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The Clinton News Record, 1925-08-06, Page 3HURSDAY AUGUST I5,,1925. Iia C:tinaat�l ax evv9-li2Wcsrd 1885 FORTY YEARS °IN BUSINESS 1925 AUGUST A Month c'f t:, air dins r odds Clearingall �t�tnl�e. � Friday a � ` Specials �'1<nda and :�at��d 7 � �iWeetrvvel.l•'silk Hose $1.49 This is a Pure ° Sillr, • Hoe, sub -standard of the regular line which.formerly sold in'°gown for $1,75, all sizes from 811 to 10 and in thea"leading Colors such as Beige, Tan, Nude, - Pearl Flax; Black, and White. Quantity Limited,special per pair,$1,19 Children' s ailcl Ladies Underwear' and Dr Se-. at August' Special Prices, COOPER. . The •Oldest • Established Easiness in Clinton 112701009 ' Full, True and Particular Account of the ($est Practical Joke Ever Played in Clinton the r•� rk � �n,, .'L�r r � �` � >;.� �5 u��.. ��K �st� �;. � ,...�. wa � ,.n, Pig . ' 4 •� _'"' i Le .; ', �fi ,Y a N,�n�13 �,a,�,4 � s�•. P 14 0 A Continued Satisfaction in Economy . t Week after week the thousands of.customers who ` place their complete grocery order at their nearest' DOMINION STORE continue to save and afe.:more than satisfied. You, too, can; save .' by shopping there, - ' Dominion Wrapped Bread, 9c per'loaf We now'have a telephone. The No. is. 66 RUBBER 3 -, JAR /' J RINGS DOZ• BRUNSWICK4F ZINC �^�}C SARDINES £, 0 25to JAR ^ V DOZ t IN OIL R :: RINGS 2 FOR � fl6fl Shm''e polis 25c OLD DUTCH' . CLEANSER I le D. S. L. BAKING POWDERFLOOR CONTAINS Q NO ALUM 9 aS �r 1 1b. TIN RICH El�J i1 FF • THE BEST COFFEE gg � PERFECTION WAX 1 lb. i oda lb. I //,� 1` �+ `" PU Via+ E s IAAF 20 lb. $ - ®95 PAIL OBTAINABLE, 1 lib. TIN �� y. ""' i 1t„> BLACK • C '. PEPPER —GROUND lb. RASPBERRY JAM .'i- lb. WITH APPLE I` ''"r=�w IT FLOATS z TIN : 3C 99,44f CLARK'S,AYLMERORLUBBT'S� "lE�aiNS 2 TINS WITH PORK 51j, ,r sac'. l00% PURE ' c CAKE 84C CLINTON'S;GELEBRATION (Continued frone.'Page ,One) Holloway, Mr., Teterboro. Hayes, H. P., Detroit. Hunniford, Stella, London. Herman, Minnie, Buffalo,, Herman, Rev. F., Craighurst. Herniae, Mrs. F., Craighurst.” Herman, Edith, Western Hosp., Tor- onto, Herman ,Clete. ,Craighurst. Harrison, .Mrs. G•, Detroit. Tlo�vei], Mrs. A. J., Bay ('ort.. Holmes, Mary L., Medicine' Hat. Harrison, G., Detroit. Hill, M, M•, Wingham. Hough, N. W.,` London. ' Harland, J. H•, Toronto. Humphreys, Mr Ja c i ph y , s.,, ael sone ile: Harland, L., Guelph. Harland, B., Guelph.. I3annablyn, W, J., Exeter. Hambiyn, Mrs., Exeter. Hamiblyn, Oswald; Exeter. 0 How, Vin. G., Toronto. How ,Frank, Toronto. Howard, R., Blyth, Habkirle, N. G., Grose Isle. Iabkil'k, N. G., Grse Isle. Harland W. 3.,Guelph. ,WIr p. Holmes, Harold, St. Catharines. Leighfield, Wm. Lyon, B., Brandon. Livermore, Mildred,St.. Catharines. Leckie, T. T., London. ." Leckie, Mrs. T. T., London. Leckie, J. H., London. Laithwaite, G. C., Grand Forks. e. Leithwaite, Mrs. G: C., Grand Forks. Lobb, J. B. Galt. Lawson, Alice, Detroit Livermore, John, Detroit. • Lawson} Mrs, F. 0,, Toronto:: r Lawson, Anthony, Toronto, Latornell, E. N., St. Thomas. Latornell,W., St. Thomas: Lattridge, E. D., Toronto. Leslie, W. J. D. Oakland, Cal. Little, Mrs. M. D., Sandiago. Lawson, A.,' Toronto. Lawson, Donna,•Toronto. Lawson, Roy, Toroneko Lawson,: Fred, 'Corento. Lee, Mrs. Roy, Ruthven.. Leslie, John,' B,, Oakland, Cal. Leslie;„lVIrs. J. B., Oakland, Cal. • Le M rs .Cecil Springfield. - gg, , Layton, Jno.' London. r Y , Layton, Mrs. hie:, Louden. Layton, Geo., London. Layton, Gert., London. Layton, Muriel, ` London, Linton, C. F., Toronto. Linton, Mrs.: C. F.,. Toronto. Archibald, E., Montreal 