The Seaforth News, 1958-11-13, Page 6-1411R—ST
7.‘ cm, ma, cet.marn,
"Dear Anr4 (-first: We have
always beeneery close to my
husband's family, and visited
back and forth all the time.
Lately, though, they seem to
have changed their attitude to-
ward me, and I cannot under-
stand
nderstand why.
"His mother tells me little un-
pleasant things about her other
children, and quotes tales
they've told, about me. (I am
sure she discusses my faults, and
perhaps they are getting even.)
I made the mistake of telling my
husband about it, and now he
doesn't ask me to go to see
them; 1 do know that he misses
going himself, too. Do you think
he is waiting for me to suggest
it? I dread that, for I don't feel
at home there now.
"If I resumed our visits, do
you think they might treat me
as they used to? Or shall I con-
tinueto stay away from them?
WORRIED WIFE"
* Whether she likes it or not,
o when a girl marries she mar-
* ries her husband's family too.
o One of her important duties
• is to get along with them —
o as you, I hope have decided to
o do,
* When a man is as devoted to
* his people as your husband,
* you as his wife dare not be
o unfriendly. Make up your
• mind to admire what virtues.
* they have, and overlook their
o faults, Since this unhappy sit-
* uation has come about do all
* you can to overcome it.
* Suggest to your husband
* that you resume your accus-
o tamed' visits. While there, try
o to forget all your mother -in-
* law said; you do not know her
* source, so take it for granted
o that the others still feel kind-
* ly toward you. Winning their
o good will is essential to your
o husband's peace of mind. If
* further unfortunate comments
* are made, overlook them de-
° liherately
o This is easier than you
* think. Your letter (which I
° had to condense) reveals a
o sympathetic and understand-
* ing nature that will stand
° you in good stead. Take it for
* granted from now on that they
* still like you, and play up to
* the Idea. I think they cannot
o help but respond.
* ° *
RE'S NOT FOR YOU
"Dear Anne Hirst: You advis-
ed two friends of mine, and they
appreciated it. Now will you
please tell me what to do? I am
in love with a boy I met two
months ago at an outing. My
mother liked him at first, but
now she has found out that he
drinks a little, so she won't let
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SIZE, NAME, ADDRESS, STYLE
IyUM]iER.
Send order to ANNE ADAMS,
Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St. New
Toronto, Ont
1ne, date hien. I -have to go out to
see him, and l` don't like to.
"He has asked me to marry
him, but I'm only 16 so how can
I without my mother's consent?
I've met his family, and they
all think I'm a -nice girl and ap-
prove of our marrying later.
What can I' do?
HEARTBROKEN"
* You will have to tell this
* boy you will not see him again
* until he has won your moth-
* er's approval. If he really
* cares for you, he will stop this
* drinking and prove to be
o worth considering as a hus-
* band.
* A boy his age who drinks
o is not a fit companion for a
* nice girl, and if you hadn't
* fallen in love with him you'
* would think so, too. Your
* mother knows this, and I agree
• with her, Your only course is
* to obey her to the letter.
° * *
One of a wife's initial respon-
sibilities is to stay friendly with
her in-laws, painful as it some-
times Is. She will overlook un-
pleasant straits and cultivate the
happy ones, and so keep her hus-
band conscious of her good will.
Anne Hirst will help you, too, if
you write her at Box 1, 123
Eighteenth St., New Toronto,
Ont.
Modern Etiquette
by Roberta Lee
Q. What are the courses that
make up a formal dinner?
A. There are five or more
courses. First, oysters or clams
on the half shell, or canapes, or
other light relish; or grapefruit,
fruit cup, or melon. Second,
soup, Third, fish. Fourth, game
or roast with two vegetables.
Fifth, salad. Sixth, dessert, fol-
lowed by fruit, nuts, candy, and
coffee.
Q. Lately I have noticed per-
sons of apparent refinement us-
ing toothpicks at the table. Is
this now considered acceptable?
A. Most certainly not. Tooth-
picks should never be seen 1n
use, at the table or anywhere
else.
