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The Wingham Times, 1911-07-20, Page 3i :y„ THE GUIISE OF THE NATION 13 CONSTIP.TIQN "Fruit -Oyes" Aleve Cures This. Disease A famous scientist states that Consti- pation,or non -action of the bowels,causes more deaths than all other diseases combined. Constipation inflames the .Kidneys, ruins digestion, is the found- ation of Rheumatism, poisons the blood, causes Headaches, Neuralgia, Nervous- ness end Insomnia, Constipation is caused by a weak or sluggish liver. Bile, the only purgative of the }logy, i; :secreted by the liver, whish in turn should pour out into the iutestitjes sufficient bile to move the , bowels, Unless the liver is active, there cannot be enough bile to move the bowels regularly, and Constipation is the result. "Fruit-,-tives", the famous fruit me- dicine, will always cure Constipation because it acts directly on the liver-- rellevee the congestion -increases time quantity of bile -and strengthens the bowel muscles, Svc, a box, 6 for $2.so, or Wei size, age. At ell dealers, or from Pruit-a-tivea Limited, Ottawa. SUPPOSE YOU TRY SMILING. Your burden is heavy, I haven't a doubt, But others have loads they must carry about, And they are not whining. Some people are glad if but half of the Lies out of the shadow, or part of the day They see the sun shining. Snppose you try smiling. I know you are lonely, but other hearts ache, And bravely refuse to be bitter or break Because of life's sorrow. They think of the joy in the land far away, And hasten the slow passing hours of to -day With hopes of to -morrow. Suppose you try smiling. This funny old world is a mirror, you know, Turn its way with a sneer, or face of a foe, And you will see trouble, But meet it with laughter and Iooks full of cheer, And back will come sunshine and love true and dear, Your blessings to double. Suppose you try smiling. All places are open to those who are glad, Too many Iack courage, too many are sad, So sing with your burden, the way is not long, And if you look upward your heart will grow strong, • And the skies will be clearing. Suppose you try smiling.. e -Myra Goodwin Plantz, in Catholic Standard and Times. CASTOR I A For Infants and Children. The Kind You Nate Always Bought Bears the Signature of a Humor an4 Philosophy, , Pr DV,/NC4 M. $lfIrm . PERT PARAGRAPHS. iims men who is not en good tonne with his mother-in-law to not liv- ing uP to Itis opportunitiea. A etltcb 10 the side Is mere ;distress* ing than a stich in time,. Tr GtIve..a ret*Jess. man rope'enoug1h and be will pawn it for a drink. Ever' man must put on the boxing gloves with fate, whether be likes a (scrap or not. Goad digestion is the main ingredient of a satisfactory dinner, but it meet have bele. Some 'men are so cross grained in tbetr disposition that it is all they can de to keep on good terms with them, *elves, No man should buy a salt of clothes So loud that his other creditors can hear it calling. EXCURSIONS TO WESTERN CANADA. The Grand Trunk Railway System announce that on Tuesdays, June 13th and 27th, July llth and 25th, August 8th and 22nd, September 5th and 19th, 1911, Homeseekers' Excursions will be run from all Stations in Ontario and Quebec to Western Canada, via Chicago and Duluth or via Chicago, St. Paul and Minneapolis, at reduced round trip fares. The well-known double track line of the Grand Trunk from the East to Chi- cago appeals to the traveller, and with the superior train service that is offer- ed by this line, including the famous "International. Limited" from Mont- real daily at 9 a. m., and which is the finest and fastest train in Canada, many passengers will be attracted this way, The route via Chicago is a most interesting one, taking passengers through the principal cities and towns in Canada and in the States of Michi- gan and Indiana. In addition to this a choice of seven Iines between Chicago and St. Paul and Minneapolis is offered. Owing to the great number of.Cana- diens who reside in Chicago, Minne- apolis, inne-a olis, Duluth and other cities en route, there is no doubt that the Grand Trunk will find many patrons who will take advantage of the opportunity thus af- forded them for a brief visit at the stations with their friends. Canadian citizens are exempt from so-called Immigration Examination, g ti at any point. isno