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The Clinton News Record, 1936-06-04, Page 2TITURS., JUNE 4, 1936 'l;The Clinton News -Record With which. is Incorporated THE NEW ERA .• TERMS ,nlr' SUBSCRIPTION': :1.50 nor year in advance, to Cana- dian addresses, anadian'addresses, 82.00 to the U.S. or other foreign countries. No paper discontinued until all arrears are paid ,unless at the option of the publish- er. The date to which every sub- geriation is paid is denoted on the eat2et: ADVERTISING RATES — Tran- sient advertising 120 per count ;line for first insertion. Se for each sub= sbquent insertion. Heading counts 2 lines. Small advertisements not to exceed one inch, such as "Wanted," "Lost," "Strayed," etc., inserted once for 85c, each subsequent insertion 05c. Rates for display advertising erode known on application. Communications intended for pub- lication must, as a guarantee of, good laith, he accompanied by the name .of the writer. r,C. E. HALL, M. It. CLARK, Proprietor. , Editor. IL T. •RANCE - -Notary Public, Conveyancer 'l3'inancial Real Estate and• Fire, In- •,suranee Agent. Representing 14 Fire Insurance Companies. 'Division Court Office, Clinton Frank Fingland, B.A., LL.B. +Barrister, Solicitor, Notary Public Successor to W. Brydone, =Sloan' Block — Clinton, Oni. D.- II. 'McINNES CHIROPRACTOR Electro Therapist, Massage "Office: Huron Street. (Few Deere west of Royal Bank) Flours Wed. and, Sat. and by • appointment. FOOT CORRECTION xay manipulation Sun -Ray Treatment Phone 207 pEORGE ELLIOTT 'Licensed Auctioneer for the County ' of Huron Correspondence promptly' answered Immediate arrangements can be made for Sales Date at The News -Record, 'Clinton; or by calling phone 203. Charges Moderate and Satisfaction Guaranteed. THE McIULLOP MUTUAL ..Fire Insurance Company Flead Office, Scaforth, Ont. Officers: President, Alex. Broadfoot, Sea- "iorth; Vice -President, John E. Pep- per, Brueefield; Secretary -Treasurer, M. A. Reid, Seaforth. Directors: Alex. Broadfoot, Brumfield; James Sholdice, Walton; William ICnox, Londesboro; George Leonhai'dt, Dub- lin; John E. Pepper,', Brueefield; •James Connolly, Goderich; Thomas .Moylan, Seaforth; W. R. Archibald, •Seaforth; Alex. McEwing, Blyth. List of Agents: W. J. Yeo, Clin- •ton, R. R. No. 3; James Watt,4Blyth; John E. Pepper, Brueefield, R. R. No. 1; R. F. McKercher, Dublin, R. R. Flo. 1; Chas. F. Hewitt,' Kincardine; it. G. Jarmuth, Bornholm, R. R. No. 1. Any money to be paid may be paid to the Royal Bank, Clinton; Bank of Commerce; Seaforth, or at Calvin =Cntt's Grocery, Goderich. Parties desiriiag to effect insur- •anee or transact other business will •be promptly attended to on applica- ion promptly any of the above officers ad - •dressed to their respective post offi- •rCes. Losses inspected by the director •who lives nearest the scene. CANAb ATI: NAL TIME TABLE "Trains will arrive at and depart from Clinton as follows: Buffalo and Goderich Div. ,iGoing East, depart 7.08 a.m. ,,Going East, depart - 3.00 p.m. "Going West, depart 11.50 a.m. "Going West, depart 10.08 p.m.' London, Iluron & Bruce ..Going North, ar. 11:34, lve. 11.54 a.m. "Going South 3.08 p.m. WHAT IS A BOY? He is it person who is going to 'carry on what ybu have started. Ile is to sit right where yon are sitting .and attend when you are gone to those things you think are , so important. You may adopt all the policies you please, but how they will be carried rout depends upon him. Even if you make leagues and treaties, he will have to manage thein. Ile is going to sit at your desk in ,the Senate, and oeeupy your : place eon the Supreme Bench. He will assume control of your cities;- towns and nation. He is going to move in and take • over your prisons, churches, schooIs, , universities and corporations. Allyour work is going to be judg ,ed and praised or condemned by bum. , Your reputation and your future *are in his hands. All your work is 'for him, and the ;:fate of the nations and of 'humanity is;;in his hands. So it might be well to pay him Beane: attention. --Author Unknown. 