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The Herald, 1900-08-17, Page 6111 l 6'l I, ,, i':La er STEP IN SW1 'ZE . x Mr. Bryan declares that;the is^stto D. of the Presidential campaign.. is The. United States Consul at St. greater than the money; question. In this the Democratic candidate shops s his wisdom, and it is no doubt a wisdom honestly acquired by ex- perience, not assumed to meet the exigencies of the situation. ctll, Siwitzerla.nct, underdata of 31ttly5, 'writes se follows : F �At the . invitation of Count Zopp- o1in, Iwas present at the trial aseen- of his air ship on the afternoon of July 2 at ManZe11, on Lake Con- stance, • ('At,7 o'clock the great ship, 407 feet- long and 39 feet in liameter, containing 17 separate bailloen corn - St. Petersburg has introduced to an eye infirmary a syistom of ex - Mansion by which a, trained oculist goes among the peasantry to give partinents filled with hydrogen gas, treatineTnt and advice wherever he was drawn but of the balloon house ' finds it needed. There is a IMMO- was moored to the float. In 20 minutes all was ready for the ascent and the -ship left its moorings, with anent on foot to extend the system to other special lines of practice. • The demand for cheapness has de - Count Zeppelin in charge of one of 1 veloped a new danger. The plain, the gondolas and Mr. Eugene Wolf, I ordinary domestic pin is now made the famous explorer, in charge of `far more brittle than a needle, and the other, while Baron Bassus' a pin -prick can no longer be regard - accompanied the party as meteorol- ogist.. At the moment of the ascent the wind was blowing at the :rate of about 20 feet per second, giving the operators a giiocl opportunity of testing the ability of the air wheels to propel the great ship against the wind. , "The cigar -shaped structure a- scended slowly and gracefully to about 30 feet above the raft. The balances were adjusted so as to give the ship an ascending direction. The propellers were set in motion, and the air ship, which has cost considerably over $200,000, started easily on its interesting trial trip. At first, the ship moved east against the wind for about two miles, race - fully turned at an elevation of about 400 feet, and making a rapid sail to the westward for about five•ntiles, reached an altitude of 1300 feet. ed as merely an annoyance. The modern variety of pin is aipt to leave its point in the flesh, to travel a- round and occasion no enol of trouble The pin that breaks should be re- jected before it becomes too com- mon. The death of Mr.G. D. Wilson, of The Brandon Sun will be deeply re- g retotl by the journalists of the old- er provinces. Mr. Wilson was Pres- ident of the Western Press Associ- ation, and enly a few weeks ago was in Toronto with the western press excursionists.Ile was a man of excellent ability and of exceptional popularity with his associates, and. his death prematurely closes a. ca- reer that gave inch promise of in- fluence and usefulness. --- Lord Roberts will probably be It was then turned and headed once strong. enough and humane enough to resist the jingoes in London who are calling for "sterner measures" for the termination of the war in South Africa. The Boers' fight for independanoe may be foolish and hopeless, but that does not make it criminal. Of course, where there "The time of the trip was about is actual crime itmust be punished. 50 minutiae; ; distance traveled, but the mere' continuance of resist - about 10 miles ; fastest time matte, ante would not warrant the de - 5 utiles in 17 minutes ; highest struction of farm houses and other more east, and after traveling about a mile against the wind, blowing at the rate of 29 feet per second, suddenly stopped ; floating slowly backwards, three miles to the west; it sank into the lake, the gondolas resting* safely upon the water. •, _., ... A. a'rinioNn.d.'ri.t�{t{I ..