The Brussels Post, 1887-3-18, Page 3MARCH 18, 1887
Vo.etrt�,
WOUNDING TH14 II1'N,
/'It's woll 1 rail into the garden,"
Said kItlilio, his face all aglow ;
"For what do you think, malnlna, hap.
period
You novel' will eons, it, I know.
"'The little brown lien was 31101'0, cluekiug;
'Cit eat,' shod arty, quiolc 4331 a with(,
'!open '(tut cul' a;; in, only slower,
And then ho would stop short and
think,
''.1113 then she would say it all over,
She did look sa mad and so vexed,
For, mamma, do you know, she'd for-
gotten
Tho word that she ought to chunk next.
Sa I.said, 'Ca•daw-cut, ca.daw-ant,'
As loud and as strong as I could,
And she looked 'round at me very thank-
ful ;
hank-
ful;
I tell you, it made her feel good.
"Than ,he Napped, and said, "Cut out—
ea-claw-out ;"
Sheremornblrcd just how it wont thou.
But it's well I ran into tho gardon—
She might never have cluolted right
again I"
THAT'S WHAT'S TAB 111ATT1'IR.
Lot dogs delight to bark and bite,
For 'Ifs their nature to ;
But Yankees can't afford to fight,
Whatever s.se they do.
Our Government should never lot
Its angry passions rise,
13ocauo we are not reedy yet
For foes of any size.
Ills likely we may never bo,
Although our words aro rash,
Boauso ase do not wise, you see,
To spend the needful cash.
The cash we've got, right on the spot,
And more there is behi• d ;
But those who ought to use the same
Are sadly deaf and blind.
For this and that. no matter what,
Thy spend our money free,
But dribble tardy d011are for
Tho seacoast and the sea,
In vain a toothloss lion roars,
. Or barks a harmless pup ;
A nation with defenceless shores
I:Tad better—shut—right—up.
So harsh rebuffs, with Icicles and cuffa.
\lust be our daily share,
Because our very tender spots
Won't let us do or dare.
So Canadsy must have her way,
And right mart yield to gall,
limboso the %ord. W. want to say
-Can't be ua0,.n1 Op at 3331.
—New York 140.
A 11ECEIT'T F011 COLI) F111IPT.
For nothing at all we 'sill give a receipt
For pleasantly warming ill winter your
feipt.
First see that the shoos or the boots you
11115y w,ar
Aro p011031et1 3`..015 IllO171111g With scrttpul-
o. a clout'.
This reason ie founded. on science, you
know,
And will, if it's followed, relieve you of
WOW.
)ou't purehitse a tightfitting boot or a
shoe,
But get a 0140larger, or better, get toe.'
13o sure they are stout ones and perfectly
w1,010,
Made low in the heel, thick, broad in the
wsolc.
'1' hen oiling them, go without rubbers,
which sweat
And Idako your feet tender to coldness
and went.
Some folks woolen stockings prefer, but
they should
Wear :u.clis made of cct1ov, as those are
171010 good.
For fret, like your face which in winter
Is bare,
Grow tough when expc'tc:l to 111e frost in
the are,
No ohhblains will itch you or give you au
abbe,
T. f, 0'104 it is led time, anvil v: te-e you'll
tache,
And plows yo'''1' feel. in 11.-113cn 1 e 'cm
with might,
1'ntil they grow se:n'1(4 and --probably
• wight,
Now toast'rn1 awhile by the grate, and 1.
000,0
You'll find this 0000411 fa cold Teipt 1t
0 1000441,
;1,
Some husbands, who , think they're its
sharp 00 a 101110,
Will warm their cola feet on It poor,
sleepy kwife.
That's cold.blooded murder for which
W0111011 wino
Can get a divoros from such marital also.
NARK TWAIN ON 1� 1I1Bt11W.
BHP 50118 wi1118 1m lrrtowra about 1'11334,
0014, Mbesp 1U.II080rses.
