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The Wingham Advance Times, 1925-06-04, Page 6■■■■ ma ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ i■ ■ maimmaj ■ ■ ■ 1 ■ WINGHAI4 ADDVANCE.TI1VIES Thursday, June 4th„ x925. MODERN FIREMAN'S OUTFIT Fire-fighters in Berlin, Germany, have lately acquired one of the most novel costumes ever devised for their tasks. You see it pictured above. It consists of a complete set of water- proof overalls and gloves, a life belt f I deii't git l ere' iii toime, an I mushy hev me crass wurrud, puzzle answered be tin o'clock, arr War will shtart agin in the Balkans to-morry. Will ye come up on the verandah an hilp me," I sez. He looked sheared but carne wid me an • sat down in rne favorite aisy chair, makin me more . determined than ivir to take a roise out, av him, be purtindin I wus bugbouse, as nee bye who, wint oversays wud say. "Cud ye till me" sez I, av a wurrud wid foor letthers, an beginnin wid S, mainin soineting the winnnin use on wash days?" "Soap," sez he. "It won't do," sez I, "I troid that �befoor' "Soda," sez he. "Wrong agin," sez I, "The second letther musht be U, "Suds," sez he. "Correct," sez. I, "Shure,. 'tis the shmart bye, yeare intoiiely, an meb- by we kin shtop the war yit," I sez. "Cud ye till me ,now av a• wurrud, beginnin wid B., an wid foive letthers in it, mainin .a place to put yer mon- ey?" `Bonds," sez he boitin at the bare hook. .,,, "It won't fit "• sez I. "Hurry Up, arr the war will git shtarted," I sez, purtindin to git greatly ixcoited. ' "Banks," sez he, gittin up an shtar and a special helmet. The last •nam- ed is the chief feature of the novel outfit. For, from the crest of the helmet, water is spouted in a circle around the wearer—thus immeasur- ably protecting the firemen from burns while fighting a conflagration. TIM DISPOSES OF THEM Mo the Editur av the Advance-Toimes, Deer Sur, il Lasht wake I prawmisedto till ye me bould bye. "Hey?" sez I, wid me hand to me ear. "Yis, Hay," sez he, shpakin louder. "Are you Mishter Hay?" "..'how I thrimrned thein birruds who "Mishty day, yis; sez 1,, "but I tink wad kape corrin arround throyin to it will clare up befoor noon, wid the git out - Iv the missus the money her wind in the wesht." ould aunt lift her, an worryin her so "I am sellin slitocks, sez he, corrin that sbe. said she soinetoimes almosht shtraight to the pint. "No," sez I, "I havn't army' shtock to sell, as me bye is runnin the ould farrum. I mane the ,young lad who wint oversays.' Me other bye lives out in Alberta an wus too ould to in- lisht whin the war bruk out. I hev two dawters livin in Alberta too, both av thim married to good min. We git letthers from thim iviry wake, an sometoimes Katie wroites twoice a wake. Katie has two childer, but Nora only has wan yit. The girruls only live two moiles apart` an see ait- ch other often an 'kin talk over the tillyphone iviry day. Me ould bro- ther, Matt., who married the war wished her aunt hadn't doied at all, at all. I always loike to kape me 'wurrud, whin me mimory dussen't shlip a 'cog. 'Twas wan good quality av the ould'ginirashun av min; ye cud depind on theer wurrud, but I am sorry.I can't say as, much fer •the young shtock growin up now -a -days. Well, the nixt marnin I wus out wurrukin on the front lawn, arr pur- tindin to wurruk be noine o'clock, waitin fer me furslit victim. Purty soon I ,saw me early birrud corrin up the shtrate, shmolcin a cigarette, but if he tought I wus the early wurrum he party soon found out that he had another Link comin to him, as me bye .kiddy wid foive childer, is only text that wus oversays wud say. In the moiles away from the girruls an we furst place I hated to see a shmart ixpickt him over to see us in June. lookin bye shmolein a cigarette,' He •shpint forty years av his loife sonleting :only fit. fer . Japanese arr tlzravellin around the `vurruld, an is a Spanyairds arr nager min. Slimokin inosht interestin pian to talk wid, if is a bad.