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The Huron Expositor, 1870-07-15, Page 1ON'S ,CK, OF ee s R.T.IIENT OF NC s DONE IN A FIRST ACCORDING TO - - ANY OTHER SUIT KR& 115— rITH TSON neat of all kinds . of - FURNITURE UE TABLES,. MATTRASSES, T •TABLES, rEADS, In Great Verity. idence fn offeling his e are made of Good y First -Class Work - :TO ORDER. t Notice. RNi G esnatell- ; S SHARP'S - HOTTITe ',met 57-tf. FTER OF e VENT. 7GIVEN, that reran- Oed in me as Assignee nt, all roy right, title, lends anel premises, ell be told by -action! e. GEORGE ).fL TRUE; ..oderiela Co, Huron, ILLY 27 1870 LVE O'CLOCK, tain parcel. or tract of lying and heiug in the - McKillop 3 MR, awl ProvMee of ,g compoaed of 1 of Lot-INo. 27, the said Towns14. *1 Proper6- cols- iasurement i, ' BE THE SAME LESS, re cleared.; The land 'elite.% The buildings House about 18 x 28 chen attached, and a There is also a good raises. The property ile am, . a haaf from the eth. 'or further par - nee, or to. : B. OORDON, Solicitor. Goderich, •.iMoney ved anather large re- investraent on good ; or 10 per cent, and FIN S. PORTERs : 9541. a WM. F. LUXTON, VOL 3, NO. 32, BUSINSS CARDS — MEDICAL. 11 TRACY, M. D., Coroner for the County of , Huron. Office and Residenee—One door Eastof the Methodist Episcopal Church. Seeforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 53-11r T__T L. YERCOE, M. D. C. M., Physieian, Surt geon, etc., Office and Residence, corner • of Market and High Street, immediately in rear (if Kidd & MeMulkin's Store. Seaforth, Feb. 4th. 1870. 53-1y, • DR. W. R. SMITH, Physibian, Surgeon, etc. Offices—Opposite )Teal's Grocery. Resi- elence—Main-street, North. Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863. 53-ly jCAMPBELL, M. D. C. M., (Gtaduate of Mc- . . . Gill University, Montreal) Physician, Sur - n, etc. , Seaforth • Office and Residence—Old ost Office Building, up stairs, where he will be found by night or day when at home. Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. 84-ly LEGAL. ID• F. WALKER. Attorney -at -Law and So- " licitor-in-Chancery, Conveyancer, Notary 'Public, Asc. Office of the Clerk of the Peace, +Court House, Goderich, Ont. NB.—Money to lead at 8 per cent on Farm Lands. Goderich, Jan'y. 28. 1870. 112-1y. As /CAUG HEY & HOLMSTE AD, -Barristers, .LVI Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and lniblvency, Notaries Public and Conveyanc- ers. Solicitors for the R C. Bank, Seaforth, .Agents for the Canada Life Assurance Co. V. 11-L1-$30,000 to lend at 8 per cent Farms, Houses and Lots for sale. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868. 534f. DENSON & MEYER, Barristers and Attorney. at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and insolv- ency, Conveyancers, Notaries Public, etc. Of- fices,—Seaforth and Wroxeter. Agents for the ' Trust and Loan Co. of Upper Canada,- end the Colonial Securities Co. of London, England. Money at 8 per cant, no commission, charged. JAS. H. BENSON, H. W. C. MEYER. Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. 53-ly DENTAL. G. W. HARRIS, L. D. S Arti ficial Dentures inserted with all the latest improvements. The greatest care taken fur the preservation of decayed and , tender teeth. Teeth extracted without pain. Rooms over Collier's Store. Saeforth. Dec. 14, 1868. 1 y. HOTELS. cl-OMMERC1AL HOTEL, Ainleyvill , James Laird, proprietor.; affords that -class acorn- raod.ation for the travelling public. The larder and bar are always supplied with the best the raarkets afford. Excellent stabling in connection A inleyville, April 23, 1869. 70-tf. Oisa'S HOTEL (LATE SHARP'S) The un- dersigned begs to thank the public for the liberal patronage awarded to him in times past in the hotel busmess, and also to inform them • that he has again resumed business in the Above stand, where he will be happy to have a call from old friends, and many new ones. • , THOMAS KONX. • Seaforth, May 5, 1870. 126-tf. R: ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, , begs to inform the people of Seaforth and the travelling communitygenerally, that hekeeps first-class accommodation in every thing required by travellers. A eood stable and willing hostler always on hand, °Regular Boarders will receive every necessary attention. •Seaforth, Feb. 8th, 1869. 