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The Blyth Standard, 1908-05-28, Page 6aAtipP4jri44 Disappointed. 'Mr& Wrux'111, how do vett like your new flat?" Ue t't say rutytbhag about it \ire. Ilego, but 1 oa att me id p,tthe wie;t 10 1\'tat is the ttoubh llterc isttai :il:gei thin; I c.ut Chid fault withl" His Usual Course. \V'Ent de you do?" asked the fair is tdge player, whispering to a mina sit- ting Ireland her, wlteu yoult;tve a hand like tluttl geucrall1 swear," he answered. A Reasonable Request. "Yes," said the steamship agent, "that's our best rate for a second cabin passage to Liverpool," But, asked the prospective tourist, "don't yen make any rebate'!" "For w9mtt" 'Well, say for nine meals, l'nu always sick the fist three days out:'-Philadcl- phia Press. Not Embarrassed. Hive your clashes with the courts embarrassed you? -.Not at a11;' answered \lr. Dustin ttao, "Every time 1 ant fined and do not pay 1 feel that 1 have added just that itch to my earnings. "--\Pashing- ton Star. Might Have Saved Her. "have you ever regretted having your gift of second sight?" we asked the. medium, / "No," she replied, "but I have often regretted not having used it when I fell in love on my first eight, with the ram who became my husband," -Brooklyn Life. 'Tasted Like More. The minister, knowing how fond Pat was of wine, offered him a small wine- glassful, and said; "Pat, that wino is 100 years old," Faith, it's sass l for its age, then," said Pat. --Judge's Library. Tho USUAL CASE. Meeker -My wife and I never quarrel, She does se she pleases and I do, too. Bleeker-1 eee--es abe pleases. Meeker -Cit course. I'm not looking for trouble. 4R4aeNDgo Ct1T. Her Consideration. ;distress -Bridget, I hope you're not thinking at all of leaving me, l should be Very lonesome without you. Maid -Faith, and it's not lonely yell be, Mestlike, I'll go whin there's ss house - fel o' company for luncheon or dinner.- Lippietott s. So Stupid. "The French are awfully stupid." "Why, I always heard they were very clever people' "Well, they aren't. 1 was the hest French scholar in our class, and yet when I went to Paris they couldn't un- derstand a word I said." A Hollow Ring, Son -1st, why does lh'. Ring say his head is as clear as a bell? Pas-Beeause there is nothing in it but his tongue. -New York Tribune. A WARM MEMBER. Mr. : Pepper -Yes, 1 was the mustard out in Mr. Funnybone -Gee, but he's bot stuff. Crushed Possibilities, Fat Reporter -Why was my stay killed? Editor ---:1n net of leery. You fell down on it first. -Baltimore 'American. Her Way. "I wouldu't cry like that if I were you," said n Indy to tittle Alice. "Well," said Alice, `you can cry any way yott like, but this is my way." -The United Presbyterian. He Was Prospering. City Nephew -Well, uncle, did you vo 0 good year? Farlimr-Did I? 1 ooh, yes, 1 had four omit and three hogs killed by railroad tnains,an' two ltogs and nine chickens killed' 1 automobiles 1 cleared near a thousand dollars. -line Bohemian. How He Made Good. "Do you remember. Bluffwood, the chap who boasted -that it would not be long before he would be scoreldng in a big machine? Wellahe made good." :41r, indeed! Then, 1 suppose he is racing around c tae;; country in a big French ear?" ' "Not quite but 'i` a scorching in a big machine even) d Got a job run- ning a patent ironer') ,lnundry -Chicago N its. C ,r Mild Punishrne'it 0trnnger-m yon' town they close the, front doors of the saloon on Seedily, nd open the silo dom+k, do they? Can't that whipping the devil around the steitnp?: Native -Yes, and the whipping doesn't 'Mit Min a hit, either, This woman says that Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound saved her We. Mme. Emma Chatel, Vafeyftield, Belieriver, Quebec, writes to lam, Pinkham: I Went to tell you that without Lydia 3k.Pinkham's Vegetable Cogs. potmd, I would not be alive. For m usuffered with patuful and periods and inflarnmatlon of the feminine organs. Doctors could do nothing for me, and said I must sub- mit to an operation as I had a tumor, One of my cousins advised me to take Lydia L Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as it had oared her. "I did so and now 1 have no pain and am entirely cured. Your remedy is deserving of great praise?" FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN. For thirty years Lydia E. Pink - ham's Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for female ills and has positively cured thousands of women who have been troubled with displacetnent&, inflammation, ulcera- tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, that bear- ing -down feeling, flatulency,indiges- lion, dizziness or nervous prostration. Why don't you try it? Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for advice. She has guided thousands to health. Andress, Lynn, Masa. Honest Lincoln. On another occasion an appeal was made by a young man in Southern In - liana for some favor touching military operations, In preeenting has case to the President the young man said; By the way, President Lincoln, you knew my family," "Very well," said Mr. Lincoln. "I re- member that on one occasion I was on my way from Indiana to Illinois. 1 stop. ped at your father's house to eat dinner, and while there I had occasion to sharp- en my knife." "Yes," interrupted the young man, 'and you must have carried off the whet. stone, for we have' never seen it since that day." "I did not take it," replied Mr. Lin- teln, "but when I was through using it 1 laid it on the top of a post in the barnyard. I think you'll find it there If you look carefully." That may be," said the young man, "for it is so high that no ordinary per- son eon reach it." The sequel reveals the fact that the whetatone was found on the top of the post, thus vindicating both the honesty ind the memory which, Mr, Lincoln pes- seseed.-Washington Star, IMPORTANT TO FARMERS Highest prices paid for SWEET AND SOUR CREAM shipped to TORONTO When Aluminium Gives Out. Whence will it be practicable to ob- tain aluminium -already recognized as one of the meet indispensable of metals -when the deposits of beauxite give out? Beauxite is a kind of clay and the deposits have already been pretty well worked out. If alnminnum is to remain at a low price other sources of the me- tal must be discovered. On the 1nee of IIt the problem would not seem difficult, Inasmuch as every clay bank, it might be said, is nn aluminium mine. But the difficulty lies in extracting it. In bear xite the metal occurs in the fora of an oxide and is easily separated by summoning electricity to the aid of che- mistry. But in ordinary clayl'it assumes Mu shape of a silicate and is costly to extract. It remains, thein, for some in - genius chemist to devise a process by which the silicate may be compelled to yield the metal Cheaply. \Viten this has been accomplished the problem will be settled for all time. Here is another op- portunity for inventors. • • "Was Hamlet insane?". "No doubt at all about it." "You seem peels live." "Well, he killed a man, didn't he?' -Pittsburg Post, PARADISE FOR QUACKS. Free Play In. Sale of Patent Medicine in England. Great Britalu is the happy hunting ground of the medical pinch, if one can believe a member of the Chemists' As- sociation of Louden. Ile is quoted in Derrick's British Report as saying that two years ago the annual sale of pro prietery medicines in Ureal 'Britain amounted to $40,0110,000. In the United States and in most Eu- ropean countries some legislation either exists or has been attempted to limit or 10 stop the traffic in secret remedies. In England, based ou the principle of non-interference, absolute free play is given to it. It has been found expedient for the safety of the public to regulate the sale of poisons, but patent medicines, curiously enough, were exempt from the provisions of the law, a privilege which they enjoy together with legally quali- fied practitioners. In most countries the dealing in medi- cinal drugs and chemicals is reserved only to persona qualified by training, studiee and examination -that is, to pharmacist•. In England, by a curious misunderstanding of the functions of a pharmacist, he Is recognized by law merely as a "poison seller," and any one who pleases may supply the public with medicines the identity or purity or tker- eapeutic value of which he may be ab- solutely