Q. Is it rude for a woman to
remain seated while shaking
hands?
A. No — unless the other is an
elderly person and you are a
young one.
Q. My husband and I were
guests at dinner in some friends'
home recently and, in order to
help my hostess, I stacked my
used dishes as I finished eating
out of them. My husband says
this was incorrect. What is the
answer?
A. Your husband is right. Al-
ways leave your dishes as they
are when you finish eating.
Q. If it so happens that e
bride -elect has already had the
opportunity to thank a donor
verbally for a gift received, is it
still necessary for her to write
a note of thanks?
A. Yes, and just as soon as
possible.
Q. When making announce-
ments at a banquet, does the
master -of -ceremonies always rise
or may he remain seated?
A. If he wishes to exhibit good
breeding and courtesy, he will
rise for any announcement, no
matter how short it may be.
Q. I have received a set of
steak knives as a gift. Is it pro-
per for me to use these unmateh-
Ing knives with my regular
sterling silver forks and spoons?
A. It is quite proper to sub-
stitute steak knives for the reg-
ular silver knives when serving
steak.
Ail -m -m -m -m -ml Any way you
look at It, . shapely Marilyn
Monroe Is a cutch to dazzle
male moviegoers with this dress
she wears in her new movie,
"Some Like It Hot"
GILDED CAGE - Any bird looking for a gilded cage should
wing to builder Vittorio Falchi, who puts the finishing touches
to a gilded pagoda in Rome. The craftsman sells his cages for
about $100.
Last night I was lying awake
for quite awhile and, as one does,
I was thinking of this thing and
that. And, probably because 1
had been busy for the past week
canning and pickling, I thought
how much easier it is now from
what is used to be. I thought of
pre -hydro days when putting
down fruit and tomatoes meant
having the kitchen stove going
full blast and sweltering in a
hundred degree kitchen, For us
a three -burner oil stove was all
right for some things out be-
cause it was on the back porch
it meant a continual trotting
back and forth to the kitchen.
I remember, too, how annoyed I
used to get in reading over
recipes which, nine times out of
ten would say — "Set the timer
and bake in a pre -heated oven
at 35Q° for 35 minutes.' Often
I exclaimed, "For heaven's sake,
do these magazine publishers
think everyone has an electric
stove?" Then came the time
when we, too, had hydro. I'll
never forget the thrill of it. How
gladly I substituted the magic
switch on the wall for the smelly
cid coal -oil lamps. And yet, can
you believe it, that was only
thirteen years ago. Since then
hydro for rural use has greatly
expanded. Even so, f was won-
dering in the night hots many
readers of this column are still
without electricity. Not many
I hope. But I suppose there are
some in outlying d'astriets that
the hydro has not yet reached.
But at least they would be dis-
tricts where a good supply e.f
simmer wood is always avail-
able. And you know some people
declare that tea always tastes
better when the water is boiler
over a chip fire.
lrrom hydro in general 1 began
thinking of the old threshing
days. Ten or fifteen men for
at, least two days at a time. Two
n,eais a day and the threshers
themselves for bed and break-
fast. Stacks of pies, cakes and
biscuits and a fifteen -pound roast
each day — hot for dinner, sliced
cold for supper. It makes me
feel hungry to think of the meat
— rich, juicy beef — ellen our
own butchering. After each meal
it took at least an hour to clean
up the dishes, And then we'd
turn around and get ready tor
the next meal. But there was
always help. One or two neigh-
bours always 'phoned and in-
quired — "Have you help for
our threshing tomorrow — 1f
not I can come over in the
morning." Maybe we didn't
have hydro, and we certainly
didn't have combines but we did
have wonderful neighbours. Time
passed and farmsbecame more
and more mechanized. Threshing
machines and big threshing meats
were on their way out and the
,human element was pushed into
the background. Today i some-
times think farmers' wives have
never had it so good . . . but
then again I sometimes wonder!
