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Zurich Herald, 1957-01-10, Page 2ANN€ L4IPST� 1(aw. run:Q.i Gu..aee r. "Dear Anne Hirst; I an 17, and we've been married .exactly three months. I told my husband we were too young, but he said he wouldn't wait another day, Now he wants to get rid of -me! "Last week he told me to leave and grow up.' (I didn't go; I'm writing you instead.) He says 1 talk too much and nag too much and. he's tired of saying where he goes whenever he :eaves the house. .. . "he is right, I do - complain and I do ask questions. But it Isn't jealousy, really. It's just ;fiat I love him so much I want be with him all the time, and all clay I think about things I weed to tell him about. "If he'll only give me another :hence, I could be a better wife! suddenly I do see what he means;" and I am• surprised he has stood me for this long. How .an I make him see that? He says. I've got to go on my own, it's the only way I'll :,;ever set- tle down. Anne Hirst, I've never worked in my life, 1 didn't even graduate from high school. . . . "I am scared and my heart is breaking. What shall I do? FRANTIC" TEEN-AGE CHALLENGE * 'Your marriage .is be ng at-. * tacked by growing pains, a * natural consequence when two * immature youngsters take on * the manifold obligations of ad- * ults, You have been 'blind to * all your duties except those * of love, and you couldn't see * that loving your husband in- * eludes the art of -understand- * ing him. * When he was dating you, he ' listened t'o yopr chatter, but *'now it bores ;'him to distrac- * tion. So he escapes — per- * haps just goes out for cigar- * ettes — but why must he tell * you where he goes? If he were k older, he would know that he a' should, if only so you wouldn't * worry. But he is too annoyed to think of that. ' Noiv you begin to see why • he_feels that way, and you in- " :tend to do what he asks — * g1;ow up. He owes you that *,chance, of course. I do not *` ,believe he meant that you go, * for he knows that you cannot earn a living; he was in a temper and said the first thing he thought of. Why don't you enter a busi- ness school? It will give yeti something real and practical to do, and soon you will un- derstand your husband's im- patience and be more inter- ' esting to live with. When he • sees you are, he'll begin talk- * ing of his office problems and '' find you a sympathetic listen- '" er. Tell him, the that you * ere staying where you are, * and all you ask is that he be * patient enough to watch you * prove your serious intentions. '" None of us has the right * to absorb another's individu- * ality. Each has various • facets '" of personality to cultivate; as * we do, we mature normally, * develop character, and dis- •a cover provocative ideas to in- * terest those we live with. * Most couples in this way avoid * the boredom which saps the '' spirit of so many marriages. , * Begin now to make your * home the place where your * husband prefers to spend his ".*(evenings. Invite mutual friends in, get to be part of * the group you knew six * months ago. • Your husband * will co-operate in making a * well-balanced life for you * both, and realize you and he * are socially attuned in a *pleasurable marriage. * * *. BE STOPS COMING "Dear Anne Hirst" What can I do? I' -n 21, and love a 'fellow very much. He says he loves me and hasn't dated any other girl. • Now I'm ' beginning to wonder. I don't hear from him as often as 1, did; .it's been two weeks since I went out with him. If -I'd only known him a couple Of months, I wouldn't think much of it; brit we've gone together over a year. "If he doesn't want to continue our relationship, couldn't he have called me up and told me? Shall I write or call him and see what's what? I just can't pass this off lightly —_I love him too much. CONFIDENTIAL" * Do.i't write to 'this young * roan, and don't call him. No ' matter what he says, I'm afraid • you would be just as badly * confused ° He knows he has neglected * you, but if you expect him to * explain why, you don't know * much about men. They usual- * ly lack such courage. Whether * he's been escorting somebody " else around, or has just grown * bored, doesn't matter; what * does matter is that he is not * as interested as he was, and * probably can't find the words * to explain it politely. He takes * it for granted you will get the * idea. * You take it for granted he is not coming back, and try " to interest yourself in other * friends. Sometimes it is wise * to imagine the worst and ac- * cept it; it leaves you free to * keep in circulation.` In a little * while, if he does not reappear, • your outlook will brighten and, * you will find life is far less * complicated without this * gnawing anxiety. * * * Whether you are 17 or 70, • you. will find Anne Hirst a warm= hearted friend who will approach your problem with sympathy and understanding. Address her at Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New Toronto, Ont. Modern Etiquette Q. When should a dinner guest who has finished eating place his napkin on the table? A. Not until the hostess has placed her napkin on the table. Q. Should each guest seat himself at the dinner table as soon -as he arrives there? A. No, until the hostess seats herself, everyone should stand quietly at his place. Q. I often receive social let- ters in which the writer begins by making excuses for having been too busy to write earlier. Is this good form? A. It is much better taste to avoid this. If you are really em- barrassed about your delay, in writing, say you are sorry, then plunge into your letter, REIGN AS REINDEER •— When h a burro not a burro? When it's masquerading as a reindeer for Christmas parade,, These two burros pulled Santa's sleigh and later gave rides to all the kids who