63-1y. pRITISH EXCHANGE HOTEL, GoreenecH, _La Or, J. CALLAWAY, PROPRIETOR ; J S. WILL -rams, (late of American Hotel, Warsaw, N. Y.) Manager. This hotel has recently been new- ly furnished, and refitted throughout, and. is now one of the most cnrafertable and commodious in the Province. Good. Sample Rooms for Commer- cial Travellers.. Terms liberal. Godericia April 14, 1870. 123-tf. MISCEL.L4NEOUS.. HARP'S LIVERY STABLE; MAIN ST., SEAFORTPI. First Class Horses and Carriages always on hand at reasonable ternis. R .L. SHARP, Proprietor. Seaforth, May 5th, 1870. • 1AILL & CROOKE, Architects, etc. Plans 0 and Specifications drawn correctly. Carpen- ter's, Plasterer's, and Mason's work, measured and valued. Office—Over J. C. Detlor & Co.'s store, Court -House Square, Goderich. Goderich, April 23, 1869. 794y. & W. McPHILLIPS, Provineial Land Sur- veyors, Civil Ent,ineers, etc. . All meaner of Conveyancing done with neatness ancl dispatch. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in B. R. Office— Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seaforth. Seaforth, Dec, 14, 1868. 53-ly T S. PORTER, Seaforth, Ont,dealer in hides, . sheep skins, furs and wool. L;beral advance- ments made on consignments. Money to lend. Insurance agent Debts collected, Highest price paid for green backs —Office east side of Main Street, one door north Johnson Bros'. Hardware Store. 1224f. B HAZLEHURST, Licensed Auctioneer for _Lk the County of Huron. Goderich, Ont Particular attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt Stock. Farm Stock Sales attended on Liberal Terms. Goods Appraised, Mortaages Foreclosed, Landlord's Warrants Exeeut Also, Bailiff First Division Court for Huron. Goderich, June 9th, 1869. 76. tf, "Freedom in Trade—Liberty in Religion—.Equality in Civil Rights". SEAFORTH, FRIDAY, JULY 15, 1870. EDTIOR & PUBLISHER, WHOLE NO. 136. THE HAPPY HOMES OF CANADA. AFTER "THE STATELY HOMES OF ENGLAND," - Tho happy homes of Canada ! How beautiful they stand, Beneath umbrageous Maple Trees,.. The pride of all the land. Here summer smile benignant When winter's reign is o're And genial suns the fetters burst, •Which bound the ic y shore. The happy homes of Canada! • Where calm contentment dwells They cluster round the forest glades And in the sunlight dells. No din of dark sedition Is heard in hut or hall, But sounds of bustling industry •Witkwealth enough for all. The happy homes of Canada! Where sterling hearts preside O'er sweet and joyous " olive plants" In love and truth allied. , They tell of household duties, • Where peace hath ever reign`d— Nor want, nor woe, nor poverty Hath ever yet complain'd. •The happy homes of Canada! Begera the river side, '- Where old St. Lawrence wells his floods • In native pomp and pride. They tell the care worn mariner • Returning from they seas That England's flag triumphant, Still floats upon the breeze. The happy homes of Canada! • By rapid, rock, and stream, Amid the veid anderfpliage In peerless beauty gleam. Whilst the settler finds a svelcorne, With honest heartsto cheer, And weeps in tearful gratitude That faith hath sent him here. The happy homes of Canada! Where free from anxious care The mother trains her cherub bright In duteous daily prayer, And round the family ingle • Mid mirth and joyous glee - The youth may learn his country's.love For homes and altars free. ' The happy homes of Canada! • When Autumn shed'her store And fills her barns so generously With golden grain galore, • No legal minion wanders round To seize for landlord's rent For every man his landlord is.-- IncluFtrious and content. The happy homes of Canada! When wintet seals the lake And fills with icy snow, and sleet The gaily, glen and brake, Resound with mirth and jollity Miel winter's sternest roar, • Whilst thrift and self-denial Keep the wolf from every door. The happy lionses of Canada! Long may their virtues shine To form another diadem For Britain's royal line And may her blest DOMINION, Extend from shore to shore From where Pacific waters swell,--. • To sea-girCLabrador. . MAMMOTH TREE GROVE OF CALIFORNIA. This forest of gigantic trees iis situated in a smallyalley, near the head waters of the San An- tonio., one of thelargeet streams in central Cala- veras, California, and five miles east of the Falls of said stream, which are 150 feet in height and surrounded by the grandest of scenery. From Stockton, at the head of steamboat navigation, on an arm of the San Joaquin, it is in a straight line, but seventy iniles to the trees; by the stage road through Copperopolis, seventy-five