The Wingham Advance Times, 1932-02-25, Page 2t'AGE TWO
THE WJN G IAM. ADVANCE-TaMmS
H E
N E
ACHES/ NEURITIS
ALGIA, COLDS .
Whenever you have some
nagging ache or pain, take
some tablets of Aspirin.
You'll get immediate relief.
There's scarcely ever an
ache or pain that Aspirin
won't relieve—and never a
tune when you can't take it.
The tablets with the
Bayer cross are always safe.
They don't depress the
heart, or otherwise harm
you. Use them just as often
as they can spare you any
pain or discomfort. Just be
sure to buy Aspirin and
not 'a substitute.
([tgADE IN
CANADA)
441,14tlt,11,1U11,111111111.111111411111ltlItttt 111141 t (111111,Y1t111"4AV• l itt the police court here an Monday
{last after being ht jail on remand for,
!a week, and pleaded guilty to assault -
ling his father, the cadi stated that if
he had the authority he would cer-
NEWS
of the fainly order that the dcfendent be
DISTRICT
C ;strapped. —Walkerton Herald -Times,
Loses Four. Fingers i who was found lying dead cm the.
An unfortunate accident befell;
road near his home on the B Line,
Francis Weber, nine-year-old son of Carrick, a mile east of Formosa, a -
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Weber, of near ,bout i o'clock Tuesday evening, , is
Formosa. While pulping turnips his ' reported to have been drinking just
right hand was drawn into the pulper ;prior to his death, and two men, Ja-
through his mit catching in the ma-• 'rob Specht of Holland Tp., and Alex
ehinery, Four fingers were so sever- McDonald of Sullivan Tp., who were
ely crushed; that it was found neces- with him at the time, were later ar-
sary to have there amputated,' which rt,:,ted near Notestadt by Prov. Offic-
Dr. H. G. Joyce, of Walkerton, per- 'el. McClevis, who investigated the
formed at the Bruce County Hospital case, and brought them to Walker -
here. !ton, where they were remanded to
•the County jail on liquor charges,
Huron More Gallant lend who will also be material wit -
Those ruthless members of Bruce eesses at the Coroner's inquest which
County Council didn't' spare the lad- opens at Formosa next Monday af-
ies' feelings when it came to salary`'ternoon at 2 o'clock;—Walkerton
slashing at the January session. In Therald & Times.
Huron the remuneration of the mat-
ron of the gaol and of the house. of One Dollar Bought The
refuge were not reduced. For a real
Only Cow Sold
display of gallantry and consideration ()etc dollar"—That was the only
of the weaker sex connnend us to the 'Midi rttadte during the entire auction
Huron reeves and deputies—Chesley
•
t ;lc and by that bid the wife of the
Futerprise. ;erstwhile proprietor of the stock and
l cltattle; now being disposed of to
Improving in Health square away a tax account, became
Friends of Hon. James Malcolm, ov, ser of the only cow sold. The sale
will be glad to learn that reports , c•,curred in west Luther on Tues -
from Saranac Lake, N.Y., are to the day afternoon and the expected pro -
effect that his health is improving reeds were disigned to pay tax ar-
,and that the throat trouble from rears to that municipality. No pro -
which he r;uffered is clearing. ecccis however, were. forth r ,mins.
The farmers in attendance absolutely
Would Order Strap refused to offer° buds an the stock of
When a local youth who had been itheir neighbor in distress and so the
before him for different offences in,v-1.ole affair was indefinitely adjourn-
thepast, faced Magistrate \Walker ed. Forced sales in rural municipal -
Found. Dead on Road
Andrew Kunkel,aged about 44
Nil
'eve Lon; side Lamps"
rote
eep * Carton. of Six Lamps •
In the Hous('
ilIghain Utilities Commission
l ford Block. Phone 156..
L,otYit 11 i' }
eimicks
144 /44a1You Otey
ities, ,either for taxes or other causes
arc evidently becoming difficult pro
i,<,ailiona to put user. —Arthur •En
t c't•p rise. •
Clinton Youth Glider Expert
,Joseph Gandier, a Clinton youth,
yesterday took a leading place in the,
list of western Ontario, youths now
engaged in the rather hazardous rec-
reation of 'building and flying gliders,
(randier, hearing' that V'erno t&ar-
tin of London tuienship had built a
glider soon to be tested by a Detroit
eeepert revealed yesterday that since
September he has had his hone -built
glider in operation.
He has reached accreditable alti-
tude of 125 'feet, and though he has
made. 'repeated flights he has never
laid. even a minor accident, He nev-
er bad any instruction.
