Zurich Herald, 1934-01-25, Page 7LES
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Sense is a better inheritance than
dollars, People who give a square
deal usually get a square deal, Re-
joice at another's success and study
his methods. Crime isn't due to pinch
of want; then it must be due to want
of pinching. And then, of course, the
nudists can save quite a bit on moth-
balls. Ten men overplay or overloaf,
where one overworks, The men who
sit around and whittle and wait for
the breaks are the men who stay
broke. The beginning of a 'perfect
evening is a decision to let the sup-
per dishes wait until morning. More
than one young husband has had his
eyes opened with a can opener.
•••••Ii•
Bald -Headed Man—"You say this is
a good hair tonic."
Drug Clerk—"Very fine; we have a
customer who took the cork out of the
bottle with his teeth and the next day
he had a mustache."
If 'Twas Told On You
lust a little bit of slander started in a
thoughtless way
May put a blight upon a person. that
quite likely long may stay,
Or, the thing may have been started
as some sort of foolish joke,
But think how you'd be insulted if
'twas told on your own folk.
Slander moves in vicious circles seem-
ingly without an end,
fend like all the slimy reptiles is a
• thing without. a friend.
He or she who spreads a story that
should not have been unloosed
May be certain in the future it will
sure come home to roost.
Man—"I wonder if dyeing the hair
Is really as dangerous as some of the
doctors say?"
Henpecked Neighbor—"You bet it
is. An uncle of mine tried it once and
within. a month he was married to a
widow with four children."
The 21st verse of the 7th chapter of
Ezra in the Bible contains all the let-
ters of the alphabet except the letter
1, examination show?.
Woman—"My husband is a perfect
brute, and I am going to get a di-
vorce."
Visiting Gentleman Friend—"Why, I
thought he was a pretty square sort
of fellow."
Woman.—"He may be square, but I
don't want him around. He thinks it
Is more important to pay the grocer
than to buy the, clothes I want."
Women's bathing suits used to be
n embarrassment in the water, but
now they are an embarrassment out
A it.
First Woman — "She told. me you
told her that secret I told you not to
tell her."
Second Woman—"The mean thing!
- I told her not to tell you I told her."
First Woman—"Well, don't tell her
I told you she told me."
The old-fashioned Beau Brummel,
who used to spend a lot of time rub-
bing the creases out of his trousers,
has a grandson who spends plenty of
money trying to keep his creased.
Pretty Young Thing.—"Are you sure
these curtains won't shrink? I want
them for my bedroom windows."
Candid ,Clerk—"Lady, with your
dgure, you should care—you should
tare."
Riddles
1. What is that which, by
away an I, has nothing left
nose?
2. What insect does the
manufacture?
3. What cord is full of knots which
cannot be untied?
4. Why is a• dressmaker like a
farmer?
5. What is it that goes all the way
around the house and never makes a
track?
Answers
1, Noise; 2, Fire flies; 3, A cord of
wood; 4, One sews wbat she gathers,
the others gathers what he sows; 5,
The wind,
Before—Ile talks and she listens.
Honeymoon—She talks and he lis-
tens.
After—Both talk and the neighbors
listen.
Woman—"Why did you marry such
a homely man?"
Visiting Woman—"He asked me."
English Girl Makes
Success of Operatic
• Work in Germany
A Lancashire girl, Miss Margery
Bdoth, is England's only representa-
tive on the German singing stage and
has won recognition seldom granted to
a foreigner at the Berlin State Opera.
Miss Booth is now in her fifth year
at the Opera House and during that
time has developed from an obscure
beginner to a leading member of the
company. This year she sang at Bay-
reuth, before thousands of people who
went for the annual Wagner Festival.
She was asked to carry the Holy Grail
in "Parsifal" and later talked with
Herr Hitler about music.
Miss Booth was born in Wigan and
lived with her grandparents, who, she
said, "abhorred anything conneeted
with the theatre." As a young .girl
she went to Southport and finally to
the Guildhall School of Music in Lon-
don.
"I remember with great pleasure
my days at the Guildhall School,"
Miss Booth said. "I had lessons from
Jenny Hymans, and Madame Strang -
ways and I owe a great deal to them."
When she was 21 Miss Booth carne
to Berlin and after only six months
with one of Berlin's most famous
teachees her opportunity came. At tea
one afternoon Aravantinos, stage de-
eigner, heard' her sing and insisted
that she should have an operatic audi-
tion.
It was a suecess. Professor Hoerth,
director of State Opera, offered hsr
an engagement, and Miss Boothwas
enrolled on the spot.
