The Huron News-Record, 1889-12-18, Page 7Ligestio►x
ifS not only a. dietreeeing camplaidi;of
Melts •butt by cau.ing the, blood to
beeeele depraved, and the syttteRA.en,
leebled,, is the ,parent pt lnaumerable
Maladies. That Ayer's. Sarsapartllgt
is the beet MVO for Indigestion, even
When.,compltated,WlthLiiver Complaint,
is provedby11 On
tho follgwing testim y
frofn Mrs. Joseph Lake, of Brockway
Centre, Mich.4-r",
"Liver .complaint and indigestion
made my life a.. burden and came near
ending my existence. For more than
four years I suffered untold agorayr, was
reduced almost'to a skeleton, and hardly
had strength to drag myself about. 'All-
kinda.01 od distressed me and only
the most delicate could be digested at
all,, Within the time mentioned several
physicians id Ztood ltt,ng tat ks egiving
to do
any
permanent good until I commenced,
the use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla, which
has produced wonderful results. Soon
after commencing to take the Sarsapa-
rilla I could see an improvement in my
condition. My appetite began to return
and with it came the ability to digest
' all the food taken, my strength im-
proved each day. and after a few
months of faithful attention to your
directions. I found myself a well
woman, able to attend to all household
duts. The medicine has given me a
new lease of life." •
Ayer's Sarsaparilla,
PREPARED DI
Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Male.
! Price $1; six bottles, $5. Worth $6 a bottls-
The Huron News -Record
' 41.50 a Year -41.25 n Advance.
r 'I'hc ,nail does not do Justice to his business
who spends less in advertising than /de does in
rent.—A. 'r. STEWAa'r, the millionaire merchant
of New York.
'Wednesday. lice. 18th 1889
JUST FOR FUN.
"Clara, that horrid Mr. Slice has
just left. 1 do think he has a lying
tongue?" "I sh"uld't he surprised
1 know lee lits false teeth."
not itltagi;e ,what makes .gas Islam:
WO gray, 1 sometimes fancy 'reit
must be the ...hist» c of rosemary
with which my tuwid hail been, in
Ow haLit of brushing it. What
think you 7" "'1 should he afraid,
madame," i!.aidthe tl1.st1,nguisin*ll
.d'rsmatiHt, dryly, "diet it isthe
esseuse of thyme."
SI
ID 8 iC DRANK.
"Here's a health to Martin
nigan's aunt,
A;nd,1'll tell you the reason why—
She ate8 °bekase §he's hungry, °
And she drinks bakase she's dhry ;
If•she e'er saw a man
Stop the coorse of the can,
Martin 'Hannigan's aunt would
cry:—
'Arrah, fill up your glass
An' let the toast pass
How dy e know but your neighbor
dhry ?",
8HE. FOUND Hilt OUT.
Ere we were wed,
Whate'er Isaid
To her as truth would be received.
Had I her told
That bIass .was gold,
My faith I she would have it believed,
DOLOROUS.
▪ Love willt ;
go were aro it, is sen ,
At east, so say the scholars.
• But often love, I fear, is bent
Qn going where 'its dollars.
SPOT CASA.
'You must give Ole time, George,
to thick it over; it is all no strange,
so unexpected,' I will give you a
year's time if you wish it ; my love
for you., i4 great enough to bear il,at
straits 'Oh, I don't wont
give ale five urieutes.'
THAT SO:M.:THING ABOUT HER.
There's something attractive about
her;
It isn't her glance .or her styled,
It isn't her elegant smile :
But I'm poor and I can't live witheut
her,,
For that something attractive about
her,
You know, is the size of her pile.
A LURID REFLECTION.
a year,
Han -
But now since we
• Have comb to Le
Made one, there has a change occurr-
ed,
And laok.day!
Whate'er I say
She won't believe a single word.
The editor of the Kicker has all
6 inds of experiences. Ho says :—
The suit of ' the Widow Gibbs
ttgaiust ue for breach of prowtae,
datutges.$15,000,•came up in court
last Friday. The salt wait iust.ituted
Nix months ago by the court house
ring, which has sought our downfall
ever siuce the first issue of this paper.
That is, they put the widow up to
sue us, and have •advanced the
money as • it wan Herded. When
the widow was put oil the muted she
testified that on the night of Febu-
ary 21. 1887, we asked her to marry
us. She ineittted that the date was
correct, and that nothing could
change her mind about it. We then
exhibited the records of the jail to
prove tint on that day and night,
and on all next day and mixt night,
we were prisoner, having, 88 some of
our read stay remeuetYer, depart-
ed from the line of virtue and gone
on a bender. This exhibit knocked'
the widow out in the first round,
and donfouuded her supporters, and
we don't believe they will tackle us
again. after that fashion. As for
the widow, she. was only a cat's paw,
and we have sent to her house a
basket of groceries, a clothes line, a
set of cups and saucers and a sack
of flour, to prove that we have no
Malice.
