The Seaforth News, 1960-06-30, Page 2flet The Collection
On A Sure Things!
All eyes in the packed country
ithureh were on the pink -cheek -
ed bride. The whispers which
had surged through the congre-
gation at the start of the wed-
ding service became louder,
For the bride, wearing tradi-
tional white, would obviously
soon be a mother. And the
beetle -brewed vicar of the Lin-
colnshire village was renowned
ler his caustic comments about
youthful immorality.
From miles around the slow-
epoken people of the Fenlands
had come in the hope of hearing
some biting comments from the
fiery clergyman.
Now the couple had been pro-
nounced man and wife. They
started to move from the altar.
The vicar gathered his cassock
about him. Xn a voice that would
have stopped the Devil in his
tracks, he said:
"You may leave here now with
the knowledge that you need sin
no more." His eyes swept over
the congregation. In acid tones
he added: "Which is more than
I can hope for the rest of you!"
Clergymen everywhere chuck-
led over that story, for it clearly
refuted the popular legend that
they are a drab, dull lot, precc-
rupicd with turgid sermons, de-
void of courage, lacking in hu-
mrur.
There was the Lancashire min-
ister who clashed with a local
:rill owner. The wealthy indus-
trialist
ndus-
tri:i, t had decided to look over
the minister's church. After
carefully inspecting it, he turned
to the cleric and boomed: "Of
course, I never go to church, Too
many hypocrites go there."
Instantly came the reply: "I
ehouldn t worry about that. I can
always fit one more in."
There was the opulent Ameri-
ean tourist who dropped in at an
Essex village church after the
last Christmas service. He but-
tonholed the rector and said:
""Say, your Reverence, what sort
of show do you put on here?"
The rector thought for a mo-
ment. Then he answered: "It's
not a bad one. It's been running
now for about 2,000 years!"
But it's not only visitors who
present posers for clergymen, A
Cornish vicar tells of the elderly
parishioner who sent him a
drinking trough for. birds. As
TASTY? — Joseph H. Firman, hu-
mor columnist for the Progress -
Bulletin in Pomona, Calif„ told
his readers he'd eat his column
if they would write him 100 let -
tiers. They did. He did. You're
night — it tasted awful,
ISSUE 26 — 1960
instructed, he placed it in the
viearage garden. A few day*
later the parishioner •brought
him a large notice board. The
vicar was told to erect the board
beside the trough.. The block -
lettered notice read: "This water
is not for sparrows."
A parson in Glamorgan receiv-
ed a visit from an eccentric old
lady. She told him that several
relatives of hers had decided to
settle in the village,
"Pin delighted," said the min-
ister, with visions of his congre-
gation being swelled.
!"I'ni not," snapped the old
lady, "What will happen when
they die? The family plot in the
churchyard is overcrowed as it
is."
A Westmorland minister tells
me of the night he heard bur-
glars in the church. It was late
at night. He slipped his clothes
on. Armed with a large poker
he tip -toed into the church.
There, by the poor -box, he found
his deacon looking for a shilling
for the gas meter,
But one of the oddest stories
came from a vicar in Surrey,
The church roof was in urgent
need of repair. But the money
was not forthcoming. Then his
chief sidesman came to him. The
man was a bookie and he made
this astounding proposal:
"Put the Sunday collection on
a 50 -to -1 cert in a race next
Monday."
That night the vicar prayed
for guidance. Finally he came to
a decision. He would gamble the
money, but if the horse lost he
would have it back!
The bookie agreed on this no-
thing -to -lose both -ways bet, and
the horse romped home. Today,
the church has one of the finest
roofs in the country.
Another tale that a clergyman
told against himself came from
Manchester. lie had gone to
comfort a wife after a bitter
quarrel with her husband.
Speaking soothingly, he re-
minded her: "When I married
you your husband said how
much he loved you. Surely, he
has done much to prove that to
you."
"Aye, he has," said the wife
bitterly. "We got four boys and
two girls,"
A Dorset rector told me about
a young man who came to him,
The youth was going to take a
job in London, and wanted help
on how to conduct himself in the
great city. The rector asked
what his salary would be,
"Eight pounds a week," an-
awered the lad.
The rector told him: "My son,
on that you can only lead a good
life, But if your salary ever
doubles itself, then beware of
the Devil!"
