Zurich Herald, 1947-02-20, Page 6Understood
Wife: "Well, dear, I'll meet you
at the Biltmore at twelve for
lunch,"
Husband: "All right, but please
don't be any later than .one."
Truthful.
A. coal merchant advertised for
tt boy, and in due course a number
applied for the job.
"Do you like work?" lie asked
one of them.
"No, sir," was the prompt an--
awer,
"Then you can have the job,"
said the coal merchant. "You are
the first boy I've seen who has told
the truth.."
In Technicolor
The film producer visited his
oculist and complained of • seeing
spots before his eyes.
"Well, smiled the oculist, "there's
nothing serious about that. We'll
have you fixed up ire n.o time.
- Why, thousands of people see spots
before their eyes,"
The producer smiled,
'Yea, I know that," he replied,
`but mine are in teclinicolor."
Wise Words
"If you make out your income
lax retinal wrong. you are in the
'ands of the law," says a contem-
eorary, "and if yott make it out
sight, yon are in the hands of the
tecriver,
The "I" as "H"
:i woman travelling by train was
talking•Wltll a man in the next seat,
Is &Scribing. her holidayL she said
titer site had visited San Jose".
"You pronounce that wrong,"
said the man. "It's San Hosn y. In
''alifol n ' you pronounce .all the
j's as h s. When were you there?"
The Woman thought fora me-
in':nt, then answered, "In 'Hun
end Truly."
Off The Wire
The young reporter thought that
the old man in the potato -field
looked the last word in rusticity,
"Good ,morning," he said. "Love-
ry day."
'Ay," answered the oldest in-
habitant, leaning on his hoe. "But
there's rain coining."
`•I -Tout' do you know that?" the
reporter asked. "Red sky at morn-
ing — shepherd's warning, "eh? Or•
perhaps you've means of your
own?" -
Dunno nothing 'bout that," was
the reply, "But it was on the wire -
fess last night, and in all the papers
this morning," •
Her Choice
Brother Tom: "Yes, I like him
well enough Folly, but how did
you ever happen to marry a man
x head shorter than you are?"
His Married Sister: "I had to
choose,• Tom, between a little man
• with a big salary and a big man
with a little salary."
Different
He asked the lady for her hand;
She yielded to his wishes;
But now that they are wed she sets
His hand to washing dishes!
Simple
Master of Ilouse: "Why did you
Hell your mistress what time I came
home last night after I had told
you to be quiet about it-"
Maid: "I didn't sir, She asked
sue what time it was, and I told her
I was too busy getting breakfast to
notice."
8 Killed, 100 Hurt
Wt'et'l;rlge and overturned ears
. ILtar the Soul)f',1dtic tracks
u::rr ana a.atia/d, Calif., where
the t ' t,at, aaaia to -Los os Ange-
le t , , i the roil'', , Riling
. 1tt t, -r5un,s fund fit tiring MO.
A,AMI[A N MANEUVER
Throwing cold water on the old Hindu rape trick, a couple of
Task Force Frigid soldiers prove you can do it without being a
fakir—if you've got Alaska's 56 -below -zero temperature. First, Sgt.
Carl Muldoon of Geneva, N.Y. gave the rope a few applications
of water and let frigid nature take its course. Half an hour later,
Muldoon tootled on an icicle flute while Pfc. Boxy Herd, Mineola,
N.Y., registered amazement.
Know Your Hockey Stars
By E
Bigger and heavier and conside
ably stronger than when • he bro
into pro hockey as an 18 -year -o,
junior ace i
1942-43, B u
Poile is expec
ed to be
standout in a
for the Leaf
this season, Si
feet, tall 'an
p'a cki-ng be
tweet 185 an
190 pounds i>
playing condi
tion, Poile i
quite a hunk of hockey player. He's
a right-hand shot — and what a
shot! Pucks don't fly any faster
than the way Poile propels 'em
and that deadly drive and his play -
making ability have earned him
the nick -name of "Point -a -game"
Polk, Bud„ prior to this season,
has ,played r4 N.H.L. games and
has 64 points to his cerdit.
In 1.942-43, his only full season
as a Leaf, Bud scored 16 goals and
had 19 assists for 85 ,-points . in 48
games, In playoff competition the
same season, he bagged 2 goals
and 4 assists for 6 points in 6
games. During the 1943-44 season,
on leave while transferring from
the Royal Canadian Air Force to Canadian Army, Poile played
.1t games with the Leafs. He scor-
ed four goals in his first start and
in the 11 games collected six goals
and eight assists for 14 points.
Last' winter, 'back from overseas
service, Poile played nine games
for the Leafs and clicked for nine
points—one goal and eight assists.
D. FI:TKIN
r- offs if he could win the -scoring
Ice title the second year, Bud did and
d got his trip. The next season he
n was playing for—not just watch.
d ing—the Leafs.
t- * * ,E
a Polk joined the Canadian Ac -
n tire Army in April, 7943, transfer-
s red to the R C.A.F. and then re -
x turned to the Army. He went,over-
d seas in 'July, 1944, 'and served with .
Sigals Corps in Italy, France and
d Germany. He was in Oldenburg in
Northern Germany on VE Day:
- Prior to returning to Canada `est
s March, Poile was picked for an.
Alt -Star Army Headquarters team.,
that . toured' France and Czecho-
slovakia. He spent his 22nd birth-
day last Feb. 10 in "Gay' Farce."
Bud was married in 1943 shortly
before going overseas.
Britain Slates
Humble Folk
For High Posts
Coluinns'are being written about
the fact that ,the son of a"butcher
is being stated • for the governor;
generalship of Australia, says the
Ottawa
y it
h s casedt)toabe l. news thy? hatetsons
of butchers and bakers and other
humble 'folk have Loon by divine
right of intellect to the highest
posts of power! And not merely"
in new countries like Australia,, the •
United States and Canada. In
England. where they are supposed
to have a caste system, democracy
• in government but 'not in society,
any number of met:, sons of poor
homes, have risen to- the summits
—lode over the records of :lir. Aft -
lee's ministers! More, tarn to the
supposedly blue-blooded Conserva-
tive party and note that the de-
sceicclan = of a Yorkshire bare -
knuckle fighter and runner rose to
be Lord Chancellor—F, E. Smith,
later Lord Birkenhead.
It is. atm ,inverted snobbery .which
assumes it is vvotiderful.-tnewws when .
a poor bay rises to the1ieight to '
which his intellect entitles him.
Norman (Baud)
Poile, Centre
'Like Gaye Stewart and Gus
Bodnar, Toile is a product of the
Thunder Bay hockey incubator. He
was born at Fort William, Feb. 10,
1024, and began his climb 'to hock-
ey's big time via the bantam -midg-
et -juvenile route in his home town.
a * ti
Scout 'George (Squib) Walker,
who nabbed hitt for the Leafs,
says that Bud was "a super star"
as a junior. He and Bodnar were
team mates with the Fort Wil-
liam Hurricane-12angere for two
years and after Bodnar won the
scoring championship of the Thun-
der Bay League, "Squib" promis-
ed Toile a trip to Toronto to see
the Loafs in the Stanley Cup play-
Swiss Boom.
Switzerland is an island of pros-
perity in the midst of Europe. Fig -
tires just received show that indus-
try is humming, everyone is at
work, the cost of living is stable,
and prices have fallen a bit. The
tourist trade reflects this situation,
as foreigners have been flocking
back to Switzerland in greater
numbers than ever since 1034, to
enjoy the good things of life to be
'nlnc there ad nowhere else in
11
•, ane.
—Ottawa 'Citizen
Sly Dog
"John, T hope. I didn't see •you
smiling at that girl."
"I hope you didn't, my dear;"
FLYING TO LON Irl ON
Y
Making his first trip to London since he Was appointed United
Kingdom High Commissioner to Canada last year, Sir Alexander
Clutterbuck, K.C,M.G,, NMC„ is shown checking in at -the T,C.A.
passenger office at Montreal before departure of the big Trans-
Canada Air Lines transAtiantic plane for London, Sir Alexander
plans to remain in London for two weeks, during which time he
will see Lord Addison, Secretary of State, Dominions Office, to
discuss routine matters and keep in touch with the latest develop-
ments.
i``''ICE
Or Bigger
The folly of betting on'. horse
races is generally admitted, . but
gambling on the human race con-
tinues—which seems to involve a
similar risk.
---Kingston Whig -Standard.