1VIclrien, Mrs. A. R. ,Essex, Mclrien, Olive, Essex. Mennel; Mrs. F•, ,ondon, McIntyre, Mrs.''D. L., Hamilton. lecTntyro, Vera, Hamilton. ' McCulloch, Win., Stratford. McCulloch, Mrs, Win., Stratford. lireculloch, Alioe,;Stretford. • McCulloch, `Theodore,. Stratford. McRae, J. A., London. McCartney, Ti., Swift Current, Sask. Mason, Dorothy, Toronto. Mairs, Dorothy, Lethbridge, Alta. Maddows, Mrs. W. A., Port Hppe. Maley, ,rohn, Detroit Maloy, Mrs. John, Dat'r•oit. McKenzie, Edwin, Toronto. McQuire, Ed., Toronto. McEwan, Mrs. F.; Palmerston. Mahan, 1 .A., London. Malian,: Edna J., London. Mahan, Larry, London. Medaighey, Frank, Toronto. Miller,' Ogle, Goderich. Miller, Mable, Goderich. Miller, Clarence, Goderich. McLeod, Joel, London. McLeod, Mrs, J., Lndon. McTaggart', Geo. E., Watford. MacKenzie, Mrs. 3.-D., Kincardine. McKenzie, Mac., Kincardine. McBrien, Etta, London. Middleton, Jean, Toronto. Middleton, Helena,' Toronto. McLean, Marcella, .,.Blyth. McCartney ,L. V'., Aberfoyle.: McLean, Mrs. W. D., Blyth, Miller, Irene, Toronto. Melieanf W. D•, Blyth. McKenzie, J. D., Kincardine. Murphy, R. H., Exeter. Nlazwell, Ms. J. N., North Dakota. McLeod, Mrs. A., Bayfield: McLean, Mr•, Goderich. McLean, Mrs,, Goderich. Mustard, Mrs. Thornton, Toronto. McKenzie, R. W., Detroit. McKenzie, Mrs. R. W., Detroit. Murphy, Bessie, Goderich. Murphy, T. T., Goderich., McCaig;; Russel, Gelt.t McCaig ,Mrs. Russel, Galt. MacDonald, Frank, Windsor: MacDonald, Mrs.' Frank, Windsor. Roo, W. A„ Idaho. Ross„ Mrs. W. A., Idaho, Rath, Jno. A., Dundalk. Rutledge, Mrs. Win!; Newcastle. Rutledge, Wm., Newcastle. l5umball, R.J., Windsor. Rumball, Mrs. Re J,, Windsor. Rurnball, Jacic, Windsor. Routledge, Ed., Sault Ste. Marie. Routledge, Mr., Sault Ste, Marie. Routledge, Mrs;; Sault Ste. Marc.i Rm r Joe Kitchener. e ha dt J D Reinhardt, Mrs J. 11 Kitchener. ReinhardtMarjorie, Kitchener. Reinhardt, Gerard, Kitchener, itoeke George FE,., 'Manitolba, Ronne, H,, Manitoba, Routloclge,, Geo., Listowel. Routledge, Mrs. Geo., Listowel Routledge, Gertrude, Listowel. Routledge, Clarence, Listowel: Routledge, 'Edna.,Listowel,'_ Routledge; Patricia, Listowel. Robinson ''Russel Cleveland. Reynolds,; Leo, Detroit. Reynolds,:,' Mrs, Leo,, Detroit. Roberton John, Auburn. Richmond, Mr,,; Torouto. A week or so ago a correspondent he opened up by saying that he locked made mention, in recalling old days in upon me as a mentor. His respect, al - Clinton, of a practical joke Played on rection, veneration for 'ane lgrew no a well-known citizen, by a number of -bounds, and it was with undiluted boy- -Lis associates. imthe bowling club: A Tor (he -never takes mucin soda) that copy of the Curler. and Bowler', a lit- he hard heard of a plat, a low, base tle, sport magazine, of the elate, of plot to neke a fool, of me:that'even- July, 1908, has been handed to us con- ing at the dinner. Souu:how when taining a complete account of this you " have knowd a.i child d short jolce, written by the "Joicee" "Johan you you' are iibt so „ant tosuspect Ransfoeti, which• we reproduce for the him as a stranger. T:5'ive the Minch entertainment of the old boys who w:edit for choosing a good emissary may still be in town: y Fleli,'I ttinabled r r 1" listened to his. 