The Clinton News Record, 1931-07-16, Page 3Deliciau
e lelsa': 1tt9le inre
t :_;
7
aI
sm Kraft Old -Fashioned Boiled Salad.
Dressing and you 11 'instantly acclaim, its
fresh, delicate, flavour, You It like its
velvety texture and revel in its creamy
smoothness,
Further, 2 targe 1Z ounce lar sells for only
25 :eats, one -halt the price you're used to
paying for this standard of quality, 'Tray
sonic today,
at lizietioned, :Boiled
Salad ress
NCade' in Canada by the Makers of Kraft
• Cheese and Velveeta
" nights' " Me ford Flooring
Ws Go,)d
See your dealer
It's Eves Better Get -our prices
!T' 'p° THE BEST
,The Knight Mfg. * Lbr. Co. Ltd., Hesford
Owl Laffs,.
Tramp--•"Can!you give me a bit& to
,eat?"
,Housewife—"Have you no trade; my
good man?"
Tramp—"Yes. I make counterfeit
money, but it isn'tworth what the
materials cost,"
A well driven golf ball leaves the
'lead of tb.e club at 135 miles an hour.
(This is said ,to be only slightly faster
than a golfer leaves the oillce.
Timid Citizen (to his lawyer)—"I'm
afraid of my wife. Wily, she's even
threatened to attack me with an axe,'
Lawyer—Muhl Why .worry about
pat? Did you ever see a woman. try
eto chop atick of wood?"
profession—Auy t rade that wouldn't
be necessary if people behaved them-
selves.
. Let's Send a Couple to Congress
'This old world has not grown decd-
dent,
Why spend useless house in rte
morse?
.There's just as much horse•sense as
ever• --
Though most of it's owned by the
horse.
Deeds Like These
Reap k'' ash Harvest
"It is not everyone that will take
a sickly orphan' child and nurse it
hack to good health but there are
some rare people willing to clo this,"
said a', J. I{eleo, Direotor of the On.
tario Children's Department to the
writer. Some years ago a worthy
couple from a lino farming district
requested a child they could help lay
sharing their home. They talked
like heart-huugty people and were
quite unselfish in titeir request for
soma little ratite that needed mother-
' ing. After they got through a long
story of t':err nice farm home, so
empty and so dull without a child.
and 'their own desire to do some good
in the world, they were sent to see
a delicate, ailing youngster that the
doctor reported as needing couatrg
air. With some misgiving they took
Iter home. The child walked like an
old woman and had poor eyesight,
and had not Much to toniatend her.
Later on a visitor wag sent to
make a report and this Is what he
WA: "The year this child has spent
with these kind people has ;brought
great improvement to her In many I
wage, Their sympathetic love, faith
and prayer have .done so much for
her that site can now 100 and play 1
and go about alone, The improve•
moot in Iter and the tender love and
care bestowed upon her is tills Monte
is quite mark eti"
Tho reporter WAS sent to write ute
'a charity ball, Next day the editor
'called him to bis desk, '
• J9ditor--"Look here, Scribbier, what
'do you mean by this? 'Among the
most beautiful girls was Horatio Lu•
'elan Dingley,' Why, you crazy idiot:
Oid Dingley isn't a girt—aid besides
Ito iv eee of our largest stockholders."
Bcrlbbior--"I can't help It, 'That's
tvhete he was."
Character Is what we stand for; re -
imitation is what we fall for. We.know
'a girl so dumb she Was tired from
tWoolworth's (not adv.) because she
ieoulcln't rentemborethe prices. Jude-
(ing front the code records a lot of
men met up with their wives when
ICeutral gave them the wrong uumbor,
;Every once in while the boy who re-
calved all the best grades in school
(surprises folks by succeeding after he
+leaves soiled, A. Scotchman was hav-
ing trouble with his eyes so went to
the oculist one day, to see what the
trouble was, Tho oculist told him he
had sugar In his tears, and the next
hnorniag his wile found film crying
over his cereal. A tax is about the
my thing is the world that can go tip,
and never come down. This wouldn't
be a hall bad country if all the graft- i
ug were left to the horticulturists. 1
"Nothing 'half-baked' about this
idea."
