The Seaforth News, 1957-04-25, Page 6)1114.NVE. 14I R ST
"Dear Anne Hirst: Please
help me! A. couple of lady rela-
tives were ggod to me as a child,
whenthey-lived in another city
and took me for school vaca-
tions, etc. I appreciate it, and
don't want to hurt them, but
now they live in my town and
have taken over my life com-
pletely! My husband and I can-
not move without them; they
expect us to be visiting them or
bringing them to our house con-
tinually. We don't have a Sun-
day to call our own — and they
go along with us on our vaca-
tions, practically demanding
this.
"Now my husband has re-
belled. He says he is tired of all
this, and that we're too young
to be chumming with them.
They're in their 60's, we're in
our 30's. How can I tell them?
It seems so mean! If only they'd
be satisfied with every other
Sunday, it would help; I've sug-
gested that, but I felt guilty.
This is the only argument be-
tween my husband and me.
"Our vacation is not too far
off, and my husband insists he
is not going to take them with
us. Now can I get out of it and
keep peace all around? Some-
times I feel they have a rope
around my neck and just keep
pulling!
"We also have my parents to
watch over and try to keep
happy; they have no car, either,
but they ' don't demand and
cling to us the way these two
relatives do. If you can help
even a little, I'd be more than
grateful, A WORRIED WIFE.'
ABNORMAL, UNFAIR
* This situation is all wrong;
* it is neither normal nor fair.
* It should not have continued
* after your marriage, for week-
* ends, holidays and vacations
* belong to you and your
* spouse. By including others
* in your leisure, you have
* cheated yourselves of price-
* less privacy which all married
* couples need. Also, you
* should have been mingling
* with your own friends. The
* two elderly ladies should
* have cultivated contemporary
* friends of their own, and
* found outlets for their time
*. and energy.
* I am amazed that your nus-
* band did not rebel long ago.
a The time to make a break is
* long past due.
* The reasons you will give
* these relatives are you own
r choice:
t Perhaps you can tell them
that this year you two plan a
* vacation which would prove
* too strenuous for their par-
* ticipation, or you are spend-
* ing it with friends, or your
* husband's complete relaxation
demands a different schedule.
M You will have to open the
M way to living by yourselves.
After your return, you can
+ make similar excuses for not
b seeing them regularly: you
* have met new friends who are
0 congenial, your social life has
" grown more active, etc, Of
* course, you will not neglect
s them entirely, but as time
* passes, you will find it easier
* to evade this constant visititE
back and forth.
It isn't going to be easy, but
* can be done. Overcome your
* feeling of guilt. It is proper
* that you be grateful for your
* friends' past hospitality, but
* that does not imply that you
* must spendthe rest of your
* life proving : ,your gratitude.
* Be thankful that your ; hus-
* band wants a life of his own
* and with his wife, whose chief
* interest is keeping her bus-
* band happy in his own way.
* * *
MOM WOULD REMARRY
"Dear Anne Hirst: I am un-
decided about marrying an old
friend of my deceased husband.
My two son live with me; one
will soon have a home of his
own, and the other one is so pop-
ular that I expect he'll be
snatched up in a year or two.
They are grand boys, and I
would not do anything to dis-
turb their happiness.
"Do you think my boys will
understand how much Ihwant
life of my own? My a
and I had a wonderful marriage,.
and I do miss the companionship
of a man my own age. But if
the boys object, I wouldn't go
ahead. If I remarry, the man
will move in with and my
sons.
* I wish I could have printed
* your whole letter. You have
* been a wonderful friend to
* your sons, more like a con-
* temporary than an elder, and
* you have made a fine life for
* all .of you. You say they ad-
* mire the man who wants to
* marry you, and he is con-
* genial and understanding.
* When you tell the boys, be
* sure to add that if they do not
* like the idea, you will not
* marry anybody. But I expect,
* they will tell you to go ahead,
* and welcome the man warmly.
* * *,.
When two people marry, it
should be the aim of each to
keep the other happy. Any other
responsibilities should come
second to that supreme desire.
In time of embarrassment or.
confusion of duties, ask Anne
Hirst's advice " A,ddress her at
Box 1, 123 Eighteenth St., New
Toronto, Ont.
"I just cannot see," said a
newly-wed wife to her husband,
as they gazed in a furniture
shop window, "how they make
all that furniture out of those
crinkly little walnuts."
CAPITAL GAIN—Cologne, West
Germany, lent shapely liilde-
garde Kuehn to the capital city
of Bonn for the competition to
select entries for the "Miss Ger-
many" beauty contest. The 20 -
year -old "lend - lease"beauty
won the "Miss Bonn" title: A
music student, she, was disquali-
fied in last year's contest.
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BROKEN BUBBLES—Someone's always taking the joy out of life
and actress Tpo Strong, above is no exception. In a New York
rehearsal she demonstrates how a girl takes a bubble bath on
television. To seehow the "bubble bath" will look on the screen,
just cover up the bottom half "of the picture.
ISSUE 16 :-- 195'
H1tONICLES
I1NGERFARM
Sunshine bright, warm,
beautiful sunshine. Is there any-
thing that contributes more to
a person's outlook and well-
being -- especially if you are
out in it? But that's the trouble,
there is so much to do indoors,
and because the ground is still
very wet we don't have any real
excuse, for getting outside to
work. No excuse at all, so there
is only one thing to do, just
get outside if we want to 'and
enjoy it, no matter what. Right
now, before the weeds start to
grow, is a good time for making
discoveries and I think X
made a discovery yesterday. I
am not sure but T appear to
have four geraniums that have
survived the winter, The stalks
are rotted but coming up from
the roots there are small
healthy branches with clusters
of little leaves. They are on the
south side of the house well
protected from north- west
winds. If they are geraniums it
is on account of good luck and
mis-management. Last fall I
did not clean uuia this particular
bed so the plants got left there.