9 jimmy Rowan was hopelessly iii love with Rose Morris;, the prettiest girl in Dover, Michigan. 00 course that was years ago, in early school clays . , but it was hopeless for Jinnliy because he' was ,just tlaac. Rowan kid," desperately poor, while Rose's family was rich. While Jlanusy was working his stay through college, Rose Morris; moved away and, the home sole] for barely enough to pay the mortgage . Jiinnry vowed to himself he'd get rich '. . . and find Rose. Easier vowed than done and years' passed before Jim Rowan :finally landed in the Klondike ... there- to gain wide reputation as a gambler, known as "The. Mieghian Kid" . An ugly •story of ,a 20 -holo: card game with Col. Campbelll, engineer, with stakes no limit ... and suicide of Camp- bell at the encl .-. caused The Miehi- • gait Kid to sell his saloon and start "out." •. At Nome, Rowan came .upon a meeting of llliehfgan folks scheduled so ho attended. As an old man was leaving the meeting Jim started, leaned forward; his eyes fixed upon the, strangers bearded cheek. ' NOW GO ON WITH THE STORY Jiin .rose and followed the man out of the building. Hiram Morris here In Alaska! It was ineareditable. More mereditable still was it to recognize in this bent figure of discouragement the once mighty man of Michigan, the the colossus of Jini's youth. Mr. Morris situffjed along the 'street: shaking liis head anti nutter- ing to himself. As he passed the entrance to a bakery whence issued the savory odors of fresh bread, and spicy cakes he paused lifted his face and k-eafh.d deeply. He halted a- ewhi ''ore a roe. -.__ "_Lnt de trio himself, the guest aidd-not Mahe him; self lcnowil. It was not until the lat=e ter; had eaten ravenously, to his complete satisfaction and' had' lighted an expensive cigar of Jim's selection, that the younger man said: "Perhaps you'd like to hear about that olcl friend 1: met. 3M was a big man in our town and I twat a poor kid, but he gave me some advice that :I've tried to live lap to. It camc,about like'this: one morning we we're hav- ing a-.c;ow;,a..1 _-glit M frost c1 i.__., c'-rool imouwo when he: drove pa:,. _ 1. h:o cattor." ' Mr.' Morris peered cprioilsly' at the speaker; "I don't know what possessed' ire, but I threw a ball at hint:. It was ice. 'It bit him, hurt him like the devil. I'd have been fired from school only for 'him. He-" • . "Whore was this?" ' "It was in Dover. You took me to. the :principal and-" "Why, this is extraordinary! .Then - your name is Rowan. , You're Jim Rowan's boy,. And yeti recognized me, after all these years!" IVIr. Morris • was deeply moved. "I couldn't fail to recognize that sear onour cheek,sir, inasmuch as y 1 Ip ut it them.. "My clear boy'!' The old man took Tim's, hand in both of his.' "How strange that we should meet like this! And how you fooled mei You had your little joke, didn't you?" ' "Merely because I wasn't sure you'd accept my invitation to dine if you knew who I was." ' Mr. Morris, confessed reluctantly: "I—I'm not so euro that I would have accepted, Jim. You see, times have changed; thingshaven'tgone well with ire and it hurts a man's' pride to acknowledge failure to his friends. I have some pride left. That's why I'm not going' back until I land in the pay. Now that yon know everything, t I'..1 going to make a confession: 2 was actually hungry when you invit- The next morning Jim Rowan put ed me in..". • a pack on his back and hit the trail. tis looked' at Ilial: iineompresending'ly, he explained: m "You found pie:" "O11, my boy! 