The Seaforth News, 1946-10-03, Page 7}
DOST IN FUN 11
Speed
in an American shipyard noted
for its bustle and speed the stage
was set for . the launching Gere -
The distinguished guest, holding
the traditional bottle,of cham-
pagne, exclaimed in some bewilder-
ment, "But, there's no ship."
Replied the foreman: "Start
swinging that bottle, lady'. There
will be."
A Long Time
"I like that dress you're wear-
ing."
"I got it for my twentieth birth-
day."
"Really I It has worn well,
hasn't it?"
Smart
Husband: "Conte back for some-
thing you've forgotten, as usual?"
Wife (brightly): "No, I've come
back for something I've remem-
bered,"
Reasonable
Ivlistress: "Why don't you keep
the baby quiet, Kate?"
Kate: "1 can't keep hien quiet,
Ma'am, unless i let him "make a
noise."
THE SPORTING THING
"That one's got me worried."
Don't Boast
A Scots girl obtained a situation
In the South. One day her mistress
asked her what particular part of
Scotland she came from.
"1 come front near Aberdeen,"
was the reply.
"Oh," said her mistress, "1'm
sorry you didn't tell me so before.
1 had some friends staying there,
and 1 would have asked you if you
knew then."
"it's like this," retorted the girl:
"when 1 was leaving hone my
mother said, 'Dinna boast."'
More Important
In answer to her advertisement
for a cook, the housewife received
only one reply.
"1 suppose I needn't bother ask -
Ing for references, John?" she
asked, discussing the matter with
her husband.
"No, my dear," said John, "just
ask her to submit samples."
THE SPORTING THING
' So! Ben drinkin' black coffee
again!"
He Knew
Smith assured his wife that he
could repair the broken window.
So he took careful measurements
and went to buy the glass—and to
ask the dealer how to put it in.
"It's quite easy," was the reply.
"Just remove the broken bits, fit
in the new glass, put the putty
around, and there you arel"
In a short time Smith was back
again. The shopman grctted him
with:
"Same size again, I suppose?"
Tough
"Two days without food or
water," announced the Commando
to an admiring audience in the
local; "think of that."
"Pretty' bad," agreed a middle-
aged man; 'but how would you
like to have fought in the trenches
in Flanders? Sometimes we were
up to the waist in icy water and
mud' for a week or more."
"Call yourselves soldiers?" snort-
ed a very, very old man who had
hobbled to the bar. "Pahl When
1 was in the Zulu war, a spear'
knocked me down and pinned me
lo the ground. 1 couldn't move, and
I lay there for over a week without
food or drink."
"By Jove!" exclaimed the Com-
mando hero. "It must have been
very painful."
"Not very," answered the old
man; "only when •I laughed."
TA LE TALKS a a
Vegeztabde Dishes
Egg Plant Creole
1 medium egg plant
Boiling salted water
3 tablespoons mild -flavoured fat
1 small green pepper, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
3 tablespoons floor
Vi teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon brown sugar
3 large tomatoes (peeled -and
chopped) OR
2 cups canned tomatoes
• bay leaf, crushed
hi teaspoon cloves
f/ cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon buttter OR
3 tablespoons grated cheese
Peel and dice egg plant. Cook
for 10 minutes in a little boiling,
salted water. Drain. Place in greas-
ed baking dish. Melt fat, add green
pepper and onion and saute 2 min-
utes. Add flour, salt and sugar,
blend well. Add tomatoes, crushed
bay leaf and cloves, and continue
coolcing 5 minutes. Pour the
tomato sauce over egg plant and
top with bread crumbs which have
been combined with the butter or
grated cheese. Bake in moderate
over, 350 deg. F, for 20 minutes.
Six servings.
Apple and Squash Casserole
2% cups diced, cooked squash
1% cups sliced sour apples
Yi cup brown sugar
2 strips side bacon, diced
t/z 'teaspoon salt
Arrange half the squash in greas-
ed casserole. Cover with half the
apples. Sprinkle with half the sugar
and salt and add half the bacon.
Repeat with remaining ingredients.
