Zurich Herald, 1954-12-23, Page 7M ,,," t SPORTS COLUMN
t' Selection of Christmas cards may give
you worrinlient, and scouring through the
telephone book for addresses may pro-
duce headaches, but whatever the
trouble, these activities are' important.
They herald the day when the entire
christlan world joins in celebrating,
"Peace on earth, good will to ail Men."
One may be inclined to look backward at Christmas time.
If one looks far enough, one finds that early Christmas ob-
servances on the continent took place in • a crude chapel,
much like the bark -covered "long houses" of the IIurons.
This was the Mission Ste. Marie near the eastern tip of
Georgian Bay.
To that wild land of forests and roaring waters, Jean de
Brebeuf, Norman noble' and kin of the Dukes of Arundel,
had come as a Jesuit missioner. Any .there under the con-
stellations of the Northern winter, be brought the Indians
together to sing to the tune of the Breton "(Inc Jeune Fu-
Celle," a Chrismas carol he had written for them in "their
own language.
That's something worth thinking about as one struggles
through mailing lists, with its late omissions and Christmas
shopping, and dressing the tree, and providing the turkey.
We don't have any idea of the words of the Brebeuf carol,
though no doubt it was a simple and reverent piece of.
versification. As simple as the days before premature tinsel
and baubles, store -windows of electric trains, black lace
and ties which once were considered too gaudy to wear.
So let us forget the crowded stores, the weeks and weeks
of "The Red Nosed Reindeer" and the other tunes with which
Tinpan Alley. outs in on the Christmas dollar, and say with
Thaokeray:
I! wish you health, and love and mirth,
As fits the Solemn Christmas -tide.
As fits -the holy Christmas birth,
Be this, good friends, our carol still . . .
Be peace on earth, be peace on earth,
To men of gentle will.
?belt comments and suggestions for this column will be welconiilet
by Elmer Ferguson, c/o Calvert House, 437 'forme St., Toronto.
Calvert D STILLER.S LIMITED
MAHERST5URG, ONTARIO
C Talk Tiii
He Feil In Love
Angelino, son of Signor and
Signora Paoli, of Marlia, a vil-
lage near Pisa, was from the
early days of his childhood un-
able to talk to anybody but his
another. His parents thought
this was a mere phase in his
development, and that in time
it would disappear.
But that is where they were
wrong. The affliction , appeared
to be a permanent one. An-
gelino could not talk to anybody
else, in spite of the special
trouble his father used to take
with him. No doctor could give
a satisfactory explanation. So
Angelino grew to manhood.
When news about him began
,to get about, a radio reporter
arrived at the Paoli home. With
him he brought a microphone,
and, strangely enough, Angel
filo had no difficulty in speaking
a few words into it.
In this way his affliction be-
came known to the world. Hun-
dreds of letters poured in, among
them one from a young Duttch
girl named Cocky Verwer, who
showed such sympathy with the
young man that a regular cor-
respondence sprang up between
them.
Then recently Cokky came to
:see Angeline. They fell in love
with each other . at first sight,
and then the miracle happened.
Suddenly Angeline began talk-
ing to Cokky, He chattered so
fast he could hardly be made to
atop.
In a few months' time they
will marry. Cokky has returned
home, but Angelina keeps on
talking.
REAL LONG SNOT!
Ever tried to find a needle in
a haystack? In other words,
have you ever attempted to
find something which appeared
irretrievably lost?
That's what some people did
in South-West Africa. They
tried to find a gem smaller than
a match -head, lost in sixty miles
of scrub desert. Aiid now comes
news that they have succeeded.
The gem was one of a dozen
or more which encircled a ring
worn by Mrs. Priscilla Whyman.
She visited the desert, which is
a vast diamond mine, and some-
where amid those sixty miles of
scrub she accidentally dropped
the 'gem. She only missed it
when she chanced to glance at
her ring after returning to
Johannesburg, 800 miles from
the mine.
Diamond company officials
instituted what appeared to be a
hopeless search for the gem.
That was last February. And
now imagine the amazement of
a worker in that desert mine the
other day when he suddenly saw
amid a heap of lustreless pebbles
the polished glitter of a smooth-
ly cut diamond,
The law of chance, operating
at odds of 150,000,000,000,000 to
one against the woman getting
her jewel back, had enabled
him to find the missing stone.
Says Mrs. Whyman: "The
diamond could have fallen any-
where, for 1 covered much
ground during my visit to the
anile. It was a fantastic chance
which brought it back to me!"
kcngest Telegram—Pretty Gerry Browin (right) . of, CJAD in Mon.'
tread reads off names to Wanda Jekel of Canadian National
Telegraphs. More than 20,000 persons signed a "Cheer Up
Chuck" telegram to be sent to Alouette Halfback Chuck Hun.
singer in Harrisburg, Ill. The radio station sponsored the message
which measured more than 800 feet long—the longest telegram
aver sent between the two 'countries.
Something To "Brood" About — Mama's looking woeful about
the sad situation, but this biddy on the M. O. Olsen farm has
cheerfully gone to the dogs. She mothers the pups constantly,.
and rules the roost completely when Mama goes out for a walk.