'You don't under- stand --" understand Perfectly. Y o u want a working ,partner and you'll give`him an interest. All right, how much of an interest do I get?" "Why; 6, I was .going to offer a "Of course you realize the supplies caiue just in time?" half—" "That's too much, just for a pick and shovel stiff. I'll put up the -grub and outfit for all hands." "Nonsense! You've done well-" "Not well enough so that I can af- ford to turn down a good offer like this. You've been here two years and you haven't struck pay; I spent five years on the Yukon and never .made a dollar out of mining. I left to look for something. Well, I've found it" Mr. Morris peered curiously at the speaker. show window of which were displayed raw steaks and chops • and cold -stor- age chickens upon a bed of cracked ice. Jim .recognized the expression in that thin, eager face and he experi- enced a shock. Good God! the man was hungry! Hungry in Alaska! No- body had ever gone.Hungry on the Yukon. What kind of camp was this? Holding his voice to a casual tone, the, he said: "Excuse e, but I'm look- ing for a clean cafe. Can you tell .nle where the gamblers eat?" "Right here, I believe. It is the most expensive place in town." The speaker's gaze remained ,fixed upon the window.' "I'm a stranger here and I. don't know a soul. Won't you join pie?" 3111. Morris looked up now, swiftly; in his eyes was a glitter that Rowan had' seen in the eyes, -. of famished trail dogs. "Why, • you don't know me! - Besides—I'm not` dressed for a place like: this. I thank you, but—""Come on. You'll' be doing me a favor." Jing held the door epee, and waited for the ragged figure to pre- cede' him, then he selected a table in one of the: booths and ordered a Meal for two which caused' his guest to say: - • "My clear sir, yon .can't be familiar with Nome prices. .A T-bone steak is seven dollars .and those' fresh vegetables! Why, you've ordered a millionaire's banquet." ' "Well, it is a sort of banquet with Me. It celebrates an occasion." „Indeed?" "I met an old friend tonight: a man from my home town."Mr.' Morris was ready and willing to talk about Nome. He had failed greatly, and he was at a garrulous age, but about himself he had `little to say and .it was some time before Tint Managed to discover that he had been here for two years, mining, but without success. "You know how it is," he eitplained with a tremulous smile; "it takes time to develop a placer property when you have no capital But I have a splendid claim and one of these days ['ll land in the pay'." The two men chatted on until the food was served, and; inasmuch as' the host, had not :seen fit to introduce "Bell of a camp, to let a. plan go hungry!" Rowan exclaimed, harshly. "You sea I'in, pretty old and I'm pot very strong. It's hard for me to get work.', However, a Tittle poverty, a little hardship, doesn't hurt a ny- body. It makes one enjoy good for- tune when it comes. But, Jini, my boy, tell ane about yourself. I- ow did I ever help you? . Yeti must have struck it rich to be able to afford an extravagance like this —'this bun- quet?n Rowan shrugged. "I've spade a little told I've spent a little, You made Inc promise to fight fair and never hit a fellow When be wasn't looking. I could have made more if I hadn't lived op to that promise, bur-" "Never mind. Crooked money isn't worth having and money of any sort isn't worth too• high a price. This is a cruel country and it's hard rto get ahead. But you're young and you've taken good care of yourself." Mr. Morris' failing eyes did not see that .Jim's flesh was flabby and that 'the bleach in his eheeks came from lack of sunlight. "That's your early train- ing. I've no .sympathy for these wasters tvlmo squander their money over bars and gambling tables." Rowan added gravely; he spoke the literal truth when he said: 01Neither have I." "I'm out of date, perhaps, but I still retain my, old-fashioned ideas. I daresay I don't belong here," "Why don't you leave?" "How, can I?" The question was accompanied by a crooked smiile and a -regretful shake of the gray head. "But your fancily ,- ?" with a gambler's caution Jim was leading tip to the question that had trembled up- on his Bps from the moment he had first recognized Rose's father. "Mrs. Morris died several years ago." "I'n sorry. I haven't heard from hone in ages." There was a ,cement of silence, then with averted eyes and a tone' of indifference the young ::maim said, "Your. daughter Rose must