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Clinton New Era, 1894-11-16, Page 3wawa, MUSICAL EXCELLENCE; ARTISTIC DESIGN DURABLE CONSTRUCTION CASAroovEs Sear FREE on ArrLrcAreoN. Morris-Feild -Rogers-Co LISTOWEL. SHORT STORIES RETOLD. A passenger who escaped uninjured from a serious railway smash, seeing a fellow -traveller searching anxiously among the wreckage with a lantern, offered to assist in the search, and thinking the old man had lost his wife, asked in sympathetic tones, "What part of the train wasshe in?" Raising his lantern and glaring at the kindly disposed passenger, the old man shout- ed with indignant distinctness that tri- umphed over physical infirmity, "She, sir! she! I am looking for my teeth!" General Bourbaki, $during the Aust- ro -French war in 1859, used a spy in a novel manner. "You are a spy!" said the General when the ' fellow was brought before him. "Si, Signor,"was the answer. "And yo a are sent by the Austrians!" "Si, Signor." "Very well," was the remark. Then turning to an aide-de-camp, "Take him around our positions, and show him everything, and" this to the spy—"when you have seen all you want to see go back to those Who sent you and tell them, with "tasr t oznplitgente, that I am waiting for them."' A young Yorkshireman joined the 91th Rifles some time ago, and in one year and ""`never} months' service, through breaking leave and general in- subordination, he passed 13 months in gaol. The colonel at last determined to give him his discharge. He was brought into the office and placed be- fore his commanding officer. After being severely spoken to by the colonel for his past conduct, he saluted and asked if he might be allowed to speak. "Yes," said the officer, "and be sharp about it." "Please, sir," replied the >r►an, "when shall I come for my pen- sion?" There is a story told of the Duke of Northumberland, who, in spite of -his vaet wealth, is very ��unaffected an simple in his life: Whenever he tr on a railway he usually takes third-class ticket, to the indignation o the railway officials. Upon a day the determined to bt eak him off this fruga habit, and they filled his compartmen with chimney sweeps carrying bags soot. When the Duke arrived at hi destination he took the sweeps to th booking office and bought them each first class ticket back again and pu one. in each first class carriage, sack and. all. A little girl who had a foolish habit of plain -speaking was taken to the sewing circle with her mother. On en- tering the room, after exchanging greetings with several matrons of her acquaintance, Miss Truthful walked up to another lady, and in the confident tones of one who gives utterance to a self-evident fact, she said, loudly enough for everyone present to hear: "Why, Mrs Handley, how homely you are !" While the victim was hiding her confusion as best she might, and the rest were trying hard to conceal their amusement, the young lady her- self was hastily taken from the room. Once in the hall she was dealt with somewhat severely, and made to feel the enormity, of her unintentional rudeness. Then she was taken back to apologize. Walking straight up to Mrs Handley, while all the ladies held their breath to listen, she said, with trembling tones, and with tears still upon her cheeks : "Mrs Handley, I'm sorry you're so homely !" An English doctor, attached to the court of a rajah, made himself almost indispensable to his highness. He had, fortunately, also made a friend of his prime minister. On one occasion his highness, being slightly indisposed, had taken, by the doctor's advice, a seidiitz powder:with which he express- ed himself delighted. Its tendency to "boil and fizz ready to blow your• nose off" seemed to him to scatter coolness," and he seemed so much bet- ter after taking it that the doctor felt himself justified in joining a hunting party. Presently a horseman from the palace, in the confidential employment of the grand vizer, galloped up to him. "My master bids me tell you," he said, "that his highness has broken open your medicine chest and taken, first, all the white powders, and