Mrs, NewIywod—"We hadn't been
imarried a week when lie hit me with
eta piece of sponge cake,"
Judge—"Disorderly oouduct. rive
Idollarg and costs,"
Mee. Newlywed (sobbing bitterly)—
v {
! Aud E made tile cake with my own
Planets."
Judge — "Assault with a deadly
!weapon—cue year in prison,"
What Do You Think?
Dear Colyune; "I've heard that some
husbands thihk their wives are regu-
lar animals, Maybe these are some of
Eta reasons:
1, Site has.a foxy look en her face.
2. She is a regular' little monkey.
3. She is a "white elephant,"
4. She is a regular old bear when
lout of bunter.
5, Santo people think she is a cat.
6, She is a regular mule for stub•
lbornuess,
i 7. She has a swanlilte neck.
8. Ilex canine teeth are prominent,
9. She Is as wise as an old owl.
10. Her actions are kittenish when
lobe is in the right humor..
11. She is a dear (deer),
12. She occasionally looks sheepbh.
13. She thlnits she 18 the goat,
14. She keeps an ,eagle eye on. him
Cali tete time.
i 15. She le a poor fish •
10. She has a wihale of an appetite.
17. She growls at him and snaps
iiis.hoad off occasionally,
;18. She laughs like a hyena
19, She does a lot of crowing.
—A Reader of Your Column,
How Are Your Feet?
(Foot troubles affect health and 'comfort'.
CRESS SALVE
;iromoves Corns, Callouses, Warts, In- .
jtown Toe -galls 4ulclty, easily, safely,
oat rub itch,
At leading* druggists or send for Jar, 508
t TIM 'OBEs$ Tzall0BdTORZEB
$4 Ahrens Street West, ICiteltonor, Oat,
Getting' the Laughs
h Hard Task
By JESSE L LASKY
(Condensed' from The American L.
gien Monthly, Apr11 1931, by Th
Magazine Digest).
The hardest thing for a shdwrna
to manage is the !eagle'; This treach
erous and indispensable factor ha
some of the hest of_as gucesing ai'to.
a lifetime in the business of entertain
•inent. Pathos, mystery, thrills, tone,
drama and even tt• pleasing combine
teen of qualities that sends an nodi
Oleo away with the waren' glow of, sat
isfaetion thatis"the object of the the
etre are, by comparison, simple t
execute.
There is, more in every mimed
situation than meets the eye. We
g;
make a picture in the script and jud
with fair„accuraey the ultimate posse
bilities hn every particular• exce it hit
neer. This we ;are never certain 0
'until the long (and costly) -read 0:
production has been travelled and th
filth is shown before a 'pay audienced
Playbacks of individual scenes and
projection ream showings of the whole
after it has been out and made ready
for release do not tell what we wish
to know. It takes an audience that
has come to be entertained to decide
whether the laugh spot brings laughs
or not. And no failure in the realm
of/film entertainment is more devas-
tating than the laugh which doesn't
come off.
Two years ago one of the finest
comedians in filmdom made Ms first
talkie, ' After all the time and money
and labor had been spent, the last
shot made and the last set struck, the
film arrived in New "York for a pre -
projection showing to a .small and
efitical .cluster of insides --executives,
salesmen, bookers, theatre owners,
and so on. The actor in question had
never made a failure, but we sat there
in that bare projection room, without
music or any of the things that ;,Tar-,
nish a motion picture performance,
and were dumbfounded. Not a laugh,
not a chuckle: The picture was a flop.
So we insiders thought. The coun-
try's verdict was otherwise. That
picture made two and a half million
dollars. Three out of five who read
these remarks say it and the chances
are they laughed their heads off. And
there you are. Laughter is conta-
gious. You must have ate audience
to tell if the germ is there.