be a woman now," Hiram Morris looked up eagerly. "Yes. Yes, indeed! Actively, sweet girl: ' "Married, no doubt?" "No. But some day I hope , her 'Prince Charming will come "along.. Poor Rose, she deserves a prince! She'cl love to see you, I know, but-. I'm afraid her pride is stiffer than nine. You tmdeistand. She feels our situation keenly—" "You don't mean. she's -here?" "Y, yes! - Where else would sh he's all I have. be? " � Rowan felt liimself grow dizzy, ill. Rose .here! - Dependent upon this poor, feeble old man whom he had -surprised staring at a, cafe :window like a famished wolf! It was a mo- ment before he could trust himself -t . ingiire: "Where is she'? What is she doing?" "She's out ,on the creek. I came m to look for a man, a helper-, but —I can't pay wages and nobody eaves to prospect a claim for in interest in it when there are, so many claims to be had for the staking or'to:be jumped. We've about reached the end of our tope. I saw the notice of that Michi- gan meeting and I thought I might find somebody there." "You did," said Rowan: •When Mor - tt was the first time in nearly five years that he had felt pack straps, fps The Michigan Kid had taken his exercise by proxy, andhe was dis- mayed to discover how soft and how short of breath he had become. He felt a pang when he heard the siren of his steamer giving the signal to weigh anchor, for he was heartily sielc of the nortlilancl and hungry for the world outside. He had worked long for this hour; he felt now as if some one had offered hien a drink, then snatched it away. And the worst of it all was that he had no doubt made a fool of himself! Rare would not -could not be the girl he had known; nor could the faint spark of a boyhood infatuation be fanned into the flame of a real man's love, for mien's tastes change without their knowing it. Ile knew without asking that Rose shared all of her father's scruples and prejudices. Lucky for ]rine that he had buried The Michi- gan Kid. Rose had bloomed: into exactly the sort of woman that Jim hail expect- ed, thereby disproving the cynical statement that our realizations never equal our anticipations. She was a little more fragile than he had pic- tured her; but the reason for that was evident and it wrung his heart. Ten minutes after he saw her, heard her voice; looked into her eyes, he had ceased all regrets about that departed steamship. She was delighted to see the boy she had known, ,and with her own hands she prepared the simple sup- per for three. Later she sought out Jim as he was strolling about the claim.' • "Father tells me that you have bought a complete outfit of supplies arid lumber for another cabin." "Yes. They'll be out tomorrow." The girl lowered her eyes and said with some difficulty: "Of course you realize that they came just in time. It's almost easier to take charity from strangers - than from old friends. I'm sorry you made the sac- rifice." • "`Charity'? 'Sacrifice'? • What sacrifice?" "Father -says you were on your way `outside' -after five years. I know what that means. : • (Continued next week) wer•e':addressed.byKing Edward. It vas, the first Scout function attended by His Majesty since his aceession'to he throne. `:5,000 Prize Peace Essay: Based do International Boy Scout Friendliness The essay on "World Peace,"' which von for° Scout 0. W., Matthews III, of Portland, Ore., the $5,000 college. scholarship offered by Eddie Cantor; ]me coiledian,, was .based upon the -niter's personal exeprience. Ile was a member of the America:: Scout'cois• tingent at the International Scout Jamboree of 1033 a a.m., Hun- gary, and based his essay neon obser- vation of'the mutual friendliness and goodwii'1 shown there by boys of puny. nationalities. Indian Boys of the Barrens to be Taught Games By Boy Scouts The children of Cree and .Ojibway Indian villages sparsely scattered ov- er the great barrens bordering James and Hudsgn's bays are to be given the opportunity of playing hockey and baseball,• and learning about Mickey Mouse and other 