then all the blue." "Gracious goodness," cried the doctor, "there were twenty-three of each of them I" "My master adds," continned the messenger, dropping h's voice, "that you had better make for the frontier without one moment's de- lay." The doctor put spurs to his horse and never drew rein till he was "out of the jurisdiction of the court." IT'S ASTONISHING MONEEYDOM, Not long age I was watching a Vau- deville performance. A certain "Pro, feasor" carne on the stage with a. troupe f perforatingmonkeys, 1 was so oharined that 1 left my seat and begg- ed permission to go back of the scenes to get a closer view of the little fel- lows, They looked very fanny, sitting there with, their little red and blue jackets on, and one of them reached out and tried to untie my shoelace as I went lay. The rofessor saw I was interested in them, and came over to' me. "Hew did you teach them?" said I, for they seemed almost humus, and I wondered if they really understood, English. "Do you ever have certain signs for them to follow, or do they understand what you say?" "They understand every word I tell them," said the Professor. "After I have had a 'monk' long enough for him to get used to me he soon learns to understand pretty well." "Is it easy to train monkeys?" I asked. "It is a long process," said the Pro- fessor, "and one has to understand them very well to do anything with them. All of these monkeys were wild at one time in the African jungle. There are very few monkeys raised in captivity. If it were not for that, I think a monkey could be taught al- most anything. It takes some time to tame them, and it has to be done by kindness and patience. The monk gets so, after awhile, that he under- stands a good deal. "Now, said he, turning to a box with a wire covering, "this contains a mock that I bought yesterday, and I will show you how easy it is to teach hila to sit up in a chair and read a paper, with a pair of glasses on his nose." He held the new monkey in the position he desired on the chair, and after several attempts to get down, the monkey found he had to stay there un- til his master wanted to let him down. After five minutes of this, during which time the Professor kept saying, "Sit down in the chair, sirl" the mon- key was allowed to rest a few minutes; then the Professor took the chaii, and placing it before the monkey, \said, "Sit down in the chair, sir!" To my surprise the monkey remembered, and backing up to the chair, took up his position. t was easy enough then to place the It, on his nose and make him hold a newspaper. • ALL MEN Young, old or middle-aged, who find them- selves nervous, weak and exhausted, who are broken down from excess or over -work, resulting in many of the following symp. tome :—Mental depression, premature old age, loss of vitality, loss of memory, bad dreams, dimness of eight, palpitation of the heart, emissions, lank of energy, pain in the kidneys, headaohe, pimples on the face and body, itching or peculiar sensation about the scrotum, wasting of the organa, dizzi, nese, specks before the eyes, twitching of d the muscles, eyelids and elsewhere, bash- a- fulness, deposits in the urine, loes of will a f fruga t o e e a t 9 how Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription acts upon nervous women. It's a marvelous remedy for nervous and general debility, Chorea, or St. Vitu's Dance, Insomnia, or Inability to sleep, spasms, convulsions, or "fits," and every like disorder. Even in cases of insanity resulting from functional derangements, the persistent use of the "Prescription" will, by restoring the natural functions, generally effect a cure. For women suffering from any chronic "female complaint" or weakness; for wo- men who are run-down or overworked; at the change from girlhood to womanhood; and, later et the critical "change of life"— It is a medioine that safely and certainly builds up, strengthens, rognlatea, and cares. If it doesn't, if it ever fade to benefit or cure, yon have your money back. What more can any one ask? Is anything that isn't sold in this way likely to be "foot as