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Zurich Citizens News, 1959-01-14, Page 2PAGE TWO ZURICH Citizens NEWS ZURICH edifea4 NEWS Published every Wednesday Morning at Zurich, Ontario, for the Police Village of Zurich, Hay Township, and the Southern part of Stanley Township, in Huron County. Printed by Clinton News -Record, Clinton, Ontario Authorized as Second Class Mail, Post Office Department, Ottawa A. L. COLQUHOUN a Hi RB. M. TURK HEIM Publisher Business Manager Subscription Rates: $2.50 per year in advance, in Canada; $3.50 in United States and Foreign; single copies, 5 cents. Subscriptions payable to Business Manager, Zurich Citizens News, Box 149, Zurich, Ontario, or to district correspondents. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1959 WAS IT RIGHT? W E WON DER at the wisdom of an almost entirely new council in the Village of Hensall firing their clerk -treasurer before they ever had a chance to see what kind of a job he was doing. For 30 years James Paterson was handling the affairs of that village, and all of a sudden out of the clear blue sky he was asked to resign. Why? We wonder if the three new councillors themselves know why they asked for his dismissal? It seems strange that at the first meeting of a new year they should want to get rid of the man, without ever having had a chance to work with him. Surely after 30 years Mr. Paterson was well enough qualified for his job not to be thrown out in the cold. The entire situation in Hensall has given the village a great deal of publicity of the type which they could have done just as well without. Unless the new members of council had reasons for their action which have not come out in public, we feel they should have given the matter more consideration than they did before they took action. Possibly they were the victims of too much heresay. The action of the Reeve, Norman Jones, in resigning after the clerk's dismissal would seem to indicate that he was well satisfied with the job Mr. Paterson had done. However, his resigning will not help the situation in any way. A new council with only one veteran member and a new clerk will present a bit of a problem for the welfare of Hensall. We hope this case will be an example for any other muni- cipality who may have been contemplating such actions as were taken in Hensall. As we said before, there may be two sides to the story, but if there is we feel the council should come out with their reasons, and they should be sound. OUR BIRTHDAY WITH THE PUBLISHING of this issue of the Citizens News we are completing one year of publication of our new Zurich weekly paper. Just one year ago, on January 15, 1958, the first issue of this paper was mailed to about 1,500 box holders in the surrounding area. The first four issues of the paper were sent out as free samples, and then we started to accept subscriptions. Starting from nothing, the paper continued to grow steadily to the point where we now have a circulation of approximately 900. As far as we know this is already a larger circulation than any Zurich paper has ever had before. And it is still growing; every week we continue to add new paid subscribers to the list, and we feel sure that within a few months we will reach the 1,000 -mark. Coming from a village of 700 population this is certainly some- thing we all should be proud of. There are many factors which contribute to the prosperity of a weekly newspaper. First of all we have our advertisers; without their support a newspaper would be impossible. Then we have our efficient system of correspondents; each and every one of them is doing a fine job of bringing us the news of their district. All the various organizations have press reporters, whom. we depend on to bring us the activities of their groups, We have writers of special features, — the sports column, recipe box, and the enjoyable needlepoint. Without all these attractions our paper would probably not be as popular as it is. It is very fitting at this time to thank all those who have helped us In any way. All assistance has been very much appreciated. No doubt from time to time there have been items appear in the paper with which some folks cannot agree. At times people would probably be offended at certain articles appearing here. We don't mean to slight anyone through the medium of the Citizens News, but we do want to print actual facts and accounts of all happenings in this community. If at any time you have something which you want the public to know, don't be afraid of sending in a "Letter to the Editor", and we will gladly publish it, providing, of course, we know where the letter comes from. Our objective with the Citizens News is: to keep the public informed of all the happenings in the community; to give our subscribers valuable information on where to buy all various types of merchandise; and, to try and build our community into a. better place in which to live. With the co-operation of everyone we feel sure we will see many more birthdays of this paper, such as the one we are enjoying this week. NOBODY KNOWS WHEN A NEW year dawns nobody knows what is ahead for them. It is likely just as well, If we could have a peep at the things the forth -coming year holds in store for us, a lot of us might lose heart and life would lose its zest. We wouldn't try very hard at work or play. We would let the foreknown disaster, minor or major, rob us of our en- thusiasms, our simple joys and even the will to live, But because we don't know what is in store for us, let us make the most of each day as it comes along. Let us enjoy the sunrises and sunsets, the laughter of our children, the satis- faction that a job well done brings, the beauty of prized posses- sions, the fascinating facets of human nature as revealed by our fellowmen. Let is strive to do our best to be a little kinder, a little orae patient, a little more selfish. None of us know what is ahead for us personally or as a family or nation or world. While there is still time, live so you have no regrets about your own shortcomings in the months ahead. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 19 SUGAR and SPICE (By W. (Bill) Last week I had to make a spe- ech at a banquet. Now, for a pol- itician or a preacher, a tycoon or a teacher, or even a plain ordinary bee esser, there's nothing more pleasant than to be invited to ad- dress a gathering. It's second nature to them. They take to it like a pig takes to swill. :k k * But for hundreds of thousands of simple, inhibited Canadians like me, it's about as simple as swim- ming Lake Superior in your long underwear. x 4' * When we stand up, rubbery - legged, hands sweating, white as death, and face all those people looking at us expectantly, it's nothing short of a case for the S.P.C.A. a: * * Our minds go as blank as a sud- denly -drawn window blind. Our tongues cleave to the roofs of our bone-dry mouths as tightly as ever Cleopatra clove to Mark Antony. Our Adam's apples become even as pomegranates. Our little sheaf of notes, over which we laboured so hard, flutters like a bride's bouquet. k .k * It wouldn't be so bad if people who invited you to be guest speak- er gave you a topic. But they won't do it. They're too polite. When they ask you to volunteer for the Torture of the Seven Deaths, they say: "Why, any- thing at all. I'm sure that any thing you give us will be worth- while." * * Which is very unfair, for us who become moronic when confronted by an audience. If somebody ask- ed me to give an address on the Roman Empire, or the Lost Cities of the Amazon, or the Ancient Chaldees, I'd be prepared to do some research and make a stab at a speech, supported by notes car- rying heads, sub -heads, shrunken heads and dry little jokes that fit- ted in here and there. Nothing to it. 4 4' But I went into this one cold. I was slaving away at my speech, however, and had worked out rather a neat turn of phrase or two, when it suddenly struck me, with the stifling pain of a blow in the throat, that I had no jokes. -k 4k * Now, as everyone knows, an af- ter-dinner speaker without jokes is about as much use as a wagon wheel without spokes. He may have natural eloquence, a good topic, a fine appearance and a commanding manner. But with- out jokes, confronted by 200 peo- ple, who have just stuffed them- selves with turkey, in a warm hall, he simply can't get through. He might as well be talking to a couple of hundred seals who have just cleaned up a ton of fish. ik k 'k And the coward who knows this, however poor a speaker he is, is always welcome as a speak- er, because he has a collection of hoary stories. All he has to do to make a wonderful impression is: tell the audience how delighted he is to be there, and tell a joke; mention vaguely the purpose of the gathering, if he knows it, and relate an anecdote; thank the la- dies at some length for the splen- did dinner, and regale his listen- ers with a fuuny story; tell those present they are the salt of the earth and it is an honour to be a- mong them, and wind up with a final joke. They'll go home claim- ing that he was the hest speaker they'd heard in a coon's age. • * * As I am a coward, it produced a special terror in me when I realized that I didn't know a sing- le funny story. When I was a young rip of a bachelor, I had quite a fund of them. But when I got married, I discovered that women, at least the one I got, have no sense of humour. * * * When we were first married, I'd come home with some real rib - splitters, and try to share them with her, but by the time I was finished trying to explain them, I'd be roaring and she'd be crying, so I gave up. * * 4' The very last time I tried it The Citizens News Sells Counter Check Books B. T. Smiley) was a couple of years ago. I heard this story and thought it would knock even the Old Girl out. You all know it. The two keen golfers on the ninth tee, ready to drive, when the funeral cortege came along the road bord- ering the golf club. One golfer took off his cap and stood with bowed head until the procession had passed. His friend asked the reason for the reverent gesture. "Least I could do," he said, •when he had clouted the ball. "I was married to her for over thirty years," 4' 4' The tears were running down my cheeks as I told this one to my wife. She looked at me as though I needed a shave, then asked rather crossly: "Why was- n't he at the funeral?" Since then, I haven't even bothered to listen to jokes, qe 9e 4 So, to cut a long story short, I had to make my speech without any jokes. And boy, was it dead. In fact it was as dead as the wife of the Englishman. You know the one. Two Englishmen met in their club. "Sorry to hear you buried your wife, old chap," said one. Replied the other: "Had to, old boy. Dead, you know." 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WEBB, D.C.* *Doctor of Chiropractic 438 MAIN STREET, EXETER X -Ray and Laboratory Facilities Open Each Weekday Except Wednesday Tues. and Thurs. Evenings, 7-9 For Appointmet -- Phone 606 FUNERAL DIRECTORS WESTLAKE Funeral Home AMBULANCE and PORTABLE OXYGEN SERVICE Phone 89J or 89W ZURICH HOFFMAN'S Funeral & Ambulance Service OXYGEN EQUIPPED Ambulances located at Dashwood Phone 70w Grand Bend—Phone 20w Attendants Holders of St. John's Ambulance Certificates INSURANCE For S t fety EVERY FARMER NEE S Liability Insurance For Information About All Insurances—Call BERT KL" °PP Phone 93r1 or 220 Zurich Representing CO-OPERATORS INSURANCE ASSOCIATION II TRON and ERIE DEBENTURES CANADA. TRUST CERTIFICATES 43/4% for 5 Years 4%2% for 3 and 4 Years 4% for 1 and 2 Years J. W. HABERER Authorized Representative Phone 161 — Zurich LEGAL W. G. Cochrane, B.A. BARRISTER and SOLICITOR NOTARY PUBLIC Hensall Office Open Wednesday and Friday Afternoons EXETER PHONE 14 BELL & LAUGHTON BARRISTERS. SOLICITORS & NOTARIES PUBLIC ELMEiR D. BELL, Q.C. C. V. LAUGHTON, L.L.B. Zurich Office Tuesday Afternoon EXETER Phone 4 OPTICAL SERVICE Most Modern in Spectacle Ware at Special. Prices A. G. HESS JEWELLER and OPTICIAN PIANO -TUNING and REPAIRING . Alf. Denomme R.R. 2, Zurich, ph. 95r12