Zurich Herald, 1946-10-31, Page 6ST IR FUN
Might Well Be
Daughter (driving ,after two les-
sons)—Mother, don't speeding over
the beautiful country make you
glad1 you are alive!
Mother—Glad isn't the word,
dear. I'm amazed!
Homesick
Jones: "Halloa, Smith. How are
you? Haven't seen you in the gar-
den for quite a time, and you
never come and see the wife and
me now. Why is that?"
Smith: "WeI1, old chap, it's not
through ill -will or bad feelings or
anything like that you know; only
you and Mrs. Jones have borrow-
ed so many things from me that
when I see your place it makes me
feel quite homesick."
Now Just Be Quiet
Two sweet young things were
discussing affairs of the heart.
"So you've accepted Toni?" said
one acidly. "I suppose he didn't
happen to mention that he had
previously proposed to me?"
"Well. not exactly," replied the
other blandly; "but he did confess
that he'd done a lot of silly things
before he met me."
Suitable
Bill had found a new pet name
for his wife. He called her "My
Cherub" so often that at last the
lade became suspicious and asked
why he used that particular form
of endearment.
Bill looked rather uncomfortable
tor a moment, and then decided to
?int a brave face on it.
"It's like this.' hr. said, "you ne-
ver seem to have asy clothes; you
an always up in the air. and you
keep on harping."
HOLD EVERYTHING.
"Why can't you just pass notes
the way the others do?"
The Prisoner
Awakened by the insistent ring-
ing of the telephone, a publican,
who did not live on his licensed
premises, hastened to answer it.
A voice asked: "Is that the land-
lord of the George? What time
do you open in the morning?"
Brusquely the publican replied:
'Eleven o'clock," and banged down
the receiver.
Half an hour later the 'phone
rang again and the same voice re-
peated the same query: "What time
do you open?"
The publican was angry and told
the inquirer that he did not want
anyone like him in his pub.
"I don't want to get in: I want
to get out." said the voice. "I've
been locked up in your bar X11
night!"
Miracle
"Is that hair tonic any good?"
"Well, I spilled some of it on
nay comb last week and now it's a
brush."
LKS
P 0 Canning Poultry o
After a busy season of canning
fruits and vegetables, of making
jams, jellies and pickles, the home-
maker is now counting her chickens
for another canning bee.
Chicken or fowl should' stand 24
hours after killing, then they may
be canned either raw or pre-cooked.
For Raw Canning
Skin and excess fat are taken
off. Then the chicken or fowl is
cut in large pieces (drumsticks,
thighs, breast, back and wings).
All pieces should be boned except
the drumsticks, then the raw meat
is packed in clean jars ur in plain
tin cans, leaving / inch headspace.
A drumstick is placed In the center
of the container, this allows heat
to penetrate more easily to the
center of the containers during pro-
cessing and will also improve the
flavour of the meat. Salt is added -
during the packing, allowing one
teaspoon to a quart sealer or 2S -oz.
tin can. Other seasonings in the
form of 1 carrot and 1 small onion
may be added to taste. No liquid
should be added. Glass sealers are
then partially sealed and tin cans
dompletely sealed for processing.
Glass sealers and tin cans are
processed for one hour in the pres-
sure cooker at 15 lbs. pressure, or
in the boiling water bath for 3
hours, counting the time from when
the water begins to boil, that is
a good roiling boil. The glass
sealers are sealed as soon as they
are removed from the pressure
cooker or the boiling water bath
and cooled in an upright position.
Sealers should never be inverted
to cool. Tin cans must be cooled
immediately and rapidly ii. a cold
water bath or under cold running
water.
For Pre -Cooked Canning
The excess fat should be removed
but the skin left on and the chicken
or fowl 'cut up in pieces, The
pieces are then put in a kettle with
water. To a fowl of about 4/ lbs.
1 pint of water is added and the
fowl boiled for one hour in the
closely covered kettle. For a
chicken of the same weight, 1 cup
only of water is added and the
boiling time is cut in half. After
fowl or chicken is pre-cooked, the
skin and bones are removed and
the liquid strained through a cheese
cloth and then cooled. The sur-
elus fat should be removed when
liquid is cold. The cooked neat
is then packed in glass sealers or
tin cans with one teaspoon of salt
per quart sealer or 28 -oz. tin can.
The liquid is then brought to the
boil and added to cover the meat,
leaving / inch headspace.
Glass sealers and tin cans are
processed for one hour in the pres-
sure cooker at 15 lbs. pressure, or
in the boiling water bath for three
hours, counting the time from when
the water begins to boil, that is
a good rolling boil. The glass seal-
ers are sealed as soon as they are
removed from the pressure cooker
or the boiling water bath and then
cooled in an upright position. Seal-
ers should never be inverted to
cool. Tin cans must be cooled im-
mediately and quickly in a cold
water bath or under cold running
water.
One chicken of 4 to 5 pounds will
approximately fill one quart sealer
and one pint sealer or one 28 -oz.
can and one 20 -oz. can.
Quite a Long Time
The history master noticed that
young Smith was back in the class
after a long absence through ill-
ness.
"I'm glad to see you are here
again," he said. "You'll have a lot
to make up. How long have you
been away?"
"Since Brian Boru won the
Battle of Clontarf, sir," relied
Smith.
Both Excused
Teacher: "Well, boys, late again
this morning? What is your ex-
cuse, Jack?"
Jack: "I was dreaming I was
going to Ireland, and I thought the
school bell was the steamboat's sig-
vial to start."