miles. Two lines of daily stages run on this road the v,ear round. Leaving Stockton at 6 a.m., the viaitor as rives at Copperopolis by 11 the same morning. Leaving Copperopolis, at 1 p.m., by stage he pas- ses over the Bear Mountain range, through a pic- turesque little valley to Altaville, Angels, Valle- eito, and arrives at Murphy at 6 p.m. Here the fatigues of the journey, a lovely village, and a first-class hotel, invite rest for the night. He is but fifteen,miles front the Grove. The clistance is made in the -cool ofthe morning, in a conaforta- ble stage coach over a smooth a,nd well graded road • and by 10 or o'clock a.m., after a grad- ual ascent of 2,500 feet above Murphy's and 4,- 00 feet above the Bay of San Francisco, he isme- litating under the shadows of the " Washingtona if/entre. " This is the route taken from San Prem- ise() and the Bay region to reach the Grove. here is another stage route which runs from Lockton to San Andreas avoiding BearMountain lid which is seven miles longer than the precede ohe. A stage line also plies between Sonora, oltunbie,, and Murphy's—all the roads from the )uth and west converging at the latter place. rorn Murphy's upward the road is through 'a plendid forest of pine, cedar, and fir, internuxed ith willosv, alderi hazel, ash, the broad -leafed aple, am nd any Varieties of flowefing shrubs. The Grove Hotel contains room for the comfort - le accommodation for fifty or sixty guests, has billiard table, bar, verhandahs, parlors, ball om, the most pleasant sleeping apartments, and rnishes the beet fare at the table. It faces the rove, having the greater number of trees to the ft, looking from the verandah, and the two Sentinels "" immediately in front, about two ndred yards to the eastward. The valley in which this grove is situated con - ins of the cequo:ya trees, ninety-three, not inclu- ag those from one to tenyears' growth. There e also hundreds ef sugar and pitch trees of as- nishing proportins, ranging to the height of o hundred and seventy-five feet, and haVing t unfrequently a diameter of from ten to eleven da half feet. Anywhere else those pines would regarded as vegetable monsters. Here by the e of the Sequoya, they look like dwarfs. Dur - the sumtner aisd spring months this valley is mpt from the heat of the lower country and ns the cold of the snow range. Vegetation orns early in May, remaining fresh 'and green il the middle of October. The water is always e and cold, find the hotel furnished with ice through the summer and auturune Snow falls alleaabout the middle ef December, and dis- 2 c 5 a il sc rn ab a ro fii le hu ta da. ar ,to tw no an be sid ing exe fro blo unt pur all 118U appears entirely from the Grove by the middle of April. There is good hunting grounds in the vicinity - -mountain quail abundant arid near by, and on the Stanislaus, three miles distant grous and dear abound. The San Antonio contains trout of fine • size. Delightful horseback or buggy rides con- duct the visitor to many interesting points of sce- nery, or objects of curiosity, among which,' be- sides the falls of St. Antonio, may be mentioned the Basaltic Cliff on the North Fork ef the Stan- islaus river, and the Cave at Cave City, nine miles to the west. 1 NOTABLE TREES AND GRA:t(TPS, The Grove contains ten trees ea0i thirty feet • in diameter, and over seventy that ere between fif- teen and thirty feet.. Hittelt, in hi "Resources of Calitornia," says, "one of the trees, .which is down---' The Father of. the Forest 1- nuist have been four hundred and fifty feet in diameter." In 1853, one of the largest trees, ninety-two feet in 'circumference and over three hundred feet high, was cut don. Five men worked twenty- five days in felling it, using large augers. The stump of this tree has been smoothedoff, and now easily accommodates thirty-two dancers. Theat- rical performances have been held upon it, and in 1858, a newspaper,—The Big Tree _Bulletin—was• . printed there. Near the stump lies a section of the trunk; this istwenty-fivefeet in diameter 4nd twenty- five feet long; beyond lies the immeilsetrunk as it fell, measuring three hundred and two feet from the base of the trunk to its extrerrilty. Upon this was situated a bar -room ad tea pin alley, stretching along its upper surface for a distance of eighty-ona feet, affording ample space for two alley beds, side by side. About eighty feet from this stump. *ands the "Two Sentinels," each. over three hundred - feet high, and the larger twenty-three feet in diame- ter, which has been named "Old Dowd," in lie- nor of the discoverer of the Grove, which disco- very was made in 1852. Starting from the hotel for the walk that visi- tors generally- take, entering the .grove by the left hand pathway, after walking one hundred and twenty yards, we come to the first cluster of the Sequoyas. They are on our left, close at hand and were named respectively in 1865, U. S. Grant," "W. T. Sherman," and "J. B. McPher- son," after three leading Generals in the Union Army. To the right and southward thirty yards from these is a group of unnamed trees. Sixty yards east of " Greet " and " Sherman " is the "Pride of the Forest,". formerly named " The Eagle." It is eighteen feet in diameter, and three hundred feet high, and altogether one of the healthiest and noblest trees in the forest. Near by stands "Phil. Sheridan," a stout, grace- ful tree, three hundred feet high; and near this lies the "Miner's Cabin" which was blown down by a tcreific gale, November, 1870., it is three • hundred feet long, and twenty-one and a half in diameter. Seventy yards east of the "Miner's Cabin " brings us to the "Three Graces," a group of three trees close together in a straight line, re- garded by many as the most beautiful cluster in grove. Fifteen yards north of the "Three Graces " stands Andrew Johnson," so named early in the, summer of 1865. • Making this a cen- tral point Of observation, to west twenty paces is "Florence Nightingale," originally "Nightin- gale," to which the word Florence was added in 1865, by an admiring nephew of the English lady whose name the tree aoseelsears. Thirty paces to the eastward of (A. J.) is the 'Bay State," and fere- ty yards north, "W. C. Bryant," so named in 1865, by a lady admirer of that distinguished American poet. To the left of Bryant," twen- ty feet, is Wm. H. Seward." After passing "Seward," is the "Pioneer's Ca - (so named from the -chamber and chimney runk exhibits?) one of the largest of the trees. he west of this forty yards, are two beauti- equayos, say seventy-five years old, of beau - and vigorous growth, two feet in diameter, ne hundred and forty feet high. uth of the "Pioneer's Cabin, ' seventy yards e centre of the grove, is a tree two hundred ighty feet high, seventeen in diameter, sin ly hollowed out on one side by a fire, AI1(1 d "Pulto's Chimney." The " Chimney " by the fire on the north side, and extends the ground ninety feet upward. A hundred orth of the "Pioneer's Cabin," stands the artett " Cluster, the highest of which is two red and twenty feet ; and fifty yards . east s is a healthy young treethirteen feet in ter, two hundred and eighty feet high, nam - 1865 by a San Francisco lady, ,"America." been well named. • lity yards east of the "Pioneer's Cabin," the right, the other on the left ofthe path, California" and. "Broderick," so named in Originally they were "Ada" and "Mary.), ext tree is Henry Ward Beecher.," two ed and eighty feet high, and fourteen feet meter. w steps farther brings us to the "Fallen ch," the base section of a huge trunk, has, to all appearance, been down for cen- It is still eighteen feet in diameter, all the bark and much of the wood have - sated by time. What is left is. perfectly ; but the upper half or two-thirds, which - the earth with greatest force in its fall has ppeared, and trees nearly a century old wing svhere it struck, This tree must have ver three hundred feet high, and twenty - diameter. Fifty paces east of this i the t " now named "Abraham Lincoln." It een feet in diameter, and three hundred enty feet high—sound from root to top. ndred yards irons this is a tree which has amed " Elihu Burrit." The next . tree pieces to the right of the path, is 'Uncle Near it stands "Alta (Upper) Califor- id fifteen steps north of this is '" Union." and right on the trail, comes "General orth,' named in honor of the noble sol- o was slain in Grant's campaign against nd. This cluster contains twelve trees, of the second class—averaging fifteen feet eter, end two hundred and sixty feet in The "Mother of the Forest," ends the ard course of our walk, and here the path wards the hotel. -This tree has been of her bark for one hundred and sixteen yard from the gronnd. It is of course, d the top limbs are beginning to fall. — e top a small tree, supposed to be a sugar as taken