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The Huron Expositor, 1870-08-26, Page 19 1870 - 'are& Costs Tota 40 88 1 28 40 88 128 40 88 128 40 88 128. 40 8.8 1 28 40 88 1 28 40 88 1 28 40 SS 1 28 40 88 1. - 40 88. 12 8.1 88 169 81 88 1 69 81. .8169: 81 'S 1 69 3:24.a 419 40 158 1 28 40 V 1 28 40 ps 28 40 1 28 40 88- 128 40 1 28 2 02 93 295 '2 02 93 2.95 .202 93 295. 2 02 93 `) 95 202 93 295 • 40 SS ,40 88, 40 88 40, $8, 40 SS 40 CS, 40 88: ..40 88 • 40 SS .40 Sa 89:: 90 . 88 58-• . 88, 58. 88„ 1 28 1 28 1 28 1 28 1. 28" 1 28 1 28 1 28 1 28 1 28 2 79 1 46 1 46 1 46 FILLGP . 149 50 21951 60, ..FORTH 093 303 230 93 323. 231 93 3 24 :IN 10 1 5 16 35 8 19 07 -9 26 . 9 31 1 10 10 41 96 93 3$9: 426 97 •523. 53 99- :2:43 1NT.EY. 24 61 1 47 26 08 17 921 30 19 22 431 97 5 28 `EPHEN. - .40 14 1 87 42 01 5 62 1 00 5. 62 - 28- 71 1 57 30 28 79 14 2 85. 81. 99 2264 1 42 24 06 55 57 2 25 57 82 :46 22 2 02 18 24 32 1 55 28 87 71 07 2 55 73 72 :IN STEPHEN. 133 99 2 23 :ERSMITH. - atryey 94 93 -3 87 LE IN 'I tICKER- 89 88 ;NBERRY. 56 13 2 27 58 40 29 11 1 60 30 71 - 8 32 1 07 *9 39 32 25 1 67 33 92 54 5.6.2:22 56 88 TURNBE RRY. 25 90 '2:15 125 90 '2:15: :42.6 97 523 - 7G 88 1 61 76- 88.164 77 TURNBERRY• 45.3:97 550 45:3' 97 5.59 12 23 1 17 1340 BO-RNE. :5959: 2.1:2 52 71 16 54 1 27 17 81 I,TSBORNE. 80 88 16& 58 8S 1 46 55: 88 1 46 5S 88 146 294 93 3 87 294 93 3 87 294 93 387 ey .12 07 1 17 13 24 - 9 18 1 19 ID 28 1.41 90 2:3.1 AWANOS1I, 48 65 2 07 50 72 -EAST WAWA - 1 48 90 238: 114:8 90 2 38 148:90 2:38 = 337 95 '4 32. :167 90 257 373 95 455:. WANOSH. 41 26 1 90 43 16 87 n a 05 90 36 91 00- 3 15 94 15 39 54 1 85 41 39 R IN W. WA - 1.112 90 2.02 = 112 90 202 1.12: 90 '202:: 12 90 -2 92 1:112 90 2€. 112 90 .2 92 112'90 292: 1112 90 2 92 N W. WAWA - a 3- 71 95 :4 66 - 4 12 97 509 IN W. WAWA - 7 5,6 05 861 OS,S, Treasurer, Ca. Mires. - WM. F. LUXTON, "Freedom in Trade -Liberty in _Religion -Equality in Civil Right8". VOL. 3, NO. 38, EDTIOR & PUBLISHER. SEAFORTH, FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1870t -I3USINSS CARDS. MEDICAL. RTRACY, M. D., Coroner for the Connty of Huron': Office and Residence -One door East of the Methodist Episcopal Church. , Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53- ly 11 L. VERCOE, M. D. C. M., Physician, Sur- • geon, etc., Office and Residence, corner of Market and High Street, immediately in rear of Kidd & McMulkin's Store. Seaforth, Feb. 4th, 1870. 534. TAR. W. R. SMITH, Physician, Surgeon, etc. Office, --Opposite Veal's Grocery. Resi- dence -Main -street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863. 53- ly T CAMPBELL, M. D. C. M., (Graduate of Mc- Gill University, Montreal) Physician, Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth • Office and Residence -Old Post Office Building), up stairs, where he will be found by night or day when at home. Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. 84- ly -LEGAL. Tip F. WALKER, Attorney -at -Law and So7 licitor-in-Chancery, Conveyancer, Notary &c. Office of. the Clerk, of the Peace, Court House,, Goclerich, Ont. N.B. -Money to lend at 8 per cent on Farm Lands. Goderich, Jan'y. 28. 1870. 112-1y. • VCAUGHEY & HOLMSTEAD, Barristers, .111 Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and insolvency, Notaries Public and Conveyanc- ers. Solicitors for the R C. Bank, Seaforth, Agents for the Canada Life Assurance Co. N. R-$30,000,te1end at 8 per cent. Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dee. 14th, 1868. 53-tf. -DENSON & MEYER, Barristers and Attorney at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and Insolv- ency, Conveyancers, Notaries Public, etc. Of- fices,---Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents for the Trust and Loan Co. of Upper Canada, and the Colonial Securities Co. of London, England. Money at 8 per cent'; no commission, charged. TAS. BENSON, H. W. C. MEYER. Seaforth, Dec.- 10th 1868. 53-ly DENTAL. G. W. HARRIS, L. D. S Arti- ficial Dentures inserted with all the latest improvements. The greatest care taken for the preservation of decayed and tender teeth. Teeth extracted without pain. Rooms over Collier's Store. Saeforth. Dec. 14, 1868. 1 y. HOTELS. C0 MMERC1AL HOTEL, Ainleyvill , James Laird, proprietor, affords first-class accom- modation for the travelling public. The larder and bar are always -supphed with the best the markets afford. Excellent stabling in connection Ainleyville, April 23, 1869. 