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Zurich Herald, 1942-01-01, Page 3WATCH ON WEST COAST Typical of the stout little vessels which have forsaken the fishing trade to serve the Royal Canadian Navy for the duration as patrol boats is the craft shown here, bucking a Pacific gale. Have You Heard? it was the firm's annual dance, The junior bookkeeper had chosen 'a very attractive partner, "By the way," he volunteered as they danced, "I'm glad our mann: ger haft here tonight. He's about the biggest ass of a Tuan one can meet, and not fit for intelligent company." She stopeied dancing and stared hard, "Young man," she snapped ang- rily, "do you know who I am?" "Not the faintest idea," he said, .+easily. "Well, I'm the manager's wife!" she Informed him. "Gee whiz!" he exclaimed "Now; do you know .who I am?" "No," said his partner. "Thank goodness for that!" he replied, as he backed Hurriedly for the exit. The husband, after a very tiring day, was enjoying his pipe and reading the evening paper. The wife who was poring over a crossword, suddenly called out: "Henry, what is a t`emale sheep?" "Ewe," curtly ratified her hubby, and that's how the row started. A Scot boarded a tramcar carry- ing a very bulky parcel. The con- ductor, noting the size, decided it yam above the standard ser free carriage, so lee said: "It'll be a penny for you, and threepence for your parcel." Angus was stricken speechless ' for a moment, and then he stuck his elbow Into the parcel and said: "Come cot o' that wi' ye, Sandy; it's twopence cheaper sitting down than for me td carry ye!" "Eternity Is so vast—who comprehend pt?" said speaker. " Perhaps," said the little man in the back row, "you never bought anything on the... monthly payment plan." A radio actress who had just learned how to drive told Max hlarcin, program driector, that she'd give him a lift home after the broadcast on CBS Sunday night. As they came to an inter- section a cop held up his hand. "Hey," he said, "you can't make • a left turn." "What do you mean, I can't make a left turn?" retorted the indignant actress. "I learned that In my sec- ond lesson!" "My wife used to play the piano a lot, but since the chil- dren came -she simply hasn't time foe -it" "I know. Child- -ren are a comfort, aren't :they'?" There was no doubt about it— the theatrical magnate was angry. "Don't ever mention the name of that low-down, double-crossing twister of a leading lady!" he said. "I had no idea she was that sort," replied his friend. "Why that girl's so mean, she not only pulls the woo] over your eyes, but it's 90 per eta ° r,otton!" "Is Mary your eldest sis- ter?" "Yes." ilAnd who comes "You and two lows." can the MODERN ETIQUETTE BY ROBERTA LEE 1. Of what should :pnewbe ful when planning to take a for an automobile drive? 2..,,Should a widow, upon her second marriage, wear the engage- ment or wedding ring of her first marriage? 3. Is it all right for a mother to allow her children to attend a party at the home of someone she does not know? 4. Should one allow his child to stand up or sit on the arm of his chair in a theatre? 5. Is it permissable to dip celery or radishes into the salt dish if the dish is an individual one? 6. Who compiles the list to whom wedding invitations are to be sent? after her?" other fel- care - guest Answers 1,. See that the car is tidy. Old shoes lying on the floor, packages scattered here and there, soiled rags or newspapers on the seat indicate carelessness and disregard for the guest's comfort. Also, see that the windshield and windows are clean and do not in any way obscure the guest's vision of the scenery. 2. No; they should be put aside: 3. Yes, if the party is given for school friends. 4. No. This is a very selfish act, as it obstructs the view of persons seated behind. 5. No; take a little of the salt iu the saltspoon or with the end of a clean knife and place it on. the side of the dinner plate, or the bread and butter plate. .6 The bride and bridegroom together, consulting the parents of both. HOW CAN, I? BY ANNE ASHLEY Q. -How can I prevent the white, of eggs from falling atter whip - Ping? A. Add a pinch of cream of tar- tar to the whites whiles they a..3 being whipped. Q. How can I clean gold or ail - ver lace?, A, Sew the lace to a stripof clean linen and boil in a solution pful of salt to one gallon Well Trained Mine Sinks Supply Ship The Germans would prefer to have the people of Norway think that the British are "doing noth- ing." Therefore all news of the sinking of German supply ships by the British along the Nor- wegian coast is carefully with- held, At the