Huron Record, 1881-02-18, Page 3ssip _feet, sialered hesitatintily rani withtugenu-
,,a thoete,,nnt nay own."
•
Sel r en TiLraea Wia0vii htUt Still Ara skin
ens kitty replied
1VI' TerY'R•Vtut bur
in the atr,./1329nial Rig
A Paseener in the
Wrong lierth, •
11-nnt.0 as to Artistic Press gf,
feeta—Eneouragem,ent for the
Owners of Large Months.
Jealousy and Bad Pistol-Shoot-
ing—Kate Field's.Toilets—
Fashion Society Di -
Versions.
den liter "
•• 44 "
ol est e le et or firat
sack, hey t- eind Czadine to
r
nm mother. She weep% allel4res siskinfor Bea1.
ekin sacke. No, sir, a flg leaf satisfied her,
and we learn that when she went to church
the Mita of value want rigged tip like be"
well-known euthreaployer natned,Down
married a Mies Trump, which, accordina to
the rules of the matrimonial game, turner',
he Trump Down. She then made it clubs.
and stove-pokera, aniVhe: has never been
able to hold fuly hands since. We pass.
Land of the free "You boast that your
countryis the land of liberty," said a young
Engin nobleman, who bad married an
Ammican lady, to Yankee traveler at a
London chop houie. " Ynu call it the 'ewe
a freedom and all that, but it'd /aeastly
fact that I never lost my independenne t lf
Fastilon *Notes. I went there."
Long talma capes of silk or at are sty.
lish. Georgeous Drossea.
satai bit!eyens: a are grainally ;Heap. .
K 4e80141)ed to Prou4lanca
pt a in.,. Journa/ reperter, the ether daY, the cos -
A istiat dress made of licit material is ad..
tumes mode for her by worth, in whieh she
llamado aria where. , in this winter dazzling Aineriaan audiences
White or black jet boa Pete Ire rreelo4 ether entertainment stated that she
day or evening wear. had pert:bagel five dreamt& which cost in the
Bayadere striped plush is much used for vicinity of $2 500, and had be n °trounced
trimming fancy costumes. • models of cilegance, and by all the terms in
Ceshinere drapes al acefully osrt r kirie of the enthusiastic votaibulary of feminine .ap.
white or colored. satin. , • preciation. She described one of these
dresaes which was honouit el with a descrip.
Large hats for some fume are Mote dressy • . • •
tion in A recent number of the London
and becoming than small ones.; .
• . ' Court , The -• style i. Empress
Short waists aro *aiming in style again, ; Josephine, the foundation being Of new geld
and will be worn with short skirt e ar trains, satin, and the back of the same. The front
Venetian point, Alencon, and real Span- is of. coffee-coloured velvet, trininied adown
ish are three styles in lanes which are new in the front With pearle, and on the bottom
special r5gue. • . with lace and pearls. The bodice is out
The new tinted cashmeres are made fat°. , !Mare and filled In with ice, and the neck
IS adoroed With a high rate of pearls. The
quaint house dresses in the Holland Style of
two centuries old. , colours of the dross are denominated bird of
paradise, and blue satin plaiting is interted
Marked effect is given to sober.toned and between the coffee-coloured velvet and now
.black garmente by tt e tendency to high
sold:, The style ia one of the latest of
coloring in the general styles of dress. . Worth's inventinue, and the oaten* is
For evening and dinner dressea, young valued at $590. Pearl ornaments are *ern
girls wear robes of lighteolored nuns' veil- with it, Miss Field then gave racy cit-
ing, or very light cashmere, trimmed with . scription of a conversation she had with
surah or satin. • , Worth. in regard te the superiority of Am -
Magnificent satin faMics are imported erican satins over • the French material,
covered with Vesuvius beads of fine qeality, artrich,grevi out of her exhibition of a piece
Whose dazzling rays give the meterial.the Of American:black. and cardinal satin ptir-
effect of being covered with precious stoned; chased in New Jersey. She gought to per-
suade hini to order samples; and, after ex.