good? Children'ftyfor Pitcher's Castor -tri. power, ten erness of the eoaip and spine, weak and flabby muscles, desire to Bleep, failure to be rested by sleep, constipation, dullness of hearing, lose voice, desire for solitude, excitability of temper, sunken eyes, surrounded with LEADEN enters, oily looking skin, eto., are all symptoms of ner- vous debility, that lead to insanity, unless cured. The spring or vital force having lost its tension, every function wanes in consequence. Those who through abuse committed --in ignorance, may be perma- nently cured. Send your address and 10e iii stamps for book on diseases peculiar to man, sent sealed. Address M. V. LUBO1 , 24 Maodonnell Ave., Toronto, Ont., Canada. Phase mention this paper. HERE, THERE AND EVERY WHERE. It is expected that Dwight L. Moody will go to Japan to do missionary work for six months. The police authorities at Munich or- der all persons to close the windows while playing on pianos. Lord Rosebery recently cut a Cabinet meeting short in order that he might he with his little daughter on her 15th birthday. He is a devoted father. Dr. Jas. R. Cooke, a successful Bos- ton physician, is perhaps the only man in the States who, though blind from infancy took up the study of medicine and excelled in its practice. John H. Parnell, a brother of the. late Irish leader, is operating a factory at Cork to supply the large demands for furze sticks in the United States and Great Britain. A shipment of 10,- 000 sticks was made to America sever- al days ago and the business has every sign of prosperity. The Manchester Canal is still far from being a financial or commercial suc- cess. Its earnings in September were only $29,315, a trifle more than in August, although the tonnage increas- ed from 85,302 to 90,243 tons. Rates on "merchandise in seagoing vessels" dropped 171 per cent. At present fig- ures the canal would have to carry over 4,000,000 tons a year to acquire sufficient revenue to meet debenture interest alone. Several interesting articles and geo- logical formations have been found during work in the tunnel under the Thames from Greenwich to Blackwell. At a depth of 70 feet below the surface is a stratum of rocks composed entire- ly of sea shells and chalk. The pres- ence of oyster shells at the sarne depl.h shows that the bed of the river was once 70 feet below its present level. On the south side, about 130 yards from the river, a few lignites and iron pyrites were found at the bottom of the clay strata. Elephants' tusks and human and animal bones have also been among the "finds." Last May Queen Victoria visited Manchester for three hours to open the new ship canal. The bills for the celebration, amounting to $50,000, are being now investigated. Among the items is one of $7,000 for badges fr r the city council. At the banquet they ate strawberries at 31.40 a pound, as- paragus at $1 a bunch, and pine -apples at $3 apiece. It cost $110 to look after the Queen's horses and carriages. The auditor reported that it looked as though something else had been open- ed besides the canal. Edward Hales, living in Toronto,wns working on a building and while look - in upward swallowed some wire nails which he had in his mouth. One of the nails lodged in his throat, and an operation will have to he performed, before it can be removed. THE CLINTON NEW ERA GRANDMOTHER'S POWs) T, R Dear grandmother's pooket! how well I remember How useful it wise, both oapaoiouaand deep. What good things, what odd things, and tbiugs without number. I saw in that pocket, at every sly peep. If., Tom, wbo loved whittling far better. than spelling, E'er chanced with his jack-knife to dam- age his thumb, In less than a twinkling and all without belling, From grandmother's pooket a plastor,would oomel If I!'anny or Lefty, or Mary or Kitty Was minue a button on gown or on shoe, No need of a wearisome trip to the city; In grandmother's pooket the article grew! When Benjie, the pet, for his friend's ad- miration His ill-shapen kite from the wood -shed would bring, 'Twee grandmother offered the sole adu- lation, 'Twee grandmother's pocket that furnished the string! If any were dumpish, or any in trouble, If playmates were peaty, or things went awry, If none to make pease in the household were able, Dear grandmother's pooket a balm could supply! 