official investiga- tion into the sinking of one such ship the Norwegian captain ex- plained that a submarine had ris- en to the surface, halted the ship, given the crew ten minutes to get into lifeboats and had then sunk the ship. A German officer interrupted: "That is nonsense!" he shouted. "There are no British submarines along the Norwegian coast., You must have struck a mine!" The captain repeated it was at submarine, but the German in- sisted he was wrong. "Very well, then," said the cap- tain. He then revised his account for the records: "A mine came to the surface on,starboard side. It halted us, gave 'us ten minute's to get into lifeboats, then ran smack into our; ship, sinking it." Nearly one-third the Seed now consumed in Germany consists of potatoes. EX FISHERMAN SERVES IN R.C.N.° of one cu of water. Dry without removing from the linen, and then sponge with a piece of white velvet dip- ped in alcohol. Q. ITow can I mend holes in enameled ware? A. Use equal parts of soft putty, table salt and sifted coal ashen. Cover the holes well and heat on the stove until the cement is hard. Q. How can I skim grease from the top of soup? A. Take square sheets of clean white tissue paper, lay one sheet at a time on the surface of the soup, and all the grease will adhere to the paper. ' Q. How can I remove soot from wallpaper? A. Use cornmeal for removing soot from walipapea. First, bruah off as much of the soot as possible; then rub on the cornmeal until it becomes soiled; brush oft. A fishing boat captain, offering the services of himself, ll,,>. - ve=s('1 and his crew, is given a navigational test by two offit'cis a) the R. C.hi. Brave Patient Amazes Doctor Treaty Protects Migratory Birds Signed Twenty -Five Years, Ago by Great Britain and the United Staten. Vie , Migratory Bird Treaty be - tweets the United States and Great Britain had its twenty-fifth "birth- day" on Dec. 8, signed by the two nations to protect migratory water- fowl and other foams of wildfire goitlg , back and forth between Canada and the United States, the treaty was proclaimed, by Presi- dent Wilson on Dec. 80131916. "It is no exaggeration to call this treaty the most significant advance in the history of wildlife conservation 1n,,,,North America," Secretary Ickes of tate Interior De- partment said of the anniversary. "In 1937, a similar treaty' between Mexico and the United States was consumated to protect migratory birds and game mammals going back and forth between these two countries." "Discharging our federal obliga- tions under these international agreements has made possible one of the most sucessful wildlife con- servation programs in history," Secretary Ickes added. "Not only does the Department of the Inter- ter'carefully regulate the hunting of the• species affected, but it also maintains a nation-wide system of refuges to protect and encourage the migratory birds. The resulting increase in birds is today the best possibe evidence of the import- ance of this international co-oper- ation." Don't Englishwomen ever cry?" unmixed with astonishment, not unmixed with irritation, a German surgeon who dressed the wounds of a stewardess aboard a raider, in the South Pacific which hod' picked up survivors from the liner Rangitane it had sunk. Ile had discovered that tea pa- tient, ales. Eliaseestb. Plumb, of London, had been suffering for nearly nine hours, from serious wound$ received when a shell burst in front o3 her as she was leaving her cabin. She had then staggered up on deck, guided pass- engers to boat stations and when all had been taken aboard by ;the raider refused medical aid until everybody else had been attended to. To add to her suffering, when the captives had been landed on the island of Emiru by the Nazis, anxious to be rid of them, she con- tracted tropical ulcers. The story of her heroism was pieced together by a son, a muni- tions worker, in London, from frag- mentary letters from the mother, messages fom the steamship com- pany, and finally by a citation from Buckingham Palace announc- ing that the British Empire Med- al had been conferred on her. , Mrs. Plumb is in Auckland, New Zealand, , with one of her sons, who is in the Army. A third son is an air gunner in Iraq. A fourth, an air pilot, was killed last year. What Science Is Doing SOAP To make a batch ot soap re- quires from three to seven days. Joseph J. Jacobs of Brooklyn Poly- technic Institute cuts this down to fifteen minutes. Soap is usually made ,by treating fats or tallow with a weak solution ot lye in wa- ter', just as the ancient Egyptians did. Mr. Jacobs uses no water. Fat is dissolved in kerosene and solid lye added. The mixture is then heated to a temperature higher than is now possible. The lye reacts with the fat In less than fifteen minutes to snake soap. This hot mass of soap and kerosene IS. then sprayed into -a vacuum chamber. .dere the kerosene and soap, vaporize off, leaving a dry, granular, porous, quick -dissolving soap behind. The kerosene an$ glycerine are condensed and sep- arated. The kerosene can then be reused for a new batch. The heat costs are about oue•twentietdt those of present methods, indus- trial snail lend high-grade toilet soaps can be mode. Read The War News Carefully Some Very Sound Offered By The Journal A ;British M. P. complains that statements of. British "official spokesmen" prior and during the Libya attack were "too optimistic" and wants an explanation. At the same time Mr. L. 8. B. Shapiro writes -from Washington: "There le much comment iii the capital and not a little criticism, of London's handling of the story of the fighting in LibYa .. . Moat of the argument resolves about Mr. Ohturohili's original anuouucement. It is claimed that the Prime Minister's assessment of the situ- ation after the first day at the battle was much too optimistic end that it promised over quickand smasuing victory al nme1's forces." • Tilts is what comes of people re- fusing to read war newel caretnily; and refusing above all to study the text of official statements. Actu- ally, Mr. Churchill made no predic- tione about Libya, held out no hopes, wks neither optimistic nor pessimistic. What he did, and all that -1:s did, was to explain the pre- parat%ns for the battle, tell ot the advance of the first days, compare the conflict to Blenheim, and say that its consequences would be im- portant. He certainly promised no victory. Read The Texts Further: Going back over Cairo's daily official statements since the beginning of the Libyan battle, one finds theta extremely conserv- ative; completely objective. In no single case did they promise a vic- tory, or make extravagant claims. What one wonders is: Did the average reader read these reports? Or (lid he prefer the highly imag- inative stories of special correspon- dents, most of whom could not pos- sibly see more than isolated fra,g- meats of the battle or grasp its tactical significance? The Journal has all along advis- ed people to read the war news more carerully, and above all to read the texts of official reports, and the texts of Mr, Chilchill, It is only by such reading, with the aid of maps, that one can follow this war. Never mind the "experts" and never mind, most of all, the Advice Ottawa cooln44 .t#0 Peoplfi W O M4 1► 1'nally winuio' the war by 4U►re eiiliai;:M • .4114, .este i' 1e rlwft or samething, ""seseteessd The battle in Libya la not yet over; mai yet result in a arital eietpry. In the meantime, while ets result is being determined let us. not blame Mr, Ohurchiil'4 Nl>fttach for making us too optimistic. The fault wasnot with Mr. Churchill; it was in the slipshod way in which too many people read Mr. Chur- ohilL *WAR Three "R's" Defy ,,. Blitz In Engla.nd. 'Ilia idea that education would be the first casualty of the war in Britain, and that children would not, be able to carry -on their studies, has been dissipated by the President of the Board of Education. In an interview that was broadcast from London he said that education was being carried on not .only to provide for the future and bu ',1,d up the minds and characters OI the boys and girls to lead the Empire, but also because it is one ot he im- portant sources of supply to the ministry of manhood production. "Today more than 99 per cent of Britain's children are getting full-time education," it was stat- ed. "School buildings have suf- fered damage, and in one city 50, per cent of them were bombed out in a single night, but all the children were he school within 4 week. We have a large measure of humanity ite the life of the children which has been invalu- able in the upkeep of morale. Health of the children has also been looked after and there is no reason why it should not improve during this year. From 60 to 90 per cent of the children receive milk," said the speaker. How Mr. Churchill Won His Captaincy Mr. Churchill has been ap- pointed colonel of the 4th Queen's Own Hussars, the regiment which he joined as s subaltern in 1895 when it was under orders for India. The Commanding Officer, then Col. Brabazon, was an old friend of Lord Randolph's; he told young Winston that he was a clever young man but could do with discipline and that a good cavalry regiment was the place for him to get 'it, Would he, thereforei promise not to leave the regiment till after he got his troop—that is, his captaincy. Winston said that he would not commit himself to that, but he would promise not to leave the regiment until it had won the Indian International Polo Cup. Colonel Brabazon, knowing that no regiment had ever won the cup before it had been three years in India, said that that was good enough for him. But the 4th Hus- sars team, of which Winston Churchill was a member, won the cup in its second season, and the war correspondent and Prime Min- ister -to -be was free of his prom- ise. Bundle For Britain A brunette, twenty, rather streamlined and a Chilean, with 300 hours solo flying and 300 English words to her credit, Mar got Duhalde, joined the W.A.A.F. in London last September and is now engaged . . . ferrying Spit- fires from factory to airdrome. Some bundle for Britain! QUICKLY Place Australia On War Footing Prime Minister John Curtin an- nounced sweeping emergency mea- sures to draft all available mitise power into the armed forces and place the entire nation on a war footing. Single men from 18 to 45 and married men from 18 to 35 will be required to register under the new draft laws. Veterans of the last war were being mobilized for guard and coast defence duties. The cabinet laid plans for drastic gasoline rationing and checked fuel, coal and clothing stocks and air raid precautions. Women rushed to answer a call, for volunteers for the auxiliary 8erv1C0B. Army Minister Francis Michael Porde announced all militia men had been called up for full iinitr. training. Factory Cooking Leonard Toddings, a Bermuda editor -proprietor, was much im- pressed by an English tank false tory he visited ° He talked to a furnace hand during the dinner break. But was It a break? With a piece of red-hot stool as a hotplate and another piece of armour plating as a grillpan he made a perfect welsh rarebit from his daily cheese ration, lift• ing it off with his tongs as slickly nit a chef. In the intervals he pro. ceeded with his contribution to the next tank, R — tithes u y tt+ gnitktailaitaeaNcklnialetteroe, nC1et pnsettklglro ►tit of►er exttraatiy 3!s Ran., at druaglsls proves 11 dr manly back Press Censorship English newspapers are attain,* ing to operate with press censor- ship such as described in thus story from Newspaper World, London: "Once upon a time there was a ministry of information carrier pigeon. And as it was flying leisurely to its destination it was jostled by a second pigeon which bawled: Get a move on. I've got the denial!" One Way To Win "There is only one way in which we can win—mobilize the conscience of the world,' fortify our own spirits, meet' blood and iron with blood and iron; carry the weight of material, to. help the best men in the'world; gather our power in all its strength and'. strike." — Leonard W. Brocking- ton. Aggravating aas. When stomach gee teems to smother you, and yoa.cen hardly tike a deep breath, try AMERIKA. FIVE carminatives to warm and soothe the atomath and expel gas. and THREE laxatives far gentle, enfek bowel action. At your Drug Store. A D L E R 1$ AY`. .Ct.ASSIFIED ATVE RTISE1 EN.T ��- � It AttltiTS unser CUICi S IF YOU LAY YOUR POULTRY plans wisely for this season h egg tmin arkets at home abroad demanding Canada's limit, Order from the d3raY prlcelist if you liUiof 4 s iy.We'vepullett. Bray Hat- chery, 130 John Ni, Hamilton, Ont. CARS 178101) AND NEW MOUNT PLEASANT MOTORS Ltd., Toronto's oldest Chrysler, Plym- outh dealers' three locations, 632 $n Pleasant St. d 0 DaorhAenu. Our Used Cars make us many friends. Write for our Free Book- let on pedigreed renewed and an- alyzed used cars. FIRST MORTGAGE MONEY WANTED EXCEPTIONAL OPPORTUNITY AT this' time, investigate now. Boit 40, 7$ Adelaide W, Toronto. In inti. at TR,iPPING HNARING, TRAPPIN0 AND FUR arketing tips, particulars on laden, Secret trapping ipiurnctlee !snares. Dgrac assured. 33111 Hoffman, Russell, Man. LEGAL J. N. 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Lightfoot, St. Lawrence Market, Toronto. WOMEN WANTED WANTED; WOMEN owg. Bstpay Postage paid on all work. Sent anywhere, Bontex Specialty Co., tiox 27, Chase, B.C. FOR QUALITY SERVICE Ari) SATISFACTION 'I ii1' IMPERIAL RIAL 0 intnrlrslo26e and printed, ofilms, Both with free enlargement. IMPERI A 1'ii0't'O ShillICili Statim 3, :i"oronto, Just Too Much Said a wife in Tottenham police court: "My husband wits a home bird, but when my daughter brought home her sergeant-tnajot r in sweetheart, he walked out, saying it was too much for him after hies experiences in the last war."