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The Ontario Society for Crippled Children, aided by 150 service clubs, sees that every crippled
child in Ontario in need of attention gets it. Here a patient chats with his sponsor, Robert
Thompson and Lindsay Scott, chairman of the crippled children's committee of the Hamilton
Shriners. The Society's :Easter Seals appeal for funds continues until April 9. Donations may
be sent to Timmy, Toronto.
W
hen They Opened
The Erie Canal
Finally, the Erie Canal ... aston-
ished the zorld, for it was an under-
taking of such magnitude that the
like of It had hitherto been accom-
plished only by the greatest empires
nt the Old World and by means of
dhe labor of slaves,
It is but natural, therefore, that
the unigtie spectacle of the celebra-
tion of the opening of the great
waterway., upon a stage stretching
from Buffalo to New York, before
an audience composed of a large
part of the population of the state,
should appeal to English artists in
search of American views, and that
their sketches should be used to,
decorate the pottery of Stafford-
shire, It is with pride, mingled
with wonder and no little amuse-
ment, that one reviews the story of
the opening celebration, as it is re-
corded in the old china illustra-
tions.
1'he celebratiun began.at Buffalo,
the junction of the canal and Lake
;Erie, continued at each little hamlet
and city along the banks, culminat.
irg at las, in a blaze of glory and
patriotism as the waters from the
Great Lakes were mingled with the
Atlantic in New York harbor. No
resplendent Doge of Venice, stand-
ing upon the prow of his gayly be-
decked Bucanitaur and casting the
jewelled ring into the waters of the
Adriatic, thereby symbolizing the
marriage of Venice to the sea, was
ever more proud than was Governor
Clinton as, standing upon a primi-
tive carnal boat draped with the
Stars and Stripes, he poured a barrel
of Lake Erie water into the Atlantic
Ocean thereby accomplishing the
union of our West and East.
The first illustration presents a
view of the harbor entrance of the
canal at Buffalo, with sail boats in
the bay, low warehouses on the
dock, and a packet boat upon the
canal, which sailors are tying to
the wharf ... With something akin
to awe, one listena to the sound of
that reverberating cannon shot,
which fired at Buffalo and repeated
In succession by cannon stationed
along the entire length of the
canal, proclaims in one hour aritd
20 minutes to the people of New
York City that the little fleet is
under way. Four gaily bedecked
horses then proudly prance along
He's Laughing 'hut Loud
(.kt the Drop of a Bich)
Jick Collier, who is probably the
world's only professional laugher,
started in business with a guffaw
and worked his way down to a
titter.
And today, at the drop of a
buck, he's ready to titter, giggle,
snicker, guffaw, shriek, howl,
smart, chuckle, gurgle and other-
wise convulse himself for all com-
ers. He'll laugh any place, any
tune, anywhere, if the pay is right.
Collier's vocal talents alone are
sufficient, since he ]las a truly in-
ilectious laugh and has proved
name through appearances on the
eadlo and on records, But when
you throw in his physical appear-
ance (which is a big job, because
he's well over 200 pounds) you've
really got something.
Dick Collier looks like a laugh.
In fact, lie looks like a walking
belly -laugh, with a built-in chortle.
.As suchhe's an up -and -corning
television performer and has his
laughing eyes focused avidly on the
fertile.. fields of Hollywood.
a ;
He laugh:, for a living for two
reasons,. First, lie's a down-to-earth,
a soinmercially-minded guy and, as
lad. says. "Take a look at my puss.
Doesn't it make you laugh? Sure,
It does. Sc, wily shouldn't I cash in
on. it?"
Secondly, he's a happy character.
He traces his happitic to the war,
whet, he was badly hart. Tor a
time, there was sonic.• question of
his coniine' Out of it all right. 'But
he did.
"I found out that ,just being
alive," he gays, ".is the most won-
derful tiling. So now i get a kick
mut of a rainy day,"
During the 'war, he'd been a
Iniie-marl show for Army special
wervices. He spent 17 tnouths in
Persia, giving shows at remote
Cramps. He'd play the piano, sing
songs, tell jokes and loot: funny.
The GWl , liked hii>:i.
t: ,11
Wheit lir.. was discharged, he de-
vided to give show business a
whirl, despite the fact that he had
Vent i1vo yearn at Boston College,
studAftw PAVehologya Ha built his
Dick Collier --He laughed the
best paid laugh ever laughed.
act around his laugh, a piercing
shriek that had been a big hit with
the boys in service.
