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Zurich Herald, 1932-01-07, Page 7sesecimessieWeeeseleMISIMISKIIIIMINIMMEiris Rory toplay Sage AUCTION and CONTRACT 4' Wynne Ferguson Author of 'PRACTICAL AUCTION BRIDGE* Stories -Ancient and Modern By TANTALUS in "John O'London" I make no apology for including a "rather tricky bunker," they came amongst this selection 'a few at last to Loch Lomond. "Now," stories that rimy not have the lines said Jonathan, "that really is some- of a 1931 model. For some old thing I must admire, and I gueas It Stories have the bouquet of a good it were possible, Fd take that •name old wine, and age cannot wither sheet of water right over to Schenee- them nor custom stale. Besides, Lady" "That's aisily dans," said there is always the chance that Mac, "Jist trail a bit pipie acmes ARTICLE No. 3 someone, somewhere, may not -have the pond wi' ye, an' if ye can eeok as weees ye can blew, yell has it In what way does this expert differ as in diamonds. There would be noth- heard them all! , from any .other auction player? Has ing to gain by such tactics so Y must Perhaps a funny story should there in nae time." he more imagination, more courage, be prepared for a heart or spade bid. never be written down at all, for A. Jovial customer in a cafe gave more resourcefulness, more original- Z, therefore, hid two spades. A passed how uninspiring even our most ,sue- his order to a somewhat hour -look- ity? What particular quality makes and Y bid three diamonds. B passed ' cessful piece of drofleTY appears in ing waitress. "A couple of boiled his stand out among his fellows? If and Z was now certain that X wascold print! Yet, given the tune and eggs and a kind word, please." The there is anything that we don't under- hoping for a . heart bid so bid three the place, maybe that even the most eggs were brought. "Now for the stand, we usually subject it to a close hearts with the greatest assurance in unpromising of these that follow kind word, miss." The girl leaned examination and analysis, so let's do the world. All passed, Y's hand was will set the table in a roar. May forward to whisper in. his ear: the sane) with the expert. Let us place as follows: it be so'. There is, at least, varietY ';Don't eat those eggs." him under the microscope and let its Hearts -K, 8, 6, 4 hero something for everybody, tor; The skipper of the Annie Laurie lens magnify his tactics. Let us ob- Clubs -J, 7 ' i I th last moment before nerve and analyze bis bidding and Diamonds -Q, J, 9, 7, 2 play. Spades -6, 4 The following hand is illustrative of At hearts Z made four odd, losing the writer's contention that, in the only one heart, one club and one spade language of sport, the expert "has trick. At diamonds, the result' would everything." have been , Y : A B : Z the same so the expert's imagination and clear analysis of his partner's bidding gave him a game not otherwise possible. How many play- ers would have bid this hand like theHeart. expert? Clubs Q 10, 9, 7 At Contract, the bidding would have Diamonds -Q been the same up to Z's three -heart Diamonds A, Ii, 10, 5 bid. His partner, Y, would then have Spades -K, g8, 7 bid four hearts. No score, rubber game. The expert, Z, dealt and bid one diamond, a perfect The foregoing hand was not selected example of the four -card suit bid in as unusual but only as representative preference to the no trump. The of the margin of superiority that the singleton club is a danger spot .in no expert has over ,the average player. To trump because a good player with a excel' at Auction and Contract, as in net -up club suit and the lead would any other game, the expert must "have hand,pass the no A hadtrump. In a six -card this particular suit and the everything." ight i thing atmust be the right timele odo and his partner the ace of spades, so that it is this quality that is most strongly a no trump bid by Z would"have failed evident in the hand given. It may to make the contract by one trick. Z, seem easy and the expert's play and however, possessed the first requisite bidding the natural thing to do, but of the expert: good judgment; so he how many players could honestly say bid one diamond. A passed and Y bid that in actual play they would have two diamonds to give his partner an- done the same? If they can, they are other chance to bid. B passed and Z in the class of the expert. If not, they now had to do a little thinking, Y's still have something to which to look bid of two diamonds indicated a will- forward. We cannot all be experts, but ingnesa on his part to have Z bid an we can all improve our game by ana- other suit. This suit could be either lyzing the expert's methods and