Zurich Herald, 1930-07-10, Page 6England to Have Huge Rail,
• Bus and 'Plane Merger ,
Lf�rts are now being !bade to draw
the imperial Air Sel'viee into this huge
transport scheme. When this -is done,
a traveller will be able to purchase a
ticket whicli oil take him to his des-
tination by rail, motorbus, or ae1'07
plane front "anywhere" to "anywhere"
in the United Kingdom. Where road
or air transport is quicker than rail,
traveler's will transfer to Motor
coaches or aeroplanes, and vice versa.
One of the results of this rationali-
zation will be that this country will
have the best transport service in the
world, and the present railway depots
will be :used as travel centres for all
Per cent. of the coastal shipping. , public ttau:poits.
•
__ est Br;;.i in' Contest
Excludes Women
Bernard Shaw Found to
Possess Best—Sir Oliver
Lodge Second
Londou.—George Bernard Shaw. ac-
cording to readers of the Spectator,
the well-known weekly review, pos-
sesses the best brains of any man in
the country. •The Spectator is a jour-
nal circulating among the more
thoughful class of people whose opin-
ions in regard to mental ability are.
worth considering.
The result of a recent vote is inter-
esting in many ways. Here are the
leading men in their "order of merit":
Bernard Shaw, 214; Sir Oliver Lodge,
183; Lord Birkenhead, 162; Winston
Wells, 86; Lorci Melchett, 62; Lloyd
George, 50; Philip Snowden, 48; Sir
John Simon, 45.
The present Prime Minister does
not receive a vote and Mr. Baldwin
gets but 13. The Archbishop of Can-
terbury, Dr. Lang, finds no place but
the Archbishop of York (Dr. Temple),
LouclOrl, ing. 'W'ithin 18 months
there will he no More railway stations
in England. The Beads of tate leading
four railway services are trying to
find a new name for the present de-
pots. .Some have suggested "travel,".
Others "transport stations." Nothing
definite has been decided upon as yet,
This change is due to the fact that
the "Big Four" Have decided to ra-
tionalize their services and to cut out
unnecessary wastage and competition.
Within less than a year these railway
companies will control all the road
services. Already they control 85 per
cent. et the motor transport and 75
Atlantic is Spanned 16
Many Ties
By Planes
Captain Charles E. Kingeford-
Smith and his companions, flying non-
stop across the North Atlantic from
Ireland to Harbor Grace, N.F., ac-
complished a feat that hail been per-
formed only once before and attempts
at Which had taken a toll of eight'
lives.
More than a score of planes had pre-
ceded Kingsford -Smith in Atlantic
flights, however, some of them having
crossed in the opposite direction over
approximately the route chosen by
hint, and others farther to the north
or to the south. Among the latter
were several important flights across
the South Atlantic.
Successful trans-Atlantic flights in
heavier-than-air craft have included
the following:
1919
May 31—NC-4 flying boat crossed
from Trepassy Bay to Lisbon with
stop at Azores.
June 14—Alcock and Brawn made j with 32 votes, follows closely upon
first non-stop night, flying from Naw i the heels of Lord Reading, who obtain-
foundlaud to Ireland. ` of 35. Sir James Barrie is "placed"
1922 1 by 15 voters and follows G. K. Chester -
April 1S—First South Atlantic cross -1 ton's 17,
Mg, by Cabral and Coutltino, from No woman was included ou the list.
Lisbon to Rio de Janeiro.
1924
August—Army flyers crossed from t Library Has Sn®und-
Europe to Labrador via Greenland in
flight. around world.
1927
February 8 to June 16—Colonel the
Marchesi de Pinedo made a round
• trip, Europe to South America and
United States via. Azores to Europe.
May 20, 21—Colonel Lindbergh flew
from New York, to Paris.
June 4, 4—Clarence D. Chamberlin
flew to Germany with Charles A.
Levine. music. Fifteen hundred records are
June 29, 30 --Rear Admiral Byrd
made his crossing to France.
