Zurich Herald, 1934-08-15, Page 7A PAGE
FROM
MY DIAU
by P.C.2
1t's funny the way some people's
minds work. Perhaps I'd better say
Ws funny the way some people's
minds don't work. There are still
quite a few drivers who think it
doesn't matter much whether they
'have one headlight or two headlights
,'working at night. But if they only
!knew it, the one -eyed car is about as
!big a menace on the road as the reck-
less driver. Sometimes even worse.
I mind a case that happened not
so long ago. I was heading for home
about 10 o'clock one night. It was
not exactly raining, but it was threat-
ening—black and stormy like with-
out even a star shining. Just this
aide of Jonesville, a car came round
the bend with only the right hand
headlight lit and pretty nearly ran
I me down. I had to swerve violently
•I to miss him. At that it did not take
me long to turn round and go after
him.
"Sorry, officer", the driver said
when I pulled him up. I'll get it
fixed at the next garage."
"Mind you do", 1 told him, pretty
emphatically. "Don't you know it is
against the law to drive with one
light."
Sometimes, I think it is no use be-
ing decent with people. He had no
intention of getting his light fixed,
because next morning 1 learned that
he'd run down a motor cyclist some
twenty miles further on.
After my narrow escape i knew
exactly what had happened. The
poor victim of the accident had
thought it was another motor cycle
coming towards him, and he had not
been as lucky as I had in getting out
of the way. The driver got caught
all right and he deserved all he got.
If that motor cyclist sues him for
damages, I'll be giving evidence for
him, believe me.
It's such a trivial matter to get
adjusted, and it only takes a couple
of minutes to fix. Anybody driving
deliberately at night with one head-
light is just taking a mean advantage
of other people, and when the dead
headlight is on the left hand side, he
is a danger to everybody else on the
road.
I could say a lot more, but 1 guess
this is enough for now. I'll be see-
ing you.
Consider Mother and your meat you'll get no
his father says.
.At Time "There isn't any,"
MealCan Jim believe his
Her Efforts Are Too Often
Ignored in the Bickering
That Goes On At
The Table
The family sits down to supper.
That is, Mr Blank sits down and
picks up the carving knife.
Mother lifts Tomer up on his high
chair and ties a bib around his neck.
Hortense, a bit older, 'iiscovers that
she hasn't a napkin. Mrs. Blank goes
to the sideboard, gets one, pushes
Hortense in closer to the table. She
surveys the table and then goes out
for the coffee, bread and ice water,
which, Mr. BIank likes hot, fresh and
cold respectively.
"Oh, come on, Agnes. Can't you
ever get settled. I like my meal in
peace. You're forever fussing."
"I'll be there. You three go on,"
calls Mrs. B.
TABLE DICTATOR
Water and coffee poured, Mrs.
i Blank says. "Don't give me much
meat. I'm too hot to eat."
"There you go. Heat's a state of
mind. It doesn't bother me." He turns
the steak over with the big fork. "It's
all tough. And I don't like it so well
done."
"I know. But I have to get cheap
i cuts and cook it till it's tender. You
' can't get it rare."
1 "Dad, you didn't
gravy."
"It's too rich."
"I can't eat
.gravy."
"You can't have it. Stop making
that face. If you cry you'll leave the
table." ,
Horner sits back and drops his chin
,on his chest.
"Oh, Jim don't start that all over
again. Give him some gravy. I have
1 to make it for you and he sees it.
' And I do want some peace and
quiet."
"I won't give hhn gravy. Hortense
hasn't any."
"She doesn't like it.. Do sit up,
IHomer, and eat your dinner."
NO DESSERT!
But Homer doesn't. He drinks
water and eats bread and butter and
jelly.
"If you don't eat your tomatoes
wife uncertainly.
"No dessert!"
ears?
"I was going to get melon but
I hadn't enough change. It was too
hot to bake anything."
Mr. B. reaches in his pocket. "Isere,
Sis, you go down to the corner and
get a quart of ice cream."
"Oh, Jim, that's the laundry
money. I know it is. And let her finish
first anyway."
MOTHER IGNORED
"Goody!" shouts Horner, pushing
back his plate. He hasn't touched a
thing but, bread and butter and his
sister hasn't done much better. Their
father has eaten a big meal.
No one notices that Mrs. Blank
hasn't touched a bite but only sip-
ped her coffee. She doesn't like ice
cream. A pint would have been
plenty. And the laundry man to put
off again. And the meal, as usual,
wrong in Jim's eyes. He worries, or
at least feels responsible for the
children but not for her. Yes—she
doesn't know exactly why, but she
does feel the heat. No one notices
mother.
give me any
dessert,"
announces his
Have
'oa
Heard?