detention and there p Baggageis carried through the e Unit- ed States in bond without requiring any special attention on the part of the passenger. Inspection is not necessary at any of the points at the border. Another feature that will appeal to the homeseeker is the comfortable transfer at points like Chicago, St. Paul and Duluth into freshly ventilated clean cars, avoiding the necessity of travelling a long distance in the same car. In addition to the above routes, the sale of tickets 'is also authorized via Sarnia, and the Northern Navigation Company's magnificent Steamers across Lake Huron and Lake Sitpetior. For further particulars apply to any Agent of the Grand Trunk ,Railway System, or write to Mr. J. Quinlan, District Passenger Agent, Bonaventnre Station, Montreal, or Mr.A. E. Duff, Histiriet Passenger Agent, 'Union Sta- bil, Toronto. A good man isn't a good liar, which is the difference between a good man and a good fisherman. Setting Himself a Bad Example. WING }!MES al 20, 1911 'Humor int Philosophy WOMAN N, OUT'S PERT PARAGRAPHS., A GIRL, takes care at her health be cause it improves bet -complexion, a. boy because it Inereasee hie rheum or the football teanm, If money were fathoms below the rout 4t,evil there would still be people who. would .be willing to dig for It; A Aman teneerinles thinks he could reform the town, only to and one small boy More than Ilia, match, Wrar Exercise Is a n" ('essity; otherwise many oI uswouldn't take it as a gift. It' a new baby won't ret r map a raise In Malars Ilia case Is !tapeless. The small boy who Is always seeing chances for easy money Is just as 11a. hie to grow up into an easy mark as lhto a captain ot Industry. The high sehout girl just has to make tiollections tut n.r nerbariom wben there Is 1,unin4htaping in Pres- peen 1. girl looks pletnres(tne with ease and grace(. nut lust wat('b a Wan try it, * (efi; An actor was' bragging about Ida summer home by the seaside. "What did it cost ypu?" asked a friend." t "Around $50,000," staid the actor modestly. "Say, BIM" "Weil?" "I wouldn't be so reckless as that it I were you, even with stage money." Made a Difference. Cncle. Henry Altman had a two-year- old colt of which he was very proud. Many were the disputes he had. with bis neighbors over the weight of the animal, and he consldered.that it was jealousy that caused many of them ,Who were regarded as experts to put• the weight at a figure a few hundred pounds below the weight on which he bad set his heart. One day he sent him to town with the boys to have him weighed. A few days later a neighbor came along and said to him: "Well, Uncle Henry, did the colt Weigh as much as you expected?" "Be might have been a trifle shy," Said the old man, "but I can explain that. It was all on account of a mis- take by the boys. I told them to have him weighed on a scale they weigh coal on to sell, and they bad him :weighed on the scales of a fellow who buys hay." Sacrificing. "Be married a woman who likes to Work." "That is lucky for him and pleasant too." "Oh, I don't know." "Why?" "She believes in self sacrifice and Is inclined to deny herself the pleasure." No Dream. "Suddenly," said the man with a three days' growth of beard and an Out of date necktie, "I found myself falling 400,000 feet into the depths of a bottomless pit" "Dreaming, I suppose." "No; just getting from under a tor. nor in wheat." A Busy Pest. There's a lovely little microbe Creeping softly up mY nose. I can feel the tingle, tingle Ot its cunning little toes. It will keep a -coming, coming To the, music of the sneeze' Tilt the stip wilt stop the plumbing And the doctor gets his fees, It's as busy as a gossip And insistent as the man Who is selling life insurance Dm the pay tomorrow plan, Mute taken tip its iedgtinft In my pretty rtoman fiat, And there isn't any dodglalte It's a 'scramble to the Mat It's a Welt utiinvltbd, I ani very tree to state. Ito One caned it with its family social a . tor a pleasant dat F p It moved in Without a Wattling Or depobitinil s. cent,. Mirmal' matters duly ,aeorntng, tluch as payment of the rest.. 9{car"• �-a Had I only had it weapon , .