70-tf. ONX'S HOTEL (LATE SHARP'S) The un- dersigned begs to thank the public for the liberal patronage awarded to him in times past in the hotel business, and also to inform thein that he has again resumed business in the above stand, where he will be happy to have a call from old friends, and many new ones. THOMAS KONX. Seaforth, May 5, 1870. 126-tf. T R. ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, p •begs to inform the people of Seaforth and the travelling community generally, that he keeps first-class accommodation in every thing required by travellers. A good stable and willing hostler always on hand, Regular Boarders will receive every necessary attention. Seaforth, Feb. 8t1a, 1869. , 63-1y. BRITISH EXCLIANdE HOTEL, GODERICH, ONT., J. CALLAWAY, PROPRIETOR ; J. 8. Wiraaams, (late of American Hotel, Warsaw, N. Y.) Manager. This hotel has recently been new- ly furnished, and refitted throughout, and is now one of the most cnnifertable and commodious in the Province. Good Sample Rooms for Commer- cial Travellers. Terms liberal. Goderich, April 14, 1870. 123-tf. MISCEX.LANEOUS. SHARP'S LIVERY - STABLE, MAIN ST., SEAFOR TH. First Class Horses and Carriages always on hand at reaeonable terms. R SHARP, Proprietor. Seaforth, May 5th, 1870. 34f- MAILL & CROOKE, Architects, etc. Plans and Specifications drawn correctly. Carpen- ter's, Plasterer's, ,and Mason's work, measured and valued. Office -Over J. C. Detloril Co.'s store, Court -House Square, Goderich. Goderich, April 23, 1869: 79-1`y. G& W. MePHILLIp§, Provincial Land Sur- . veyors, Civil Enaineers, etc._ All manner of Conveyancing done with neatness and dispatch. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in B. R. Office - Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seaforth.' Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868. 53-ly • T S. PORTER, Seaforth, Ont., dealer in hides, fl . sheap skins, furs and wool. Liberal advance- ments made on main. outs. Money to lend. Insurance agent. ebts collected. Highest price paid for green backs. -Office east side of Main Street, .one door north Johnson Bros'. Hardware Store. 122-tf. HAZLEHURST, Licensed Auctioneer for AL). the County of Huron. Goderich, Ont Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stc,ck. Farm Stock Sales attended on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortgages Foreclosed, Landlord's Warrants Executed. Also, Bailiff First Division dourt for Huron. Goderieh, Jime 9th, 1869. 76. tf WHOLE NO. 142. THE DUSTY R,O.A.D. Upon a sultry summer day, Reclining on the shady grass, Beside the hot and dusty way, I watched the people pass. One after one they plodded by, Crossed o'er the brook and climbed the height, Then passed between me and the sky., And vanished from my sight. And every traveller left behind His foot -prints on the dusty road, Which to the philosophic mind His strength and -nature showed. Thus on the path of life, I said, Each traveller as he journeys on, A record leaves that may be read Long after he is gone, And this is well ; for 'tis a thought Repugnant to the human mind To pass away, be all forgot, And leave no trace behind. Andsome there are who hag the faith, • And surely 'tis a faith sublime, . That noble,deeds will. conquer death And brave he storms of time.. When sinkng down the western slope Life's fleetijig day is almost sped, The glory o that heering hope Illumes tli4hour of dread. - Take hea-t, 'ye worshippers of Fame, These traces on the trampled dust Support the credit of your claim And verify your trust. But while I pondered thus, behold! There came a whirling summer wind, With dusty clouds before it rolled, And dusty showers behind. 'Twas gone.; and when I looked again, I saw a smooth and level way, Nor did the slightest trace remain Of- all that passed that day. And is it thus) proud Soul, I said, The records of thy deeds sublime, Thy hope of lasting fame shall fade Before the blasts of time? Say, have not myriads of the world In vain essayed the steep e , of fame, Sprung from oblivion to be hurled Back on the way they came? Think not the centuries as they sweep O'er buried states with thunder wave, O'er nations that forgotten sleep, Will pause to mark thy grave. A foot -print on the sandy shore, Within the reach of rushing seas, - A whisper by the ocean's roar, - A leaf upon the breeze. Such is thy trace, vain man, upon The Pathway of the rolling years, Thy fame when thou 'art dead and gone So sounds, so disappears. Go find a purer light to chase The shadows frona the bed of death; Go build u,pon a firmer base A higher, nobler