The Herald, 1908-12-24, Page 6Ys
E
TIC
DOES YOU NO GOOD
Half the time you're afraid to eat;
Your tongue is coated, Mouth tastes bad,
stomach le bloated. If you want to get
well, etup using dyspepsia tablets, and
go to tire' -source of the trouble before
it is' too late. Strengthen your stoma.:it,
cast a„t the bne, regulate the bowels.—
do tier and dyspepsia will be no more.
Por ;vena condition the best prescrip-
tion Dr. Hamilton', fills, which are
Made ,epeeially for the stomach, kidneys
and liver, no better remedy will be de-
vised, for Dr. Hamilton's Pills are per -
feet,
Dr. Hamilt01.19S Pills
A SURE CURE
"No one could realize my sufferings
from stomach. trouble and indigestion.
For five years I have not been well. My
food slid -.rue no good, because I couldn't
digest or assimilate. My doctor said
constipation was at the root of my
trouble, so I got Dr. Hamilton's fills.
My appetite improved, pain after eating
eeaeed. and My food digested quickly. I
am delighted with the thorough cure
1 derived from Dr. Hamilton's Pills. -
(signed) MARTIN E. WA,T2i.ER. •
"Bridgewater.”
rtt;i k results attend the use of Dr.
Harniltun's Pills; this medicine cures all
trouble in the stomach and digestive or-
gana by removing the cause.
A Look Ahead.
In clue process of time the battleship
had reached the utmost limit of its de-
veloprnen7.
Likewise the manufacturers of deadly
expli;eivee had perfected machines cap-
able of blowing a whole fleet out of wat-
er at ant• imaginable distance.
In great haste the powers summoned a
oonferenee•
"What's the use of carrying the thing
any farther?" said they. "War has be-
come so appalling and expensive that
we can't afford to indulge iu it any
more."
Seeing that the jig was up they reluc-
tantly inaugurated the era of universal
peace. Chicago Tribune.
THE
S AND
GASOLINE
ENGINES
L.® O N
'S'IF30�►1..
Is the only Gasoline Engine that you can try
before you buy. I know what the "Chasm-
pion"
Champion" will do, and I want you to be 'fully
satisfied with it before you pay for it. The
)rico is low. Full particulars tree.
Wm. Gillespie, 98 Front St. E.,TORONTO
Concerning the Ammunition.
The melancholy visitor peered about
the grocery store.
"You keep the only commercial em-
porium in the place, do you not?" he
asked of the proprietor.
"I do. What eau I do for yeh?"
"Sell me all the stale eggs you have."
".Haw, haw! Must be going to the
show to -night."
"I am billed to play Hamlet in this
benighted village this evening," replied
the caller with dignity.—Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
4 0
TOBACCO HABIT
Dr. McTa„!;art's tobacco remedy removes all
desire for •tbe weed in a few days. A veg-
etable medicine., and only requires touching
the tongue with is occasionally. Price, pace
LIQUOR HABIT
Marvellous results from taking hie remedy
for the liquor habit. Safe and inexpensive
bonne treatment; no hypodermic injections,
no publicity. no loss of time from business,
and a cure certain.
Address or ooasutt Dr. McTagagrt, 76 Y onge
street, Toronto, Canada.
Easy Victim.
"You've got whiskers to burn,” was
the suggestive remark of the barber, as
be inspected the long, straggling beard
of the man in the chair.
"All right," said the customer, with a
sigh of resignation. "You can goahead
and singe 'em."
For he didn't know but the barber's
next suggestion might be that he make
burnsides of them.—Chicago Tribune.
9 `e
The plaintiff suggested that in sum-
mer eggs became stale "about a week
after they came to market," but the
judge declared that the real test of an
egg's staleness was the moment it be-
came fit for use at a contented election.
--London Evening Standard.
His Deaf Friend's Mistake.
"1 always hate to tei•1 a story," said a
well -]mown actor at a banquet, "beoauee
ni.y listeners nl'ay have heard it before.
What boredom that is for them, that
agony for nee! it is .like the ease or a
arien of mine. He is deaf, but tries to
.once=al his deal -nese. One night at a
dinner the host told a story at which
everybody roared, and. my dear friend
joined in and autroared the whole ta-
ble, though in truth he hadn't heard a
word.
"At. the end of the laughter lie held
up his hand as a sign that he wanted
to ,speak.
