The Seaforth News, 1946-03-14, Page 6No Wonder
They were discussing girls,
"How is it, Jack," asked Joe,
"that you get on so well with the
girls?"
"Easy," was the reply. "Try
flattery, For instance, the girl I was
with last night got a fly in her eye.
I said, 'I can't see how it could
miss such big eyes as yours.' After
that I had her eating out of my
band."
A few days later they met again,
"H?m," said Joe. 'I don't think
much of your flattery stunt. I tried
it, but it didn't come off."
"What happened?"
"Why, the girl I was with got a
fly in her mouth."
Keeping It Dark
Two abrges on a canal were ap-
proaching each other. Although
separated by a hundred yards, the
respective owners recognized each
other and began long-distance
greetings.
The vessels passed and were al-
most out of hearing range when
one barge suddenly roared: "How's
that daughter o'yours, Bill?"
"Oh," replied Bill in his bull -
like voice, "she's gone and eloped
she 'as, but we're keeping it quiet."
THE SPORTING THING
'You can surface now — the
war is over!"
VOICE OF THE
PRESS
IMMUNE
A cold wave swept across the
Bay of Biscay last week. At the
prison of the 011e d'Yeu, many of
the inmates came down with flu.
But the island's most noted pris-
oner, Marshal Henri Philippe Pe-
lain, aged 89, remained in spry
good health. A prison doctor
drearily remarked: "TIe will out-
live me.".
— Newsweek.
Inflation
Each of several boys who amus-
ed themselves by deflating automo-
bile tires was required to pump
one up by hand. That's learning
about inflation the hard way.
—Christian Science Monitor.
Tough Going!
Overheard in a Sussex pub.
First mild and -bitter: "I 'ates
the taste of this beer."
Second ditto: "Yus. I'll be glad
when I've had enough of it."
— London New Statesman.
Greater Speed Still
I-Taving developed a plane that
goes nearly as fast as sound, they
are now experimenting on one that
can travel almost as fast as gossip.
— Stratford Beacon-I-Ierald
Th.: Little Darling(?)
One of our English subscribers
has sent us an advertisement he
saw in a Surrey, England, news-
paper. It hints at a reign of terror
of which very little seems to have
been heard on this side of the
ocean, and we're glad to print it:
"Young lady, aged six and a
half years, who has just returned
from America and knows all the
snswers seeks a governess willing
to learn,"
— New Yorker.
Just Like That!
The hardy old pioneers had a
tough time in some ways, but not
with their housing. They could al-
ways sharpen an axe, fell a few
trees, get a demijohn of "high-
wines," call the neighbors in for a
"bee" -and up event another log
cabin
— Ottawa Citizen.
Diplomatic Buck -Passing
A great deal of foreign policy
now resolves itself into everybody's
being in favor of something being
done and nearly everybody's being
in favor of somebody else doing it.
— Vancouver Province
No Excuses
Many married servicemen are go-
ing hack to college to complete
their education. And iv0n'1 the Lit-
tle Woman get a kick out of cigii-
ing their report cards! \\'.I1
Street Journal.
Ile
LATE ACTRESS
HORIZONTAL
1,9 Pictured late
screen and
stage actress,
--- Hope
6 Dance
(colloq.).
14 Genus of
geese,
15 Harem room,
16 Badgerlike
mammal.
17 Christmas
carols.
18 Lease.
19 Aftersong.
20 Conclusion,
21 Garden tool,
Answer to Previous Puzzle
ELt•
MER
THOMAS
.4
S
TE;irl,'7+1,
47F -E
6
1 NED
6
fSO'
L ECT
Il
1 ONS.
13
T la
AGE
R R
c i.s
I N'fr`y
Y
n
TIILIMEEk
11101-0
DAG
E
}r e E
EADW
DAN
RI
Or
CL
E.3
MOT
ES,A:F'.0
r8
T SR
S =C
I
`ii OKLAH
bYCUo Hell > I;rwr T•r)_..
OMAN
20
1 R'iiCREAM,OA
_......,.,
c:
11
NETHERLANDS
Z=
..
.. .1
4At•
24'
N
O
S
E
T
R
u
E
R
91 Behold. 60 Growing out.
92 Bone. 61 Reprimand;
93 Be DT, 62 Cognizance.
23 Age. 46 Large tub. 63 Removes.
24 New South,48 Genus of VERTIOAL
Wales (abbr.grasses. 1 Narrow road.
25 Nothing. 49 Hops' kiln, 2 Soon.
26 Myself. 52 She was a — 3 Consumed.
28'Run aground, actress, . .1 Relative
31 $ilk fabric. 54 Lincoln's (abbr.)..