___. `'i'he eelebt.ited Mane rt i e prison fur- niehes an important scene in Stunkie- i1 icz's story, "Quo Vadis." ldt is locat- ed on the slope of the Capitoline. In Roane, and, according to tradition, it was begun by Ancus Martins and later enlarged by Servins Tullius. Jugurtha Is said to have been starved to death here, the accomplices of Catiline stran- gled by command of Cicero and Seja- nus, the minister and favorite of Tibe- rius, execntAL Church tradition has Consecrated this prison /IS the place where St. Peter and St. Paul were con- fined by order of Nero. historian Hil- lard says of it: "The Manlertine prison is a hideous Vault divided into an upper and lower portion scooped out of the solid rock and lined with massive blocks in the Etruscan style of architecture. A more heartbreaking place of confinement it is not easy, to imagine. According to the traditions of the church, St. Peter was imprisoned here by order of Nero, and the pillar to which he was bound and a fountain which sprang up mirac- ulously to furnish the water of baptism to his jailer's. whom he converted, arca shown to the visitor. There is no rea- son to doubt that Tugurtha was starv- ed to death in these pitiless vaults. Here, too, the companions of Cntiline were strangled. It is a curious fact that the chances of literature and his- tory should have carved two such names as those of Sal]ust and Cicero on these Cyclopean walls." Not Piety, but Porn:. The following bit of nonconformist licher is taken from "The Earring - dons." an English romance. The spi'ak- ers are Mrs. Bateson and Mrs. Han- key. worthy wives, but not altogether above feeling a certain pleasure in showing up the ways of beslTtlnds: "They've no sense, men haven't," snid Mrs. Hankey; "that's what's the matter with them." vert to go under the water was an old "You never snoke a truer word. Mrs. colored woman, who all the while had Hankey," replied Mrs. Bateson. "The eery best of them don't properly know the difference between their souls and their stomachs, and they fancy they are a -wrestling with their doubts when really it is their dinner's that are a -wrestling with thein. "Now. take Bateson hisself," contin- ued Mrs. Bateson. "A kinder husband or better Methodist never drew breath, ' meats, clung to a "foot log" just as the yet so sure as he touches a b•it of pork parson who had recently baptized her he begins to worry 1llsself about the rode up. doctrine of election till there's no liv Ho beard her swearing at the retrac- ing with 1tim. And then ht''11 sit in the tory mule in vigorous teems then, take front parlor and engage in prayer for in; her in his own buggy and driving to dry land. he said: hours ate a n,' eS till 1 to as "'Sister' Celine you Inez done los' all " `Bateson,' sty's f, 'I'd be ashamed to go troubling the Lord with a pray'e'r de salvation what male ter you by de fust . bapti'In; so you must' stop right revolution of the propellers, 900 per acts advocated by the stern gentle- when a pinch of carbonate of ,oda fust en tf baptized over er in:' minute ; highest possible revolution j men of the clubs and music halls. wound set things straight again!' " p erg in." Three men appeared before a. Judge In Ronan, China, and each laid claim to the same woman as. his Wife. Not' one of thein would retire in favor of the other two, but each Insisted that. justice should be done to hila. Finally the judge exclaimed, "Well, if you three men cannot come to some agree- ment nothing remains for me but to order that the woman shall be killed, as there Is no other way In which the matter eau be satisfactorily settled." Ile then 0ltlle(1 for a huge cup of twine, and when it was brought he poured in- to it some dark powder end compelled the woman to drink it. Excited as she was, the woman speedily began to feel the effect of the strong liquor. She stammered when she tried to speak, and ber flushed cheeks were an indigos tion to the observers that the poison was working and that her end was n it' you+ deposit money iu a bank andl leave it there for over sis Years tivltla out adding to it; drawing on it or Ileal -}i lug with it in any way, it conies nudes the statute of limitations and Is lost to. �t you'forevcr. Suppose you bought a gold ring and, without saying anything about pay- ments or delivery you turned round to examine a, clock and a magpie flew in. and carried off the ring It would b(µ your loss. You would have to pay tilt: jeweler, while he need not •give guns' another ring.. If you bought a horse' and said you would call for hila in the, evening and if the stables were burned. et and the horse destroyed ,before yo'r. as called, you would have to ear the eon' net sequences. Bet if anything reintsta .'7l tits; to be done to the property puri:lt; yd ail, the seller would be responsible. pose he undertook to gut a nail iu tbe3''. ear at hand. horse's shoe or suppose the ,inise le This was the climax for which the said he would polish up the ring; tl , r 1 judge bad waited. 