Biting, too, were the remarks
of the Scottish pastor before the
evening collection plate was
handed round. He gazed at his
congregation and in .sombre tones
said: "When I look at you, I ask
myself, 'where are the poor?'
But when I count the collection,
I wonder, 'where are the rich.' "
It worked. His collection was
doubled.
Talking of collections, the
story to cap them all came when
a bishop visited a theological
college. Eager to test the stu-
dents' reactions to everyday life,
he asked them how they would
disperse a crowd at the scene of
an accident.
A solemn -faced youth piped
up: "Take a collection, sir!"
Don't be unhappy if your
dreams never come true. Be
thankful your nightmares don't.
Tilt victim's heed ail
1 the way back to open air
passage. Try to keep
head lower than the rest
of the body, if possiele.
e
c
v
W
Blow through nose or
ntotith, making tight seat
over both with lips. Or
blow through mouth only,
closing nose with fingers.
J1 i
If chs does not in-
3 (late at first attempt,
quickly check to see if
throat is blocked by for-
tieth articles or tongue,
Inflate chest about 10
4 times a imitate --inhale
while the victim exhales.
Place a handkerchief on
the mouth, if desired,
!.MEATH OF LIFE -- Rescue breathing -- the use of a person's
breath to revive someone who is unable to breath for himself
- is the oldest and most effective form of resuscitation. An
improved technique is shown in sketches above and is recon.4
mended by the Red Cross and medical organizations, Ai''sen
of breathing movements, blue color in lips and fingernails arm
danger signs of lack of oxygen in the blood. When in do'4 L,
begin rescue brecrthineg; no harm Can result from it, The air
you wreathe is not "used up," It contains enough oxygen to
sieve a person's life. Two added notes: If virfim's stomach fills
with air, gently press it with your hand, And for infants, use
sm-it ir,flntions, about 20 times a minute,
A FEELING OF INDEPENDENCE — Dr, Barbara Moore, Russian -
born English citizen, rests in en Independence, Mo.,, hotel. She's
walking from coast to coast. Mentioning that she, expected to
live 100 years or more, Dr. Moore said that she eats griss and
recommends the Kansas variety,
42 ftT
Judd I,
i:di roc;
li ‘ I lis
, , , ,
.. , ,,, , ee •
1/421atur, Andrews.
What are teen-agers cooking
these days? Has 1960's young
miss succumbed to the age of
automation? Is she content
merely to heat a frozen dinner,
or rely on step-by-step package
mixes?
Seventeen Magazine editors
found some surprising answers
to these questions when they
conducted their sixth annual
Favorite Recipe Contest recently
in which teen-age readers were
invited to submit their best -
liked recipes.
Here is what the submitted
recipes show:
1. It's getting to be a small
world. Teen cooks no longer
stick to strictly American fare
like hot dogs and their well -
liked. Italian spaghetti and pizza.
Recipes for around - the - world
favorites cropped up among the
entries.
2. The perennial teen favor-
ites did appear, but in a variety
of new guises.
3. The young lady of the
house, although she tends to
rely on mixes, is not content to
simply follow directions and call
it a finished job. She adds her
own ingredients and steps in a
highly original way that her
mother would perhaps never at-
tempt.
4. Family recipes are no long-
er sacred. Many teen cooks feel
they can and do improve on the
traditional dishes.
5. The selection of foods the
teen-ager likes to make is end-
less, ranging front salads and
dips to full -course meals and
complicated desserts.
6. She likes to innovate with
exotic spices like saffron, curry,
oregano, and ginger.
Pizza is the only frozen main
dish she appears to favor as
party fare, 'though she doesn't
hesitate to serve frozen vege-
tables and juices to guests. She
does use frozen main dishes for
family consumption without any
sense of guilt, but, as Seventeen
points out, with her own special
flare she transforms this work -
saving cooking into de luxe
dining.
Lately, food producers have
been showing a growing interest
in the teen-age market; not only
are these young ladies the
homemakers of tomorrow, but
many of them are playing an
Active part in the management
and meal. planning of their
homes right now, Teen-agers are
sharing brand decisions and
meal choices with their mothers
snore than ever' before. The
cooking habits a girl cultivates
during these leen years are
likely to influence her home-
making in the future, So the
producers are on the right truck
when they look toward the
teen-agers to spot uc•w food
trends.