I have been introduced to you as
1111 experienced agriculturalist.
(Laughter.) I love the farm. Adam
loved the farm, (Laughter.) Noah
loved hes vineyards. Horace loved
the farm, as is shown by that groat
book, ,"What 1 know about 4111141•
ing." (Laughter.) Washingtou,
Webster and 238001100 worn allured
by the Rttraolions o1 agriculture.
Some ono said to Beecher, "Keep
your sews 01111 of my shrubbery,"
"Keep pair ,hrubb••ry en .,l toy
eowe," replied Beeeher ; it spoils
the milk. (Laughter) [loge are -
lutrd animals to drive over a bridge.,
(Laughter) I Once 1411w a nem
rigid several Milo+on. the 11013 •'1 It'
hog that 11311/011 1,14)1 in opposition
to 111e solicit:1130ns et the drivel' uu
approaching a bridge, (bitngh' 3 r )
1 1%111 toll you of It safe way to get
hoes over a bridge I It:iil them awl
draw 3310311 0101' 131 t34''ge"41 (la 111;11
ter ) Bogs are food of spina 1331111,4
and spring hhichens. leo; 34:131 tat
their own 011.1)31113 if no lambs t'0
chickens are one. d ku tho market.
(Laughter.) \V On a boy I Wit 110
lioitod to escort a pig to it neighbor's
feria. A strung rope tied to the
pig lel{ was placed in my heed 1
dui not ku 'w hetero :he '.j10od 4111
strlugth of it pig. (Laughter ) But
they do not rout the sync, you want
thein to ru11. (Renewed laagh(0r.)
A pit; can draw 14 canal 11041 W1411
1110 1040 1111(4 tied to his hind leg,
but 1 Mould not insure the canal
boat. Ilogs are cleanly, orderly,
silent and not bent ou miscuief—
(13uolhler)—whoa cut up and salted
in a tight barrel, with a heavy
weight on tho lid. (Prolonged
langhtc'r.) That is all I know
44 boat hogs. -
I love Bows; (Laughter.) What
is so meek and 1uw•ly—(ltlughter)—
as a luoolev cow 1 City people aro
foolish to be frightened at cows. I
was never hurt by a cow but once.
Ho shook hie head at mo from, be
hind a strong gate. I felt the se•
cora), of my position and shied a
pumpkin at hire. H0 came through
the gate as if it were a spider's web
and then I 14158 sorry I did it.
(Langhter ) This kind of a cow
nhonld not bo fooled withunlessyou
are tired of monotony. (Laughtur.)
The poet loves to dwell upon milk
maids, milking tune and lovers
sparking over the farmyard gate,
but no such poet. could ever llt5ve
milled rt cew in fly time. (Laugh
er.) 1 cannot imagine a succe6sinl
lovo suit at such 34 season. I milk
ed the flows 0110 night %vi at1 the
b ys were off en a FI-artim of July
(Laughter.) 'leant is, I milked ono
and n hall cows. (Laughter.) The
iaot one was so busy kuoclnng off
flies with her hind foot I thought I
toad better not disturb her longer.
A pail of fresh milk kicked over a
boy does not improve his clothes or
temper. Some say I milked from
that wrong siren. (Great Lattgllter)
I thought I would be sore and be
right, so I milked half on one side
and half ou ilio other. (Renewed
laughter.) I RHS on the other side
when she liuocked off most flies.
Can anyone tell me why a cow
should be permitted to dio"ato which
.aide a man shall mill from ? I
claim the right of my choice at least
half of the time.
Sheep aro my special delight.
Low gracefully the lambs gambol
over the green ! I trust you never
gambol over the green. Nothing so
patient ar,(l modest as a ehoep.
(Lanyhter.) Some say a scamp is
the bleel( 011uep of the flock, but a
black sheep is just ns respectahlo as
any, and the color line should not
thus be drawn. (Laughter.) I
Once fiahod on the bluff, and case
ally discovered a sheep 'with large
crooked horns, Doming at mo with
her head down and fire in her eyes.