La•tghter is a serious business with
us, On the stage a good actor controls
his audience. lie can start and end
laughs almost at will. But in pictures
you can'suspend the dialogue until
a laugh ha over.Sometimes the length
dee. laugh ie miscalculated and either
the following lines ate drowned out
or there is a dead spot where the
aagh didn't last as long as expected.
Sometimes it is necessary to crit out
a good laugh in a talkie because it
acts se long that it spoils a neves'
sary bit of dialogue.
We never can tell for sure when,
at what and how long they're going to
sigh, Some comedians believe the
lea of a joke seldom exceeds fourteen
ays, bet Al Harman's line about how
o divide three apples equally among
our persons (the answer is to snake
pplo sauce) has been In use for sigh_
teen years to my knowledge. Why this
should hold and it -must -have -been -
two -other -follows should go in sigh-
een months is more than I can say.
The talkies made the funny line,
or gag, a part of our stock in trado.1
he producing companies have a
corps of "gag men" thinking them up
11 the time. A sure -file formula is
reversing English on an. accepted an-'
wer. This is how Oscar Wilde did
is epigrams, epeeking, for example,'
of a man who had a lavish funeral 1
a "dying beyond Itis tneans." Groucho'
Marx is a master of this. In "Ami-
nal Crackers" his brother Chico, play-;
g a weird -looking instrument, says
ow much he intends to charge for a
erformance of one hour, two hours
nd so on. "How much would you
C
for not playing at all?" asks1
reecho. "Ole that would run into;
cal money," says Chico, which is
bat we call topping the gag. Those'
nos ac'+red one hundred per Cent.'
ughs. So did the one where Greecho .
to his hostess with "Do you'
Ind if I don't smoke?" As I write
hem they are nothing to fallout of
our chair about, but that is because
lack Geoucho's art—which establish- q
another point in this laugh -produc-
ing business.
There is less talk in the talkies now,
Today site is developing into an •I
attractive young lady with no serious d
defects or impediment/4 a reutark-
able tribute to the attention received f
Diem. these worthy foster' parents.
3058 now, colitluued Mr. I-Zelso, our
great desire. Is to get chiidrea out
of our Shallots and orphanages as
sunnutor visitors, Nearly twenty
have already gone lit this way, and se
wouderful service can be given the
province by Christian women mime
ing their hones to these-cititdreu fer
at least a short visit. Sochi and
Church workers and officers of Wo-
man's Institutes eau give valuable
help to their local Chttdrou's Aitt
Society by looking up suitable homes, It
• * a
Love
To lore the Lord 19 to perform IMO in
from Him as their sooree, and to h
love the nigfibor moans to perform p
uses to hen as their object; and a
that these uses ought to be done for
the sake of the neighbor, of the G
use, and of tits Lord, and that thus r
love returns to Him who is its source, +x'
and all love from Him who is its 11
source, by love to Him, who Is its la
object, returns "to tete love derived t.
from Him Who• Is its source; which to
return constitutes its reciprocatity; t
and love Is'contiuually going and re• y
turning by deeds which are rises, I
sine to love Is to do; for if hove es
be not done, it cease to be love; for
what is clone 13 its effected end,
500 1s that in which It exists.—
Swedenborg..
"Our Re -Union Day"
The attendant at the gas station was busy filling the tank of
the automobile.
"I have used twenty gallons of gas since I Ieft Havergil"
exclaimed the driver.
`tHavergil? why that's .my.' home town;" said the attendant
and his face lighted up with an added ixlterest,in the stranger.,
I left home last Fall in search of work. It was a hard. pull
to leave the old folks but there was no work there. They have a
telephone and each week I talk to them. We. call it our re -union
day". ,
As the stranger eased his car back into the stream of traffic
he said to his wife and daughter, "I wonder how many families,
separated just as this man is, are being re -united once a week
or oftener by means of the telephone? How much we all owe
to Alexander Graham,Belll"
brain and the funny -bone... A great
deal of the technique developed in the
silents is coming back. This centres
about the art of pantomime; one lif the,
oldestforms of humor, of which
Charlie Chaplin is, the greates mod-
ern exponent.