"I had a terrible time at first in
the opera," Miss Booth explained. "My
German was still imperfect and I had
to sing difficult Wagner roles with-
out a proper knowledge of the lan-
• guage and with no stage or orchestral
rehearsals." That trouble has gone
now. She speaks Gelman and French
fluently and sings as well in Spanish
and Italian.
• Miss Booth scored a personal suc-
cess at Bayreuth and was presented
to the former Crown Prince and
Crown Princess and to Herr Hitler.
Feudal Farming
In Great Britain
It will astonish many people, says
the Implement and Machinery Re-
view. (England) to learn that the
feudal way of farming is still being
practised in England, even in the
twentieth century. Laxton, Notting-
hamshire, is described as the last
village in England that is still farm-
ed on the manorial system, which
reached its zenith about 1200 A.D.
Here every farmer lives in the vil-
lage street instead of on his holding,
and his haystacks, sheds, etc., all
alongside his cottage. The parish
is divided into three huge open fields,
'each of about 400 acres used for
wheat, spring corn and dead fallow
in turn, and. there is also a large
common. Every fernier or "villein"
may use the common and may graze
his quota of 20 sheep on the stubble
of the other fields as soon as they
have been reaped and officially
taking "broken" by the ringing of a bell.
but a In addition, his 30 or 40 acres of land
are divided up into about 16 portions
blacksmith scattered far and wide over the three
open fields.
HER HIPS
HIPS
REDUCED 5 INCHES
Friends Wonder How She Does It
A KR(JSCHEN SECRET
Those friends of Mrs. E. M. D., Ivho
have been wondering how that lady is
reducing her hip measurement, are
now let into the secret. She has been
taking Kruschen. Here is •a letter
from her:—
"I was gaining le flesh and not feel-
ing too well, so I started tb take Krus-
ehen Salts, and an] nowbn my third
bottle. My hips used to be 47 ins.,
end the last three months I have got
them down to 42 ins. So my friends
who used to laugh at me are now won-
dering. I shall have the last laugh,
' tor when I get my hips down to what
I think is right I'll tell them. But I
do know this—I am feeling better
since taking Kruschen, and am really
glade I kept on with it."—(Mrs.). E.
IC D.
Here's the recipe that banishes fat—
take one-balf teaspoon of Kruschen
alts in a glass of hot water before
breakfast, modify your diet, and take
rentle exercise, The stomach, liver,
kidneys and bowels are tuned up, and
lhe pure, fresh blood containing the
Six salts of Kruschen Is carried to,
beery part of the body. Then follows
"that Krus-
chen feel -
leg of ener-
getic health
and activity
that Is re-
flected i n
bright eyee,
clear skin,
cheerful
vivacity and charming figure. Millions
of people all over the world are
already proving this daily. Why
shouldn't you too?
Kruschen Salts is obtaigable at all
Drug Stores at 46c. and 75e, per bottle,
maimmpraww—
RE TOBI
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/If
Pithy Anecdotes
Of the Famous
At a Dublin exhibition of paintings,
reminisces Sir John Ross (in "Pilgrim
Scrip"), an old couple looked at a pic-
ture of the expulsion of Adana, and'
Eve from the Garden of Eden. The
husband asked what it repreeented.
Biddy looked at the wrong nuniber in
the catalogue and said:
"It's Queen Elizabeth receiving the
Spanish ambassador." •
"Well," said the husband, "I always
heard she was a wild, bad woman, but
I never thought she would go to ex-
tremes like that!"
* * *
And that reminds Sir John of an-
ther overheard conversation in an art
gallery. This was between two women
who were looking at a picture, "The.
Dance of Salome."
"Now what's that, Maria?" asked.
one.
Maria (glancing at catalogue):
"Solomon dancing for Herod."
"But he never done it, Maria!"
Maria (tartly): "He musta done, 'Yes,' he replied, 'one
• else he couldn't abeen photographed!" from. northern. Luzon.' "
* * * * *
Where did the corkscrew come The recent tragic death in New
-from? Ask H. 'Warne]: Allen, noted York of Louis Joseph Vance, author
wine connoisseur (in his fascinating of "The Lone Wolf" stories, recalls
and timely book, "The Romance of the fact that when William De Mor -
Wine"). And if anyone should know gan published his first novel, Mr.
it is Mr. Allen. But the best he can Vance wrote to him pointing out that
do is this: the title; "Joseph Vance: An Ill -writ -
"M. Simon has traced the corkscrew ten Autobiography," was not exactly
back to 1732, when an anonymous calculated to assist the reputation of
poeni* of a mock heroic character cele- a writer who was becoming establish-
brated the discovery of
ed. The upshot was a firm friend -
"'The Bottle Scrue whose worth, ship between the two men.
whose use .