The homemaker of tomorrow
promises to be a far more orig.
inal cook than her mother, Per-
haps this can he explained by
the fact that many girls are
]earning to cook earlier than
their mothers, at an age when
experimentation overrides the
caution shown by more experi-
enced cooks, according to the:
Christian Science Monitor,
Tomorrow's housewife will
depend on frozen foods more
than her mother has, hut, as the
survey indicates, she won't be
content to warm up a frozen
dinner. She'Il use the hews)
dish as a starter, building her
own variations. By all indica-
tions, she'll bake more cakes,
cookies, and pies than her mo-
ther, and she'll often make them
"from scratch."
•
The grand -prize winner, herb
bread, is indicative of the new
trend. The young lady who
submitted it found the recipe in
an old cookbook, added herbs
for a new twist, and substituted
beating with an electric mixer
for the difficult and time-con-
suming process of kneeding.
Try this recipe on the party
buffet table as the base for a
tomato rarebit, or a superb ham
sandwich.
HERB BREAD
1 pkg, active dry yeast
1 cups warm (not trot) water
2 tbsp. shortening
tbsp, sugar
2 tsp. salt
13/4 sp. ethics borbes" blend
ee tsp, nutmeg
Se tsp. ground sage
3 cups sifted flour
Sprinkle yeast over water;
stir to dissolve. Add shorten-
ing, sugar, salt, herbs, nutmeg,
sage and half the flour. Beat
at medium speed in electric
mixer for one minute, Stop,
scrape well, then beat another
minute, Add remaining flour
and " blend with spoon until
smooth. Now cover with clean
cloth and let rise in warm place
until double in bulk, about half
an hour. Beat down with twen-
ty-five strokes of spoon, Put in
greased nine -by -five -inch loaf
pan, Let rise again till double,
about forty minutes. Bake at
357`F. (moderate oven) forty-
five to fifty minutes, Tap loaf
lightly—if it sounds hollow, it's
done, Butter top crust, Turn out
on rack to cool. Do not slice un-
til It is cool. Yield: one loaf.
µ µ A
Second -prize winner in the
dessert category, Mountain High
Lemon Chiffon Pie, relies on a
mix for the filling, but the crust
is made from scratch with a
dash of lemon concentrate for
added flavor:
MOUNTAIN HIGI1 LEMON
CHIFFON PIE
lee clips sifted flour
se tsp. salt
i;4 cup cooking oil
1 can (6 oz.) frozen lemonade
5 eggs, separated
Si cup sugar (about)
1 pkg. lemon pudding- and
pie -filling mix
First make the pie crust; Sift
flour and salt together into a
nine -inch pie pan. Combine ail
with two tablespoons lemonade
concentrate and pour over flour.
Stir with fork until well blend-
ed. Press evenly and firmly
into pan sides and bottom. Prick
and bake at 425° F, (hot oven)
eight to ten minutes until
browned. Cool.
While the oven is hot, make
the meringue: Beat three of the
egg whites until foamy, Add
one-half teaspoon lemonade con-
centrate, then gradually beat in
four tablespoons of the sugar.
Beat until stiff peaks ford
Grease an inverted eight-ino
round cake pan. Pile meringue
on top making tall peak in eerie
ter. Bake at 350° F. (moderate.
(Wen) about twelve minutes ea'
until browned, Cool in pan,
Now make the fillings Com-
bine the remaining lemonade
with two cups of water and set
aside one-half eup, Into the
lemon pudding mix, beat the
five yolks, one-third cup their
one-fourth cup prepared temp
onade and mix well. Add the re-
maining one and three -fourth*
cups lemonade and cook and
stir over moderate heat until
thickened. While pudding cools,
beat the two remaining egg
whites until foamy, then gradu-
ally beat in one-fourth cup su-
gar, continuing to beat until
peaky, Fold whipped meringue
into cooked pudding and pour
into cooled pastry shell, Loosen
baked meringue from cake pan
and gently transfer to top of
pie. Place in refrigerator tap
chill, at least two hours, Makee
one large nine -inch pie,
µ u Js
This pizza recipe won first
prize in the snack division. It le
remarkably quick and simple.
