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The Wingham Times, 1911-07-20, Page 7PIE WINGBA,N TINES, JULY 20 1911. 1. Humor and Philosophy a . DV111CA1V M, ,s'MIIT'N PERT PARAGRAPHS, wants is where de old man tells his children that his mother used to 'Blake him take sulphur and molasses In the spring. i 'Every dog has his day, though some Of them should be given thirty days. It is distressing to think that a num- ber of innocent babes of today will deo, velop into United States senators With the development of the age we cradle neither grain nor babies any longer. Suffragettes, hadn'- t thought of horri- fying the men by appearing in their last: year's bats. A simplified X ray - by which a bill collector could see bow much money a man had in his pocket would' till a long felt want. Most every state- sman •and near statesman now has a presidential light- ning rod sticking out ot his hut. Why angleworms were Invented l• no mystery to the small boy. A woman with a charge account .often forgets that the first of the month has a way of coming round. Welcome. .At last, a full grown lady, •,,h Sweet spring Is In the land WIth garlands In her tresses And blossoms in her hand ��And with a disposition That any one could stand. Her favors wide she scatters Among the rich and poor. She Lightens up the landscape, The meadow and the moor And makes contentment anger. Ot that you may be sure. New breath she gives the nostrils. i New life she scatters tar. 'The sick and the downhearted. All worship at her star, .And dull, complaining mortals Get what they need—a jar. 'The trees put 'on their garments Ot bright and festive nue. 'The buds begin to open Apu take a sip of dew. .:Green is the reigning color. And not a soul Is blue. 'Oh, sprang, you are a charmer If ever there was one: We like your dash ot color, We axe your wealth of sun, .And we can only wish you Along. successful run. • f: ' Second Thought. :!'She has given up the idea of getting 'a divorce." "I thought she was determined." "Determined. She had her colts' dresses picked." "Did be win her back?" "No; she heard that alimonies• were mot being worn as large as formerly, .phis season." • They Cost Money. •"He Is getting rich by saving hie nickels." "That is the only way." "But too expensive." "How Is it?" "See how much It costs him to get them." In Doubt. George never told a single Ile. We know that tact full well. On one point nistory seems shy.. - What didn't William Tell? Too Shallow. •'What ails mm?" "A college education." "Trying to put a quart of knowledge into a ptut measure. 1 presume." ?ic.rrhoea bysentry Summer Complaint and all Bowel Troubles Are Curable by the Use of IDR. FOWLER S Extract of Wild e Strawberry a r... V� Y THIS STERLING REMEDY HAS BEEN ON THE MAREET FOR OVER 65 , YEARS AND HAS YET TO FAIL ' TO DO WHAT WE CLAIM FOR IT. If an unscrupulous druggist or' ideaaler lays.— !• "This is just its good or better," just lay --"Clive me '»r. rowlerls,' I know what I want waren I ask for it, and give me what I ask for." The price is 35 tents per bottle. See that the name, The T. Milburn Co., Limited, Toronto, Ont„ appears on the !able es we are the manufacturers arty pole propriatore of this remedy. «y CHOOSING A SiRE FOR THE DAIRY HERD In. selecting the sire for the herd a great many breeders, particularly, among the amateur breeders, make only one demand—that the sire be pure bred or registered. One Should go further than this and demand that the ancestors of the animal inques- tion be animals of merit, large pro- ducers and be typical for the breed. A great many of the pure bred bulls In use today as herd headers are no better than scrubs. Fot• the best re- sults we sbould demand that the fe- male ancestors be large producers of milk and butter fat instead of being satisfied with knowing that the sire or The present great producing dairy cow is the result of mating togeth- er the best milkers and repeating the process with the selection of the best of their offspring. For over 2,00 years the people of Holland have pursued this course without a break, and the great Holstein breed of cattle is the result. They have been much improved in America, especially in recent years. Rapid progress Is being made in Increas- ing their production largely because of