clustered 'round for a close-up of "real reindeer. (rani the • North Pole". OH, SHOE, SHOE! — Actress Marie Windsor isn't just horsing around for a publicity picture'— she really knows how to shoe a horse. And she can tune up d, ,sor, like a garage mechanic, She picked up the skills when she Orrad en her parents' ranch. HRONIC w iNGEE wxdol . e P. Cta,olove Don't you think a brand new year is the most exciting thing that ever was? Just think of it- . • three hundred and sixty-five tin= lived days—and every one of • those days can be a .new begin- ning, as it were. The old year has passed . gone . taken.: with it all the hope,..fears, joys.. and disappointments that be- longed to it, All we can do now is review the past twelve months; throw .into 'the discard the -trivial things; the . grudge that we may have felt against . this person or that; the hurt.that grew and grew in 'our imagina- tion, although the. reason• for it didn't really .amount to anything anyway. Far more important • things belong to our memories of ;the old year—world -affairs; un-,„, ' rest among, nations; ou"r -nation- al economy,' -the agricultural - sit- uation, spreading inflation and our own very special family af- fairs. All these matters we can • now regard with a detached point of view—they belong to Yesterday -- what concerns us now ,is Today. In that regard Sir William -:Osler once said — "the chief worries of life .arise from the foolish habit of looking be- fore and after ... I urge you to live with `day -tight compart- ments' to ensure safety . . . shut out the yesterdays, bury then deep in the oblivion of each night. The load of • tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, if carried today, makes the strong- est falter. Shut off the future as tightly• as the past. Waste of en- ergy, .mental distress, nervous worries, dog the steps of the man who is too anxious about the fu- ture." That was . Dr. Osler's advice as it concerned his day and age. If he were alive today I think he would repeat that advice. But definitely. ' Bring that' sante philosophy in- to our own everyday lives and what a difference it might make. I was speaking to a woman the other day whose doctor had ad- vised her she must prepare for a major operation somewhere around next April. The idea is to build • up her strength but, from present indications, that same person is undermining her constitution by worrying about the operation to be. Her worry xs understandable but it certainly cannot do any good. Planning to meet an emergency is one thing; 'useless worry is something else again. We can all cite instances of events that have happened in our past — of things we worried about that never happened. I well remember one time when our family doctor called me into his office and warned me that in al] probability Partner had only six months to live. That was ten years ago and Partner is with us yet. But you can imagine the needless worry I went through . until further tests proved the. first diagnosis to be wrong. And last spring, if you recall, we were very concerned about Daughter before the second baby was born. But the baby arrived on sche- dule; Daughter got along Tine and the baby was the best ever. More recently I was in a dither about Christmas . . , Who wasn't? . we were sure nothing would be ready. Well, you know what happened. If anything was miss- ing nobody knew it. There may ISStTE 1 W..,1051 have been a chair or two that didn'tget dusted — but who no- : ticed? Everyone w*as . well and happy; the homecomers arrived and also got back again safely— ' and wasn't that all that really mattered? As for world affairs and what }nay: ,happen in the Middle East -and in Hugary, I couldn't hazard a guess. History is being made so rapidly that anything I might "say could be sadly out of date by 'the time it got into print. So I'll leave it at that. You know, and I• know, that we are all greatly disturbed about the dark war- ;touds that • are gathering so I krioW you will not take my lack of comment 'as lack of. interest. 'Chit being understood;, I w i l l confine my remarks to matters nearer - home: Now it is after Christmas we find more or less of a relaxed feeling in almost every home. We have time now to think and talk about all that happened during the Christmas season. And while we are putting our house in crder it would really be a good idea to put some of the children's toys away in a box — reserve them as special treat for wet days and sickness. The same thing might apply to what is left of the pastries; cakes and candies. A dose of magnesia might be more welcome than a continua- tion of Christmas fare ! And how about answering some of those letters while the home news is fresh in our minds. (I am really hoping to take my own advice on that one — not only to answer family letters but also those re- r.cived from kind readers of this column. You don't know how 1 appreciate those letters.) Well, I think all that remains for me now is to wish you all a very Happy New Year. I sin- cerely hope that 1957 will bring happiness, good health and good fortune to each one of you. It may be a difficult year but re- member, the Good Book says -- "As thy day so shall thy strength be." What more can we want? On TV, 1 saw one British movie that was so old the part Of Henry VIII was played by Henry VII. —Red Skelton Drive With Care Sailaries Under "Help Wanted, Male," a Toronto newspaper recently car- ricd a classified advertisement for "young men," 16 to 13 years of age, to act as "truck helpers." No particular education or skill was required. No previous ex- perience of any kind was neces- sary. The job paid $40 for a 35 - hour week to start, with time and one-half for overtime. The boy who took one of 'these jobs would be earning, before. overtime, only $29 