The Herald, 1900-08-17, Page 6111
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STEP IN SW1 'ZE . x Mr. Bryan declares that;the is^stto
D.
of the Presidential campaign.. is
The. United States Consul at St. greater than the money; question.
In this the Democratic candidate
shops s his wisdom, and it is no doubt
a wisdom honestly acquired by ex-
perience, not assumed to meet the
exigencies of the situation.
ctll, Siwitzerla.nct, underdata of
31ttly5, 'writes se follows :
F �At the . invitation of Count Zopp-
o1in, Iwas present at the trial aseen-
of his air ship on the afternoon of
July 2 at ManZe11, on Lake Con-
stance, •
('At,7 o'clock the great ship, 407
feet- long and 39 feet in liameter,
containing 17 separate bailloen corn -
St. Petersburg has introduced
to an eye infirmary a syistom of ex -
Mansion by which a, trained oculist
goes among the peasantry to give
partinents filled with hydrogen gas, treatineTnt and advice wherever he
was drawn but of the balloon house ' finds it needed. There is a IMMO-
was
moored to the float. In 20
minutes all was ready for the ascent
and the -ship left its moorings, with
anent on foot to extend the system
to other special lines of practice. •
The demand for cheapness has de -
Count Zeppelin in charge of one of 1 veloped a new danger. The plain,
the gondolas and Mr. Eugene Wolf, I ordinary domestic pin is now made
the famous explorer, in charge of `far more brittle than a needle, and
the other, while Baron Bassus' a pin -prick can no longer be regard -
accompanied the party as meteorol-
ogist.. At the moment of the ascent
the wind was blowing at the :rate
of about 20 feet per second, giving
the operators a giiocl opportunity of
testing the ability of the air wheels
to propel the great ship against the
wind. ,
"The cigar -shaped structure a-
scended slowly and gracefully to
about 30 feet above the raft. The
balances were adjusted so as to give
the ship an ascending direction.
The propellers were set in motion,
and the air ship, which has cost
considerably over $200,000, started
easily on its interesting trial trip.
At first, the ship moved east against
the wind for about two miles, race -
fully turned at an elevation of about
400 feet, and making a rapid sail to
the westward for about five•ntiles,
reached an altitude of 1300 feet.
ed as merely an annoyance. The
modern variety of pin is aipt to leave
its point in the flesh, to travel a-
round and occasion no enol of trouble
The pin that breaks should be re-
jected before it becomes too com-
mon.
The death of Mr.G. D. Wilson, of
The Brandon Sun will be deeply re-
g retotl by the journalists of the old-
er provinces. Mr. Wilson was Pres-
ident of the Western Press Associ-
ation, and enly a few weeks ago was
in Toronto with the western press
excursionists.Ile was a man of
excellent ability and of exceptional
popularity with his associates, and.
his death prematurely closes a. ca-
reer that gave inch promise of in-
fluence and usefulness.
---
Lord Roberts will probably be
It was then turned and headed once strong. enough and humane enough
to resist the jingoes in London who
are calling for "sterner measures"
for the termination of the war in
South Africa. The Boers' fight for
independanoe may be foolish and
hopeless, but that does not make it
criminal. Of course, where there
"The time of the trip was about is actual crime itmust be punished.
50 minutiae; ; distance traveled, but the mere' continuance of resist -
about 10 miles ; fastest time matte, ante would not warrant the de -
5 utiles in 17 minutes ; highest struction of farm houses and other
more east, and after traveling about
a mile against the wind, blowing
at the rate of 29 feet per second,
suddenly stopped ; floating slowly
backwards, three miles to the west;
it sank into the lake, the gondolas
resting* safely upon the water.
•, _., ... A. a'rinioNn.d.'ri.t�{t{I ..___.