'Lawn bowlbrs aro essentially' good sleclous lies, I t Ds it all down,.'and. fellows. Ifyou, are not you are n`ot attentively heaa;d how Billy J. was wanted on the green . A man to be a going to prei;enid Lo make a presenta: lawn bowler must be above everything tin %to me,'aided and abetted by For else a' good-natairecl, all: round men, rester, Fair, Ma,.hhe;,ie et el, hut I. • And some clubs are yrorse than nMi't be on my guard to stop it be - others for jokes. If I were easked.to cause when 5 opened the box I would name the club that stands pie-einin nee uncia nigra r doll anct groat ant for gooclaiatured'jokers, give pie would be the roar of laughter that Clinton. There. is' a bunch up in that lively little ,, northern town that axe everlastingly putting up soine.:prae- tical joke- or other neon :ope .or more Of 'their members;... There is, how- ever, in the Clinton Club an old time nueleous, g eridfathers' you may call them, (most of them are, or ought to be), who are chief offenders in' this joking business, There it liVilliam Jackson', alias "Rosebud," alias "Billy"; alias anything you like to call him, D. A. Forrester, to whom the alias of "Trusty" was given. This aides. needs explanation, for nobody would ever call him'"Trusty" now. There was an evening he wajidered in alone from London, wielding a double barrelled gun, and seeing it dicln t' ge off, he Was supposed to he capable of being; trusted with anything for- ever 'afterwards, But , thele was ' a time when he played a fairly reliable good game. But now! It is a clear case of H. B. There is an elongated Scotch Canadian, Jamie Fair. Jim is' all right, plays a good game and is yet really "Trusty." There is another elongated, long fingered, spare-waist- eil Scotch Ganuclk, D. L. Macpherson, "Fingers," so called because it is gen- erally believed his fingers can lap right around a ball with the greatest ease. Vmust not forget 'to mention myself—the father pf the club—but modesty forbids any description. Then, there is a comparatively youthful member', although goodness knows, he 'man," he started •again. "Sit down," looks old enough, especially when„in, I repeated. "You'll speak y,,,vrhen ' I bathing, if a playful wave tenderly brushes 'away -•bis carefully brushed long hairs on :one side ,of that large, white expanse but I ; mean ire is young in year's, 'compared to those tpreviously mentioned -II. H: Combe. Hugh Barry is. a jewel. SI'e is beet at a supper; bowls fainly evell, but kis great game is knifd 'and fork and tumbler., 1 have referred incidentally to these six members because they awe connected !nose or less intimately with me in the Best joke ever played in our club. It was the occasion of our annual supper. ' The coresident, that's me, had been laboring inees- 'senily for some years to bring the club up to a certain standard. Grounds had beenbought, paid for, house built, fences erected, good lawn laid down ate., and this supper was the con - elusion. Many in the chib felt that some small recognoition of the very able and arduous 'work of the presi- dent should be suitably. made but while the proposal met with general favor ard.suliport, yet even a presen- tation could not„be made without in- dulging iii, a practical joke, and this is how it was done. • As !president, of oourse, I occupied the -chair at the supper: A very'niee cut glass claret jug was purchased and was to be presented' at a suitable time after supper iby Mr. W. Jack- son. 1 was to. be kept in entire ig- norance. It was to be a surprise. A surprise it was, right enough. Jack- son got .hit gang of conspirators to- gether and after sleepless days and. nights,'i2 not weeks of schenting, they eoncoeted what was. sprung on ine on the folloing day` About three p.m. on the day of the supper that low lived son of e gun I have already, referred to under the namet of Combe, met ane. i have h was an ni everSince e a known him in- fant in arms, you might say lie has grown :rip under my •vee,'eye. I was present at his christening, T gave him away, in, marriage, I proposed the health of himself and his bride at the breakast, I embraced his ,bride pa- ternally afterwards ,,'I have been a second father to hin'i. 