root in the body of the" Mother," arently intent on coming t� something. [other "is three, hundred and twenty-sev- igh, and without the bark, seventy-eight ircuinfetence. North of the "Mother," bin,' itst Tot ful S tiful and o S_o in th and e gular name naade • from. feet n • Qu hund of thi 'diame ed111 It has Eig one oi are " 1865. Then hendr in dia A fe Mallar which tuties. though been w sound struck all disa are gro be n o fis e in 'lIermi is and tsv One hu been n twenty Seine ' nia," at Next, • Wadsw dier wh .Richmo in size, .in diam height. northw turns to stripped feet ups dead, an Near th pine, h. and app The " IV en feet h feet in c and outside of the inclosure, are " The Twins," end a nameless tree sixteen feet through and three hundred feet high. Fifty yards on the trail after it turns southward, "General Sutter," which di- viding thirtyfeet from the ground, forms two dis- tinct trees, each two hundred and eighty feet high. "Salem Witch." " Longfellow," "Prof. Asa Gray," and "D. John Torrey," (the two last named in honor of distinguished Ameri- can botanists), are next, all close together, and all fine trees. Fifty feet to -the west of these stand "The Trinity," three trees growing from one trunkthe circumference below the point of divergenee is sixty feet. One hundred feet from 'Longfellow' brings us amidst the family group. Standing near the up - rotted base of "The Father oft the Forest," the scene is grand and beautiful beyond description: the " Father" long since buried his head in the ask yet how stupendous even in his ruin! He measures one hundred feet in circumference at the base, and can be traced three hundred feet, where the trunk was broken by falling against aziother tree; it here measures sixteen feet in di- ameter, and according to the other trees, this venerable giant rnust have been four hundred and fifty in height when standing, A hollow charn- ber or burnt cavity extends through the trunk two hundred feet, large enough to drivethrough ; near to its base a never falling spring of water is found. Walking upon the trunk and looking up- on its uprooted base, the mind can scarce con- ceive its prodigious - dimensions; while on the oth- er hand towerhis sons and daughters, forming the most impressive scene in the forest.. Ninety yards east from this, and the same from the road, is a cluster of trees named, "Starr King,'' "Richard Cobden," and "John Bright!' "Starr King" is the highest standing tree in the group --three hundred and sixty-five - feet. "Daniel O'Connell" and Edward Everett" stand next south of this trio. They are young trees— say eight hundred years old—and quitevigorous. Midway of the trunk of the "Father" are "James King, of Wm." and "Keystons State." "Sir John Franklin" and "Dr. Kane' ars, close north of the "Father." They were so named in 1862 by Lady Franklin. Near "Dr, Kane" is the "Century," named in 1865111 honor of the.nota- ble "Century Club" of New York, of which the poet Bryant is President. -Ten feet from the "Keystone," close together, stand "Lafayette," and "F. F. Low." "Hercules" stretches his huge body across the • next path. This was a large tree standing in the grove until 1862, when during a heavy storm it fell. It is three hundred and twenty-five feet long and ninety feet in circumference. When standing "Hercules" leaned about sixty feet from perpendicular. A few pace&north of the roots of "Hercules" are the "Sequoya Queen" and her "Maids of Honor"—on each side of -the -Queen." "Sir Joseph Hooker,". "John Lindley,"(English botanist) and "Humboldt" stand together on the hill near the shattered top of "Hercules." Near these are two young Segnoyas, say sixty years old.—The "Mother and Son" are directly on our path on the right approaching the hotel. South of there, twenty yards. is an ancient fallen trunk, very large, and near to the east, on the hilheide, is an unnamed tree, three hundred feet high, and sixteen feet in diameter. Thirty yards north of the "Mother and Son" is "General 'Scott," three hundred and twenty-five feet high. The "Old Maid," sixteen feet in diameter, which fell toward her friend, the "Old Bachelor," Jan, stare, 1865, lies along the hill side all broken to pieces. The "Old. Bachelor" still lives. Near this on the hill side, stands "Kentucky." Tcse 'Siamese Twins,' 'Daniel Webster,' and 'Granite State;' are in a cluster, right on the trail. They are first-class trees in size, with an