"'That story,' he began, `reiriinds me
of another—='
"And then the poor fellow went on
and told the very same yawn the hoot
had repeated only a minute before," --
Tit -Bits.
b r e
A Deelining Japanese Industry.
The forging of cimeter blades in Japan
was once a flourishing industry and the
workers formed a close aul powerful cor-
poration, But the industry has declined
for years, and only two makers are
left, Messrs,.Sonkyama and Myamoto. No
young Japanese has come forward to of-
fer himself no an apprentice, and the
question was referred to the Mikado
with a view of perpetuating the indus-
try.
The Mikado has come to the rescue
and leas founded two sehorarships of
£100 to induce two lade to offer them-
selves for initiation into the art and
mystery of making eimeter blades.—
Loudon Globe.
We are opening our own office in Win-
nipeg. The Underwood is now at home
In Halifax, St. John, N. B., Montreal,
Toronto. Hamilton, London, Winnipeg
and Edmonton., with agencies in all the
other cities.
UNITED TYPEWRITER CO.
LIMITED
9 Adelaide St. East - TORONTO
Fisherman's Luck.
There was once a comedian who went
out with a fishing party, and began to
suffer from thirst. One of the crowd
took pity on the sufferer and fastened a
bottle of beer to his fishing line while
he was on a. voyage of exploration.
When the actor returned be found his
line heavy, and started to haul in what
he thought was 'the biggest fish of the
day.
Gleeful over his changed luck, he
shouted tothe captain:
captain,' Ibis is the place. An-
eIler right here. "'We're sailing over a
brewery "-Tit-]3i•ts.
A Great Writer.
"What did he do?"
"Why, don't you know? Ile's the au-
thor of that immense sensational suc-
cess, 'Mollycoddles'"
"Yee, but what else did he ever
write?"
"Lots. 'Plow I Came to Write "Molly-
coddles.,"' 'Publishers Who Rejected
" Mollycoddles,"' 'How I Came Near Not
Writing "Mollycoddled,"' and—oh, a lot
of things like that. He's a great writer,"
---Cleveland Leader.
Minard's Liniment Cures Diphtheria.
Perils of Slang.
"You've got your nerve with you!"
said Flossie. "flet me for the first time
about two hours ago and you ask me
for a kiss. What do you size me up
for? 'Think I'm a Robert W. Chambers
heroine?"
'I don't know about that," said the
young man, "but if I don't get the kiss,
Flossie, it will be the first. time I've
failed."
"Never got the averted cheek before?"
"Never,"
"Well, you're up against it this time,
Percy. Take it from me."
There was a hurried scramble, and a
muffled scream: but he took it, all
righ t,
Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper.
Russian Eggs.
France hes always beena great pro-
ducer of poultry and eggs, but lately
millions of eggs have been imported
from other countries, especially for con-
sumption in Paris. Of these importa-
tions by far the largest proportion corns
from Russia. In 1007 about 0,000,000
pounds of Russian eggs were eaten in
Paris. Austria-Hungary in the same
year furnished only about 1,200,000
pounds, and other countries less. Among
these Egypt contributed 250,000 pomade.
;r
THE FAVORITES
U alb the Sphinx ! " _
THR MOST PERFECT MATCI,LS YOU EVER STRUCK
Always, everywhere in Canada, ask for Eddy's.Matcl><ar
MR. SMITH WAS NOT OUT,
What a Friend Discovered Upon Calling
Ua Hux1.
Bronzed by foreign seas, he entered
the ollicc of'his colleague, but the cash -
let's chair \Val Faoant,
«re Mr. Smith out?" he asked, anx-
iously. "1 ani an old friend of his.'
"No, sir," returned the clerk. "Mr.
Smith is not out. He won't be out for
tan years.' '
here the clerk smiled grimly..
"Th,e firm 15 onit, though," he went on;
"$]3000 e`taetly."
PIS':S CURED AT HO aiE BY
NEW ABSORPTION METHOD
If you suffer from bleeding, itching,
blind or protruding Piles, send 1ne your
address, and 'I will tell you how to cure
yourself at home by the new absorption
treatment; and will also send some of
this home treatment free for triad, with
references' from your own locality if
requested. Immediate relief and per-
manent cure assured. Send no money,
but tell others of this offer. Write to-
day to Mrs. 111. Summers, Box P. 8,.