profit- ' clubs, hearts or spades. ing thereby. Put the expert "Under The expert figured that his partner the Lens" at every opportunity' and would not bid two diamonds merely to you canot help but benefit. Another obtain a club bid from him because it example will be given in a later ar- ts just as difficult to go gamer at clubs title. Solution to Last Week's Problem Hearts- -K, 8, 7, 3, 2 Clubs -none Diamonds -none Spades -A, 10 Hearts -Q, 6 Clubs -K, 10, 4, 2 Diamonds -none Spades -Q A Z B Hearts -none Clubs -A, Q, 5 Diamonds -none Spades -9, 5, 4, 2 There are no trumps and Z is in the lead. How can YI Z win five of the seven tricks against any defense? Solution. -Z should lead the deuce of spades. A must play the queen and Y should play the ten, thus allow- ing .A. to win the trick. B should dis- card the seven of clubs. A now has the choice of two leads: (a) He may Lead a heart or (b) a club. (a) Suppose A decides to lead a heart. It he leads the six of hearts, Y should play the king and lead back tht deuce of hearts, which A must win. On these tricks . Z should discard the five of clubs and the four of spades. A is thus obliged to lead a club up to the ace queen in Z's hand. On the first lead of clubs, Y should discard tiie ace of spades and thus all of Z's cards are good. If at trick No. 2,. A leads the queen of hearts, Y should let it hold the trick. If A then leads an - Hearts -9, 5 Clubs -8, 7 Diamonds -l0, 4, 3 Spades --none 350, T tee min If our arithmetic is correct, that one man's joke s notanother's.engagedate have known quite a lot of people-' sailing from Aberdeen two deok- Scotsmen mainly -who refuse to hands, Mackenzie and McCraig. Mac - laugh at this. "Question. -How can Kenzie had a good character, a you make a Scotsman happy in his which the. ''Ofd 11Ian' was always old age? Answer. -Tell him a Joke rubbing "ia to McCraig, who hadn't. when he is young," „i "Aye, aye,' was invariably the lat- The Wrong Hat ., ter s dour comment. Soon the smack encountered very And talking of Scotsmen; how dirty weather and Mackenzie, com- could one begin better than with this ing up to swab the deck, was swept, one?- bucket in hand, into the mountain - ed to become an elder. Mistrusting A worthy Scot had been persued- ous sea, ?McCraig, having witness- ed this catastrophe, sought the skip - his power to produce the extempore per. prayer sometimes called for, he past- "Ye ken yon mon Mackenzie -him ed a prayer in his tall hat so that wi' the guid character?" he queried. he should never be caught unpre• 4 "Wee!?" pared. Very soon after this, the; "7/eel; he's awe' wi' your bucket." a Owl Laffs 400 Chances to Make Good In 19321 here are 365 days in 1932, with six - n waking hours in each and sixty HIP US YOUR POULTRY ,,D utes in each of these hours. eggs. Absolutely highest market Prices paid, Cheques remitted immedi- ately. Crates loaned. Write for quota- tions and give us a trial, ROSENFELD POULTRY AND EGG COMPANY LIM- ITED, MONTREAL. FE72ALE SELF WANTED Classified Advertising N OFFER TO EVERY INVENTOR. 411 List of wanted inventions and full uitorcnatlon sent free. The Ramsay Coni• paany, Ottawad PatentCnAttorneys. 273 sank gives each of us 350,400 waking mo- ments in 1932, in any one of which we may stir our ambition, may hear the call to higher ideals, to self improve- ment or in any of which our machin- ery of thought may evolve a splendid idea -may set us on the road to the heights of success. Each of these moments, tiny seg- ments of eternity, is a portion of our life, each a potential crisis for better or worse in our life -they seem many in their total of a lifetime -yet how swiftly we pass through them -we pass, note, the moments do not. Wouldn't it be well to make 1932 count more in the use of these preci- ous fragments of our lives than we've minister was late in arriving at An explorer tray ening in melee, ever done before? came upon an elephant which was No matter how bad you aim, when in acute pain. Regardless of dan- ger, and with considerable difficulty, you throwthe bouquets spot. ata man they al- ba extracted a thorn from the ani- ways hit right mal's foot. Years afterwards he Men were digging a ditch in a wet, visited a circus where the chief at sticky soil that was in danger of flood - traction was the performance of g. some trained elephants. One of inYoung Foreman shouting) - "All these, in the act of performing his trick, stopped, trumpeted shrilly, out!" and charged towards the auditorium. funeral, and the elder was called upon. He hurried into the hall for his hat, and bowed reverently over it. And then to the astonishment of the mourners, he cried out in agitation, "Gutdness, this is no' my hat." A party of clergymen, having lost their train, remained overnight at the local inn. Expecting no other visitors, the landlord put them in the Commercial room because it was the only room with a fire. After a meal they were chatting merrily round the hearth when a traveller { ed him in the five -and -nines. popped his head in, and on seeing True! the unaccustomed assembly was about to withdraw hastily. The The excuse for including the fol - situation was explained, and beforelowing is that it is guaranteed Foreman (shouting) -"All in!" long the late comer had joined in ' authentic!- And they disappeared once again in the talk. The conversation turned! Some years ago in a north coun- the ditch, grumbling a little. to dreams,' and one of the parsons try seaside town, there was display- After half -a -dozen repetitions. of this related how he had dreamt he was ed a phrenologist's card with this in- business the workmen became angry in heaven and how lovely it was. scription, "Heads examined 1s. each." and asked the foreman what he mean Then the traveller said, "I had a, Two yokels read it, and one was by it similar kind of dream, but unfortun- ; overheard to say to the other. elf in the other "Heids examined for is. each! Why, other heart, all of Y's cards are good. IL he then leads a club, all of Z's cards are good, Y discarding the ace of spades as before. (b)Suppose A leads a low club at trick No. 2. Y should discard the ace of spades and thus all of Z's cards be- come good except the five of clubs at the end. In all cases,- there" ^e, Y Z must win five of the seve.i tricks against any defense. False Solution: Suppose Y wins the first spade trick. He must then lead hearts. If he leads a lo,, heart, B will win the trick with the nine and make his diamonds. If Y leads the king of hearts, A should play the queen and thus enable B to win the second heart trick. Played in' this way, Y Z can only win three tricks, This is a good example of not allow- ing an opponent to force the lead in one's hand when - by so doing one or more tricks will be lost. Soviet Government Turns to Arctic for Chemicals Russia in its quest for chemicals has invaded the Arctic. .An apatite plant, scheduled to Pro- duce this year more than a million tons of concentrates, used chiefly for fertilizer, was recently opened in the Khibiny Mountains, according to Ba- sile W. Delgass, former vice-president of the Amtorg Trading Company. He says in reporting Soviet scientific ex- plorations for Industrial and Engineer- ing Chemistry, journal of the Ameri- can Chemical Society, that the fac- tory Is beyond the Arctic Circle, eighty miles north of the White Sea, and ap- proximately 100 miles inland from the Arctic Ocean. He goes on: of their chemical factories were re- vealed in the recent trial of several engineers in that country, Mr. Delgass observes. "Of course no trials can help," he adds, "when there is a lack of knowledge, and where untrained men are appointed as managers of chemical plants." "Huge stones, remnants of the gla- cial periods, block the entrances to the valleys. The peaks are covered by perpetual snows, and dreary tundra Res for hundreds of miles around.' 'The cost of the plant is 5,000,000 gold rubles (about $2,600,000) and it has a scheduled production of 1,100,000 tone in 1931, 2,000,000 tons in 1932, and 3,000,000 tons in 1933. Part of the apatite produced is exported to Eur- ope, and it is rumored that negotia- tions are being conducted with a view to exporting apatite concentrates to the United States. • "An appropriation of 60,000,000 gold rubles has been recently voted by the Council of Peoples' Commissars to in- crease the existing plant and to con- struct other plants in this region." Russian engineers designed the new project, but American specialists were also consulted. The problem of production of super - phosphates in Russia is far from being. solved, we are told. In spite of 211 the technical help received by the Rus - slants from Germany and extensive study of the process in the United Ststee, superphosphate plants in Rus- sia do not work satisfactorily, Iiimoulties which the"Russians are eneountering in the operation of onie The men were out of the ditch like Pandemonium d ensued, but the tree- a flash. The men tumbled back into the ditch, thinking taht the call had been a false alarm. Foreman (shouting) -"Ail out!" Out tumbled the men. tore calmly lifted the explores from Foreman shouting) -"All in'." his one-and-tenpenny seat, and plac- ADIES WANTED TO DO LIGHT sewing at home, good pay. Wort sent, charges paid. Stamp for particu- lars, National Manufacturing Co., Mon- treal. HIDES - FURS HIGHEST PRICES PAID TRY US William Stone Sons Limited Ingersoll, Ont. Canada Silk Industry , For five years in succession the silk industry of Canada has shown in- creases in the value of production. Even in 1930, a year of slackened lindustry trade generally, the output of the s rose by over 20 per cent. Silk manufacturing is one of the newer in- dustries of the Dominion and the rapidity of its growth has been re- markable. Records are available since 1917, and in the intervening period the value of production has risen by over 650 per cent. The growth of the industry has been well sustained throughout the 13 years, although there have been some fluctua- tions. In 1917 the value of production was $2,372,000. By 1920, when prices were at their height, it had risen to $5,376,751. In the next five years there were fluctuations, and in 1925 the value of the output was $5,483,363. t From that year on, however, the bald ance was unbroken. In 1923 the value One Workman very demanding)- ; reached $10,397,273. In 1929 it wag "What's the game? There's no water $14,476,080, and in 1930 it rose to $17,' coming and there's no sign of a cave- ;reached ave 808 593. In the five years between in." ; 1925 and 1930, it will be observed, the Foreman (smiling) -"I know there value of the product was more than isn't, but T find that you fellows take trebled out more dirt on your boots than you The Canadian silk do on your sho ately 1 rounu mys place." "Oh," said one, archly, ! the fella's a tent, when ye can buy "what was it like there?" "Well," a tuppenny comb and see for yersel. replied the traveller, "something 1 A. clergyman was much surprised like this: I couldn't get near the fire one day at receiving a basket of for parsons." 1 potatoes from an old woman of his Parsons ; parish, with a message saying that, as he had remarked during his ser - Here is another with time same mon of the previous Sunday that protagonists:--, "common taters" (commentators) A parson invariably carried pi his did not agree with him, she had sent pocket a bottle of an Indian pickle him some real good ones. but golf seems to take all the joy ou of his own make, for which he had 1 Two revellers, who had lined too of life for most men. a passion. Staying at a small hotel well, got into their sports two-seater where the only other guest was a late one night, and zig-zagged down commercial traveller, the parson pro - Piccadilly. The passenger, vague duced the inevitable pickle at lunch, ly alarmed at the erratic course they and pressed the traveller to pasta] is were taking, murmured sleepily ,"I He did so, and when he regained his say, Algy, old boy, Y think you breath, he began, "You are a par- ought to drive a bit more carefully." son, I believe?" "Yes." "Now, tell "Goo' lot'," said Algy, "goo' lore I me, do you ever preach about damna- t ought you were driving." tion and hell -fire?" "Oh, yes." "I1 The report of the death of a city thought so, and you are the only merchant was, like Mark Twain's, parson I ever knew who carried "grossly exaggerated•" Thinking to samples." reassure one of his friends he rang Still another about a parson:-kdhim up, and said, "Did you see the A clergyman who had sacked his report in this -morning's paper that cook received an inquiry from her I was dead?" "Good gracious, no," prospective employer with regard to replied his friend; "where' are you his use of the term "Biblical cook" !telephoning from?" i his reference. He replied "Dear industry is di- You'd (vided into two distinct branches, real silk and artificial silk. However, ow - You'd think a man who was rich ` ing to the fact that there are only two enough to quit work at 8 o'clock and plants in the latter section, the par - play golf all afternoon would be happy,'ticulars for the artificial silk iudustry are not available separately. In 1930, in the two branches of the inclustry together, there were 25 plants in operation, all of them in the Provinces of Quebec and Ontario. The plants in Quebec numbered 16, with only one plant producing artificial yarns, the larger part of which was used by the same firm for weaving artificial silk fabrics. In Ontario there were 10 plants, one of which manufactured only artificial silk yarns, which' were sold to hosiery and knit goods mills, and to producers of silk fabrics. Growing Populations The N. Y. Times. -Among the many things, in the present world which the pre-war imagination would have found it hard to believe is population in France growing at least as fast as in Germany. The recent French census with a population of 41,83.5,000 showed a gain of 2,625,000 over the year 1921. The rate of annual increase is seven - tenths of one per cent. For Germany in the years 1927-29 the