=Habit intoirely, but if a fellah ye lit him do all the shpakin. Ye muslit - shmoke, let him shmoke a wud be plazed to mate hiin." poipe,' loike a dacent British than. I tink the habit av wantin to do "Good marnin, Mishter Hay," sez all the talkin musht be a family fail - in," sez Mishter bond salesman, not knowin I cud hear iviry wurrud he mili.reCharlie Says, said'. "The nixt tonne me boss sinds if you don't be- lieve e li. eve that all �t ' world. loves a lover, just try to :ea.natewnh one e ' our modern 'fl'ppers ra '1 inc•out to sell bonds to. a wumman I hope I won't mate an ould simpleton •!av a husband fursht, as dear as a shtone:fince, an wantin'to tell nee the whole family hishtory. "Well, good 'bye, ould shport," sez he, "Ye ldn. r wroite up the resht av yer family' re- cord an sind it to ine be mail," an wid 'that lasht shot he lit another cigarette an shtarted down the soidc walk.' 1"That's wan" ser I to meself. I hadn't run the mower more than two arr tree tonnes across the lawn whin I saw a big fat fellalr comin ar- round the earner. You're nixt," sez I to mesilf. Nobody loves a fat man, as the •. ould sayin is, an whin I saw this lad comin I tuk a dishloike to him at ,wance. I tought he staid hev been imployin his tonne shplittin rails; arr diggin posht holes, arr buildin hay fer ;a hay loader, arr shoein harses, arr wurrukin in a foundhry, inslitid av pickin an airy jawb. "Good marnin!" sez I, as he came up the walk. "I wus afraid ye wud- tin down the shteps, "an fer all I care ye kin kape yer money there till it rushts, arr find it to the Govern - mint to build another lunitick asylum" "Hould onl" sez I, "Shure, 'tis the roight wurrud ye gave rne. Only two moore, an they can't,go on wid the war," I. seta, but be this toime he wits baitin it down the shtrate as fasht as he cud go. ' "That's two," sez I to mesilf. An so it wint on till I had dishpos- ed ay six av thim in the forenoon an, share, I haven't, had so much fun since the' lasht elickshuu. Thererwus only wan av the lot 1 had anny pity fer, and he wus a shmart lookin young fellah, that I knew musht be a Tory, so I shtarted in. to talk pollyticks to him, purtindin to be a Grit an runn- in down Mishter Ferguson an Mishter Meighen an praisin Mishter MacKen- zie King up to the skoies. He shtud it fer about tin minutes, an thin got up an said, "Well, Good Mornin, Mishter Hay, I hope ye will hev moo - re sinse as...ye git oulder." an away he whit: Thim Tory lads are always polite. 'Tis the''way they are brought pp. Av coorse I hated to decave the bye be rayson av wearin false colors, but I had prawrnised the missies not to lit her houseclaynin be interfered wid an, as I said at .the shtart av this let- ther, I loike to kape me-prawmises. I hope this letther isn't too long. Yours till nixt wake, Timothy Hay. READING THE HOME TOWN PAPER When you read the, hometown paper, And you're miles away from home, There's a thrill that comes to no one But the folks compelled to roam; For the ads look so familiar Arid the names are all so sweet That your fancy goes a -roaming Down a sunny hometown street. When you read the hometown paper In a gloomy hotel room, There's something tugs your -spirit, There's a lifting of the gloom; For across the miles alluring Is a picture looking grand And your folks come out to meet you From the pages in your hand EnstantImmillMIMINIVI • MEM . m s THE RO Sill 0 'i. 1rg9 EOM P • PO BY ELE il y See Our New cCl; ry Llectric Ranges Watch for Announcement of Our Electric Cooking Demonstration ist tit w Wingham Wingharn U a vilford Mock. 1.1,1/1 WWI TITY1.11111111111 Phone 156 11111 1111 When you read, the hometown paper Ina train that's homeward' bound, There's a satisfaction keener Than in any you have found, And sofehow when you are reading You've a heart as light as foam; For to read the hometown paiSer Brings you mighty close to home. At last—closed car comfort and protection in a smart one seater of original design, and low price. One-piece windshield; transparent, flexible, door windows on extra wide doors—Smartly propottioned body, with large rear' compartment—The Coupster is the greatest closed car value ever offered in the low-priced automobile market. Genuine 4.95"Fuli Balloon?ires and 20" Wheels B. J. BENINGER Local Dealer, 'Wingham F.O.B. factory, Taxes Extra. "TO -MORROW'S CAR TO -DAY'' cmccxxam- :•s• •a�— tion with animals being allowed to wont to