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The Brussels Post, 1949-9-7, Page 7More Tall Stories Of The -Sea Another.entertaining story of the sea is the one about the giant ship, It Is Scandinavian in origin and, I believe, seventeenth -century.. The ship it tells of was so big the tops of her masts were lost in the clouds, and a young apprentice who went aloft to furl sail was old and gray-haired by the time he got down an deck again. The journey up the rigging was so great that little rooms were arranged in the bloc1cs for the rest and refreshment of the sailors on their way up and down. Her hull was so long that a serv- ice of coaches ran between the poop and the forecastle, and the captain and officers went about their duties on horseback, As further proof of her gigantic size, it was said that the Island of Bornholm in the Baltic was tirade by one emptying of the cook's refuse and ashes from the galley fire. This great ship once attempted to sail down the English Channel and found that she was too tight a fit to pass through the Straits of Dover. The captain, with great in- genuity, turned out his crew and set • then to work plastering the ship's sides with soap, So she just managed to squeeze through—and that is why the cliffs of Dover are white! Another astounding, sea story conies front the East. A friend of mine, born in India, tells me that when he was a child, his bearer used to tell .him this yarn as a bed -tune story. An Arab seaman was coasting in his dhow, and passed near to a ' rocky island which, unknown to him, had magnetic properties. As his vessel got within range of the .magnetic .field, all the iron nails and fastenings suddenly leaped out of place, flew towards bhe island, and stuck there while the ship went to pieces, • The story ends well, however; the sailor clung to the planks and managed to get ashore. To conclude, I will tell you a tallish story which happens to be true, and I can vouch for it, writes William McDowell in "London Calling." In my north country there Is a river—not very long and not very intportan•t—which runs into the Irish Sea. There is a big rise and fall of tide there, so much that at low tide .only little boats can use the river, but on the top of the tide, small coasting steamers can go up and load the iron ore which £e mined in those parts. Some distance up this river, there are fields on the bank, in .which a local man, one Jos Fisher, kept ducks—lots of ducks. One day, on the top of an extra -high spring tide, the river overflowed its banks, flooded the duck pastures, and Jos Fisher's ducks sailed out to freedom and wen t downstream as the tide fell. Hundreds Around the Ship At the mouth of the river, one of the little bre steamers was anchored, waiting for the tide to turn and allow her to go up for her cargo. It was foggy and the water was very still. The mate, hearing strange noses in the fog, looked overside, and to his amaze- ment saw hundreds of ducks quack- ing and splashing round the ship. They were doubtlessly attracted to it as being the only object in sight. He naturally began to wonder w here he was, and called the skip- per., who cane from those parts, looked over the side and laughed. "Why," he said, "them's Joe Fish- er's ducks, We'll take tiers home, Get the pick-up, mister, and go dead slow 'so's they can follow us." They raised the anchor and crept slowly up the river, the ducks fol- lowing. The fog lifted as they neared the jetty where they loaded, and the whole village turned out to see the ship come up with Jos Fisher's armada of ducks swimming bravely behind it, all very relieved to get back hone, it is almost needless to add that skipper was 'known as "Captain Duck" for the rest of his life. He never lived down the story of how he played nursemaid to Jos Fisher's duck'. Properly Squelched The meeting had been long, the speaker bull, and everyone groaned when Jones was introduced as next on the program, He was an impor- tant man, but his reputation for long-windedness preceded hits wherecvcr he went, "Gentlemen," he began, glancing at his wrist, "1'm afraid I've forgot- ten my•watch-•-but I'll try not to talk too long." Whereupon he was interrupted by a voice from the back: "Don't worry about your watch, Jones! There's a calendar on the left-hand wale" SMART KID Mrs, Chase matte the mistake of leaving the baby in her husband's care while she went into the lil>rary to pay the month's hill, Mr. Chase buried himself behind the news- paper, and forgot all about the baby until he heard a series of thumps, followed by a horrendous wall, Clearly, the baby had fallen down the stair's, "Martha," called Ur. Chase