average diameter of twenty feet, and three hundred and five feet in height. The 'Old Republican,"Hen- ry Clay,' and Andrew 'Jackson,' and 'Vermont' next greet us. They are of the second class. Then comes the 'Empire State,' and 'Old DOMin- ion,' first class. The former is eighty-four feet in circumference. We next see 'George Washing- ton,' and 'Leaning Tower '—The first of these is iirst-class tree; the second is refnarkablefor its leaning at least one hundred feet from a perpen- dicular. , Emerging in the ppen space near the carriage road, we reach the 'Beauty of the Forest.' In this part of the grove close observation will de- tect a number of young trees—say from ten to three lunidred years—end from forty to two hun- dred feet high. They are all growing' finely, and paomise--barring accidents of wind'and fire—to be well brought up, middle aged trees of their kind, in about one thousand years. Andrew Johnson. • Andrew Johnson cense to Laurens Courts/House, South Carolina. in 1827, and remained there two years, working as a journeyman tailor. ,He came from Raleigh, N, C., where he • was Vern, and served his apprenticeship. While working at Laurens, he became engaged to a young lady in the neighborhood; and went out on Sunday mor- ning to ask her mother, who was a widow, for the hand of her daugnter. He told Governor Orr that he saw, by the old lady's manner, that she was not favorably disposed toward him. —It was late in the evening before he could rnuster up courage to "pop the question." When he did so, the old lady told him very plainly that her daughter should not marry a tailor,- and intima- ted that, she suspected he wanted some of her ne- groes. The young tailor -boy; and future Presi- • dent of the United States, was so much mortified at the rebuff he had received, that he determined to quit Laurens, and. he did so the next day. how unfortunate for the daughter was the ill - judgement of her mother ! Had she given her consent, her daughier might have been the ocu- pant of the White House, mistreas of ceremonies and fashion in 'Washington,. receiving and enter- taining foreign ministers and their ladies, instead of being as she is, the humble wife of a poor and obscure man. On the other hand, it might have disappointed the high destiny of the tailor -boy. Instead of being President of the 'United States he might be still pursuing his humble vocation. • But this is not very likely. It is a remarkable and most wonderful fact that Andreas -Johnson never went to school a day in his life! His father, who was a most worthy and excellent man, filling the Office of town constable in Raleigh, N. C. messenger of the Baiik and sex- ton of a cleurch, died when his son was only two years old. The family were left in poverty, and at the age of ten years Andrew was bound as an apprentice to the trade of a tailor. While work- ing as an apprentice some one came into the shop with a book of speeches, and read 011e of them to, the boys. This speech delighted Andrew John- son so much, that he determined to learn to read himself. The book was given him, and in this book, with the assistance of his fellow -apprentices, he learned his letters and learned to read; after that a book of some sort was ever his constant companion. His wife taught hina to write and cipher after they were married. In the mean time he must have bad is mind well sotred with a great l deal of useful reading.—Hineteenth, Cen- tury. VARIETIES. The bow of a ship is not evidence of its pate- • nese. No matter how low gold may get, it will never want friends. "Japanese rabbit, is a San Francisco dainty. • It is baked rabit, Whoever owes the shoemaker, can't say that • his sole is his own. What sort of an Asiatic has the largest nose ? An -nostril -Asian of course. However much a pawnbroker's shop may be crowded, it is always a loan -sum place. A dandy on shore is disgusting to many people, but a swell of the sea, sickens everybody. A gentleman observed to his wife, that she was beautiful, youthful, plentiful, and an armful. A Belleville poet by the name of Breeze is trying to raise the wind by the blast of a verse. A Chinaman having drunk too much liquor, said Rum not good, make Chinaman No. 1. fool." Medical Query.