He studied laughter, and devel..
oiled a routino that ell conipasse",
(lit, say -�) itiore than 200 different
kinds ranging from the timid laugh
(used "when the little woman is-
sues her orders for the day") to
the shaking laugh ("peetiliar to
pleasingly plutilp, people"),
A Broadway producer hired him
to sil in the audience of a new
musical comedy and laugh in the
right places, itis laughter made
others laugh, and the play beeaine
a lilt. 'filen comedians took up the
idea, and Collier made a nice living
laughing in radio studios, night
chibs and theaters.
Frit his code of ethic..,, niuke
hila refuse to laiigli unles, some-
thing if; funny.
Oil one. television prograill, Col
lien gait paid $100 for laughing for
five seconds. Ile says .that's the
best paid latigh ever laughed. That
one helped hint develop what lie
calls his crownhig aebievement: -.
tit(! lath laugh,
the tow -path drawing the canal
boat, Seneca Chief, which beara
Govennor Clinton and his associates
followed by the canal boats Super-
ior, Commodore :Perry and Buffalo.
At the end of the procession is
Noah's Ark, from the "unbuilt City
of Ararat," having on board a bear,
two eagles, two fawns, birds • and
fish, besides two Indian boys in na-
tive costume—all taken along to
gratify the curiosity of the effete
New Yorkers in regard to the wild
West.
One seniles at the allegorical pic-
ture, painted in honor of the occa-
sion, which hangs in the cabin of
the Seneca Chief, for in it may be
seen Hercules resting upon his fav-
orite club after has labor of finishing
the canal, Governor Clinton in a
Roman toga standing by his side,
gazing upon the placid water and
inviting Neptune and his Naiads,
Who coyly hang back as if liesitat-
Ing to approach domains not theirs
by right, to enter through the open
lock. Upon the deck stand two
brightly pahriiied kegs marked "Laky
Erie" -the water from the lake
which is to be used in the celebra-
tion in New York.
--From "The Blue China Book,"
by Ada Walker Camehi.
Machine Solves
Cows Problems
Chess players will either be de-
lighted or furious—it all depends
on how they feel about the game --
by the invention of Mr. T. Nerves,
Chief Engineer of the Hungarian
Posts Research Station. It's a chem-
probleni-solving machine, an ingen-
ious, fearsome looking contrivance
of thermionic valves, photo -electric
cells and cathode-ray tubes amid
a mass of wires, lights, dynamos
and other intricate gadgets.
All the player has to do is to
feed his problem into the machine,
which works at lightning spexd
through all the possible combins-
tions of three legal moves ---one by
Black and two by White. After a
brief space, out comes the solution.
If there is no solution the machine
tells the player sol
Mr. Nenies is not content with
producing a problem -solving ma-
chine, Ile is now at work on wa-
either nim- intricate affair which
will play a t tune of chess and which,
he says, "niay surpass the schemed
of thought of the great masters."
What a jolly evening the chemo
player can have by letting the ma-
chine play—and win—his games for
him while he gets on with some-
thing more urgent!
An indolent Vicar of Bray.
RIO roses allowed to decay.
His wife, more alert,
Bought a powerful squirt
And said to her spouse, "l,et us
spray."
Cigarette Lighters --A Milestone
In History of Conquest of Darkness
Moat people don't realize what a
wonderful thing the moderit cigar-
ette lighter is. It is almost a magical
trick, when you come to think of
it. You whip out a 'little metal
gadget, press the top, and a flame
appears for your cigarette. This
familiar, everyday gadget, which
we casually use and take for
gran"ted, represents an interesting
milestone in the long history of the
conquest of darkness by Man.
Strangely enough, the most pri-
mitive methods of illumination were
still in use 150 years ago, and the
tremendous acceleration in the dis-
coveries which led to the modern
forms of gas and electric lighting
corresponded with the Industrial
Revolution. Even the Eddystone
Lighthouse was maintained by
candles at the beginning of the
nineteenth century.
Oil lamps of various kinds ap-
pear to have been used,roughly,
from the year 2,500 B.C.; lamps
of hollow stone or sea-sliells have
been found in many parts of the
world. The Greeks and Romans
knew almost as much about light -
Ing as was known in the eighteenth
century.
We know how primitive Man pro-
duced fire by rubbing flints and
sticks together, Ali ancient Per-
sian legend describes its discovery.
"A great hero named Husbenk
hurled a mighty stone at a snake.