Windsor, Ont.
... A Possible Reason.
Magistrate (to clergyman, summoned
for exceeding speed limit)—Well, you
say you were only going at eighteen
miles an hour, and the constable still
declares you were travelling at thirty.
Now, I don't like to doubt either of you.
Can you think why he declares you were
going at that rate? Is there any grudge
he owes you?
Clergyman—No, I can't think of any-
thing—unless, perhaps, it is that I
married hien three years ago.—London
Opinion.
The Joke Utterly Ruined.
"I bei your pardon," said the man at
the. ball, "but would you mind telling the
who that distressingly ugly woman is?
She's the awfullest fright I ever saw;
she dances like a cow, and site appears to
have 110 brains. Who is she?
"I'nt sorry," answered the other man,
"but I've got to spoil a stook joke. She
isn't niv wife—I never saw her before."
—Cleveland Leader.
3'linard's Liniment Co., Limited:
Gentlemen,—Last winter I received
great benefit from the use of MINARD'S
LINIMENT .in a severe attack of La
Grippe, and 1 have frequently proved it
to be very effective in. oases of Inflam-
mation
r"'s. Yours,
W. A. HITICHINSON.
A New Wonder,
A certain Irish police inspector was
reviewing an R. I. C. station, the ser-
geant of which was a very bad speller.
Looking through the books he same up-
on an entry "Found a pig wondering on
the public= road:"
"Sergeant," said. he, "what ems the
pig wondering at?"
I don't know, sir," said the bewilder-
ed man..
"Well," saia the inspector, grimly, "I
do. He must have been wondering why
1 promoted you," Exchange.
Minard's Liniment Cures Garget in cows,
Hanged Him First.
Joseph M. Patterson, Chicago's mil-
lionaire novelist, was discussing a judge
whom he believed to bo corrupt.
"The way he conducted that trial,"
said Mr. Patterson, bitterly, "reminds
me of the trial of Red -Face Leary, the
Tombstone horse thief.
"There was tremendous excitement in
Tombstone when Red -Face was captured.
A dozen men were hustled into the
poker roost of the Lone Dog and com-
manded to consider themselves a jury,
and to pass a verdict on the notorious
thief.
"The men went iuto the accusations
pretty thoroughly. Thera was no evi-
dence against Red -Face in this case. He
was a villainbut in strict justice they
must pronounce him innocent at this
time.
"After banging a long time on the
poker room door—the town was full of
noise and excitement—the jurymen were
let out. They found themselves in the
bar; amid a crowdof boisterous citizens.
• "'What's yer verdict, gents?" Judge
Townsend asked.
" 'Not guilty,' said the foreman.
"An ominous, growling sound arose.
Frowning glances were exchanged.
Bronzed hands fingered pistol butts ner-
vously,
"'Not guilty, eh?' said the judge. He
bit his laps and hesitated in a puzzled
way. Then he smiled and said
`Gents, you'll have to go back to the
poker roont and reconsider that utero
verdict o' yourn..'
`That's right! Back with 'em; the.
fools!' roared :the crowd.
"And the jury was thrust unceremoni-
ously back into the poker roorri, again.
"They knew now what was expected of
guiltysut, .and they soon came. forth and de -
glared that they found Red -Paco Leary
Me
"At this a murmur of relief passed
around the bar, and the judge said con-
tentedly.
"'Guilty, cit? 'Well, that's more like
it. Gentlemen, of the jury, you can now
disperse, We hanged the arisoner two
beers.at?o.' „ Cinci1l11 to i�ticluii'er.
S CURED
IN24HOURS
You can painlessly remove RAY oorn, elt.'er
bard, soft or bleeding, by applying Futunary's
Oorn .Extractor. it never )urns, leaven 110 scar,
contains no tides ; is harmless because composed
only of howling bums and balms, Flfty years in
use. Cure guaranteed. Sold by all druggists
25o. bottles. Refuse substitutes,
PUTNAM'S PAINLESS
CORN EXTRACTOR
New Orleans Cities of tits Dead.
• "New Orleans has several miniature
cities within its boundaries, and they
are the cities of the dead," said Louis
W. Le Blanc, of the Crescent City.
"I main," he explained, "that every
cemetery in New Orleans is a miniature
:ity. They are built above the ground
and laid out in streets, just as in the
larger city. Every house is of marble
and some of the tombs are miniature
cathedrals, temples and classic strum
tures. In them are buried many men
who won fame under the dominion of
,Spain and France. In then, too, are
to be fotmd inscriptions that tell of
sweet Creole romances, such as that of
Jeanne Laclede, the popular singer of
nearly a century ago, who died of a
broken heart.
