Zurich Herald, 1946-06-27, Page 3JUST IN FUN
11
Both Sued
The bride of a few weeks noticed -
that Iter husband was depressed,
"Gerald, dearest," she said, "I
know something is troubling you,
and 1 want you to tell me what
it is.. Your worries are not your
worries now—they are 'our wor-
ries."
"Oh, very well," he said. "We've
just had a letter from a girl in
Manchester, and she's suing us for
breach of promise."
Lovely Dream •
A girl bought a ticket in a big
lottery, and insisted on having the
tic'ket numbered 51. It turned out
to be the winning number, and she
received 1£3,000.
A reporter called upon her and
asked: "Why did you especially
want ticket 51?"
"Well," she said, "for seven
nights 1 dreamed of number seven,
and seven sevens are 51, so I
bought the ticket!"
Just a Clue
"Mary, my husband came home
very fate last night. Can you tell
the what time it was?"
"Well, ma'am, 1 don't know ex-
prily, hut when 1 got up this
morning the master's hat was
swinging backwards and forwards
no the hatstand"
Suspense
A\ large flustered woman. drag-
ging a small boy, sailed through
the station barrier and approached
her waiting husband.
"Hello," said the man, "You're
!ate.'
(3h, don't talk about it, Alf,,'
replied his wife. "1 never 'ad such
at tilne! \Vhat with young Bill
'anging on me 'an me 'anging on
to the luggage -rack, the train 'ung
up in a tunnel and you 'angin'
about the station for rue, I was in
n regular state of suspense."
To The Point.
The daughter of a wealthy but
hard-working manufacturer was be-
ii1g courted by an indolent man.
The father did not like this type
and frowned upon the affair. One
evening he called the young man
aside and asked: "Now how about
money? Can you keep going?"
The suitor stammered out: "I—
I—I'm afraid I can't very well,"
"'Then don't keep coning," said
Elle father tersely.
No grains
"'Chat idiot next door threw a
stone through the window while 1
was playing a Russian piece on the
piano."
"Silly fellow! Now he will hear.
you all the plainer."
Ought To Be
A family living in a suburb of
Melbourne, finding the usual no-
tices on the gate ineffective in dis-
couraging hawkers and canvassers,
replaced them with the following
oiie:
"Beware of the Agapanthusl if
attacked, do not run but walk slowly
backwards."
Reported 100 per cent efficient.
Neither Good Nor Bad
The beer in the officers' mess
was not up to standard ,so it was
sent out to the men, Meeting a ser-
geant of the company later on, an
officer asked what the beer was
like.
"lust right," said the sergeant.
"Did the men think it good?"
asked the officer.
"Just right," the sergeant re-
peated,
"What exactly do you mean by
'just right,' sergeant?" the officer
persisted.
"Well, it's like this, sir. 11 it had
been worse we couldn't have drunk
it, and if it had been better we
shouldn't have had the chance."
Both
He: "Is she i rogressive or cun-
>ervative?"
She: "I don't know. She wears
lass year's hat, drives this year's
:n1., and lives 1',11 next 4'(141'' nl
Erred
Jimmy, who had been climbing,
Trees; came in for the second time
with his trousers torn.
"Go upstairs and mend them.
yourself," ordered his liarrassed
mother.
Some time later she went to see
how he was getting on, The trolls -
=1.s were there, hut 110 Jimmy.
Puzzled, she ranee downstairs,
noticing as she returned that the
sellar door, usually shut, was open.
5110 went to the door and called
clown loudly and angrily: ".Are you
running about clown there without
your trousers on?"
The reply came sternly' in a
tnan's deep voice: "No, n:,.'..'
f'In reading the gas ureter."
CROSSTOWN
By 'Roland Coe
"You mean t' tell me your al' mall gets sore if you have just
ONE subject you didn't get `excellent' in? What is
he, an efficiency expert?"
MOPSY by6t.AINs PARKER
I'M $O GOOD I PAVE TO GIVE
MYSELF A HANDICAP a°
VOICE OF r H 1E PRESS
Stick to Old Ways
An American congressman de-
clares that the U. S. Navy has a
secret weal.cm "far more deadly
than the tonic tomo" Person
ally, we're old-fashioned; t h e
atomic bomb is enough for us. .
—Edmonton Journal
Tho Good Olcl Days.
An automobile salestnan in De-
troit
etroit says wistfully Lhat he once
sold a car a day. But of course
that was Lack in the days when
Detroit ..duced a ca{ a day,
—Peterborough Examiner
Faith Or Luck?
lvlotoristr believe in Providence.
You can tell that by the way some
of them drive,
' —Quebec Chronicle -Telegraph
' Bad Either Wa3
The Allies must pay a bitter
price for keeping their defeated
enemies from starvation, but they
must pay a bitterer one if they
don't.
—YTancouver Province
Last Word -Almost,
A Detroit engineer has (If:signed
a car which appcicts tc, be about
the last wo d in automotive cngiu
erring. Included are: Movable re
dining chairs for all but the drive, ,
a back seat that converts '11th a
double 'ped; a fibre glass plastic
body; door controi'ed by electric
push -buttons; air-opet>,te l spring;
and an engine pla.ed at tlw rear,
In short, everything but an auto
uratic muzzier or hark -seal
drivers.