faith. Press upward to a brighter goal, Grave on thy heart the holy rood, Let virtue sanctify thy soul, And live for others' good. So live ; and haply .then to thee This truth will shine forth clear and plain; Man's hopes of immortality . Have not been given in vain. Berne, Aug. 17th, 1870. MY DREAM. When I was twenty years old, my parents be- ing dead, I enlisted in the 24th Regiment of Foot My regiment passed the next ten years in garri- son duty, in England, Ireland and 'America, and at the expiration of that time was ordered to In- dia, where I passed the next twenty years of my life. I was ambitious to rise from the ranks, and I exerted myself to do my dutyfaithfully. Itried to give satisfaction to my superior officers, and succeeded in doing so. I was naturally quick at learning,:though I say it myself, and. as the customs and ways of the na- tives interested me, I studied them closely. In four years after my arrival in the country, 1 was One of the best informed men in the service upon these topics. I had learned enough of the lan- guage of the people to converse easily with them, andknewtheir ways and ideas so well that I be- came -quite popular with them. These things, to- gether with the good name I had always borne in the regiment, induced the Colonel to take notice of Ino; and from that time I began to rise, until, finally, about ten years later, I was made orderly sergeant of my company. During this time, I had married as good a wo- man as ever lived, and had laid her in the grave in that far-off country. She left me one child, a girl, who was married, a few weeks ago, to a very good young man in England. In the year 1848, I was stationed with my re- giment at Cawnpore,. which is on the road from Calcutta to Delhi, and about five hundred miles from the former place. The garrison at this time consisted of the 24th Foot, and about four regi- ments of natives, or Sepoys, making, in reality, more than four of natives to every Englishman, for our regiment was at that time not qu4e up to the average strength. I never believed. in this arrangement, for it seemed to me too much like placing the whites at the mercy of the natives; but as the authorities were perfectly satisfied with it, and had full confidence in the Sepoys, I had to hold my tongue. Still I resolved to be on my guard. I had no faith in the rascals, .and I was determined that if they meant mischief they should find me prepar- ed for them. I tried to induce my comrades to be Tally vigilant, but to no purpose, and only got .myself into trouble by it. The Colonel sent for me one day, and reprimanded me shortly for it. I The Sepoys were perfectly trustworthy, he said and my conduct was only calcutated to pro- duce disaffection in the ranks of the whites,' and must be stopped. He was surprised, he said, that so good a soldier as myself should be guilty of such indiscretion. I justified myself as best I could, and told him frankly that I regarded the composition of the garrison as a direct invitation to the natives to massacre the whites. But he laughed at me, and told me to go back to my quarters , and behave myself 'better in the fu- ture. Of course, after this, I kept quiet; but my fears were by no means removed. Indeed, they grew stronger every day. I became almost a monoma- niac on the subject; and in place of being the cheerful, light-hearted fellow I had always been, I grew silent, nervous, and irritable. I account- ed for the change by telling those who questioned me that I was afraid I was becoming a dyspep- tic. As the time passed on, I kept a close,and con- stant' watch over the natives. Scarcely a move- ment of theirs escaped me. The garrison was so arranged that the white troops had possession of the magazine and the entrance to the citidal; but the excellence of this arrangement was mar- red by the fact that two of the native regiments were quartered within the eitidal, while the oth- ers were but a few hundred yards without. All of us used a common parade ground, and the na- tives were in constant possession of their arms and a supply of ammunition. The whites were thus, as it were, surrounded by the natives; and though we had the means of defending the en- trance to the citadel, and keeping out those al- ready beyond its walls, we would at the same time have to contend with the two regiments al- ready within the defences. You remember, reader, that the news of the mutiny took the rest of the world by surprise. - In India, some persons were prepared for