0 blest is the home where a 'grandmother dwelleth, Undaunted by ills and unruffled by noisel With bousltiful hands and a pooket that swelleth With balsam and cheer for the girls and theboysl There is good sleighing in Winnipeg. Tuberculosis is said to be very pre- valent among cattle cn Vancouver island, B.C. Archie Campbell, a Cypress River, Man„ farmer, was kicked to death by a horse on Wednesday. The officers of the Kingston peniten- tiary have not heard anything about Angus Macdonald, who escaped re- cently. NOT A BAD YARN. The following is not new, but is worth preserving. It is said to have been the prayer offered up by a disap- pointed Scotchman shortly after reach- ing Canada : "0 Lord, we Thy disobe- dient children approach Thee this nicht i' the attitude o prayer (an likewise o' complaint). When we cam' tae Cana- dy, we expectit tae fin' a Ian' flowin' wi' milk and honey. Instead o' that we fund a place people wi' ungodly Irish. Scoor them oot; drag them ower the mooth o' the bottomless pit; but ye needna let them drap in, drive them to the uttermost pairts o' Canady rather, make them hewers o' wud an' drawers o' water; but, 0 Lord, ne'er mak' them magistrates, members o' parliament, nor any kind o' rulers ower the people. An', 0 Lord, gine ye hue got any lam' tae gie awe' gie it tae thine ain peculiar people, the Scotch. An' the glory will be all thine ain—Amen." Attention In time to . any irregularity of the Stomach, Liver, or Bowels may prevent serious consequences. Indigestion, costiveness, headache, nau- sea, bilious. ness, and ver- tigo indicate certain func- tional derange- ments, the best remedy for which is Ayer's Pills. Purely vege- table, sugar-coated, easy to take and quick to assimilate, this is the ideal family medicine --the most popular, Bate, and useful aperient in phar- macy. Mrs. M. A. BROCKWELL, Harris, Tenn., says: ".Ayer's Cathartic Pills cured me of sick headache and my husband of neuralgia. We think there is No Better Medicine, and have Induced many to use it. "Thirty -vivo years ago this Spring, T v-ae run down by hard work and a succes.,1 , ,,f colds, which made me so feeble that it was an effort for me to walk. I consulted tho doctors, but kept sinking lower until I had given up all hope of ever being better. happening to be In a store, one day, where medicines were sold, the proprietor noticed my weak and sickly appearance, and, after a few questions as to my health, recom- mended me to try Ayer's Pills. I had little faith in these or any other medicine, but . concluded, at last, to take his advice and try n box. Before I had used them all, I was very much better, and two boxes cured me. I am now 80 years old; hut I believe that if it had not been for .Ayer's Pills, I should have been in my grave long ago. I buy 6 boxes every year, which make 210• boxes up to this time, and I would no more be with- out them than without bread."—li. II. Ingraham, Roci:lam!, Me. AVER'S PILLS Prepared by Dr..J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Maia Every Dose Effective POWDERS Cure SIC"' HEADACHE and Neuralgia in 20 MINUTIA'S,also Coated Tongue Dizzi- ness, Biliousness, ain in the Side, Constipation, Torpid Liver, Bad Breath. to stay oared also regulate the bowels. VERY N1011 TO TAMIL PRroa 25 CEINTS T °RUC smites. Ma's Broody for Catarrh Is the Beat; Easiest to Deo, and Cheapest. Ge\T'f\I? R H hold irf Dru&gtetd or sent by maw no. a. T, 1BaMeltlne, Warue. Pa FROM RAM'S HORN. Ciod never fails to promote the faith- ful worker. Only when God horrors us are we truly exalted. It is much harder to be happy with riches than it is without them. It is only when weive Christ our burdens that we eau take his yore. Doing well never make us fit for hea- ven, but not doing may keep us out. Tright, e no matter wld hat is towcomerll of it. Write the ein of the heart on the forehead and who