'heroes of tire• children's world. Ontario Scout'. Headquarters has invited Scout Groups to "adopt" certain of these isolated 'wigwam villages, without schools, or any guidance in play, and to send them froin time to time pic- ture books, indoor games for the long winter evenings, and equipment for, outside games, including hockey pucks and baseballs. Because of transportation problems, pictures only of bats and hockey sticks will be sent, from which these: may be made, • Former Scouts and other as'- sistants at trading posts will be ask, ed to demonstrate the games. DOINGS IN THE SCOUT WORLD As a contribution to the Vancouver Junior Board of Tracie spring "Help Clean Up"' campaign 2,000 Vancou- ver Boy Scouts engaged 50 thorough- ly' tidy up their own back yards: Twenty-six gallons of maple' eyrup were served; "and nota drop left ov- er," at the annual Boy Scout Maple Sugar Social at Granby, Que. Some 000 people attended. • The King Meets Scouts of 50 Counties 1,000 Boy Scouts from 50 counties of England, Scotland and Wales gathered at Windsor Castle ,for the third National Scout Service, and Y. P. U. Convention PRESBYTERY Y.P.U. OF UNITED CHURCH HOLD CONVENTION 1 N SEAFORTH ON SATURDAY The 12th annual convention of the Young People's Union of Huron Pres- bytery was held•Saturday in Northside United church, Seaforth, with an attendance of nearly one !hundred. Representatives were present from Goderich, Exeter, Chiselhurst, Gren- way, Egnonclville, Wingham, St. Helens, Smiths Hill, Whitechurch, Grand Bend, Brueefield, Clinton, Bayfield, Walton, Gorrie, Centralia, Dungannon, Auburn, Lucknow and Seaforth. Miss Milne of Blyth presided dui; ing the worship period and Miss Al- berta Richmond gave an inspiring address on the subject, "Ambassa- dors For Christ" The president, Miss Evelyn Dane, then tools charge of the remainder- of the program. Interesting reports Were given by the various officers and conveners. The Huron Presby- tery Y. P. CJ, has thea Honor this year of standing first in contribu- tions, the amount being $1,002, an in- crease of $112. Rev. C. W. DeWitt Cosens of Wesley -Willis church, Clinton, gave an earnest, forceful ad- dress on "Christianity or Commun- ism': The contthission group leaders, Rev. G. Wylie, Rev H. Wright, Hugh Ellis an d Rev. R. N. Stewart, had charge of the subjects under de- liberation at the conference, "Peace and War," "Youth and Marriage," "Personal Religious Living" and "Christianity Or Communism." At the afternoon session words of welcome were addressed to the yis- iting guests by the local president, Miss Thompson. and Reeve J. FI. Seott, who represented Mayor A. D. Sutherland, the council and towns- people, to which the Presbytery pt'e- sideht, Miss Dane, -made a fitting reply. Hugh Ellis of Leamington, confer- ende president, favored witli a solo accompanied on the organ by Mrs. J. A. Stewart and also brought a mes- sage from the conference to the meeting. Rev. C. W. DeWitt Cosens and Rev. Mr. Bremner of Brueefield spoke of the attractions and activities of the summer school' at ,Goderich. Greet- ings' were recieved from the Presby- tery followed : by the roll call of un- ions. The new executive of the Huron Presbytery Young People's Union are: President; George Taylor, Wing- hani: Secretary:" Marjorie .Prowse, Code- ,i e is. Treasurer: Stanley Todd, Si. 'He!- ens. Conveners: Christian Fellowship: Beatrice Beecroft, Belgrave. Missionary, Clarence McLennahan, Lucknow. Citizenship: Sidney. J. Brown, Gode- rich. ' ' Culture: Alberta Richmond, Blyth. Leadership Training: Marjorie Jennison, Grand Bend. Publicity: Evelyn Dane, Gerrie. Recreation: Jack Bennett, Auburn. Girls' Work: Jean Smith, Seaforth. ' Boys' Wont: Gordon Arthur,-Gode- rich, During the• evening several web; rendered choruses were sung by the Hensali group and presentation was made • to them of the shield won by, them in the, recent contest. . Aubrey Oldham of Sarnia, past president of the London Young People's Conference, who was the chief speaker, gave a