ignorant, end by the simple device of peeking them as a medicine and keeping the compostion secret Ile is able, by means of advertisement, to sub- situte Himself for competent and gtsali- fled medical and pharmaceutical sr - vice. • • Surgery for Varicose Veins. A foreign medical man, Dr, C. F. Kir lin, makes a plea for operating on vari- cose veins by what he terms the method of multiple short incisors, claiming that it does not take so long to do the oper- ation as it does with other operations where the vein is removed, that it is not so apt to become infected, and that if one incision becomes infected it can be dealt with more readily and without infecting the others. 'There is 00 scar tissue at the knee joint, thereby causing no pain or limping while wanting. There is practically no blood dost, especially none from the Hain vein; what little blood is lost is from the skin, Conval- escence is much shorter a week to ten deye' time being sufficient for the pat- ients to stay in bed; they should be up to work by the end of two weeks. But if it is a ease where it was urgent for them to be back to business, three to five days would be sufficient to stay in the hospital before returning to light work. The convalescence is painless and uneventful. Red, itching, Skin -chapped hands -blotches on the face -scalp irritation -all are cured by • 0.01000 ra05'1`'c''}. TRADE MARK 0EGI$TEREO, SKIN SOAP It heals as it cleans. A medicinal and toilet soap combined, Soothing and antiseptic. Elegantly perfumed, In- valuable for babies, to keep the delicate skin clear and smooth. eye a ake—ol druggists or sent on receipt d price. The Chendate Co, of Canada, I,Imitd Hamilton. 54 Sure of His Mother. "Now, Jamie; said a school teacher 91 there were only one pie for dessert and there were five of you children and papa and mamma 'in divide it among, how large a piece would you get?" "One-sixth," replied ,Jeanie, promptly "But there would be seven people there, Jamie. Don't you know how many times &even goes into one?" "Yes'm. And I know my mother. She'd say she wasn't hungry for pie that day. I'd get one-sixth" •.• Minard's Liniment Lumbermen's Friend. Point Not Well Taken. "I observe," said the editor of the magazine, looking over the manuscript that had been submitted to him by the aspiring author thereof, "that you have used the phrase, "lean holm.' How can there be such a thing as a 'lean'houd?" "Why not?" demanded the other, "There is such a thing as a spare mom- ent, isn't there?" I'Y O H Mange, Prairie Scratches and every form of contagious Bah en bunion or animals cured 1n lib minutes by Woltord'e Sanitary Lotion, It never falls. Sold by dreggists, Improvement. "I think we ought to go in for the town beautiful. Any improvement that you eouid recommends" "I would suggest that you remove the Clark pants which have filled the broken pane in your parlor window all winter and substitute a discarded shirt waist or something summery"- Louisville Cour- ier-Journal, ----.►.e.-_.Y� The estimated cost of a bridge over the straits of Dover fa 834,000,000. A Punishable Offence. Captain -If I ale your face • in my house again I shall slap it. Noble Foreigner-Ah1 bat it ec; n punishable' offence. Captain -Of course it is. That is why I want to .slap i.t,-Cbieago ,Journal. Miserable All The Time? Dull headaches -back aches -low spirited -hate the sight of food -don't sleep well -all tired. out in the morning -no heart for work? GIN PILLS will melte you well Your kidneys are affected -either through over- work, exf#osure or disease, It is the Kidneys that are making you feel so wretched. Gin Pills cure sick kidneys -make you well and strong -give you all • your old time energy and vitality. Cheer up -and take Gin Pills, Sec, a boa --b for $2.5o. Sent ole receipt of price if your dealer does not handle than. BOLE DRUG CO. • WINNIPEG, MAN. N 9 YEARS BAD LEG. HEALED BY 'LAM•BUK. Mr. 0 Johnson of Poplar hill Creek, Alhnba et handing, Alta,, says: "About nine teals ago o running sore commenc- ed ou my right leg caused by a rup- tured blood•veseel. As time went on it got worse and nnv sufferings - were m tee, r 1 had n very sure lel indeed, and had very