—When a person declares that his "brain is on fire, " is it etiquette to blow it out? • Tears at a wedding are only the commence- ment, of the pickles the young folks are getting into. The great friend of truth is time, her greatest enemy is prejudice, and her constant companion is humility. There are three companions with whom a man should always keetion good term;—his wife, his stoxnach, and his conscience. Of all the actions of a man's life, hia marriage least concerns other peopla, yet of all the actions of his life it is most meddled with. "My lad," said a lady to a boy carrying news. papers, "are you the mail boy ? "You: &tent think Iz'e a female boy, dOz ye?" • A Temperance lectmer was asked, " If water • rots the soles of your mots, what effect must it have ou the coat of your stomach ?" - Reflecting by a tallow, ,chandlier—Though a man be the mould of fashion, yet he ,cannot light himself to bed by the dip in his back• . The man who got wise by eating sage cheese has a brother who proposes to become skilfull in the fashionable dances by dieting on hops. A man advertises for "competent pergolas to undertake the sale of a new medicine," and adds that it will he profitable to the undertaker. An American paper has tide advertisement,— "Two sisters want washing?" Query How many besides the two sisters, want washing ?" "Young man, do you believe in a future state ?" "In course I doz, and what's 'more, I mean to en- ter it as 80011 as Betsy gets her things ready." Love letters once caused a lady to exclaim "When the devil is very desirous of deceiving a man or. a Woman, he alwa,ys puts a pen into their hands. Among the list of penalties for the regulation of Queen Elizabeth's house was the °following "That none toy with the maidens, on pain of fourpence." In a committee On the Factory Bill a witness from Dundee was asked, • "When do your girls get married!" He replied, "Whenever they can get a husband.,' A Yankee being asked to describe hi si wife, "Why, sir, she'dthake a_ regular fast, go ahead steamer, my wife would, she has such a wonderful talent for blowing up." A hungry Jew, paying particular attention to a ham was asked what he was saying to it. He replied, "I was saying, 'almost thon persuadest me to bea Christian'." It won't do to be so devoted to a -tender-heart- ed wife is to comply svilh her request when she asks you, "Now tumble over the cradle and break your neck, my dear; won't you ?" "Did your fall hurt you ?" said one Patlander to the other, who had fallen from the top of a two-story house. "Not in the least, honey, 'twas gtoppin' so quick that hurt 'me." There is nothing more touching in this life than to see a poor but virtuous young ma -n struggling with a weak moustache obstinately defying the agents and re -agents of development A Quakeress said recently to a friend, in refer- ence to the Quaker formula of marriage. "It is true I did not promise to obey when I got mar- ried, but I might as well, for I have had to do it since." There's our grandmother—a striking ins' tame • of why females should vote. She's paid taxes on a dog for the last ten years; and now declares she won't stand it any longer—She'll either vote or kill the dog, ."Whose pies are these; my lad?" "Why they belong to the; there big sow." •'No, I- mean who is their master. " Why, " again answered the lad, "that little 'un there : he's a buster on a fight, ain't he ?" A New York Sabbath School. teacher askea a youngyupil the meaning of "the Wages of sin is de' th' -The boy did not know what wages were, and was asked what his father got on Saturday night ? "Drunk," was the answer. A plate of apples,was being passed around,to a group of little children. There was a fine red one on the top which a littld girl took. "How very greedy you are," said her neighbor, "to take the largest! I meant to take that one myself:" "Madam," said a crosa-tempered physician to a patieet, "if won= were admitted to Paradise . their tongues would make it a Purgatory." "And some physicians, if allowed to practise there," re- plied the good lady,, " would soon makeit a des- ert." - A fellow was kicked out of our editorinl room, the other day, for impudently stating that .'he had seen in Germany a fiddle so large that it re- quired two horses to draw the bow across the strings, which would continue to sound for six week; !" A blacksmith hav:ng bein,, slandered was ad- vised to apply to the courts ror redress. He re- alied with true wisdom, "1 ehall sue nobody for slander; I can go into my shop and work out a a better character In six months than I could get ia a court -house in a year."