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The Huron Expositor, 1870-05-13, Page 1MAY G, 1870. CH ES. .!* rt, CLOCKS CLOCKS CLOCKS CLOCKS CLOCKS CLOCKS - a 'LOCKS • CLOCKS • CLOCK S 'CLOCKS - and BestiAsserted Stocks lend at M1R. COUNTER'S, EL'7.i., HOTEL. 31, iST0.' GOODS. AMPBELL ant Tailor, EB A CO TE STOCK —0 OODS FINERY STYLE ELL BE W RN FOR SUMER dENTS GOT TTP E,s-rI WORKMEN, _1%10 D 11 Al E IL 1370, E, US-- BUGGIES, L IMPLEMENT'S, and in Arawn by the herse, A large aait en hand. • And for first - KING &j0,1VBINGthatis the ).ry Oak, and other Lumber, ealkes, for Sale. 11-1y. dDEPS IA tk. can be effectually cur- -ng DR. CALDWELL'S gEMEDY. .See eircul- tea accompanying each LUMSDEN and E. CO Seaforth, and rs generally. FF, BENTLY & 00, Brougham, Put. 4 F. LUXTON, "Freedom in Tracle--Liberty in Re-ligion---Equality in Civil Rightsq. EDITOR & PUBLISHER. VIA,. 3, NO. 23, 'BUSINESS CARD'S. SEAFORTH FRIDAY, MAY 13 1870) WHOLE NO. 127. MEDICAL.. 11TRA_CY, M. D., Coroner for; the County of 4 Huren. Office and Residence—On door 'East of the Methodist Episcopal Church. Seaforth, Dec. 14th, 1868, 53-ly Ti- L. VERCOE, M. D. C. M., Physician, Sur - 1. _ 1. ,eon, etc., Office and Residence, corner of Market and High Street, iMmediately in rear • ef Kidd & McMulkin's Store. • '• Seaforth, Feb. 4th, 1870. 53-1y. -FIR. W. R.- SMITH,. Physician, Surgeon, etc. • Office,—Opposite Veal's Grocery. Resi- dence—Main-street, North. • Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1863.1„ 53- ly JCAMPBELL, M. P.10. M., (Graduate of „Mc - GUI University, Montreal) Physician,- -Sur- geon, etc., Seaforth, Office -and Residence --Old Post Office Building, upstairs, Where he -will be - found by night or day when at home.. - Seaforth, July 15th, 1869. •• 84-ly LEGAL • 1--) • F. WALKER, Attorney -at -Law and So- licitor-in-ChancerY, Conveyancer, Notary Public, &c. Office. of the Clerk- of the Peace, Court House, Goderich; Ont. . y ena at 8 per cent on Farra Lands.• But royalty marks your straight glances purely, • OUR MAY -DAYS. Dear Lottie, good wife, how well I remember That May when I found you the sweestest of queens, My- bachelor heart, like a half -dying ember, Revived at your presence, scarce out of your teens, There on the lawn the May -polo w.as lifted, Twined with arbutus and ever -green sprays; Through the fresh twigs a summer -light sifted, Filliug with splendor the early -spring-days. - On a thick carpet your throne uprose greenly, 'Whereon you sat crowned with white roses and leaves, • Knighting the youths with an air grave and queenly Accepting addresses and granting reprieves. - Another May came: again, dear, I found you A little shy woman as ever was seen, And under the moon, my arms close around you, You vowed with drooped head to be e y er my Queen. Our M ay -pole is prone, a red flag entwines it, Your throne is uncertain, your sceptre a broom, A towel your crown, and order resigns its Claims to ourprince in his freshness and bloom. You gravely hold court, and still have petitions From Biddy and Jennie, and three-year old Rate; Yon grant them reprieves, and calm their seditions, And have on these May -days receptions instate &Amen and hackmen, if not fairly knighted, Afe dubbed by your maidens most curious names; Crooked affairs (chairs an tables) are righted, _A.-nd butchers and bakers relieved of th N B —Mone to 1eir claims. Goderich, Jan'ar. 28. 1870. 11--ly. And sit a on your brow as of yore in your teens, My heart with its homage of years rests securely, Loyal forever, ray sweetest of queens. • a 'Trust and ars. Agents NI Houses Seaforth, /CA_UGHEY & HOLMSTEAD, Barristers Attorneys at Law, Solicitors in Chancere insolvency," Notaries Public and Conveyanc Solicitors for the R C. }lank, Seaforth for the Canada Life Assurance CO B.-830,000 to lend. at 8 per ceot. Parms. and Lots for sale. • • Dec. 14th, 1868: - • 53-tf. BENSON & MEYER, Barristersand Attorney at Law, Solicitors in Chancery and lnaolv: ency, Conveyancers, Notaries Public, etc. Of- fices,—Seaforth and Wroxeter. . Agents for the and Loan Co: of -Upper Canada, and thE Colonial Securities Go. of London, England. Money at 8 per cent ; no commlssion, charged. TAS. H. HENSON, H. W. C. MEYER. Seaforth, Dec. 10th 1868. _ - .53-ly . DENTAL 0 , ,..4,-,.. ifs; wastallig ,care tender Rooms Seaforth. G. W. HARRIS, L. D. S. Arti- azaaa - ficial Dentures inserted with all the latest improvements. The "greatest taken far tne preservation of decayed and teeth. Teeth extracted without pain. over Collier's Store. Dee. 14, 1898. ‘ ly. , HOTELS. j-10MMERC1AL HOTEL, Aialeyville, James • k_i Laird, proprietor-, affords first-class accom- .modation for the travelling public. The larder • • .and bar are always t applied with the best the markets afford. Excellent stabliog in connection Ainleyville, April 23, 1869.