small hopes of ever seeing it healed, in fact 1 was told by several who had known such sores that I would suffer with it for life.. Whet: I was al- most in deepnir 1 heard 01 ZaireBulr and commenced using it: Other salves 1 had used caused me much suffering, but ZaneBuk soothed the pain, and although it appeared for some time to be doing 00 good, yet I persevered, and as soon as the w iuud became clean, it was only a matter of three or four days before it was healed." Zeit-Bak cures cute, bursts, pimples, ulcers, ringworm, itch, tiles, nursing sates, blood poieon, and all skin diseases. All "stores and druggists, 60e box, or from Zam .Buk Co,, Toronto. •.• Catch Trout in Orchards, Game Wardon Thomas Mullen, of Yakima county. has called the sportsmen of this dig - Mot together to devise some way of pro- tecting the game fish whloh are now being slaughtered to thousands by being eternized ou the orchards and alfalfa fields horn the Mal gat] on ditches. The trout and salmon enter the ditches and then turn oft Into the laterals, inane end- ing their life in the grass where the water has played out and left them. Attorney .Ed- ward Parker a few days ago caught a six Pound rainbow in his pear orchard. Clinton &bniau found several trout In his orchard and numerous others have reported almiltor Gads Small boys catch long strings of sanall trout by scooping them from the pools with their hands. Game Warden Mullen fla10 that in some seotions of the valley : the ranchers who want fish angle far them In the irrigation ditches in preference to the streams, the ditches befog more accessible mad the water slower and therefore better.— North Yakima' correspondence Seattle Post- Intelligencer. .. e Minard'a Liniment Co., Limited: I was very nick with Quinzy and thought I would strangle. I used MIN- ARP'S LINIMENT and it cured me at once. I am never without it now. Yours gratefully, MRS. C. P. PRINCE. Nauwige'wauk, Oct, 21. Part of the Treatment, "I believe," said I)r. John M. Kitchen, "I VMS the first physician in northern Indiana to make use of cloroform. I was a young fellow, not mush past 21 yore old, the ink hardly dry on my sheepskin, when a man came Into my office to have an aching tooth pulled out: . I had a small' bottle of chloroform, and with the hardihood of youth I made up my mind to use It. He readily went under, the influence of the new anaesthetic, I pulled manfully and the grinder came out, I wait- ed, but the patient did. not return to con- sciousness. I was badly tre1ghtened, and hastily seising a bucket with about two gal- lons of water in It I poured 11 over pian. Gasping, be came out front the influence of the chloroform. Then he wanted to know what I meant by giving him such a soaking. "Mustering all my professional sang frond I calmly replied: "That, Ale, Is a part of the treatment," and be wont away, greatly to my relief, entirely sad stled.-Indlanapolle NOWA. • WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE From October to May, Colds are the most frequent cause at headache. 14AXk12VE BROMO QUININE removes cause. E. W. Grove on. box, Me, se• Problem in Political Economy, "It's no use," said the young man with heavy rimmed eyeglasses. "I can't get this political economy straight." "What's the trouble?" asked the pro- fessor. "I can't discover whether a lot of peo- ple go broke because we have hard times or whether we have hard times because a lot of people go broke." --Washington Star, PiLES CURED iN 6 TO 14 DAYS PAZO to cure any case et Itf ch ng,, Blind, Bleediis ng or Protrud- ing Piles in 6 to 14 days or money refunded, 60a, •- Crime. In making his way stealthily through the back yard to the window be intend- ed to enter the burglar found his pro- gress impeded by several lengths of clotheslines stretching from fence to fence, from which depended a formidable array of sheets, pillow cases, undergar- ments, and other evidences that it had been a day of activity in the basement laundry. Relayed by a wash out!" he mutter- ed, stooping down and crawling along, on bis hands and knees. Minard'a Liniment used by Physicians. Centre of the Stage, The playwrights over their supper of lobster and champagne boasted. "I," said the greatest of theist, with a complacent glance at the two pure pearls in his shirtfront, "decree the col- or of every actress' frock." 