Lady—What made you leave
your lastplace, Nora t Nora—
Shne P, the tnissis wuti efther wantin'
m'e tvr coot all' nee hair so she cud
make a switch av it ter match her
own, tier owld rid -kidded thing !
EYE AND THIS SEASONS.
In spring and summer, it is true,
And likewise hoary winter, too,
' The sun controls this earthly ball ;
But one who reads the Soripture
knows
That ancient volume plainly shows
'Tomas Eve, alas: who caused the
Fall. -
THE BOARDERS AND BRAZIL.
People who live in some ofrthe
Brooklyn boarding houses are deriv•
in solid coutforba, in reading the
'news from Brazilf the peaceable
revolution. There is general con-
currence of belief that it will make
coffee stronger.
THE SCUM ON TOP.
in politics they keep things hot,
Said James addressing John ;
When one pot's boiled, another
pot
Is speedily put on.
Yes, answers John to Joules, his
chum,
With laughter in his eyes,
And soon as boils the pot, the
r scum
Doth to the top arise.
CAUTIOUS CARR IE.
Young husband (very seriously)—
Carrie were 1 to die, could you bow
at once to the ineyitable with love
in your heart 1 Young Wife(medita-
tively)—Well, John, 1 might try ;
that is, 1 could bow to thein and
smile', hut it would not look well for
me to love one of them for a month
or so, would it 1
AS YOU LIKE IT.
FOR :RLI.
gre
A.. ed ene II
or men, to soli our Fruit Trees, 'hoses, Shrubs,
Ornamentals, etc. Per,naiaeirt En,rptor.
..tent. Write at once for terms, and secure
choice of territory. We eel!; only first-class stook,
handsome outfit free. AddresaMAY. $ROTI[.
EItt, NUt,erynien, Rochester, N.Y. 570,.8t
THANKS TO MOTHER EVE.
The human race has been saved
by having to work. It digged its
way out of its primeval pit by work.
When it discovered its nakedness
and had to'be clothed, it worked for
its raiment ; when it appreciated
•the responsibilities of fatherhood to
be feeding and rearing of the young,
it worked under the impulse of an
affection that was relined above the
instincts of the brute. ' The relation
of husband and wife was made
possible and proper only by the
willingness to work that it might
gather to it the necessaries of exist-
ence and finally be adorned by the
protnpti.ngs of intellectual as well' as
physical wants. If Mother Eve is
responsible for all this, we lift our
hat to her and offer the sincerest
respect to her great memory. She
did more for mankind than Adam
and all of his male descendants.
WHAT SHE WANTED.
She didn't care for isms, and—she
neveriwrote a letter
To the paper's telling how she'd try
to make the whole world better :
She lived in Massachusetts, she was
freckled o'er with tan,
And all on earth she wanted was a
marriageable man.
.1UsT LIKE POLITICS.
A ratan foll from the third story
of a building, struck headforemost in
a pile of soft mu 1, anti was buried
10 tho Vrest. 1fe was not serionaly in-
jured, but he sod, as he gouged the
mull out of his nost rils, thet he felt
afi if he hall just, gone through nil
e;XCiting ('residential campaign at
the head of lir, tickets.
THE ESSENCE OF '1'iME.
A holy who,tliough in the autumn
of life, hail not lost all dreams 6f RA
spring, said to Jerrold : "1 can.
till/
?
aaq:S kgggf7rqW ,e;qr
IC
lir... gg $ q6 o o'd ►
en tat a',,,t g. i a' Atte el
a Ap3.A.Atmf ,g1s
oil up.
:,—'"'-g21,11.1111.4-ce �q `'��bly`A rra''lW
W p,P., tigA@0-1 kg v,• --d
tI:Cilo � 'g',410.4' d1. I;1:a
N ''' W01,0 �•teo
Is
O'Reaa Sets*to B..ot. at
CORNS ! CORNS !
CASTE'S
CORN CURE
Removes all kinds of hard andieoft cern), warts
etc., without pain or annoyance.
—IT 18 A SAFE—
Sure and Effectual Remedy
And there le no corn existing it will not cure,
destroying every root and branch.
Once Used Will Never be
FEED •TILE, BEAST.
Aprotu•s of the discussion Low
wives v.., keep their husbands at
hotue 1:1„1tts is a story General
Wager S vayne told the other night
at the 011i.' Society. It was about
a young •w fe who had great admira-
tion for h. r mother-in-law, because
of the manner in which she managed
her husband. The honeymoon was
hardly, over before the young wife
came to tite older woman to beg for
knowledge how to 'bake her young
husband as good a man as his father.
"You have some secret about it,
mother, 1 am sure ; and now that
T am your daughter you can tell me
about an't you 1" The old lady
insist alai elle had no secret, and
knew of no special plan by which to
make a man always as he ought to
be, but finally, under repeated
urgings, she smiled and said simply
this :—"Daughter, feed the beast."
CANADIAN NEWS NOTES.
