Zurich Herald, 1928-07-12, Page 3LAFFS
O.W. 4.
(ON WITH LAUGHTER)
A sick calf acts that way anyhow,
(but a Man our when he is in love.
Tbore are more oppartuniti t e
(day then there are men capable of
grasping them
Vence from ;Olin Shortness- wklieli ins
dleates tbe,sthorttaess of married life.
Dave Tubbs and Rosa Bowles Were
married last week, Now that she's got
Tubbs she'll probanly want a wash»
board.
Skene old enough . to be called
1"Miss" if she no longer prefers sitting
`on the floor to mut on her eteekings,
THE CORRESPONDENT'S PLEA
It we could write the things we fee&,
Could snake imagination real—
If pencil, paper, pen and ink
glad but the gift to make us think.
(We'd ehed our studied attitudes,
Irene remarks and platitude%,
iAnd write our missives just as
though
They went to people whom we know..
i'We'd skarn such terns se eleven date"
Bind "In reply we beg to state,"
"Regarding" would not be "in re," -'
Our meanings would be plain ate day.
'"Yours truly" we would" not "remain",
Inane stilted plerasee we'd refrain-•=-.
) A W vivid would our letters be
'lIn simple phraseology!
IND "lfith mist" or "30th. alt,"
Our readers' sense wouldeinsult;
From floral bombast. like "esteemed"
Our sentences would be redeemed.
Now go on with the story: . And
there was the SeetchmanWho Wouldn't
Wear sox because they mut "oto Mach
strain on btu garte'ne.
Pity one couldn't know tie's got
ere ugh until bele got too mulch,
Advice Regarcding Gardens:. "Weed
'em and Reap,"
Victor of North`
Ole on. Way to • WO uccess
plotters, eXDaOited by the came inter-
ests that are now .fighting to enslave
the ptople .of Latin .lixnerica.
""]But it is our eonvietion that if
ail the eitizeno 'would snake beard
their voice of protect, the opinion of
the maJority would be carried out, the
opinion.• against the criminal plans, of
the' NVaebington goy 'l'nment,
"We want to trans it through your
army of liberation of Inicaragua to
the anti-innperia&ist fighters of the
'United States for the sending cf mad-
leines,aeking thein at the same time
that they shoU d Mane known our
opinion on, the ,systematic extermina,
tion of a defenceless people by a coun-
try that in not offieially at war, in
violation of the Constituion of he
Uni'ed States..
"With cordial greetings, I am
yours: /Or country and li"berty.
"A, C. SANDINO.
(Seal) "Patric y leibertad,"
Encouraged by the euceess of ti%e1r
first shipment, the All -America Ante
Irnperialistic League . announced that
it le planning to send more medicinal
supplies to General Sandino as soon
as possible.
BABY'S OWN TABLETS.
THE ROME DOCTOR
Dancing Now in
Revue Song
London Hit Tells About Girl
Who Had Prince for a
Partner Twice Re-
moved •
London—The Prince of Wales can
and often does enjoy a joke at hie
own expense, A humorous allusion
to his. many achievements, whether
on the hunting field, at golf, or at the
dance, is sure of a ready laugh from
him, and no resentment.
Snot an allusion is most likely to
Abe made on the stage, and it is the
duty of the Lord Chamberlain, the
censor of plays, to see that it is with-
in the bounde of propriety. Of course,
if the Prince himself saya he does not
object, theca .is an end to the mat-
ter; and be tuts raised no objection
In homely woods and simple style to his name being mentioned in a
We'd write each letter with asmile-
song which ,is one of the hits of a
Oh! What a difference—goodness'
knows,
If we could write plain English proses
DOINGS OF THE NAMES CLUB
' There's nothing in a name, as A.
Bose, who was married last week,
hill soon find out.
Ida L. Shortness di -
was
granted
a
Cute in a13aby
wful ate nee
..and it's Da>rlgerou:s-
by 12ut1t flritcaia
FOR SOUTH POLE NEXT
Wooden Lockheed -Vega, monoplane in which. Sir Hubert Wilkins and Lt,
Eielson flew over the "top of the' world," being lowered from the S.S.
Berengaria. The plane will be used hi their South Pole explorations•.
HOW DELICATE ClRt2
ARE -MADE STRONG
revue now running in London.