`'i'he eelebt.ited Mane rt i e prison fur-
niehes an important scene in Stunkie-
i1 icz's story, "Quo Vadis." ldt is locat-
ed on the slope of the Capitoline. In
Roane, and, according to tradition, it
was begun by Ancus Martins and later
enlarged by Servins Tullius. Jugurtha
Is said to have been starved to death
here, the accomplices of Catiline stran-
gled by command of Cicero and Seja-
nus, the minister and favorite of Tibe-
rius, execntAL Church tradition has
Consecrated this prison /IS the place
where St. Peter and St. Paul were con-
fined by order of Nero. historian Hil-
lard says of it:
"The Manlertine prison is a hideous
Vault divided into an upper and lower
portion scooped out of the solid rock
and lined with massive blocks in the
Etruscan style of architecture. A more
heartbreaking place of confinement it
is not easy, to imagine. According to
the traditions of the church, St. Peter
was imprisoned here by order of Nero,
and the pillar to which he was bound
and a fountain which sprang up mirac-
ulously to furnish the water of baptism
to his jailer's. whom he converted, arca
shown to the visitor. There is no rea-
son to doubt that Tugurtha was starv-
ed to death in these pitiless vaults.
Here, too, the companions of Cntiline
were strangled. It is a curious fact
that the chances of literature and his-
tory should have carved two such
names as those of Sal]ust and Cicero
on these Cyclopean walls."
Not Piety, but Porn:.
The following bit of nonconformist
licher is taken from "The Earring -
dons." an English romance. The spi'ak-
ers are Mrs. Bateson and Mrs. Han-
key. worthy wives, but not altogether
above feeling a certain pleasure in
showing up the ways of beslTtlnds:
"They've no sense, men haven't,"
snid Mrs. Hankey; "that's what's the
matter with them." vert to go under the water was an old
"You never snoke a truer word. Mrs. colored woman, who all the while had
Hankey," replied Mrs. Bateson. "The
eery best of them don't properly know
the difference between their souls and
their stomachs, and they fancy they
are a -wrestling with their doubts when
really it is their dinner's that are
a -wrestling with thein.
"Now. take Bateson hisself," contin-
ued Mrs. Bateson. "A kinder husband
or better Methodist never drew breath, ' meats, clung to a "foot log" just as the
yet so sure as he touches a b•it of pork parson who had recently baptized her
he begins to worry 1llsself about the rode up.
doctrine of election till there's no liv Ho beard her swearing at the retrac-
ing with 1tim. And then ht''11 sit in the tory mule in vigorous teems then, take
front parlor and engage in prayer for in; her in his own buggy and driving
to dry land. he said:
hours ate a n,' eS till 1 to as "'Sister' Celine you Inez done los' all
" `Bateson,' sty's f, 'I'd be ashamed
to go troubling the Lord with a pray'e'r de salvation what male ter you by de
fust . bapti'In; so you must' stop right
revolution of the propellers, 900 per acts advocated by the stern gentle- when a pinch of carbonate of ,oda fust en tf baptized over er in:'
minute ; highest possible revolution j men of the clubs and music halls. wound set things straight again!' " p erg
in."
Three men appeared before a. Judge
In Ronan, China, and each laid claim
to the same woman as. his Wife. Not'
one of thein would retire in favor of
the other two, but each Insisted that.
justice should be done to hila. Finally
the judge exclaimed, "Well, if you
three men cannot come to some agree-
ment nothing remains for me but to
order that the woman shall be killed,
as there Is no other way In which the
matter eau be satisfactorily settled."
Ile then 0ltlle(1 for a huge cup of twine,
and when it was brought he poured in-
to it some dark powder end compelled
the woman to drink it. Excited as she
was, the woman speedily began to feel
the effect of the strong liquor. She
stammered when she tried to speak,
and ber flushed cheeks were an indigos
tion to the observers that the poison
was working and that her end was
n
it' you+ deposit money iu a bank andl
leave it there for over sis Years tivltla
out adding to it; drawing on it or Ileal -}i
lug with it in any way, it conies nudes
the statute of limitations and Is lost to. �t
you'forevcr.
Suppose you bought a gold ring and,
without saying anything about pay-
ments or delivery you turned round to
examine a, clock and a magpie flew in.
and carried off the ring It would b(µ
your loss. You would have to pay tilt:
jeweler, while he need not •give guns'
another ring.. If you bought a horse'
and said you would call for hila in the,
evening and if the stables were burned. et
and the horse destroyed ,before yo'r. as
called, you would have to ear the eon' net
sequences. Bet if anything reintsta .'7l tits;
to be done to the property puri:lt; yd ail,
the seller would be responsible.
pose he undertook to gut a nail iu tbe3''.
ear at hand.
horse's shoe or suppose the ,inise le
This was the climax for which the said he would polish up the ring; tl , r 1
judge bad waited. 'When be saw that
the woman was apparently dying, he
called one of the three men who claim,
ed her as wife and bade him remove
her from the courtroom. This man,
however, showed no inclination to do
so, and the judge thereupon insisted
that he renounce all rights to her. This
he willingly did and so diel the second
man. Only one claimant was now left,
and he agreed to remove the woman
and to care for her until she died. Sat-
isfied that he was her real husband,
the judge called kiln and said: "You
will not be sorry for acting in this .