^ seta It on the way 'tl' bad bl ant it to deetructtoi I►YI it &rapped around to May NO* I'll have to grin and bear It • As mY tiostri1e it assails, Hut rd lifts in Site to tear it And to feed It to they Whalen. The Judging by Re - suite. "He Is devot• Ing ulntseli wool- ly to art." "tlut he isn't much 01 an art- ist." -Why not?" "Ile is, making, money at it." Knew About It. man was mi, tae girt was passing tart Why did she rove Mtn? Curious fool, be sou: tie had much gold and stocks and bonds to nu e. Her tau,er was the man who wrote the wul PERT PARAGRAPHS. x.14 -will travel faster than the truth, but it will not be the drat to arrive at the destination, because it must double on its tracks so often. Irrigation is snore potable when applied to the soil than to the throat,. ;if the harem skirtsare to eontrib- late to the emancipation of woman, much win depend on whether they Dave pockets or not.. Advice to children pot accompanied by example might as well be thrown at the birds. Youth is full of confidence, saith the cynic, until it Ands that life is a con- fidence onfidence game,. A hen, is a versatile creature. ;After Ler lay she chants her lay. , The private opinion IS apt to be that the general is an old blockhead. Tour true poet passes a barber shop on the other side of the street. Buyers report that aeroplanes coma high, but what could they expect? Uses an Antitode.. "I shouldn't think you couid stand it to associate with Jones so much. He is wrong in the bead on the subject of chickens, and you must know it. He talks about them in his sleep, thinks about them during the sermon and in- terrupts an intelligent baseball con- versation to give us the score his hens made last week. Ile would put me to the bad in a week." "You don't know bow to utilize him." "1 would be eempted to utilize him as a punching bag." "You are too Impetuous. Now, I find Jones a valuable ally. When Rinks comes along and starts talking about his baby 1 wait until be has to draw a breath and then mention chickens, That sets Jones going. and I slip out and let tbem enjoy themselves. 1 turn over all bores to him, un the theory that like cures tike." Neither Polite Nor Pleasant. "Opportunity knocks at every man's Joan. once." 1s that all r "That's wiat they say." •1 wish some utter things would •'spy it." "What. for example?" Advr„rs c tie une. It never kno(%ts, but just ol.-n- the door, walks right t3►.. Ind take:' tt,e mint comfortable things you hare." Ail Bosh. "1 brll.'re in the tree, and unlimited coinage of 'Utituun Sense.' "1t Is last tike aft ot you crack re tormers.• "11 na't is'?" ,"'Io believe in something that even t' you had the pr sr.'t to put 11 through would Intl tut want .,I d competent' ulan to operate It.' "Flave you se+e', Ali tunes?' "1 can't sit that 1 nave." ",Uo you know alas" "Not from a alae of sole leather." "Same Gs the beefsteak we bad this morning, 'nen." Something For Nothing. "You can't wake something out of nothing" "Can't, eh?' „Ha" "Just notice tiny tine Line of excuses," Began logether. "When die your OnIUuess begin?" "Really. I target, rhos. 1 never could keep these dates stralgbt anyway. If say wite was herr she cunld tell you sae year we were married tn." Not Impossible. "Can a man lice without work?" "Under certain (•Ircumstances."' -What are they?" "ile trust marry a rich and foolish woman," A Remedy. "He said he would never forget her:' "And did bee' "No.1 '"So he didn't marry her." Usettas. A eland may have a sti er lining, But what's' the benefit to that? Yon see it in the distance shinint Just like a dressy major's hat, Ent as your *lags are net In training. Your aeroplane, alas, untit, There isn't anyuse in straining To get a fair sized dining of it. Suppose you take a fall said shatter kour elbow or your toner bone And, finding Out what it the matter, Denver up a heartfelt groan. The optimist would can attention To ways that you were truly blest. The silver mans he Would mention Would be troy' toll a two months' rest, Were you tit foolish ways to squander Your patrimanY here and there And When you saw it flying yonder Sit down and watch it to despair. e the *a1 a Ianln Y to view it. That ot. At you (iy this dine shoele have learned. the ether tunng'b there. -g0 to it-. Note What you have yOti'li know yott'VI earned. Trills shiny lining, to be candid,. to a defusion anis a snare. Pett when retarertutse'It biota hes tended 119 tun or nearW double !,hare Pur yoU chastisement stern and gnilirig 1s in 'assn. st.lftet'flt blow • %', moo,' •..inµ n,tv• ono* ceninu: ".it ottani bb at, ti.ntn antae, you ennui' , Make Him Prove It. "Do I look like an idiot?" "1 refuse to commit myself." "But a fellow just called me one." • "Chance of a lifetime. Sue him for libel and see what the jury says!". • $coach Bwuor. David R. Form, the Chicago bank- er, has a dry Scotch humor. Speaking of the danger of being puffed up by sudden; honors, Mr. Forgan told this story of Simpson, the great. Scotch pbysicianF "Dr. Simpson had been absent from his class for conte time, Ind on his re- turn be announced that a great profes- sionaLhonor had beenconferred upon him,."