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Zurich Herald, 1946-06-06, Page 3A Forget -Me -Not :.eighbor (sympathetically) — "°And I know how long these years Must seem to you." Deserted Wife—"Yes, but I re- member when be left ,just as if it Mad been yesterday—how he stood at the door holding it open until six flies got into the house.' Would Like To Know The teacher was explaining to the class the meaning of the word "re- cuperate." "Now, Tummy," she said to a small boy, "when your father has worked hard all day, he is tired and worn out, isn't he?" "Yes, ma'am." "Then, when night cones, and his work is over for the day, what does he do?" "That's what mother wants to know," Tommy explained quickly. He Does "Hullo, you hack again?" said the warder as he locked the burglar in a cell,• "Yes," replied the burglar bitter- ly, "and all because 1 need glasses." "How's that," asked the warder. "I was twiddlin' the kno bsot a safe, .and a dance band started play in ,' Hired A doctor, in want of a strong lad, advertised to that effect, and, be- ing a ventriloquist, adopted the following grins ruse to test the nerves of the applicants, The first,,a great hulking lad,' he sent with 'a basin of hot gruel to • feed a skeleton he had in a dark cupboard. During the process of feeding, the skeleton observed in deep; sepulchral tones: "It's deuced ho'." The boy's hair stood on end. 1 -le dropped the basin and Iled in terror. The second applicant, a sitiall shock -haired lad, had to go through the same ordeal, but when the skeleton made his remark, he re- plied unconcernedly, "1 could have told you that. Blow on it you fool." Be got the job, All Depends She: "Here's a story of a man out 'west who bartered his wife for a horse. You wot.ldn't swop me for a horse, would you, darling? .He: "Of "iurse not (pause), ,but I'd hate to h:.ve anyone tempi inc with a good motor car." Not Long He was screwing up hie courage to propose to' the wornail oJ, his choice, hut was at a' loss fur the appropriate words. At last he Man- aged to stammer: "W -would you help me to spend niy salary?" "'Why, of course," she replied brightly. "I—I mean for ever," he con. tin ued. "Oh, it won't last as long as that," she assured hint with a :visile, Vanishing After office hours, Alf and Bert lingered in idle chat. Then, with a sudden glance at nis watch, Alt grabbed his hat. "1 must rush at I" he exclaimed. "'I've got an appointment." "Who's the girl?" :naf;ea Bert, - Is it as important as all +hat? "It is—and it's no girl. It's a fellow to whom I owe a fiver." "Where are you meeting -him?" "Meeting • him nothing 1 He s coming :,;i el" Send It Up It sometimes takes as long as 20 minutes to bring down an airplane flying "blind." If six or seven planes are circling above an over- cast airport, the lass to arrive may have a tom, wait before being able to land. One remark overheard at La Guardia field in New York City in such a situation has already be- c•,me a classic. After "holding" over the field for almost an hour, an army pilot called plaintively thruugh his mike: 'Either get me Town in 15 min- utes or send a gas truck up here!" Wives Are Like That The former Marine wa; relating some of his adventures on a Pacific Island to friends who had come for Of evening, "At times," he said, "we had to hack our way through what seem- ed impenetrable jungle masses. Only the strongest got through." His wife, who had been listening front the kitc en, remarked: "Why didn't you tell me all this before, dear? Now I won't have to think about weeding the garden this year," How Nice Brunette: I'm i11r. (Butler's