"Certain flays are set apart according
to the old French Catholic custom for
visiting these miniature cities, and on
these days they are crowded' all day
long. As they were built so long ago
they are now in the centre of the city,
and at night look weird indeed. Long
ago it was found necessary to build the
cemeteries above the ground, because of
the fact that the city itself is below the
level of the Mississippi Riven—Washing,-
ton Post.
Pale, weak and nervous
people need a tonic that
will build them up and
make them well and
strong. Celery Ring le
the tonic that will do
these things. Largo
re
ou
9
Thin
package 25 cents, at deal- 318
ers or by mail. S. C. Wells & Co., Toronto.
Forced Draught Realism.
"How 'is it that Scribbler's novels
thrill with such vital, gripping, realistic
portrayal of human passions?": asked
Danks.
"Well," said Hanks, "when he gets
ready to write a novel, he orders a. gen-
eral housecleaning, sends, for the plumb-
er to fix the gas jets,.and for the tinner
to fix the stove pipes, bids itis little
daughter to stay at . home to practice
five finger exercises,' hires: a street piano
to play German, Irish and Italian na-
tional airs in front of the lxotise, and
tells his wife that her family is not as
good as his own. Then he sits and
takes notes of what happens."—Brook-
lyn Life,
1*
Minard's Liniment Cures Colds, etc.
HOLING OUT IN ONE,
Golfers' Ambition—Club That Offers
Reward for the Feat.
The legitimate amibtion of every golf-
er --short of winning the open champion-
ship—is to hole out in one, that is to
drive the ball from the tee into the hole
nil tae putting green la at single stroke.
Mr. Stuart Anderson, a prominent
member of the Portrusb Club, has achiev-
ed this disti etion 011 AAO less than seven
separate occasions—twice at North Ber-
wick and !wage at Aberdeen. A good
many professionals, however, have holed
out in one on two occasions, and an
amateur,.T. Ireland has actually manag-
ed to do so twice in the same round.
By the way, it may not be generally
known that under certain eircusnstanew
something more than mere honor and
glory attaches to the accomplishment of
this feat. Thus if it is achieved at
what is known as the island hole of 'the
Royal Ashdown Forest Club during the
progress of a quarterly competition the'.
secretary is empowered to present the..
fortunate player with a zti note. The:
funds for the purpose of meeting this
demand upon the club's resouree3 are
obtained from an• endowment presented
by a wealthy member. So tier, however,
and despite the - keen struggle it entails,
nobody has yet qualified for the award.
Luck, as will readily be understood, is
a factor that enters very largely into
golf. Perhaps the most notable case on
record is that of Jamie Anderson, when
competing for the ohampion.shitp at
Prestwick in 1878. Be had just teed
his ball for the seventeenth drive when
a
little girl stend ng among the specta-
tors remarked that he had unconsciously
placed it just :in front of the proper litre.
Although nobody else had noticed the
fact,•this proved on examination by the
referee to he cornet.
4/Thereupon Anderson teed his ball
again in a fresh position well lkhiiid the
line and Made a drive which landed hire
in the hole and eventually enabled hint
to win the match. If, however, l;.s lead
played it from the oil) ileal arot he
would have been pen thrr d a stroke a.nd
have lost the ehttmpion.ilua. Clearly then
Luck on the links is something to be tak-
en into consideration whatever non -be-
lievers may say to the•erintrary.—.l3ai-
ley's Magazine.
•_ f.5
Mine Workers in India.
'l`he chief inspeetor of mines in That
steles that the average number of mi-
ners working inidereermed during the
pest year was )2RM 7 This average was
made up 01' males,. oi.1151; fetnales, 20,.
583; and ehi:dren,
LSSUg No. 52, 1905
HELP WANTED,
iilU'I'IO S:12EN AND 'WOM1SN, WORK
weenie, ware tLme oopying and checking
our adi,oridslwg material. Good pay, open
weekly; reliable, send. stamp. Dept. C., Simi,
let 1411g, C., London, Ont.
f I l VA5$12itS wANTIon TO SIGLL TDA,
etc.• to the best females. Allred Tyler,'
London, Ont.