excitedly. "Colne gaieltl Junior just took his first forty- eight steps!" • The Big, Big Apple—Enough to turn any youngster pie -eyed is this 450 -pound whopper displayed at the Railroad Fair in honor of International Apple Day. • Dickie Powers, 7, and Jessie Bestow; 9, gaze hungrily at the ponderous pastry, billed modestly as the "world's biggest apple pie." Ten bushels of apples went into its. making. Infectious Laugh Ry Richard Hill Wilkinson It was Ethan Pryor's laughter that first attracted Abigail to him, When Ethan laughed, every one else laughed. The sound had that mirthful, appealing quality that was infectious, It was good to hear. It gave you a feeling of well being. This all happened in 1929, when Ethan's retail antique business was netting him $15,000 a year. It was easy to laugh then. They were a jolly couple. In, 1931, Ethan's retail antique business dropped off from one-half its top amount to one-third, then to one-quarter, That year passed and the next.' The Pryors didn't find it so easy to laugh. They gave up their seven - room apartment and moved into a less expensive one. In January of 1934 they moved into a single room in an unfashionable part of the city. Ethan was making barely enough to keep then from starving. • Abigail hunted for a week and eventually won for herself a job. It wasn't much of a job. She sat behind a glass window all afternoon and evening selling 'tickets for a stock company performance. - The stock company wasn't doing so well, It looked as thqugh it might fold up any day. But it paid $15 a week and would have to do until she could get something better, Inspired, a little ashamed, Ethan went job hunting himself. He hunt- ed a week, two weeks, without success, He began to brood. Abigail did her best to cheer him up, to get hint into a happy frame of mind, "Let's hear the old laugh ring out, darling. A pleasant frame of mind is half the battle." Site sat on the arm of his chair, "Tell you what. Let's celebrate. Let's take $5 and go down to Tony's. We can have a gay time for a change." They went to Tony's, They drank wine and ate a big dinner. They danced. They sat and watched the floor show. Et• wasn't a bad floor ' show. Among other things, there was a comedian. Thecomedianwas sad. He wasn't funny. But Abigail laughed. She laughed as though she thought he was tremendously funny. Ethan looked at her, A fond light came into his eyes. She was trying to be gay. She was doing all she could to bolster up his spirits. He could at least help. Ethan laughed, It was the old time, mirthful, appealing laughter. It rolled out and filled the room. Others heard it. Others laughed. They couldn't help it. They laughed with Ethan. The comedian was• in- spired. After the show, a man caste up and sat down at Ethan's and Abi- gail's table. Abigail introduced hint as the owner of the stock company show where she sold tickets. His name was Jones. "Listen," said Mr. Jones, "we'll pay you $5 a night to conte and laugh at our show. It's supposed to be a funny show. You -can put it acros," Ethan scratched his chin. He looked at Abigail. He said: "Well, I dunno. For $40 a week, I might consider it." "Sold!" said Mr. Jones. Ethan looked at his wife when "Well, I guess we laughed our way through that depression." he got house. "You planned it!" he accused. "Sure," said Abigail. "When you have something, it should be cashed in on, You can laugh your way to riches, my dear." Times were getting better. People were buying antiques. By the be- ginning of 1936, he was doing quite well. That summer he enlarged his shop. • "Well," said Abigail, happily, "I guess we laughed our way through that depression all right." Ethan kissed her. Then he threw back his head and began to laugh. He laughed loud and long. "There," he said, "that laugh isn't going to .cost any one a cent. From now on I laugh because I want to and free of charge. Honey, I love you!" "Ditto," said Abigail. .m. moor — By Harold Arnett HERE'S AN IDEA FOR A COMFORTABLE LAWN SEAT: ' SIMPLY REMOVE THE ROCKERS OF AN OLD ROCKING. CHAIR, IN- VERT THEM, AND SCREW THEM TO THE TOP AFTER SAWING OFF TH& REAR ONES --+ BENDING VIP OP: - R aent°Vw Nom DR DAN NoE .... 