- . 70-tf. ._ liberal in that stand, from ••'• TTNOX'S the Seaforth, HOTEL ,(LATE SHARP'S) The'una dersigned begs to thank the Public for the patronage awarded to him intimes past hotel business, and also to inform them he has -again resumed business in the above where he will be ' happy to have a call old friends, and. many new ones. TFIONTAS ICNOX. May 5, 1870. - .126 -ti. JR. ROSS, Proprietor New Dominion Hotel, . begs to inform the people of Seaforth and the travelling community generally, that he keeps first-class accommodation in every thing required by travellers. A good stable and willing header always on hand, Regular Boarders -will receive every necessary attention. •Seaforth, Feb. 8th., 1869. 63-1y. -11p, RITISH EXCHANGE HOTEL, GoDEition, _LP ONT„, J. CALLAWAY,, PROPRIETOR 1- J. S. Waaeriams, (late Of American Hotel, Warsaw, N. Y.) Manager. This hotel has recently been new- ly furnished, and refitted throughout, and is now one of the most crtmfertable and commodious in the Province. Good Sample Rooms for Coinrner- cial Travellers. Terms liberal. Goderich, April 14, 1870. 123-tf. • MISCELLANEOUS. 0 HARP'S LIVERY STABLE, MAIN ST., 0 Saaaourn.; First Class Horses and Carriages always on hand •at reasonable terms. . • •• R, .L SHARP, Proprietor. Seaforth, May 5th, 1870. 3-tf— . . l.‘A AILL & citooKg, Architects, etc. Plans and Specifications .drawn correctly, Carpen- ter's, Plasterer's, and Mason's work, measured and. valued. Office --Over J. C. Detlor & Co.'s ' store, Crourt-House Square, Goclerich. Goclerich, Apri123, 1869. 79-1y. I G& W. Me -PHILLIPS, Provincial Land Sur- ( . veyors, Civil Ent,ineers, etc. All manner i of Conveyancing done with neatness and dispatch. G. McPhillips, Commissioner in B. R. Office— 1 Next door south of Sharp's Hotel, Seaforth. I Seaforth, Dec. 14, 1868. . • 53- ly . a i 1-- S. PORTER, Seaforth, Ont, dealer in hides, ( al . sheap skins, furs and wool. Liberal advance- - merits made on consignments. • Money to lend: a Insurance agent. Debts collected, Highest e price paid for green backs.—Office east -side of t Main = Street, one door north Johnson Pros'. 8 Hardware Store. •122-tf. . BIIAZLEHURST, i Licensed -Auctioneer fo n the County of Huron. Goderich, Ont t attention paid to the sale of Bankrupt p Farm Stock Sales attended' on Liberal b Goods Appraise& Mortgages Foreclosed, a Warrants Executed. Also. Bailiff n Paracular Stock. Forms. Landlord's _ irst Divijon Court for Huron. Godczich, June 9th, 1869. 76. tf, Indian Atrocities. The innocent child, who, but a few moments before, had quitted her home free as the summer's • breeze and blyth as the lark, ROW stood again at • the threshold a hopeless captive in the grasp of a relentless foe. •. • The mother, upon becoming aware of the pre- sence of the Indians, had run, in a Bert of parox- • ysm pf terror, a short distance towards the bush; but, seeing that they had captured her daughter, she turned again and met her at the door, • The Indians entered the house, taking the little "girl • with them. The almost distracted mother- fol- lowed with a bewildered determination to keep • near her darling as long as possible. With her helpless infant in her arms ehe seated herself be- 31de the terrified Rebecca, and endeavored to • tranquilize her own mind that she might be able to sooth her daughter's dreadfully excited fears, and to counsel her to the calmness and courage that had quite forsaken her own heart. Mr. Styres knew that either captivity or death was their inevitable doom. • Her acquaintance with the unhesitancy with which the savages were wont_ do dispose Of troublesome prisoners, made it appear to her highly improbable that they would encumber themselves long, if at all, with • her infant or herself. • Rebecca being young and vigoroueseeraed the only one of threc. whose life was likely to be long spared. The fond mother therefore, thresting aside thoughts of her own danger, occupied the brief interval in which they • were left comparatively to themaelves in entreat- ing her daughter to suppress as far as possible all outward manifestations of her personal sorrow, and to strive to conduct herself in such a manner as would be least likely to irritate her unfeeling