Loading...
The Seaforth News, 1949-07-07, Page 3Where Monkeys Are An .A,ctual. Pest Except for one bizarre plague, Durban, South Africa, is as charm - Mg a ,city as you'll find anywhere. lits curse •is monkeys — conniving, thieving,, cantankerous little beasts. How the nionkeys got there no one knows, but there they are, by the hundreds, as free from control as our own park squirrels. A law imposes a jail sentence or fine on anyone who maltreats a monkey. Durban is divided into those who think that monkeys are just too cute and others who look on them es agents of the devil. The latter are ,people who live with the mon- keys in.the suburbs and on the edge of town: They know from sour, personal experience that the mon- keys are rowdy, impudent and im- moral — dead-end kids who will steal everything not locked up or riveted down. If a resident leaves a window or door open, in come half a dozen monks. They" -teat everythinglying ground,. They smash eggs and throw glasses against the wall. They open the ice boxes, eat what they can and strew the rest on the floor. They tip garbage pails and, steal the silver and anything else that glitters. 1n one house they goi. hold of a stack of phonograph re- cords and bad a 'delirious time Dealing them against a tree in the yarrO• Outdoors, the monkeys climb the Emit frees and eat the mangos and avocados. They tear down grape- vines by swinging on them, If' you paint your house, the monkeys dab- ble in the wet paint, walk on the roof; they like its stickiness and color. One irate housewife called up the Durban city clerk: "What do you think I 'am — monkey tamer?" "Have you tried a dog?" the man poked. "Yes, I've tried a dogl" she cried. "He was a big, brave dog. The monkeys have made a snivel - Mg, fear -ridden wretch of him." The dogs do their best. They leap • and bark, but what's so agile as a monkey? A monkey raid arouses every dog for a mile around and the monkeys love it. It's hubbub, din end pandemonium. "The monkeys are bad because ihey don't get enough to eat," said t member of the City Council one .fay. "Let's feed them." The council Argued a long time but finally voted to try the idea. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals laid out scrump- tious meals of carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes. Hitherto, the mon- keys had been content merely to uproot garden vegetables, and scat- ter them about. Now they had a taste for them. No fence, scarecrow or other device of mere man could keep thtn1-out of the gardens. The city elders were shocked by what the little angels were doing to the gardens, A prize of $50 was offered to anyone who could work out a way of ridding Durban of lls'gangsters — without hurting the gangsters. "Give the monkeys brandy and get them drunk," Wrote one man. "When they're sleeping it off, take them a couple of hundred miles away.'" A second proposed tear gas and .nets; another, soaking food in . _:ulorphine, One man came along with a trap baited with bananas. It worked the Arai day, catching 20 monkeys. The second day the bag was exactly one ,monkey. After that, it caught none. Letters by the pound were flood- ing into the newspapers. "They have ripped all' the clothes off my line two weeks in succession now."" . "The snontteys have stolen five priceless teaspoons that came to me Isom my great-grandmother in England." - .. "They have already caused $75 worth of damage. Who pays for it?" One man announced that, law or no law,- he was going leo shoot the next monkey that dam- aged his property. "I live at purga- tory's door," wrote one "Distracted Ifousewife." That's fairly typical. Meanwhile, each Sunday on one of the city's lovely drives, you see AFTER THE SHIN-DIG—vv,,mn.n vvenaer aria ms wue .lean display their plaster casts following an operation in which a por- tion of his shin bone was grafted to hers in en attempt to heal an old injury to her leg: Both casts will be removed soon if the operation