wife. Blonde: I'm his secretary, Brunette: Oh, were you? Different—Kindness A son at a university was sup- plying pressure for more money from. home, "I cannot understand why you call yourself a kind father," he wrote his parent, "when you haven't sent me a cheque for over month. What kind of kindness do you call that?" The father wrote by return: "That is unremitting kindness.' This Curious World By William Ferguson A 22 -YEAR-OLD ORCi--I RCs THAT HADIVEVER GROWN MORE THAN 1,000 BUSHELS of FRUIT IN ONE YEAR, PRODUCED 4,000 491..4.47/ALS- THE 'urfEEL.STHE VERY FIRST YEAR. AFTER 200 COLONIES OFB.EE.S' WERE PLACED NEARBY DURING THE BLOOMING .SEASON. e COPR.9944 BY NEA SERVICE. INC. T. M. PEC. U. S. PAT. OPf, EACH YEAR MORE THAN 100,100,000 AMERICAN CIVILIANS ARE KILLED BY ACCIDENT' AND ABOUT 9, 000; 000 INJURED. 'WHEN YOU BACK OUR GOVERNMENT, OUR. GOVERNMENT BACKS YOU, ;.rays JOE F. PERRY, eoyac.Y £�ryrf, xowa Finnish President I Gu ea HORIZONTAL VERTICAL 7 1 Pictured 1 Greater 1 ,. Finnish presi- quantity 2 Era 3 Compass point 4 Require 5 Multitude 6 Cloth measure 7 Ailing 8 Letters 11 Brazilian state 12 On top of dent, Baron Carl Gustaf 9 Type of molding 10 Jar . 11 Peel 13 God of love 16 Roster 19 Dined 14 Horsemen 20 Public notices 15 Seas 22 Meadow 23 Universal 1.7 Dispatch language 18 Domesticated 24 Be quiet! 20 Exclamaticn 25 From 21 Symbol for 26 R1 1 samarium .agi ava 28 New Mexico (ab.) 29 Church part 31 Transaction 33 Interpret 35 Substitutes 36 Be unsuccessful 38 Existence 39 Former Rus- sian ruler 42 Either 43 Therefore 45 Myself 46 Palm lily 47 Steal 49 Wand 50 Pitcher 52 Cupola 5..3 Lamprey 55 Narrow inlet 56 Health resort 57 Addend an .swer lo Previour: Puzzle. Efil EMMA MONK © Ll am ma MES E ft Ti,Y El C!�® c�Gii NNE.T -r A,`KD OE Pael NN N OD JAMES OR • T t GORDON ' :9 T BENNETT S T © STEE PEAT D R N N A N• NO RENO EW Y ORKP A P E 24 Vends 41 Be carried 27 Mountain 44 He is presi- crest dent --- 30 Monkey Finland 31 English river 45 Belongs to me 32 New Guinea 48 Honey makers port 49 Highway 34 Essence (ab.) 51 Corded fabric 36. Golf term 52. Accomplished 37In a row 54;Music note 40 Small particle 55 Sun .god Coal to be Dug Report of the existence of a billion -dollar coal deposit 40 miles north of Hudson Hope is just one more evidence of the vast potential resoufces awaiting development in B.C.'s Peace River area. —Vancouver News -Herald. Britain is Exporting Shout it aloud! Tell the buyers from overseas that Britain is back taking orders, and delivering theist on time. —London Daily Express, Perish The Thought Many are beginning to fear that the world of tomorrow will be very much like the world of today, only more so. —Kitchener Record. War and Peace It's easy turning out ships and planes like doughnuts in time of war. The truly herculean feat is to build a couple of million houses amid the distractions of peace. —Detroit News, Uncrowned Kings Officially, Mr. Truman may be President of the United States. But, if the American people want steel, they have to see Phil Mur- ray, If they want automobiles, they must kowtow to Walter Reuther. If they want music, they are obliged to knuckle under to J. Caesar Petrillo. If they want coal to heat their homes and keep their industries running, it's a case of kiss John L. Lewis' big toe, or else. —R. M. H. in Windsor Star. Progress in Fire In this enlightened age, most people have little use for common or garden fire. Electricity is more scientific and soon we shall do our cooking with disgruntled atoms. Sulphur is gone both from our matches and our spring' tonics. Time marches on. —Vancouver Sun. FOR A HAPPY FIOME serve Maxwell House Coffee. Its Mend contains choice Latnn� AMerican. coffees. Those who are most particular about coffee vote it "Good to the Last Drop" ZI D $ J EVE R THEY TAL.k As0u-r CLEAN, -up AND PAINT -UP WEER, BUT WHAT is THE ctTY DOING ABOUTTHIS MESS? 1T. ABOUT TIME THEY WERE TOLD A THING OR Two/ ITS A DISCRACe THE VstA,y JUNK 15 AI -LOWED -To PILE UP IN THAT VACANT 1.07;.. SPOILS THE LOOK OF THE WHOLE 1'IEIG!