fitie address and complimented the Hurbn Presby- tery in having staged the most dra- matic improvement in Young Peo- pie's organizations of any church in Canada. The Iiuron Presbytery expects to entertain the conference which is to be held in Wesley -Willis Church, Clinton, on Oct. 9=10-11. Time delegates were hospitably en- tortaineci by the ladies of Northside United Church. COLLEGIATE ' INSTITUTE' AFFAIRS INTERESTINGLY WRITTEN UP BY A STUDENT i Greetings, friends, Diel you miss as? We couldn't possibly write .any school news for the Past two weeks, since we had to study for varioils. exams. And now, looking at the ria - sults, we realize that we might as well have written up the news after all! What has happened at school while we were busy? Nothing ,much. We were talking to an ex -student re- cently and he told us that be enjoyed the news very much, as it was his only means of keeping in touch with the sehool. "Last week's hews was the best yet," he told us. "I got a big laugh out of it." We regarded the ex -student with- out enthusiasm. "There was no school news in the paper last week," the said sttilY, and turned aw aY• That hurt our feelings very much. If last week's was the best yet, and there was none last week, does that mean that our usual contribution is 'worse than nothing? And after all the work we have put on this school news! Miss Beattie wants to know if there is a class of folk -dancing in the school? She does not want to learn folk -'lancing, site assures no, but she would like to know why some of the respected members of the Upper School are indulging ht weird perfor- mances on the steps. It happened like this. Miss Beattie walked out of Upper School one day, and was surprised to see two legs suspended in mid-air, and depending from no apparent bodies. Miss Beattie said that she concluded that the school was haunted, and that these were the legs of long -'lead students who were returning to visit the school. Being ghosts, of course, they were not ob- liged to walk, but could float, walls or fly indiscriminately.—At titin junc- ture the legs described a graceful arc and disappeared. Miss Beattie, who is a courageous woman (she teaches Upper School English) was undaunt- ed by these spiritualistic appearances. She decided that her best plan was to go forward and tell the ghosts gently, brit Manly, that night was tate accepted time for ghosts, and that by appearing hi the clay-tinie, they were distinctly making a faux pas.—She went forward and beheld—not ghosts —but the Folic -Dancers, ' (or were they ballet dancers?) Anus -inter- twined they whirled giddily from step to step—the dance went something like this, Step on the first step (of the staircase), kick, swing your leg, and step on the second stairstep. Re- peat until you are downstairs. The dancers were at first too much rapt in their occupation to realize that they had an audience. However they soon caught sight of her, and; halting in the middle of their stride, revealed themselves as Reynolds and McInnes, 14Iiss Beattie said: "Well, really!!" The dancers said nothing. We gather that Folic -Glancing classes at the Collegiate are to be diseontinued. Miss Beattie had another harrow- ing "experience in Third Form. 'They were taking up Julius Caesar, and had come to the part where Caesar said: "Doth not Brutus bootless kneel?" "Now Hearn," said bite teacher, "explain that line." 'Hearn woke tip with a start. "Er -which line?" "Doth not Brutus bootless kneel. Hurry up, Hearn." "Oh, yes." Percy licked his lips feverishly. "Well, it means he says —"Now look here," he says, "am I seeing things or is Brutus kneeling iA'front of pre in his stocking feet?" He was deaf in one ear and couldn't see very well — No --"lie means," 'Hearn continued, warming to his sub- ject, "that he thinks Brutus is sort of worshippiug,ilim,-see, because he tools his shoes off to come before him, and Caesar doesn't want to be worshipped because he refused the crown three tines the clay before, and that proved he didn't." Hearn