'ter, OS RfNr.; w gY BENp • a CLOSELY. -°SE Y TNG Ri A HOE 71t� TOP Si 44'�1 HAV& N GLg FoRW , AND R MoV/HG, !WEED& Nr SE SAT 7HgHOE Ts va. SRN HAVE S PLAN Al CLOSE R t. �o . AHp � P krionts WNN os& E 1ta 1r, i & WEEas• LOOS N Changing Of The Guard Every morning at 10,30 ever since 1660 the mounting of the Sover- eign's Guard has -taken place in Lon- don. In 1939 the full dress uniforms were put away in favour of khaki battledress but this summer they have been restored and the Chang- ing of the Guard in all its glory now takes place as before. When the King is in London the Guard is mounted at Buckingham Palace; when he is out of town it is mount- ed from the Colour Court of St. James's Palace, both perfect set- tings for the red coats and black bearskins of the Guards. The Changing of the Guard is a unique and stirring ceremony that visitors to London are always anx- ious to see. Even in bad weather it nearly always draws a sprinkling of sightseers and in summer, in the streets behind the Palace, dozens of motor coaches draw up and from their pour streams of eager tourists, ••each party with an omniscient guide to explain the significance and his- tory of the Changing of the Guard. The crowd watching the historic ceremony often consists of a couple of thousand people, who press against the railings of the Palace courtyard, crowd the steps of the Victoria Memorial that faces it and stand along the kerb. Americans, Europeans, British subjects from every part of the Commonwealth as well as people from all over the United Kingdom are there, the most junior members of the crowd perch- ed high on their fathers' shoulders. As the new Guard, preceded by its regimental band, comes swing- ing into the courtyard, hundreds of cameras click into action. Pictures of the Guards starching with the precision for which they are famous, a precision which seems as though their legs are controlled by a mas- ter switch and could not possibly be motivated by separate men, are not the only ones taken. It is al- most a natter of routine fry• visit- ors to stand atthe side of a Palace policeman or an impassive guards- man outside his sentry box, whilst. another member of the party takes a pictorial record of the occasion. Re- cently a small kilted Scots girl was persuaded to stand there, a stance she was loath to take up, for a red coated soldier wearing a huge bear- skin and holding a' fixed bayonet was a terrifying companion for a five-year-old and one she could not stomach without the physical as well as moral support of her mother. Hot Stuff Two buzzards were lazily wing- ing over the Arizona 'desert when a jet-propelled plane suddenly went hurtling by, its exhausts belching flanne and smoke, The buzzards silently watched it disappear Into the Western slcy, and then one of them found his voice, ."Holy car- rion," he said. "Was that bird In a Murry!" "Listen, Lucius," opined. the other, "you'd be in a hurry too if your tail was on fire," Efficiency is getting other people to do the jobs you don't like. World Rain Shortage Now If you imagine the earth as a 10 -inch ball, then all life is sup- ported inside a film of air and water about two thousandths of an inch thick. This relatively thin sheet is fluid with clearly ,defined currents of air, A small change in ' them, and fertile land would become desert, or vice versa. The great Sahara desert, for in- stance, is merely an area over which flow currents of air that are very dry. Hence little or no rainfall. If it were possible to deflect south- wards over this area some of the moist currents costing from the polar regions, it would get a normal rainfall, But if we increase the rainfall in one place we decrease it in another. It wouldn't do to stake the Sahara fertile if at the same time we turned Great Britain, and possibly France and most of Europe, into desert. And even if we were able to dis- tribute evenly the rain falling on the land surfaces of the world, there would not be sufficient to make all countries fertile. There is just not enough water in the atmosphere to go around. - z With the rapid increase in the worrd's population, this is a serious business. World population is in- creasing at approximately thirty mil- lions andually. Unless tremendous advances are made in irrigation schemes and bet- ter farming methods, many millions will starve, since there will not be the rain available to make fertile enough ground on which their food must be grown, The development of new conti- nents, such as Australia, is vitally bound up with this question of rain- farll. In Australia the limit set by some experts, on account of . the rainfall, is a population. of thirty millions. Yet there is room in terms of laud for twenty tines that num- ber. Still Do Albert—"I,. like to think of olden tines when women would sit by the hour beside their spinning wheels." Filbert—"They still do, until some man conies along and puts their chains on," THE FARM FRONT okili2usse1.. A week or so ago, I wrote a rather depressing account of what damage grasshoppers are doing over in sone of the western States, and how the fanners in California and other coast