proves successful. monkey -lovers lined up, hundreds of them, with peanuts and corn, chunks of pumpkin, bunches of bananas. The monkeys are cute little fellows, the kind we call or• gan-brinder monkeys, and they take the food right out of your hand. Let your hand dangle empty, and a monkey will bite it. Everyone has fun. But even the most saccharine monkey admirers have had to admit that the people who live on the out- skirts have a case. The council en- gaged a big -game hunter, Captain G. L. Jones, as official monkey - catcher. For an experimental period of five months, he was-te catch at least 150 a month, and catch them alive. But he managed to catch only 48 in three months and then gave up and went off -on a safari in Cen- tral Africa, The householders are still wondering how to get rid of the monkeys Suite Of It One of those super *intelligent col - Lege seniors entered the dean's of-' fice, coughed to attract the dean's attention,and 'said: "Sir, I am gratified to announce that your daughter has accepted my proposal of marriage. However, since marriage is`such an important.. step, I wish to proceed with cau- tion. Ah, er, may I ask, sir, is there any insanity in your family?" The dean regarded the young man a moment in grave silence, then replied, quietly: "Yes, yes, I'm sure there must be." Answer to Crossword Puzzle N A M A C GA'1 &LEY 6R HOME OwNERs wit' SE INTERESTED IN THIS HANDY BUCKET HOLDER WHICH AT- TACHES ON TO THE BIDE OF ASTEPLAD- DER. NO LONGER WILL YOU HAVE TO PERFORM ATIGHT-ROPE ACT WHEN WASHING THE WINDOWS ON YOUR HOUSE. CONSTRUCTED OF MISCELLANEOUS PIECES OF STEEL SHEATHING AND WIRE BRACKETS,THIS. GADGET HAS A MULTITUDE OF USES POR HIGH ALTITUDE WORK AROUND THE. HOME. BESIDES A WATER PAIL 1T WILL HOLD SCREW- DRIVERS, PLIERS, BRUSHES, HAMMERS AND OTHER TOOLS s 1 ;cll0401:1 EOM fitREGUR! FOR THE HOUSEWIFE' WHO IS PLAGUED WITH BOTHERSOME j, BITS OP LOOSE PLASTER WHICH REFUSE TO REMAIN IN PLACE, THIS SIMPLE PAPER P11NN11'L Is THE ANSWER, IT 15 AN EFFICIENT TIMESAVING DEVICE AND MAKES CER- TAIN THAT PLASM OP PARIS PATCHES WILLIES FIRMLY ANCHORED VINE LATH, What's New At - The C:N"Eo Heard about that ham and eggs competition at this year's C.N.E.? Every campfire cook and Sunday morning breakfast artist in the country is invitedto come along and try their luck with some haul and a couple of eggs. The Ex. will provide you with ham and eggs, then supply the stove, the frying pan and the flipper. And just like in the panealce-making contest last year,not even the winner will be forced to eat his own ham and eggs! Contest takes place in the Col iseum, August 31, with $50 for the top winner; $40 for whoever comes second, $30 to the third prize win- ner, and $20 for fourth. Get your entry in •now to the wontee's di- rector, C.N.E., and receive a tree admittance ticket for the big day, Fear No More Fear no more the . heat o' the slm, Nor the furious winter's rages; Thou thy worldly task hast done, Home are gone, and ta'en thy wages; ' Golden Tads and girls all most, As chimney -sweepers, come to dist. Fear no more the frown o' the great Thou art past the tyrant's stroke; Care no more e'e clothe and eat, To thee the reed is as the oak. The sceptre, learning, physic, must All follow this, and come to dust. Fear no more the lightning flash, Nor the all-drearled thunder - stone; • Fear not slander, censure rash; Thou hast finished joy and moan All lovers young, all lovers must Consign to thee, and come to dest- —Shakespeare. Mystery Solved When the new minister came to the little ohurch, the col}gregation was naturally interested in learning something about his former life. They were told he had once worked in some bbsiness establishment, but he . seemed loath to talk about it. When their new shepherd discour- aged all inquiries about his earlier occupation, they were obliged to hope for_ a revealing gesture from the finger of -fate. Fate was not long in accommo- dating them. The other Sunday, near the end of his sermon, the new clergyman made this moving .ap- peal: 'The Kingdom of Heaven awaits you today! This is your golden op- portunity; it may never come to you again. Remember, this may be your last chancel Friends, what am I bid?" Rel %�-�� .