:Members of the London Flying
Club are . considering bringing the
youth and. his creation to London air-
port for a public demonstration,
Brussels House Entered
When Mr. and Mrs. W. H. Maun-
ders returned home from their visit
to their daughthr at Havelock • on
Tuesday of last week, they found
that their house had been entered
and several pieces of 'furniture such
as a sewing machine, gramophone
and bedding had been removed. In-
vestigations are in progress.
Action For Libel Against
Kincardine Board Settled
The action for libel brought by the
Kaustine Manufacturing Company, of
Dundas against R. Scott, James Hun-
ter and Dr. John Ferguson of the
Kincardine Board of 'Health, was
settled in County Court on Feb, 18,
before Judge Thomson. The plain
tiff company alleged that the defene
dents authorized the publication of a
letter in a Kincardine weekly news-
paper which was detrimental to the
sale of the plaintiff's products. The
defenedants agreed to make further
statement that they intended no re-
flection on the plaintiff company, or
its products.
TIMES ARE
CHANGED NOW
To the Editur av all . thin
Wingham paypers.
Deer Sur: --
A Iot av fellahs do shtill be lackin
up a big noise about that 'Beauhair-
noise thru1 ble. Shure, wasn't theer
a gintelman's agreetnint to lave well
enough alone, which is always a good
Tory shio ;'an, an won the elickshuits
fer us in nointeen, elivin. Ye can't
depind on thini Grits, fer whin they.
male a fair bargain they won't shtick
to it, so they won't. Whin they do
be shtuck !n the mudethtlnslives they
throy to pull ivirybody ilse '.in wid
thine, If thing lads down in l'arley-
mint wud shtick to business, an not
he afther appointin commisltuns to
take the noise out av Iieaultarnoise, it
tvud be betther fer ivirybody, • barrin
the fellahs who git the jawb av throy-
itt to foind out tings, an incl be ap-
pi•tyin the whoitewash brush: It
eoslata a lot av money to pay titin
lawyers an judges fer houldin •an in-
, vistig;ashun, so it does. IMebby it
wttd be betther to lave thitn Airds,
a n v1cl)ougalls, an Sneezys kape
what they got, an not be afther
shpindin a lot more money enquirin.
hew they got it, and how they shpint
It afthertvartls. As the sarin is, it
would only be the pot callin the kit-
tle black afther all. I don't tink it
is up• to the 'Tory parthy to shkin
shl.tutks fer thin Grits, at all, at all,
al. 1 don't.
Another ting 1 want to say a wur
rr.tcl arr two about, fer, Shure, if
uiiiebudy duzzen't shpake a few sin-
sible wurruds tings will be afther go -
in to the bad intoirely. A lot ay.
fellahs do be shtirrin up thrubble MP-
' er the salaries we-hcv to pay to the
alio who do the wurruk av the town,
ten kape the !tome foire,t burnin, su:
to shpake. Ye kin hear ivirybody on
the, ehtrates talkin about the money
it coshes to rut the town, an a lot
av' third whet heir the ntosht to say;.
I am sorry to tell ye, are Tories.
1'he sittsiblc ting to do wild be to
look over the 1islet av awficc hottld-
I rs, an if ye foind tinny Grits among
tl irn, till Olin shtraight that theer
• ay:a-ices cud be dispensed wid fer the
prieint, owing to the harruct tonnes
en the hoigh taxes .
i amt either givin this bit tie ad-
ct:,ice ti•i<1rttrt de er„ in ax Cine fer it,
w if cc vtint 1:u t lawyer fer it he
wud toikcly charge ye lin dollars ler
tin satMe ting; arr worse, but l don't
stipt,osc auntybOdy will lislrtc"n. to an
rtuld oidin111y 1oikc tttt•st11.
]Mlle''l'oty iotrthw is not what' it 115
<.•d to be in Win•hant, Whin we nivir
ltstdl stritlyling but t l'ory Mayor ler
1y itity years at a .,tritch, tett whin
T„iit, Abrahein curl die fate !,illy
t'ttalmtatn, 1111 hill Moonie end bate.
1'1'r, 'fowler whirr 11111h ill ftt• the jawb
av belt: School TiErnei
"Toarnc•s are.:diffr"unt now, so they.
:t t, but mcbby it 1s beithet t.
i ' rtrs" 1111 ni\t. wakt1
Y.•. ,Tirpoth r nay..
e
Sympathetic Neighbor: "1 lute is
the buss?