'That is carrying the regard for detail too far," said a playwright who had failed. "Not a bit of it," said the other, "If I didn't decide on the color of the dress- es the stage manager would. Why, that must always be done. Otherwise, in their avermastering desire to draw all eyes to themselves every actress would wear bright red. In my first play the frocks were forgotten in the general ex- citement, and at the first dress rehear- sal all six actresses came on in the die- clvery scene in ecarlct gowns."-Phila' detphia Bulletin. STRENGTH OF GLASS.i Harder to figure Than That of Many Other Substances. Glass is not a substance that we can figure the strength 01 its we can a greet many others things with which we are familiar, says the Scientific .4n erienn. It varies greatly in itself. The' strongest glass, as a rule, breaks into the greatest number of fragments. Comparing the strength of thin glass with thick, the former is relatively th'• stronger; this is a thing very of- ten lost sight of. Then, again, as to the difference between rough plate and polished plate, we find polished piste the stronger. This is perhaps to bo attributed to the fact that all these very fine surface hair cracks ar; polished out. These only go into the glass to a certain depth and when they are all or nearly all polished and ground off, there is less chance for some of them to form the basis of a crick, and thereby the glass is in- creased in strength. Tests have been made and some formulae have been arrived at. As was to bo expected, they show very irregular results as to the strength of glass. Black Watch What Was Lacking. A man who had served two terms in Congress was making o. campaign for a third term. In the course of a speech in the Town hall at Broomcorn Junction, a village near the further boundaryof Isis district, he said: "It is true, fellow citizens, that I have not always been able to do as much as I should like in the matter of internal improvements in this district, but I have never lost sight of your interests for a Bingle moment, You have no idea of the obstacles that lie in the way of a Olon- gresaman who tries to secure appropria- tions for public buildings, the improve- ment of navigable streams and the like for the benefit of his constituents, but I want to assure you, fellow cititene, that I have labored constantly in your behalf to the very best of my ability" "We know it!" ehotted an old farmer In the audience, "That's why we want an abler man." -Youth's Companion. ENGLISH SPAVIN LINIMENT re' moves all bard, soft and calloused lumps and blemishes from horses, 11001 spavin, curbs, splints, ringbone, sweeney, stifles, sprains, sore and swollen throat, coughs, ate, Save $50 by use of one bottle. Warranted the most wonderful blemish Cure ever known. Sold by druggists. ••• Out of Date. The time had cone when devotees no longer sought to cast thentaelvee under the wheels of the ear of Juggernaut, ' "Why this lack of zeal?" asked the scoffers. "What's the use?" said the devotees, "No matter how hard we try, our lum- bering old ice wagon can't compete with the deadly automobiles!" From whish we learn that even among the ancients the scorching chauffeur was a discourager of piety. Ask for Minard'a and take no other. Star Flits Away. The. boy stood on the bridge of a schooner beside the captain on a starry night. It suddenly became necessary for the captain to go below, and he said to the boy: "Here, take the wheel. I'll be back in a feta minutes. Steer by that star and you will be all right" The boy began to steer the boat, and soon he got her out of her course. The star now astern instead of ahead. He shouted doyen to the captain: "Iii, skipper, come up and find us'rn- other star. I've passed that one!" - Philadelphia Record. •,• Seep Minard's Liniment in the house. • Uncle Jerry. "It's no trouble," remarked Uncle Jerry Peebles, "for a man in this cli- mate to get a reputation as a prophet. All he has to do is to look wine and pre- •_• Cold Storage. Hook -I understand he