'When be saw that the woman was apparently dying, he called one of the three men who claim, ed her as wife and bade him remove her from the courtroom. This man, however, showed no inclination to do so, and the judge thereupon insisted that he renounce all rights to her. This he willingly did and so diel the second man. Only one claimant was now left, and he agreed to remove the woman and to care for her until she died. Sat- isfied that he was her real husband, the judge called kiln and said: "You will not be sorry for acting in this . He Prayed Bard. An old man in Georgia named ,Tack' Baldwin, having lost Ills bat in an old• dry well one day, hitched a rope to a. stump and let himself (1own. A wicked wag named Neal came along just then and, quietly detaching a bell trona Baldwin's old blind horse, approached. the well bell in hand and began to ting - lin • ing- ling Jack thought the old horse was com- ing and said: "hang the old blind horse! Ile's coining this way sure, and be ain't got no more sense than to fall in on Inc. Whoa, Bali!" The sound came closer. "Great ,Jerusalem, the old blind fool will be right on top of me in a minit! Whoa, Ball! Whoa, haw, Ball!" Neal kicked a little dirt on Jack's head, and .Jack begail to -pray: "011, Lord, have mercy oti—whoa, Ball!—a poor Sinner— I'm gone sow; whoa. Ball. Our father who art in -- whoa, Iial11— hallowed be the- -- gee, Ball, gee! what'll I do?—noose. Now I. lay me clown to sl—gee, hall!" Just then in fell more dirt. "Off, Lord, if you ever intend to do anything for ole —back, Ball! wheal— tiny kingdom Colne --gee, Ball! Oh, Lord, you know I was baptized fn Smith's mill dant— whoa, Ball! bo! up! murder! whoa!" Neal could hold in no lunger and shouted a laugh which might have been heard twe miles, Willett -,vas about as far as .Tack chased hill when he got out. the loss would fall on him, not you. If you wrote from London to a nl!1!t l In Bristol offering to sell him a cargos of wheat at :ie shillings a quarter aud' he wrote a letter accepting your offer and posted it the sante clay, the con- tract would be completed. Suppose.. now, the letter got lost, you col.0 lucier,i that he was not going to buy and you sold the cargo to 801110 one else, yo.) would be liable for damages to the first: bnyer, and the worst of it is you could' get nothing out of the postmaster gen- eral.—London Answers. manner. ]lave no fear for your wife, since she is in no danger of death. The liquor which she has drunk was ordi- nary wine, and the powder which 1 poured into it was nothing but brown sugar.' She'd Had Enough. There was a colored baptizing at Sandy Bottom. Bi1lrille. The last con - been seated in a rickety buggy drawn I;y an Ancient mule who had been trough the civil war. She came up out of the water all right. but after proceeding a short dis- tance on her way hone the mule be- came unmanageable and upset the bug- gy u --gy in the middle of a deep creek. Tile old woman, with clreuched gar - 1,200. The cause of the sudden stoppage .n the „ 1 - , • g ? flight of the ship was occasioned by a slight mishap I to the steering apparatus, but the' colossus floated gently with the wind. until it settled upon the sue., face ofthe lake without taking any Iwilier. The raft was then brought up, and the ship was easily placed upon it and brought back to the balloon hone. The weight is 200 centners • (22,000 lb.). The cost of filling the balloon with hydrogen gas was S2,000." A Doctor's Letter. A well known M. P. tells an amusing story of an old aunt of his. Being on one occasion vera' nervous, she told her physician she thought Bath would do her good. "It's very odd," said Dr. W., "but that's the very thing that I was going to recommend to you. i will write the particulars of your 011110 to a. very \„ 1ety- er man there, in whose hands you will - be well taken care of." The lady, furnished with the letter. set Off. On arriving at Bath, feeling, as usual,. very