it; but the majority were lulled by the false_aense-of se- curity. Towards the beginning of the .summer began to notice a change in the manner of the na- tive troops. Previous to this they had been qui- et, cheerful, and good-natured. Quiet they still remained, but the expression of cheerfulness and contentment began to leave them, and they be- came sullen and gloomy. They performed their duties with a scrupulous fidelity, but with an air that was very different from their old briskness and smartness. More than this, there seemed to be all)out them an air of expectancy that I had never noticed before. It was evident that some great change had come over them, and that it was not for good I was sure. Being on the watch, I was the first to notice these things, and my first impulse was to go to the Colonel and call his attention to the Sepoys. I hesitated a long time, however, and finally de- termined to wait. The Colonel had laughed at me once for my fears; and being naturally a sen- sitive man, I had no desire to encounter his ridi- cule again. I was very sure he wouldnot believe me, for I knew, from his careless, laughing man- ner when he spoke to me of my fears, as he fre- quently did, that he suspected nothing. He was, as the senior officer present, the commandant of the post. He was a good soldier in some respects, but he was too careless, too thoughtless, for so responsible a post. Poor man he paid dear for this fault. Well, I kept, as I have said, a close watch up- on the Sepoys, and every day my suspicions; be- came stronger. 1 *took the first opportunity to send my daughter to a brother of her mother, who was living in Calcutta; and to this precau- tion I owe her life. I found that the Sepoys were holding secret meetings in the city at night; and from this I was sure that the people in the town were in league with them. Still I delayed mentioning the matter to my officers. I tried to find out what I could about these meetings; but I suppose I made a botch of the job, for the blacks found out that I was watch•ng them, and once or twice I was fired at by some unknown person. This made rne more cautious; but now they had taken the alarm, I found it useless to attempt to penetrate their secret. I had never been very popular among them; and now I received from them, whenever I met them, many a look that made my blood run cold. Still no word or deed gave me any positive evidence which I could sub- mit to the Colonel; and as long as I could tell him only of my suspicions, I resolved to keep quiet. Some time after this I had a letter from my daughter, announcing her safe arrival in Calcut- ta. Her uncle, she said, had just returned from a business tour into the interior of the country. -- He was very much troubled. The natives were bent upon some mischief, he was sure, but he could not tell what it was. The ,Governor-Gen- eral, she said, was trying to solve the ystery, and it was not unlikely that some decisive steps would soon be taken, She begged me not to mention what She had told me, as she could not tell me how she came by such intelligence. This letter troubled me very much, Si it con- firmed my news respecting the natives, and had not my daughter been so urgent in her request to me to say nothing of it, I should- have spoken to the Colonel at once. But I thought, as the Gov- ernor -General's attention had been called to the matter, I might very properly keep quiet,for he would surely do whatever was necessary. That night I had a strange dream. I thought I was sitting in my quarters, reading my daugh- ter's letter, when I was suddenly surprised by ithe entrance of Colonel Somerset, who told me he had received orders to disarm the natives at once, as the Government feared trouble from them.-- dle wanted me to have my company thoroughly prepared, and enjoined upon me the necessity of cautioning them to keep silence on the subject. -- A parade would be ordered that afternoon, he said, and the whites were to come with their guns loaded with buck and ball. The natives were to stack arms, and to be marched off, on some pretext, to the end of the parade ground, when the 24th was to surround the stacked arms and prevent the Sepoys from taking them again. In this way the Co/tmel-, hoped to prevent mis- chief. The whole plan was revealed to me in my dream as minutely as I describe it to you. After this, I thought the parade came Off, as' had been ordered. The blacks were drawn up in a line, and the 24th with a. batteryof two guns, was placed on their right flank, and a little in front of them. Colonel Somerset, pale, but calm, sat on his horse in front of the line of natives, and in order to lull their euspicians, if they had any, put them through the manual exercise. In the loading, I thought I did not hear the ramrods ring clear in the barrels, and this struck me as strange, as they were not using cartridgea.