The fish was not biting well, so I
loft any sport and dodged behind a
stump. The sheep fell on the rooks
below and broke her neck. For
this act T have since bean accused
of non protection in the wool traf-
fic. This reminds me of It Com-
missioner of A13ri0ttllnr0 in old
limes who purchased 01X hydraulic
rams for the Unproven -mitt of Ame.'-
L::an flocks, (Prolonged laughter'.)
Feather beds are 11111111' frnln geese,
but all woolen goods and drums are
made from sheepskins. (Applause.)
I take great pride in the horse. '
He is the noblest Roman of 11101.
1111. ' (Laughter) I once left Step- '
hens' 1101'40 to water, I:tow proud:,
ly leo ar0hed his neck and Mill Ile
was hO fond of me he treed to em-
brace lee with his front feet. But I
WW1 so shy 1:o turned about and
playfully knocked by hitt off with
his heels. (Laughter.) 1 told
Stephens T thought parses looked
much hotter Walking on four feet.
than on two foot. A horse presses
hard W11011 your toe is 0anght under
his hoof. I speak net from theory,
but from actual experience. (Laugh-
ter.) I event riding with Stephens'
horse and ho, shied and danced pro-
vokingly. :Creat him kindle, said
Stephens. Never beat a horse, By
and by S1op11on§ thought he would
got out and walk for exercise. 'You
may let bim feel the lash a little
11017, said Stephens. A little alit -
TH E $RUSSEILS POST
flora 1e a composition I wrote on
fanning a'ueu it boy:—l"'arming is
bealtlly wort( ; but no man can run
a faro, and sear bis best clothes at
the tome time. Bitber the farming
wait cease while the now olothea
0uutnlu0, or thenow 01011(es. mastcease 11,11110 funnel., con ILIUM This
shows that fanning 18 nut so 01040
0'0111 140 being li 00tlgrsoeInan o1' a
001n1011nt1srer, for these In013 eau
west' good clothes if the, eau lint)
ul„ney 1, pay for them. (Laughter )
, Verniers got up 0arly to the -morn.
tug. They say the early bird oaten.
I es the worm, If I Wad a bird, I
11411 rat or get up late and eat cher
lies in place of worms. (Laughter.)
Farmers don't paint their waggons
when they 31313 help it, for they
shot- red tee (nick. The color of
th,:ar bawl is rod, and don't loos:
alta oilier people's boots, because
they are twiou as big. (Applause.)
Farmers' 1111V08 110110 It hard time
cooking for Lured men, and the hir-
ed am fled fault with the fanners'
wives' cooking, Why don't farm
41(308 let the hired mon do the
I o.4tikiug while t11ey do the finding
fantt. (Great applause.) Farmers
don't gel Its rich as bank presidents
but they get more exercise, (Pro
longed laughter,) Some ask, why
don't farmers run for Congress ?
They run so much keeping boys out
of their peach orchards and rn01o0
patches they don t have any,tlmo to
run after anything else. If Con
gro0s should rttu after farmers, one
might be caught now and then.
Lawyers can beat farmers at rune•
ing for most anything. I know a
farmer who tried to run a line fence
according to his ,notion. The other
man objected and hurt the farmor.
The farmer hirers a lawyer to run
his line fence, and now the lawyer
rune. the farmer's fart. and the
farmer has stopped running any
thing, Speaking of running re-
minds me of our calf that ran away
to 1.110 woods. There Were not
enough mon in the country to catch
that calf. We turned the old cow
loose into the woods anti oho caught
the calf, proving the old saying that
it takes a caw to catch a thief.
(Langhtor.)
Fa.00111s E,111'1'HQUAIXES.
The t'ullowtng to 0 list of the
principal earthquakes that have tall
en place since the twelfth century,
with the cae1a11ties
Yeal. Place.