the businesslike methods their breeders have adopted of requiring their cows to prove their dairy abll. Ity. dam or some other animal 1n the ped- igree carried off the show ring prize at a certain fair. The dairyman is primarily interested in how much milk and butterfat he can obtain from his herd. This is the basis of income and profit. Very . few milk producers or dairymen will ever lead his herd bull Into the show ring. Then why should so much attention be paid to the show ring ancestry of the bull or of the bull himself? Tie immediate ancestors of the herd bull are the ones that should concern us most. It is more impor'airt that his dam and grandams be .high pro- ducers than for him to be related to some great and wonderful cow that appears in his pedigree five or six generations back. Too much atten- tion Is paid to individual animals or families that may be represented or appear in the pedigree. In selecting the herd bull there are two courses open to the breeder. The one is to select a young bull, and the other is to select an old bull that has been triedand proved to be a prepo- tent animal. The advantage in select- ing a young bull for the herd is that it is cheaper and less risk is attended toward getting a mean and ugly bull as well as bringing any disease into the herd. In selecting a young bull one runs greater risk in getting one that will transmit the characteristics desired than in selecting an old bull that has been tried. The performance, and records in the ancestry are about the only guide that can be used In this, selection. When one selects an old bull that has been tried he has some certainty that this animal will raise. 'the production of his herd. When this. can be done it is probably the best method to use, but where one knows the value of a bull the price asked for him is oftentimes prohibitive. Blood Tells In the Dairy. The dairy calf has an inherent claim to be well born. It is her birthright.; It should have had the privilege of de-. scending from parents with a good or excellent record for dairy production. Its ancestors should' have been bred along a definite line for a definite end.' Its sire should be a good, purd bred dairy bu11,, selected because of his abil- ity or ekpected ability to stamp his qualities upon his offspring, If he in a mature bull so much the better. No farmer or breeder can afford to own,a poor sire. The dam should be as well bred as possible, commensurate with the owner's capital and experience. Under all circumstances the dam should be well nourished. A. man that will partially starve a pregnant cow is devoid of good cow sense. Starvation may resdlt not only from giving insuf- ficient feed, but in giving feed of a wrong character. A eow kept exces- sively fat on corn stover and cornmeal -may still be starving the calf.—D. H. Otis, Wisconsin Experiment Station. Champion Ayrshire Cow, Secretary Winslow of the Ayrshire Registry association announces that Netherhall Brownie IY., 23085, is the champion Ayrshire cow of the world. ger official record for 355 consecutive days was 18,110 pounds milk and 820.01 pounds butter fat, equal to £68 pounds butter. This animal is owned by J. W. Elise of Seattle, Wash, The test recently eompleted was under the supervision of the Washington State Agrieultural college. This record places her above the t:ow Bona Ross which held the world's championship for Ayrshires, with the official record of 16,o72 pounde Milk and 751 pounds butter.. _ . Humor and Philosophy lir V V1ffC.AJV M. s'MJTH PERT PARAGRAPHS. THE pie trust would retire from the field vanquished and binding up the wounds to its pocketbook were the women to fight it with the kind of pies that mother used to make. After a few years the storage egg must begin to think that this Is a cold world. Watch Wizard Burbank make it pos- sible for us to pick figs from thistles. The politician doesn't appreciate per- sons with long memories. If a snail could make up to look like a race horse it would find plenty of men ready to bet on it. A. bright man will know whether he is guilty or not before a jury tells him.. Many a man who .triesto be a ray of sunshine only succeeds in becoming a pest,. The man who lives beyond his means pays for it, if not in cash. tt A girl who knows she is pretty