Yachting Spectacle
!1
King Opens Althing on Spot
Where First One Met hi 930
Simple Rites Mark Opening of World's Oldest Parliament, --.1
1housands Attend Ceremony
7'hingvellir, les. --Christian, Ling of i dashing river that cascades itself
l ,1tud, opened the 1930 session of the' through Almannagja rift. '!'hey plod
lc.i.lai' , June 2 at the very t creel along the winding •Toad over the
{ulis Aittting
Ispot where 1000 years ago this oldest: same route taken le the first legis -
i parliament in tate world first was con-' lators of the ancient 1C0l nd of Repub-
voted. lie to the great Rocl`
th
Bing Christian stood upon a 1, i 3 ' center of the historic plain. '!'here
r
roelt in the !middle of the plait! of 1 they souped the111Sel1esin
It was a thrilling spectacle tor yachtsmen when his majesty's yacht,
Britannia (right) raced Sir Thomas Lipton's challenger for the America Cup,
Shamrock V, on the Solent, recently. 4
Britain Accepts is Old Swiss Town Will
the tisane
'lhixgialla where grim*Coatbeard, the I net• of the ancient Vikings under the
lawgiver, in ancient days, recited frond banncre of their respective localities.
memory the entire code of Icelandic The Icelandic Parliament, or Al -
thing, is cow held in Reykjavik, but
'i he eereluonies were simple as of !! formerly it was held at Thingvellie or
ohl, so simple as to obtain an altnust I the Plain of Assembly.
religious aspect. Tine Alibi/1g ' is reckoned to have
The broad plain was dotted with been established in. 930. A universal
many thousands of persons who had code of law for the Icelandic Republic
-come from far corners of the earth. was thein accepted. At the time the
Crowds began arriving from Reyk- northern peoples did not write down
javik, 35 miles away over twisting their
he rtlants, Mit
t fne iitl eed thetltlteand
motuitain roads, early in the morning,
ir
Flom a pulpit hung high on the side "things" or "assemblies, The exact
of a elift like an eagle's nest, Bishop wording. of the first code of laws of
Jon Helgason conducted divine ser- the Icelandic Republic is not known,
vire, after which the icelandei's formed for it was not until 1117 that Icelandic
into a long procession and crossed a laws began to be recorded in writing.
chuckling and then told nue frigidly
that he hail made a mistake—he had
once thought zee a gentleman.
Chinese of all classes regard home
•
and family ties as sacred. Anything
•
that disparages a mother or father by
marriage is sacrilege. Much the same
applies 'to Indians. When an Indians
calls you his father and his mother,
he is paying you the highest oomph -
meat. Yet he is invariably guilty of
an unconscious joke whenever he
wishes to be unusually polite. A stock
phrase for such occasion; is: "Sahib,
you are my father and my mother, and
I am the son of a .pig!" It never
strikes him as fanny!
Even before Prohibition gave a glut
of drinking jokes to the world, the sub-
ject of alcohol was a universal smile-
winner. Spain was laughing the other
clay at the story of a man whose ocul-
ist had .told hint that his weak sight
was due to too much drink. "On the
contrary," the man replied, "when I
drink I see double!" And the adveti-
tres of the heavy father and timid
suitor raise a smile in every land
where a mall and a maid make love.
I pick this one from Rome:—
She: 'What!! Yoµ cotyle to ask my
hand armed with .a rifle?"
Ike: "Well, you see, someone told
me your father was an. old bear!"
The "dear old lady" yarn is known
in every couutry except in the East,
where age is venerated. This is from
Belgium. A young Tuan has taken his
elderly aunt to the theatre. He tells
her that the next act takes place a
year later. '
Old Lady: "Are you sure our tickets
will still be valid?"
The Germans and the Swiss never
fail to "fall for" a joke against doctors.,
A Swiss told me this quite recently. A
doctor was showing a woman a flue
tiger skin.
"Yes," he ,said, "one of my friends
wounded it, but it was I who finislieeecl
it ?"Now, now, doctor," cooed the wo-
man, "you'll never make me believe
that this tiger was one of your pa-
tients!"