- Then came the loud 'commands -- "Ready ! Present!" I saw the sunlight flash along the barrels of the guns, and the next moment the Sepoy line wa shrouded in smoke, and the crash of four tho nd muskets rang out on the air. I saw Colonel Somerset totter and fall from his horse, and saw, also, a dozen or more men fall dead in my regiment. Then, with a hideous yell, the Se- poys rushed at US with the bayonet, and before we had recovered from our surprise, they began the massacre. I could see the whole thing in toy cdrhieladm. as plainly as I see you now, and my terror was 80 great that I awoke trembling like a You can imagine my relief when I found I had only been dreaming; but the horrible vision haunted me throughout the day, and the next night I dreamed it all over again, and ,Ithe dream even came back to me on the third night. I now made up my mind to speak to Colonel Somerset; and I was leaving my quarters to seek an interview with him the next morning, when I received a visit from Lieutenant Wilson, our ordnance officer, and the person in whose imme- diate charge the magazine was then placed. "Sergeant," he said, in a low tone, after we had shut the door, and. made sure that no one was listeneng, "You told me some time ago that you had no confidence in the native troops. - Have your suspicions increased or died away since ?" The question, and especially the anxious tone, startled me. They have increased," I answered, "and I am going now to lay the matter before the Colo- nel. But why do you ask, sir ?" "Because," he replied, "something wrong is going on. Just now I made an inspection of the magazine, ad -would you believe it sergeant ?- twenty thousand ball cartridges are inissing!- Heaven knows how they were taken, but they have been taken. I am afraid the native troops have taken them and if my suspicions are cor- rect, these men Will give us trouble." "Save you said anything to the Colonel ?" I aaked, hurriedly and anxiously. "No," he replied; "I have just made the dis- covery, and as I chanced to remember your sus- picions, I thought I would question you before reporting the robbery. Let us go to head -quar- ters without further delay." We set off at once, and in a short time were admitted to the presence of Colonel Somerset. - We stated our business, the Lieutenant reported the loss of the cartridges, and I told him of nay suspicions, of my daughter's letter, and of the horrible dream that had haunted me for the last three nights. The Colonel listened with an anxious, troubled air, and once or twice I saw his face flush, and then grow pale. "All this is -very singular," he said, calmly, when I had concluded --"very singular, especially youfdream, sergeant, I was just going tcitend for your Captain and yourself, to give you your or- ders, as I cannot trust them to the ordinarij chan- nels. This morning I received instructions from Calcutta to disarm the Sepoys at once. The Gov- ernor-General apprehends trouble. I have or- dered a parade for this afternoon, and was about to summon the Captain and first sergeant of each company, to instruct them to inform their men privately to be prepared for an emergency, and to come with their guns loaded with buck and ball. So far, sergeant, your dream has come true. God grant that it may not be realized in every respect. The emergency is very great, and we must meet it at once. My instructions inform me that there is a very general discontent among the native troops, and that they will be disarmed at all the posts as soon as possible. Say nothing of your dream, sergeant, and both of you keep quiet as to the loss of the ammunition. Get your company ready directly, sergeant. I will fur- nish you quietly with a guard for the magazine, lieutenant. But, above all things, do nothing to arouse the suspicions of the natives. Now you can go back to your quarters, for I have a great deal to do." I cannot describe to you my feelings when- I left the Colonel's presence. The fact that a part of my dream had proved true made me wretched, for I was certain that the rest would also be re- alized. 