set the bask concession lines run at• large. Mr. Symington's head of Bruce County on'•a roar and were quarters will be at. Arthur and Iain- frequently given the _,tribute of quo- cardine. He will give the Tiverton tations by dailies in Toronto and far - highway the once over now and again. ther afield. The news : •item ' which It is to be 'remembered that he has tells of Colonel. Clark's sale of his jurisdiction in towns and villages. It : paper gives no hint of his plans for is well for 'drivers, of cars to dtuow• the future, blit it _'is unlikely that •a these facts and govern themselves ac- ;man of his varied activities in journ- cordingly: Don't be foolish' enough 1 alism and politics, from both of which to try and beat the officer on his Mo- fields .he is missing, will resign him- torcycle. If you do it will cost you self to innocuous desuetude. As a something. Mr. Syinington'a warn. -:legislator he has had .a not uneventful ing is a fair one to the Public. Try' career, He lead the odd experience of and not break the speed limit,—Kin- ,being elected twice before taking his cardine Reporter. (seat, being unseated for the act of an Mr. Wilson, another speed cop, 1.5. over -zealous agent and re-elected in covering the district from • Stratford the interval between Ontario to Wingham, with instructions to also A quack doctor was boosting his • medicines to a rural audience. "Yes, gentlemen,". he said. "I have sold these pills for over twenty years and have never had any word of com- plaint Now, what -does ..that prove?" Voice from the crowd --"That dead inen tell no tales." look after the Huron road to Gode- rich. He will also see to it that cat- tle are' not allowed to run at Large.. Col. Clark Out of Harness His innumerable friends in journal- istic, parliamentary and 'militia cir- cles, will be in doubt whether they' should congratulate or commiserate with Colonel Hugh Clark on his with- drawal from the activities of weekly journal1amn after selling his paper, the Kincardine Review, henceforth to . be merged with its local contemporary, The Reporter, Col, Clark inay be sdis- posed, in his first flush of release from a thirty-five year period of ltrttggle with rising production costs, delinquent subscribers and demands for free notices for temperance society concerts and Sunday, school picnics, to declare that congratulations are the order of the day; yet those who know him will find it hard to believe that when the newness of his emancipa- tion wears off he will not find him- self, as the day of publication. conies round each week, filled with the urge to express his thoughts upon passing events' in those pithy paragraphs or seetitions have been made in councc editorials with a punch which were Government Speed Cops The Ontario Government has piac= ed a highway officer on the road be- tween Kincardine and Arthur. The officer is W. H. Symington, He is not anxious to catch the public break- ing the law. He called into The Re- view -Reporter last week and asked us to announce that he is on the job. He drives a motorcycle with a side car. He has a ditty to perform and wishes the public to know that he. will be on the beat mentioned, The Act calls for a speed ,of as miles. At intersection 12 miles, Headlights and. tail lights will be given attention. All. horses, cattle, sheep and hogs must be kept off the roads: Already pro - the gen- eral elections -of 1902 and the conven- ing of the famous Gamey scandal ses- sion of 1903; ,,He was re-elected in two ` succeeding elections by increas- ing anajorities, quitting: provincial politics to enter the Commons at Ot- tawa in the Conservative victory in 1911. Here he sat, for two terms, holding two important under-secretary ships, but was defeated in 1921: To whatever end Col:Clark decides to devote his considerable abilities, his newspaper gifts and his keen sense of humor, a wide circle of friends on both "sides of politics and in many Canadian newspaper offices will wish hirn the best good fortune. -Montreal Gazette, May 12th. : Alio ." ot?a Mo'CNER DtaliNCTLY -`VOLO YOU, vu Iso "?OU weNT OU"C TO Pd AY 13AWE8ALG 16x4 -cm EtA CL®`C1.1' Z! : Fs4"0. BEEN ',Loma PAb, ; WUZ ONLY TH' UMPIRE!