Cover and bake in moderately slow
oven, 325 deg. F, for 30 minutes.
Uncover and bake until apples are
soft and to is browned, about 15
minutes longer.
Potatoes in Green Peppers
3 large green peppers
2 tablespoons fat
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
• teaspoon salt
dash of pepper
1 cup grated cheese
3 cups diced cooked potatoes
Wash peppers, cut in half length
wise and remove seeds. Parboil, un
covered, in salted water until ten-
der but not soft. Drain. \'telt fat,
add flour and blend well. Add milk,
stirring constantly until mixture
thickens, Add. salt, pepper and
cheese. Stir until cheese is melted.
Add potatoes and heat of er low
heat until hot. Serve in green pep-
per cases. Sia servings.
Many people do not like Jerusa-
lem Artichokes because they don't
know how to cook them. The
artichokes (Jerusalem) should be
parc'l and dropped in cold acidu-
lated water, that is water (1 quart)
to which 1 teaspoon of lemon juice
or vinegar has been added. This
will prevent the artichokes from
discolouring. After being drained
they are cooked like other vege-
tables in a small amount of boiling
salted water, until tender. then
served with a cream sauce or sea-
suned with salt, pepper, butter and
chopped parsley
h
VOICE OF THE PRESS
Nearly Fell Over The fellow who used to get 75c
and his dinner for planting corn all
day was taken a little aback when'
a grocer the othtl,day offered hint
half a dozen roasting ears for the
same figure.
- Christian Scienan Monitor.
Sucker Trap
Why put in jail, if he is caught,,
an imaginative guy like that chap
reported to be selling atomic bomb
stock around the country? Why
not , examine the dopes who buy
the stock?
— St. Catharines Standard.
,Delicious Proof
There are worse places to live in
than Canada. Here we pay 25 cents
for a high-grade brick of ice cream.
In New York the same thing
costs 81.
—St. Thomas Times -Journal.
To Be Heard From
As the specifications for a new
jet-propelled motor car lists its top
speed at 130 m.p.h. and make no
mention of brakes, we assume it
has an extra -loud horn.
—Chicago Daily News.
Futility
By the way, have you noticed
how much it helps to blow your
horn in a traffic jam? Of have you?
—Christian Science Monitor.
New Housing Slogar
The U.S. Army is selling gliders
at 375. They are packed in crates
for delivery and the lumber in the
crates is worth from $2,70 to $700.
Buy a glider and build a home,
should be a slogan over there.
. —St. Catharines Standard.
Universal Language
"The world needs a universal
language," asserts a writer. But,
mister, the world already has s
universal language. It's one spoken
when money talks.
—Kitchener Record.
You Will Enjoy Staying At
The St. Regis Hotel
'LOl(ONTO
• Every Room With Rath
Shover Lund Telephone
• Single, 52.50 Int— -
Double, 33.50 up
• Good good Dining and Dane.
Ing Nightly
Sherborrne at Carlton
Tel. RA. 4135
ser
ROOMS RGAUTI FULLY
rhRNl.ulan $1.50 up
HOTEL METROPOLE.
NIAGARA FALLS
OPP. — C.N.R. STATION
•
Restful Runaway
Alongside, planes that try to bore
through .mountains, and trains that
try t0 pass on a. single track, the
old-fashioned runaway horse was
positively restful.
—Edmonton Journal.
Distance
During the past twenty-five
yearsothe world has had to revise
its ideas about distance. War and
destruction may now travel from
one country to, another in less than
an hour, as we very well know. But
exchange of information and opin-
ion can be carried on just as quick-
ly.
—Peterborough Examiner.
The Better Way
The best wayto raise the stan-
dard of living in this country and
provide for the welfare of the chil-
dren is to so order the national
economy that there may be steady
jobs at decent wages for all. There-
after, in the cases in which, for any
reason, parents are unable to look
after their children, specific and
effective assistance could be given.
—Brantford Expositor.