indicated an- nual increase was six -tenths of one per cent. The change has been brought about by an acceleration in French increase and a more than cor- responding decline in Germany. In the last five years, for instance, France gained 1,100,000 inhabitants, whereas the five-year increment before the war averaged 325,000. In Ger- many, on the other hand, the annual rate of increase is less than half of what it was before the war. Lawyer for the defense -"Your :1ouor, my client wishes a little t Judge Knox -"All right -ii4 SIX yearn." n s re eren , •;• -- Madam, -The term clearly expresses I "A pantomime Is like a cigar," re my meaning. Everything my late marked the theatre manager on the 1 burnt offering' cook did was either a t n o I first night of the new show. "How's or a bloody sacrifice." that?" asked his friend. "Well," Puffing and Blowing was the explanation, "if it's good McCulloch had been showing off everybody wants a box, and i1 it's the beauties of his native land to an bad no amount of puffing will make and bo more concerned with MINE. American visitor, who kept up "Old it draw." belittliMike (scowling as he reads groce ion of ng "1 Will" -A New Year Resolve I will start afresh this new year with a higher, fairer creed; I will cease to stand complaining of my ruthless neighbor's greed; I will cease to sit repining while my duty's call is clear; I will waste no moment whining, and my heart shall know no fear; I will look sometimes about me for the things that merit praise; - I will search for hidden beauties that elude the grumbler's gaze; I will try to find contentment in the paths that I may tread; I will cease to have resentment when another gets ahead; I will not be swayed by envy when my rival's strength is shown; I will not deny his merit, but will try to prove my own; • I will try to see the beauty spread before me, rain or shine; I will cease to preach YOUR duty Glory's" reputat everything he saw. After likening ` At the basis of all morality, all the Forth Bridge to a "pretty piece knowledh ge, lefty nsdeavor, lior eels the of child's fretwork,"the noble Tay Gree - to a "Brooklet," and Schiehallion to ley. bill) -"What's this? What's this?" December 1st, cabbage, 25 cents. December 3rd, ' peck potatoes. December 5th, ditto. December 10th, ditto. Cecember 16th, ditto. Mrs. Mike (indignantly) -"It's a lie. There ain't been a ditto in the house!" Some time when you are talking about yourself, stop for awhile and see if anyone present will remind you to start again. We are all strong for the other guy to take his medicine and be a sport. Right now this country needs more interviews like this: "I have nothing to say." You can judge a girl's ' modernism by discovering { whether she regards her husband as la blessing -a necessity -a luxury -an affliction, or a joke. A man who is clever enough to be boss at home is also wise enough not to brag about it, Business First A Jewish boy was caught by the dangling ropes of a balloon at the country fair. When he was being carried aloft, and the crowd wags standing aghast as he hung head downwards, liis father cried:-- "Ikey, Ikey, throw out some of our bithnith cards!" ry Memphis, Tenn., zoo officials would like to congratulate Venus Flowers and Adonis as the parents of a son and heir or a bouncing baby Ile who does not love flowers has daughter, but they jealouslY .guard their '75 -pound offspring and tbh to call fear and Iave of God. -Ludwig officials are still guessing. In Father's Footsteps The vicar called at the home of one of his parishioners, and for a while was left in the room with the pride of the family. Ho patted the little fellow's head affectionately, and said by way of making conversation: "You look a good little boy. I suppose you al- ways do what your mother tells you?" The boy stopped tinkering with the family wireless -set, and said:, "Yes, vicar, and so does daddy." SUSPICION Suspicion is the companion of mean souls, and the bane of all good society. In Britain divorces are becoming much more common. In 1871 there were 166 cases in England, Scotland and Wales; in 1929 there were 3,396. The Dr. Papillaud Pill for Constipation imported direct from France. This pill dissolves and acts only to the bowelsvinced.. A trial and you will be con - LARGE SIZE 700, EANDl1 Siz)E 850 Send 250 for a handy size package or order from your Druggist. DS, FAFIL]GAt7D LAE. LTD., so Front Street West - Toronto Try Lydia E, Plnkham's Vegetable Compound Had to break the Date Again ., , those monthly pains! Lydia. E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound re- lieves those headaches and awful cramps. Tryi.k :before you break another date. ISSUE No. 1-'32