Mrs. Anna George De Mille, daugh-
All men confess, that love the
juice.' " ter of Henry George, who made an
*
abridgment of her amous fathee's
"Progress and Poverty," Used to tell a
A good cortscrew is one of the rar-
story about a white -headed old negro
est of human blessings, declares Mr.
Allen. Yet in two centuries this im-
sitting by the roadside with a miser-
plement has made little progress.
ablelooking little dog which was howl -
"One is tempted to ask whether ing with pain.
"What's the metter with your dog?"
there is no manufacturer capable of
making a real corkscrew which will asked a passerby.
extract the corks of wine -bottles neat-
"Oh, there ain't nothing wrong with
ly and cleanly," he adds. "Could not
him, hoes," said the negro. "He's only
wine merchants as a body offer a prize
for the best corkscrew, and gladdet he must be ill or in pain," pro -
the hearts of the wine -drinker and the
manufacturer by supplying it to their yowling like that."
customers?"
"Oh, no, boss," insisted the old man,
An opening—whichever way you
"he ain't sick nor nothin', he's only
look at it. lazy"—and, as the man looked more
Governor Pack, one time provincial
Governor of Luzon, in the Philippines,
and a great teller of tales. It's hero
is Dr. Edgar A. Mearns, of Manila,
who looked after Governor Pack dur-
ing convalescence from an illness at
Luzon years ago:
"That man Mearns,' said the Gov-
ernor, wholly unaware that I knew
him" — Dr. Chapman speaking—
" 'didn't care anything about me. All
he eared about was birds. One day
he came in from hunting and said
that he had made a very remarkable
discovery. He had shot a White
Cockatoo. And this, he said, proved
that the Philippines were at one time
.connected with Australia.
* * *
"'A few days after Mearns had
gone back to Manila,' the Governor
continued, 'a native woman came in,
crying, and said that someone had
killed her pet Cockatoo!'
"Recalling this story on one occa-
sion when I was in the National Mu-
seum at Washington," chuckles Chap-
man, "I asked Dr. C. W. Richmond, in
charge of birds, if Mearns had ever
sent them a White Cockatoo from the
and more puzzled—"he's settin' on a
American Museum of Natural History
On one of his bird -hunting
expeda thistle."
tions in - South America, Frank
Chapman—Curator of Birds in the Winter Sketch
To -day there 15 snow all over the val-
-went collecting one day with the
taxidermist of a local museum, an ley
Italian named Fernando Porta, "one And we ride in a little world bidden
of the keenest -eyed men with whom 1 from the mountains,
have beenin the field," says Dr. Chap- , The hills behind Pojaque that are
man (in "The Autobiography of a usually painted on the sky
Bird Lover"). The aolor of fire against the color of
"By profession Porta was a hunter
of Condors, and he proudly informed
me that he had sent the wings and
tails of 16,000 Condors to milliners in
Paris.
o o
"Ile had seen 800 Condors in a
single roost and shot 114 in a single
day," adds the dean of American orni-
thologists. , "But, as a rule, the birds
were netted over the carcass' of a fat
horse as bait, 64 birds being the larg-
est number captured at one throw of
the net,
"For each set of 80 feathers con-
tained in a tall and a pair of wings,
he had received $20 in gold. Because
of the war the price had now fallen
to $10 per Condor, and, with a fine
show of feeling, Porta exclaimed dra-
matically:
"'1 refuse to take part in the de-
struction of such a noble bird for such
a low price!'"
Such pride4.!
And here is a story of a White
Cockatoos told to Dr Chomean by
mountains
To -night are hyacinth pink on a grey
cloud curtain,
Fading to violet, fading to no color at
all.
And here is a house with a blue door
and -a blue -framed window,
Like a reminder of the sky, and a
lamp lit in it;
And three pigs; and a cow chewing
• her cud in a dooryard;
Finally ,only the noiseless invisible
snow pricking down out of lark -
nese.
—Peggy Pond Church.
No Cold is a Fixture with
Buckley's Mixture.
No, sir. No matter how hard and deep.seated
your cough or cold may he, BOCKLEY'8
MIXTURE will conquer it in next to no time.
The very Arse dose gets down to businets
y014 call fed it doing you good
Its lightning -fast action mores everybody
when they tak• it for the first tune.
if you, or any tuctotict of your family, has
coin+, cold, et branching, try Beckley's
• n.,61.4, srbsiitutes Hoek.