Wife of Invalid: "I'm
thanks,"
* *
Tenant • (paying bill) : "Well, !'art
square now." o
Landlord: "Yes, and I hope you'll
soon b:: round again."
all right,
"Don't you find it hard to meat
expenses?"
"Hard? Man alive! I meet expen-
ses every time 1 turn around.
tk # * 31=
"Tommy," his 'mother began sev-
erely;"there were two cakes in the
cupboard last night.—"
"Bother! I only saw onel"
;: q:it
He: "MY Ideal of a wife -is one who
can Make good bread:"
She: "My ideal of a husband is one
who, can raise; the slough' in the hour
of knead."
• +' *
Buck: "Can you give the a ilefitii-
lion of an orator?"
• Private: "Sure. He's the fellow
who's always read to lay clown your
life for his country."
* • * 4. *
Ethel: "Uncle, they say there are
more marriages of blondes than of
brunettes, Why is it, I wonder?"
Bachelor Miele: Naturally the
light-headed. ones go first!"
* '
Wife: "Darling, I have lots of
thing; I want to talk to you about."
He: "Good, it is usually things you
haven't got that you want to talk
about."
:1: r:
"Would yoti still love rile, Donald,
wi'out my bit siller?"
"Hae: ye lost it?" demanded Don-
ald.
"No," replied Jean.
"Then dinna ask silly questions."
a• :t, * #:
• A schoolgirl's essay ran as fol-
lows: "When we go camping, we
must keep the place neat, we must
be very careful to put out our fire.
This is .God's country. Don't burn
it up and make it look like hell." •
Thursday, Feb. • 26th, 1932
llibbs: 'I believe II t easy rising,
don't yoti?"
Gibbs "Well, .there's ltti' ebetracl
excellence in early rising; it all de.
pends en \that yiau di, ttftei•'you rise,
1't "would be better fur the world if
some people never gut up."
He Lacked the Coir!.
(auesl•---i'd be happy toPerfurri
some trici<s this evening, but I have-
n't the necessary equipment with
foe;" •
Host -What kind of tricks do yntt
perform? \ ,
Guest—Coin tricks.
,ii 4 * *
If we noticedlittle pleasures
As we notice little pains,
if we quite forget our losses
And remember all our gains,
If tt"c looked for people's virtues "
• And their' faults refuse to see,
bWhat a, comfortable, happy,
Cheerful place this , world would
be.
St hi,
His Only Chance
The boat was sinking. The skip-
per rushed up to a crowd of scared,
passenger's, • "Who among• you can
pray?" he asked them.
"I can," answered the minister.
"Then pray, mister," ordered• the
skipper. "The rest of you put on life
preservers. We're one short"
* t` ,h
Characteristic
Photographer: Here are a dozen
photographs your son ordered, Mr.
Banks, and told me to deliver to you.
Banks: Ah, yes. They certainly do
look like him too. Did he pay for
them?
Photographer; No, sir, he did not.
Banks II -m -m. Still more like"
him.
* * 4'
Bet She Would.
Passerby: "What ttroulcl your nio-
thee• say, little^ boy, if she could hear
you swear like that?"
• Boy; "She'd be tickled to death if
she could !tear 11,''
Passerby: "How can ,you lie ;lilac
flea?"
Boy: "That's no lie, She's siinie
deaf."
4 :: , r
A two -foot rule was • given . 16 0
laborer to measure an iron _plate. The
laborer after much, time returned,
",`Now," asked the plater, "What is
the size?"
"'Well," replied the roan, "11, is the
length of yciur rule, and ttvo thumbs
over, with this piece of - brick,, and
the breadth of my hand,and arn'i `front
here to there, bar a finger!"
* y4 *
An itinerant collector of old iron
was 'trundling his barrow along a
very narrow road, Behind hiin was.
a somewhat elderly motor car, .the
impatient driver of which was hoot-
ing and tooting in his anxiety to pass
the old -iron barrow.
Tron inez-hnl 1 - ed
round!he. at old-ithe ear, attd. thean addroolessee!
the owner: ,
"All right, gttv'nor; I'll call for that
tomorrow!"
at *
"Look here, my friend, that dog
of yours killed three of my sheep last
night, and I want to know what you
propose to do about it."
".`Are you sure it was my dog?"
eyes."
"I . scarcely know what to do. I
think I had better sell hint. You.
don't want to buy a gdod' dog,do
you?"
Editor -in -Chief
"And what," asked the chief.of the
Cannibal Islands, in his kindest tones
on New Year's Day, "was your busi-
ness before you were captured by my
then?"