He Prayed Bard.
An old man in Georgia named ,Tack'
Baldwin, having lost Ills bat in an old•
dry well one day, hitched a rope to a.
stump and let himself (1own. A wicked
wag named Neal came along just then
and, quietly detaching a bell trona
Baldwin's old blind horse, approached.
the well bell in hand and began to ting -
lin •
ing-
ling
Jack thought the old horse was com-
ing and said: "hang the old blind
horse! Ile's coining this way sure, and
be ain't got no more sense than to fall
in on Inc. Whoa, Bali!"
The sound came closer.
"Great ,Jerusalem, the old blind fool
will be right on top of me in a minit!
Whoa, Ball! Whoa, haw, Ball!"
Neal kicked a little dirt on Jack's
head, and .Jack begail to -pray:
"011, Lord, have mercy oti—whoa,
Ball!—a poor Sinner— I'm gone sow;
whoa. Ball. Our father who art in --
whoa, Iial11— hallowed be the- -- gee,
Ball, gee! what'll I do?—noose. Now I.
lay me clown to sl—gee, hall!" Just
then in fell more dirt. "Off, Lord, if
you ever intend to do anything for ole
—back, Ball! wheal— tiny kingdom
Colne --gee, Ball! Oh, Lord, you know I
was baptized fn Smith's mill dant—
whoa, Ball! bo! up! murder! whoa!"
Neal could hold in no lunger and
shouted a laugh which might have
been heard twe miles, Willett -,vas about
as far as .Tack chased hill when he got
out.
the loss would fall on him, not you.
If you wrote from London to a nl!1!t l
In Bristol offering to sell him a cargos
of wheat at :ie shillings a quarter aud'
he wrote a letter accepting your offer
and posted it the sante clay, the con-
tract would be completed. Suppose..
now, the letter got lost, you col.0 lucier,i
that he was not going to buy and you
sold the cargo to 801110 one else, yo.)
would be liable for damages to the first:
bnyer, and the worst of it is you could'
get nothing out of the postmaster gen-
eral.—London Answers.
manner. ]lave no fear for your wife,
since she is in no danger of death. The
liquor which she has drunk was ordi-
nary wine, and the powder which 1
poured into it was nothing but brown
sugar.'
She'd Had Enough.
There was a colored baptizing at
Sandy Bottom. Bi1lrille. The last con -
been seated in a rickety buggy drawn
I;y an Ancient mule who had been
trough the civil war.
She came up out of the water all
right. but after proceeding a short dis-
tance on her way hone the mule be-
came unmanageable and upset the bug-
gy
u --gy in the middle of a deep creek.
Tile old woman, with clreuched gar -
1,200. The cause of the sudden
stoppage .n the „ 1
- , • g ? flight of the ship
was occasioned by a slight mishap I
to the steering apparatus, but the'
colossus floated gently with the
wind. until it settled upon the sue.,
face ofthe lake without taking any
Iwilier. The raft was then brought
up, and the ship was easily placed
upon it and brought back to the
balloon hone. The weight is 200
centners • (22,000 lb.). The cost of
filling the balloon with hydrogen
gas was S2,000."
A Doctor's Letter.
A well known M. P. tells an amusing
story of an old aunt of his. Being on
one occasion vera' nervous, she told
her physician she thought Bath would
do her good.
"It's very odd," said Dr. W., "but
that's the very thing that I was going
to recommend to you. i will write the
particulars of your 011110 to a. very \„ 1ety-
er man there, in whose hands you will -
be well taken care of."