likes to have her suspicions corroborated. Feared the Worst. eat ►Yj "Oh, mother," cried little Benny, breathless to be first with the news, "Uncle George has ete something that don't agree with him." "Say 'eaten,' child. But what of that? Is be sick?" "Do you suppose It was Atmt Lizzie or one of the children that he eaten?" "Where did you get such an idea?" "I heard you tell father that none of the family agreed with him," The Responsible Party. "i am looking for the man higher up," said the stern officer of the law.. stepping stealthily into the a mahogany furnished office of Percy Pigsfeet, the originator and head perpetrator of the odorous cigar clipper trust. Percy tossed the better two-thirds of a forty cent cigar into the cut glass cuspidor and trembled visibly. Well he knew on whose trail the relentless sleuths of the law were camping, but he determined to bear the blows with fortitude. "The man higher up?" he inquired icily. "Yes!" hissed the detective, biting a chunk out of the back of a chair in unison to show that he meant busi- ness. "Oh, very well," said Percy. touching a button and turning to a messenger as he said: "Call the office boy. Some men are here after him." . Help For the Dense. "That was a fine jokeyou had in the magazine." "Glad you liked it." "But wasn't there something miss- ing?" "Wi]at was it?" "Don't you throw to a diagram?" Second Choice. "I hear that the Browns are going to lead the simple life this summer."' is news to me." •"I'halt they are to live thnt way?" "•'o: that strewn is so deeply in- volved." Cheap Amusement. I wish 1 had a million. Though 1 would take a twenty. 4 But when 3'ou go to wishing You may as well wish plenty. I know that wishing's tolly And not at alt produeti e, But for a cheap amusem `fit what garde Is so seduct preclude: `You sit around in slippers 'i'hat may be worn and Seedy, Your garments all proclaiming Yoor lot among the needy, But in your glowing fancy You deck yourself in raiment On which as laxed at present You couldn't make first payment, There is your gaudy castle In Spain or some place nearer, Perhaps in aft above you, So you may see it clearer, All furnished in a lovely And niest expensive manner And at the casement hying Your own and private bannor. And stated in the castle, A being most resplendent,. Your wife, a lovely princess, • With her high born attendant, Arad horses, autos, fliers— But stay! A simple million Would hardly be a starter. Just make the W1eh A billlosi, _a�+ SKIN OF A BADGER. So Loose the Animal Ciln. Almost Turn Somersaults. In It. The pelt of an adult, badger is ex- tremely thick and difficult for a biting adversary to penetrate, writes a trap- per in Fur ,News, and so loosely does the skin cover the body that the ani - nue Is able to turn almost around .in its hide,. Should a deg acquire a hold on the throat the badger turns himself so that the deg's grip is 'on the back of the hedger's neck without having loosened his first bold. Then the badger se- suree a viselike grip upon some vul• rleraible portion of his enemy, and while his long tusks penetrate to the limit he digs and scratches with his front feet that are furnished with «laws almost es formidable and deadly as alight be expected from an anteater of the dark continent He who has removed the pelt of a badger and is at all observing does not wonder at this auimat being sharp bit- ten and that he is able to hang with I]ltlldog tenacity when the formation and adjustment of its laws are noted. Neither is it so much of a mystery bow he manages to bore through the soil so rapidly that half a dozen men with shovels cannot overtake him, for he is a mass of cords and muscles, particu- larly in the neck. chest and shoulders, vow similar itj physical construction to thelground mole. The badger toes inward sharply when traveling and always on the walk, twisting about here and there very much like the movement of a skunk, while if it be in winter be makes a business of hunting buried dormant woodchucks. He is a fnr bearer of rather coarse quality. and there is a great range of value in the pelts taken, depending upon the length of the coatA badger is chiefly valuable when it has a long coat. so that the guard hairs can be plucked and used to make shaving brushes. CORSICAN CRUELTY. It