—Mr. John Brennan, tanner, late
of the Wingbam tannery, will lo•
cats at Lucknow if he secur'es'ex-
eniption from taxation for ten
years,
—Mayor elect Andrew. Kelly, of
Brandon, Man., is a member of
the firm of Alexander Kelly & Co.,
merchant millers. of that place.
He came to Brandon in its early
days from St. Mary'r, Ontario, where
he was born thirty-seven years ago,
of Irish parentage.
—W. J. Stearn, who has been
in jail at Milton for about a week
awaiting hie trial for infamous crim-
inal charges under the Charlton act,
was sentenced to eighteen months
In the Central prison.
Regretted'.
• —REFUSE ALI, SUBSTITUTES—
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IIARPER'S WEEKLY.
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g,enttotry.
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�rN'oi.Y
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1890.
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LI
0. "-- - ' ,emetery
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•
A NICE HOME
ItT A RAROA iN.—Eight acres of land with a
select orchard of choice apple trees;
condonable house and stables ; adjoining Godo.
rich township. Apply to B. L. DOYLE, Gode-
rich. 520-t1
tetitton
(Orange.
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ICK
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502 H.
PROPERTYFOR SALE OR TO RENT.
L. 0. L. No. 710
CLINTON,
Meets SECOND Monday of every
Month. Hall, 3.d , flat, Victoria
block. Visiting brethren always
made welcome.
W. G. SMITH, W. M
JOHN FORD, D. M
P. CANTELON, Sec.
A coitago on Albert St., lately occupied
Mr. James Moore. Flys bed mons, don
parlor, dining room, kitchen, Bummer kitchen
and .pantry. Bard and soft water.Stable and
• fruit trees. There aro three lots on Maple Street
besides the ono on which the cottage stands,
making an acre of ground in all. The Cottage
rind one lot will be sold separately If doeired and
on reasonable terms. Possession given at once.
Apply to MRS. THOMAS C4OPER.
Olinton, Sept. 2nd, 1880. 107-11.
Jubilee Preceptory Rai 161,
(Black, Knights of Ireland)
Meets in the Clinton Orange Hall, the second
Wednesday of every month, at 7.30 o'clock 4n
the evening. Visiting Sir Knights will alwa;l•e
_"ceive a hearty we come.
A. M. TODD, Worshipful Preceptor
GEORGE HANLEY, Deputy Preceptor
PRIER 1'ANTEI°ON, Registrar
Royal Black Preceptory 3B11 .4
Black Knights of Ireland, -
Meets in the Orange 11a11, Blyth, the Wednes
day after full moon of every ID 0f ytW.
Royal Black Preceptory 3151
Black Knights of Ireland,
Meets in the Orange Hall, Goderich, the Thie
Monday of every month. Visiting Knights nlway
made welcome.
JAMES WELLS, Preceptor, Saltford P 0
W H MURNEY, Registrar, Goderich P 0 .
eas
CLINTON KNIGHTS OF LABOR
kJ Rooms, third flat, Victoria block. Regnlr
meeting every Thursday evening at 8 o'clov
sharp. Visiting Knights made welcome.
ass w,.�..
FOR FIRST CLASS,
HAIRCUTTING AND SHAVING.
Go to A. E. EVANS,f ;FANR1oNABLE
BARRER, 2 doors east of NEws-REcotn: of-
fice. Special attention given to Lt DIES
AND CHILDREN'S Haircutting.
POMPADOUR HA,IRCUTTINO A SPECIALTY.
FOR SALE.
Sean
E SUBSCRIBER offers for sale four eligible
MITE Lots fronting on Albert Street; also
two fronting on Rattenbury Street; either en
bloc or in separate lots, to suit purchasers. For
further particulars apply to tho undorsign,.d.—E.
DiNSLEY, Clinton. 882
dieSSALWasin
T iI PROPERTY FOR SALE OR
RENT.—Advertisers will find "The
News -Record" one of the best medinins
in the County of Huron. Advertise in
"The News-Record"—The Double Circulation
Talks to Thousand4. Rates as low as any.
011,
'1111.
THE GRAND UNION,
Clinton, - Ontario
A FIRST-CLASS HOTI'.l.
FRANK HEIMAN, - Proprietor.
J. C. STEVENSON,
Furniture Dealer, &c.
THE LEADING' UNDERTAKER AND
FUNERAL DIRECTOR.
Opposite Town hall, - Clinton, On
•
SALE BILLS, The
Newe•Reeord has nn•
surpassed fa ieitins for
turni ng on t tn•-t .hiss
work at low nates. IA
free nth ertlselm of lu
Thu News Record with
every set of sale hills.
Goderich Marble Works
HavitT bought out JOSEPH VAN8loNR,
in Goderich, we are now prepared to fur
nish, on reasonable terms,
HEADSTONES AND MONUMENTS,
GRANITE A SPECIALTY.
We are prepared to sell cheaper than any
other Rem in the county.
Parties wanting anything in this lipo will
find it to their interest to reserve their
orders for no.
ROBERTSON"& BELT,
May 17th, 1886, 802.811