nervous, she said to a con- fidant: — ---- "Long as Dr. Walter bas attended •Ahl' UNSUITABLE. ALLEGORY. me he has never explained to me what ails me. I have a great mind to open his letter and see what he has stated A company in the United States lurch_ of my case to the Bath physician." making a line of agricultural inerywas anxious to extend. its ex- In vain her friend represented to her Dort trade in reapers and mowers, the breach of confidence this would be. and \vas acv ised. that a market cx_ She opened the letter and read: istecl %n Germany. It was an cslter_ Dear Davis—Beep the old lady three weeks and send her back again. prising < it., first tad liberal advertiser. and —London Tit -Bits. idea wail to flood Geruiitny- i "No, soli!" was the reply. "I ain't Machine Made Jokes. gwine In dat water no mo'! Didn't dat Some time ago a fellow got up a 1 ole mule baptize me de seeon' time?" - little book giving hints on how to he funny. Copies of this hook are evi- dently in common use by the funny men connected with many of our news- papers. Witness this specimen joke attributed to a Chicago paper: IIe—Wbo is that ugly old woman Over there by the piano? Abe -0h,, that's Mme. Cosmetique, the famous beauty specialist. The book tells just how to make this class of jokes in bulk. The same idea I will do for a whole batch. "He" asks: 1 "'Who is that baldheaded than?" "She" answers: "That is IJr. Quacknostrum, the hair Renewer ulan." Again, "Ile" I asks: "What is tate matter with those crying brats?" And "She" responds: "'i'ileir mother has gone to lecture on the training of cbildren." Once you .catch the idea you 0:111 produce tunny things of this kind automatically, and if you are a funny roan on 0. news- paper :your readers will laugh every time and other papers will quote your jokes and give your paper credit for with tulvertisin, picture, which. A Profitable Deposit. thein,—Pathfinder. woulclbc hung uta in stores and shop I remember the case of an old lady at windows, and which could not fail E. who usually bad from £13.000 to to attract attention. The design, £15.000 standing to her credit, and, which was executed in the highest needless to say, as she did nor ask for style of eolor lithography, repro- any interest thereupon, none was al - welted amowing machine driven by towed her. The manager whenever the Goddess of Liberty in shining she entered the office was always most and. • polychromatic garments of particular to step forward and inquire one nuc c Hewn bv a mos en er Y eOncerning to state of scanty propelt 1 1 t t d l the team of Bengal tigers. It was a her health, and if she replied tbat she brilliant 1)1011(1. Any American was suffering from a slight colt] the country storeke .;ctr wouhl gladly expression upon the man's face grew have hung it up for its decorativo quite ,sad. No wonder, when he re- value, and the average Amcrienn membered that even a slight cold ]night farmer would have been greatly im- carry off an old lady who was hauling preseed by it, and would probably his company at least £300 a year.— have uncicrsstooe its sombolis)n "IIow to Deal With Your Banker, by without any explanation. The net henry warren. result of the effort to circulate it in Germany, however, was 0 letter from the company's agent in that country, from which the following extract is made : "The picture of your admirable machine, of which I the receipt of 10,000 acknowledge, is not, useful in this cotvitry, and it is of much re- grot to me that I regm'st to return them permission. The women of our country, when py eircnins ta.n cos to do agricultural work compell 0(1, do not (tress as your picture shows is the cttstciin in your woncl- erfui country, and would. not elven deem such garments with im)dcsty to consist. Also we (10 not tigers for draught purposes cultivate, they not being to the country native, nor in our experience for men work well stilted. I have to my eusto- fuer. ss explained with earnestness that your piettue is a "sinnbild" (allegory)' and does not mean that your admirable machine should. be operated by women too little cloth- ed, nor is it ncossary that the place of horses shol be animals from the Zoogischeral Garton be taken. I - cannot nee them as you instruct and your fterther advices respect fully await.,," There will be general. elections in Great Britain, in Canada and in the TJxiited, Suites ixs the next .fens months s The Bibulous Dane. 