captors. • When they .had cOmpleted their plundering, one of the Indians, tomahawk in hand, appreach- ed the unhappy mother. She thinking leas of her own safety than that of her infant, raised her Voice to plead for its life, but in vain.. Whilethe words of entreaty dictated by maternal affection -were still 'Upon her lips the murderous weapon • penetrated her brain. A second blow despatched the innocent baby, and mother and child fell to- gether lifeless to the floor. The horrified Rebecca was allowed' no time to mourn beside her slaughtered dead. Having fin- ished the bloody tragedy the savages took up their burdens, and driving the weeping heartsick chilcl before them, plunged into the wood. • While we shudder at recitals of Indian cruel- ties, let us recollect that white men had some- times surprized. Indian villages and slain the wives and children of the red men, and these un- tutored heathens believed that they were only ex- acting a just revenge for their own wrongs in thus retaliating upon the pale faces. 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,' was their law, and well would ithave been for both races if those who disclaimed such a rule of action had been always, in their dealings with the aborigines, actuated by the principles of the purer faith they professed. * * * * * * • On the third day they fell in with other bands of Indians. Unmistakeably they also were on their return after having been engaged in similar atroeities. • They had with them two white chil- dren, a boy nearly as large as Rebecca, and a lit- tle girl much smaller. • Each party having their bloody exploits to re- count, and their spoil to exhibit to the others, and probably feeling secure in their augmented umbers and the distance now intervening be - ween them and the settlements, they all en- amped and remained there for two days. The rest was very _much needed by the intimiated and, toil worn captives. They were suffer- ed to converse together, ,as soon as they were suf- ciently recovered from their weariness to be in - lined to move about, they were allowed to do 90, being only regnired to keep within sight of 1 their aptors. This companionship in misfortune af- orcled some solace to the forlorn little creatures. • While im'mediately beside the Indians they ad not dad lreto speak to each other of thedread- al events 'which had desolated their homes and ade them captives, fearing that they might be nderstood and subjected to worse_ treatment in onsequence. To be permitted to remove to the stance of even a few rods from the object heir terror, where they might speak t� each oth- without every word being overheard, was to be miserable children, pining for kindness and patliy, a highly prized privilege, - There they might pour into each others ears, e.pitiful tale of his or her individual _bereav- enti or personal sufferings, and find some relief o their over -burdened heart in talking Of the leasant homes s� suddenly changed to scenes of ood,—of the fond parents and loving brothers d sisters slaughtered before their agonized eyes .. from whom they had been so ruthlessly torn; and m such interchange of sympathy and commis- eration, how frequently do the afflicted experi- 0-4.4.2-211,CE,441.. • esnorcreansalleviation to the bitterness of unshared ow. This brief interval of rest, with the opportuni- ties it afforded to the little captives for the solace of conversation, soon- terminated. The Indians, seeming -to have accomplished whatever object they had in view in delaying there, after two days broke up their encampment and. resumed their journey. Rebecca and the boy had beth recovered some- what from their previous weariness during the suspension, of the march, and succeeded in keep- ing up with the train without much urging. But the rest_was productive of no improvement in the smaller girl—her strength did not seem to have rallied in the least. The hardships to which she had been subjected in the first days of her capti- vity had exhausted her powers of endurance Early in the day the delicate little creature began to lag behind. In vain the helpless little sufferer strove in obedienece to the by no means gentle re- minders of the guards to quicken her feeble footsteps. Before midday she tired down alto- gether. Poor child—where was now the fond father whose strong arms were wont to her . her along when tired ?