"1 was a newspapers' 1nan," atnswer-
ed the Captive.
"An editor?"
"No, merely a sub -editor.
"Cheer up, young than! 1?:vniotion
awaits you. 'After dimer you shall
be editor -int chief."
,1t * 1]
Tlie Gift
'i'hc parson, a much -liked man; was'
in chronic trouble by reason of ' a
small stlpetld and a large family. Just
t;;; help him a little his' flock collect-
ed •a few pottnds and: made a quiet
presentation,
Next day a baby son was added to
his family. The villagers ,at once he -
came intensely interested as to what
would happen on Sunday, Which
would lie mention first, the San or
the money? '
All he said was: "We thank Thee,
o Lord, for welcome little sue-
Cour,n I
•„ , SMALL 1i?ATT,ER
, Wife (discovering • typist on her host
band's lap)—So, at last I've found you
!out!
1 "Sh-h-h-h-h! Be calm now, wifie
dear. This little girt is just a • trifle
('hard of bearing, that's all.”
■
st
■
* 8' 131
Wife: "Yoru don't love me any 14
inure." .
Husband: "Why, dear, I certainly
do.'
\Vife: "You ,couldn't lore a woman
with such old clothes as I have."
*
"What would you say to anyone
who sit% himself down on your hat?"
1 should call loin an idiot, a stu-
pid ass." •
"`That's all I Wish to know — you
are sitting un mine."
Lodger: "'rhe 'anaa who killed this
turkey must have had a kind heart,
Landlady: "What makes you think
that?"
. y
Lodger "Weil, he must have heli- ■
tared about six years before he killed ■
• 4 8 4,
A man took a clock to a pawn-
broker in •an effort to "raise the
wind." "Is it an eight-day clock?"
asked the pawnbroker.
"I don't know," replied the man.
"I've never had it out more than four
'ways at a timer'
The young apprnitice was whist-
ling; tnei City.
"Stop that!" shouted the foreman,
"You musn't whistle while you are
working."
"Who's working?" queried the ap-
prentice..
* 4 • 1„ 4'
Ronald was staying with an 110111
whu held strung -views on how little
boys should behave. He was obvious-
ly unhappy.
"'You're homesick;" said the aunt"
"No, 1'in not, was the anstv'er,
"I'm here sick.", ..
* 4
Thea 1duSband: "But why shuuld
yon think rim 'cook is thinking of
(leaving us?"
1 fie, 'rt tf : "Well, I. asked tier if
she would care for something to read
tiled she asked if we had any ,boolcs 'iaa
on Traver'
* :r :r
Applicant- forsituation: '"T've conte
about' tlic job that tins. advertised."
lint,ployCr: "'Well, ,ind can you do
0.1
tit
.70
et
thc. wurl ?"
Applicant (in .alarm) "`Work! 'Why
1 thought it ryas a foreman 31011 want-
C.(1
s e't *
"Von 50010 angry, Mt', Smith"
"I ant. The Inspector of Weights
and Measures his just been 111."
"lla, hal tlt, caught yort giving 1.5
entices 'lo the .pound, did he'?'
"W<,rsis Hiatt that,. Ile said I'ti
1tee11 kir, 111, 17;"
)
RINE IS®®®®Et
sri
Tell
411.2.11.
us Customers About 3arg e s
J ER
610g 1►1j91iY Sliidiil4 l uthignamoymiimil
ih.I Ter,
1,'PjY/.j, p,'11. ,;F .',G '1'I),p •, n{!.::
i This , rr'mea
rr•+6iniinyif"nitLltt«irf..xxL.2.61 'frrCttnsatcST,''mntoom
m.,,.,:;t . 1' 1 ' ,'r 41, ,
IF
Is to -day the favorite newspaper
in 2,000 homes in this district.
There it reaches an army of buy-
ers, counting the number 'of pos-
sible grown-ups in each fainily.
NOW MR.. MERCHANT,
isn't. that the very army of pros-
pects you're • trying to reach?
Aren't they the folks who should
know, about your wales, your
Saving Prices? Then up •and tel
'els With
Iy r"i:U!
r1 5'!`II Mt F>k'f n.Fd l6Y iPin
MISMSESMMEWZBAS
T E SSW'
164,112.111411111:12.11.111111111EgS DJ*
and C
nishe
11/111.11.6.
ARTICLES LOST, OUND,
WANTE1 ,, TUY OR SELL,
ETC.
gig
'TR YED,
ETC.
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11111
Ad -t
as
;uLTs
,llWi1t1Y
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