The small hours of the night
are a good time for reviewing
situations past and present. In
the rush hours of the day we
don't always get the right pers-
pective. Our sense of values
gets sort of mixed up, as it were.
Another thing I remembered was
a little verse that more or less
outlined my philosophy when
the going was particularly' rugged,.
during the depression days, Here
It is author unknown.
"There was a woman who
wept because
That's the kind of woman she
was.
Finally sorrow sought her out
Gave her something to weep
about
Then she found weepier
inadequate,
Took to laughing—
And learnt on that"
How do you like it?
Well, from farming I ocean.
thinking of our youngest grand-
son — a year old today — beating
his birthday by walking two
days ahead of it. Grandchildren
are wonderful — we enjoy every
one of them — without having
the worry and responsibility of
continually looking altos them.
I thought being a grandmother
was a special privilege that every
another looked forward to. Now
I'm not so sure. Partner said
jokingly to a lady the other
day, "Hullo, Grandma, how are
you?" The lady was quite an-
noyed, said she didn't want to
be reminded of the fact that
she was a grandmother, it made
her feel much too old! And yet
the dear soul is already past 70.
How inconsistent can you get?
Especially in an era when being
a grandmother doesn't neces-
sarily imply old age. Go to any
W.I. meeting or church group
and see the smart women there
are around, and half of them
grandmothers. Yesterday I was
talking to an elderly lady o1 80
who, until she broke her hip,
had been driving her own car.
Slot that I am in favour of
people that age driving a car —
thhere is too much risk involved.
When I get to be 80 I shall be
quite content for someone else
to take over the wheel. For
that reason we are very glad
Daughter is seriously thinking
of taking driving lessons. Up
to now she has been too busy
with babies to even think about
it but now she feels the need of
being able to get herself around.
And we are very glad,
Right of the Dying
In the long ago, most people
died in their own homes with
only the family to attend them.
Today,the modern hospital pro-
vides professional care for the
patient and relief from pain at
life's end. But in this new way
of dying, "death may be robbed
of its dingity," Dr. John J. Far-
rell, of the University of Miami
School of Medicine, writes in
the State Medical Journal of
South Carolina.
The death beds I see today
(in modern hospitals) are not
particularly dignified. The -fam-
ily is shoved out into the corri-
dor by the presence of intra-
venous -stands, suction machines,
oxygen machines, oxygen tanks,
and tubes emanating from every
natural and several surgically
induced orifices. The last words,
if the patient has not been coma-
tose for the past 48 hours, are
lost.; behind an' oxygen mask
"In our pursuit of the scientific:
aspects of medicine, the art of
medicine has sometimes unjusti-
fiably suffered . Foch one of
us must strike a balance . . We
cannot "flow culpable ignorance
to mask itself in the guise of
Story Of A
Real _Hustler
From that first, fascinated
moment when he watched a
street` spieler in Minneapolis
peddle worthless wrist watches
at $5 a throw, 8 -year-old Avrom
Goldbogen realized with the in-
' tuitiveness of Barnum that
people will believe almost any-
thing, and that making them be-
lieve was to be his life's work.
Avruueele (little Avrom) forth-
with set out on his career by
conning the spieler into taking
him on as a shill at two bits a
day. The career ended 40 years
• later after Avrom, known as
I3ike Todd, hustled millions of
people into seeing what has been
called the greatest show now on
earth — his movie "Around the
World in 80 Days". The years
between have been chronicled
in "The Nine Lives of Michael
Todd", published this month.
It is the work of the late Art
Cohn, who died in the plane
crash that killed Todd last
March. Cohn worked for Todd
for two years in various capaci-
ties (one was as scenarist of
Todd's projected film version of
"Don Quixote"), and he suffered
from a pretty severe case o1
hero worship. If the halo he
placed rakishly on Todd's head
seems a trifle tarnished, it is
only because the showman him-
self wanted no one to consider
him anything but unethical. "I'm
a hustler and an opportunist,"
Cohn rather regretfully quotes
Todd as saying. "Show business
is honest larceny."