Jean was Henry's small Scots niece
and this was her first visit south of
the Tweed. On Sunday the service at
church had kept her enthralled.
"Do people who want to get mar-
ried have to ask the minister to tell
everyone?" she asked when they
came out, "1 should think . Mr,
Thomson must be awfully glad 'Miss
Day is going to marry him at last;
don't you, Uncle Henry? He must be
so tired of asking her."
Henry gave an audible gasp. •
"I suppose he must, Jean. But who
told you all this?"
"The minister! Weren't you listen-
ing? He said: 'I publish the banns
of marriage of Richard Thomson and
Mary Day. This is the third time of
asking.'"
Smithkins was undoubtedly travel-
' ling fast in his baby car, and the
friend who had accepted his offer of
a lift asked sarcastically if he were
going to a fire.
"No, old chap," said Smithkins.
"I'm trying to prevent one."
"How so?"
"Well, my Ohief said he'd are me
if I were late again."
Tom: "What's the difference
tween valour and discretion?"
Bill: "Well, to travel on an ocean
liner without tipping would be val-
our."
Tom: "I see."
Bill: "And to come back on a dif-
be -
potatoes without
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tortures of eczema, pimples, mosquito or
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soothing and healing the inflamed tissues.
No fuss—no muss. Clear, greaseless and
stainless—dries up almost immediately.
Try D. D. D. Prescription today. Stops
the most intense itching instantly. A 35c
trial bottle, at any drug store, is guaran-
teed to prove it—or money back. D. D. D.
ig made by the owners of ITALIAN BALM.
"It eMMer
That's what 98 out of 100
women say after taking this
medicine. It quiets quivering
nerves, gives them more
strength before and after
childbirth,tides them over
Change oLife : ; : makes life
seem worth living again;
LYDIA L liNKHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND
_....._ Issue No. 32----'34
..........-....--• __..'... —
ferent boat would be discretion. Do
you get me?"
Tom: "Yes; quite a good tip."
Two Hebrew gentlemen from. Bir-
mingham beard of a job lot of goods
going cheap in Liverpool for £10,000,
and they went up to see it. Finally,
after mueh argument, they bought
the goods for £7,000. As they came
back in the train Ikey said to Jacob:
"1 don't see, Jacob, why you need
have been so hard on that man and
have beaten him down from £10,000
to £7,000, because you know we don't
intend to pay for any of it!"
"Veil," was the reply, "you see, his
father was an old friend of mine, and
I don't want him to make a bigger
bad debt than I can help,"
Farmer Giles: "You be on time to-
day, Garge!''
Guard of local train: "Aye, we had
the wind behind us all the way!"
"What terrible crime has this man
committed?"
"He has done nothing. He was
merely an innocent bystander when
Tough Jim tried to kill a man and we
are holding him as witness."
"And where is Tough Jim?"
"He's out on bail,"
"I'm sorry to keep grumbling,
Mrs, Higgin," said the boarder, "but
really I cannot sleep in that bed an-
other night,''
"I'd have you know," was the land-
lady's haughty rejoinder, "that that
bed is fit for the Prince of Wales."
"Ab," replied the other, "that ex-
plains why it has only three feath-
ers,"
CHICK SPEEDS UP ON EGG 1
PRODUCTION.
London.—Living up to the condi-
tions and demands of the speedy and
productive modern world, the modern
chicken can teach its grandmother
how to lay eggs.
In five years the average yield of
eggs per heu, according to the latest
ministry of agriculture census of pro-
duction for 1930-31.
The laying capacity of the average
hen has advanced from 72 eggs a
year in 1908 to 120 in 1930, and there
has been a further improvement
since then,
Young Woman Wants
To Marry Rancher
Somewhere in Ontario a young lady
is pining to marry a rancher from
Alberta's foothills country and Mayor
J. Corrowman, of Lethbridge, Alber-
ta, has been selected for the role of
marriage broker,
The name of the young lady, who
gives her age as 23, and the town
in Ontario are not divulged by His
Worship. She is not .particular whe-
ther the prospective groom is dark,
fair, handsome or otherwise, but she
does insist he must be a rancher,
six-foot tall and a Canadian. The
mayor has promised to do his ut-
most.
BLACK WATCH ON DISPLAY
London—For the first time at the
Royal Tournament at Olympia the
2nd Battalion Black Watch has been
selected to give an historical display,
the history of the famous Black
Watch dating back to 1789.