As Americans know, the heir to the
British throne ie found of dancing
and that he is catholic in bis choice
of partners, When he 'patronizes a
dance, whether it be a patrician or a
plebian affair, be doss not just "look
in," make one or two gracious bows
and' then execute a quick getaway.
He goes to dance, and he does.
He has patronized. many dances or-
ganized by the proletariat in the
causeof charity, bas entered thor-
oughly into the spirit of them, and
has made glad the heart of many a
girl belonging to the humble classes
by selecting her as his partner. The
fact that he is a "good mixer" and
can enjoy himself in any company is
responsible largely for his great
popularity.
- The chorus of the revue song 1xS
question, as sung by Miss Mimi Craw-
ford, runs as follows:
Rich; Red Blood Needed to Keep
Up Their Vitality.
It should be borne in mind that
pale, bloodless-" girls need plenty of
nourishment, plenty of sleep and regu-
lar out-of-door exercise. But a lack of
appetite and tired, aching limbs tend
to hinder progress. To save the weak,
thin -blooded sufferer, she must have
new, rich blood, and nothing meets a
case of this kind so well as Dr. Wil-
liams' Pink Pills. These pills not only
enrich and increase the blood supply,
they help the appetite and aid diges-
tion, relieve the weary back and limbs,
thus bringing new health and strength
and transforming anaemic girls and
women into cheerful, happy people.
The value of Dt. Williams' Pink
Pills in the case of anaemic girls is
proved by the case of Miss Lucy Stod-
dart, Margaretville, N.S., who says:
"From the age of 12 to 15, I was in
an anaemic condition. I was very thin
and nervous, had no appetite and had
no desire to take part in the doings
of those of my age. My mother got
tonic after tonic for . me, but they did
me very little good. Then Dr. Wil-
liams' Pink Pills were recommended
and almost from the first they 'deemed
to be just what was needed to restore
my strength. After taking the pills
for a time I felt an altogether''differ-
ent girl. I got • up in the morning
feeling bright and active, and ready
for work or play. Since then I have
always taken a couple of boxes of Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills in the spring as
a tonic and have thus kept in the best
of condition."
Every weak girl should promptly
follow the example of Miss Stoddart,
feeling sure that the pills will renew
her health. You can get the pills from
any medicine dealer or by main at 50
cents a box from The Dr. Williams'
Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont.'
I've danced with a roan who's danced
with a girl -
Who's danced with the Prince of
Wales;
I'm crazy with excitement—complete-
ly off the rails;
When he told me .what she told
him
The Prince remarked to her,
It was simply grand!
He said, "Topping band,"
And she said, "Delightful, sir."
Glory, glory, Hallelujah.
I'm the luckiest of females,
For I've danced with a man who's
danced with a girt
Who's danced with the Prince of
Wales. •
The revue is called "Many Happy
Returns," and it contains many sly
thrusts at men and women who are
for the•moment'Prominent in the pub-
lic eye. Some of these thrusts, it is
understood, were regarded by the
Lord Chamberlain as a trifle too
personal, no they were either cut out
or toned down.
The revue was first produced pri-
vately at the Arts Theatre. Being a
private performance, the Lord Cham-
berlain bad ;no authority to exercise
his blue pencil. It was thought, how-
ever, that the Prince should be asked
if he objected to the song inquestlon,
and he replied, through one of lids
secretaries, that he did not.
I'm` somewhat of a talker myself.—
William Sulzer.
Thumb sucking,dees look sweet.in a
baby, but it is diigusting in the three-
year-old and sometimes it hangs on
until fifteen or sixteen! The habit
may cause an ill -formed mouth or in-
duce adenoids; and it always inter-
feres with digestion. Pinning the
sleeve over the hand; attaching mit-
tens, or putting on cardboard cuffs,
which prevent bending the arms at
the elbows, are some of the ways to
stop the habit.
Another bad habit—irregularity in
bowel action—is responsible for weak
bowels and constivatlon in babies.
Give the tiny . bowels an opportunity
io act at regular periods each day.