a week less than a policeman does, only $26 a week less than a fireman does, and only $14 a week less than a public school teacher does, when they begin work in Toronto. Yet all of these others put in a con- siderably longer week than the truck helper would. And if the boy chose to work overtime he could—as truck helpers are doing --raise his wages by $20 or $25 a week. He -could thus be making substantially more than a teach- er; approximately as much as a policeman or fireman. Under "Help Wanted, Female," there was another advertisement offering $222 a month to young girls who could type 40 words per minute (somewhat less than the average for experienced typists) and were prepared to take tele- graph messages over the phone. Practically next door to it was an advertisement offering a regis- tered nurse with operating room experience the 'high salary" of $287 a month. The truck helper's job and the telephone recorder's job are by no means exceptional examples of high wages being offered and paid for inexperienced labor. At the Ford Motor Company plant in Oakville, a mail boy, with junior matriculation or its equi- valent, can earn between $50 and $60 a week to start. If - he is willing to. work in the plant he can earn more than that. (And not just at Ford, but at almost every major factory - in and around this city.) At Bell Telephone, operators start at something like $38 a week but, because of shift work, they average $42.50. Railways will hire unskilled boys for about $44 to be mechanical apprentices, and will promise them increases every year. High Schools report that after lour years there (and often after only two) students . take jobs which pay an average wage of between $40 and $55. For part- time work last summer, students were earning an estimated aver- age of $47.50 a week. Further- more, anyone who is willing to deliver telegrams in Toronto can make 85 cents an hour to start, and can put in as many days' work as he likes—this in a job which asks no other qualification these days than that the employee can walk. It is not many years since jobs such as these "were paying—and youngsters who took them were accepting -sums like $10 a week (during the depression) and $15 a week (during the first years of the war). The 1941 census reports that in June of that year, the bulk of workers in Ontario aged 14 to 19 were earning less than $450 annually, and the bulk of those aged 20 to 24 were earning less than $950. So it is safe to say that earnings of unskilled highschool graduates (and non - graduates) have almost tripled in the past 15 years—years during which the average wages of all Ontario workers did little more double. The factors behind this extra- ordinary rise in prices paid for adolescent labor appear to be purely economic ones. Canada's expanding economy is today creating more new jobs, at a faster rate, than ever before. This alone would be sufficient reason for an acute shortage .of man- power of every kind. But coupled with it is the declining birth rate of 16 to 20 years ago. which is acting to create, now, an abnor- mally acute shortage of _ new recruits for the labor force. At the same time that the sup - For "Low" Jobs ply of young workers is unusual-. ly small, the amount of work being assigned to their particulate group is unsually large, Earlier retirement, for one thing, is tend- ing to lower the average age of the whole working force, Pen- sion plans,' for another, are tendl•- ing to make it difficult to engage anyone but the very young and the very old. These, together with the scarcity of manpower in general—and of - skilled man- power in particular—are forcing the employer to cut age, skill and experience requirements for his workers, thus upgrading them Into jobs which they, in the past, would have been thought unable to handle. And through it all, automation is busy making work easier and easier to do. So today the jobs which are open to young, inexperienced people are more varied and numerous than they have beenin years—and more remunerative and attractive than they have been at any time. - Yet even at that, even at $46 and $50 and $60 a week, even with requirements lowered al- most to the point of inefficiency„ • companies which hire young people., in quantity report that they are 'continually short of them. One telegraph company says it would hire a dozen boys and .girls on the spot, if it could find them. Another firm, ready to hire about 100 girls, ready to pay them about `$40 a week, ready to accept them with four years' less schooling than it really wants, is unable to• meet its quota. . — by Muriel Snider in the Toronto Globe & Mail Empire -Sheath! NEW PRINTED PATTERN SIZES 4789 12-20 PRINTED PATTERN Our new PRINTED PAT- TERN ATTERN — in the season's liveli- est new silhouette! It`s the Exn•- pire-Sheath— all long, slender lines; cleverly banded 'neath the bosom for the new .high -waist- ed high -waist -ed looked. Pure flattery for your figure! Printed Pattern 4789; Misses' Sizes 12, 14; 16, 18, 20. Size 16 requires 31/2 yards 39 -incl fabric. Directions printed on each tissue pattern part. Easy-to-use, accurate, assures perfect fit. Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS (stamps cannot be accepted, use postal note for safety) for this pattern. Print 'plainly SIZE. N A M E, ADDRESS, STYLK NUMBER. Send order to ANNE ADAMS, 123 Eighteenth St., New Toron- to, Ont: HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN — With bitter memories of the terror and flight from revolu •. tion -torn Hungary in the background, these' young Hungarian refugees have' fun in a hand., truck around the grounds- of Foxlease, Lyndhurst,-Ehglandn. Foxlease, home of the G'iriOuuie movement, is used to house ,some Of the many refugee families haat sought haven, in England.