Zurich Herald, 1949-12-08, Page 2TIIEFAINFIONT
3
A Royal Distraction—Something caused a moment's sharp distraction as Britain's royal family
was enjoying a command performance of a movie in London. Left to right, with varying ex-
pressions, are: Princess Elizabeth, the king, the -queen and Princess Margaret.
Scanning the Notes on Science
in a great metropolitan newspaper
we ran across the brief description
of a new invention which gives
promise of becoming one of the
most important innovations ever in-
troduced into the world of Sport
In fact we cannot think of anything
to compare it with, in its possible
far-reaching effects, since some gen-
ius invented a battery which would
fit into a jockey's hand, and put it
to use for the improvement of the
breed of Thoroughbred horses.
* * *
..�
"The newest in football inv'ed-
tions," according to the gen 'ally
trustworthy New York Times; "is'
a helmet ear piece filled wit1 '1ni-
monia gas. The invention has been.
patented by Dr. W. D. Hershberger
of the University of California at
Los Angeles, Purpose? To enable
a player on the field to receive in-
structions from the bench."
* * *
That's only tin start of it, but
we know that already you are be-
ginning to get the ilea, and to thrill
with the possibilities of such a gad-
get. But let us get on with it, and
not dally by the wayside.
* * *
Put a narrow -beans, voice modu-
lated micro -wave generator on the
bench—continues the Times piece—
and the ammonia gas-filled ear piece
in the quarterb •ks headgear, and
the coach can communicate with the
huddle at will. "Might save penal-
ties against the team when substi-
tutes are illegally sent in with in-
structions from the coach," suggests
Hershberger. Fill the pigskin it-
self with ammonia gas, he goes on,
and the quarterback wouldn't even
Great Dancer"Crone —Acclaim-
ed as the greatest tap -dancer
that ever lived, Bill 'Bojangles'
Robinson passed away at the
age of 71, Th addition to tie
"tracing skill 13111' -was a re-
markable sprinter, and cottld
run backward faster than most
amen can forward, He was once
timed doing 75 yards, back-
ward, in 8 and 1/5 seconds;
llt�rl if you think that's easy,
just try it . some time.
need an ear piece in his helmet.
With the ball cocked behind his ear
he can get such instructions from
the bench as "The end going wide
to the left is now open for a pass",
or "SiVatch the opposing tackle com-
ing in on your right."
* * *
As we have already intimated, the
possibilities of the sports inter-com.
system—(and it was hardly neces-
sary for The Times to say it comes
from California. Where else could
such a thing have originated? )—
are.. -limitless. Just imagine Lew
Hayman of the Champion Montreal
Alouettes—or Tedder Morris of the
Argonauts—or any one of half a
dozen other football coaches being
able to talk to their quarter -backs,
person-to-person at all times and
tell them (the Q.13.'s) 'just how
lousy they (the Q.B.'s) really are.
* * *
An enchanting prospect and we
wish there was some way we could
personally conceal ourself within
that gas-filled pigskin and catch an
earfull; although first, of course,'wwe '
would want a written guarantee
from the inventor that ammonia
gas is not a high'explosive.
* * ,k
Dr. Hershberger, at least in the
item quoted, seems to have visual-
ized his great invention as an ad-
junct only of the ;ante of football.
But think of it as applied to other
sports—such as, for instance, base-
ball.
* * *
As each succeeding year mud -
turtles by, baseball tends to become
—at least to those who take it via
the newspaper or radio route—a
gripping struggle, not between eigh-
teen uniformed athletes on the dia-
mond, but between a couple of deep -
thinking master -minds on the bench.
* * *
This year's World Series, as you
will recall, was widely ballyhooed
as a duel of wits between the world-
renowned strategist, Burt Shotton
of Brooklyn, and the equally emin-
ent tactician, Casey Stengel of the
New York Yankees. And in the in-
evitable post mortems, it appeared
that the reason the Dodgers failed
was simply because the hired help
failed to follow Mr. Shotton's in-
structions, whereas the Yanks did
just what Mr. Stengel mapped out
for them; although we, in our in-
nocence, had the idea that the New
York may have won partly because
they got better and more timely
hitting.