If they don't act at first, a little
Fleteher's Castoria will soon regulate
them. Every another should keep a
bottle of it handy to use in case of
colic, cholera, diarrhea, gas on stom-
ach and bowels, constipation, loss of
sleety or when baby le cross and
'feverish. lin gentle influence over
baby's system enables him to get full
nourishment from his food, helps him
gain, strengthens his bowels.
Castoria is purely vegetable and
harmless—the recipe is on the wrap-
per. Physicians have -.prescribed it
for over 30 years. With each pack-
age,
ackage, you get a valuable book on
Motherhood. Look for Chas. H.
Fietcher's signature on the wrapper
so you'll get the genuine.
Saoldino Flays
Classified Advertlsare
neelrir COXIOnnl
a�Lraxsraiso evrolownxsu. e
JAIyi)rHol? VAN• IIODIB$ O�Ix1GIN,rlL•
L' X ^Y cost i�otwecn $Q40.R #ud $800.00,
eor sale .cheap. laxcelieet opportunity
tor]Deal %Hovers. Reason for eelliztg:--+
these vane have been replaced .by mail
ern type for Ions'-dietaHo( rrioving. Apply:,
llill The Mover, Hamilton,. ._,,..i, i
O— '
A73Y XUnenIl�lS
varieties, prices 10e up. We will,
ave 60,000 for July and ren ust. Write
for tree catalogue, 4., i, ewitzer, i
Grauton, Onteriq,
ue rAAN
� •'Eli POUND 'U'P. TWENTi'*
P�a) one samples free, Stocking n
Tarn Mills, Dept. 1, Orillte Ont.
"What book has helped you most ili
your. career?" was asked. "The vols
urge of business," replied the merchant
prince.
Baby's Own Tablets meet all the
need that exists in every home where,
laxative, but do not gripe. They .are "I say, it was jolly cold up there."
,5.«Cr•
ime
)! soothing, but do not contain one par- He danced with a number of the girl
title of opiate or other ingredient that students, making his own choice of
can in any way do the slightest harm partners. Afterward the students gave
Note From Rebel Chief to the most delicate child. him a carved oaken model of the
Thanking Americans tor
Baby's Own Tablets reduce fever, school's crest. This was the only
relieve colic, banish constipation and birthday present he would accept, hav-
ing recently turned down a valuable
gift with the words, "I'm too old for
birthday presents."
As another year has ticked off with-
out altering the celibate state of the
Prince, the usual question, -Will he
ever marry?" is being asked, but as
usual he gives no sign which may be
taken as an answer.
Prince of Wales Now 34,
Passes Birthday Quietly
London.,—Britain, on June 23rd,
wished the Prince of Wales many
happy returns on the occasion of his
thirty-fourth birthday, but, in accord-
ance with custom, there was no public
celebration. The Pince himself pass-
ed a quiet week end at Sunningdale,
bettering his golf,
He closed his year with a short
speech to students of the London
School of Economics, gathered in a
chilly wind on the new school build-
ing's roof, which later all were glad
to leave for a dance inside. There
there are young children. They are a' he remarked to friends:
Medical Supplies Re-
ceived
Tells of "Extermination"
A grimy, weary rider on a mule,
fighting jungle beasts and suffering
frem tropical diseases, has succeeded
in piercing the lines of the American
marines to General Augustine San-
dino with, the first shipment of med-
ical supplies, bought with American
funds and has returned with. a letter
from ,the leader of the Nicaraguan re-
bels denouncing "the systematic ex-
termination
xtermination of a deenseless people by
a country that is not officially at war,'
aocording to the headquarters of the they are the finest medicine in the
All-American Anti -Imperialist League, world for little ones."
39Square. A copy of the purported
letter was given to the press.
The shipment of medical supplies
was sent from New York in the early
part of March, in answer to a plea
from General Sandino that "for want
of bandages and medicines my wound
ed are dying like dogs on the road."
When the consignmet reached Froy-
lan Turcios,, personal representative
of Geeearl sandio at Tegucigalpa,
Honduras, a call was made for a
volunteer to take it to Sandino, ae-
cordingto the story by Harry Gannes,
Secretary of the Anti -Imperialist Lea-
gue in New York. Dr. Gustave
Machado was aeceipted, Ma. Gannes
said.
General Sandino in has punported
letter assails the ""policies of aggres-
sion" of the Washington Government.