-t8ORHG10D/ DJEVER GRQ\>WL. YOUR HEAD OFF ABour THE OLD RUSIBiSH AND JUNK THAT 15 WINO AROUND THE vacANT- !_oy NEXT To YOUR Ho USS You KNOW,DEAt2, IF YoU ASKED OUR NEIGHBORS, MR.LYLE AND MR,MORRISON, I'M SURE THEY'D HeLp You CLEAN UP THIS MESS , \ IN NO TIME' 10 ; AND "i'OU sTAR.-r TO STORM 1Nro THE., !-douse To PHoNe THE CIT'? AUTNoRITIES TOFo TELTHEML. THEM WHAT YOU THiNf< IT CERTAINLY MAKES A BIC. D(FFERENCE, EN,si? NICE: WORK, l=ELLO WS! 1 THINK 11-L DaA LITT CLEANING UP AROUND MY PLACE Too 11 8uT YOUR, W1e"e SUBTLY sUGGEST'S THAT rr MIGHT 85 A D000 IDEA To ASK `CWO OR THREE OF THE NEIGHeoR5 To PITCH iN AND HELP You CLEAN IT UP STUFF AND TI -ZINGS "Jones insists we add another monkey !" STUFF AND THINGS "Testing - one - two - three- four!" POP—Art ®AWES (i 1111""lia ire i r u V 7,I .y , .SOA DJEVER CTA CREATeR MCI. OUT 01=' DOING A JOB IN YouR LIFE, WOWING [THAT Yau'Ve DONE YouR BIT TO HELP THE LOCAL PAINT -UP AND CLEAN-UP CAMPAIGN! PUBLISHED PUBLISHED IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST BY 6-S W BREWERY XHOW AM GOING TO SELL_ THIS NOW By J. MILLAR WATT KNOGt< OPF 'ThE 1 C)T1-4 I? A R M .AND CALL iT v.ENUS MUTT AND JEFF—Yes Indeed, the Mutt's Had a Big Blowout on Their Anniversary, Yes Indeed By Bud Fisher ' NEr LSO FIXING SIRSiD1 IN WHERE IS MUTT? fir' ur'f � � t rf r 11111— MRS,M ;� i �'i O...I� 1.5 MUTT, BEEN TWENTY AND HAVEN'T TAKEN -i .w WEVE MARRIED YEARS YoU ME OUT0NCEl a Yst fi Id_ '"r"� �` 1117 M'LOVE, AVERY MAN! FINDTFIE % J .,, .1 ' -yi 1 S fill r I'M VERY UNNAPPY JUST BECAUSE yOU NEVER TAI«. MR OU}'r1 �'n rfl"'. ` �--'- � _ w-/El�)i �M•M _ ._.-.. SMELLS WORSE! WAIT`LL I STRIKE A MATCH! a �,*it5t' GAS t �u in f � Rf 1 ilk ''• ., y o.�..- f Q !'t�`"* .t A ' '�1' K r, " ,'' �' C J ° ,.,.. ,;„„... °;;.;yl f1, —i —' ' THATSHoULD MAKE HAPPY/ MRS,MUTTVERY STTIM IT'S THE FIRST TIME .:1 THEY WENT OUT (:a ToGETHER IN R�" i„ TWENTY YEARS) `u1� C .,', ."''"1" -----..3-`, .-":4. .. . , . •' �� t .�`� w c: .) /= J (, L -� �`' r�_ ... --•--'"�� 9 a -r y?_v % gr----, ionii P- 4111. ' 1 ? .. r:; F �r ; 4 i",' =i yO. ,. ++ '• 'y ii..;,, 3 Iq IS 1-,S. 16 ■ -. LO I ■I■21 7::: .0 4 ;;25 y J r, 21 j z8A:,,;, 30 ( 31 'S7.. -A. 33 3+t 3T■■'t,1 ?Jfl _m SU 39.840 41 42. s ' a 43 4-F 11. r e y5 Ill ;7.j'46 ■ ■fig 7;,123:.; '}}?;�r7 Y' �R<#r '.®�■.i 1 vl ■�! al 53 {G er 5�} z; mac' KL .Ml 5G Coal to be Dug Report of the existence of a billion -dollar coal deposit 40 miles north of Hudson Hope is just one more evidence of the vast potential resoufces awaiting development in B.C.'s Peace River area. —Vancouver News -Herald. Britain is Exporting Shout it aloud! Tell the buyers from overseas that Britain is back taking orders, and delivering theist on time. —London Daily Express, Perish The Thought Many are beginning to fear that the world of tomorrow will be very much like the world of today, only more so. —Kitchener Record. War and Peace It's easy turning out ships and planes like doughnuts in time of war. The truly herculean feat is to build a couple of million houses amid the distractions of peace. —Detroit News, Uncrowned Kings Officially, Mr. Truman may be President of the United States. But, if the American people want