* * *
But with this new invention, those
managers will be able to relay their
instructions directly to the pitchers,
with no possibility of signs being
misread, or stolen by the enemy.
Gee, with that sort of a brain -battle
going on, baseball games are liable
to last for days before a decision is
reached. Sometimes it seems, to this
observer, that they already do so,
for that matter, without any walkie-
talkies.
* * *
Then, brethren, there is the mat-
ter of hockey—and that will be the
day, or rather the evening, when
the players go but on the ice, each
equipped with a gas-filled helmet,
through which he will be able to
bear the coach instruct him just
what moves to make, and exactly
how to make them.
* * *
We have neither the time or
space to go into the possibilities of
this to the extent which they 4e -
terve; but just try and picture Milt
Schmidt of the Bruins or Doug
Bentley of the Blade Hawks bear -
ng downn the Maple Leaf gone,
nig Hap Day whispering—over the
air waves—advice and instructions
right into Turk Broda's ear about
just how to play the expected shot.
* * *
Or, to go even further, just pic-
ture Coach Day equipped also with
such a helmet, by which he can
receive word from Conn Smythe,
sitting in his upstairs coign of van-
tage, and Hap—in turn—passing
along the Smythian commands to
the help. Oh, brethren I 1 1
* 'e *
Sounds a bit far-fetched, even
screwball, you say? Well, stranger
things have happened ere this in
the world of sports. And nuttier]
* * *
Still, on second thought, we
doubt if this new invention will go
very far. For, with each coach or
manager so equipped, what would
happen to the old familiar alibi of
"we would have won if the players
had done what I told them." Five
will get you ten thrt no self-respect-
ing coach or manager is going to be
deprived of his greatest asset with-
out a struggle to the very death. So
take the bauble away, Doc Hersh-
berger, and try to peddle it to the
directors of those sports epics they
film in Hollywood.
Qther Papers
Pull flamers Too
ANOTHER ATLAS
- E. P. is the new manager at
Pittsfield Kroger store, He replaces
P. M., who has tentative plans to
move the state of Washington.
Pike County (Illinois) Republican.
LEFT FOR SAFEKEEPING
Mrs. F. has entirely recovered
from her broken collarbone, but
her knee is still in the hands of the
doctor.—Cape May (New Jersey)
Star and Wave.
WANTED: NEW PASTRY
COOK
The bride's' table was centred
with a tired cake, circled with
flowers.—Clarksburg (West Vir•
ginia) Exponent.
WORK OF ART
As Mr. B. mounted the platform,
all eyes were fixed on the large red
nose he displayed. Only years of
patient cultivation could have pro-
duced an object of such brilliance.
—Journal of Horticulture,
Even if the farm you operate is
just of average size, your business
is still too big and important to
depend on memory. Writing things
down should be a regular farin
chore—a chore that can save .you
more money than you might think
possible.
For instance, if you happen to
forget about a bill for seed or re-
pairs, your income tax will suffer;
and there are lots of other ways in
which proper bookkeeping can
save you money and worry as well.
Disputes over whether you have
paid your neighbor for labor, seed,
etc., can often be settled promptly
by going to the account book and
seeing the transaction recorded in
black and white.
* *
A well -kept account book also
makes it possible for you to com-
pare receipts and expenses of one
year. with another. This can be
both interesting and profitable.
* * *
How can this bookkeeping chore
on the farm be made as easy as
possible? Here are some steps that
may help you:
1. Get a good farm account boon
before the new year begins. But
look out for hard -to -understand
farm account books that crowd too
much in too little space.
* * *
The farm account book should,
and can, be simple. Farmers don't
need the complicated bookkeeping
systems ' used by business. You
need a place to write down what
you have bought and what you have
sold, with dates and amounts. It
can be just that simple.
* * *
2. The second point in making
your bookkeeping easy is to have
a definite place for the farm ac-
count book, and always keep it
there. A pencil should be there, too,
that no one is to borrow—ever]
* * *
With a good account book and
a pencil handy, it is easy to write
down every business deal on the
day that it was made. The time re-
quired won't average five minutes
per day.