The letter reads as follows:
Discover
the old --world charm, of
Canada for yourself
Montreal—Murray Bay,. -Saguenay Canyon
SLASHING waters, blue as the summer sky . 'slates
jewelled by tiny islets crowned with Aladdin p aces
. . , sweet fresh winds
and enjoyment.
Your boat gliding through group after group .
everywhere a panorama of wondrous beauty
laughter and music . . . the joy of good company..
And then down the winding, rushing St•Law en� througix
dashing over foaming rapids throwing the spray of Con-
quest
cascades
quest over the bows.f" , and quaint Quebec
And so to Montreal . 'i'aduaint •
and• • and Murray Bay'
the g""i t capes of the Saguenay where mountains
t the sea`. 7ti'Ac°ti1l"' !,-i :l,,+(,d''`7i' 1
�gvacation that is new -
new with tbe
xs anew to the eye, the ear,
thrill of tingling life
the whole being.
await t The gadventure1000sinto
a de and alld onig the banks
awaits you through the
of the great Romantic River.
for -or detdflt of ads tour of surprises
�
yJ. R. Beck,
` Montreal,Que:
;£ Ticket Office: 48 Yonge Street,
115 Victoria Square . iOrontO, Ont.
or your Local. agent,
Y
CANADA WITANISHIP LINES
6120
•
tip
nn
n
indigestion,, cheek diarrhoea, sweeten
the stomach and allay the irritation
that accompanies the cutting of teeth.
They quiet the nerves and promote
health -giving sleep and repose. In
fact they are as good as a doctor in
the home, and once a mother has used
thein for her little ones she will use
nothing else. Thousands of mothers
bear testimony as to this. Among
them is Mrs. Hurst, Pine Falls, Man.,
who says:—"I was told to try Baby's
Own Tablets by a friend who had used
them for all her little ones and said
she could not do withoutt After
using them for my baby boy I quite
agree 'with her and certainly think
HAD NOT BEEN TAKING A DRINK
Minister: I -suspect you have been
taking a drink, Mr. Brown.
Church Member • (coldly paissing
on) : I'm an honest man, sir. I paid
for my drink, as I always do.
Sirs --Members of the United
States Section of the All -Ameri-
ca Anti-IlnVerialistic League, 39
Union.. Square, ,Room. 40, New
York City:
Baby's Own Tablets are sold by all
medicine dealers or by mail at 25 cents
a box from The Dr. Williams Medicine
Co., Brockville, Ont.
"I am glad to inform you that I
have received from the bands of Dr,
Gustave Machado(who came to our
encampment as a representative of
the Central Committee of the Hands,
Off -Nicaragua Aesociation) a pack-
age containing cotton, bandages and
other medicines to cure the wounds
of our soldiers.
"We are especially delighted that
you, honest North Americans, man -
feat in this manner your protest and
disapproval of the policies of aggres-
cion that the existing Government of
United States is carrying on in
Nicaragua.
"We know that the majority of the
North American people is not direct-
ly responsible for the ferocious crimes
that the marines, commit every day in
our country. Even to us came notice
of the news of the meetings and pub-
lic manifestations against the send-
ing the matinee to Nicaragua. We
well know the tetuation of the work -
Strong Man Ties Traffic
Lionel B. Morrett, of Sydney, Aus-
tralia, who prefers to be known as
"Little Samson," the world's strongest
small man," weighs 101 pounds and
stands four feet ten inches in his
riding boots. At Forty-eventh Street
and Broadway, in New York, at noon
recently, he allowed two truck horses,
attached to him by chafns, to pull
East and West. For some seven min-
utes the horses, responding to the
proddings of attendants, struggled
vainly to gallop in opposite directions.
Several thousand persons watched
and tragic was suspended.
When the stunt was over and "Lit-
tle Samson" had been duly photo-
graphed and congratulated, he made
a short speech to the assembled
Times Square habitues to the effect
that he soon would be seen perform-
ing in vaudeville at the regular rates.