And this floated through the ether
the other night from a German wire-
less station:—
Doctor (after examining a patient):
"You are suffering from alcoholic
abuse and a weak heart."
Patient: "You'd better give me some-
thing for the heart!"
American humour includes skits on
domestic differences that would offend
many people. Thus, a prominent jour-
nal had a sketch recently of a young
wife with'a revolver in her hand and
a • little girl looking up at her. Tb.e
mother is saying: "Run and get the.
movie camera, dear; mamma's going
to shoot at papa again!'!" Aud an -
Equality Status e World Bank Seat
Lloyd George Says Dominions
Won Independence in
Great War, ments as a town favorably situated in
London—The determining factor to the heart of the European Continent,
the Great War was the British Em equally exposed to Central and West
ern European civilization and under
Aire, said Mr. Lloyd George recently
in au address to members of the Im-I the protection of Swiss neutrality..
Aerial Press Conference. Even, before Basle became a member
It was a very near thing as It was; of the Swiss "Bund" about 500 years
much nearer than I care to think ago, the town was the banker of the
when I reflect upon it, he added. Swiss Confederation.
The effect of the war upon the con- Basle is an independent State in
siltation of the Empire lead been re- the _ Swiss Cottfederatiou and . has a
con-
volutionary, and the quality and in government and a Constitution of 'its
dependence of the young nations of 'own. The comparison with other
towns of similar size is, therefore
not quite an adequate comparison.
According to the census of 1920, 73
per, cent• theof residents
rthe total of 827` per
awl
cent. of foreigners, 20 per cent. were
Germans, 3 per cent. French 'and not
quite 2 per cent. Italians:
Basle has never had a pronounced
interuattoual character like other
Swiss towns, especially Geneva, since
the League of Nations. Though pro-
gressive in a general way, the prog-
ress is, compared with towns of the
United States, slow, and we find its
social lite still rich in deep.rooted
traditions. The Basle as pictured in
the Revue des Deux Mondes in 1863
is still largely the Basle of to -day.
"Tate cleanliness which one remarks
seems to he the result of old habits;
it has passed into the character of the
people. Solely occupied with their
affairs where they manifest a persist-
ent and calculated patience, they do
not let business transgress the bor-
ders of their homes.
No doubt the establishment of the.
Bank for International Settlements
will mean many changes for this old
fawn on the Rhine. your mother-in-law."
Acqused—"I did it out of pity, sir."
Judge—"Out .of pity?"
Accused -"Yes, sir, out of pity for
myself!"
That might as easily have been used
M an English, American, or German
journal. But here's a warning. I
once told a mother-in-law story to a
Chinese. It all but lost me his friend-
ship. He listened gravely to my
Scotsman and Jew
World Mirth -Makers
American Wit is Smooth-
German Ponderous and
Chinese Polite
"A Scot opened his purse and a
moth flew out!"
That is a classic one -line laugh that
has tickled the ribs of the world. First
Py R. ORKHARD i published iu an English newspaper, it
Basle has been chosen as the -seat ] was speeding out of this country by
f the Bank for internacional Settle- I wire, wireless and cable to Europe,
America, and the East, almost before
Britain had begun to smile. Within a
week it had appeared in twenty dif-
ferent languages in every corner of
the earth. White, black, brown, red,
and yellow faces had opened from the
centre because of it. It comprised the
perfect Esperanto laugh—a joke the
whole world understands.
The reasons were its brevity and its
simple language. It contained no dou-
ble meanings or play upon words. A
Scot is a Scot, a purse is a purse, and
a moth a moth, in any language. The
joke is as good in Sanskrit or Bantu
as in English.
Not all jokes that appeal to English-
speaking people make foreigners
smile. You have heard .that. yarn, no
doubt, •of the. Englishman, the Scot,
and the Jew who went into .a public
house; the Euglishman.stood a round
of drinks, the Scot stood six foot two,
atioril rt? tate Jew stood in silent admire -
That is the sort of joke that is only
funny in English. Try to translate it
into, say, French or German!, and you
are lost. The core of the joke is the
triple meaning of the very "to stand."
