The Seaforth News, 1946-02-14, Page 6i
Time. Is Nothing
We're, inclined to attt•II 'A9 gos•
pel anything that abuse 1'tussialc'
grenadiers who serve es dourtneaa
at the big movie 'huusi•s choose t'
yell down our throats. lout we
were somewhat flustered ,the oilier
night, when we heard the one out-
side the Astor Theater announce
clearly, "There will be munediete.
seating in half an hour."
Peace Spectacle
To the children of bomb -scarred
England peace has brought many
wonderfulthings, things never
known before to the small fry
whose memories are too short to
recall the days beforethe war,
A little girl in London, return-
ing home on a bus, looked hard
at the young man' collecting the
fares, and exclaimed excitedly,
"Oh, look, Grandpa) It's a man
conductress."—Wall Street Journal,
A Drawback
'"My poor fellow," said the old
lady, "here is a shilling for you.
Goodness, gracious, it must be
dreadful to be lame, but just think
how much worse it would be if you
were blind,"
"Yer right, lady," agreed the beg-
gar. "When 1 was blind I was al-
ways getting counterfeit money"
Too Late
After leaving his church the min-
ister -stopped to shake hands with
a voting woman who was a new
mrnther of his congregation. In
the ruurPe of cUuwcrsalion the min-
ister remarked huw pleased lie al-
ways was to welcome new mem-
bers to the church.
Tlie young woman' blushed
prettily.
"It's very kind of you to say so."
Not at all,' replied the minister.
"Just let me have your name and
address,' and t will be able to call
and see you,"
"Ohl" stammered tlie girl. "1—
er—l'm afraid you're foo late. I've.
got a boy friend already."
Cheap.
A doctor.'was knocked up in a
small village about 3 a.m. by a
man who asked him to cone out
immediately to a place ten miles
away. The doctor dressed quickly
and got out his car, and they drove
furiously to their destination.
Upon arriial the man asked:
"What is your fee, doctor,"
"Half a guinea," 'he replied in
some surprise,
"Here it is, then," said the man
handing over the money, "and
cheap, too. The garage man
wanted thirty bob to drive me
over." •
SIDE GLANCES
By Galbraith
r
-ern. tsre, 05 NEA SERVICE. INC. 1. 8. REG. e. 5. PAI. 055.
"Mom, I invited Dorothy over for dinner—she doesn't
eat much and she's a whiz on fractions!"
e
U. S. REPRESENTATIVE
(HORIZONTAL Answer to Previous Puzzle
1,6 Pictured
new U. S.
Representa-
tive, Mrs,.
--e
Luce,
11 Weep.
14 Fun.
15 Idolize..
16 Falsehood.
17 Aromatic
plant.
18 Tellurium
(symbol).
19 Year (abbr.) . 49 Powerful -•
20 Russian river. explosive
21 Uncommon. (abbr.).
23 Diaphanous. 50 Leader.
25 Ocean. 54 Age.
27 Each (abbr.). 55 United King -
28 Entangle. dom .(abbr.).
31 Right (abbr.)..56 Rhode Island
32 Arabian (abbe).
garment. 57 Australian
35 Beverages, bear,
37 Dry. 58 Intellect.
38 She has 59 Punitive.
written sev- 61 Mistake..
eral —. 62 So. (Scot.).
40 Pocketbook. 63 Famous BeI-
41 Young goat. gian violinist
43 Sanctified who died in
person. 1931.
46 Table linen. 64 Article of
VIRGINIA MORASS
AMERCES'tu'f•RE CA STS
SPREE S��=TiL ATA, �t�SE
R
_PANE
P C
VIRGI NIA
P
CA
S KC AN
S NT
LE
E ft
PI
EC
RA
A�
T
E
(�Tw
H
1
T
0
E
!-f
AZT
E
r,
aye BETAMR
CAGE xaPES
H E,
AR
AI
P.
E
R
E
L
E
P NGS
ER s_is
RSflR I
A
C
0
A
T
A
C
0
RN
E
0
C,
f-1
MO
N
D
value.
VERTICAL
1 Burn.
2 Moon goddess.
3 Mohammedan
noble (var.).
4 Flowers.
5 Before,
6 Flying
mammal.
7 Poem.
8 Hawaiia. n
bird.
9 Attempt.
10 Frames for
drying skins
for parch-
ment.
11 Ball of thread
•
12 Prevalent.
13 12 months.
22 Rank.
24 Laughter
sound.
26 Erbium
(symbol).
28 Cartograph.
29 Every.
30 Afternoon
party. ..
32 Arrive (abbr.)
33 Twice
(prefix).
34 American
humorist.
36 Small stream'
(var.).
37 Originators.
39 Like sirup.
40 Promissory
note .(abbr,).