EI{ - 'wPAd
tic
A member of the cast of a
Broadway play was recently
fired for playing pranks. The
part of a prankster called for
her to mix a drink for one of the
actors. At one performance she
added a liquid distilled from
herbs which had the effect of
puckering his mouth, as a result
of which he could hardly speak
his lines.
Tough luck on the culprit,
tough luck on the victim; but
this measure of reprisal certain-
ly won't deter other practical
jokers. They've been with us
through the ages, and . are a
pretty hardy race.
The Hudson River is, for the
most part, very • wide, even
more so than the group of loaf-
ing "wide" boys who were
• throwing stones into it. Stop-
ping
topping to watch their antics was a ,
big raw-boned Yankee who had
made ,his way from the back-
woods into New Yorlc State. A
little time elapsed before the'
stone -throwers began `ribbing the
newcomer.
In reply to their taunts, he
explained that he wasn't too
bad at throwing, himself. Only
recently he had heaved -a man
clear across a river back home
and bet he could even heave a
man right across the Hudson.
One of the New Yorkers
promptly laid down ten dollars.
The feat was impossible. he
said.
Grasping the challenger by
the • slack of his trousers, the
Yankee promptly flung him
straight into the river. Crawl-
ing out, the shiverer asked for
his winnings. ' Nothing doing;
for, said the big man, "I didn't
wager to do it the first time.
Just said I could do it;" and I tell
you I can."
With that, the dripping vic-
tim was again flung into the
river. "Third time •never fails,"
muttered the thrower as the
soaked man struggled gasping
to the shore. But by this time
the victim was through. The
joke had gone far. enough; ten
dollars changed hands, and the
giant went on his way.
Setting the seal on a hilarious
subject is H. Allen Smith's book
"The Compleat Practical Joker."
It's one long laugh from begin-
ning to end, and as loopy as the
antic spirit that moves those who
figure in it.
Motoring in the juggernaut
age was a great, adventure,
driver and passengers' waiting
for the explosion that might
hurl them to kingdom come. It
was in those good old days, re-
cords the author, that Roy Fur-
ber — brother of the famous
humorist James Thurber --
thought up a lively prank to
play on his father.
Roy collected together a great
many articles from the kitchen,
bundled them up incanvas and
fixed them beneath the family
car in such a manner that a tug
on an extending string would
release the whole collection,
Father, contentedly enjoying
a drive, was suddenly shaken
to the core by a clatter of
knives, forks, tin-openers, pie
dishes, pot lids, ladles and egg
beaters falling noisily on to the
road. "Stop the car!" he yelled.
"I can't," replied Roy, "The
engine fell out." His father's
remarks when the joke was ex-
plained to him are not recorded,
Well up on the list of funsters
is Jim Moran, an American who
hit upon a hair-raising means of
relieving the tedium of driving
endless miles alane in his car.
He bought a rubber mask de-.
picting the face of an idiotic
eharacter, This he fitted to the
back of his head, his vision for
the read ahead remaining Un-
obscured: Dowling along at a
fair speed he would wait until
ing out to pass him, then lean
out of the window with the.
idiotic, goon -like face looking
back.
The effect on the overtaking
motorist must have been shock-
ing, writes Mr. Smith. He would
see the leering goon at the
wheel of °.a speeding car, looking
back with no apparent regard
for the highway ahead or the
safety of other road -users!
There are quite a number of
surnames in existence which
leave their owners wide open to
ready-made shafts of wit. Mr.
Pierce Bottom became weary of
jokes about his names. He de-
cidedh to redirect the fun; dish
it out instead of always being
the victim.
Wading through telephone
directories he sought out people
with "bottom" in their names!
Bottom, Bottomley, Winterbot-
tom, Throttlebottom, Greenbot
tom, Sidebottorn, Higginbottom.
To these and many others he'
sent engraved invitations to a
dinner to be served in the sub-
basement of a London building.
The majority of the "bottoms"
turned up;. but not Pierce Bot-
tom The result was ' that the
guests had to pay their own
bills. Among other items on the
menu ,was, of course, rump roast.
H Allen . Smith relates an
amusing incident which con-
cerns two famous writers, great
friends, who were setting off for
a. lecture !;our in the United
States.
When they had taken their
seats in the train it appeared
that only one ticket could be
found by the writer to whom the
job of getting tickets had been
delegated. The collector could
be heard making his way along
the compartments, and the pian
without, a ticket became panicky.
"Drop down there," said his
friend, indicating the floor, "and
I'll.lay This suitcase across you
he won't notice you."
His friend dropped to the
floor,' crouching as low as pas-
sible`; The heavy suitcase was
placed across his back. In came
the collector with his punch, and
was ,handed two tickets by the
other writer.
"Who's' the other one for?"
asked the official.
"It's for my friend down
there," came the reply, accom-
panied by a handwave to indi-
cat.. the hunched figure beneath
the suitcase.