� HRONIC E ¶i1NGER£RM Gv en.d.olir.e P. Ctaxlce So many coincidences have oc- (tarred just recently — coincidences w'ha h, if a little rottiance ' were wrapped around them, would make good stories. As it is, they are all —well, just coincidences. Coming home on the bus from Toronto last week, I was talking to a fellow passenger whose wife came from Bournemouth, Eng., which is also the home of Partner's sister. I hap pened to remeinber this and said to him, "Tell your wife we have another visitor from Bournemouth." (Cicely 'was the first, and they met her last year). "Oh, is that 'so . . and when did she arrive?" he asked. I told him. "Well, what a strange thing, ,My brother-in-law has just come over, too, and he also was on the Empress of France." So you see what l mean - two people, unknown to each other, left at the same time, from the same town in England, traveled on the' same boat, and then came to the same little town in Ontario. Now if they had been pretty much 01 an age, and unattached, just see the possibilities for a romance. But in this case the opportunity was wasted as the boy is 16 and my sister-in-law is older than I am. Too bad! Then, how about this: Last week I went to our W.I. district annual. After the meeting, a lady came up to me and said, "You are Mrs. Clarke, are you not?" I had to confess that I was. "Then you carne from Chaplin, didn't you?" Chap- lin! I couldn't believe my ears. Chaplin is a little village on the Saskatchewan Prairie that we left 2F years ago. ft is such a small place that 1 never expected to meet anyone again who had ever been there. And yet, here in busy On- tario, was someone who knew all about it. I was thrilled. During our all too short conversation, I dis- covered this lady had lived in the Chaplin -district until eight years ago. "We were there all through the depression;" she said. Just then I saw a fellow Institute worker with whom I had been given a ride. and I knew she was waiting for me, so 1 had to go. But ever since 1 met the lady from the West, her chance remark has'haunted me— "We were there through the de- pression!" Just one short 'sentence and what a lot may lay behind it. Heaven only knows the depression down here was bad enough, but imagine living through a depression in the Dust Bowl of Canada. I hate to think of it. We were on the Prairie long enough for me to realize lust about what that would mean We think the heat and con. tinucd dry weather down here is terrible, but think what it would he like on the shadeless Prairie. Yes, even in this, the worst drought this part of Ontario has ever experience(!, I can still look around and think how much we have to be thankful for. We are going to he hard bit, there isn't a doubt about that, but surely once in a decade we should be able to take a poor year without too much grumbling about it. Generally speaking, we have good -to -average crops year after year. When winter conies our barns are nearly always well filled; mows loaded to the beams with hay and grain, and the cat,le contentedly munching away at the good feed in their mangers. Actually right now it is the'cat- tle we worry about the most. There is so little feed for them and the poor things must feel the heat ter- ribly. Fortunately, we have plenty of shady spots in our fields, but sometimes, when driving along the road, we see cattle pastured in fields where there isn't one bit of shade—almost as bad as those arid Prairie fields around Chaplin that i remember so well. Some folks blame this torrid heat on zealous politicians — they say' it will be cooler after the elec- tion. There may be something to that for there is certainly plenty of of bisect SiopiTcNB Ras, Quickl Stop itching of insect bites, heat rash, eczema, hives, pimples, scales, scabies, athlete's footf�o7Band other externally caused skin troubles_ PRESCRIPTION. toRnESC quick-acting soothing, antiseptic statutes*. O. DReitt etohke �, Ifs D. PRESCRIP' 10YEZm thuggilit hot air circulating throughout the country, no. matter whereyou go. As for the. radio — I am afraid sometimes that all the tubes will burn out.