'Encountering me, with one of, the most confiding rand ihitocent mugs ever, worn, he in- timated to' me that he had eomething: very confidential to eommenicate. We retired to'a suitable locality (it cost me 50c) 'arid when quietly ensconced • �1,.ild ensue. I say I believed drat nem. And he dram; my Scotch and area while I believed.,', lie sari ok.of. nib thanks without a ;tremor. 5 shook his hand warmly in parting. ' I. told him I could never forget this tench - Mg proof ouch-ingproof of. hie ,life-long affection. And all he asked ,for this in wonted display of esteem was my word of honor neve* to divulge his part in this wanton deviltry.' 1 returned'to my office and .thought it out how I. could get even with Jackson & Co. Evening carne. Supper served. We'. sat down, some sixty all. told Eating "lone, cigars, drinks,-- toasts -were' in order. I arose and proposed the health of His Majesty --•drunk' avith enthusiasm. One or two other toasts followed, ('had my eye on the con- spirator's. They were there, Jackson and Forester together... By their side the nigger doll carefully packed in a long white box. Littl did they dream that I knew everything. 0ppo-' isle sat Fair and Macpherson ready to aid and ailed. As far down as he could get; ... ready and handy for a rapid exit, sat the man T had known as a %babe.. T„saw:Jackson and Forres- ter confer in whispers. The attenuat- ed Seotehman.nodded in encourage- ment. At last up rose Jackson. He began hesitatingly. He never is what you would call a fluent sneaker. "Er- Er-Mr.-Er-Chairman." Er- Er-Mr: Er -Chairman." "Sit doivn,l' I' majestically said. "But Er -Mr. Chair - t w"a only a joke, that no real pies-, enta hoz was intended how he: apol- izel for. wounding .the feelings of hi .'dc friend Mr. Jackson, hg9r he ,aid all this and - a good deal more, amid the thundering, laughter -ridden applause of the company, amengst. which could be distinctly heard the bucolic "Ha Ha" of Mr. Forrester, to say nothing of the shrill "Tee Hee" of Billy, or the sarcastic, treble -toned snickeririgs of. the cluandon Highland- er, D. ighland-er,'D. L. Macpherson. Av• quickly•as' I could I said what I felt- obliged to say and 4S'quickly as possible "after;' Wards I •vacated the ,ehair and rushed to the other end of the room, if but• only to lay airy hands on the neck of that double -dyed sneak and ruffian, II, B. Coelho, but he hacl fled. Arid so ended the memorable' presentation, Clinton and today the claret jug stands on My ' INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR ct,rating, Painting and Pal,' rang rl: Make it' a point ,to see my ,Sample Books before buying. Paper of Quality from 1l) cents to 75. cents Richmond, Mrs., Toronto. Russell, Wesley, Toronto, Rance, Janet'F.,- Toronto. Reid, J.. T., London, - Richard, Wm., Stratford. Rance, A,, Toronto. Rance, C. C., Toronto. Rath, Mrs, Anna, Dundalk. •Rathwell, S. C.,- Luc]cnow: Ray, Mrs. W. M., Chapel Hill Rance, G., Toronto. Rider, Mn, London, Rider, Mrs:, London. Rider, Ruth; London. Rider, W. A.,. London. Reid," Mr. 3. W., Stratford. • Reid, Mrs J.'W., Stratford, Reed, Mrs. M.,. Toronto. Rhynas, Norman; St. Catharines.' Rhynas, Mrs. Norman, 81. Catharines. Rowe, Rota, Exeter. Rowe, . Vera, Exeter. Bustin, Edward, Mitchell. Ross, Geo .E., Detroit. Ros, Mrs. Geo. E., Detroit. Rossiter, H. London. It