Other discoveries I made were
not so pleasing. The rabbits
really went to town on my
shrubs. They even nibbled
branches from the cedars, We
never have done anything in
the way of prevention but I
suppose we shall have to if we
.are going to have so many un-
wanted livestock around. It is
disheartening to leave good
healthy shrubs in the fall and
find them about half their
proper size in the spring. But
then, the poor little rabbits
have to live too — but I wish
they would take to the woods
or feed on wild shrubs.
The nice weather last week
brought us a full quota of visit-
ors. In fact we had a very busy
week. One day I took a visitor
on an exploring trip about
twenty miles from l.ere. I won-
der how many of us miss the
lovely walks and drives that lie.
close to populated areas. How
many do you know? If you
want a nice drive where do you
go? We are only now beginning
to find our way around to the
beauty spots that lie just be-
yond the highways. The village
we visited is less than eighteen
miles from Toronto. We drove
down a concession road about
a couple of miles and found a
lovely country district with a
SALLY'S `.SALLIES
'Oh dear, if you'd told me you
were bringing a friend, 1'6 have
cooked dinner"
Modern
Etiquette
by Roberta Lee
Q. I am mailing out about 200
wedding invitations. Is it all
right for me to use a metered
stamp on the envelopes?
A. Never! The stamps must be
put on by hand.
Q. What is the proper order of
recession at the conclusion' of
a church wedding ceremony?
• A. Just the reverse of how
the party entered. The bride
and bridegroom should lead,
"followed by the bridesmaids
and the ushers.
Q. Just why is the wedding
ring placed on the finger first,
the engagement ring over it?
A. The reason is a practical
one. The wedding ring, being a
plain band, does not require
much cleaning and in many in-
stances is never taken oto.
Whereas the engagement ring
is taken off constantly.
Q. Our daughter has just in-
'formed us of her secret mar-
riage two months ago. Would
it be proper for us to announce
the marriage at this time?
A. It wogld be quite proper
for you to mail out announoe-
ments of the marriage.
Q. Should a dinner guest who
has finished eating immediate-
ly place his napkin on the table?
A. Not until his hostess has
placed her,. napkin on the table.
Q. When a husband and wife
are calling on friends, which
one should suggest .leaving?'
A. It is quite proper for either
one to make the first move,
merely by asking the• other,
"Don't you think we bad better
be leaving?"
number of beautiful homes set
among trees on -landscaped lots.
When the flowers are out and
the trees inleaf we shall cer-
tainly be making a return visit.
We thought it was quite a find.
Then we roamed around a
church -yard belonging to a nice
old church high on a hill over-
looking a river. There we found
plenty of history inscribed on
the old grey tombstones sacred
(we hope) to the memory of
the early pioneers of that dis-
trict. We spent the whole af-
ternoon just browsing around
amid beautiful and historic sur-
roundings yet often within
sound of the traffic on. a very
busy highway. We really had a
wonderful time and we were
glad to realize that in spite of
the number of super -highways
that are being built it is still
possible to find beauty spots
such a short way off the beaten
track.
At home, if we want to get
back to the grim problems of
the day we have only to turn
on the radio or television and
listen to news of guided mis-
siles, misguided foreign policy,
earthquakes, floods, fires, bliz-
zard and traffic mishap. A far
cry from the peaceful pursuit of
farming. In fact we sometimes
wonder if peaceful farming is
possible any more. And then
yesterday along came two
young brothers who were anx-
ious to buy our tractor and
power implements. They were
such nice boys and so anxious
to start farming on their own.
There was something about
them that restored our faith in
the future for farm boys who
really want to work and make
good. They were not the type
to go around looking.for some-
. thing for nothing. They expect-
ed to pay for what they got and
were quite reluctant to accept
as a gift a few extras that Part-
ner was throwing in on the
deal. We had a feeling those
boys have what it takes and we
are confident that, - barring ac-
cidents or disaster seasons, these
young fellows will come out on
top. They deserve to • anyway.
Just to know them gave us a
nice, happy feeling.
Well, the birds around here,
are becoming more numerous
every day. A while ago I was
almost sure I heard an oriole.
And yesterday a little screech
owl came to rest .on a bare
branch of thechestnut tree near
the house. Is there anything, I
wonder, quite so emotionless as
a sitting owl. Once, he had
found a perch there wasn't a
sound or movement from the
funny little creature.* In colour
and shape he looked just like a
natural hump belonging to . the
branch of the tree.
Now I. must get this column
typed and ready for the printer
before any of the family ar-
rive. Yesterday our trio from
Oakville was here and no doubt
the quartette from Toronto will
be here soon. At present with
only Dave being able to navi-
gate on his own the children
are easily handled. A year from
now ... well, I guess a year
from now will tell the story!
FINED FOR BEING
TOO RANDY
Could anyone be arrested for
holding hands? The answer is
"yes," as Charles Dale Pike and
Barbara Maxine Newman dis-
covered whenthey were ar-
rested and fined in Hutchinson.
Kansas, recently — for holding
hands while driving on a publis,
thoroughfare. The difference
was that they were driving dif-
ferent cars.
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SAD YOUNG POOCHES—You'd never guess it,'but these morose+
dogs were prize winners at the Paris Agricultural Show recently
Caged up after the show, the dogs obviously think it's a heck
of a way to be treated after a fine performance.
•
::u
AT LAST—A GIRL—What a childhood awaits Mary Pat Ryan She's already the pet of the Harry.
Ryan household, and she has just arrived home from the hospital with her mother. Her seven
brothers range in age from three to thirteen.