The oldest and surest device of the
pantomimist is the trick -fall. In the. -
Middle Ages when jesters were oblig-
ed to make, royalty laugh on. penalty
of death their ace in the hole was'thc
fall. Maurice Chevalier gets a laugh
when he falls on roller skates in his
haste to reach the beautiful blonde in
one of his plays.
All physical comedy is akin to
pantomime: Our fathers Iaughed at
pia throwing, exploding cigars men
Whig bricks in burlesque. As boys
we laughed at them in the silents.
With, certain refinements they're in
the talkies and will remain becausee
their principle is as old as humoritself, . So is the principle of reels.'ego.. A funny Negro must be lazy,
a Scotchmate parsimonious, a Swede
stubborn, an ' Irishman belligerent,
and an Englishman slow to get the
point—and alt mustlnisproonunce the
language.
Less widely known is the fact thut
children and animals nearly always
add' light touch, and cart take out
some of the stiffness.
It is very much simpler to make
audiences cry than to make theta
laugh. Grief is a common denontiu-
ator of mankind; The difficulties
which wo find in producing laughter
are present in; the deineation of pa-
thos, but in a smaller degree. Crowd
reaction is not so essential to tell us
where we stand. One person can usu-
ally get the roactiona which will
touch thousands to tears. Ruth Chat-
terton plays emotional roles perfectly,
because she is a perfect actress,
Contrition, repentance, sacrifice,
loss, compunctions of honor or duty,
courage with which one takes arrows
off adverse fortune—these invaelabiy
touch wellesprings. One of the most
effective scenes on the screen last
year depicted the fortitude with whieh
an old charwoman (Beryl Mercer)
went about her homely tasks when
the waif of a Canadian soldier whom
she had adopted was killed in battle.1
• Belt mistake rate not, tha volume of
laughs er tears or the number of times
our hair stands up over a thrift is
not the standard by which the success
of a picture is measured by that lion•
tamer of us producers, the audience,
It's the glow of satisfaction that a
fellow feels on the way home, No one
thing gives him that glow, but a com-
bination of many things, running the
gamut of the theatre's technique as
applied to' the human species in search
f recreation
than there was at first . The eye
remains the quickest messenger to the
:nySi! ."Y,j90ln8Or
The old saying that: "handsome,
is as handsome does" would seam
particularly emelicable to Hale the
Prince of Wales, who not only
launched the new Canadian Pacific
Item "Empress of Britain", but foie
towed her progress with such lettere
est that he flew down front London
and inspected her ittfortnally, prior
to her salting from Soutllamptou, on
May 27, on Iter maldett voyage. As
the great white ship made her way
down 8110 Solottt, he followed her by
aittilano; a royal sendoff, indeed.
The picture shows Hie Royal High
cess shaking hands with 15. 118,
Beatty,I(,C„ chairman and president
of the Canadian Pacific Railway
Company, on this occasion and wish-
ing him and the vessel good luck,
Moon and Pony
I hoard my pony cropping grass
in the dead hours of night,
When tine moon upon by window -
glass
Wrote a groat 0 91 light.
I looked, and on the pasture lay
Tho moonlight and tate dew;
Grass, hedge and ate were blanched
and gray,
And my /mean pony too.
The trees above the further fence,
With shadows huge and blurred,
Stood in a dreamy /Airiness, whence
Nor leaf nor shadow stirred,
Curls should never, never throw And darkness fine as poppy sped
lassos. It's almost Imposslllle 'for Powdered tete giimmerieg air,
them to hit the ohject aimed at. So that the sky was blue indeed,
But stars were brighter there;
While down below me in the night,
So empty and so 'stilt, '
Pulling and ninneiting, bit and right,
My pony cropped els 1111.
--Virdelt D, Tucker in "John CYLon.
don."
What is Man?