PIZZA PUPS
cup olive oil or other
shortening
1 garlic clove; heeled and.
sliced
VA cups tomato ;juic•e
1 tsp. salt,
Se tsp. oregano
to tsp, chopped par ley
!a tsp. pepper
4 frankfurters -
4 frankfurter rolls
3 oz. mozzarella cheese,
sliced
Heat oil in large skillet. Add
garlic; cook slowly until brown-
ed. Combine tomato juice, salt,
oregano, chopped parsley and
pepper. Cook rapidly (do not
cover) about fifteen minutes un-
til thickened, stirring occasion-
ally. Just before sauce is done,
adcl the franks and simmer three
minutes, When both are ready,
preheat broiler. Place Pranks on
rolls in a baking pan. Split
franks, fill with sauce and top
with the sliced mozzarella
cheese. Broil until cheese -melts,
about one minute. Makes four
pizza pups,
Reds Are Using Hong Kong
As Western World Market Window
By WARD CANNEL
Newspaper Enterprise Assn.
Hong Kong — "Special excur-
sion," the sidewalk hawker says
solemnly, "to Red China. Look
across the border. See Commun-
ists:"
But if the sworn enemy lives
26 quick miles away, he is mak-
ing no move to cover the dist-
ance.
On the contrary, if Formosa is
the Free World's show window
on Asia, Hong Kong is Red
China's window, door and mail-
box on the Free World.
And to complete the upside-
down picture, what Chiang Kai-
shek's land reform is doing for
the peasant on Formosa, Mao
Tse-tung's , self-interest is doing
for private enterprise and big
business in Hong Kong.
"Don't kid yourself," old
China hands say. "This place
may be called a British Crown
Colony. But it exists only by
Mao's sufferance, He could snap
it up faster and easier than any
place else in Asia.
"He may not love having Hong
Kong run by the West. It would
be like the U.S. finding New
York City and port run by Rus-
sians. But he needs this window
for ventilation."
Well, it is a rule of windows
that if you can look out, you can
also look in. Consequently, if the
Red Chinese agents in Hong
Kong can report to Peiping, Free
World agents can report to Hong
Kong.
"Americans, of course, are not
allowed to trade with Red
China," a U.S. consulate official
explained. "S o m e of us here
make sure of that. The rest of us
.. , uh ... gather news."
On the other hand, there is
nothing to stop British from
trading with the .Chinese, and
very little to stop• that resource-
ful smuggler, the American tour-
ist, from going home with hand -
carried items which were made
across the border.
Actually, according to officials
in the Philippine Republic, large
scale smuggling goes on all the
time between Red China and or-
ganized groups of Filipinos.
The goods — drugs, herbs,
foodstuffs — find a ready market
among Chinese who have lived
for generations in other Pacific
nations, The money and mer-
chandise are needed desperately
inside Communist China.
China does not have the ca-
pacity today to make quantities
of goods for legitimate export.
Most of what moves through
Hong Kong openly is handicrafts
in leather, rugs, ivory and jade.
China's big export is people.
At least 300 refugees make it
to the free port each week, but
who is to say why they have
come? Many, admittedly, are
fleeing the rigors of the com-
mune and that alien crop, the
sweet potato, that Mao wants
the people to eat,
"But," says a Nationalist
China government official in
Taipei, "we cannot open our
doors to all of these refugees,
even though thousands apply to
us for visas. Careful screening
shows that many of them are
Red agents in disguise."
With trade in goods down and
the export of people up, Hoeg
Kong should be in a severe de-
pression. But Mao — fenced in
by the Free World, Russia,
Southeast Asia Treaty nations
and India — has seen to it that
his show window on the West
is kept in good repair.
Foodstuffs grown and raised
in Red China flow across the
border to keep famine away
from Hong Kong. A chronic
drought will soon be remedied
by a water pipeline from Red
wells and springs. Overcrowding
has been remedied in part by
the 26 -mile territory leased by
Mao to the British for 09 years.
With trade from industrializ-
ing China down, Hong Kong has
been forced to industrialize — so
heavily that if you wipe year
brow, your handkerchief comes
away as dirty. And so far, Mao
has made no move to interfere
with the production or ship-
ment of raw materials from Freo
World forests and mines in
Southeast Asia.
Even the city's movie indus-
try — run by pawns of the
"decadent West" — is up to an
all-time high, of 250 Olins per
year. On the set of "The World
of Suzie Wong," a British picture
which explores East-West, co-
existence in intimate detail, one
technician said:
"We're probably using load*
of Tied agents and spies in our
crowd shots. You can't avoid if.
And they don't seem to mint."
n•' to` tl `s.F:i`V"<:1K KqY :: +:bv'(..x uA, rtcAfi
HONG leelt"';t: Mae need§ this window for ventilation.