—where the lovin'gimother whose gen- tle hatids ministered to her in her infant ailments, whose sweet i tones and tender caresses soothed fiI1 her little sorrows? Hardindeed, was the fate of the haplass little one, so early overwhelmed with a combination of woes that would have so sorely taxed the fortitude and endurance of ma - turn years. Her infant heart yearning for the accustomed endearments of her home and her frail body excruciated with pain and fast suc- • cumbing to the -ortures induced by fear, fatigue, hunger and exposure. No friendly hand stretch- ed out to aid her tottering steps, nor arm to shield her defenceless head. The hard-hearteci savages, who had reduced her to this extremity, finding her unable to proceecl any farther, would no longer encumber themselves with the utterly ex- hausted child. A blow from the tomahawk of one of the Indians, terminated at once her terri- ble sufferings and brief life; then theaparty pass- ed on their way indifferently, as if he had but struck down a branch that had. intercepted his progress. None bat her affrighted. companions in tribula- tion to cast a pitying Took upon the slaughtered victim, to heave a sigh or shed a tear in commis- eration of her sufferings. No weeping raother to close, with lingeringly -caressing touch, the eyes filled in death with, terror and anguish, or topress a last kiss upon the forever silent lips. No fath- er to lift, with aching heart, the delicate form of his darling from among the forest leaves upon which her life blood had -flowed, or to bury it out of sight. • • There, in the deep wilderness, unprotected by stick or stone, the lifeless little body was left to be devoured by beasts and birds that fed on car- rion. . • There, where the pure spring gushed from the hill -side and triokled down into the rippling stream -a -where bees hummed and gay butterflies ffitted about the wild flowers -where the grand old forest trees towered high towards heaven, and the merry birds sung their matin and vesper songs amid the lofty branches—where all else spoke of tranquility and ,enjoyment—there lay llthat ghastly evidence that sinful man had come Upon the scene to mar, with his evil passions, its quiet loveliness, and had left behind that gory proof of his kindred with. the first born of human kind. •-1 The London Universities Boat Race. The two boats are 'put exactly in line in. front of two anchored barges, between which there are • two sinall boats, in each of Which is a man hold- ing thestern of the racing boat. They lie with their oars dipped in the water, -while the starter asks three times, "Are you ready ?" and then shouts "Go." At the same instant all the six- teen oars rise as if moved y. the same power, and • dip again; and the race has begun. For the first fifty or sixty yards it could not be said that eith- • er boat had the advantage, but even that was im- portant; for every second, according to the popu- lar estimate, the chances of Oxford were considered to waver. When they had gone about 200 yards the bows of the Cambridge boat seemed to pro- ject the slightest in front ; a hundred yards -fur- ther and there was no doubt of it. • From that • moment, though any of a hund_Tecl mistakes or accidents might have altered. the whole race, and though it seemed anybody's race until a quarter of a mile from home, there was no change of po- sition, except that Cambridge inch by inch in- creased its advance. As good fortune or skill thus seemed to smile upon Cambridge, the excite- ment of the spectaters was intensified.-. Both the dark and the fair girls dressed in blue grew fran- tic.. On some of the lawns, the ladies in the dark blue were seen to wring their hands and half avert their eyes from the depressing spectacle; whilst those in the lighter colour ecstatically waved their handkerchiefs,many of them scream- ing and even leaping intheir joy. On they went, with no perceptible change in • their position, amidst a tremendous and continuous- roar from the huardreds of thousands—more than one mil- lion, it is calculated—who covered the boats, the bauks, and the trees throughout the nearly five miles of the course. Oxford, who. ha.dwonthe toss for the choke of sides, chose the south, or Surrey side, which has not been the usual choice. There was, at least at the first, little apparently to choae between the efficiency of the two styles of pulling, though after a while there seeraed some little weakness or irregularity on the starbeard side of the Oxford boat, one of the rowers in par- ticular pulling with his head drooping and aside _in -a mariner which indicated, if not fatigue, at least a want of style and harmony. On the oth- er