'Teacher. "Were you dreaming,
too, Joe?"
Joe: "No, teacher, 1 was just
waiting to see Jack off."
Simple
"C an you tell me the way to the
Air ch?" asked the stranger in the
Zvi;lege:
"Certainly sir," replied the old-
est inhabitant, ob- igingly. "Go ttl,
the down. keep'strt fight along tire
cro.l:cd lens, then rotted the
sial re, and w -he. you turn lett
veu'rr right"
HOLD EVERYTHING
00" 11,411 RY NtA :YNYIOA. IMO. 7.0411[0. UAL PAT. PMF..
"1 know a farmer who brings
me all the cornsilk 1 can use l"
CHECK THESE FIGURES
The hour -glass figure of the Gay Nineties will make a comeback
when Hollywood's Andrea King portrays famed actress Lillian
Russell in the new film musical, "My Wild Irish Rose." Stately
Andrea is pictured at left, above, in the costume she'll wear. "Airy
fairy Lillian" is pictured at right, at the height of her acclaim as the
best toast of Broadway.
THIS "HEN" QUACKS AND SWIMS
Stanley Gowran, of Minneapolis, Minn., thought he had an ordinary
white hen—until the darned thing started to quack like a duck
and took to swimming. The "duck -hen" is pictured above, paddling
around in Kowran's wash tub.
MO
SY b GLADYS PAy KER
.AV' IT'S A HAT YOU.CAN EXCHANGE IT
ON THE SIXTH FLOOR, OTHERWISE I'D
TRY THE BASEMEN ".,
POP --That's His Story!
[—WHAT ARE
OICE F
tl E PRESS
Tongue Waggers
The flaw in some people is that
they don't sprout tails like dogs do,
so they just wag their tongues
instead.
—Ottawa Citizen.
Night On A Train -
About 1,700,000 people in Canada
have never spent a night aboard "a
train. We never realized how many
lucky people there are.
Windsor Star.
Vice Versa
Optimism is needed for a better
world. And vice versa.
—St. Catharines Standard.
Only In His Own
Those Londoners who squatted
in luxurious West End apartments
have been forced to evacuate. The
government decided that an Eng-
lishman cannot make his home in
somebody else's castle.
—The New Yorker.
Forgotten Man
The salaried individual is still the
"forgotten man" of Canada. His
income remains "frozen" by official
decree but he has to pay more and
more for almost everything he is
required to buy.
—Brockville Recorder and Times.
Should Be Peaceful -
An American soldier who can't
speak Italian has married an Ital-
ian girl who can't speak English.
Until the language situation im-
proves, this should be a peaceful
home.
—Edmonton Journal.
Is The War Over?
People used to wonder what the
newspapers would find to print
once the war was over.
—Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph.
• Take a Tip, Girls
The native charm, the sweet dis-
position, the general friendliness,
the willingness to help in every
good work, a cheerfulness in diffi-
cult tasks, with a smile for every-
body, make for a better popularity
than anything else.
—Chatham Daily News.
Still- a Tax
Loud weeping and wailing on the
part of those who will feel the pinch
of increased strain on the pocket
book, heralded the increase in the
price of milk, yet these very people
have been the hardest to convince
that the paying of subsidies was,
in fact, the same as an increase.
In these days anything in the line
of taxation or increased costs that
can be done up in a fancy wrap-
ping with a high fahitin name seems
to loll the otherwise sane citizen
into an apathy toward real costs
that is• little short of scandalous.
—Elora Express.
Co -Operative
How Britain and the United
States are co-operating all over the
world is told in a little story from
Trieste which notes that the 10,000
ton United States cruiser, Fargo,
has arrived at Trieste to relieve the
British cruiser, Ajax, which has left
for Malta.
—Niagara Falls Review.
Preparedness
Never count your chickens until
they are hatched and even after
that you should keep a padlock on
the henhouse and a shotgun beside
the bed:
—London Free Press.
A Valuable Food
The public will be asked to. pay
more for their milk, which, even so,
must remain as one of the most
valuable and economical foods.
—Port Arthur News Chronicle.
Remember This
Memory work for all motorists:
"Stop and let the train go byl
It only takes a minute..
Your car starts off again intact,
And, what is more, you're in it!"
—Stratford Beacon -Herald.
IT REALLY IS SMART to
serve Maxwell House. This
famous blend of coffees
has extra fragrance and.
flavor — extra smooth,
n11 body. It's always
"Good to the Last Drop 1'"
4 PHOEBE STREET, TORONTO
Young Men's and Men's pleated
wool trousers . plain brown
and herringbone . brown and
grey. $8.95
Boys' wool sults with shorts . .
blue, grey and brown. Sizes 4,
6, 6 and 7 $8.75
Boys' breeches. all -wool .
double -knee . belt .. winter
weight ... blue and brown ..
Sizes 4, 6 6 and 7 $3.9€
Men's sleeveless pullovers .
wine, small, grey
mediucmnl andio large
Sizes
$2.98
Prompt delivery. Quality guaran-
teed or stoney refunded.
Money Order or C.O.D. Mailing
Free
You, too, will be delighted by the effective, yet
wonderfully gentle constipation relief that Phillips'
Milk of Magnesia gives. Simply take 2 to 4 table-
spoonfuls of Phillips' with water. The marvelous
double -action of this proved laxative -antacid
helps you wake up refreshed, sparkling. What's
more, Phillips' Milk of Magnesia is one of the
fastest neutralizers of excess
stomachacidity known to science!
At all drug stores. Remember .
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