will love the light? Find a man whom men love, and you will find one who has first loved men. Nothing is to be gained by talking of heaven to a man who worships money. beent lsdrivenful backt f an ae n has ever star preaching. While he was thinking of how the rabbit should be cooked, another man shot it. Every man who is carrying any kind of a burden is invited to give it to Christ. ONLY AN INCIDENT. Railroad travel has its pathetic no less than its humorous aspects. In a slow train the other day sat a worn looking, shabbily dressed man with an infant in his arms. The little one was wrapped in an old lace shawl, and the ribbon about its waist and in its cap had evidently been placed there by un- skilled hands. It seemed contented as it fed from its bottle, and from time to time the man pressed it close to him and looked in its face with dimmed, tender eyes. A woman with a kind face, who sat near, made a remark about the beauty of the child, and the father looked up with a pathetic smile. "Yes, ma'am, she is pretty. She's like her mother. That makes it hard- er to part from her. Since her mother was taken I've tried to raise her my- self. But I had to go to work every day and leave her with a neighbor, She didn't get the care she needed, and I couldn't pay for better, so I'm taking her to my sister, but I don't know how I can stand it without her. It's a lonely thing for a man when he's done his work to know there's nothing to go home to." And then he buried his head on the baby's, and it was a long time before he looked up again. TAMWORTH PIGS. For pure bred Tamworth pigs o1 both sexes, apply to Geo. Baird Sr. Clinton, or on lot 21, 2nd Con. Stanley. The pigs are sir months old on November 10th. GEORGE BAIRD, 9R. Thoroughbred Berkshire Boar. Subscriber and Con. of Hallel tta thoroughbs for service at red Beris kshire boar. Terme 111 at time of service, with rivilege of returning if necessary. HENRY FREEMAN. Berkshire Boar for Service. Stib Berk- shire soribr Boar, raised by tfor he well-known a thorobred Bock - breeders -Snell Bros, of Edmonton. Terms $1, rY paid at time of 41.25 if ooked. WILLIAM SNELL, Gravel road, Hullett. CHESTER WHITE BOAR. Subscriber keeps for servioo at bis premises, lot 26l,Con. 13,Hullett, a pure tlloro-bred Cheater White',goar, with good pedigree; (has taken drat prize at fairs) Terms, 11 at time of service, with privilege of returning, if necessary. JOHN GARRETT, yr. Berkshire Boar for Service.. loSubscriber, 9 onkeeps r . of Hullett, athorat sn bredBerkshire boar, purchased from Rogerson Bros., of Hallett. returning,Terrns ' at if nese narfservice, . with privilege Berkshire Pigs for Sale and for Service. Forsale,six thoro-bred Birkehire boars, eligible for registraption, aged 31 months,will be soldoheap. AlsoYorkshire eBoar;for salso a regisan sttered, dT registeredworth. Terms 51 at time of service, with privilege of re- turning. JOHN HOARE, Auburn, lot 28, 2nd con., East Wawanosh. Poland China Pig For Sale. A number of boars and sows, of all ages, rang, ing from 6 weeks to 6 months of age; sired by Elect 496,a boar that has never been beaten in a show ringyet. His Sire Eleoted 8878 before being far the rstprl e, also sweepson at takes fore na atate the beat boar and five of his get, and in 1892 he won the 1st prize at Toronto and London shows; several of the above young boars 6 months old have beep prize winners this fall also the sows. All sae eligible for registration and will be sold cheap. Address W. W. FISHER, Benmilley Ont. S. WILSON, GENERAL DEALER IN TiNWARE HURON STREET, CLINTON Repairing of all kinds promptly attended to reasonable rates. A trial solictled. SPECULATORS Reg INVESTORS DAILY MARKETsEND LETFOR OUR TER AND ILLUSTRAT- ED PAMPLETS ON SPECULATION, mailed fres on application, and ()I crate success• fully in Wall street. Stocks Bonds, Grain, Provisions and Cotton be,,ght and sold for Cash or on a margin of from 3 to v per cont. COMMISSION 1.16 per Cont. Special Attention Paid to Directionary accounts. comta7iPONDHNcE 9o5idMPID. Direct Wire from our Oleo to all Western Union offices in the United Status, Bank references. 