districts were fear- ing that the pests would finally reach there and do untold millions of dollars' damage. * e * Now, from our own Midwest oomes word of how a very similar menace was foreseen and --if not completely wiped out — at least largely controlled. I think some of you might be interested in hearing about what happened. It certainly illustrates the value of those twin virtues, preparedness and co-opera- tion. • * * Last fall entomological surveys of Western Canada grain lands in- dicated 1949 would see one of the worst grasshopper plagues in the history of the Prairie Provinces. This was grim news to the farmers of Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta. * * * For they know the grasshopper well. They recalled other years when the winged invaders came; great areas of lush countryside ren- dered completely barren as if the farmers themselves had carried out a scorched earth policy; empty grain elevators; empty pocketbooks and complete desperation. * * * During previous plagues, little was accomplished to halt the vora- cious insect horde. Wa stings of in- festations often came too late. In- adequate methods were used to.de- stroy the attackers. Destruction to crops was usually complete. " * * * This year, matters were different. After last year's plague, teams of entomologists went out In the field to determine the degree of infesta- tion by counting grasshopper eggs. They found millions of them. They charted maps showing the extent of infestations in various areas of the provinces. They passed on the in- formation to the people. * * * Then the battle really, began! Agricultural chemists came out with two stew lethal poisons lar superior toy those used previously. Industry made these available to Western farmers in great quantities. Provincial governments made dress available to farmers through their municipalities, * * * A flood of educational publicity was turned loose early in the year in the press, on the radio, through lectures by local agricultural repre- sentatives. Every Westerner was so grasshopper -conscious by the titsas the 'hoppers hatched, they knew exactly what to do to stem the ih- vasion. And they did its * * * Prom latest available reports, the invasion has been repelled. It is true that some damage has been done, but only a small fraction of what was anticipated. It le the first time a grasshopper plague has been successfully curbed In Can- ada. * * * Which should be about enough for one session, except for this yarn which you may not have heard be - fors --or anyway, recently. It's about a bunch of race track mea who were holding a- session one evening and lying—as such charac- ters sometimes do—about the won- derful horses they'd owned or bred. One tall tale led to anoUher until an old "Kentucky Colonel" came out with an anecdote that topped all: * * * "1 rememberauk, a race of 16 i thoroughbreds n which nay mare, Honeysuckle, participated. The stake was $300,000. Gentlemen who owned the best horse flesh in alt the South were present, not to men- tion a few Yankees. Weld, auk, Honeysuckle was: leading the field, whioh was no surprise to me, when on the backstretch I noticed her hesitate. And then and there she had herself a foal. I had bred her the year before, but didn't !snow she was foaling," • At his point, someone in the audience sympathized and said, "Tough way to lose e. race,' "Who said anything about Los- ing?" the -good Colonel concluded. "Honeysuckle never lost, She had her foal, Then site won the race by five lengths." "And," he added, n`the foal caste fen second." The raving beauties la these beauty contests include the losers. UNG FA ORAS MER DRAGS T F LANE fa Charles Soucy, of Wildwood, Aha., fights flames to save pilot and passenger. It was after midnight when Charles Soucy heard the airplane crash: Racing a mile across the wheat fields, he found the ma- chine in flames — with the pilot and a woman passenger still trapped •inside! Working coolly and quickly, Soucy managed to force open the plane door and drag the pilot to safety. Then, grabbing an axe, he THE DOW AWARD is a citation presented for acts of outstanding heroism and includes a $100 Canada Savings Bond. The Dow Award Committee; a group of editors of leading Canadian daily newspapers, selects winners from recommendations made by a nationally known news organization. DOW BREWERY cut away part of the framework under which the woman was pinned. In spite of the flames, he finally succeeded in. freeing her. Thanks to his cool bravery, two lives had been saved .. . and we pay sincere tribute to gallant Charles Soucy through the presentation of The Dow Award. E MONTREAL atan04