COLDS THAT
HANG ON
Coughs that rack the
whole system —
there's a job for
SCOTT'S
EMULSION OF
COD LIVER OIL
13-33
SCOTT'S
EMULSION
RICH IN VITAMINS
EalinEMONSIIMIESIMMEIRMan
Spring Skirts Are to
Be Ankle—Length
Paris.—Heim says it's a good hunch
to pin your eye on your skirt if you
want to be the first to catch a change
in. the spring mode. And good gra-
cious alive, we haven't saved enough
yet to buy our winter clothes and
Paris starts talking about spring! He
thinks that even by mid -winter there
will be a change. "Little by little,"
he says, "they are getting longer. The
cocktail dress is responsible but even
sports skirts are adding an inch or
so. Our prediction is that by this
time next year all dresses for day and
street wear—with the exception of the
purely sport clothes, will be the same
length, and that this length will be
to the ankle."
Well, what do you think? Or maybe
you'd rather not even think about it
at all. If this is true, you have com-
pany. Personally, it seems hardly
probable—that is, among women who
insist upon a bit of common sense
along with their fashions. Too long
now we have enjoyed the comfort and
practicability of the medium length
skirt, and it is dubious if the modern
woman of fashion will ever again sub-
mit to a clutter of cloth around her
ankles anytime except in the evening
when the fabrics are light and billowy
or, if velvet or brocade, sufficiently
wide to permit freedom of movement.
Some will, of ecruree, but the major-
ity—no.
Australian Business
Conditions Brighter
Adelaide, S. Aust.—After a tour of
the Eastern States, Mr. Oscar Seppelt,
former president of the Associated
Chambers of Manufacturers, said in
an interview that there appeared to
be a general industrial revival every-
where, and maufacturers,eind commer-
cial leaders were speaking in much
More hopeful terms,
Mr. Seppelt said that firms which
hal been losing heavily during the
last few years wore now looking for-
ward to better times, and they h.ad
grounds for their optimism. There
were possibilities for many firms bal-
ancing their ledgers during the cur-
rent year. There was a definite indi-
cation of the revival of the building
trade, and associated industries in
Australia, were showing a distinct
provement in turnover compared with
the previous year.
The government statistician has
just issued figures which showed a
general trade revival. Those referred
to increased motor registrations, new
wireless licenses, a much larger trade
balance, more deposits in the savings
banks, fewer bankruptcies, more
companies registered and a steadily
growing volume of exports. Taking
a general view of the situation in
Australian things are decidedly bet-
ter.
Veer of the eight 'children of Mr.
and Mrs, Charlie Fletcher, of Shale
eigh, Maine, mid erw ent appendiem s
operations at i` • sarne time,
Classified Advertising
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It's LIVER THAI MAKES
YOU FEEL SO WRETCHED
Wake up your Liver Bile
—No Calomel necessary
For you to feel healthy and happy, you
Over mutt pour two pounda of liquid bile into
your bowel, every day. Without that bile,
trouble Marts. Poor digeatIon. Slow elimination.
Poisons in the body. General wretchednese.
How ran you expect to clear up a situation
like this completely with mere bowel -moving
sato, oil, mineral water, laxative candy or
chewing urn, or roughage? They don't wake
UP17:11Urliver.neearter's Little Liver PUls. Porel
Trzetable. Safe. Quick and sure reaults. A
r them by name. Refuse subatiautes. We. at
an druggista
Forbearance
(From The AdelPhi)
There is a forbearance that becomes
a woman,
When she has had men,
When she has had children,
When rsehpeoshase:known excitement
Not to demand more,
To take what comes,
To hold what she has
most of it!
The look on her face, then, is like
moonlight on high waters;
Desires rest in her 'like gulls.
That have had enough of day.
—Marion Canby.
Britain Cuts Infant Mortality
Deaths among infants less than A
year old have fallen by half in Great
Britain since the first ten years of the
century.
and
and make the
SKIN RAS ES
Give Place to Velvet Smooth Skins
In almost countless numbers, skin
sufferers have had cause to be thankful
for D,D.D„ theprescription of a highly
successful physicianaDr, D. D. Dennis:
Thie liquid prescription, now made and
endorsed by Campana's Italian Balm
chemists, allays irritation almost at
once, and quickly clears up such skin
troubles as eczemas hives, acne, ring-
worm, dandruff, pimples and rashes.
Ask your druggist for D.D.D. Prescrip-
tion. Trial size, 35o. Guaranteed to
give instant relief or money reamded.
EYO UNG MEN!
TO SAVE YOUR HAIR
Cutieural
roe
Soap 25c. Ointment 25e. and 50c.
New 551t Size
LYDIA E. PINICHAM'S
TABLETS FOR WOMEN
They relieve and prevent
periodic pain and associated
disorders. No narcotic& Not
just a aim killer but a modern
medicine which acts upon the
CAUSB of your trouble. Per.
sistent use brings permanent
relief. Sold by all druggists;
ISSUE No, 3—'34