Loomed Up Large In Napoleon's Treatment of Children. Napoleon bad a singular rage for', pulling children's ears, sometime. so hard as to make the poor children cry. Caroline was very vexed when she saw her little Achille the victim of his uncle's caresses, and more than once her son's, tears made her weep too. One day the First Consul, pulling the ears of tiie little fellow, hurt him, and he cried out. To teach him not to cry his uncle pulled his ear again, harder. Achille, having freed himself, came back to him in a fury and, raising his little fist, shouted: "You are a villain, a wicked, wicked villain!" To prove the contrary Napoleon should hare embraced his nephew and made him forget the pain be had gra- tuitously inflicted by some sbow of af- fection. But tenderness was not in his character. Corsicans scarcely know what it means, and, though Napoleon used to say. "I am less of a Corsican !than one thinks," he was really more so than any one or he himself thought. Instead of quieting his nephew he be- came angry and gave him a violent slap on the face. The child ran weep- ing to his Uncle Lucien, who was pres- ent, while Mme. Murat was so upset that she was taken ill, "from the ef- fort," says Lucien. who relates this episode, "she made to control her feel- ings, which such violence to her child outraged. Ass for the First Consul, he left the room, shrugging his shoulders and slamming the door and saying that Caroline had always been an affected creature and acted like all parents who spoiled their children." — Turquan's "Sisters of Napoleon." Old Time Smallpox Cure. To cure smallpox was apparently a very simple matter in the good old times. John of Gaddesden, court doc- tor to Edward I1., has recorded that he got rid of the disease by the simple expedient of wrapping his patients in red cloth. • • "Let scarlet red be taken," be says, "and let him who is suffering small- pox be entirely wrapped in it or in some other red cloth. 1 did this when the son of the illustrious king of Eng- land sutfered from smallpox. I took care that all about his bed should be red. and that cure succeeded very well."—London Chronicle. Would Do Just as Well. A well known clergyman who is very stout was baying unusual diffi• culty one morning in lacing his shoes. "My dear, you ought to have a valet," remarked his wife sympathet- ically. "A valet?" echoed the clergymen. "Well, my dear, if I bad a valley where I now have a mountain it would answer.".- Ladies' Home Journal, Shifting the Burden. "I note that you employ a great many quotations from the poets in your speeches." "Yes," replied the orator. "Just now In my distriot it is desirable to say at little as possible for which you can be held personally responsible."—Wash. ington Star. A Better Way, "I never throw away old intik, foi that would make me feel wasteful." "What do you do with it?" "1 give it away and feel charitable." —Washington Herald. Paying His Lawyer. . Lawver lannoyed)ohetter take yotrt case somewhere else. Yost are tot thin skinned for me. Client--Itardl3 pay to skin meg eh?- Ileetoa 'Praia script. .. 't\ +3 e're era PERT PARAGRAPHS. S OSIE peobple can't worry over big • things because they are so busy doing a similar service ter the little things.. It is comforting to observe that the crazy people always take a view con- trary to our own. The boss isn't round loudly proclaim- ing who be is. Mueb of the original sin to be ob- served about us doesn't show many signs or originality. What appear to be idle tears are often the busiest ones. Pessimism is another name for indi- gestion. The man who waits for opportunity to knock finds the waiting good. It is a poor marksman who considers a bird in the band worth two' in the bush. Iiand an enterprising man a lemon and he will ask you for a glass and some sugar to go along with it. While triivel broadens a man, it isn't necessarily fattening. The Afterthought. The sorry dub who fumes and frets When in an argument he gets Knows that his case is clear and strong; That he is right, the other wrong, But somehow he can't tell it Or even roughly spell it; But, oh, what brilliant things to say Into his mind will come next days In town hall scrap or in the lodge When he must either hit or dodge He bravely struggles to his feet To show