1 se to work to prepare my company; for as the odds against. us were so great, it was necessary to be prepared for any resistenfe which might be offered; and this might be done only by informing the men of the exact nature of the service required of them. I was nervous and restless the whole day, for I was confident that my dream was to be carried out in full. I could not account for the dream; nobody Can account for such things in all cases; but I am quite satis- fied that I had not receiveved a false warning. At four o'clock that afternoon, the regiment as- sembled on the parade ground. There was a set- tled look of determination on the faces of the English, but the old sullenness and gloom were still to be seen in the countenances of the na- tives. I trembled like a child when I found that the Colonel had adopted the formation I had seen in my dream. The Sepoys were drawn up in line, and my own regiment and two pieces of ar- tillery were posted -on the right flank, and a lit- tle in advance of them. The Colonel himself sat on his horse in front of the natives; and, though his appearance was calm and composed, I could see that his face was as pale as death. The 24th was standing at the "shoulder arms," when the Colonel commenced to put the natives through the manual exercise. I listened eagerly, and when the command was given, "Ready! Pre- sent!" I cried, involuntarily, - "Steady, 24th! Ready! Present!" The Colonal turned around to me rn surprise, for the regiment had obeyed my command. As he did so, and before he could speak, a sheet of flame burst from the Sepoy ranks, the Colonel fell heavily from his horse, and I heard the balls whistle around me. Fortunately the fire did lit- tle execution among US, and my commands, to some extent, prepared ny regiment. "Twenty-fourth!" I shrieked in an agony, "the Sepoys have mutinied! Fire!" The regiment replied by a volley, which made the natives who were rushing at us with the bay- -onets, recoil; and just then the artillerymen, who had , recovered from their temporary dismay, opened upon them with their pieces. We had a hard fight, but we beat them off, and gained the citadel with the loss Of half our num- ber. We held out there until assistance reached us, and the Sepoys, finding they could not dis- lodge ns, retreated towards Lucknow, which was soon afterwards made memorable by 'the gallant defence of Outram and Havelock. I do not know, reader, whether you will believe this story, for it was a strange dream, that warn- ed me of the danger that hung over. U3. ; Yet I think it was not thrown away, for'it enabled me at least to give the commands which 1 did, and which I shall always believe were, under God, the salvation of our regiment. I got a sabre cut in the fight, from the leader of the Sei:ys. BJ was afterwards captured; and I had the pleasure of,blowing him from the cannon's mouth. He was a cruel man, and had his plans succeeded, would have massacredi the entire regiment. After the fight I have described, I served through the whole war, and was with Lord Clyde when he took Delhi._ VARIETIES. An Eccentric Chuck -Chucking an old maid under the chin. A ray that always lights up a woman's despair -Raiment. 'Adversity brings a man out -at the knees and elbows. Society is said to be nothing but a mixture of mister-ies and miss-eries. Why is the figure nine like a peacock? Because it's nothing 'without its tail. "We all owe something to our country," as Smith said when he asked remission of his income tax. Send your son into the world with good princi- ples and good education, and he will find his way in the dark. "Talk of climate!" said a perspiring punster, "the thermometer has got so high that it is im- possible to climb it." Use the means within your reach; there is something for everybody to do, and a place for everyone who is willing to work. The fashion s -le color for gloves in Paris is a - pearl grey, wi '; out stitching. and with four but- tons for dri u taro for promenade gloves. An Irish girl having been sent to the post of- fice for the mail came back to enquire whether it was Indian male or corn male that was want- ed. ° To be happy, the passions must be cheerful and gay, not gloomy -and melancholy. A propen- sity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow, real poverty. - "What is the best attitude of self defence?" said a pupil, putting on the gloves to a well- known pugilist. "Keep a civil tongue in your head," was the significant reply. A correspondent wishes to know if young la- dies who like too see their own reflections