hand, the Cambridge hoat seemed rather wild- ly steered, though perhaps the coxswain aimed to keep near themiddle of the stream and the strength of the tide, which was still. He seemed to go too far to the north, and so to.lose ground or water at the bends of the river, all of which, in the first part of the course, are to the south. The :sight at Hammersmith Bridge was very gratelfronathe enormous masses of People collected upon the structure, and the fierce excitement they showed • in they contest. The Cambridge boat shot the bridge with about three-quarters of a boat's length of 'advance, and this is considered, not in- deed to give any certainty, but to turn the chances in favor of the leading boat. The in- stant the boat shot the bridge, carrier pigeons flew up to carry the tidings to distant places, and after hovering for a moment, confused by the yells, darted off to all parts of the compass. Af- ter this, though it could not be plainly seen, the Oxford got nearly level with the Cambridge, and the race was very even to within a mile of the winning flag at Mortlake. If Oxford was then able to put on anything worthy to be called a spurt, it was not, visible to the Steamers immedi- ately in their rear, and certainly for the last quar- ter of. a mile it seemed certain to the crews as to the spectators that barring accidents, Cambridge would win, though with not ;very much in hand. When the firing of a gun announced that the fin -boat had been passed, and the race won, the shOuting was deafening'but it was pleasant to hear the English love offairplay and pluck find- ing vent in shoutswOf "Well rowed, Oxford," as the defeated boat paddled slowly backwards. The great boat race of 1870 was a spectacle not only thrilling for the moment, but which, worth- ily or unworthily, wiltlive in the memory. - Time, as taken by Benson's -chronograph :— Start, . .5 hours 13 minutes 40 seconds 5-10ths. Arrival, 5 " 34 10 •8-10ths. • Duration of race, 21 minutes 30 seconds 3-10ths. 'Difference in favour- of Cambridge, three-quar- ters of a length. • Duration of race, 1869, 20 min. 6 sec; 5-10ths. " 1868, 20 " 37 " 1867, 22 " 39 " _ Oxford and Har - yard four -oared. 1869, 22 36 5-10ths. • 4* • OD' • Sergent Davy. Sergent Davy was the - originator of one ex- • pression that has been attributed to many a clear- er lawyer. Lord Mansfield was not attached to religious holidays. He even ordered the doors of his court to be thrown open on Ash -Wednesday. The disregard of Lent was by no rocans pleasing to many. But, emboldened by success, it is said that the Chief Justice proceeded to suggest bus- • iness on Good -Friday,. He announced this very eccentric intention in court probably on Thurs- day. But Sergent Davy upon. this addressed the peer on the instant, and told him if it were so, his lordship would be the first judge that 'ohad done it since Pontius Pilate. That anecdote 18, therefore, at least one hundred and ten years old. In humor Davy was quite a match for the Chief Justice, who was by no inea.ns skilled in the .higher principles of law. He one day broke out, against the Sergent with this gibe: "If this be law Sir, I must burn all my books,. I see" Your lordship had better read them first " rejoined Davy. He once had a ver large brief with a fee of only two guineas at the ack of it. His client asked him if hehad read is brief. He pointedwith his finger to the brief, and said: "As far as I have read, and for -the life of lite 1 can read no further," he was engaged at the'Old Bailey, and a very strong case having been1 made out, Judge GOuld asked who was concerned for the prisoner; uPori which Sergent Davy, said, "My Lord, I am concerned for him, and very much concerned after what I have heard." • Once when he was called to account for taking silver from a client, and so disgracing the pro- fession, he replied, "1 took silver because I could not get gold ; but I to* every farthing the poor fellow had in the world, and I hope you don't call that disgracing the profession." This anecdote has since been appropriated by many a good man, but it's Davy's. It once fell to his lot to question a man closely who offered himself as bail. Sir, said the Sergent, "how do you -make out that you are worth £3,000 ?" • The geatleman stated the par- ticulars of his property up to £2940. "That's all very good, but you want £60 more to be worth £3000." "For that sum," replied the gentle- man, • by no means disconcerted, "1 have a note of hand of one Mr. Sergent Davy, and I hope he will have