* * *
It is a good idea to keep all re-
ceipts and sales -slips, also. These
should have a definite place, the
same as the farm record book. Can-
celled cheques returned from the
bank should be kept with the re-
reipts,. and sales -slips.
3. Some bills may still be forgot-
ten and not get into the account
book. This will happen when pay-
ments are made in small amounts
and no receipts are taken or given.
* * *
One way to prevent forgotten
bills is to make 'a note of them qn
the spot, and place the note in
your billfold. Put such notes in
with receipts and sales -slips when
the amount is recorded in the ac-
count book.
* * *
If the three points above are fol-
lowed, the bookkeeping chore will
not be too difficult. You will find
it convenient to refer to the record
hook often, and you will have an
easier time with your income tax
form,
APPLICANTS: NONE
Wanted: Intelligent worrier un-
der 30. —Allentown (Pennsylvania)
Morning Call.
ONE AT EVERY WEDDING
Mr. C. M. B. of Dallas attended
the bridegroom as pest man.—
Dallas (Texas) Morning News.
ROLL YOU OWN
BUM C GA.RETTES
WITH
CIGARETTE TOBACCO
Classified Advertising.
330 QUESTION about it. January and Irebrat-
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•year. They Will do It again next year and
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BABY CHICK BVVERS. By ordering your
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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
NOFFER to every inventor—List of inven•
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Ramsay Co. Registered. Patent Attorneys. 279
Bank Street, Ottawa
DYEING AND CLEANING
HAVE YOU anything 'needs dyeing or clean-
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glad to answer your questions, Department
H,- Parker's Dye Works Limited, 791 Yonge.
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EMPLOYMENT WANTED
FARMERS, secure farm labour for spring.
Experienced studied or practical farm
labour, families and single will be available
for you when needed. Contact Latvian Relief
Association, 920 Bay Street, Room 1804. To.
ronto, Ont.
FOR SALE
BEAUTIFUL reproduction oY oil painting, of
the landing of British, American and Cana-
dian troops at Normandy Beach, D-DAY, June
5, 1944. Complete with text, ready for fram-
ing. One, 25c postpaid. Edward Shaw. 8661
Lorne, Montreal 18, Quebec.
WINDMILLS and Electric Water Systems.
Prompt shipment. H. M. Fleming and Sons,
Aeromotor Distributor, Blenheim, Ontario,
BATHS and galvanized pipe. h inch gal. pipe
at 15c a foot; $ Inch gal. pine at 18c a foot;
1 inch gal. pipe at 25c a foot: 11 inch gal.
pipe at 45c a foot; 2 inch gal. pipe at
60c a foot. All prices include freight to your
station. Baths, toilets, soil pipe and fittings
also in stock. Ivry Builders Supply Inc.. Ivry
North, Quebec.
REGISTERED Jersey Bull, "Edgelea Lucky
Jester" .114971, First Champion Western
Ontario, 5300:00. Bred Jersey Heifers, owner
discontinuing. M. Bouris, Osgoode, Ont.
SANTA CLAUS MASKS
Have Santa at your Christmas Tree the easy
way with one of our one piece combination
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in a jiffy. Only $5 postpaid: Special: Our big
book of Christmas recitations, songs, drills,
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onto.
48 PAC/LARD Sedan, De Luxe Model, radio,
heater, whitewall tires, two-tone. Sale by
original owner. G. T. Gambling, 111 Oriole
Parkway, Toronto. Mohawk 1081.
CLEARANCE: 1,000 typewriters and adding
machines. The lightning Desk Model
portable adding machine, adds to 99,999.99,
subtracts, multiplies and divides, durable all
steel construction, easy to operate, fast and
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standard popular model typewriters, regular
Price 5166 and $176 each. To clear, 540.00
each. Excellent condition, guaranteed. Will
ship C.O.D. Write Capitol Equipment Corn-
pany, 2008 St. Catherine St„ Rest, Montreal,
P.Q.