steel, they have to see Phil Mur- ray, If they want automobiles, they must kowtow to Walter Reuther. If they want music, they are obliged to knuckle under to J. Caesar Petrillo. If they want coal to heat their homes and keep their industries running, it's a case of kiss John L. Lewis' big toe, or else. —R. M. H. in Windsor Star. Progress in Fire In this enlightened age, most people have little use for common or garden fire. Electricity is more scientific and soon we shall do our cooking with disgruntled atoms. Sulphur is gone both from our matches and our spring' tonics. Time marches on. —Vancouver Sun. FOR A HAPPY FIOME serve Maxwell House Coffee. Its Mend contains choice Latnn� AMerican. coffees. Those who are most particular about coffee vote it "Good to the Last Drop" ZI D $ J EVE R THEY TAL.k As0u-r CLEAN, -up AND PAINT -UP WEER, BUT WHAT is THE ctTY DOING ABOUTTHIS MESS? 1T. ABOUT TIME THEY WERE TOLD A THING OR Two/ ITS A DISCRACe THE VstA,y JUNK 15 AI -LOWED -To PILE UP IN THAT VACANT 1.07;.. SPOILS THE LOOK OF THE WHOLE 1'IEIG!-t8ORHG10D/ DJEVER GRQ\>WL. YOUR HEAD OFF ABour THE OLD RUSIBiSH AND JUNK THAT 15 WINO AROUND THE vacANT- !_oy NEXT To YOUR Ho USS You KNOW,DEAt2, IF YoU ASKED OUR NEIGHBORS, MR.LYLE AND MR,MORRISON, I'M SURE THEY'D HeLp You CLEAN UP THIS MESS , \ IN NO TIME' 10 ; AND "i'OU sTAR.-r TO STORM 1Nro THE., !-douse To PHoNe THE CIT'? AUTNoRITIES TOFo TELTHEML. THEM WHAT YOU THiNf< IT CERTAINLY MAKES A BIC. D(FFERENCE, EN,si? NICE: WORK, l=ELLO WS! 1 THINK 11-L DaA LITT CLEANING UP AROUND MY PLACE Too 11 8uT YOUR, W1e"e SUBTLY sUGGEST'S THAT rr MIGHT 85 A D000 IDEA To ASK `CWO OR THREE OF THE NEIGHeoR5 To PITCH iN AND HELP You CLEAN IT UP STUFF AND TI -ZINGS "Jones insists we add another monkey !" STUFF AND THINGS "Testing - one - two - three- four!" POP—Art ®AWES (i 1111""lia ire i r u V 7,I .y , .SOA DJEVER CTA CREATeR MCI. OUT 01=' DOING A JOB IN YouR LIFE, WOWING [THAT Yau'Ve DONE YouR BIT TO HELP THE LOCAL PAINT -UP AND CLEAN-UP CAMPAIGN! PUBLISHED PUBLISHED IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST BY 6-S W BREWERY XHOW AM GOING TO SELL_ THIS NOW By J. MILLAR WATT KNOGt< OPF 'ThE 1 C)T1-4 I? A R M .AND CALL iT v.ENUS MUTT AND JEFF—Yes Indeed, the Mutt's Had a Big Blowout on Their Anniversary, Yes Indeed By Bud Fisher ' NEr LSO FIXING SIRSiD1 IN WHERE IS MUTT? fir' ur'f � � t rf r HES GAS STOVE MRS,M ;� i �'i JUST ” • ° ' ' g l A LEAK TT$ „.� w �,'� — _ ,, c 1- .--_._— e,, - MUTT, BEEN TWENTY AND HAVEN'T TAKEN -i .w WEVE MARRIED YEARS YoU ME OUT0NCEl a Yst fi Id_ '"r"� �` BUT, I'M BUSY YoUWANTME To LEAKINTNIS GASSTOVE+ ce M'LOVE, AVERY MAN! FINDTFIE % J .,, .1 ' -yi 1 S 1 ��,'I' .,. r I'M VERY UNNAPPY JUST BECAUSE yOU NEVER TAI«. MR OU}'r1 �'n rfl"'. ` �--'- � _ w-/El�)i �M•M _ ._.-.. SMELLS WORSE! WAIT`LL I STRIKE A MATCH! a �,*it5t' GAS t �u in f � Rf 1 ilk ''• ., y o.�..- f Q !'t�`"* .t A ' '�1' K r, " ,'' �' C J ° ,.,.. ,;„„... °;;.;yl f1, —i —' ' THATSHoULD MAKE HAPPY/ MRS,MUTTVERY STTIM IT'S THE FIRST TIME .:1 THEY WENT OUT (:a ToGETHER IN R�" i„ TWENTY YEARS) `u1� C .,', ."''"1" -----..3-`, .-":4. .. . , . •' �� t .�`� w c: .) /= J (, L -� �`' r�_ ... --•--'"�� 9 a -r y?_v % gr----, ionii P- 4111. ' 1 ? .. r:; F �r ; 4 i",' =i yO. ,. ++ '• 'y REG']LAR FELLERS—Friendship's Finish By GENE BYRNES 's A REAL FRIEND FOR YA,-•- 114 "PAL OF TH' PEOPLE!" PATCHla UF PE,OPLE'5 TROLtBLES-- ADVISIN' NEWLYWEDS LE.TTIN' LOST RELATIVES STAY LOST! 'AD10 &TATIO I'VE LISTENED TO ALL YOUR. P r4OADCAST,5, MISThE L PAL — HOW'S ABOUT D15N1.14' ME. OUT A DIME. A DAY 'r' KEEP ME HAPPY ? WRAF YA BIG FAKE oY! WILL I SHOW 410111 UPI R JC STAil4