35 Drop of eye nickname. & Turkish
fluid. 56 She acted in measure.
26 Was carried. .many —s. 6 Pit.
37 Edging 58 Father '1 Poem.
.machines,
(Latin). 8 Top of the
40 Drift along, 59 Born. head.
9 Froths.
10 Knock.
11 Short jacket.
12 Marries.
13 River inlet.
22 Aged.
25 Nostrils.
27 Noblemen,
28 Female saint
(abbr.).
29 Scatter.
30 Tatter.
32 And.
33 Girl's name.
34 Seine.
38 Venerate.
39 Body of water
40 Frothed,
43 Snakes.
44 Italic (abbr.).
45 Malayan
jumping
disease.
47 War machine.
48 Hammer head
49 Elliptical.
50 Locality.
61 Golf mounds.
53 Obtain.
55 Honey -making
insect.
57 Unit,
LIFE'S LIKE THAT
By Fred Neher
"I can wear lona pants any time I want to ... I'm just making
this sacrifice because of the wool shortage! ! !"
Out Our Way
WHAT ltd THE
WORLE KIND OF
A SHAPE HAVE
YOU GOT INTO
WITH 'THOSE
OSE
PACKAGES?.
By. J. R. Williams
-TI-LATS EXACTLY YOUR )1
61-1APE! 1F YOU'D PUT
YOUR.' HAND OUT WHEN
You 5TOP SO QUICK
TO LOOK AT STUFF
t WOULDN'T GIT MY-
SELF 50 BUMPED
UTA SHAPE!
O
11.111,.
((1
h��1 171
•'��
'lf
_I
11(11111
;j7YJItLIFM�j
WHY MOTHERS GET GRAI cera ,x. or a•, nry+ar:,ac r. , ".c U. A. ter. ort.
•
He'll Find Out
Algy was, or had been, Aunt
Matilda's favorite nephew. I'is
name was still on her list for the
New Year gift distribution.
"What did you give him last
year?" asked her companion.
"A. cheque," said auntie. "an 1.
poor boy, he told me he couldn't
find words with which to thank
me."
"And what are you givine 1:m
this year?"
"A dictionary."
IT MEANS A LOT when
the meal includes Maxwell
House. This marvellous
coffee is extra delicious
because it contains choice
Latin-American coffees...
the finest the world pro-
duces.
12 roN YS 25` ORUGSTGR[S
:. Look for this sign for
leadership in the field of
modern insecticides, fungi-
cides and herbicides 'for
farm and garden. Your
dealer will have full inform-
ation soon.
*Trade Mark Reg -
LOOK FOR THE "GREEN CROSS'/
We Have
Prospective Purchasers
We have prospective purchasers
for properties near Windsor, To-
ronto and Niagara Falls., Write,
giving Its- particulars.. Guaranty
Trust Company of Canada,
Windsor,Toronto, Niagara Falls,
About Turn
The young man in the dock was
charged with 'disorderly conduct.
Eyeing him coldly, the magistrate
asked his profession,
"My client' is a professional foot-
baller explained the defendant's
lawyer; "he plays outside -right for
his team,"
"Be does does he? said the ma-
gistrate coldly. "Well he'll have
to change his .position. He'll be
right ,inside for .the next foip'leen
days!
Beginning
Next
Week
" The
Farm
Forum
i3
15
News and Views of
Particular latei'el to
Ontario Fanners,
Canadian Government,
Municipal and
Corporation Securities
In matters relating to investment or
the underwriting and distribution of
securities, the facilities of our organ-
ization arc always at your disposal.
Security offerings furnished
upon request.
Wood, Gundy & Company
Limited
Winnipeg TORONTO i'anantvee
Ottawa Montreal Nov fork vki"rin
London. Eng. Hamilton Khelener London. Ont
REG'LAR FELLERS—Part of the Job
by GENE BYRNES
CORPRIL DUFFY,I
EVERY FIR ST CLASS
ARMY ORTER HAVE.
A QUARTERMASTER' SO
Z
3
.4
S
WELL, SO HAD
6
9
6
e
to
Il
q
13
'+.14
r
)
IJ
15
.i f 6
17
��i�'
r8
-19
'
-01C16neC
bYCUo Hell > I;rwr T•r)_..
_ ?. �c
20
_......,.,
c:
11
r.1`:��
Z=
..
.. .1
4At•
24'
_.
..:...
2. 9
25
■t
'fk
.{
26
Z7
59
30
-31
32-�
33
34
x'.35_
.
'l.�
{
36
i 37
38
39
;�
40.
42
4i
43
44
49 _..