in the mirror, are properly described as being "a little too fond of their glass." - An impertinent fellow askedi, a gentleman at a public gathering why he had shaved off his side whiskers, and was answered th'at, to meet some men, he required more cheek. • It was said of a belle, in the habit of wearing low-necked dresses, who recently carried off a matrimonial prize,' in the shape of a rich old widower, that "she won the race by a neck." A cat licked the face of a lady in New York and died a few Minutes thereafter from the paint which he gathered from the rosy cheek. Let all young men take warning from this sad cat-as- trophe. A Fienchman, writing a letter M English to a friend, looking in the dictionary for the word "preserve," and finding it meant to pickle, wrote as follows: "May you and. your family be pickl- ed to all eternity." "My dear," said the sentimental Mrs. Wad- dles, "home, you know, is always the dearest spot on earth. "Well; yes," said the practical Mr. Waddles, "it does cost me about twice as much as any other spot,." An honest reputation is Within the reach of all men; they obtain it by social virtues, and by do- ing their duty. This kind of reputation, it is true, is; neither brilliant nor startling, but it is often the most useful for happiness. "Lenny," said his maiden aunt, "you should eat the barley that Is in yoar soup, or you'll never get a man." Lenny, looking up innocent- ly, enquired, "Is that what pea eat it for, eh ? aunty." A little boy of six summers, not being tired of his' holidays, asked his father if he and his little brother might stop another day from school, and upon being refused went away with the impa- tient exclamation, -`‘Mean old thing !" "Mamma," said a little girl to her mother, "do you know Ive I get to bed quick?" "No," was the answer. "Well," said she, in great glee "I step one foot over the crib, and then say 'rat,' and frighten myself right in." As sometimes small evils, like invisible insects, inflict pains, and a single hair may stop a vast machine, the chief secret lies in not suffering tri- fles to vex one, but in prudently cultivating an undergrowth of small pleasures, since very few great ones are of long duration. A. case of feminine driving is related of a Vir- ginia belle, who rode to the edge of a precipice, and defied any man to follow her. Not a man accepted the challenge; but a tantalizing youth stood on his head in the saddle and dared the lady to do that. Two dalifornian barbers quarrelled and arrang- ed a duel. They were to walk around a block in opposite directions, and each was to fire at sight of his antagonist. They started, and as soon as the block intervened each took the shortest cut for home, complaining that his adversary did not come to time. In the absence of any other messenger, a colo- nel sent word to a band by a surgeon, that some music was wanted. "Can't blow a note," said the drum -major, "for we haven't had anything to eat yet." "No excuse, at all," said, the doctor; "blow away, there's always plenty if wind in an empty stomach." A Parisian lady recently called on her milliner to enquire the character of a servant, which proved satisfactory. "But is she honest?" asked the lady. "I am not SO certain about that," re- plied the tnilliner; "I have sent her to you a doz- en times, and she has never yet given me the money." If a cat doth meet a cat upon the garden Wall, and if a cat doth greet a cat, uh ! need they both to squall? Every Tommy has a Tabby waiting on the wall; and yet she weleomeithis approach by an unearthly yawl.- And if a kitten wish to court upon the garden wall, why don't he sit and sweetly smile, and not stand up and bawl, and lift his precious back up high, and show his teeth and moan, as if 'twere colic more than love that made the "fellar" groan. The following description of a base ball pitcher in action will be appreciated by all who have .watched this important member of -the nine ,:- "Onreceiving the ball he raises it in both hands until it is on a level with his left eye. Striking an attitude, he gazes at it two or three minutes in A contemplative way, and then turns it around once or twice to be sure that it is not an orange or a cocoanut. Assured that he has the genuine article he then winks once at the first baseman twice at the second baseman, and three times "at the third. baseman, and after a scowl at the short stop and a glanee at the home plate, finally deliv- cmi ears thoenbaho. alitwith„ the precision and rapidity of a