42 Levees (var.).
43 Deviate.
44 Imbecile.
45 That thing.
46 Fresh tidings,
47 Operatic solo
48 Top of head.
51 Auricles.
52 Liliaceous
plant.
53 Short lance.
57 Parrot.
60 Symbol for
sodium.
1
2.
3
4
5
�� /
�)�l,
6
7
5
9
,0
FLOOR AN'
11
12
!3
4
•
wAnluNUl I
5140104 }� ��--}.-
A----\,_ ii,�i�,=
MAKE IT
T SUPPOSE
YOU
IrM
BRIGADIERil
IS
fJPj
Y� Tk 6E WERE PILOTS'
- LICENSES'Q
° °-
''�
-i
ZELL
16
SNAPPY/rr.�
'7
.1
uc.l ..
MEANS
E10..
EI-EYAT R
18
y �I h�
. /"�
I
T41-Ae
'' •
19
%i'^
`e.
30
11
'
Is'R6 Jb.S(Ooofi
Y
_._ o, N. Est. o9i,a A "pm. rnen
, 1,1 14145, -;.•.
> ,
,/� !�;
,?A
33
i
RP 1
/ 41161:
!
A.iik"c/
=Y
-
33 •34
..',..
28
35
30
rrtJi.
'
) 32
33
•'•4
35
36
^t�
',
V.
,
pc
rr' 39e4.0
38
39
40 •
---
10.450 51
•
41
43,i•:3 [543
i
'RPAeb
49
4g
45
'
53
53
46
49
48
54
"
55
p,)jk
•(f/,1
fa:,
56
`
57 •
Se
deteessee
59
60
61
63
63 •
",
64
4
Well Suited
Having chosen the cloth for a
new suit and had his measure-
ments duly taken, the young man
said apologetically to the tailor:
"I'm afraid 1 shan't be able to
pay you for three months,"
"That's quite all right," the
tailor said amiably,
"Olt, jolly, decent of you1" said
the young man. "When will the
suit be ready."
"In three months, sir," was the
polite answer,
A Full Plate
"Now, Tommy," said the teach-
er, " let me see how much you
remember of my lesson on whale
fishing. Can we cat the flesh of
the whale?"
"Yes," answered Tommy.
"Good boy," said the teacher
"and what do wedo with the
bones?"
There was a moment's pause,
and then Tommy said with de-
termination: "We leave them on
the side of our plate, miss."
VOICE aF THE }
PRESS
1.
Lower Education
An elderly acquaintance, of pl-
h•t
osophical.tendencies, in discussing
the current wave of iuvenile and
adolescent delinquency says "A pat
on the back is .i good thing, pro-
viding it is applied early enoii,,.0
life, often enough, and low
enough."
- :St. Thomas Times -Journal.
Hal Hal
A psychologist says that in 100
years people will have nothing to
I:, ugh at. We don't get it. There
will be old albums, with pictures
of the ladies' hats of 1946.
—Ottawa Citizen
The Weaker (?)' Sex
Woman may be physically
weaker than man', but she can pat
a cap on a fruit par so tight he can't
take it off1
—Wall Street Journal
Smart Fellow
As the old fellow suffering from
lumbago said, when he struggled
out of the chair: "It's the getting
up that gets me down."
—Stratford Beacon -Herald
Relative Values
A cheque on your overdraft at
the bank is valueless, But a check
or,your living expenses is as good
se cash.
—Quebec Chronicle Telegraph
You WIT( Enjoy Slaying At
The St. Regis hotel
TORONTO
O Every Room lvitl- Mrth,
Shower and Telephone.
▪ Single, $2.50 up —
Double, 53.50 -up.
O food Food, Dining and Danc-
ing NlghQy.
Sherbourne al Carlton
Tel. ISA. 4135
Fiery, Itching Skin
(Gets Quick Relief
Here is a clean stainless penet-
rating antiseptic ,oil that will bring
you speedy relief from the itching
and distress of Eczema,. Itching
Toes and Peet, Rashes and skin
troubles.
Not only does this healing anti-
septic oil promote rapid andhealthy
healing in open sores and wounds,
but boils and simple ulcers are also
quickly releived. In skin affections
— the itching of Eczema is quickly
stopped; the eruptions dry up and
scale off Is a very few days. The
same is true of Barber's Itch, Salt
Rheum and other skin eruptions,
You can obtain Moone's Emerald
Oil at any modern drug store.
HOLD EVERYTHING
f;QM 19x, BY nt_,.svlCa. MC. 9. s. “to. V. • Nr. on.
"Ooh—honorable commander
must have lost face!"
Selling Tip
When Thomas Lipton was a
youngster : e spent much time in
his father's grocery store and wit-
nessed, with unmistakable disap-
proval, the elder Lipton's lack of
showmanship. One day he watched
unhappily as his father attempted
to sell a customer a half dozen
eggs. After the customer had gone
he said:
"Father, you should let Mother
sell the eggs."
