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Zurich Herald, 1946-10-10, Page 6JUST FUN Don't Worry Officer in charge of rifle range: "Don't you know any better than to point an empty gun at me?" Raw Recruit: "But it isn't emp- ty, sir; it's loaded," Simple Lady of the House: "Norah, the window in your room is so dirty you can't see out of it." Norah: "But, madam, when I want to look out I open it." Robbery, That's All Two burglars hat' broken into a taller', shop and were sorting out some suits when one of them saw one marked $50. "Bert, look at the price of that one," he said °Why it's downriglo robbery." Icy Words The amateur actors wer re- hearsing. Mrs. Jones was required to kiss Mr. Smith, and as they arrived at that incident Mrs. Smith appeared. "Oh," excaimed Mrs. Jones, "1 Hope, dear, you don't mind my kissing your husband." "Not at all darling." was the icy reply. "I don't mind in the least If he doesn't." The Truth A young boy in the witness box was so much at ease and answering the questions put to him so fluently that the judge was suspicious. "Did anyone tell you what to say in court before you came here he asked. "Oh, yes sir," replied the boy. Counsel for the prosecution was up in arms at once. "1 felt this witness had been tam- pered with," he snapped. The judge turned to the boy. "Will you tell me," he said, "who told you what to say?" "My father, sir," answered the boy. "He said the lawyers would try to get me all tangles up ,but 0 I stuck to the truth I would be quite all right." THE SPORTING THING 'Know any hot numbers, bud? ' A Way Out Mathematics was not John's strong point, and at the a amina- tion be was given a problem as fol- lows: "If one horse can run one mile In a minute and a half, and an- other horse can do the same dis- tance in two minutes, how far would the first horse be ahead if they ran a race of two miles at their respective speeds?" John worried over this for some time, and then thought of a way out. "I regret to say," he wrote, "that 1 cannot deal with this problem, as my parents have always told me never to have anything to do with horse -racing in my form," Doing Fine "Put up your hands?" com- manded the larger of two bandits who had stopped the motor coach, "We're goin' to rob the gents and kiss all the ladies." "No," remonstraed the smaller one, gallantly. "We'll rob the gents all right, but we'll leave the ladies alone." "Young man," snapped a woman passenger of uncertain age, "mind your own business! Your friend's managing this hold-up!" All Clear A sailor called unexpectedly on his fiancee. He found her all dress- ed up and ready to go to a dance. "That's the spirit," he told her, "No need to he gloomy." Just then the telephone bell rang, and the sailer answered it. "What?" be said. "Oh, yes — judging from the number of U. boats we've sunk, 1 should certain- ly think so." And he hung up the receiver. "Who was that?" asked the girl. "Oh, said the sailor. "just a 'fel- low who wanted to knot if the coast is clear'. -.._. Great Lite One (Chicago ex -gunman is re- p : ted to In' now working as a bili:m 1,.7 Stili in the stick-up line. Thanksgiving Mena , . Thanksgiving day has been cele- brated ever since the early settlers, after suffering many privations and hardships had their efforts reward- ed by a bountiful harvest promising food for all. All over the world this year people in many lands will be offering prayers of thanks for the food that has been harvested. For many it will be the first real harvest for number of yc ,rs. The people of Canada should be more thankful than any other for the bountiful harvest they have been frt en. Poultry, either chicken or turkey is usually the meat served at the Thanksgiving dinner. If you have a nice fat chicken for the occasion there will be quite a bit of fat to take out when it is being cleaned. This chicken fat, after it is ren- dered, as well as the fat saved dur- ing the cooking is excellent for baking. Excess fat should be pour- ed off while the chicken is roast- ing, leaving only enough in the pan for basting and for making gravy. With the scarcity of fats in general, it is a wise 'homemaker who saves all the chicken fat she can; it has the texture and richness of butter, but like other unsalted fats, requires the addition of a lit- tle salt to the amount asked for in the recipe. The home economists of the Consumer Section of the Dominion Department of Agriculture suggest a simple menu with recipes for the Thanksgiving dinner. Tomato Juice Roast Chicken or Turkey Dressing Brown Potatoes Tomato Eggplant Broil Pickled Beets Crabapple Jelly Grape Neapolitan Coffee TOMATO EGGPLANT BROIL 1 medium egg plant (about 5 to 6 inches in length) 2 tablespoons fat, melted 3 to 4 large tomatoes Salt, celery salt and pepper to taste Grated nippy cheese Slice eggplant in TA inch slices and peel. Brush slices on both sides with melted fat. Sprinkle lightly with salt and pepper. Preheat broil- er