!said Mr, Forgan. ""X am very happy to inform you, young gentlemen, that a very great honor bas come to mite since, last we meet here,' said Professor Simpson, his face beaming' with honest pride, 'I' have just received notification that I have been appointed physi,:ian-in-ordin ary to her Majesty Queen Victoria.' "The great discoverer of chloroform looked over his glasses as if he expect- ed his class to be quite taken away by the great news. Instead, he was shock- ed to hear those Scotch boys burst into the National Anthem, `God Save the Queen,' "And still they say the Scotch have no sense of humor," added Mr. Forgan, -Milwaukee Free Press. Unfailing Sign. "They say be is a millionaire." "Be may be a wealthy man, but 1 am quite certain he is not worth a mil- lion." "Why so positive?" "He pays more than $10 for a suit of . clothes," Economy. "What are you waiting for?" "Fourth of July," replied Mr. Smartie, "Why not kill two birds with one stone and wait for Christmas at the same time?" Disposition Faultless. "Is she a good musician?" "Good musician?" "Yes." "You bet She always stops when you tell her to." Homemade, "Be calls this a historical romance." "1 believe so." "Where did be get his history" "The same place he got his ro- mance." PreFer Treatment. A big fish has been piaying Around here for some time, but it is a bad actor." "Give it the kook." •-.-.sir--- For indoor shooting a Michigan rifle- man has invented a target which cat- ches the bullets without injury, per- mitting them to he used again. a.;tlax ':x The Town Tightwad. The tightwad has a pile of wealth in safety salted down; he's gathered in the scads by stealth from every end of town. He's loaded down with bonds and stocks, and mortgages and deeds; and when he takes his daily walks, some victim's bosom bleeds. The man who gets within his mesh no mercy need implore; he'll always have his pound of flesh, and looks around for more. To add a dollar to his stack, he'd risk his granite head; he'd turn the widow from her shack, the sick man front his bed, I'd rather gnaw at husks and stones, or grovel in a den, than have a pile a shining bones that's wrung from needy men. When you have lost your wad of dough, and all your plans are wrecked, you then may to the poorhouse go, and keep your self-respect. But if you torture folks in debt through all your grinding years, and rake in dollars moist with sweat, and blood, and women's tears, you'll learn to hate yourself some day, when death is diavving nigh; and when they file your bones away, no soul will heave a sigh. -Walt Mason. Salt Rheum On the Hand Yielded only to the soothing, healing influence 01 f DR.CHASE'S NTM ENT. In addition to the ,, suffering acid ant.oyance caused by eczema and salt rheum there is always danger of the trouble spreading and becoming chronic. For this reason the use of Dr. Chase's Ointment should be regu- lar and persistent until the cure hi thorough and coatpleto. Mrs. john 3. Delory, Linwood, Antigonish county, N.S., writes - I want to say that Dr. Chase'sOint- ment i t meet has proven a great blessing ng me. I had salt rheum on one hand, and could not get it helped up. The itching distressing t n 6 at times.es. Two boxes of I'll'. Chases Ointment Fats cured me eotnpletely, and 1 glad- ly recommend it to every sufferer." in every honte there is a demand for Dr, Chase's Ointment. It is par- ticularly useful where there are h dren. Chafing and skirl irritation are relieved fit ones and eczema id' curd by this soothing, healing olnt= merit. 