There. is no equivalent word in any
other language.
The alleged meanness of the Scot
and the Jew's shrewd bargaining are
subjects of world-wide appeal. That
is because Jews and Scots are more
widely distributed over the earth's sur-
face than are any other nationals.
Mothers-in-law, too, are good for a
laugh in most countries. A. Portuguese
paper published the following recent-
ly: ,
Judge—"You are accused of killing
4 the Empire were •now accomplished
Proof US1 Room, facts, accepted unreservedly by Great
Britain, and acknowledged by the
idany unusual services are offered: world. But the problem of the future
by public libraries, but one of the' still remained.
most interesting recently noticed. is 1 "The next step after' equality is et-
that
tthat performed by a branch library fective unity. Make nutty as effec-
of New York. it contains a sound- tine as you made equality; if you clout
proof room equipped with a fine phone- the Empire will not remain," advised
grapl't where people may go by ap- the speaker.
ointment to hear their favorite
on file, most of them symphonies.
August 28—Brock and Schlee flew operatic numbers and other standard
•
from Newfoundland to Loudon during I works.
If the cry raised by educationalists
Newfoundland-Tokio10 flight. that taste in music is being lament -
October 10
10 to 20—Costes and Le-:brix flew from Paris to Buenos Ayres' i
ably lowered by the influence of the
radio is to be believed, a project such
and continued to the United States.,
1928 i as this would appear trlikely to pros-
] per. But the contrary is true. The
April 12, 13—First non-stop west -
i music room is patronized. every min -
ward flight, the Bremen flew from Ire use of the nine hours a day it is
land to Greenly Island. open. Several hundred people apply
I every month and appointments are
June 17—Miss Amelia Ferbam cross
ed to England in the Friendship. made weeks in advance. Besides
July 3, 4—First sou -stop flight from ,
music lovers who go to hear their
Europe to South America, Ferraris favorite pieces, musicians, concert
and Del rPete. soloists and members of orchestras
1929 come to study different works as they
March 24, 25, 26—The Jesus dellare interpreted by various artists.
Gran Poder flew non-stop from Spain, Trustees of public libraries or phil-
to Brazil anthropic citizens might well con -
June 13—Yellow Bird flew from Old template following the example of
Orchard Beach to Comities, Spain. this enterprising New York library.
July 8, 9—Williams and Yancey flew A "library" of recorded music and the
from Maine to Spain.
1930
June 23, 24, 25—Captain Kingsford•
Smith and companions flea from Ire-
land to Harbor Grace. N.F.
R-100 to Start
Late in July
Loudon.—The Air Minister, Lord
Thompson, told the Imperial Press
Couference recently that the airship
R-100 would leave for Montreal on its
maiden. trans-Atlantic journey during
the last few days of July.
Lord Thompson added that he would
be braking a journey in the other new
British dirigible, R-101, to India, in
September:
French Births Exceeds
Deaths During Quarter
Faris—The first three months of
this year have shown that France
again has more births than deaths.
The mortality report made public
ere lists 10,797 more births titan
elettths. in the first three months of river embankments and impair the
last year deaths exceeded births by1 safely of dams, waterworks and road -
7,000. ways.
The improved showing was attribut- Commissioner Schuster pointed out
ed to a lower death rate, the 'ream- that 50,000 Muskrats were killed an -
tion being nearly one-third, while nually in Germany to arrest the dam-
births remained the same. For the'l age they cause. To raise them cem-
entite year of 1929 there were 12,000 tnercielly, he said, would be to invite
more. deaths than births.
great trouble.
opportunity to "read" it may have
cultural benefits approaching thosehaving built has parking space.
afforded by collections of the punted,
word.X (incredulously): "Did you say he
1, was a prosperous farmer?" Y: "Yes,
Flier To Carry
Own Automobile
New York.—Capt. R. D. Archibald,
British flier, plans to carry an automo-
bile on his flights hereafter, mainly
for picnics when he lands somewhere.