The lady, furnished with the letter.
set Off. On arriving at Bath, feeling, as
usual,. very nervous, she said to a con-
fidant:
— ---- "Long as Dr. Walter bas attended
•Ahl' UNSUITABLE. ALLEGORY. me he has never explained to me what
ails me. I have a great mind to open
his letter and see what he has stated
A company in the United States
lurch_ of my case to the Bath physician."
making a line of agricultural
inerywas anxious to extend. its ex- In vain her friend represented to her
Dort trade in reapers and mowers, the breach of confidence this would be.
and \vas acv ised. that a market cx_ She opened the letter and read:
istecl %n Germany. It was an cslter_ Dear Davis—Beep the old lady three weeks and
send her back again.
prising <
it., first
tad liberal advertiser. and
—London Tit -Bits.
idea wail to flood Geruiitny- i
"No, soli!" was the reply. "I ain't
Machine Made Jokes. gwine In dat water no mo'! Didn't dat
Some time ago a fellow got up a 1 ole mule baptize me de seeon' time?" -
little book giving hints on how to he
funny. Copies of this hook are evi-
dently in common use by the funny
men connected with many of our news-
papers. Witness this specimen joke
attributed to a Chicago paper:
IIe—Wbo is that ugly old woman
Over there by the piano?
Abe -0h,, that's Mme. Cosmetique,
the famous beauty specialist.
The book tells just how to make this
class of jokes in bulk. The same idea
I will do for a whole batch. "He" asks:
1 "'Who is that baldheaded than?" "She"
answers: "That is IJr. Quacknostrum,
the hair Renewer ulan." Again, "Ile"
I asks: "What is tate matter with those
crying brats?" And "She" responds:
"'i'ileir mother has gone to lecture on
the training of cbildren." Once you
.catch the idea you 0:111 produce tunny
things of this kind automatically, and
if you are a funny roan on 0. news-
paper :your readers will laugh every
time and other papers will quote your
jokes and give your paper credit for
with tulvertisin, picture, which. A Profitable Deposit. thein,—Pathfinder.
woulclbc hung uta in stores and shop I remember the case of an old lady at
windows, and which could not fail E. who usually bad from £13.000 to
to attract attention. The design, £15.000 standing to her credit, and,
which was executed in the highest needless to say, as she did nor ask for
style of eolor lithography, repro- any interest thereupon, none was al -
welted amowing machine driven by towed her. The manager whenever
the Goddess of Liberty in shining she entered the office was always most
and. • polychromatic garments of particular to step forward and inquire
one nuc c Hewn bv a mos en er Y eOncerning to state of
scanty propelt 1 1 t t d l the
team of Bengal tigers. It was a her health, and if she replied tbat she
brilliant 1)1011(1. Any American was suffering from a slight colt] the
country storeke .;ctr wouhl gladly expression upon the man's face grew
have hung it up for its decorativo quite ,sad. No wonder, when he re-
value, and the average Amcrienn membered that even a slight cold ]night
farmer would have been greatly im- carry off an old lady who was hauling
preseed by it, and would probably his company at least £300 a year.—
have uncicrsstooe its sombolis)n "IIow to Deal With Your Banker, by
without any explanation. The net henry warren.
result of the effort to circulate it in
Germany, however, was 0 letter
from the company's agent in that
country, from which the following
extract is made :
"The picture of your admirable
machine, of which I the receipt of
10,000 acknowledge, is not, useful in
this cotvitry, and it is of much re-
grot to me that I regm'st to return
them permission. The women of
our country, when py eircnins ta.n
cos to do agricultural work compell
0(1, do not (tress as your picture
shows is the cttstciin in your woncl-
erfui country, and would. not elven
deem such garments with im)dcsty
to consist. Also we (10 not tigers
for draught purposes cultivate, they
not being to the country native,
nor in our experience for men work
well stilted. I have to my eusto-
fuer. ss explained with earnestness
that your piettue is a "sinnbild"
(allegory)' and does not mean that
your admirable machine should. be
operated by women too little cloth-
ed, nor is it ncossary that the place
of horses shol be animals from the
Zoogischeral Garton be taken. I -
cannot nee them as you instruct
and your fterther advices respect
fully await.,,"
There will be general. elections in
Great Britain, in Canada and in the
TJxiited, Suites ixs the next .fens
months s
The Bibulous Dane.