FON SALE.
MODERN HOTEL FOR. SALE.
rg s 1I39 MOST REASONABLE PROPOSITION
S ever offered—a golden opportunity to
0trrt5taso a modern hotel in the most prosper-
ous town in Sasieatchewsux, an the Soo line;
makes an annual profit of twenty thousand.
It will reuuire twenty-five •thousand gash to
handle it. iteamone for seleing purely domes-
tic, will consider smaltier hotel in exchange
as part payment, W. T. McKenzie, Royal ho-
tel, Weyburn, Sash,
ATE= FOR SALE. CTAS BURNER
saves gas, Intense I>'eat burners for
stoves, ireetere and furnaces. F. G. Crone,
49 Ectad! TJtdea street, Buffalo.
FOR SALE—D xTnOsT DRUG STOCK. ANI)
flxtunee; new, modern.budlddng; eetab
llsihed; 125 daily sales; exceptional opportun-
1ty disaareeu.eat of partner% Address quiok-
lY, Druggist, ;23626th street, Detroit, Mloh.
150 OLD TiM SQNCS
Words and li1tns;ic Complete
110 COMIC rtatCITXTIONS, TITS PRACTIC-
AL P ULT.1 Y REEFER. 10 cents each or
3 for 2C, ;tints bald our Catalogue of 400 Book
Bargaziits Pleat,
The R. O. SMITE CO., Dept. A., Orillia, Ont.
FARMS FOE SALE.
1 S ACRES—NEAR ST. CATHARINlSS•—
suitable for mixed harming and fruit;
elG:bt acres grapes, in full bearing. Appb'
Chas. Welstoad, Homer, Ont.
illuminated Projectiles.
The French navy has recently begun
experiments with luminous shells em-
ployed for a year past in America. These
shells have a hollow in the rear end,
coutainfng fireworks powder, which
is inflamed as the shell quits the gun,
and leaves a luminous trail in the air,
enabling the gunner at night to follow
the course of his projectile and deter -
min reaches its ob-
ject.
whether or not
it
ject. Without some device of this kind
it is very difficult in firing over the
sea in the darkness to ascertain wheth-
er the range is too long or too short. In
the daytime a jet of water where the
shell falls, tells the story.
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to cure any
CASA 02 Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding
Piles in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. 60e.
m -•
Contradictory.
London, Nov. 14.—A despatoh received
here this evening from the correspondent
a1 Pekin, of the Reuter Telegram Co.,
says:
"The Emperor of China died. the night
of Nov- 10th."
Pekin, Nov. 14.—(5 p. m.) The report
of esterday that the Dowager Empress
of "China was mortally i11 was to -day
,confirmed by the Foreign Board of the
government.
It is reported that at 3 o'clock this
afternoon bhe Emperor was so low that
his death was regarded as imminent.
ee
One of the Victims.
Mrs. Flitterby I can't see, for the life
of me, that bridge whist is such a terri-
ble dissipation. Did you ever know it to
drive anybody crazy?
Mrs. Homer—Why, yes. It's driving
Mrs. Kardleigh's husband crazy.
•
n'5
'Chis woman says she was saved
from an operation by Lydia E.
I'iiilikharrA's'Vegetable Compound.
Mrs. Frank Emsie Lindsay,
Ontario, writes to Mrs. Pird-
" When. 1 wrote to you some time
ago, I comas a, very sick woman suffering
from female troubles, I had inflamma-
tion of the feininine organs and could
not stand or walk any distance. At
last I was cotif]ned to my bed and the
doctor said I would have to go through
an operation, but this I refused to do. -
Afriend advised Lydia E. Pinlrham's
Vegetable Compounl. After using
three bottles of it,'I feel like a noir
woman.
" I most heartily recommend Lydia E.
Pinlcham's Vegetable Compound to all
women who suffer with female
troubles."
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pink -
ham's Vegetable Compound, xnade
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills
and has positively cured thousands of
women -who have been troubled with
displacements inflammation, ulcera-
tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic. pains, backache, thatt bear-
ing -down feeling, fiatuleney,indiges-
tion, d::ziness ornervous prostration.
Why don't yon try it?
1 s. Ph kham invited an side
women!!, to write her for advice.
She has �Jed thousands la
health, Addres, Lynn, NAM.