• -A funny thing happened the other night. A very impassioned speech was being broadcast when suddenly.. , . whiff and a.fuse gave out. 1 amt wondering how Partner's sister is standing this weather, We haven't heard from her so we are hoping she is enjoying breezes from the lake somewhere or other. There is something tobe said for a cottage by the lake these days. And I have a standing invitation to visit in the Haliburton :region Wouldn'tlike. to gol It is too bad farm folks' busy time has to come in hot weather, isn't it? • "Now," began the architect, 11 you'll give me a general idea of the kind of house you need—" • "I want something," replied the husband, "to go with a door• knocker my wife brought home from Java." £ DDLES MI • GENUINE UNIVERSAL OFFICERS' 'MI TYPE r ,.:▪ ,'�+ :..... WITH II, ADDLE BLANKET .95 :• •'JORTH $50.00! Fs LIMITED QUANTITY! Iii ORDER YOURS EARLY! 788—Top grade riding saddle 101 lusued to cavalry officersand pin reenlled. Porfeet condition. Built 657 over a strong steel frame pluo t,nrdwood panel base. STEEL STIRRUPS, STIRRUP STRAPS no AND SUROINOLE INOLUDED PLUS LARGE ALL WOOL BLANKET! cost $loo to produce .'. •,t today' s ',addle prices. Ship. Wt., 24 lbs. Delivery charge extra. o.It SADDLE WITH 'iXTRAS, PRICES2409 iii COMPLETE F lir ]Ea a tkf i.. The Sunday school teacher had just concluded a revigw of the day's lesson, "And now, children," she enquired, "who ,can tell me what we must do before we can ex- pect forgiveness of sin?" There was a pause, but finally one little boyspoke up. "Well," he mused, "first we've got to sin." Going Fishing? Improve 'yol},-r chances with "GETS -'EM"—artificial worms (plastic) fortified with ox -blood. They squirm like live worms, can be used for all types 1 fish- ing where live worms are used., Endorsed by users everywhere. They save you time and money. ' 1 ARl/f/C✓,4Lli�liPAA 'r� Bi�/% SIZES FDR-PINE,PIQ(ERELEµSt AND ALL DAME RES: Women like them because they're absolutely clean, no slime or odor. Over 12 millions sold in United States: Now being pro- duced in Canada. 50 cents a packet of 12. Send ONE DOLLAR for two 'full size packets (postpaid). Try "GETS 'EM" artificial worms today—they'll improve your catch If Your Local Dealer Cannot Supply You, Write . PACKAGE MAR PAX SALES 921 WOODBINE AVE., Toronto, Canada Satisfaction Guaranteed $4.99 pair everts eloocasin camp Crepe Sole Oxford, rich Bur. Randy shade leather. made on full fitting comfortable last, otoedily built for appearance and long wear. Im- mediate delivery. Sloes 8 to 11, in- cluding half glace Postpaid u mono' order or cash pout with order Hunter -Billings Shoes 1513 Gerrard St. East Toronto, Ontario Phone GE. 8858 DOES INDIGESTION WALLOP YOU BELOW THE BELT? Help Your Forgotten "28" For The Kind 04 Relief That Helps Make You Rarin' To Go Moro than half of your digestion L done below the belt—in your 28 feet of bowelo, 80 when indigeotton etrikee, try eopie that helps digestion in the stomach AND below the belt,WhCarter's is Little Pills tot give neededi help to 01105 orgotten 28 foot" of bowels. and one after meals Take them accordingg to dirootione. They help wake up a larger flow of the 8 main digeotive juices in your stomach AND bowels—help you digest what you have eatoa in Naturo'o own way. Tmakhen ee youuot feel hotter from you', d head to your toes. Just bo Dura you get the genuine Carter's Little Liver P01, from year druggist -85a "" i;f' you, want to be really bright brush up with NUGG` Z r BLACK. OX -BLOOD. AND ALL SHADES OF BROWS! I DID YOU tikos- 'P.IVORi:sHofi t jMORNIi3G?