the honesty soon to settle it." The laughter of ehis extended to the bench, the Ser- gent looked abashed, and.LordMansfidci observed in his usual urbane tone, "Well, brother Davy, I think we May accept the bail." ---From "Old English Lawyers," by W. A. Seaver, in _Harper's Magazine for - May. • • Literal Interpretation The Lancaster (Pennsylvania) Examiuer and Herald gives an account of a singular case of re- ligious hallucination, resulting fatally,' which oc- eurred in East Lampeter Township, in that cotm- • ty, on Saturday last. A young man named Ja- cob Harnish, aged seventeen years, has for some • time past been deeply exercised by the subject of religion'and he spent his spare moments in read- ing the Bible. On Saturday he and a brother were engaged together harrowing a field. At noon they unhitched and fed the horses. Jacob was observed. to go to a wood -pile and pick up an old axe and examine it, without, however, isaying anything that might lead to suspicion that he intended injury to himself. Tha rest of the family went to dinner. and Jacob not making his appearance, his mother went in search of him, when she found him _Wing at the wood -pile cover- ed with blood, and one of his feet lying some twelve feet from him.. He was at once Carried to the house, arid Drs. Jacob II. and J. Harry Musser sent for., who arrived about two hours after this occurrence. The tourniquet was ap- plied to the limb, which checked the hemorrage, but • the patient was so exhausted oy the loss of blood that it was found. necessary no -wait three hours before amputating the limb—an operation found to be necessary to reach the blood vessels which had contracted. The operation was then accomplished without further 'flow of blood, and. the boy appeared to be doing well for a few hours, when he expired suddenly. When asked why he thus mutilated his per- son, he replied that it was necessary -to the sal- vation of his soul, as Christ had commanded, that "If thy hand or foot ofiend thee, cut it off and cast it from thee," It appears, that after ex- amining the axe at the wood -pile he got anotter ' one which was sharper, and which he used; andafter taking off his boot and stocking, he put his leg on a block, chopping off th.e:foot at three blows. The first cut was made transversely on the -lea and severed bothbones a few inches above the walk ; the second, ,which was in a diagonal direction, and a little higher, also cut off both bones, the third completely severhig the fibres of the mucle by which the foot still adhered to the leg. • After the foot had been cut off he de- liberately picked it up and hurled it some feet from him. The father of the young man who thus committed self-destruction is a well to-do farmer, and does not belong to any church. The deceased was not a member of any denomination, though he occasionally attended the Mennonite Church, located in the vicinity where the melan- choly affair occurred. As might be expected, the affair has created a profound sensation in the neighborhoodin which it -transpired. ' • fa ow • Josh Billings says there is nothing more touch- ing.in this life than to setva poor but virtuous young man struggling with a weak moustache. VARIETIES. In Indiana a barber has been mulcted in 75 dollars damages for cutting a customer's hair too short. Why is a lady in ball - costume like a loco- motive ? 'Because she invariably draws a trait after her. Why are doctors always bad characters ?—Be- cause the worse people are, the more they are wiAth pthitetinimr g editor defiantly declares Idraself 'at all times ready to yield a trenchant blade in a discussion syllogistically conducted.' `I know every rock on the coast cried an Irish pilot. At that moment the ship struck, when he exclairaed, 'and that's one of them.' Sure Enough. --all you want a policeman, it's ten to one you won't find him ; but if you don't want him, it's a hundred to one he will find you. A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a, high mountain—everything appears small to him, and he appears small to every- body. - The Manx Sun says that during a recent trial inthe Isle of Man, the jury were addressed. by counsel and judge for a period of twenty-nine hours and fifty-fiye minutes ! On a tombstone in a churchyard in Ulster is engraved the following :—`Erected to the mem- ory of John Phillips, accidently shot as a mark • of affection. by his brother.' Le Figaro of Thursday says that an English vi- sitor to Tours, finding the house of Balza° occu- pied by a dentist, had a tooth drawn for the as- sociation of the spot A lady was recommending to a gentlemana medicine foil.' the gent. 