He has come front England with the
car, a tiny thing, weighing half a ton
and three feet high. A plane he is
Germany Limits Muskrats I he sold his acres to the golf club!
• Menace to Public Works
Berlin—The Commissioner of For-
ests, Ludwig Sevhuster, has put his
foot down on wholesale muskrat
breeding on the ground that the rod-
ents would undermine railroad and
US. Slayer Faces Electric Chair
Jr Inoculation With Disease
Albuquerque N.M.—Woo Dale San
itacl the choice recently of death in the
electric chair or of recleniptiOn in the,
seevicee of httmanity.
Sentenced to death for the muttler
of a counta'yntan, the Chinese was
given, the alternative of submitting to
inoctllattOti with trachoma germs that
I more about tete di,s-
The trachoma germ long has been a
scourge" among .tate Indians. Four
years ago, •Dr. Hieclyo Noguchi, noted
Japanese scientist, did considerable
research. work here among the in-
cliatis. Ile believed that he had iso-
lated the germ, but he cried in 1928, a 1
victim of his 'own research.
science may earn n? 1 No opportunity, however, ever has
ease that is the scourge of Ind ian6 inocen ulation granted. for
semen xperii eeingstioOnly i
tribes,
The plain to offer Wee life iniprisOtn-
meitt instead of the chair .on this eon-
ditioil was presented by Dr. Plk-
1Ricltards, 'U'nitecl States research 1 1l Y
. iCIal#, at the Albuquerque Iridian
School De. Richards promised Alvin
White, the slayers attorney, every effort would be made t0 have plan of iir;€nitichard,, itg nines die next
ttorney that
monkeys and other animals have been
inoculated.
Medical authorities generally have
concealed that an experiment i1p011 a
human being is needed to complete 1'e-1
search.
If the Chinese will not agree to tato
English Girl Typists Fail
.London—five out of every six girls
failed at the latest examinations for
typists held by the civil service com-
mission. All aspirants were between
the ages of eighteen and twenty -eight -
and only 150 otit of 920 passed the
test.
Gigantic Olympic Preparations
hanged if he
month, in the electric, chair. a, Titottsands Of _tents of concrete are ponied in 'fitmous T,os'
the death. sentence changed -
would grant the. 1130 of the Chinese for Neither White nor Woo las madesports will be held int 10th Olympic gamesr
experimental. pilriloses,
decision.
other—of a husband returning home
at Christmas -time to find his wife eme
bracing another man—bore the cap,
tion: "By jove, I forgot the mistletoe!".
Just as American humour is slick,
German ponderous, and Chinese polite,
so the main characteristic of the
French has always been an aptitude
for the quick retort. Prince Talley -
rand, the famous diplomat, limped
badly, and Otte day on entering a roma.
he was met by a woman with a bad
squint.
"Monsieur de Talleyrand," she ex'
claimed, "how you walk!"
In a flash came the answer:—
"As you see, madam, all cock-eyed!"`
Whether your face is white, black.
or yellow, a laugh makes brothers of
us all.
An Old "Sky -1 iawk"
Cheyenne, Wyo, Arriving here re•
•
gently from °Mahe, Neb., Ja'llies
(Jack) Knight, veteran pilot of 'Boe-
ing Air Transport, Inc:, completed his
3000th hour of flying, representing alt
air mileage of ; approximately 800,000
miles.
He Itas never hac1, a major mishap
during his flying career.
A
WATCHER
A poor ratan watched a thousand
years e
�"z'' '�w,+c �f.� u, y°,�f�` �,a,$`� v.,%i�,gs�'�'ci►a�a��y'?'�ysfa b flYn'C the gates of Paradise,
N + �; .arH•z's k £rsG;r yRk kik x
Then While he snatched one little far
i ��pr4 sF r. _ z?<>•:. c��' s " � (. it opened and shut,—P'erstall,
Op
Tite Only. way a Politiiation can
keep young fs to have a birth rani
coliseunn,,.:wltere tuoSL of trach .and field above the death rate. -=W. S. Thoin<p-,
A11010
son, Scripps I� onnclatnori,