullea and to
jot dovat in his netebool: epeeific in-
etaneee. One day he was paying a visit
to it condemned prisoner, and a rat stole
out from his hiding place and crept to-
ward the prisoner. The unhappy man
fondled the rat.
"'Do you love that rat., and have you
itton tso kite1 to him at to tame him
completely?' ttsLed the mini.,ter, eagerly.
"'Love this rat re.peated the pts.
weer, 'Why, I'd share my last crust
with him.'
"'And eau yuu iue, my peor fel-
low, what has put in -to yew' heart this
uneelfish love for a rain
Sure,' answered the prisoner. 'This
rat—he bt the jailer, sir!'"
:* •
MAN TO MAN.
The lady of decided notions and pen-
ile:II leanings went to coneuit her law.
"Good-mornieg, ":Ntra. Taovker," eitid
the man of law. ."Thle ien real pleas -
nee. Take this easy ehair, int me lower
the window blind to keep the sun out
of your eyes. Will you hove a foot-
stool? Do you feel the draught from
the window?"
The women of (handed, eta., eyed hien
"One innItten 1, plea se," she e omm a n
, sternly. "When I come here 1 wont
to talk biteinees with you as Man to
man. Treat me like you would it man."
The lawyer eank into hie ehair and
put his feet OD the table.
"Right -o!" lie said, breezily. "Will you
have a cigar, Polly?"
•
Minerd's Liniteent Cures Burris, ate.
NEW BUTTER TEST.
new taat far fat and salt in huller
is described ia it recent eireul,tr lemted
by the Bureau of Animal loduetiee of
the Department of Agriculture. The test
referred to AVaii invented by iloseoe H.
Shaw, chemist in the dairy dieleion, and
espeeittly desigaed for use ia eream-
eries. It )tees hi the hands of practical
creamery men a simple, rapid iota aeeur-
ate 'method by whieh can be determined
the percentage of fat and salt in butter,
In eonneetion with one of the reliable
moieture teete already in use, this test
snakes) poesible the complete analysis of
butter right before the ehurn. The new
test will probably not require more than
$a worth of apparatus besides that al.
ieatiy on band 3iL moet creamerios. The
seine eentrifuge ts used ea in tile Bab-
coek test, and the enine acid.
HIS TASK,
Dorethea— What ‘1, et e you doing after
the steeident'.?
Herbert —Seraping up an aequaintanA
Harvard Lampoon.
ISSUE ,NO. 87 M)12
I II II
HEP WANT).
tie team:terse* WANT/44D. let111104*
at Auldmaelenso nande. Ilighest
rot first class Men. APPly, stating sx-
Perience, to William Itanditon Comperay,
teinite0, Peterborough, On4ariO.
vte A. N T tie — Ir.A.V=4/43.8 4,ND
liouseMaid at once .Reforenoes. :Hex
1.82, Brampton, Ontario.
W 11414 (41.1r1q GENICRAL
TY stock of forty -rive hundred and
caole for good farm or elty propeTtY. J.
Alvin, &4)4 ClintOn street, Toronto, Ont.
wANTBD —YOUNG MAN, TO MI-ST133
bus and 40 porter work at once.
State age and salary wanted. Queen's
1-kotel, Bra.mpton, Ont.
'CAT A NTIDD — LIVID SAVESIV.A.1"4 FOR
TV general etere;•apleaulid opportunity
for man of energy and ability, P. O.
Drawee en, Hanover, Oat.
rri WANTED , AT 44010M.
P. xoonan, Mt, Forest.
rrWO XPEIRIEleTOED IZEon.A.N.Tes
A. for lathe, Jig and tool work, also all-
Prbvers. Creeinian Bros., manufacturers
knitting' machines, Georgetown, Ont.
TipNC1 MN FOR III011 CLASS
Cabinet work, stair work, hardwoods.
State experience and wages required,
Knight Bros., Burke Falls, Ont.
APIOTnr–lAls1:1:./T-IgleilCIPaDgesiDipleTr12
nent position. Apply Waldorf Hotel,
Ifamilton.
FOR SALE.
•••••••,,, • - .0.•donor••••.4.
To OR $.ALlt: PROSPEROLI
ture, electrie supply, implement arid
repair business and property. Store with
teeidence attached for sale, Stock small
and Wean; forty miles frorn city, Good
_reasons for selling. A snap. Apply to
Charles 0. Plank, Acton, Ont.
OR SALE—THE SAULTS HOUSE,
V Goderleh, Ont. Thoroughly modern
three-storey hotel, with every conveni-
ence and excellent stabling, including
half an acre of land; centrally looate-d.to
all important factories and convenient
to the residential and business district ef
this progressive town; direetly opposite.
to Grand Trunk Depot; continuously fill-
ed and busittees prosperous; reason tor
selling, proprietor retiring frem business.
ti.eirliculars and terms X1:0111, Ben. J.
Saulta, Box 4o, Goderteh, OTIC.
MISCELLANEOUS,
0.cere emPlele WEEIC IS THE AVER-
t7,...Q0•111.1 age salary that ehatafeurs,
who have taketi our correspondence
course, are getting. Would you like tO
drive a eter? Write for free booklet.
Toronto Auto Institute, Toronto,* Ont.
!TEAL ESTATE.
13 12„zA TTICAPITAL
3 I N offersthe7e f n OOST opapor:
(-unity for Investment in 'Western Can-
ada. Write for maps and information
about lots in "Highland Park"; they can-
not fail to make you money. Thie pro-
perty is not miles out of the city, but
ono mile from the Peden Station and tan
a mlle from the wholesale section.
Agents wanted, Poll particulars from
the OWnerS, G. L. Slater & Co., Scarth
stree i, Regina. Referenees, Dun's or
Bank of 'Montreal.
Medicine Hat
The centre of the world's largest
natural gas fields. The city Is giv-
ing to incoming industries free gas
and free sites. 16 new factories since
Jan. lst, among them the largest
flour mill in Canada and a million
dollar cement plant, 2 glass factories,
Victoria Ileights is mile from the
new industrial site. a rite for liter-
ature. Agents wanted.
SCOLLARD-KEIL CO.
262 PORTAGE AVE., WINNIPEG
FARMS FOR SALE.
SASK.A.Tt.:(11:EWAN FAR elle 170,te
sato 1 have low 40,0OO
acres of ehoice lands in (pia:allies from kt.
quarter section an, -situated in- the. finest
....heat belt in the Proviirce•,::.:oit':tye:C.:•N.
Raiin ay, between Regina and Sastatteon,
close to elevator surface; prices range
from $15 up fur raw prairie, $23 to ale awe
for improved lands, One-eparter cash;
balance ovbr rive years. Write for full
description; how is the time to buy be-
fore prices advance; do It to.do.y, A. B.
Waddell, Simpidn's Block, Regina., Sask.
INVESTMENTS.
-NV HifItgielt7OrVerfl nisarryHo p (Unit
ties to make loans; absolute security;
per cent. net to investor; improved .pro,
Derty; Canadian Northern and branch
Canadian Pacific Railways coming 193,,.
with ten-11111ns here; values will rise
Quickly: investigate and buy before tin*
rise; largest apple district In Province;
we sell large acreage; city, orchard' anti
farm lands; Information and literatur%
free. APPW Wilkinson & Fisher, Ke--
lov,na. B. C.
HOW COULD YOU, MABEL?
Mabel was visiting her aunt down
the country. One evening she came ine
the houee rather late,
"Where in the world have you been
all afternoon?" asked her aunt.
'In the hammock with my beloved,
.eyed her sternly, Then she
L lte Is
said;
"If I hear of any more sueh scandal-
ous proceedings I shall certainly writee,
to your mother."
81,040
112ENVAARD
For information that will lead
to the discovery or whereabouts of
the person or persons suffering from
Nervous Debility, Fits, Skin Dis-
ease, Blood Poison, Genito Urinary
Troubles, and Chronic or Special
Complaints that cannot be cured
at The Ontario Medical. Institute,
H3.265 Yonge Street, Toronto. '
CRITICISED.
erudgee
Uncle Eara—They lutve jnet eiscover-
ed that the hank eashier lute had a weak
heart for ten years past.
thsele nen—There's governmont su-
pervision for yon! Dank examiner hes
boon eOttling here all this time and jteet
found it out!
w
0.711
eze,
itexei.ttoP.JA
Vtz ad,..cfkg
delti
A-Vel4htidlead
444t4sieekleeireyeeed
1Pyeatefetteeit
7:L9 yleAse
0 EDYIK•Ail KINDS064ms
tee the CLEANEST, SIMPLEST,sn4 ist:STHONIL
DYE, one ran Ser --Why you don't tvon bee. ie .
know what It.11'41) of Cloth Yo4rGuocli taa Mach
efo•So MIAtatcea Ate Impossible.
Sent lot Poo Volor Cara, Story Itookla. stlq
Booklet shier results el Dyeing-0*er other colors.
Tlai 1011100144t1ctIAIMIOht Citt,„ litnitcd•
Montrelki.
"ftwootoilvifui