to 400 deg. F. Place slices on rack and broil on one side until lightly browned, about 5 minutes, turn and broil on other side until tender. Top each slice with a thick slice of tomato, sprinkle with„ celery salt and a teaspoon of grated cheese. Return to broiler and broil until cheese melts. Serve at once. Six servngs. GRAPE NEAPOLITAN 1 tablespoon gelatine —1/4 cup cold water 4 cups blue grapes 2 cups boiling water 3/4 cups sugar Few drops of green vegetable coloring. Soak gelatine in cold water. Wash grapes and press pulp from skins. Add 1 cup boiling water to the pulp, cook 5 minutes. Rub through a sieve to remove seeds and to the pulp add 54 cup sugar and soaked gelatine; stir until gela- tine is dissolved and add green col- oring. Cool until it begins to set. Beat until light, turn into a wet mould and chill until firm. To the skins add 1 cup boiling water; cook 5 minutes and add i/a cup sugar Cool. To serve, unmould the jellied pulp. Serve with the sauce niade from skins Six servings. u HOLD EVERYTHING PLAYGROUND FOR MEN ONLY 7. - h .44.4Y .a . +.ora. ., .. °.. ".u..c.:..woi s.ar.�'6`R''+o,itn'at•.Scm.• :'4...:4,�Sxr <..:; ... .., „<c :. , ,.,,,:.�.•.,.,.::,,;.:;:: A unique playground for men only—sometimes for good little boys and girls—is in operation at the Lachine recreation grounds, near Montreal. Here a man is shown taking his children out for a jaunt. l \W®IC OF THE ftE�s 1 Canada Could Use Them One• of the Australian govern- ments has bought 150 Bren gun Barriers for conversion into tractors for farm work. A good idea which might well be adapted to meeting the needs of Canadian agricultur- ists. Hard To Get Confronted with the alternative of keeping the services of his butler or losing his , wife, a Los Angeles man kept the butler, his wife testi- fied in a divorce court. Well, good butlers are hard to get. —Windsor Star. Live And Learn The trouble with most elections is that it takes a year or two be- fore the majority of the people dis- cover they voted the wrong way. — London Free Press, Maniacs At Large When we hear of women—and • some men—kicking one another on the shins, breaking each other's glasses, stealing packages of mer- chandise out of baskets, and acting generally like demented people in chain grocery stores, we begin to realize the need for increasing the size and number of our mental in- stitutions. —St. Thomas Times -Journal..., U.S. Imperialism Now For a change it is now "Ameri- can Imperialism" and not British that is under attack in Europe. Communist parties there agree with Moscow that the United States is "seeking the domination_ of the world." Britain was never accused of more than picking up some territory here and there. —Ottawa Citizen. The Power We Need Steam power transformed the nineteenth century. It will take team -power to transform the twen- tieth. —Edmonton Journal. No Joke Just as we had almost split our sides looking at our old family album, we saw ourselves in a mirror. —Brandon Sun. Freedom From Top We trust all those voluble critics of British policy in India are not- ing the fact that self-government in that country is being imposed by British authority. Freedom is com- ing from the top down, not from the bottom up—a curious reversal of the revolutionary practice. —Ottawa Journal. D'J'EVER? MY T►CKeT SAYS / �.': ALOWER Ei—ERTH AND THIS IS IT! :/ WHATSTH!" 1137//4/4/,///, re ktftif O'SEVEi . STAR.TA HULLABALOO WHEN YOU STEP INTO A PULLMAN AND FIND • THAT SOMEONE ELSE'S CLOTHES APE PARKED • Irl You/2 LOWER. BERTH• — WELL,tfalO T„'.% THINK YOU'O I"11ND CHANGING IaERTdt$ WITH THIS GENTLEMAN, ,1"/ ffr AND You GET MAD AS `TH!✓ p©nTER, `ralES TO EXPLAIN THAT' WO WERE. SWIiCHEl) FROM A GOWER TO AN UPPED BERTH p--- CEI?TA I N LY CERTAINLY, S `Y' ' I %MISON TAKING TH. uP•P R >, r^� -ro vim< e 1 "I' EAE, I ER F4 fa' A WOuNDE'D VETE.PAN0WHO'ARRIVES ©wTNE SCENE A MINUTE LATEFL' 4 7jb .:rte 1 i�4 _ \ p Q � .�11• .- A;.'e'©ul°EVER FEEL EMBARRASSED A� YOU HAaTENEa Tcq SQUARE ,Yo U t L P r� LACK w PA 1f10 Es 16.w BREWERY' Restraint In Buying Panic buying of salt cleaned out one store of a month's supply in a day. There is quite as much need of a patriotic self-restraint now in purchasing items in short supply as during the war itself. Patience will help storekeeper and customer to make what is available go round. —Gliobe and Mail. Senrl for details of FREE TRIAL } OFFER of British made appliance for l relief from Rupture. Recommended by Medical Profession. Light and comfort- ; able—you will not know you have it on. Holds the hernia firmly. In many cases the ruptured tissues reunite and rupture ;, is conquered forever. 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GENUINE ASPIRIN IS MARKED THIS WAY tom, ah.a. ran REG'LAR FELLERSS—Publicity's Glare TAk . IT POWN TAM IT DOWN! I'LL STUDY ;' ILL Vast -r'CIErr GOOD MAR145t TAKE 1611 DOWN! y GENE BYRNES P.RJT14MEriC• •0 -„ SPELLING -16.._ GRAMMAR -q 11-161't3Ft,'Y ��RAPHY •� IPO M't O ..t