'When the police in Dcunlark find a man helplessly drumk in the streets, they drive the patient in a cab to the station. where he sobers off. Then they take flim home. The cabman makes his charge, the police doctor makes his, the agents make their claim for special duty, and this bill is pre- pented to the landlord of the estab- lishment where the drunkard took the last glass that dict the business. No .tvontler that certain landlords protest, saying that proofs are insuIIieient and that some alleged victims sham intoxi- cation to get into trouble landlords against whom they have a spite. 1)rarights as an Education. There Is no game extant which so admirably cotnbines educational and recreative features or which is in every way so well adapted for a popular and profitable amusement among refined and appreciative elasses as draughts. Its influences are of an elevating char- acter. It not only teaches, but prac- tically enforces, the necessity of pa- tience and perseverance, courage and courtesy, self reliance and self control. The game is also peculiarly and self evidently worthy of paternal encour- agement, as a knowledge of its incom- parable beauties will destroy the taste I for demoralizing gnmes of chance.— Scottish American. Yvby Be Rend It. "Have you read Borus' latest book, Moiled Brains?' "I thought you didn't like I3orue style." ?, "I don't." "What did you read his book for?" "Because I knew some blamed fool V 0t11c1 1'e sore to tisk me if I had read The record for Ceylon snipe shooting affil remains that of the muzzle loader, 100 couples In one day., This record was made by a Ceylon eivi1 servant called Tranellell early in the nineteerskie century, Average Ulunei% get ael to: 4 » sovlgles (4 dart. The Point of View. "Get a divorce if yotl want it!" ex- claimed the angry husband. "I can eneily get another wife, and I've lived long enough to learn that one woman is just as good as another—if not bet- ter!" "Yes," calmly replied his better half, "and I've lived long enough to know that one man is just se bad as another —if not worse." - Enlightened. Professor—I'm grateful for my sense of humor. Thank heaven, I can al- ways see a joke. Miss Flavilla—Oh, professor, the sense of humor is not ability to see a joke. The sense of homer Is 'tbrlit ' to take a joke.- A. oke.A. Political hosts. "They say you are merely a political boss." said the candid informant. "Great Scott!" '' ejaculated Senator Sorghum. "The °irreverence of these moderns is sotnothing disheartening. Why, that's all Julius Cinsar was."— Washington Star Sailors call a, Iow lying Iceberg it growler, and the world "tvottltl in ,gen- eral suggest something cool were it not for bulldogs and London four wheel cabs, to Which ft is also applied. Nearly £800,000 'worth of articles are pa'ovned 3 reap p "vg d Tr1 d , ,. . A Curious *ood Carving. Salem. 11Iass.. is the home of the East India Marine hall, which contains col- lections of the Essex institute and of the East India Marine society. The scientific cabinets of the Essex insti- tute are extensive and well arranged, and the collections of the Marine soci- ety include many curiosities from ori- ental countries and other distant na- tions. Among tate nulnerous curiosities is a piece of Wood carving in the form of two hemispheres 1142 11101100 in diame- ter, in the concavities of which are carved representations on the one beul- !sphere of heaven and on the other of hell. There are 110 full length figures in the carving, and the whole is very skillfully executed. It is said to be the work of an Indian monk of the fourteenth century. 11 ort in 011 clip vl th 1Cd lie• ala 11) for pre ,vr a. to: en .f a: i. 1 ay 91i Il! 0) •t 10 '0) le :o O1 LU tri cr. 00 to se: th 'tc Ss; It 111 0' \'I 1114 pt g( 11': ht. ('0 t1 1114 Iw la tt 11 1t In tl ei iT Bluffs In the Directory. If you pick Up that interesting 0.111.11. al, the city directory, you will find it filled with bluffs. Isere is a ratan down as 10 superintendent. Yeu knob h( only the foreman of a labor'*r'.'t•tig. .1!'' other is designated as a general 1nanas ger. Three or four tutu are subject to his "general" management. or, as his 5 -year -old -sou, who inherited bis pro- pensity to bluff, put it, "he's the head man of three other Fellows." Over on title page is another ells, who Is given as the political editor of a newspaper of some political importance. Don't.: believe it. He's merely a reporter as- i signed to gather political news, and ev- erything he writes Is carefully "edited" .1 by another elan with a title of dnucly. ; 'I.1 1 it it t less inlp((rtanee, tat man ( own 111, Smart ,',les, the book as a merchant sells :thee - ,A. man being About to (lie summoned ; strings and collar buttons in a maths. his four Sons to his side and said: + hole between two buildings macre avail, • able when an alley fell Into disuse. "My sons, 1 will leave to .John one- • "Mine. ]3lanque, modiste," is merely - to of my estate. to :ilex one-fifth. i Mrs i3lenk, dressmaker, making a to Jame one-half and to Thomas one French viva for which S110 eelie0ls aft - fourth, noel thus you will all Share Equally." er the cutting out and fitting are dune. John and James and Thomas took But what is the use of pirlcing thea:. out? TUe dlrertu 7 is filled with them., —Pittsburg Press. Paper and Pencil and began figuring, but Alex took his ilat and started out. "Where are you going?" the other Three asked. "Do you not Intend fig- uring out the I'r'obletn?" "Not much," said Alex. "I am Going for a Lnwyer to break the Will." Moral—Sometimes the Lawyer Call Relieve the IIelve of ylnch of the Fig• nring. Idle. but Bitty. He was an Idle Dish boy, bet be had the Celtic wit. He Mel shipped on board of a man-of-war, where be an- noyed the boatswain by his laciness. Seeing him on the maintop one morn- ing gazing idly oat to sett, the boat- swain called out to him: "Come down out of that, ye rasheail Come down out of that. and 01'11 give yea dozen whacks wicl inc rope!" "Faith, sorr," replied the boy, "0i wouldn't come if ye offered me two dozen."=Harper's Young People. Deep Water Conference. "You are not a real fish: yon are only an imitation," snit] the hying fish. "Yost can stay 01100)• water 0013' au boor or two, and then you have to come to the surface to breathe." "That's all right," retorted the whale. "Yon are only an Imitation bird. 1 can li'c'e under the water loll;'er than yeti can live otlt of ft." This, dear children, teaches us that those who dwell to water sboelcl not try to put on airs. Atimeworn iiYtled, "Absentmindedness Is a bad thing in business," said the fat man, "Ain't it, thongb?" responded the lean man. ",lust look at me, for instance. I went and lost one of my hest custorli ers last week by addressing a letter tc, him as '.Hobo Tlhenry Lloyd.' "--In, dlitnapolis Press. With dVII 1viug a *Tv ror. Ono particularly amusing in( 'den : characterized Congressman 1:•' cn early experience at the lila'. P'or sonic reason it beet110)' nee0T(1•al'y 10 1't.11(.<t. a continuance in it ('ase in O'lticll ;P. was counsel. After Mr. Burton 'had explained why there should he :r eete- tiunnnce the ('011T•t sari InFiI sits;l)ly r:. tt'itIldl'at1' a jul'Ul' ndui the (else w::;t be marked continued. For the Ira: 1)'::) the young attorney was nonplused, but after glancing at the court to mitt!.. fy tiitaselt' that the judge was in earn- est' he ,walked aver to the jery hex, eyed the jurors for an instant and thd'e,. firnYly seized a large. portly timers. and endeavored with no flute effort to, drag him out of the jury hex. In the - midst 1 , utidst of the general Inrush which fol- lowed, the court (lune to the reseal, ,.t the (discomfited young parrlster by er- ' plahaing that the term was simply - technical and need only be written 001 the (locket. )(Meet of Pafcrl(al Example,, Mr. Tucker, who sometimes goose grinning, was tying to teach 'Tohltn;, the meaning of the word "byline" nee, applies] to game. "Nosy, Tommy," he &aid, "if peel should go limiting and 11111'20 phe s ants, for instance, how malty stoup„ yon say you had bagged?" • "hifty," replied Tommy. — Chictig( Tribune, Improving 1118'riine. "So you were in Paris?" "Tess" answered-:i'ir. Cumrox "\tr±t, C. and the girls wanted to go," "Did 500 visit all the points of alts te)'est?" "1 should say so. We went to bore. places in a week than the could lemt:ila`, to ronounce the names of to et*