A Billion
It's not likely that you'Il ever get
the chance, but just the same it
would require 19 centuries to spend
$1,000,000,000 at the rate of $1 a
minute.
—Stratford Beacon -Herald,
Meanest Mishap
The season's,most embarrassing
mishap happened to two New York
thieVes who stole a truck, and then
got the horn stuck just as they were.
driving away,.
—Edmonton Journal.
•
Parental Surprise
When you looked forward to the
time when your offspring would be
big enough to do, things for them-
selves, you did not realize what
they would do.
—Brandon Sun.
Know Not Unity
Pandit Nehru claims all the free-
doms for the people of India, and
few will deny his right to do se.,
But a sovereign people need unity
as well as freedom and of the first
principles of unity the Indians seem
to have not the' foggiest notion.
—Vancouver Province.
Current Affairs
An educational, experiutent ap-
plied to Britain's fighting Services
during the war, which proved•high-•
Iy popular and -successful .has re-
sulted in an important new devel-
opment in methods of education in -
Britain's schools, ft is the intro;
duction of current affairs as a reg-
ular subject into the educational
syllabus. This change is a direct
outcome of topical discussions and
informed guidance' which were ar-
ranged by the War Cabinet to en-
sure that every fighting man should
,have adequate opportunity to ac-
-quire a: basic knowledge of world
affairs. "Current Affairs" is now a
vtrell established item on all school
schedules.
vot, tots to
9460 /Psi
THE 1) ES
It's Still Work
Mrs, Blank—Do you want elvs
ployment?"
Tramp—"Lady, you mean well,
but you can't make work sound
any better by using a big word for
it."
Definition
Apartment: A place where you
start to turn off the radio and find
you've been listening to the neigh -
hors.
—Peninsula Light.
Fuel First '
A chemist announces that 8; dif-
ferent products can be made from
coal. People who struggled with
some of the war -time coal will
wonder why the scientists didn't
concentrate on making a decent
fuel of it and forgot about the other
things,
--Kingston kVhig-Standard.
War Bride, Babies
Given Big Welcome
The recent publicity given to
that small group of English war
brides who reported their unhappy
experiences in the United States is
no doubt overshadowed by the
thousands; of brides who received
a royal welcome. The following
.story is authenticated by the
writer, who participated in collect-
ing the money mentioned, says H,
B. E., in the Christian Science
Monitor.
G.l.'s of the 82nd Airborne Di-
vision, returning home on the
Queen Mary, were particularly
charmed - with three young traveI-
ing .companions—rosy little triplets,
aged perhaps eighteen months, on
their way to America, with their
mother, ft soon became known that
their father was an ex-G.I., now
discharged and waiting in the
States for his .English, wife and
babies, and immediately something
was in the air.
•The Queen Mary steamed into
New York harbor, the young father
tax's on the dock, to be greeted, not
only by his fancily, but with a check
for several ,thousand dollars -- •a
welcome -home gift to the• babies
from the ti onsands of Americans
on board.
CLEA RANGE
SHEET -STEEL
LINERS
• For Truck Flooring
• Feed Bins
* (Barn Sidings, Etc,
4, 36" width, varying lengths
'hone or Write
HYDRAULIC. METALS
LTD.
TO r'r.o
1581 Dundee St. — LO..2133
POP--Egg«zact dy '
owe pet.i0Y / USt
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Nor tAt.IS aD
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A.13omb Control
The protection of the world
against an atomic holocaut will b'
•achieved not by finespun tliplalna-
tic formulas or juggling of agen-
cies, but by the willingness and de-
termination of all nations to abide
by the atomic law. That means the
renunciation of all legal loc'alyoles
for evasion. Until agreement or
that point has been reachc.i, . and
until all effective interllatiol ;;.i sys-
tem is in operation, there is no
reason for the United States either.
to abandon or to share itsni,^.et po-
tent weapon,"
--• New York Imes.
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irvn.11sr,xxau $1.50 taip
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Gin Pills help give relief from
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other symptoms of sluggish kid-
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proves their merir.
Regular she, 40 Pins
Ecenoeay;sir•, 50 PIIHa
(In fl..s t7.s.,9. a14lor Giro
.t $mert,,,Aistineti re
�,f1 f t TNi men eine
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Billboard size: 23
books. Select coder
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By 3. • MIL.LAR WATT
OR M t 55• a b I