married a cool million. Cook -Yes; but he's complaining now because he hasn't been able to thaw out any of ft. -Illustrated Bits. ISSUE NO. 22, 1908 AGENTS WANTED. SALESMEN WANTED FOR "AL'TO- /.7 Spray" Hast hand sprayer made. Com- pressed air; automatic. Liberal terms. Cav- ors Bras, Galt. Ont. COIN THAT DOESN'T RING. Not Always a Counterfeit -May Have Only a Small Cavity in It. Gold coins which do not ring aro not. always counterfeits, ttceoding to Oper- ative themes 11. Foster, in charge of the United Stafne Secret Service work for tide district. He demonstrated that fact at the polite station yesterday, and. as a result Aimee Sykes, alias Gera O'Gara, will be charged with stealing $5 in lawful money of the United States. from one William McGarrlty. Me woman was arrested Tuesday night by City Detectives H, C. Adam* and F. W, (Hark on complaint by lic- Garrity. The $6 gold piece supposed to have been stolen was found on het and was held as evidence, Clerk Billy Kent dropped the gold piece on the desk at the elation and it fell like a piece of lead. There was absolutely no ring to it, Operative Foster was called in; with a view of capturing a band of counter- feiters. "Just as good as any coin ever turn- ed out at the mint," said the Secret Service man, after he had examined the coin, 1It is very probably that there is a small cavity in this coin, That hap. pens very often and glvee a great deal of trouble. When the ingots from wtilch these coins are made are east at the mint air bubbles get into them some- times. When the metal is rolled out U. anti the coins are made the bubble sometimes stays there, and there is no ring to such a coin." -Seattle Post In- telligencer. •0• PPS CURED AT HOME BY NEW ABSORPTION METHOD If you suffer from bleeding, itching„ blind or protruding Piles, send ono your address, and I will tell you how to cure yourself at home by the new absorption 4 treatment; and will also send some of this home treatment free for trial, with references from your own looality if requested. Immediate relief and per tf moment cute assured, Send no moaDey, but tell others of this offer. Write to- -1/4- day -dap to Mrs. M. Summers, Box P. 8, Windsor, Ont. Greedy Little Salmon. Little creatures may be very greedy and yet not be able to cat much because of their size, as was illustrated, for in- stance, In the case of a batch of about 20,000 lithe Chinook salmon that were hatched out at the Aquarium. These young fishes, each about two inches long, would eat so much that their little stomachs fairly stuok out, end yet to feed the whole 20,000 took daily only one pound of liver and a quart of herring roe, both chopped fine. 4t• Publicity, makes a product noted, quality bangs fame, "Salads" Tea is both noted and famous. A New Kind of Play. Mabel saw a fly buzzing on the wiz, dowpane. "Mamma,' mall the little girl, "won't you please come and see wheth- er this is a bosom fly?" Mamma -A bosom fly? I don't under- stand you, dear. Mabel -Don't you know the kind we sang about in Sunday School last time "Let me to thy bosom -fly." PERfL T OUST BERifR. Free to llousekeepers W. V001050171wwk..per to Dere. Pen foot n..a.ale,. s,.r7 home Wall It e,atr d.11. aood,de of tenlmooioa. To Intrduc. 1114 VIII .sea • NOV aoose5,el6 aece.dy of .mast ,One anti Arse Premises. Bead 41 moo, stomp, or moony orae. THE OXFORD SUPPLY CO., Dost. Ck. Woodstock, Ont. in Yellow Journalism. "Man to see you." "What docs he want?" "Wants you to talcs hack something which was printed in yest,srday's paper, "Tell him it will not lie neoesaary for him to come in; we've already taken back everything we printed yesterday." smart Set. ••• AN EXOEPrION. Evelyn --Some our proverbs are so rt lona. For instance, "Where ignorance ip Dike—" Ethel-V,'0at'o the matter now? b}velyn-Wby, you know, Fred gave me en engagement ring lent weal, and I sing can't find out how much 1t cost h1n1. • - The Eddy Crmp 1 is a New Wrinkle in the way of Crimping the Zinc in Washboards. It makes the Washing Process very much easier, and it insures few Destroyed Linens when the Washing is over. Like Eddy's Matches—it has been Proven the best ever. To be had only in EDDY'S WASH OARDS 1