We have very often wondered just
why it takes two pages of fine print.
ed phrases to say legally that the
borrower promises to pay back what
be borrows.
Two travellers got into conversa-
tion. One was most attentive to the
other, pressing cigars, papers and re-
freshment upon him.
Their destination was the same
town, and the seemingly much inter-
ested ono insisted that the other
should accompany him to his home
for the night. This completed the lat..
ter's astonishment, He asked the via -
eon for
zilch
enlightened by his Hewas would-
be host's reply:
"My wife says I'm the ugliest man
in the world and 1! just want her to
have a look at you!"
Erato-.- Thrill Giant Tube (anr>nc
4M iii«�':��;'....?1i�1•.":,, .,.
Part of the crowd of a million people, including hundreds of
American vacationists, who gathered at Liverpool, England, for the
formal opening by the King and Queen of the Mersey Tunnel, longest
underwater tunnel in the world. Connecting Liverpool and Birken-
head, the tube is two miles long, took eight years to build and cost
$40,000,000.
NOW A THICKER,
HEAVIER PLUG
FOR THE SAME MONEY!
�iVI/t4i
If you want a better
chew, ask for—
IG BEN
TRE PERFECT
Chewing Tobacco
DYED MOSQUITOES
There are half a dozen stations in
the country where entomologists of
the United States Department of
Agriculture turn atomizers on cap-
tive mosquitoes. The experimenters
are not trying to test the efficacy of
some new insecticide but simply to
dye the mosquitoes with eosine
(strong pink) or methylene blue.
Thisdone, the insects are released to
dry of and fly whither their fancy
or their thirst for blood will urge
them.
Behind the spraying with dyes—no
mean trick considering the ease with
which a delicate insect can be drown-
ed by what is to him a pelting rain—
dies a deep scientific purpose. How
far do mosquitoes travel from their
homes—slimy pools and stagnant
puddles? How long do they live? n
what places do they prefer to lay
their eggs? In a word, it is the ob-
ject of all this spraying to pry into
the private life of the mosquito.
A good deal has already been
learned. One specimen was still buzz-
ing about 104 days after a shower ar
bath of methylene blue. He and his
tinted pals may reveal much that will
make it easier to combat malaria.----
Border Cities Star.
The school of experience is open
24 hours a day, with no holidays ot
vacations.
Classified Advertising
Tobacco For Sale
irginla and Burely Leaf Tobacco&,
5 pounds, pipe, flavoring, $1.00 post-
paid. Donald Fuller, Kingsville, Ont.
THE FAMOUS
RUBBING
LINIMENT
Rub on—pain gone.
Get the new large econ-
omy size—Also avail-
able in smaller, regular
size. er
High School. Boards & Boards of Education
Are authorized by law to establish
Industrial, Technical and Art Schools
With the approval of the Minister of Education
Day and Evening Classes
May be conducted in accord-
ance with theregulations issu-
ed by the Department of Ed-
,lcation.
Theoretical and Practical
Instruction
Ls given in various trades. The
schools and classes are under
the direction of an Advisory
Committee
Commercial' Subjects, Manual Training, Household Science
and Agriculture and Horticulture
Are provided for in the Courses of Study in Public, Separate, Con-
tinuation and High Schools, Collegiate Institutes, Vocational Schools
and Departments.
Copies of the Regulations issued by the Minister of Ed-
ucation 'rnay be obtained from the Deputy Minister.
Parliament Buildings Toronto.
Application for attendance should be made to the Principal of School
:
IT i
City dweller and agriculturist alike delight in the unique displays and
diversified presentations of Canada's greatest industry at the"Show Window
of the Nations" where a_$100,000 agricultural prize list attracts "the finest
in the land."
The largest show building in the world is devoted to the display of farm
products ... Equine aristocracy of the Dominion ... live•stock groomed to
perfection ... Poultry, Pigeon and Pet Stock Show ... prize winning
samples of the world's finest grains ... fruit and vegetables that tempt the
most fastidious appetite ... the very latest in agricultural machinery and
equipment ... gorgeous blooms, an arresting array of colour ... truly a
most comprehensive presentation of modern agriculture at its best.
See all of these and a thousand and one other attractions. Interest and
education for everyone, that's your Exhibition. This is the big year.
COLONEL P. H. DEACON ELWOOD A. HUGHES
President .,General Manager
N TO
AUG.2440 SEPT.8
'i iI, Jai," .3s ni!: •...:..1