SPLENDID large newly built and equipped
Chair 'Factory at Selby, Ontario, Owner de-
ceased, offers wanted. John Wilson, Napanee,
Ont._
MODERNIZED home in Winchester, modern
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liamsburg; general stores; farms good soil
and buildings, 50 to 200 acres. H. S. Carkner,
Realtor and Insurance, Winchester,
LADIES FELT Articles are all the rage, 31
colors in felt, forty different patterns. Free
Price lost. Handicrafts Service, 159 Emerson
Street, Hamilton, Ontario.
FERRETS•—Trained hunters, males 56, fe-
males $7, yearlings 58, White or brown. Roy
Goodwin, Selkirk, Ont,
MACHINERY
MACHINE PLANS—Save 90%. 182 Plana for
Metal, Concrete, Woodworking Machines.
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book 25e. Porde Sperinity Products, 199W.
Oshawa, Ont.
•
MEDICAL
POST'S ECZEMA SALVE
Banish the torment of dry eczema rashes
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C telling, scaling. burning eczema, ache, ring.
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PRICE 51.00 PER JAR
Sent Post Free on Recepit of Price
POST'S REMEDIES
880 Queen St E,. Corner of Logan
Toronto
"Dear," asked the little woman,
Is my hat on straight?"
"Yes," her husband replied, im-
patiently. "Now hurry—we're late
already."
"I'm sorry," she replied, "but i'll
have to go back. This sort of hat
isn't supposed to be worn straight."
MEDICAL
SUFFERERS from Rheumatic or .Arthritic
Mahal' If you cannot get relief, write: 7'ox
829, Tranecona, Manitoba,
HIGHLY RECQMMENDED-Every
sufferer of Rheumatic Pains or Neuritist
should try Dixon's Remedy,
MUNRO'S DRUG STORE
335 Elgin
Ottawit
$ 1.25 .Express Prepaid.
OPPORTUNITIES FOR MEN ANP WOMEN
BE A HAIRDRESSER
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350 Bloor St. W.,. Toronto "
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BUY books wholesale, save up to 50% Write
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L O N E S 0 M E" Nationwide Introductions
Proven results since 1924. Free sealed par.
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'WHY not employ spare time pleasantly profit-
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worsted wool mill ends for knitters, eta.,
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PATENTS
FE'PHERSTONHAlilt H & nom pany Patent
Solieitere Established 1890 350 Ray Street,
roronto Rookie/ nt tntormation nn reamed.
PERSONAL
WHY grow gray hair? Write for my Free
Folder: Box 029,_ Tranecona, M_anttoba.
A BOOK of 760 Classified Household Hints, 0Y'
great value to every one in the fatally;
51.00 Postpaid, Williams Publications, Box -
18 7 -\'VL, Toronto 1, Ont,
STAMPS
CANADA AND United States commemorative
stamps, plate number blocks, mint blocks,
our specialty. Send for free price list. J. ]f.
Sutton, 193 Sparks St., Ottawa.
WA N'rEL
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W111, Il. JOHNSTON
Business Broker
"Specializing in Businesses."
836 Yonge St.. Toronto 6.
Phone Princese 1469 Evenings MO. 8881
URGENTLY WANTED, present address of
Professor Morgan, Palmist Crystal Gazer.
Write Box 46, Englehart, Ontario.
How 1 Subdued
Wild Fiery Itch
Dr. Dennis' amazingly fast relief—D, D. D.
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this pure cooling, liquid medication speeds
peace and comfort from cruel itching caused
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KIDNEY EY ACTIVITY
VITAL TO HEALTH
.Don't wait until you become
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WAKE UP MR
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The liver should pour out about 2 pints of
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MUSCLES
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Large Economical Mee
ISSUE 50 -- 1949
ARCHIE
1 POUND OUT
$1-1E FORGCn-
:BLiPPED
MINE IN110
HER DE 3k
WITH A
NOTE'
DEAR VERONICA,
I'O RATHER /01J'D EAT
'Hie THAN I.
ARCHIE
ARCHIE,
I HATE
'OU
GOOD GRIEF!
ARCHIE LET HIS
LUNCH HERE AND
TOOK MY E3AG OP
C;A0.E13AGE
TO SCHOOL!
lye
•