sat down, -evidently well- pleased with himself. (Oh obsolete uses of English words! Iiow many crimes are committed in your arcane!) Bootless, Percy, (as you have doubtless learned by now) means "in vain," or "to no purpose." It is be- yond question that Brutus was, not in his stocking feet. We publish the following two it- ems by request. Therefore, if either of the two young ladies in question feel constrained to throw a few brick- bats; it behooves them to 'throw them at one another, not at me. Everyone wants to know why Sadie Elliott goes around the school singing "Moon -light on the river Colorado" Helen Levis tells us . confidentially that her favourite song is "There's a long, long trail a-Winding."—Quite Helen! Froin Londesboro to the top of Vinegar Hill of course. But Helen doesn't have to follow the winding- of incingof the trail up to.the Collegiate. She has a -private' taxi service -pretty fair service, too. And we think that that pun is rather good, although we have aw•orn off punning. 1 ; If anyone thinks that it is a smveIl job writing up this Collegiate News they are wrong. We have often heard people remark that "it must be great to hand out slants to every- body and never get any back." As if everybody doesn't come and tell us precisely what they think of us for writing those sante slams. And some- times there's so much news that we can't get it all in; other times we can only apologize for our lack of ingenu- ity in thinking up items for publica- tion. And is our work appreciated? Let me tell you what one of the younger sten-about-town said about it. Harry (Pillow -Fight) McEwen came clown one day to interview our younger brother about an important business transaction. We overheard the following: "Swap you this for your telescope, Cooney." "Olt you gyp, Bissett. This tele- scope's worth fifteen cents, anyway. Gosh you can see for utiles...:" "Miles! Huh—about five cents, its worth." Here I thought that I would go out and inspect the telescope in ques- tion. If you could really see for utiles with it, I might force my brother in- to buying it. I have always wanted a toy telescope. "Hello Pillow -Fight," I sacci, "Hello," said Pillow -Fight." "Hey, isn't this worth 15c—this telescope. Just look at those cows over there through it. Can't you see them plain ?" "Yes," I said dubuously, inspecting the cows, "but you can see them bet- ter without it; don't you think?" "Oh well—if you act like that about it," said Pillow -Fight. "Do you mind if I put you in the school news this week," Pillow - Fight?" I enquired. "Do you write that nuts stuff?" asked Pillow Fight, regarding me with new interest. "I always said it must be a nutsy person to be nuts enough to write stuff as nuts as that." "Do you really read it, Pillow - Fight," I cried. "Oh i read it ... "Pillow -Fight said rudgingly. "But I think it's nuts," Anyway, he reacts it, and that, dear readers, you must admit, is some- thing. "Yes, sir," said Pillow -Fight, medi- tatively, •"It sure is ,nits. Just as nuts as nuts." "Oh nuts," we said appropriately,. and withdrew, determining not to lend our brother the Money to pay Pillow -Fight for his telescope. The Collegiate students extend their sympathy to Jean Cornish, who had her appendix removed Saturday. We hope that Jean will soon be back and none the worse for her operation. We recently read a .fairy -story a- bout a prince who was so clever that his- favourite occupation was trans- lating Egyptian hieroglyphics into French .poetry. We are now going to study how to translate French poetry into Egyptian hieroglyphics. For it is as easy to read Egyptian hiero- glyphics as it is to read our writing—, especially a straight translation. Maybe the Editor should take a course in translating near -Egyptian - hieroglyphics into "Collegiate .At - fairs." Dear Editor;, wewish you joy of it. —Cheerio! (Thanks, my dear. ' But we've been translating; hieroglyphics into pas- sibly good English all our newspaper life. We don't do so badly do we? --- Ed.