17ETeiti.no.ai,. & Co., Stock and Grain Brokers. No. 21. Broadway, NEW YORK CITY. oURF 00 NSTI PATI ©N, GeILIOUSNESS, DY' PPS4 IA SICK IIE:EADACIA E U LATE THE SIV ONEPiLLAF`i"ER EATiNe' INSURES 000D DIGESTION. PRICE25 CrS,T 11008. ' a' 1.1' CASTORIA ,for leant* and Children �H>�'!'Y year■' obwrlatlicn of Castaria with Vas i► aaillie+ss of , , as, , t as to . of it without may - It is a>.n?arstiansW;r the best xymiedy for Intuits sired Miami the world has over known. It is harmiless. Chfldrest Ilko It. 11 Laves thew health. It will save their fives. In it Wawa, haws something which is absolutely sate and praotbitnuer .et ae n child's medfeine. Castoria destroys Worms. Castoria allays Feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd. Castoria cures Diarrhoea and Wind Celia Castoria relieves Teething Troubles. Castoria cures Constipation and Flatulency. Castoria neutralises the effects of oarbonie acid gas or poisonous ail. Castoria doss not contain morphine,oopium, or other narcotic Castor's assimilates the food, regulates the stomach and bonelet giving healthy and natural /sleep. Caatoria fhi put up in one-sise bottles only, It is not sold inibnik. Don't allow any one to sell you anything else on the plea or proms :Oat it is "Just au good" and "will answer every purpose." See that you fret The tato-simile aigaater* of L ��j..y�-�• � is ea. every Children Cry for Pitcher's Castor_la. isoommisaummrwNoma . - CASH IS KING And when banked by low prices, always wins. Having bought our goods strictly for Cash, Thus saving the Discount and having no bad acconnte on our Books, we claim that by doing Cash Business we ere in a position to give you better value than any onein the trade. We WANT YOUR trade, we want it because we need it, because it is onr way of making a living. We sell for Cash be- Eoanee our judgment says that it is the bee t method to accomplish our purpose. Our Stook is entirly new, no shelf worn goods, but every- thing in the Ettore Fresh and Clean. CROCKERY DEPARTMENT -- BARGAINS TO REMEMBER 118 BY — 97 Pieces Dinner Sets for a 16.96 44 PiecesOhmsTea Bets for $5.76, 16, 16.21, 16.50 nP 44 Pismo Stone China Bete for Bed room Seto from 6•$1.25,112,12.50 up Call and see oar assortment of Fancy China, we will be pleased to show our goods, whether you buy or net. Farm produce taken as Dash.—Telephone No. 23. OGLE COOPER & CO. Cash Grocery 1 floor North of News.IRZetwrd. Modern1' Featherbon.e Cbrset„l mast not . be confoundedwith those which were made five or six years ago.! The Featherbone Corset of to -day' is as far removed from the old style, as black is from white. ' BUY A PAIR AND YOU WILL BE PLEAS Hub Grocery mai Tea Just arrived, a consignment of the celebrated BEE BRAND TEA, put in half pound and pound packages. This is the only package 'Tee. get- up where it is grown. The Bee Bran& Yea is grown in the Palamdotto Gardens, Ceylon, and is no mixture, but a pure Tea of very fine flavor and strength, This Tea took the first plaoo at the Wolld's Fair, Chicago. We have the sole agenoy for this town. Come and get a sample and try it. F OPV ALI.0 W, - Clinton • e People Must 'IAi . •. yaw , And in order to do so they want the very beet they tan get. Wo have anticipated their desire by purchasing the ohoioest GROCERIES, TEAS, SUG ASS, • CANNED GOODS, !FRUITS, &c. Having had s5 years experience, think we know the wants of the people pretty:well. Our stock embraces everything found in a first-class grocery, and we will not be undersold. We have a Beautiful Assortment of FANCY GLASSWAUE atici CROCKERY. Special Cuts on SUGARS and TEAS in larketAtt J. W. Irwin, MACKAY BLOCK, -- - sea CLINTO - • •• ' ' " TRE SMALL END OF' NOTHING., Is necessarily small. Just so small are the .benefits to be deriv ing some so called "Business College." The from atleritl ts Forest City Business 86 Shorthand College, of Lo idoo on the contrary is noted for the practical Character . of its work. Iron used something, practical, why not correspond With ea 'at once. 4 J. W. WI TER V*L'T, tl tricit�a>I, • ..meta •a •