"What's he Join' down there?"
demanded the railwayman,
"Oh, he always travels that
way]"
In the days when the tele-
phone was of the stand -up -
receiver -on -the -hook variety, a
pr>;%ctical joker telephoned six
of his 'friends. Disguising his
voice he explained that he was
a telephone engineer and that
the lines were to be cleaned out.
He strongly advised them to
cover their phones—tie a sheet
over them, or a pillow -case,
even a large paper bag would
do because "we're going to blow
out the lines, and if you don't
have your instrument covered,
there'll be dirt and grease all
over your house."
The prankster then visited his
six friends in turn and was high,
ly delighted to notice that in
each case his instructions had
beet obeyed!
"I have listened carefully to
you for a long time, Mr. David-
son," said the judge, in acid
tones, "but' I am none the wiser."
"I hardly expected your lord-
ship to be," replied counsel,
politel:4,r, "but .i` thought you
might be "better informed."
ISSYJE :54 1954
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISI
HARP omens
11 week old heavy breed started cocker
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TWEDDLIE CITICTC neecmniens .LSCA,
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idzo and Empire Whites for Tarim size.
Write today for literature. Tini;en'e
Turkey Ranch & Hatchery, Harrow, On.
tarto,
The time to buy little pigs is when
the price of pork is low, The same
thing applies to chickens, Eggs and
Poultry meat are low now, but we look
for much higher prices next summer and
Fall, There won't be as many ohieke
hatched this year and those' that 'tio buy
will cash in. Be sure and buy the right
breeds for the job you want the chlek9
to do, We have three apeoial egg breeds.
They lay more on less feed at a Boat
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We have three special broiler breeds,
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started chicks, laying pullets. Catalogue,
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VERGES ONTARIO
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WANTED old and recent coins. Can.
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Good premiums, Send 25o for 8 latest
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STIR SALE
SNOWSHOES: Alt sizes and style-,
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EXPERT craftmanship. These clocks
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1530 BISHOP ST., 14I0NTREAL
Trap For Rabbits
Laugh, A Lion
Kruger National Park in
South Africa is the one place
in the British Commonwealth
of Nations where Adventure
with a capital A abounds., On
the , roads one meets lions—and
not zoo -tame lions either—ele-
phants, a score of other animals.
With its 8,000, square miles
of rolling veld' ad hills, bord-
ering on Mozambique and
Southern • Rhodesia, the Nation-
al Park was the "baby" of Pres-
ident Paul Kruger of the old
Transvaal square Republic, who
set aside 1,800 miles, known , as
the Sabie Game Reserve, fifty-
six years ago. In 1905 four
other areas were added.
Severe penalties ranging up
to five years' imprisonment are
imposed for poaching or trap-
ping in the park, and natives
from across the Portuguese
border are out trapping there
almost every night, _
Recently- two natives set
traps for rabbits or small buck
in the dead of night. At dawn.
they were back and hurried to
the trap in the dark. They
were right on it before they
realized that it was no rabbit
but a lion that had been caught.
Both were severely mauled be-
fore they were rescued—and
then thrown into jail.
At Letaba, the elephants'
paradise, trouble sometimes
brews, for some visitors can-
not seem to understand that
they are not immune from an
elephant in a car. Last season,
for instance, three Americans—
two men and a woman—were
jaunting through the park in a
4,000-1b. American car when
they spotted elephants. They
stopped and the woman got out,
walked up to a monster and
offered him a peanut!
Quick as a flash (elephants
do move that fast) the elephant
turned on her and chased her
to the car which heneatly tip-
ped over on its side.
There are fourteen rest
camps in the park and lucky
visitors can go to see the real
pride of the park, the thirty-
six lions, nearly all cubs, who
have been reared to treat their
visitors with some respect.
Lion cubs can be lovely lit-
tle things, just like kittens, and
the game warden has to wateh
out that a few aren't "lifted"
by visitors. A few weeks ago a
prominent English society wo-
man and her husband roamed
through the park. She was
wearing a fur coat he spite of
the fact that the thermometer
stood at eighty-five degrees.
They reached their car, and
as it was pulling away the na-
tive sentry heard a faint growl
from under the fur, Quickly he
called a junior game warden
and the lady was asked to hand
over whatever it was that
growled. It turned out to be a
two -week-old lion tub.
DLEAJ770111) BAGS
FLOUR Sags 100 lbs. else, • Otic each:
Sugar Page 27e each.: Minimum �t12 bags.
Free 200 ft, Ribbon with
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Ribbon, Assorted colours 1 inch wide,
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2825 Glrouard Ave., Montreal 08. Que.
SCOTCH. Gln Runs 000 Liyuau, 'Iavore
Send 41 for 2 bottles Pnatpntd. O'laver
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Man.
DIXON'S REMEDY — FOR NEURITIS AND
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MUNRO'S DRUG STORE
335 Elgin, Ottawa.
$1.35 Express Prepaid
IT'S NEW -- relief of arthritic, neuritic,
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UNWANTED HAIR
VANISHED away with Sacs Palo.
Saoa-Pelo is not like ordinary detlla-
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