V(�!'46
.49
41)).448
?,x,•_49
50
Sikigit
52
53.
. 54-
55
. 56
59
59
59
' 60
.161
'
■■
63
71
LIFE'S LIKE THAT
By Fred Neher
"I can wear lona pants any time I want to ... I'm just making
this sacrifice because of the wool shortage! ! !"
Out Our Way
WHAT ltd THE
WORLE KIND OF
A SHAPE HAVE
YOU GOT INTO
WITH 'THOSE
OSE
PACKAGES?.
By. J. R. Williams
-TI-LATS EXACTLY YOUR )1
61-1APE! 1F YOU'D PUT
YOUR.' HAND OUT WHEN
You 5TOP SO QUICK
TO LOOK AT STUFF
t WOULDN'T GIT MY-
SELF 50 BUMPED
UTA SHAPE!
O
11.111,.
((1
h��1 171
•'��
'lf
_I
11(11111
;j7YJItLIFM�j
WHY MOTHERS GET GRAI cera ,x. or a•, nry+ar:,ac r. , ".c U. A. ter. ort.
•
He'll Find Out
Algy was, or had been, Aunt
Matilda's favorite nephew. I'is
name was still on her list for the
New Year gift distribution.
"What did you give him last
year?" asked her companion.
"A. cheque," said auntie. "an 1.
poor boy, he told me he couldn't
find words with which to thank
me."
"And what are you givine 1:m
this year?"
"A dictionary."
IT MEANS A LOT when
the meal includes Maxwell
House. This marvellous
coffee is extra delicious
because it contains choice
Latin-American coffees...
the finest the world pro-
duces.
12 roN YS 25` ORUGSTGR[S
:. Look for this sign for
leadership in the field of
modern insecticides, fungi-
cides and herbicides 'for
farm and garden. Your
dealer will have full inform-
ation soon.
*Trade Mark Reg -
LOOK FOR THE "GREEN CROSS'/
We Have
Prospective Purchasers
We have prospective purchasers
for properties near Windsor, To-
ronto and Niagara Falls., Write,
giving Its- particulars.. Guaranty
Trust Company of Canada,
Windsor,Toronto, Niagara Falls,
About Turn
The young man in the dock was
charged with 'disorderly conduct.
Eyeing him coldly, the magistrate
asked his profession,
"My client' is a professional foot-
baller explained the defendant's
lawyer; "he plays outside -right for
his team,"
"Be does does he? said the ma-
gistrate coldly. "Well he'll have
to change his .position. He'll be
right ,inside for .the next foip'leen
days!
Beginning
Next
Week
" The
Farm
Forum
i3
15
News and Views of
Particular latei'el to
Ontario Fanners,
Canadian Government,
Municipal and
Corporation Securities
In matters relating to investment or
the underwriting and distribution of
securities, the facilities of our organ-
ization arc always at your disposal.
Security offerings furnished
upon request.
Wood, Gundy & Company
Limited
Winnipeg TORONTO i'anantvee
Ottawa Montreal Nov fork vki"rin
London. Eng. Hamilton Khelener London. Ont
REG'LAR FELLERS—Part of the Job
by GENE BYRNES
CORPRIL DUFFY,I
EVERY FIR ST CLASS
ARMY ORTER HAVE.
A QUARTERMASTER' SO
POP — Floored ... . By Courtesy
OF COURSE.
YOU'LL ITS
TELL ME WHAT'A QUITE
QUARTERMASTER Does, SINtPLC-
I'M KINDA FOGGY ON,
THAT ANGLE RIGHT NOV
-YR FIRST JOB�
WILL BE. T' DIG ME \
UP A QUARTER.
JOMEVN ERFS FOR.
A .r MOVIIE TH'
WELL, SO HAD
IL I'M
'
f'"
1
THI5 ARMY AN'
APPOINTIN'
YOU IT!
'rWs
"'
% I
,r, qr/
ltd i a
II�LIi• �s
WELL, NOW
GEN'RUL--
HANDSOME
OF YA1
lee
dA�
illi
reiw2
GEN'RULI
• j7' 's,
-
—
Y�tb �/1 @. ,/,
iaey
,
` ll.
I ., ,k ' /gj.' 4 , -- ".
t� f�s`w
POP — Floored ... . By Courtesy
of Pop
-
By J. MILLAR WATT
TREAT HIS Rie-,fiT HAW,
WITH RESPECT
E)CG.USt
,AY f LOVE
•4
,� "
)
��i�'
-01C16neC
bYCUo Hell > I;rwr T•r)_..
_ ?. �c
��..J�fi%/G
Y.,