—Calgary Alberti.11
Air Castlet
An Ohio .. a.n plan.. 10 construct
a small home atop a 3118 -foot
Most of us have had little luck.
building castles in the air.
—Giie ,h Mercury
'Vo Dne That Mean
It sor. of restores your faith in
the human race to find that no one
aboard that train in Chicago corn.
plained „ause it sleeved down for
the puppy, who wa ,dered through
a subway ahead of it.
—Windsor Star.
I Ealy U. S. General
'HORIZONTAL general
1,5 Pictured 56 Possesses
founder 'of VERTICAL
Decoration 1 Jam
Day, Maj.- 2 Native metal
Gen. — ---t- 3 Strike
9 State 4 Northeast
12 Great Lake (ab.)
13 Hypothetical 5 Adore 17 Near
Analr•er to Vrev,nu„ PozEre
WP
FRO
ANN,
REE
ODD
'ERA>I
ROM
NAP.
SME
�ER
DE
force
14 Egyptian.
sun god
15 Pastry
16 Permit
17 Farewell.!
18 Millimeter
(ab.)
19 Everything
20 Dined
21 Still
23 12 months
26 Night birds
29 Before
30 Age
31 Kitchen
utensil
33 Coin
35 Skin opening
36 Gaseous
element
38 Greek letter
41 Tablet
43 Winglike part
46 Any
47 Also
48 Dispose
50 Affirmative
51 Lieutenant
(ab,)
52 International,
language
53 Not 0110
54 Tree fluid
55 He was a
—War
L
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ARES
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6 Lyric poem 20 Exist
7 He urged the 22 Pedal digit
Grand — 24 Electrical
of the Reu»l.)- engineer (ab.
lie to corn- 25 Zeal
memorate 27 Inscribe
Decoration 28 Louisiana
Day (ab.)
8 Cognomen 31 Italian river
9 Health resort 32 Golf device
10 Be sick 33 Too
11 Shouts 34 Toward
G
O
B
35 Disports
37 Knots
39 Soft mineral
40 Against
) 41 Puddle
42 Account of
(ab.)
44 Meadow
45 Snake
47 Three (prefix)
48 Propel a boot
49 Tavern
53 Negative
THE SPORTING THING
"Okay! You win the pot!"
THE SPORTING THING.
"Oh, he's tine'. l'ou'd 'level
know he'd been in the army.!'
roc, Busy. Perhaps
The ,Pinion race i, improving
every (him, but the human race.
—Quebec Cllruni, le-'helearal:l
Try It On Our Roads!
A railroac 1.i 14auul, it seems,
rusts what is ea1led a "w!rilewaslr
special"
It carries 110 put,srngcls, and
every time a bump is hit 1{ spins!)
of whitewash is dropped to Mark
the place fort repair crew,
. il.•1i'nx Herald.
When .-Ie Gets Thrashed
'1'hc neighbour dursu't 11141. In de-
ny her cldbiien anvilitha that is
good for them, so w lice her 1110811
little boy demands 0 thrashing she
gives `t hint
A Nice Tho gla
A scier,tisi says there's enough
gold in the oceans 1. give each 111
the two billion inhabitant; of the
world $1a",001 14Lulli, "hut it would
cost •more 'loll that to i,rn,incc it.'
For an instant thea', we thought
the profess,.r had something!
--Ottawa Citizen.
Tir •-•:ome Peopl,.
There is nothing. so tiresome as
0 woman who is vain of her beauty
unless it it, a .na,l who i= vain
of what h; is i>leas ail to call his
brain,
1;r;,1 ,1, 1, Sun.
Reconversion. Sign
It is a real ,ion of reconversion
when we read that a former Como
manclo has broken his 1cg by fall -
i! -Ig over a stepladder •whieb his
wife had left in the cellar entry.
—Peterborough Examiner
Macdonald's
FINE CUT
POP—Double Talk
WPERE'S TH6 MAN
WOO DOESN'T WAt'T
WORK ? �t
1 HEARD Y01-3
HE FIRST TIME
y J. MILLAR WATT
I It
Ir.k.na4 Er. l,l•San nrn",..ln. ineL1
MUTT AND JEFF— STATESMANLY SPEAKING N. C. STANDS FOR NO CHANCE
By BUD FISHER
t)N, I SAY, JEFF, Ot.DB0Y1
UTT'S
TOMORRONt IS MUTTS,
WEDDING ANNIVERSARYAND
I'M TAKI G UP A LITTLE
2
3
4t
MUTT
BEST
HE's
A
CHAP!
�l•-.1111
1.l
..., A'.
tl'
1% l
N.C.
/
',
S+,rFi{
„
�g 1,
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NOW, Now MUCH CAN
I PUT YO. oWN
VCR? \• N.C.
f.;
1 ,4''i lo -'
, A �.''