Rositer, Mrs. H., London. Robinsn, Russ,; Buffalo. Ross, W. M., .Stratford. Rowse, Louis, Detroit. Rowse, Fred, London. • Ruinball,. George, Flint, Mich. Sisman, Mrs„ A. C,, Detroit. Sheppard, Ben, Sault: Ste: Marie. Sheppard, Miss R. Sault Ste. Marie. Sears, Harry/South Bend, Ind. Stuart, I,, Brantford. Snaith,, J'„ Windsor. Smith, Mrs. 3, R., .Windsor.' give you leave; not before." ... They had 'never :thought of this, and it jarred thein somewhat. More consul- tations, more nods and winks for the Scotch adjunct. Up Tose Farleatex. He has quite a reputation at Farmer's Institutes as a "talker." .. Ile said that in all the course of liis career in that club, at all the meetings he. had evertattended, and he claimed to have some experience in these mat- ters, at all the social events, the din- ners, the suppers, the picnics, at all the gatherings, political, religious or social, that he was ever present at, he had never .. , heard. of such a. mon- strous example of high-handed, die ta'rial, inn -British, unconstitutional, autocratic action nn the part of 0 chairman as he had witnessed that evening. He got thus far before he took breath. I thought it well to let him turn on steam for about three min- utes.. It pleased him, amused the company and gave me time to think. I then turned to him, "Mr.'Forrester," I said, "If you think you are address- ing a Farmers' Institute or a Grain- ger convention ... you are mightily mistaken. Iam in the chair, sir. As long as I am in the chair ] rule this meeting.... When you or Mr. Jack- son or anybody else desires to say or do anything here tonight the permis- sin of me, the chairman, must first be obtained, ,• . Sit down at once and don't led me hear you or W. Jack- son speak again until .I give you leave." He sat down. ' Up rose, half falteringly, -that• elongated D. L. Macpherson, to enter a faint;iirotesli against the ruling of the chair. I promptly settled him with a glare... , But Jackson was speedily on his feet, Forrester ditto, and soon pandemonium ensued. 'I t 1 order bluff n tha • a vigorous b a saw g if'I was to play outniy hand. So ris- ing,in a State of apparently the high- est state of righteous indignation and condign', wrath, I, thanks• to mylung power, made myself: heard above the tumult, angrily pushed back my chair and told them plainly that if the au thority of the chair, was not upheld' and that promptly, I should -leave the. room. I will never, forget the amazed face of a neddy arrived official of the Molsons Ba'nlc . he was sure there would be blood spilled if not worse. However, I knew 'my men and .the. bluff worked. Down they ' sat and there was peace. I went -on with the program.' • .They held whispered conferences" After keeping them in suspense for at least twenty minutes I looked at Jackson and said in a very pomp- ous tone, "You how -have my permis- sion to say what you to rudely at- tempted at an earlier stage of the ev- ing." Up Jackson rose. He did his part well. I give him due credit for it. I never thought Billy had it in him, He roasted me up hill and down dale. He spoke in scathing denuncia-. tion of my imperious, domineering ways. He said there was nothing in- tended on his part but only the ut- 'most kindness and good will,,thajtrall his friends were actuated alike, and seeing at last he had lbeen permitted to Speak ,he would merely add, that the club had requested him to act as their spokesman and refer in the kindliest manner to my efficient sear vices which they desired to recognize by presenting me with 2 very hand - Sonia cutglass claret jug." :' • At the same time he ostentatiously ,opened the box, displaying, not a black