This little life -boat of an earth,
with its noisy crew of a mankind,
and all their troubled history, will
one day have vanished; faded like
a cloud -speck from the azure of tha
Alli What then is man? He em
duras but for 'an hour, and is crush-
ed before the moth. Yat hi • the
being and in the 'working of: a faith-
ful man is there already (as all faith,
front tho beginning, gives assurance)
a something thatpertainsnot to this
wild death element of time; that
triumphs over time, and is, and will
be when time shall be no more.—
Thomas Carlyle.
eta erk-
i� °.�.. �D
228
acne= qfi "a xr, , 1tstilLa i %Chtiqiifted
Saturn as Two Classified 'A.ivertising
s%rays to Our i'/' lfle
Diameter Ten Times That of
• Old Mother Earth
On these warm, clear moonlight
nights turn your gaze toward "old•
men•ln-the-mooa" and notice a small'
but brightly glowing spot near the
earth's satellite. There ,you see Sa-
tura about as clearly 38 it will ever lie
seen, Saturn, yon may recall, he one
01 the several planets In our solar sys-
tern, which, like the earth, is under
the.iuftueuce of the sun.
Compared with our earth Saturn is
quite a planet, for its diameter is over
ten time that of the earth, But for
all its size it believes in speed, for it
churns out two days while our planet
M making one.
Although Saturn thus maintains
rapid revolution, it has that attributed
feminiue characteristic of avoidiug
age, for its year, or the period of eye -
tic motion about the sun, is about
thirty times as great as that on earth.
On earth standards any hypothetical
itrhabitaats reach maturity before one
year of age and die before three.
With even a email telescope Saturn
changes its appearance considerable
and proves to consist of a central ball
surrounded by flat rings. -Por low-
power instruments only one ring is
present, but on greater magnification
three rings make their appearance, so
that the planet looks like a huge Pan-
ama hat thrice brimmed. Possibly
one should say the planet looks like
two hats placed together, with the
crowns £ornttng the ball, and the three
brims representing the Tinge.
The fact that during the Week of
July 1 Saturn appeared very close to.
the moon is offered only because at
that time there can be no mistake in
identity. Actually the planet is thous-
ands of times farther away from -our
earth than the moon.
Tricky
"That's a very knowing animal,"
said the young titan to the keeper
of the elephant at tate circuit,
"Vary," was the cool rejoinder,
"He perforate strange tricks and
antics."
"Does rte?" inquired the youth,
eyeing the animal critically.
"Surprising," replied the keeper.
"We've taught hen to put moue/ in
that box up there.
"Try him with 600"
Sure enough the olepltant took tete
money in his trunk and put it in a
box which, hung high on the wall.
"That's extraordinary," said the
smart ono. "Now lot me see hint
take it out and hand It back again."
"We haven't°taught bite that trick
yell" retorted the keopor, blandly.
Nurses laded
The Toronto Hospital for xnouratIee,
in affiliation with POrdham Hospital,
Drew Yorke Olt offers a Three Thaw'
0ourse of 'raining to Yonne W01110%
having the required education,. and •e-
strous of becoming nurses. This Penn-
tal has adopted the otght-hour system.
Tht, pupils receive uniforms of tha
School, a monthly allowance and :ravel -
lin, emi r: ses to and from view York.
]Nor further parttenlars write or •un:v
to the ''uD=r:ntondca..
yFREE BOOKS
ON CHILD
WELFARE
BABY oxrrcocs _.
y BABY - CHICKS, I3ARRICO
" L Rocks IOo, White and BrownLPul-
lets, weeAnemias
o 01,1t ISa; Assorted . 68c.P A,
IT, Switzer, Greatest, Ontario..
1 211PERaT 211)1)011 11'1NtS131NG, Ole.t
A'J roll,. any ate pOstpaldi extra pitete
3e each. Jaettson Studio, Seaforth, Ont,
Sisters
Martha built the fire,
Martha baked the bread;
Mary roamed the fields beyond,
To watch the sun sink red.