$p�RIN
NEA FAST
NEW
LOW PRICES
12 tablets...1k
• 24 tablets...21e
100 tablets..1k
Vermont Marvel
The maininterest of a city lad
who is spending a partof the sum-
mer -on his grandparents' farm' in
Vermont is a brand-new calf. He
wrote his father and mother last
week that he wished they were
there to watch it grow. "It's get-
ting bigger every day," he said,
and then, as if despaired of con-
veying any sense of the solemn
wonder of it all, he added, "Some-
times twice a day."
—The New Yorker.
A Mess, Anyway
Canadian mines say they need
100,000 men, .and we are toldat the
same time that construction, so
vital now, is being held up by lack
of workers. Meanwhile we have
50,000 men idle through strikes.
Truly this country seems to be
doing its best—or worst—to throw
away its birthright.
—Ottawa Journal.
When your BACK
ACHES...
Backache is often caused by lazy kidney
action. When kidneys get out of order excess
acids and poisons remain in the system. Then
backache, headache, rheumatic pain, dis-
turbed rut or that 'tired out' feeling may
soon follow. To help keep your kidneys
working properly—me Dodd's Kidney Pills.
Time -tested popular, safe, non -habit-form-
ing. Demand Dodd's Kidney liW, in the blue
oz with the red hand. Sold ererrwhere. tls
GENUINE ASPIRIN IS
MARKED THIS WAY
HOLD EVERYTHING
"This was the captain's quar-
ters -so wipe your feet before
you come in!"
HEMORRHOIDS
2 Special Remedies
by the Makers of Mecca Ointment
Mecca Pilo Remedy No. 1 is for Protruding
Bleeding Piles, and is Bold in Tube, with pi
or internal application. Prise 75a. Mecca Pile
Remedy No. 2 ie for External Itching Piles. Sold
n Jar, and is for external use only. Price 50a.
Jrder by number from your Druggist.
lYOMfirloaritO
MONti/ ®N
should try this very effective medicine
to relieve pain and tired, nervous,
crankyfeelings, of such days—when
due to female functional monthly
disturbances. Worth trying!
LYDIAE.P/NXNAMS vcaaZt
HOW TO RELIEVE
PILE TORTURE
QUICKLY AND EASILY
If you are troubled with itching pile, or
rectal soreness do not delay treatment and
run the rink of letting !hie condition become
chronic. Any itching or soreness or painful
passage of stool is nature's warning and proper
treatment should be secured at once.
For this purpose get a package of Hem.
Row from any druggist and use as directed;
This formula which is used internally is a
.mall, easy to take tablet, will quickly relieve
the itching and aoreneee and aid in healing
the sore tender emote. Hem-Roid is pleasant
to use, is highly recommended and tt seema
the height of folly for any one to risk o painful
and chronic pile conditmn when such a fine
remedy may be had at such a email coat.
If you try Hem-Roid andare not entirely
pleased with the result,, your druggist w!
gladly return your money.
D'J'EVER?
YOU'LL HAVE
1.15 ALL IN
THE WATER
IF You ooN'T
SWATCH 007
_ fes -
DVEVER LAUGH AT THE NERVOUS
FELLOW WHO TELLS YOU 175 DANGEROUS
TO STAND UP IN A ROW -BOAT,,.
GRAB
HIM,-
HARrzy/
AND YOU NONCHALANTLY STEP
OVER ONE OF THE SEATS TO
CAST YOUR LINE OVERBOA( 0...
IF WEO BEEN
IN DEEP WATER
You'0 NAVE
BEEN A
GONER
BUT SURE ENOUGH YOU TRIP AND
GO HEAD FIRST INTO THE LAKE
DawE=sLncK H
O'J'EVER PI URE THAT SAKE TY
FIRST 15 0000 BUSINESS ?
6-13W
RSEBREWERY
POP—Unmistakable -
:relcae,d h)' The !lett Syndics's, loo.)
W HAT . '
DO you
y
WANT
9
::fill
!.
iii
is
.
I WANT SOME LITTLE.
HOLES, SAWED OFF SHORT
WITH WRINKLES
ROUND THE
1NSIDEa,I
By J. MILLAR WATT
NUTS .7�
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