1 .. ,
N.C? W14- AT DO•YoU MEANS
LW FIAT IS CAIS N,C?-'--- 1,1'i�,
NNN,C?- - N. c?'_�,/
TME LITTLE CHAP
MUST MEAN HE
NAS NO CASH!
THATS IT! N.C.
1 NO
5 t.1.. CASH!
' ELLO! �--
LONDON,ENGLAND!
LET ME SPEAK
To MY GOOD
FRIEND,WiNSTON
CHURCHILL!
8
c0LLECTIoN
FOR A
GIFT)
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12
THE SPORTING THING
"Okay! You win the pot!"
THE SPORTING THING.
"Oh, he's tine'. l'ou'd 'level
know he'd been in the army.!'
roc, Busy. Perhaps
The ,Pinion race i, improving
every (him, but the human race.
—Quebec Cllruni, le-'helearal:l
Try It On Our Roads!
A railroac 1.i 14auul, it seems,
rusts what is ea1led a "w!rilewaslr
special"
It carries 110 put,srngcls, and
every time a bump is hit 1{ spins!)
of whitewash is dropped to Mark
the place fort repair crew,
. il.•1i'nx Herald.
When .-Ie Gets Thrashed
'1'hc neighbour dursu't 11141. In de-
ny her cldbiien anvilitha that is
good for them, so w lice her 1110811
little boy demands 0 thrashing she
gives `t hint
A Nice Tho gla
A scier,tisi says there's enough
gold in the oceans 1. give each 111
the two billion inhabitant; of the
world $1a",001 14Lulli, "hut it would
cost •more 'loll that to i,rn,incc it.'
For an instant thea', we thought
the profess,.r had something!
--Ottawa Citizen.
Tir •-•:ome Peopl,.
There is nothing. so tiresome as
0 woman who is vain of her beauty
unless it it, a .na,l who i= vain
of what h; is i>leas ail to call his
brain,
1;r;,1 ,1, 1, Sun.
Reconversion. Sign
It is a real ,ion of reconversion
when we read that a former Como
manclo has broken his 1cg by fall -
i! -Ig over a stepladder •whieb his
wife had left in the cellar entry.
—Peterborough Examiner
Macdonald's
FINE CUT
POP—Double Talk
WPERE'S TH6 MAN
WOO DOESN'T WAt'T
WORK ? �t
1 HEARD Y01-3
HE FIRST TIME
y J. MILLAR WATT
I It
Ir.k.na4 Er. l,l•San nrn",..ln. ineL1
MUTT AND JEFF— STATESMANLY SPEAKING N. C. STANDS FOR NO CHANCE
By BUD FISHER
t)N, I SAY, JEFF, Ot.DB0Y1
UTT'S
TOMORRONt IS MUTTS,
WEDDING ANNIVERSARYAND
I'M TAKI G UP A LITTLE
is
PAL
r
*0
REALLY
FINE
I,�
`
/
KNOW,
YOUR
AND
P,
MUTT
BEST
HE's
A
CHAP!
�l•-.1111
1.l
..., A'.
tl'
1% l
N.C.
/
',
S+,rFi{
„
�g 1,
�,z1
r
NOW, Now MUCH CAN
I PUT YO. oWN
VCR? \• N.C.
f.;
1 ,4''i lo -'
, A �.''
1 .. ,
N.C? W14- AT DO•YoU MEANS
LW FIAT IS CAIS N,C?-'--- 1,1'i�,
NNN,C?- - N. c?'_�,/
TME LITTLE CHAP
MUST MEAN HE
NAS NO CASH!
THATS IT! N.C.
1 NO
5 t.1.. CASH!
' ELLO! �--
LONDON,ENGLAND!
LET ME SPEAK
To MY GOOD
FRIEND,WiNSTON
CHURCHILL!
/'ELLo, WINNIE, OLD BOY/\)
I I'D LIKE You'To
ADE M • FEW POUNDS
, 1 WANTTO
'° a' HELP A
;(s ''' RIE D!
'
c0LLECTIoN
FOR A
GIFT)
4
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.,�,.�
1
'
*�
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; "
'W
I1
4
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Vii.
Ni.
(NO CON,MENT) r.�'-.,, R.
i�,'"
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k , s'�
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REG'LAR FELLERS—Choosy Shopper,
YOU
FRAAr'/lco
ME - --1QU
t7OU ELE-
cRfJ55TGR.!
/F-1EE ! HERE:!
WHAT' ALLT1-IE
ARGUMENT ?
ITS PUD, MOW.
El HE. PNIDE,13• U`P
( TM' ERRAND LIST
YOU GAVED US.'
WELL,THA•r
SES ft (:r FA!FL
'TO ME!
iT WASN'T,,
MOM!
I. 1-►ADPA
CARRY TI4'
STUFF 1 BOUGI-IT-
Ry GENE BYRNES
WHILE HE WENT
SHOPPIN' PER, SUGAR.,
BACON; EGGS, MEAT,
BUTTER.N' STUFF
HE KNEW THEY
WERE OUT OF.' J
r.
,adz. linrk nn