Todd's talent asserted itself in
his early years. He once talked
the manager of a movie theater
into letting him guard the fire
exit to keep kids from sneaking
in free. For the three months
Todd was stationed there, he let
in his pals for 5 cents apiece.
Next he worked for a carny
operator, hiding under the table
of a ball -throw game and, on
cue, tightening the spring in the
bottom of the basket so that
the balls bounced out and the
players went away prizeless.
After marrying a girl named
Bertha Freshman and making
and losing (at 19) a million dol-
lars in a construction business
that went bankrupt in 1928, Todd
drummed up a flame -dance at-
traction for the Chicago Ex-
position, then produced a show
called `Bring on the Dames". He
marched on Broadway en 1937,
opened a disaster called "Call
Me Ziggy", and fell out of love
with Bertha. Next he put Bill
(Bojangles) Robinson in a gold
suit and starred him in "The
Hot Mikado", a smash. It started
Todd's Broadway career moving.
The hits that followed included
"Something for the Boys",
"Mexican Hayride", "Up in
Central Park", and "As the Girls
Go".
When Bertha died in an acci-
dent in 1946, Todd married
actress Joan Blondell, was di-
vorced by her in 1950, went into
bankruptcy (caused in part by
gambling debts), and then snap-
ped back with a theatrical
hodgepodge called "Peep Show".
After producing a bust called
"The Live Wire", his 16th show,
and having grossed a total of
$18 million on Broadway, Todd
decided to give it up. He tackled
his first film, "Around the
World".
Originally budgeted at $3 nul-
humanitarianism; but neither
can we allow scientific achieve-
ment to preclude the right to die
with dignity, which is the right
of every man."
lion, it ended costing twice that
much. Cohn relates how Todd
finagled the extra financing"
Midway through production, one
magnate offered to buy Todd oat
—lock, stock and rights for $i0
million. Todd rejected it, and
On the basis of his refusal land-
ed: the loan which let him finish
the picture. (Cohn predicted I%
would gross between $50 million
and $100 million.) Todd's ex-
planation of the tactic: "The
trick is knowing your opponent'e
hole card, or knowing one mors
fact than he does. I didn't have
a hole card but they thought l
did, which is just as good as
having one. I knew someone
would stake a guy who had just
turned down ten million bucks"
This biography's account of
Todd's romance with Elizabeth
Taylor, finished by Cohn's wife.
from his notes, is strictly pulp -
fiction stuff. When they met for
the first time, Cohn reports,
"Miss Taylor" was fearful and
lonely, looking for comfort and
solace like a lost, frightened
chid .. Between Avrumele and
Lizzie Schwartkopf (Miss Tay-
lor's real name), the chemistry
was right," Those were Cohn's
last written words.
'Jcr►na Dolls
Vff tltt/tA VP!LER' 1",
Just a pair of man's socks —
a few scraps of fabric, make
these cutest 'jama dolls! Boys
and girls — all children love
them.
Pattern 736: pattern for 12 -
inch dolls and pajamas; pattern
o1 faces. Dolls made of man's
size 12 socks, fabric scraps.
Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS
(stamps cannot be accepted, use
postal note for safety) for this
pattern to LAURA WHEELER,
Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New
Toronto, Ont. Print plainly PAT-
TERN NUMBER, your NAME
and ADDRESS.
A NEW 1059 Laura Wheeler
Needlecraft Book, JUST OUT,
has lovely designs to order:
embroidery, crochet, knitting,
weaving, quilting, toys. In the
book, a special surprise to make
a little girl happy -- a cut-out
doll, clothes to color. Send 25
cents for this book.
ISSUE 45 — 19 --
STARS ON HIS FILM — Pet. Ralph Kirste aims the astronomi-
cal camera he built in his spare time while seeetng at Fort Dix,
Kirste, a native of Danzig, Poland, shoots fF4 sun, moon, stens,
planets and man-made satellites. Time exposure of the. planet
Jupiter, top photo, is an example of his, work, Photo was made
with Tri -X film, exposed for 20 minutes.
n,