"Little Samson" is ?G years old. He
atatributes his strength .to a balanced
diet. "I eat when l'm'hungry, but I 25 daces rerescurc�, s c_uvr, �1=.4�. t
eat the right things," lie said rays- 1,ai,l (mthrt i, ".r,•tt, y 1'tet,l (tla,r"t$
teriously. anti elle tt seepss te h.,,t +t•olu. ili,ney
The King Collects His Rent
At the beginning of the week, on
the anniversary of the Battle of
Waterloo, the Duke of Wellington
went to Windsor Castle to present to
the Ring the banner by which he pays
his rent for the estate of Stratfield-
Saye: This estate was granted to the
"Iron Duke" who won Waterloo, and
his descendants in perpetuity, on the
quaint condition that the holder of
the ducal title should present to the
sovereign on each anniversary of the
battle a banner which has taken the
form of a miniature .Napoleonic eagle
standard:
Quitrents of this kind are not un-
coleamon st} v ya1e of olthgr p!e�
Duke of Atholl -rails 1#ar'it of mks lands
on condition that he presents a white
rose to the sovereign when honored
by a royal visit. Red roses have . been
given to the King by the owner of a
house in Buckinghamshire 'when the
monarchpasses that way and the own-
er of estates near Aylesbury is under
obligation in similar circumstances to
furnish straw for the royal bed.
If part of the proceeding IS that his
Majesty should sleep upon straw, it
seems unlikely that he wil ever eon
led -'this quit rent.
• k
"Many a girl has d:seovered t :at
she can't vote on ler twent :first
birthday unless it rappens to be Wee -
tion day."
In Singapore and Malay Penineela
a popular item of food is the Ameri-
can sardine. Natives, Europeans and
Chinese there take 18 per gent. of
the U.S. experts, $1.1(t0e nti yearly.
ing classin your country, also vio-
:� to have anywhere. sone rer net. aa.,erta
Every Home Needs Minard's Liniment optical Co.,
.Ltd., 12a sth ave. Went,
Dept. 16, Calgary,
Education and the Bible
Martin Brack in the Leeds York-
shire Post (Cons.) : Much is written
and spoken about education; hardly a
newspaper is printed that does not
contain some reference to the subject.
yet these thoughts of God ,and of
man's life, with which the Bible is in-
spired throughout, are the very ones
which are omitted from present-day
education, or relegated to a minor
position in it. As to adult education,
its sources seem to be the daily Press,
a few weekly and monthly magazines,
and a multitude of novels. Some fur-
ther fodder tor the minds of both
young, and old is provided by the
cinema. But what place does the
•
tints of the appreesdon of the ex- Bible take?
Mlnard's Liniment heals cuts, bruises
4, freU,�yF
PHILLIPS=
duepcid
tNOIaCATION
IO STB°MACtiu
oACrta
onsrs•NAUSEA
When Food
y
people suffer from sour stomachs.
They call it, indigestion It means that
the stamath nerves have been ot+er-
harmless. It has remained the stand-
aid with phi icians in the 50 years
Bines its invef len.
Itis the gtyiek method. 3.teeults cone
almost instaltilt. It Is the approved
method, r4Vill tteVer? Use another
wiieit yv
Re gore to get the genuine Phillips'
Milk of Magladkila prescribed by phyai- {
Clans for 64 ears in correcting excess
acids. Each bottle contains full direc-
tions—any drtigstorat,
About two hours after eating man
stimulated. There is excess acid. The
way to correct it is with an alkali,
which: neutrali1es many times its
volume in acid.
The right way is Phillips' bilk of
Magnesia—just a tasteless dose in
water. It is pleasant, efficient and
Vaca.tionists 1
You'll find many uses for
Minaret's during your vaca-
tion days. Pack a bottle in
your grip.
FARMER'S ICE
GET$ STRENGT'
By Taking Lydia. E. Pink -
ham's Vegetable
Compound
•
Wilton; Ont.—"I am taking Lydi t 4
E. Finkham's Vegetable Compound,
of Life. It helps m4'
and I cannot praise, •.
it too highly I watil vl
troubled with heats,
flashes and. my
limbs were heavy]
60 1 could hardly; .g
walk to do .my'
faun work. I saw
in the
newspapers
yourad
'Vegetable about
Com-
pound
and thought _
to give it a trial. The first bottle gave
me relief and I have told others what
it does for me. I am s for you to
-
use my letter if you tarso. 4-
n.
jD. B. Pilules, tl Ater, Qn
?,sir Your Neigl'sbor
ISSUE No. '27---'28 �.