'When the police in Dcunlark find a
man helplessly drumk in the streets,
they drive the patient in a cab to the
station. where he sobers off. Then
they take flim home. The cabman
makes his charge, the police doctor
makes his, the agents make their claim
for special duty, and this bill is pre-
pented to the landlord of the estab-
lishment where the drunkard took the
last glass that dict the business. No
.tvontler that certain landlords protest,
saying that proofs are insuIIieient and
that some alleged victims sham intoxi-
cation to get into trouble landlords
against whom they have a spite.
1)rarights as an Education.
There Is no game extant which so
admirably cotnbines educational and
recreative features or which is in every
way so well adapted for a popular and
profitable amusement among refined
and appreciative elasses as draughts.
Its influences are of an elevating char-
acter. It not only teaches, but prac-
tically enforces, the necessity of pa-
tience and perseverance, courage and
courtesy, self reliance and self control.
The game is also peculiarly and self
evidently worthy of paternal encour-
agement, as a knowledge of its incom-
parable beauties will destroy the taste I
for demoralizing gnmes of chance.—
Scottish American.
Yvby Be Rend It.
"Have you read Borus' latest book,
Moiled Brains?'
"I thought you didn't like I3orue
style." ?,
"I don't."
"What did you read his book for?"
"Because I knew some blamed fool
V 0t11c1 1'e sore to tisk me if I had read
The record for Ceylon snipe shooting
affil remains that of the muzzle loader,
100 couples In one day., This record
was made by a Ceylon eivi1 servant
called Tranellell early in the nineteerskie
century, Average Ulunei% get ael to: 4 »
sovlgles (4 dart.
The Point of View.
"Get a divorce if yotl want it!" ex-
claimed the angry husband. "I can
eneily get another wife, and I've lived
long enough to learn that one woman
is just as good as another—if not bet-
ter!"
"Yes," calmly replied his better half,
"and I've lived long enough to know
that one man is just se bad as another
—if not worse." -
Enlightened.
Professor—I'm grateful for my sense
of humor. Thank heaven, I can al-
ways see a joke.
Miss Flavilla—Oh, professor, the
sense of humor is not ability to see a
joke. The sense of homer Is 'tbrlit '
to take a joke.-
A.
oke.A. Political hosts.
"They say you are merely a political
boss." said the candid informant.
"Great Scott!" '' ejaculated Senator
Sorghum. "The °irreverence of these
moderns is sotnothing disheartening.
Why, that's all Julius Cinsar was."—
Washington Star
Sailors call a, Iow lying Iceberg it
growler, and the world "tvottltl in ,gen-
eral suggest something cool were it not
for bulldogs and London four wheel
cabs, to Which ft is also applied.
Nearly £800,000 'worth of articles are
pa'ovned 3 reap p "vg d Tr1 d , ,. .
A Curious *ood Carving.
Salem. 11Iass.. is the home of the East
India Marine hall, which contains col-
lections of the Essex institute and of
the East India Marine society. The
scientific cabinets of the Essex insti-
tute are extensive and well arranged,
and the collections of the Marine soci-
ety include many curiosities from ori-
ental countries and other distant na-
tions.
Among tate nulnerous curiosities is a
piece of Wood carving in the form of
two hemispheres 1142 11101100 in diame-
ter, in the concavities of which are
carved representations on the one beul-
!sphere of heaven and on the other of
hell. There are 110 full length figures
in the carving, and the whole is very
skillfully executed. It is said to be
the work of an Indian monk of the
fourteenth century.
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Bluffs In the Directory.
If you pick Up that interesting 0.111.11.
al, the city directory, you will find it
filled with bluffs. Isere is a ratan down
as 10 superintendent. Yeu knob h(
only the foreman of a labor'*r'.'t•tig. .1!''
other is designated as a general 1nanas
ger. Three or four tutu are subject to
his "general" management. or, as his
5 -year -old -sou, who inherited bis pro-
pensity to bluff, put it, "he's the head
man of three other Fellows." Over on
title page is another ells, who Is given
as the political editor of a newspaper
of some political importance. Don't.:
believe it. He's merely a reporter as- i
signed to gather political news, and ev-
erything he writes Is carefully "edited" .1
by another elan with a title of dnucly. ;
'I.1 1
it
it
t
less inlp((rtanee, tat man ( own 111,
Smart ,',les, the book as a merchant sells :thee -
,A. man being About to (lie summoned ; strings and collar buttons in a maths.
his four Sons to his side and said: + hole between two buildings macre avail, •
able when an alley fell Into disuse.