The snake escaped, but the stone
struck a rock. Light slione through
the dark pebble, the heart of the
rock flashed out in the quarry, and
fire -was seen for the first time
In the world."
Inventive processes in the mind
of early Man are difficult to trace,
but it is easy to imagine a cave -
dweller watching a twig or fibre
burning in fat dropped from a roast-
ing carcass and proceeding from that
observation to build a primitive
lamp. The production of fire by
a,triking a flint in such things as
the tinder -box and flintlock rifle
came very* much later.
Various kinds of oil lamps have
been used in the intervening years,
but the first recorded use of illu-
mination by gas dates back to 1765;
when a man named Spedding, who
Moved near Lord Lonsdale's coal-
mines at Whiteha•ven, piped coal
gas to his offices, where he used
it for illumination. He tried to
obtain permission to build gas re-
servoirs to light the streetu of his
village, but this was refused by the
local magistrate.
Early experiments in gas illumina-
tion were extremely primitive, of
covrae; the burners themselves were
simply iron tubes with holes pierced
in them, and the slightest obstrua.
tioin or rust resulted in a dim, over-
cooled flame. The discovery fell into
haiaids of a financial "tycoon," as
we should now call hien, named
winsor.
He was not particularly scrupu-
toua about the claims he made for
late discovery. When a newspaper
amain asked him whether it would be
dangerous to take a lighted candle
Into a room full of coal gas, he
replied that th't gas WOU14 not
ignite because "it is intermixed
with the air of the rooms."
Asked whether it was harmful to
the lungs, lie replied, "Not in the
leastl On the contrary, it is snore
congenial to our lungs than vital
air (oxygen.), which proves too
strong a medicine, because it only
exists fa'oln one-fifth to out -fourth
III the atmosphere, whereas inflam-
mable air exists above. two-thirds
In the animal and vegetable king-
doms, in all our drink and victuals.
It forts a part of ourselves."
Despite these shady beginnings,
the fall Mall was illuminated by
gas five years later, and, by 1811,
several large cotton mills were lit
by this method.
A year earlier, Sir liumplirey
Davy demonstrated the electric are
between two carbons to the Royal
Institution in Londwi. Electric
lighting developed at a slower pace
than gas. New kinds of improved
gas -bursters were introduced, and
Ari 1885—after an interval of over
a bunched years—Carl Van Weis
bach invented the incandescent gas
mantle.
It rias he, too, rt ho discovered
that cerium and iron fused together
resulted in a hard substance which
emitted a brilliant spark on being
struck with a wheel. He thus pro
duced the first "flint" But it is
important to reenenaher that tbis
satbutance bear,# no relaion to than
gmnuine fliias, the geological depo-
sits used in the tinder -bort ant,
flint -hick rifle.
It was not until the First World
War that the flint was incorpor-
ated in a primitive form of cigar..
Ott lighter consisting of braided
tow enclosed- in a small metal'.
cylinder (sometimes a cartridge -
case). This was surmounted by it
fine-toothed "heel and flint.
Frictioei between the two pro-
duced a spark, and this ignited the
tow, which wheel blown upon,
created a reri glwA suffi4-4erit to
light a cigarette.
From this c c:veluped the ritadern
cigarette 'lighter, though some years
passed before the cigarette lighters
were perfectly satisfactory and
could be accepted as a respectable
niech, ^;cal gadget.
Easy Homey
Ali Anierivatt had au incitation to
a private Nhoot, :lricla e -irk the old
gamekeeper, lie said: "frit one of
the crack shots in the States. To-
inOT'row -von Will be loading for
nee, and fur eiery bird .1 miss I'll
give you a shilling."
The fol.h.nsing everiiug tilt game-
keeper inet a frie.rd and told trigs
the story.
"If I'd had another blank cart-
ridge," he. said, "I'd have made juae
a pound."
Midget Mummy Up For Exams --Ivan P. Goodman, Bolds bats
14 -inch figt_ire which he believes to bre the mummy of a minia-
ture prehistoric man. The "mummy" was found by a. grow
of workers in 1934 in a formation of solid granite inside a sealce
cave. Goodman boo ht the figure from a man who believed ft
brought bad luck, cientists are studying the piece to deter-
ly was the body of a tnan.
Cost Of The Coal Strike—here is what the+ uiorith-1u111 general strike bN 374000 ( nited
Wile Workers and the resulting coal shortage cost its industrial lay-offs and either hardshipa,
The Newe,chart gives highliglit.- cif a nationwide survev oil effects of Mie ;strike.
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