60 cents a box: at till dealers, or Erdn'tanson, Bates & Co., Toronto. Poor Man! "Wbj does Blfiiltins have such n harassed look?" "His wife insists upon reading al' the suffrage news to him." No Wait For Spring. The height of affluence would be -- If I can net this past the printer - Would be to have, you must agree. That tures feeling in the winter. ABSOLUTE SECURITY, Genuine Carter's Little Liver Pills Must Boar Signature of See Pee -Simile Wrapper Below. t eery emelt end as easy te.take as anger., + FOR HEADACHE. Ci4RTE�S FOR DIMNESS., LE FOR BiLIOU eR FOR TORPID LIVER. f OR,,CONSTIPATION s,FOR $ALLOW SKIN; • FORT ECOMPLEitION • Nu* U.vtt RA�„Rr. tvareiiveteetaDie.,�r2.rs , CURE SiCK HEADACHE. MEN -YOU NEED NERVE Wonderful Nervous System DRS.KENNEDY&KENPW'Y Cor. Michigan Ave. and Griswold St., Detroit, Mich, N OT i A C tAll oouerttCerasnfrom Canada upaausdebnecnreepsasretd- sammasolalooms anent in Windsor, Ont, If you desire to see us personally call at our Medical Institute in Detroit as we see and treat no patients in our Windsor offices which are for Correspondence and Laboratory for Canadian business only. Address all letters as follows: DRS. KENNEDY & KENNEDY, Windsor, Oast. Write for our private address. EARLY INDISCRETIONS AND, EXCESSES HAVE UNDER- MINED YOUR SYSTEM The nerves control ati Actions el the holy so that say*, thing that debilitates theta will weaken ail organs of thsystem. Early lndlspr+tlons and Excesses 1tays ruie ned thoaeands et pzotntatnt; yoaag men. t, nnetorsl Drabs saPtheir vigor and vitality and they net ordaselop 10 a proper (medition o1" ausnhood. They rentals weak. Bogs, mentally, physicelty dna sexually, ..flow yeti feel? Are you nervous and weak, despondent acs gloomy,° spsets before the eyes with (wit circles under them, weak beck, kidneys irritable, pa:pitat ton of the heart. Wallet, debilitating dreamt, sediment lnurine, pimples oe theatre, eyes sunken, ho:low cheeks, careworn ex• Kenton, poor memory, lltelese, (tistrustfut, lacireaergy and strength, tired mornings, restless nights, change- able weeds, Prematuredecay, hone pains, hair loose, etc. Thfs la the conditionour Now Method Treatment is GUARANTEED TO CURE We have treated Diseases of Dien for almost a life- time and do not b have to expRGEent. Cousult us and we will tell you svhethet• you are curable or not. Wo tuarantee curable eases of NERVOUS DEP1LUTY. VARICOSE VEINS, BLOOD AND SKIN nisEASES. (IVET, BLADDER URINARY AND KIDNEY COMPLAINTS Free Booklet oa (Asepses Eo fen, if unable to Call QUESTION UST FOR9HOME TREATMENT ++4'++44"1'fi!T WIE+4•'E'.;,.t.+I+.t-44.s'4•*"0 :• The The SYNtj)1'S1S OF OAN.ADIAN NORTTI, WEST LAND isEQULATIONS. AN'S' person who is the sole head of a family or any male over 18 years old, may home- stead a quarter section of available Dominion land in Manitoba, Saskatchewan or Alberta. The applicant must appear in persoat the Dominion Lands Agency or Sob -Agency the district. Entry by proxy may be made at any ag0noy, on certain conditions, ley fattier, Mother, son, daughter, brother or sister of intending homesteader. Duties. --Sia months' residence upon and cultivation of the land in each of three years. A homesteader may live within nine miles of his homestead on a farm of at least 80 acres solely owned, and occupied by bin or by his father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister. In certain districts a homesteader in god standingmay preempt a. quetter•secticn Price 'A 00 per acre. is nom toad. P � set. h alongside e$ stead or the home st rd9id0 upon h D.e nes .-D3u P from nsix menthe in each of six years from the date bf homestead entry (Including the time required to earn homestead patent) end cultivate fifty* nares extra. 11 homesteader Who he exhausted Itis home, stead right and cannot obtain n preemption ma tinter fora purchased hontestead in certain di§tyrleta. Price18.00 per ser.. Ditties,-Must Veeide six litonlhe in eaoh of three years, antlti- ete fifty eared and erect n house worth 8800.00. w. w. CORY, . Deputy of the Minstar of thelnterior'. Verrn nts t will tot be paid f riots of this Ik1- 3•-1•�Fa!'*I'd'+4iF+ 14if.i"t' 'f-4~F'f-t,•l d•3••i"i•- •f' Times Clubbing hist! 1.6Q 4.50 1.85 1.80 2 2.30.30 4.50 t+' 1.60 2.35 1,60 1,80 1.60 2.85 1.60 Times and Weekly Globe Times and Daily plobe Times and Family Herald and Weekly Star.... Times and Toronto Weekly Bun . Times and Toronto Daily Star...,... Times and Toronto Daily News.. .. Times and Daily Mail and Empire. 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