his case arrayed complete, But when it comes to spieling He gets a dizzy feeling, Sits down with halt his thoughts unsaid. But next day how they flood his head! What powers of eloquence and wit, what figures through his fancy Alt, What logic, not to be denied, Comes rushing o'er him as a tide, Wheh afterthoughts come spinning In undisputed Inning! Then he could paralyze the mob, A grand spellbinder on the job. This Is the mark to separate t The near great from the truly great. The man of strength and good address Arrays his facts in time of stress. When they are needed they are ready. His aim Is true, his logic steady. The man who misses being great Has plenty when it is too late. Obeyed Order.• - "1'thought I told you not to cut your corns with my razor!" thundered the exasperated husband who was trying to lose a few of his whiskers. "And I haven't since you told me yon were so particular with your old butcher knife," replied the wife sweetly. "Well, it feels that way." "I did open a can of tomatoes with it. Would that hurt it any? You didn't say I wasn't to do that." Hopeless Cases. Speak gently; it is better far. But with some men you know You throw a brick to turn the trick. That kind of argument you pick, For it is all they know. Easing the Bur- den. "Her spending money doesn't amount to more than $20 a year." "How In the world does she 'live?" "Oh, they have a charge ac- count." To Be In it. "She reads the sporting page care- fully." "Daffy on athletics?" "Not at all." "Then why the waste of time?" "So that her husbands and sons can- not carry on a conversation at the table in a foreign language:" Playing Even. "Can't you get your husband to give up smoking?" "I don't want to." "Do you like smoke?" "I am not particularly enamored of tt, but there are too many things I Might have to give up in return." Fixed For Emergencies. "I shall altvai's wear your picture next my heart." "But suppose you shoulld learn to love another':" "Oh, that pocket will hold a dozen." Taking it Easy. "Tie is too lazy to walk upstairs." "1 suppose the coming down doesn't bother him." "Ile rain fall down." A Hot Time. "What is the teatsuu they cnn't get tilong together;" "A matter ot temperament." . "1lntter of tt'::ii;t'raLture, I should think." ^M: nee. Mnlid Hulse! cm a i ,'ir. a+"s 4.,y leaked ti, n:. ,it is .nrr, lush bay, tee that tt:rY. .,'11G :I:u 1 ti ,.•1'tl ,airy 111i•t 11 ri••tt nista 13 tr,r,seine, Awl when tee settee a iIIa lase a alta The' spring's m isal, the taxer s, tush, Tho Hind You Iia-vo A.Insem khat;g;Int, and, seleich Iias been fin ,;iso for over 30 years. Inats. borne the signature) of //7#1-74-,„ .. ,,. and h is been made under his per.. / bona' li l(rvision since its infancy. 11:4 . Atltk.ci ono to deceive you in this.. All Counterfeits, Imitations and "Just -as -good" are but Experiments that trifle 'f'uels end. endanger health of Infants and Clsildreu .Es.periernce against lilsperiinente What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare«. ;;oris, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, 19lorplline nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worm and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and. Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and flatulency, It assimilates the :Food, regulates the Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy and. natural sleep. The Children's Panacea—Tho Mother's Friend. C'ENUENE CASTONIA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of The Kind You Have Always Bouglit In Use For Over 30 Years. TNC CENTAUR COMPANY. 77 RIURRAY 5TRCET, NEW YORK CITY. aalatetots# ••15. •`r r Female Supremacy. A 1,000 pound steer goes to the block and that is the end of him, but only a fairly good dairy cow will produce several times her own weight in milk each year and keep it up during her entire active life. What is the an- swer? 00000000.00000000000000000 0 0 0 0 0 00000000•0.0000 The wise farmer. plans his summer time work in the midst of cold weather. 000.0000 Orchard and Garden. scatter wood ashes through the or- chard, especially on the sandy parts. If you are not using any system of cover crops keep the orchard well cul- tivated for two reasons, to keep down weeds and to conserve the soil, mois- ture. Rough, stormy weather should be utilized in preparing the frames and in replacing broken glass in the hot- bed and cold frame sash. It is desir- able to paint sash at least every other /ear, If the orchard is an old one with trees headed high let the chickens run in it and disk frequently, at least twice in three weeks. This will not only cultivate, but also furnishes a good scratching place for the chickens. If the orchard is young it should, of course, be headed low. In this case work under the trees with an exten- sion frame harrow. This harrow has a frame which may be extended so as to throw the diets out to the sides. This tool may be used as an ordinary harrow or may be used to straddle rows and is n very useful tool for the horticulturalist. Look for borers in the trunks of the young peach trees. If you find boles with gum exuding, either dig out the borer or kill him by thrusting a piece of wire into the hole and twisting it . around. Examine all grafts and re- move any branches which might switch them loose. o se. if the scions are growing cut away all the suckers which have started around the edges of the cut. A False Alarm. The'Farmers' Advocate. In connection with the reciprocity !proposals, it is unwarrantable to assert, as some of the anti-r'eciprocist press have undertaken to do, that the Cana- dian farms would be ruined or discs- trousl affected by free competition in his home market '(through the opera- tion of the favored -nations treaty) from the fanners of Japan, Colombia, Sweden, Franey?, Venezuela, Bassin, Switzerland, Bolivia, Austria-Hungary, Denmark, Argentine, Spain and the United States. The fact is that he already compotes with the farmers of • those countries in the free market of Great Britain, wh,'r„ lis wheat, cattle, elicese, pork, appl.'a and other pro- ; duets abundantly hold their own and command sale for whatever quantities may be forthcoming. If we can coni- ' pete in Britain. reacli;•i by a long rail- way journey, surely 'v' can compote in 'Caoale, where tronese •station gives us a natural pr'ot.'e ' 'fire truth is, ' (snafu 's tigelcu.tl. e ;las little to lege by th : opening of Iter markets to all ths agricultural c luntri's in the rworld,. but coesidel'able to gain by the opening of tar' Antt'rican ntark't to dairy pre - hag, live ato,.it, barley, fruit and other articles st r. Wrong Line. "Is this a hard- ware store?" "It is." "Got any bard cider?" "Only external varnishes." le et Cross When He Came. "Did be come across?" "I should say he did." "And shell out?" "I don't get you." "Come across with the coin?" "No; he came across the street and bifi:rd me one when 1 mentioned it."' No Size to It. "He is a big mai—in his own opin- ion." "Don't see how that could be." "why?, "Never tbought he had the capacity, to carry an opinion of any dimension," Common Supply Point. "Did she get her husband at the bar- gain counter or the second hand store" "He looks it." "Well, which one?" "Neither; at the bar of injustice.' Outshown. "What is the hand playing?" "'See—the Conquering Hero Comes'" "Where is the conquering' hero?" "Yon cannot see trim for the recep- tion committee." Corn mcrcializet" Art, "lie Is Gone it:liutr'r, i,,'ti,'v, me." "TO wlltat !•4•ilunI does 1i, ht'..,:.g?" "To the n(1II1ItLnn "Oh. Signs. 81,0 1'Il '," V•Orit ryc-ar• -v. 11`r• .., 1,. 1 1••• 1. . • ^ .• g.,.e; . tr... . • '.rt. el •.• .. .1 • Suffered From tier Head, Cold Not Stand I Work yrs . I"rea•'.• t tit , 31 Engle Ave., tirantioid, t) hitt ,t'w 'I Ir'aVe Stiff- tett') tiff-tet: t! With t -• tic r, 'a 1 and ent,lil not .' 3 • e. 1 ,ark. i moo doctoring ',with ..'V. rat t .tot tl he 'told me 1 h:'1 t..l ::t 'i u•ii ;g a:3:'th i31', hut, h;i.efts', a frit'i.a .a.oltl me about your , i i' area rte 1 r^i •,.•.. ;ys a,..0. ,i:L'r t4 CV ;'e.si-tai t. ;11 iael .i: vo i t• 'fitness their itee :)a1.1 :' . 1; r- in 3 eq. ad:at to do all eve n'. -t3 work 0. .lk 3 1 't'lr 11.1%%' to givi ' Mit`:tli n' /I- et stn:l Ni'l'e )`itis .aro 11 see.s.taite 1 aa: I. V 1 a,..eu oese.t, lt• . cr;,.; . %.'a'. at , l:e'a't. Lir 1.11'.' , ] 1 it t t'1 dl a a;V . ,'i til t ix viii b•tctl t..* �.,•� ,'sic:' ,,'r l,.t t".';'I tit 111 wta..:3, fes' .'star', tat ;ill ti elo.i:l or ineilej t'1Pc;�t OA. ,. tri Tale,: 1 ,'tiieI•, :dii )uta t±>wa Limited, foresee, Oaf:.