Why?" asked the father in sur-
prise.
"Well," replied the future mil-
lionaire, "Mother's hands are a lot
smaller than yours, and the eggs
would look bigger."
THE SPORTING THING
"Pa's the patient type!"
MUTT AND JEFF Maybe They Should Have Ordered A Sinatra Sandwich A La Fromage By BUD FISHER
GOSH,I DONT
KNOW WHAT
THESE FUNNY
NAMES MEAN!
t•l a•44
I'LL ORDER FoR
YOU, JEFF! I KNOW
ALL ABOUT THESE
FOREIGN DISHES!
T WAITER,
BRING US
sPIMONIO
VER
BRING US
SPIMONIb
VERMATELLI -
HERE, oNTHE
MENU! COME
COME, WAITER
HURRY!
ITS- ER•
YJELL,YOU'LL
SEE! YoU'LL
LIKE IT!
YES, I'M THE
NEW OWNER
of THE PLACE
Only • His Watch
A well-tb-do Negro had been 111
for some tittle • and showed no
signs of fntproventeil under'treat-
tient by a doctor of his own race.
So presently he dismissed hila) and
summoned a white man.. The new
doctor examined tiie patient. and
then asked: "Did the other doctor
take Your' temperature?"
The sick many 'slioolc' his head
doubtfully;
"I dunno, suli," he declared, "1
sarti,ny dunno. All I've missed so
far is my watch.
Experience Necessary
"Madam," said : the new care-
taker to the lady who had iust
employed him, "I want to thank
you for 'giving ate the lob, and
ask you one question. 1 notice that
you advertised ftir,a married man:
Does 'that mean that you will have
some work in your Roane for my
wife?"
"Oh, no," replied the woman.
"I wanted a married mar) so as to.
be sure I'd get someone used to
taking orders from a woman."
Wall Street Journal,
Yes—Mothers
BUCKLEY'S
STAINLESS
WHITE RUB
Does Give
Faster Relief
This faster penetrating. Rub really does
bring quick relief to either kiddies or
grown-ups. Rubbed briskly over chest;
throat and shoulder blades, it helps
create a'glowing warmth, breaks up con-
Wgestion, eases breathing—BUCKLEY'S
HITE. RUB must give relief in less
time or money back. Price 30e and 50e:
Sold everywhere.
RUCKLEY's
ST4I N (LESS
WHITE RUB
REG'LAR FELLERS—Going Up!
OKAY; MEN THIS LL
GETCHA AIR -MINDED !
ESY EASY STAGES.
t�l L^ .
TI -115 IS THE SECOND TEST--
WHEN WE FINISH WE'LL
TRY TW' LAST AN'
TOUGHEST
J III
��
FORTY-NINTH
1f
! �� i ,
• ��
�� /
�)�l,
By GENE BYRNES
MEN --I'M I-lAhhY TO SAY YOU
COMPLETED YH' DUGAN AERONAUTICAL
COURSE WITH FLYIN' COLORS--�
— �=
�l
OF ALL/
FLOOR AN'
"l ` '
GOIN'
EREFORE, I'M PROUD T' GIVE
...,
•,
wAnluNUl I
5140104 }� ��--}.-
A----\,_ ii,�i�,=
MAKE IT
T SUPPOSE
YOU
IrM
BRIGADIERil
,
fJPj
Y� Tk 6E WERE PILOTS'
- LICENSES'Q
° °-
''�
-i
ZELL
�`*Y t1Ay�`5
SNAPPY/rr.�
.1
uc.l ..
MEANS
E10..
EI-EYAT R
4�[
0
y �I h�
. /"�
I
(
i
%i'^
`e.
/��•� �1
/ i- (.W/�
t l- �
'
Is'R6 Jb.S(Ooofi
Y
_._ o, N. Est. o9i,a A "pm. rnen
, 1,1 14145, -;.•.
> ,
,/� !�;
III
,
,114
uL�y
i
RP 1
/ 41161:
!
A.iik"c/
=Y
POP—Pop's
P.
..
ttl.'.
Impressed
I WANT TO
THE COLONEL
''"
SEE
s',;
.
by Rank
11
. ��y '
`•'
'
By J. MILLAR WATT
TAKE
A
SEAT
• ,
1.
i
I
..„,„„,„ ......
.
...,
•,
?
so
0O'
'
$1
T SUPPOSE
YOU
IrM
BRIGADIERil
KNOYV
THE
OHS IN THAT CASE,
•TAKE TWO
SEATS I
t 1
., ,
d rd
7°,71.i4; .... ii'
•
9
z<
/
° °-
''�
,
uc.l ..
•,::
•:... i......