"My sons, 1 will leave to .John one- • "Mine. ]3lanque, modiste," is merely -
to
of my estate. to :ilex one-fifth. i Mrs i3lenk, dressmaker, making a
to Jame one-half and to Thomas one French viva for which S110 eelie0ls aft -
fourth, noel thus you will all Share
Equally." er the cutting out and fitting are dune.
John and James and Thomas took But what is the use of pirlcing thea:.
out? TUe dlrertu 7 is filled with them.,
—Pittsburg Press.
Paper and Pencil and began figuring,
but Alex took his ilat and started out.
"Where are you going?" the other
Three asked. "Do you not Intend fig-
uring out the I'r'obletn?"
"Not much," said Alex. "I am Going
for a Lnwyer to break the Will."
Moral—Sometimes the Lawyer Call
Relieve the IIelve of ylnch of the Fig•
nring.
Idle. but Bitty.
He was an Idle Dish boy, bet be had
the Celtic wit. He Mel shipped on
board of a man-of-war, where be an-
noyed the boatswain by his laciness.
Seeing him on the maintop one morn-
ing gazing idly oat to sett, the boat-
swain called out to him:
"Come down out of that, ye rasheail
Come down out of that. and 01'11 give
yea dozen whacks wicl inc rope!"
"Faith, sorr," replied the boy, "0i
wouldn't come if ye offered me two
dozen."=Harper's Young People.
Deep Water Conference.
"You are not a real fish: yon are only
an imitation," snit] the hying fish. "Yost
can stay 01100)• water 0013' au boor or
two, and then you have to come to the
surface to breathe."
"That's all right," retorted the whale.
"Yon are only an Imitation bird. 1 can
li'c'e under the water loll;'er than yeti
can live otlt of ft."
This, dear children, teaches us that
those who dwell to water sboelcl not
try to put on airs.
Atimeworn iiYtled,
"Absentmindedness Is a bad thing in
business," said the fat man,
"Ain't it, thongb?" responded the
lean man.
",lust look at me, for instance. I
went and lost one of my hest custorli
ers last week by addressing a letter tc,
him as '.Hobo Tlhenry Lloyd.' "--In,
dlitnapolis Press.
With dVII 1viug a *Tv ror.
Ono particularly amusing in( 'den :
characterized Congressman 1:•' cn
early experience at the lila'. P'or sonic
reason it beet110)' nee0T(1•al'y 10 1't.11(.<t.
a continuance in it ('ase in O'lticll ;P.
was counsel. After Mr. Burton 'had
explained why there should he :r eete-
tiunnnce the ('011T•t sari InFiI sits;l)ly r:.
tt'itIldl'at1' a jul'Ul' ndui the (else w::;t
be marked continued. For the Ira: 1)'::)
the young attorney was nonplused,
but after glancing at the court to mitt!..
fy tiitaselt' that the judge was in earn-
est' he ,walked aver to the jery hex,
eyed the jurors for an instant and thd'e,.
firnYly seized a large. portly timers.
and endeavored with no flute effort to,
drag him out of the jury hex. In the -
midst
1
,
utidst of the general Inrush which fol-
lowed, the court (lune to the reseal, ,.t
the (discomfited young parrlster by er-
' plahaing that the term was simply -
technical and need only be written 001
the (locket.
)(Meet of Pafcrl(al Example,,
Mr. Tucker, who sometimes goose
grinning, was tying to teach 'Tohltn;,
the meaning of the word "byline" nee,
applies] to game.
"Nosy, Tommy," he &aid, "if peel
should go limiting and 11111'20 phe s
ants, for instance, how malty stoup„
yon say you had bagged?" •
"hifty," replied Tommy. — Chictig(
Tribune,
Improving 1118'riine.
"So you were in Paris?"
"Tess" answered-:i'ir. Cumrox "\tr±t,
C. and the girls wanted to go,"
"Did 500 visit all the points of alts
te)'est?"
"1 should say so. We went to bore.
places in a week than the could lemt:ila`,
to ronounce the names of to et*