doll, but, veritably, exactly just what he had been describing.. I would willingly at this ,point draw a vein. Perhaps it would be .better to do so. My feeling's can be imagined but not described. It would take the pen' of a Dlcicerrs 16 tell how the, chair- man` arose and in a voice somewhat. husky with emotion,' recounted the inunihating fact that he had, been de-' -' u eeived Basely, inhumanly taken in (Continued on Page Eight) and sold . (low' he thought all along? sideboard, a silent witness to the Ila truth of the abow,e story." Ali work satisfactory and of the Beet. Prices right ntario D e Kik Phone 234-x-2 a • ell You are "all 'wrapped up in the mer- chandise that fills. your store. You enthuse over the quality of this article and that line. You probably display th,e goods attractively, too. A11 you need ' now is to transmit ybtsr enthusiasm to the buying public of your community—and your goods will move out and profits roll in. ADVERTISE. For advertising makes the customers feel as you do about the' goods yogi have to sell. Every time you talk to prospective. buyers through an advertisement in The News -Record •you are increasing the fellow feeling that ibrings business to your store. "A Advertisement is an Invitation" • "People Shop Where They Feel Welcome" 1`ter5'O,.�O s isonanimmoinnew wants 'l'®'W9I111l11P C FraDln'iIVatrunIIB1�18Pla 4515 Pim 33 centDer mile to olate ixyon but sat west 20 Flue 3 rain Der milo, atartln¢ p bb d of Itdmoaton, MncLeod and Calgary Dolnt to Wlualpeg. Au a 1 Gth Froth Stallone In Ontario, Smelth'e Palle to and including Toronto on Lake Ohtarlo Shore �+; ' Lino and HOvelock-Poterboro Lino. 1,rom ell Stations IGingeton So Ronfrew Jusibtl n inaitufoe. From a1LStatione Dn,nool to Port MrNt ol1 and 1� keton to $ bo tnoTitetvo- �• 1 4 W e ayg0en,. �® rte® St 'a 1 Septi a -S on oro o udbu d Prom ,xr nt heat Lin . 4 - - Froet� t Stolons In Ontario South aha- Weet of Toronto toandincur ing, wanton, A$$ Sis Smd,.Nlagerp Fails inS Windsor. ii a 21 't Frog ars on Owon Sound, Walkerton Orangeville,. Teaewator, Elora. ldatoarol, Goderloh, 3t. 77yyarys,,,Port $urweil, and 3t. (Phomas Branches. S�9,pa,, /p gam, From all Station. Toronto' arra North to Bolton, inolueive. e t. 4th " From all Stations fret/Merle an the Miohinan Central, Pa eMarauette, Windsor,Eaess at 1.s V^ Shore, Ch tha Weilaoab g & Lake Erie, Grand River, Lek* Erle, & Northern and Toronto, Hamilton & Buffalo Railways. SPECIAL. TRAIN SERVICE FROM TORONTO Ludlam and Children -Specie, Cara will harems -trod raacrvcd for the caduvnod ve use of us, children and their Marts. Trivet Full information from any Canadian Pacific Agent. CANADIAN" PAC HARVESTERS •NTS`L ancrararmnranaso 1 5 0 TO WINNIPEG Plus half a cent a niile beyond to all points in Mani- toba, Saskatchewan, Alberta,—Edmonton,. Tennis, Calgary, MacLeod and last. Rto 0 g—Half a rept per m''b le tp Winnipeg, pits $20.00 te, dcstinntotl, f GOING A°I`ES ALiQxI7S.'d' AatIR and 21,at,,'. AUGUST 18 Toronto Caledon East, Boeton, Meaford, Penetang, Midland, Parry Sound, Sud- bury, Capreol, and east thereof. lin Ontario. • 1—To donto Inglewoodntario. AUGUST 21st r , g Jet. and all Stations south. and wast thereof in C -Special Train Leaves' Clinton,, Aug. else: Through Car to Winnipeg leaves Clinton 6,25 a.m. 'CANDARD.;•TIMB Throupth treaarax—Cosatfart®Stale Colonist ees6e I �}a curls orVllbzt►iDa�, and Children Cars— Purchase your :ticket to Winnipeg via Canadian Nt;tioos1 Railways, whether or riot your final destination in the West is a point on the Canadian 1National• a Tickets and all information;front nearest Agent: