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Zurich Herald, 1931-04-30, Page 7Owl Las The man who is content with, what he is isn't much. Johnny—Say, Dad, remember the irtory you told ene about the time you were expelled front school? Dade—Yes. J'o'hnny—Well, isn't It funny how' history repeats iteelf? A wife is somebody who remodels Nanny story as you go along. Old Boy—I have had my life insur- ed In your name for $10,000, Now, eau I do anything, better than that to show my devotion? Young Wife—No, dear; not as long es you. live. Fable: Once there was a rich young k every feminine csmile helor w anbo deffort his to hook him. What has become of the old-fashion- ed girl who • used to bang her head out of the window to dry her hair after she had washed it? Girls who are handy with men, can either twist them around their finger or keep them under their thumb. Teacher (questioning class) -- What do you call a man who keeps on talking and talking when people ; ''4.. Y?@ no longer interested? -" _ a Boy Pupil—Please, sir, a teacher. Jack Clark had s,ctlrecl temporary work with the Wain - Mrs. Perkinson — Hello, Bobble. wriglit Construction Company. It meant leaving home, but both Mother and son realized how difficult it was to get a job, and `What are you looking- for, huh? Bobble Looking for elephants. when the chance carne, Jack took it. You got any elephants or giraffes "Don't forget to call me on the telephone often, Jack," said or lions with you? his Mother. "You know how anxious I will be." Mrs. Parkinson—No, not one. I "You need not worry, Mother. I went over to the Bell see that you like animals. Telephone office when I got word about the job and they told me Bobbie—Yeah. Got any ponies or I could call you from the telephone in the Construction Camp and anteaters or muffin' with you? have the charges made on our own telephone bill each month." Mrs. Parkinson — No. Bobbie, of =you think of everything, Jack," exclaimed his Mother. too• ucae not.u Why such you menagerie me "Far from it, Mother, but you know how Dad insisted that carry around such a menagerie I always keep you and him posted by telephone if I could not be with me? Bobbie --well, you did the other home just at the time promised. Well, I have what they: call day. the Telephone Habit."_ _ _ _ ------ Mrs. Perkinson—What day? What • John began, uncer- on earth do you mean? on the street and you 'coked like a I came his turn, Bobbie — Well, anyhow, mamma circus. tarn as te how he was going to come told papa at dinner that she seen you Don't Forget to Canadian Industry Best in World France Naw Feeling Depres.- 1 sion Which Holds Europe and East Toronto, --"There is no place in the world better off than Canada," de- elered L. Babuyan of Toronto, who has east .conn Wed a twelve -week tour of tl.Jtient and Europe. He further o nnmented: 1 "]n Europe every country has been Isuffering from depression, France, one o' the most favored nations in Europe, les now begun ' feel the pangs of de - ion that has c ''^•1 so much dis- tress in places like Italy and in Ger- many. Factories are closing in France as the" are in Italy, and business is good." "I came into persotfal contact with a number of Soviet Russian agents," said Mr, Babayan. "They are all agreed on one thing—that is, to flood every country they can with their goodse They have a particular desire to swamp England first. Englishmen will wake up to the real condition that confronts them, just as Canada has. Chocolates are being brought into Lon- don, England, at 8 cents a pound and sold retail for 16 cents a pound against the home product selling at about one dollar a pound. That condition can- not last with any benefit to the British people.. "'I had the pleasure of a personal in vitation to attend the reception and ball given by Hon. G. Howard Fergu- son to the new Governor-General prior to his leaving England. Mr. Ferguson Las the right idea, and as a result of his efforts there has been a substantial movement of Canadian wheat," said Mr. Babayan. „Ark A.s1A64w,%:), GAN. %A.,9,04k, 'az, 247 ,,,Cts` `L °°°a ue,Veleze Song of the Unafraid Classified Advertising There may be mists and fog about, 'easel There may be sudden turns--- and doubt— There may be ghosts wbo stand at bay Where shadows shut the. stars away; But this enlivens life's romance Fo: those who like a sporting chance, Quite willing at to -morrow's sun To face whatever Fate has spun. TWELVE CENTS The Canadian Wool Co. Ltd. 2 CHURCH ST., TORONTO lYr o liar ,;Chikkf E>liglimm e .. knows everything from the largest turbine to the smallest pump on board your ship. Fie is probably a Scot, and taciturn, but 1F you meet him you will be infected with his enthu- siasm for his cherished engines. Selling* weekly from Montreal Cabin rates from .. , . $130 Thirds Class Round Trip $155 Spacial Seasonal Third Class Round Trip' Excursion Rate $129. Information from Cor. Bay and Wellington Sts. IPhono Elgin 3471) Toronto er any steamship agent Any than can get along with . wo- man not his wife. Ask Me Another: What headlines do the women scan most carefully? Answer: 'Wrinkles. out: "We were fishing one time on the Grand Banks for•—er—er— "Whales," somebody suggested. "No," said John, "we were baiting with whales." In order to sleep soundly a fellow has to have either a clear conscience ` or a might?' good lawyer. I -Constance Bennett - Little Sautes (on train) — what was the name of the last station we First ter Dey put Blini:et on i ----- stopped, mother dear" de spot last night, and I p gg i t When in- Toronto shot.. Second Gangster -Say, Bol' Don't1 . Make Your Home at youse know its seven years bail luck to break a looking -glass? The fairway beckons straight, But still the pits and bunkers wait, And no one knows just -where the ball Upon its upward flight may fall, - And who would care an awful lot, When time permits another shot, With surer grip and firmer stance, To gamble of the sporting chance. Th.: harbour flames with shining sails, But just beyond the roaring gales Call to the bolder, brayer crew Who dare to see the journey through; Whok w that life is something more green and Jasper Park "Haymaker" One of the interesting and curious little animals that inhabit Jasper Na- tional Park in Alberta, is the pike. It is about the size of a Guinea pig, with rounded ears, short legs and no visible tail. It can often be seen run- ning rabbit -like across the boulders. Another name for the pika is "the hay- maker" from bis habit of storing awaY dried grasses and plants for his winter food. Sometimes under an overhang- ing rock there will be. found his minia- ture haystack, a bundle containing per- haps a bushel of well cured vegetation, which includes apparently specimens_ of every plant in the neighborhood. "'you appreciate play twice as much hen you have earned it with work." '�,1OR MACHINE OR HANUKNITTING. .11.1 -All Wool," "Silk and Wool," "Old Tyme," all colors. 766 ib. up l;amples free. Stocking & Yarn Millet Dept. T. Orillia. Ont. EASY JUICICS. BABY C13YCKS BABY -t1 Ho( and up SIX VAR- ia aloguea , free. 17,T17.a, free. A. Fi. Switzer, Granton. Ontario. VOR SAIM 1Q� Nam d GI dioollusl$1,60; 1000Mixe¢ Gardens s Hetzie, BriitisliColumbia. txm POLAND ENDS RESTRICTION ON JEWS Warsaw—A law canceling the last of old restrictions against Jews in. Polandbecame effective recently. A radio experience Saturday wag that of hearing the president 44. Princeton University talking about no Than dreaming on a sunlit shore; rratoodents."—Londan Advertiser. Where they shall find through storm and flame The thrill and glory of the 'game, To gamble on the sporting chance. —Grantland Rice, in Songs of the Open. Modern girls are bright young peo- ple whose brains have gone into their heels.—Dame Madge Kendal. 1 angs — lu ed him) His Mother—I &feat know, Dont through his glass eye with me foist bother me. I'm reading a story. Little James—Well, its too bad you don't know the name, because little brother got off there. Our idea of a mean husband is one who sends cantly to his wife when she's ou a rapid redacing diet. Only those who are "indispensible" dare take long vacations, and even they find often that they are not serious- ly missed Next to making a profit Toilers God give them peace and plenty and bless the homes they -keep, When ends the long day's toiling may restful be their sleep, May many a joy repay them for all the in business these days, the next pains they bear, hardest job is distributing your in- 1 And may our nation's workmen in all come in such a way that your family her glories share. is happY. To make a worthless arti- cle sell make prospective buyers be- • The toilers at the furnace, the toilers lieve it is very scarce. A man is ! in the held, - also known by the enemies he keeps I Translate their strength in iron or in and the friends he loses. John smith was with a party of friends on a fishing trip, and around the Camp fire one 'evening the talk naturally ran on big fish. When it BORDEN'S CHOCOLATE MALTED MILK IS GOOD AT APW TIME L IBRE is a dellshiful change for noon dev 1-1 luncheons, picnics, and outings, that your children will love, Borden's Chocolate Molted Milk is rich and creamy, with a real MALT flavour that pub ♦ finishing touch 10 any metl. Buy a Ila of Borden's Chocolate Melted Milk today --Your dealer has It In pound and halt pound sizes, - -" A High-class Decorative Medium Mixes in hot or cold Nater Free stencilpremium label on entry package. end for Decorator's Guide and Stencil Catalogue. 404 GYPSUM, LIME AND ALABASTINE, CANADA, LIMITED Paris - Ontario the harvest yield. In bricks the mason sings us the poems of his clan, And every door and archway proclaim the working man. A. few there are who toil not and have no bouts with care; They walk the realm of pleasure to end with boredom there, But all the nation's workers with duty spend their years, And earn their right to laughter when- ever mirth appears. God bless the nation's toilers and let their dreams. came true, May happiness reward them for all the tasks they do. May blossoms deck their• gardens and love their homes maintain, And pride's sweet satisfaction make worthwhile eve • r+.tlbAl .A. Guest. The Wheat Crisis London Daily Herald (Lab.) : It. has been rather lightly taken for granted that the main reason for the crisis in the wheat industry is that, the World as a whole 'is now 'producing iliore wheat than it needs. The Italian .Pre- mier suggests that the expianatiou is that the improvement in the standard of living at the end of the war has caused people who were mainly living on bread before to turn to other and more expensive foods. We doubt this. The crisis did not come in those years. It has come at a time when the stand- ard of living is being depressed every- where. Lack of purchasing power largely due to gold shortage— has af- fected the -consumption of wheat as of other commodities. Surely the coin - mon -sense thing le to bring purchase ing power up to a point at which it tali absorb production, not to out produc tion down to the limits of an artiflcal- 1y -restricted purchasing power' - TUNNEL SAVE TOTS Los Angeles ---The construction 6f 60 tunnels at a cost of $12;720,000 is considered here to enable school Children to erose streets in the neigh- borhood of their schools in safety.. Bay St., at Dundas St. REES-$$1A8 to RiUO Single Every hotel service In a clean, quiet, fireproof building. 750 rooms. 1i& MR FAT This sensible way EE Large iliustras• ed catalogue kt new and rebu I� btaicyolestionpall- fro nWrite ' ����tK`.• i�j� $10 up, sfotei cycles, Boats. Ottboart. Motors tt, n' s w„ l'ram,por- to DIME 1tCLE: AND 112%iont0 . 'Jnr. 625 Queen strain tv 1 IMPROVE YOUR PETITE T Feeling indifferent to food? Out of sorts? Depressed? Stimulate, ppoar digestive tract with Dr, G :rter's Little Liver Pills. All: vegetable. Gentle buttlrorough. They'll get rid of body pons that cause Indigestion, Gas, etc., and give you a new boa terest in food. 25c &. 75c red packages As!: your druggist For Start taking liruschen Salts—that's the common-sense way to reclnce--but don't take them with the idea that they possess reducing qualities in themselves. This is what they do—they clean out the impurities in your blood by keeping the bowels, kidneys and liver in splendid working shape and fill you with a vigorand tireless energy you'd almost forgotten had existed—you get the needful exercise. As a result: instead of planting your- self in an easy chair every free moment and letting gabby fat accumulate you feel an urge for activity that keeps you moving around doing the things you've always wanted to do and needed to do to keep you in good condition, Krusclien Salts are the up-to-date Fountain of Youth. Take one-half teaspoon in a. glass of hot water to -morrow morning and every morning —be careful of the foods you eat— take attake regular moderate exercise—then 'Watch the pounds slide off, Kennedy & Menton 421 College St., Toronto Harley-Davidson Distributors. Write at once for our bargain list of used motorcycles. Terms arranged. Had The Flu? Then Watch Kidneys! If flu victims only knew how im- portant t regular. Nature, to he tryikidneys g a to help you get well. tries to eliminate body poisons through the kidneys. Weakened by illness, kidneys often falter in their duties, thus retaining in the system poisons that cause . eadache, poor appetite and loss of sleep. Give iesafaih e gnr'Sae Kidney and Liver Remedy, an old-time herbal remedy. Safe and gentle. You will notice a beneficial reaction even with the first dose. Sold by druggists everywhere. For free sample write Warner's Safe •Remedies Co., Toronto,, .Ontario. WARNER'S SAFE KIDNEY & LIVER REMEDY p it '_ a PUS 26 Add an equal amount of cream, or sweet oil, to Min- erd's, and apply the mixture once daily. A simple treat- ment which will Clear up yom' skirt 1 Sluggish intestinal systems lower re- sistance to colds. Cleanse them with been -a -mint, the modern chewing gum laxative. Gentle, safe, non -habit- forming. More effective because you chew it. (amen., pl ( a tThe Chewing GUM LAXATIVE For Adults and Children No Taste But the Mint rip 'IttagEiriakeNSEZMUNIU,S. \fie CA CARVV' Na. GEMINXI r F C a. 6tir tt E 1Ti C) omit PHILLIPS �`„�Op 1AACM4,t' For Troubles cid lNOIGEs-NoN SOUR STOMACH HEARTBURN CONSTIPATION n; ny people, two hoary after eat- ing, suffer indigestion as they call it. It is usually excess acid. Cor- rect it - with an alkali. The best way, th' quick, harmless and etiicl- eat way, is Phillips' Milk of Magnesia. It has remained for 50 years the standard with physicians.' One spoonful in water neutralizes many tines its volume in 'stom- ach acids, and at once. The symptoms, such as headaches, gas, gale 1.4 heartburn, etc., will disappear in five minutes. You will never use crude methods when you know this better method. And you will never suffer from ex- cess acid when. you prove Out this easy relief. Please do tbat--fat your own sake—now. Be sure to get the genuine, pre- scribed by doctors for conditions I due to excess acid. Look for the name Phillips' and the word genuine in red in Canada stiess CK L HILDPEN wilt fret, often for no apparent reason. But there's al- ways Castoriai Harmless as the recipe on the wrapper: mild and bland as it tastes. But its gentle action soothes• a youngster more surely than a more powerful medicine. rhat's the beauty of this special children's remedy! It may be given the tiniest infant—as often as therer is need. In cases of colic, diarrhea or similar disturbance, it is invaluable. A coated tongue calls for just a few drops to ward off constipation; se does any suggestion of bad breath. Whenever children don't eat well, don't rest well, or have any littler upset—this pure vegetablerepara- tion is usually all that's needed. ISSUE No. 17+--.-"31