'I know manywho praise it to the skies,' she said. `No doubt madam,' he said, 'for it has sent many to the skies to praise Senator Mye'of Minnesota, carries in his pock- et -book a note the late President Lincoba written in pencil on the fly -leaf of a book, which runs as follows: Dear -General, come up to -night and swap jokes.—Lincoln.' In Liverpool; a lecturer stated that the milk of the as was the most nutritious that could be procured, and one reciepe he heard of for manu- facturing ass' milk, Was to boil cow's milk with cornrown garden snails' A member of the Wyoming Legislature, seek- ing to sustain a point of order, jerked_ his coat off, with, "Mr. Speaker, if some reliable man will hold these duds, Pll teach him that he's out ef order.' The point was sustained. "Jim," said one youngster to another, on the Fourth, "Jim, lend me two cents, -will yer ? I got up so early that I spent all my money be- fore breakfast I didn't think -the day was going to be so long." • A New View of It.—The heathen emblem of the snake holding it's tail in it's mouth has always been explained to mean "Eternity." We should think it typical of " Life" rather, as •a eontin- nal effort to make both ends meet. 'How much water do you put in your milk 9' asked a Pittsfield man of a boy who delivers milk on one •of the milk routes. We don't put any water in it,' replied the boy: 'What do you put in it then?' 4 lee r said the candid youth. 'The boy at the head of the class will state what were the dcti-k. ages of the world.' Boy. hesi- tates. 'Next—Master Smith, can't you tell what they dark ages were 'I guess they were the ages just before the invention Of spectacles.' "Go to your seats.' • A police notice has been issued -in France-, in- forming the public of the danger of using paper coloured green _with - soluble arsexdtes, and warn- ing the manufacturers that, in the event of in- jury from the poison, they will be subject to pro- secution. •= - Mr. Carlyle's religion..a-To settle a controver- sy about Mr. Carlyle's religion, Mr. J. E. Doug- las, of Hartepool, wrote to him, and asked point blank --:'Are you a Pantheist ?' This is the au- thor of `Sarter's' reply—: `No, never was, nor Potheist either.• For the rest, never mind these poor people. So far as they don't mean well, the: damage is all their own—T. C. (7th March 1870.)' Mr. M was a queer genina. A neigh- bor found him at work one morning at an enor- mous wood -pile, Sawing away for -dear life with an intolerably dull saw. Why don't you sharp- en your saw, Nat?' •asked the neighbor. Look- ing up with an inimitably droll expression, 'I should think I had work enough to do to saw up this wood -pile without stopping to sharpen saws.' Two Scotchmen, turning the corner of a street rather sharply, came into collision. The shock was rather stunning to one of them. He pulled off his hat, and laying his hand on his forehead, exclaimed: `Sic a blow! my head' s a' ringing again.' 'Nee wonder,' said his companiOn ; your head was aye boss' (empty); that makes it ring.' 'My head disna ring a bit. 'How could it ring.' •said the other,' 'seeing it is era,ckit ?' A good storyis told of i boy at Eton who was always reckoned. a great donee, and more disposed to play cricket than 4Lempriere.' Orae day in class he manifested intense anxiety to answer the question, 'Name the three Graces,' and on yielding to the young gentleman's pertin- acity, the master, was astonished to receive the following eager answer. M. Grace, W. G, Grace, and G. F. Grace' (the famous eiricketing brothers) . My. Lovin Wife : Ime icomin ome nex week an havforgiv II for jawin me. Ile come on the 7 o'clock trane and shal stay ome hereafter & tri to be an alliered man. I want peace an so do yew, why shouldn't we lily each utheras we used ter when we first jined together in the wholly bands of rnadlock. Ive jined a 'temperance soci- ety but if 'Jiver jaw me agin for comin ome late i'll wollap II like 6ty fur we must bay peace as grant ses. A sharp wheat buyer in Solana county, Cal- ifornia seeing quotations slightly advanced, tel- egraphed to the Bay to know if he should buy at quotations. The answer came—'No price too high? On the strength of the omisoion of the comma, he 'pitched m and bought 200 tons, which he was obliged recently to sell pocketing loss of one dollar per ton. A comma after 'No' would have sated him all that loss. So much for punctuation,