Martha swept the hearthstone,
Mary swept the sills;
Mary spoke to all the trees
And .sang to all the hills,
Martha's soul in order
Clamoured for release;
Mary's in confusion touched
The quiet hands of peace. n
—Mary S. Howling in tate New York
Times,
L
HIGHEST PRICES PAID
The Canadian Wool Co. Ltd.
2 CHURCH ST., TORONTO
!ILA [(HEADS
Don't suffer any longer from these
unsightly blemishes, Overcome them at
home. Get 2 on Peroxlne Powder front
Your druggist. Sprinkle a little on the
face cloth, firmly with a circular motion
and the blackheads will be all WasEED
AWRY. Satisfaction or money returned.
PIM LIES
Add an equal amount of
eteatn, or tweet oil, to Wi-
nd's, end apply the mixture
once daily. A simple treat-
ment which will . w•` w
Clear up your skint
?revent
S.bindle'
Upsets'
Warns weather and changes of food
and water bring frequent summer
upsets uniesa healthy elimination is
assured. Yon will find reen.a-,mint
effective in milder doses and espe-
cially convenient and pleasant for
summertime use.
HnRit are many idea* that
will proves boon to moth-
er and baby. Sound authority
on feeding, clothing and wk.
inn care of Infants and young
children. Tables of weight.
growthand development.
We will (gladly mail the books
to you free, on keeolpt of your
name aced address.
Eagle, Brand.
cONOENSCO ] i 1 k
The Borden Co., Limited QW to
115 George St., Toronto
Cantlement Please send mo a
VIM copy of your Baby's Record
Book and Baby Welfare Book.
Natue
Address
0 i+: bt�, N S I PA tl I O
I "It is Regulating Ill:," she says
Swat Flees
and stain your c; -tills.
Hang up Aeroxon. A
wider and longer rib-
bon is coated with the
sweetest of gine that
will not dry. Good for
3 weeks' service.
At dru& grecery end
hardware atoms
Sera seen+.°.
AIEWT®DrA.HI.Ita,
ee prom tat. Zest.
Toronto
3.tly 7, 1211.—When the giant Ounarder "Aquitanla" called at Halifax last Sunday on the Dist mini-!
versaiy of the Line, a deputation of prominent Nova PeotIana headed by Lt. -Gov. Stanfield, Mayor Ritoh12
elf Halifax, and the Hon, `'John Doetl, proeincial Secretary, weiceined Commodore E. G. Diggle, R,D., RNA.,1
master of the ship, officially la the name of the province. Prom left to right in the photograph. are, • ete
Gov. Stanfield,. Commodore 17. G, Diggle, R,D., R,N.R., Eric Reford, €tu^:.1 lsaa^.gar of the Cunard Line In
C:leada, a. Kennett Daffus of ',telefax, L. G. Ritchie, Mayor of hall nx, 7 v. 2 Orin Doull,. provincial.. tteere-
te1:•y, Commode •e Hose, director of Naval Services, Ottawa. This whir ' f.:r,t of the er dress filter weolc
cud cruises from New York to Idallf x and brought nearly 1205 Americas .unser .to the Nova Scotian port, ,
2WetaseiO6tafi
"T TOOK Lydia fl. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound for
painful and irregular periods. 1
had no color in my face and felt
draggy,
"My mother told me about the
medicine last summer. Since talc-
ing 151 suffer less and it is regulate
ing me:
"My color is normal and 1 feel
like a different chroman," writes
Mrs. David Thomson, 37.981*
Street, N. W., Portage La Prairie,
Manitoba. Won't you try a bottle?
AVOID LOSS
By keeping 'your valuable papers,
Jewelry, etc., in the patented OuepraOf
cabinet which casts only $1075. In.
formation supplied by
aexiaErnOOP bsBxNETe. as sArGS
TallaTED
363. Greenwood Avenue, Toronto
AMIO*ON
i rCATelleit
Gets the Ay every time q
,.' t '''i'r + .>'''t:P fi✓,i %!e!• §. e.a. f:-+ d r'1', !
ISSUE No. 29—'31