The faahionable bracelet . tor tne moment amioing the material, ' the famous riatist
is a narrow band of hammered gold,. front said Yea, !I see that you are going to
which depends a -fine gold ohain, and a cira bouipete With he on our own ground; arid .1
clet, ineisle of which is a diamond, 'pendant. don't quotation that, in b. few year's, you wiil
Bali dtesses of liglet materials; • such as succeed exoelling ne, because French silks
gauze; net. an&sorape; may ',bra either plain are uacanestiotrebly • neterioreting by repiion
or elaborately embroidered and finished with of tbs. use of sizing, Cie ihadea, so'
long garlands or *teethe of N"arioolpeolored that they giriekly become shiny and creasy.
flowers. • . . ;,laut;Inuch as ,disapprove of the inferior
eondiaion'of French silk, You caa not eXpect
Very becoming indoor jackets are made of
• me to injure , the Country of. my adoption.
blue Hindoo cashmere with wicle borders of
The same 'spirit that ectuates you tiny
Oriental caellinere af 'the brightest colors;
American siailis here is. the spirit that eetuas
Ruffiesiof zyellow lade are ,agotit„ai/onnd flea
neck and:wriste: "tenants tesaphold French reertuficelmaisa• I
Will make 4p yeitiameterial for youalint you
Fiches of India 'mull,i.deoorated
'Cad wit expect Mmto• give, au. oreteraaa "Ss,
hand -painted torderaandaedgedawite-Grec.- • mi. thassfiaaaataize himory, of: porigioo
gee lace, are worn crorsed over the bodice alressinaking," ttiumphantly said the i.aucy
in frout, the sash ends being carried- to the Kate, " Atherican satins were •made into, a
-back and fastened with a bunch oatteanaa apagailia4,3aaarijavasi.aa .
ribbons. • . - • ks L • •'.• : .,•a „ • a • •
Black Brtaaele net scarfs, aWiened with •. _
velvet leaves which are coVerect with hide. • • :pmething. more Than Souvenirs, • -
scent beads, are worn upen. bonnets „Oaf ....Six yam agma lady Of this City; says. the
Mack plush. They are faidened atthe sides: the 'Hartford Cotirant,.was:cilling on a gee.
Of the hat with scerabees oral eetleri ef .the.
kalernan. fetitid Wirtiahed recently . returned
natural size. . - ' from a protracted sojourn in Czna, andWho
The" Laveuse" polonaise, with upturned had brought heck e large nuiriber of euriosia
skirts, Ala weaherwoman, it; still he flavour.' ties as.presents. After admiring the many
The polonaise is Made of self-colpreil Mater- ." pecaltatlhings from the Celestial'empire,
ial, and the wide rap- at the 41)ettom is .• the gentTemau 'grtvelier What 'sheik suppesecl
usually faced with plush brocad,e'or water,' ! to • be A..doz$n oiditiary smoked pearls as
ed silk. 1 . .•,. • . •sciuvenirs. After i a swhile they. were laid
away, but not until two of 'them had been •
Shot glace silks, less expensive then bro.
domestic in her. household, •!A•
cades, arevery fashionable for demi-toilet given to a
few days age the lady was yieited by an old
.dresses, and are trimmed -usually with ‘satin
or lace. These silks have intdegree taken . friendireen: a distant • part of. the country,
and henattentioa was called to the pin' he
the plage of faille, whoa° popularity is cords
wore on his emir?, teeognizing it as similer
pietelfet an end. '
• to the ",pearls" the had laid aWay. Her
4‘ novelty in underwear is the Vegleeped visitor told. her that it 'avite• a cat's eye pearl
cheinise, with the yoke in thet alesiga forni, from China; and- that it Was, exceediagly
ed of niedalliens in embroidery; alternating ram ,aaaa quite yeluable;.and' Weatla, ic
with bars or squares of Valenciennes or 1. a rageamong'N .-5cork , , -1 . .
torchen lace, with edging, to match. ' A The hilly 'booklet jerno to a jeweler recent -
handsome, petticoat is finished latth heavy. ly rind had the iiatiefaction of teeming that •
Medesa lace in antique pattern. . ; .' they were worth from $30 te $40 a hoe d
now she is to heve them set in a lace pin.
Waits. They ere a . trifle larger than: peas and
Sha many many. suitors did tefure, • .
• With air composed and calm;
But when the right one asked hst hand,
Heearried off the palm:'
A gentleman the other evening objected to
playing earda with a lady, because, hesaid,
k he had such a wnining way about her.
The tiine has arrived when an invitation
to a wedding is equivalent to lending the
groom ten dollars and feeling thankful that
he didn't ask for more.
There is just as much vindictiveness
wrapped up. in the "0 shucks 1" of a woman
aa there is in the. well-developed and emu -
plicated anathema of a Texas cowboy.
"Take back the lovo thou gav'st mei." she
sang. It was a have of a bonnet, 'but clide't
match her complexien,.andashewauted him
to exchange it for cane that • •
Pater families : '4"Well, ..lennie, if you
must marry thiawinter, I suppose you Must.
Take either of•thein Jeneie—the plumber or
the coal dealer; both are good men." •
The principal ofiar.youngladies' ,semiouiry
has so exhaustingly mffieted her pepils With
" deportinent " that, whin left aldlie, her
girls of 16 act like sixty.
"Do you favour my suit '1" said Claud to
Angelina, the other day. was the
crushing reply, " I look with nfore'favour
on the new clothes than I de on theft
owner." ' • °
•
Indiana has a' kW' 6 revent
ed persons marrying, A crusty bachelor
insinuates that the weak.minded are the
only persona who ever think of eletng, such a
thing. - • .
"1 daelare," said a gentleman to hieladys
love, (gym ATI very handsome." a', P.pcda,"
said the lady, so .yoit vit)tild sly if yen eltel•
not think so." "'And so yen wohld think
answered he, "though I should net say so."
' A exchange tells of a young lady who, six
months after a happy marriage, on beink
asked if she was mach troubled with cold
•
„descent, and have in ihe _centre of one of
athe 'flattened sides an almond -obeyed spot'
sofma ,diiffterentplour, Which rencler them \rely
i o eat s eyee.
•
-
. Why She Married IBM.
• The St. Petersburg correspondent Of the
gasler Nachrichten describes at lengtla the
reeenciliatiea scene" (between the czar's
wife, Princess Dolgorouki, and his daughter -
in -lave, the wife of the crown prince. It
• took plape in Livadia. At the receptidn Of
hisson and daughter.in-law, the czar, for the
specie' honcnir of the latter, for whom he has
always, shown warm affection, Worn the Mai-
' font of, her 'own regiment—the Gatschina
• Ciiirassiers ormer y t regunept of the
Empress Maria. • Immediately after the first
greeting, which was very ardent, the cigar
turned to the crown.princess afigerly and
' "Make a to my wifeuie early ea
• possible, The lady replied that she Would
not delay it for a moment, and Went straight
to the apartments of thePriiacesaDolgoroulti.
• When she appearml in the doorway she sevy
• the czar's wife prostrate on her knees before
.. the steered "icon": Thep visitor irentained
standing. The nete empress liadat,ot hotieed
her, As soon 'as the letter discevered her
visitor she remained in her kneeling posi.
;Hon, and turning her face, streaming with
tears, upon the orewn princess, iihe 'threw
up her liands and exclaimed "Forgive me 1
have done, it for my elrildren'a sake,". The
reooneiliatiini between the two ladtes said
lati,,gpmpletta ; '• , •
,
Ladies, Vunchee.
• Ethereal and spirituelle as the New York
'
girl if are .often supposed to be, they seem to
develop most surprising appetites at the
fashionable 14cheone, and, peelefor 'invite.-
ctienstothem' in a mahner Worthy'. of a better
"caeca, 4.aiterrinter, alarrespondent,
the number of these ladies' luncheons was
innumerable, and they have already begun
this year, if possihle, on a larger and more
expensive scale, •They afferd opportunity
4
•
•
for .so hinch rivalry in regard to decoratione
th'bliionl *beta Wired, tir extravagance
of menu, and in tbe providing of,other at.
traction which: may charm tbe 'oars or de.
light the eyes of other guests• Jngenerelt
ledlee' luncheen, however, is eerved er•me-
what ae followdate tieing fixed
Upon, marl the•list of guilts trt•ttle out, the
invitations are pent, and, in almost every
cape, 'favorable !answers soon rareived,
Groutaautat be the obstacle which prevents
girl freirn aceepting an invitation to a ladies!
luncheon. Docter's advice is disregarded,
-other. engagements thrown to the wind and
gleeful, acceptance joyfully penned. The
drawiag-roont ia then Prepared for a, number
of sinall 'tables, baling from four to six
girls at tech, which are each spread with a
snowy:white cloth, on which are placed ght.
tering Raver 8114 china. A hendeorne dirner-
eard is laid at eeoh place, awl either a choice
bouquet of roses ora beautiful himhonniere
fille with sweete. ()ire is taken that inti•
mate friend; wlitre possible—or, at Ivrea,
girls who are congeuial—ehal1 sit at the
same tables. Handeonie.. hangings are d ra p-
afl round the ?Qom, and the want ()piece and
chandelier ore cov.rid with choice flowere.
The fashion Ohs e ,r es. to .1 ntii ely s hut out
the daylight anti heavy willow ata light
the room entirely with War. conAtes. The
rich efift. glow %high these produce, con,
bined with the heavy haugings of the draw,
ing-reotn in a city house, and the abitailaat
, &ea 0, inakes it most oh/riming picture:
Maid -servants, trinily dressed, with snow-
white aprons and eons, serve the lunch..
This important feature of the entertainment
consists of oyeters; salads, and ices togeth,
ei with coafectionery of all sorts, .,Conver.
.siation is generally, of neceasity, rather goe-
iiipy in iigatendency, and happy is the young
nian of any soelety 'prominence whose name
is not brought in and his character dietaries,
td. The tender mercies of a number
of ew York girla at a luncheon are, indeed,
oruel. •
— • .
• 'Sweet Weiman'a Mouth. ..
. Wide mouths have come.into fashion •for
women.- This is a change from the prevail-
ing atyle ,of the past year or two. 1.'he
proper mouth for the preaent season,
tays. The New York, Graphic,, is ,wom in a
coast:tilt but inild smile, the isomers being
drawn back horizontally, with • the lips lett'
closed. The. expression is • onersofLamiable,
quiet eatisfaction •with all the world—as
though. the mind. was free from sorrow anda
the feet free 'fi om %cons. Cale should, be
taken not to broaden this into an active grin,
except on mirthful occasions •not' : should
the bpi he compressed. ,All should. , be in
repose.. The lip. may bo redoened, if the
natural ceder b tc o light. .A. practice of
paintibia the exposed • membrane of: the rap-
per bp road and liright jot at the. centre
,
has inept in, but it is bad, for it give e an
ardfiehal. and sonettou?, look; • The fashion-
able belle hap cut •the purikerifig string of
her mouth and no longer Murmurs prunes-
., prunes,, prunes." She 'can kiss ten men
simulteneoirsly and'giae: good ,satisfactioii;
'ashen) before only one (fount find room at a
time. The :teener who hupposes that the •
;above is faheiful and not plain, straightfor-
'alardleahien nevyals Veay
1Voinea can chag tho.y%fas,•
•if not at Will, at least ationsiderabljr. : The
liairovertireferelleadacausbe..scaarrrangecia
to prcchice .a desired outline for the upper
part of the face; the inontheari be niade to
widely vary its.expresaion; the eyes cad he;
kept partly wide open or Ittaguidly half-
closed ; the elieeks can be rounded :by •us-
, Mg • " phittipers," • the "eyebrows &eh. be
arched. or • straightened; the caller can' he
controlled to a high degree. •Thusit isaep-
• parent that wenn 'can; if 'clever, ha to
• oriole extent thcfaed Elie vents. ...The /thee
is about the • only :hal-actable feature. . Ib
kicks right outin unaltereble independence;:,
defrayingfall efforts to shorten or straighten
it. Let me • interPOlete the fact that nit
one women an ten .eyor • laughs pr.. smiles
naturally; .Knereving fiiII•tvell our d'efeets of
teeth Cr expression, We. try to biao or re,•
form them, .1 keoW' a girl who will never.
go tothe minstrels of tiny other funny allow
because She isn'tpretty when: she laughs
If •imidtertantly ertught by something c�n1
ic,shh burieithe latigh aAa banclkerhief
but Whenever. porisible • shia does * all • her.
laughing internally.. This wrenches her.
terribly, and sooner or later tome direr
vitalawill get broketi'ell to pieces but she
prefers: death ton display of her aciagsry
teeth.. . •
. • • does net pass-offOhe juices' are • preseiVed,
• --aa.a, •
• • aigreeable odours. 'Milk can be boiled with-
• .
. . .
you are in tho wrong berth," she began to.
"Yee, yes; time enougli—all right 1"
She hogau to quake with amety real a,
possible unpleatiant denouement, and, nerr.
mg herself, she reached out both, halide and
made a grab for his hair and beard.
"Good gracione 1" wait the wide•awalee
response, aa the man eprang into. a sitting
position and faced. his almost crying lady
friend, whose appreoiation ef the ridiculous
'ironstone her fright for the instant, as her
woman's wit canoe to her aid, and, with a,
„buret of laughti r, she said:
0, Mr. Piekwick, where'a your night-
cap ? "
"My dear madame, a thouaand perdons„"
•• "Never mind; but ee, for goodness sake
I know it'a a mistake."
He aneaked away, feeling like a fool, and
admiring the lady's good tense to temh an
.extei•t that it will result in a wedding,
• The ErnbartaSSed Passenger,.
You may have beeTi—anaseenger eita street
ear at a, time.when soMe one picked a
ar off the cushions or a dollar bill from
the straw and anxiously inquired for an Owe.
er. At such a time every man feels in.
atinctively in his pockets; gvery man
f. els like saying he is the Malty party, but
an inward voice reetraius hizri, and he re-
menibera thet General Washington
not tell a lie. The money is invariably
pock:steel by ohe Ander, and he is set down
in. the opinion of hia feil ,w.pasengers as oon.
temptible and mean.
• Oa a Woodward avenue car yesterday a
young man purpOsety dropped a greenback
on the floor, and At A proper moment he
picked it up and observed:
"'Who lost this dollar r
Every one leoked at him, end every
mouth watered,,
"Did any oue drop this bill?" cnatinued
the young man as held up a corner,
" There was another embarrassing pause.
Then a matt reaohed out for it with the
remark:
"I dropped it, Sir. You are an honest
man to return it." .
" Are you sere you dropped. it?"
"I am. I am not a
"But—you—see--you—" stammered the
young man,
,"Give me my moi-ey 4 r wring your
luck I" interrupted the other, as he reached
out for his vittim.
The young inan gavc it ,up, He looked,
white and. red and green, and Ile felt so bad
over it that he soon do peed of the car and
took, to the ley sidewalk. ,
444.---411-...44-4444m4
• .
Cobking With Steam Heat.
.Steain has never Veen looked upoa with
'special favour in the kitchen, end its use for
cooking purposes has heretofore been rather.
limited. The prejudice against its use it
doubtlets clue in great measure to the bun-
gling devices employed, in applying it;
whiell generally resulted in producing sod,
*den fend, devoid of flavour. 4. new con-
trivance, the WOrk of Mr. John ;Ashcroft,
was, succesehilly tested in the restenrant of
Menem: Nun Creek recently, wisen an
entire dinner,cooked With steam was served .
-atai icedeCt'; artlier patibiii—Ortrie"
eestablishraent and a number of newspaper
men: *SoupS; fish, roasts of beef and mutton
'and canvas.back duele,• Puddings, And other.
edibles 'were all cooked by the new process,
and those who partook- of the viands pro-
nounced them excellently well coked. The
new •nrooess docile :away entirely ,With the
use of • Stolies,and ranaes exempt for broiling
purYoses,:and. Oven broiling, at is believed,
will be done•much better by the steam. oven
• Shan by an open fire. A device for so.
:ploying it has been put to sorne sever, tests,
.and ihns fat, has. worked, veil, although it
las not /et been .putln general use. The.
steam ovens. minaret of vessels with double
'thistle, dna inside the .other.. The steam
.
coming from a boiler le introduce y pipes
into the space between the two shells. Ra-
diation of the heat to the outside is prevent-
ed by. a jacket of asbestus. .A.thin.g to be
baked isput in the vessel, where itte aeted
niacin by the heat derived from the steam,
though the vapctur iaowhete • towhee ' the
food, .The quantify of the steam ,and 'the.
pressure are, regulated.lay meant of little
. wheels: There is • no burning by the ' pro-
cess, •rrieitte Are not charted,: their flavour
. .
. and the kitchen is free from the usual dis-
.A Romn
ace of the Rail.
.. . . . , •out Mirning,.and aoups of -delicate flaveat.
-
A lady—maidenlady by cholbe=Wai tray- 'can be prepared and kept betterthan with e
'elling westward in the company of an elder- Stove or range. • A great Advantage Of the
.1y Widower friend, whehad been; east•mak- : new mess is that no fires.hevele be kept
iog purchases,. end gallantly Volunteered to , -lit as in a range Shore is no dust or ashes'
tie° the lady safely' to • her journey7s.. end, flying about thiPkitchen; arid 'the heat, can
The lady .was - forty, bid •looked arruoli • be applied more, eptedily.ann with less troll;
youn ble thee lithe carie. with ..A range, The.
A sleeping. section of .a Ptillinala car had ,• steam goalie shut off a or turned .on at will,
been secured for herr oua a. loWer'berth.of • and. after serving its .Purpose: may be con.
the adjoining compartment for the gentle.: • ;Veyect away for use inheating apartments.'
alien. The day andevening had parsed in Wherever a steam boileris used • the ovens
• delighfful companionship; and about eleven oan be made 'available at at entail e4ense. •
ralclook they bade each Ottier good night; and . if - the nut -Wiens steam -heating 'companies,
retired behind their. ourtains—she, to divest •'which have obtained permission to rip up,
herself ofouter garmenta.'and,replace the ')the streets ever. get at. Work and supply,.
same by A loose wrapper, comfortable, to :Steam' heat' to 'houses; the „Ashcroft ovens
sleep in, rind still dressed in the event of will very likely come bitogenerel use in pri-
• aceidenta. Tirehtjiing a handkerchief about vate houses.' • • . • . • ' .
her head tei keep her 'tfrizsas ".,froin getting . * ..
• out of carlvshe burled herself close to the • • An old Incident Repeated'. ;
back of the berth, and went to sleep. .... .- : • .
—
, Thegentleinan, en the eentrary)4eould not .' A liaclYiatirell.knOttn irr.Beverlya. While...in
Woo ailtunber; So 'he got npi'atttl, armed awith a' puereuger-, railway car hi Philadelpliia one
e good cigar, went ante- the: sinokingear to day !eat week, had het attention attracted
enjoy it and. fratarniz) for the time being to a very handsome diamond ring •,nii the
with some ofhis own sex.. Gar friend found • finger .of a geotlemanly-looking passenger
a • "good felloW,0 and tteei•hour, gnickly , •beahle, her. The lady left the ear and pi:fa-
asted away. A jollY.belliedWil ow-boiind° • ceeded to A store where she rade Several
ask changed hands several tnnea, and thins marchases, but 01:: patting her hand in her
i .
. the elderly'. widower returnee' to hie car, pocket for her purse foinid it had disakiear- - enrY her stolen meal. inc girLnever
kicked offhi boots, and threw bimeelf tion ed, and in• its .place found the diamond ring ' noticed her less, and when told of it by her .
the front of what he fended:was •bai berth, that had attracted her attention. A.jewe '.. conapitnione laughed very heartily.; Itis .
aid fellinte a profound shimber,.. How long ler pronounced it' worth 11500, it ts sup' evident that the oat fromatrbervetion had. ..
the maiden lady had slept shadid notknow, . posed the setting of the ring caught in hes entirely satisfied hertielf that the,airl .could '
btit ehe was awakened by feeling tho pies-, pocket,, and it Was stripped from the finger. 'nob see,end by a proceis of roe:eating decid,
sure of the bed clOthes binding her in close of the thief. • The pocket book contained .cd she could:steal a good dinner by this
her friend and protector, who was PeataifullY '• gt490, . Thie. is -no fairy-story,and will be
praetical we of her knowledge.. '•
.•. ._ . „ . ..- . .
quarters, and, raising.her head she observed about $10, and the lady is the palter bar •
adoring 4 .ithatecao lullaby whieh kept time voitched for byseireral Persons. -: • " • •
IT is' said that all the 'banana. trees. in : . a •
Snickers,
H• ow to bring people over to your side—
have the snow cleaned tiff your etdeiwallia
It is sad. but true that a znan who once
becomes deaf Belden* eiders a happy hear
after;
The minister who divides his discourses
into too imply heaels will lied it dillicillt. to
procure attentive eare for all of them,
"Ne got bis„ jos; deeefts," remarked.
Broavna "And mine, too,"ejeoulated Strong,
as he aurveyed. the table saw the after -din.
ner luxuries all, gene.
"When A man puts clown a had umbrella
and takes up a good one," moth Josh Bil.
lings, "he inak-ea A m'atake; but when he
puts down a geed mac and takes up a bad
ono le:nukes a blunder."
Pupil : "What is a hero, Mr. Eirehem 1"
Teaeher,(1114 Pirehene) "A hero la a man
who :leaguers himself," Pupil; "Ah,
see; a man who can sit down on a tack and
only feel sad about 14"
A photographer recently acted as master
of ceremonies at a friend'e funeral*, and as he
lifted the coffin lid for the mourners to look
at the remains, whispered to the corpse,
"Now, look natural.". POree of habit.
Young Mr. Ecru has a very sallow cone- ,
plexion. He says he ifin't proud; and he
dm en't care at all about his looks, but what
' bboatilorue: him. is that his complexion is natu.
.cbriitoolrulily, so yellow that he can't tell when be is
"1 Easy, Paddy, that is the wor4it looking,
•
•
to Syhouut If ohttauvue ehvimer suevenpin hoaprnaetshsjimWhupy,
is it? Faix, the poor baste CALI scarcely carry
rthoeddliytt.le mate that's on him now 1" replied
A man found a rough -Molting individual '
in his cellar. Who are your he demand.
ed, • " The gas man, come to take the °
.meter," was the reply. "Great• heaven 1"
eried the householder, I hoped you were
only a burglar." •
Yee," remarked a musiial eritio, " the
fiddlin' was bully ; but I tell you when that
fat ohap with the big mustache laid held of
the bass fiddle and went for them low notes
• in the-violin-oellar, I knit felt as if a buzz.
saw wus a playin' Yankee Doodle on my
loaekbone."
Seine .arithmetioal chap has figured. out
that Vanderbilt'e income would allow him .
to visit 8,000 circuses, eat 10,000 pints Of
peewits, and drink 5,000 glassea of lemon-
ade every day in the Year. .But he doesn't
do it. Thus it can be seen that wealth is -
given to those who don't knew'how to eujoy.
A. gentleman who is fond of horses attend-
ed Church recently whet° there is a some.
prolonged aerviee before :they come to a.
the sermon: "How were you pleased with
the services ?" asked friend. "Oh, very
Much ; though. it did sttike Me that there ,
was a.'good deal of scoring before. they g0. .
off." • •
Ati army joke A mOunted orderly, an
• Itishmen", Was Veining up • to deliveran of&
cial• doentest ,at the officers' get:Eters at
wffen liiirciliarger • heeled and Ire- -
.found sitting 'Nit; pavinnent. , ' •
7ifIleife°d-re flea 'the- Iiiieser7riiii!rtliTif cia
intelligent baste? Sere he knew I Wanted.
• to get .doWn.and he eavesane the trouble. .
A tenant has been dancing all night over •
• the head of his landlord. At sub in the 'Mottl-
ing the latter'eeines up-steirs and complains •
bitterly of the annoyance.' "What 'annoy-
ance? asks the tenant. "Why; I haven't
• •
slept -a wink -all hight,'? Was the ,answer. '.
"Neither have 1;" says the tenant; " and ;
yet I don't make any -fuse aboat • • •
Young Hopefill, age Who is shoiving
aiieiter his book containing an alteged tapres
sentation of a "bird" and a "hook," as India •
ceded' iu the words underneath the drawings.
"Them are my Worst drawings; Mr; Smith."
Mr. Sinith'i " Indeed, Tommy I" and 'wheals
ere your other ones?" Young Hopeful: "Oh,
I haven't dvawed them yet.";
• • •
• A braVe boy who kept, twenty Iddians at
bay, died Ofaili8 wounds at. Denver,' gel.; a
few days ago. It never happens that way
in 'a dime ''novel of' Indian warfare. The....
• braveboy in the dime novel, weeld hive
-kept the Indians at bay until there 'WAS not .
an Dadian left to bay at hire, and then he
would have rescued andamarried a beautiful
white Captive, with long. heir kissed by• the
sunlight, ripe red lipa, eyes of dianiends, a '
marble brow, and a good-natured father •
worth $900,000. There is ...too much reality .
ba the real, •
2.. .
Animal Reasoning;
A. lady, a faiend of mine; was at one time
Matron of a hospital for poorwernen and
children which was maintained by subacrip-
tion. Oue of the iiimatee :was a blind girl:
Who, Was not themes patient, Mit teMpor.
arily,till a home could be found for her. She .
had learned. to feed herself, ao at anoal
• times, a tray containing her • diner *rap .
placeel on her krices, as she sat in a combo. •• ,
table ohair fee her special convenience iii
• feeding herself, One day 'while she was
eating, the pet cat of the establishnient --•
place& herself bilore the girl and looked • a -
long and earnestly at her, so catuestly that
She Matron, fearing the animal inediteted
smite mischief to the girl, took her out Of
Athe roma, Again the nekt day, at the same •
horir, the cat entered the retool,: but this %.
time Walked quietly to •the sidecreareal
herself on her hind lags, and noiselessly:,
stealthily reached out her paw to the plate,
selected and seised a inersal that pleased .
her, and, eilently is she came, dapatted to
to Vie troir 'and rachet of he trein!" Vaappilx, . • •
1ng iu the situation, her firat thought W,AS to From 1848 to 3'an; '1, 18$1, 'Califoinis and that ice,three.quarters cif an inoli think,
.AkekfionVille0 Elia, are killed by the cold,
thee -Mistake ft:Veiled upen he hair,
turned 011t in gold and Silver $2,1139,268,. (severed the face of the St. John's River
awaken.him and get him ant liefOre the W. aa, , .
Oident should.have an observer. Trembling, "w• . .
. • wady. • .
OreebraVelyi ilia bktin to shake the intrtider, 'The leethrer whei Mann ainlienee of three, Mug. S'tticitr Bates died at Sancona Ninths •
had was rewarded by a muttered " Yeas. old maids and one man and hie wife, said atnpton Colinty,,Pa., on 'Monday, aged 105
yea, all right 1"
., ." p, Mr. 74„ please—please wake tipa . pair.h
he drew a full house ---three of A kind and a years, and Daniel O'Brien et S.:wanton poor. .
honae, aned 118 yeare. . .
;