1137—Sicily
1158 --Syria
1208—Cillcir.
1450—Napleo
1531—Lisbon
10.20—Naples
161(7—Sellmnski
1602—Jamaica
10(43—Stoily
1703—Aquila, Itltly
1706—'1'he Abruzzi 15,000
1715—Algiers 20,000
1725—Palermo 0,000
1781—Pekin 100,000
1740—Lima and Callao 18,000
1754—Grand Cairo 40.000
3755—K138han, Porsid 40,000
1755—Lisbon 50,000
1750—Styria 20,000
1781—Ezinghinn, Asia•
flleur 11,000
1707—Country between
Santa Fe, I'atname 10,000
1805—Napless 0,000
1822--Aleepo 20,000
1829—Murcia (i,000
1830—Canted 6,000
1842—Capo liaytien 4,000
1857—Calabria 10,000
1857—Q1:tie 5,000
1300-1-tendnza, South
Americ•8 7,00U
1868-eTowile in Peru and
Ecuador 25,000
1875—San J'oee de Cuomo
Columbia. 14,1)(10
1981--13cia 1,000
.188(1—Charleston 06
Persons
Kilted
15,000
29,000
60,000
40.000
30.000
70,000
80,000
3,000
100,000
5,000
1L110(1e Blur, the vocalist, is now
Mrs. Fee wick.
Pater Forbes, a hired loan in 1.110
010(411)1 of (1. 11111s of East Nissonri
undertook, the other morning about
nine o'clock, to ascertain the wel-
fare of a family of young porkers
that Lad boon concealed in a hole
finder the straw steak. Ile crawled
into the hole, but was almost im-
mediately followed by tun mother,
'1V11'0, it app01100, was s0 dissatisfied
with the intt'li8io11 that Aho showed
no inclination to allow the prisoner
to escape. To drive the enraged
animal out seemed impossible, to.
yell would be useless, to dig Was 0110
only plan. In the meantime, search
having been made for the missing
man, it was supposed that he had
I slctppad, This opinion„, however,
W118 demonstrated to be incorrect as
cipline now will do hjtn good, (Pro Peter ()merged from the tunnel he
longed laughter.)
Sod Barley 1
'1'110111EcgvAUT,14 Now Variety, see
Seed Oatnlogees for 18)47.
"Tele Longest Straw and hest Yielding
Barley 1 over Used,"
1013N 1''0153)4,
30881'11 118NN2s.
8'11Ht'b1, GO eta. r'lB( 110111$1,
815131, OATS 1'011 ,8131,13,
MAW:W N 811ITII.
N, 73.-- 1 will also dispose of one florae
five years old had one Colt three years
old. Ji. 44 11( 111.
1..*47:1:, GRIP t if l37,.
CANADA'S COMIC JOI'UNA.L,
Annonoomem I for who Year,
Grip is uOw so W0111u1own ac to require
very little of either desm'iptle,l or praise.
It litho
ONLY CARTOON P.11'Ea I)4 OANAPA,
and it is furnished at about one-half the
price of similar journals in the United
States. (trip's Cartoons, in addition to
being strictly impartial when thdy refer
to politics, arc always on the side of pat-
riotism and morality.
T110 tato improvements ars universally
admired. The journal is enlarged to 16
pages, and it is printed upon heavy toned
and well -Wondered paper. This gives
both the engraving.' and the letter -press
a beautiful appearance. And, notwith-
standing this enlargement and improve-
ment, the price of Grip is
ONLY $2 A TEAR ; 8IN01.e Corm, 11 CENTS.
(the price it commanded when but a four
page sheet.)
GRIP'S PLATFORM:
1HUSI01, WITHOUT VOLOARIIT 3 I'ATRIO1'ISM
WITHOUT Pawrrs,ANamP; TRLTim
WITIIOUT TEL1P111!.
Do not be without this favorite Canad-
ian Cartoon Paper. Its price places it
within the reach of all.
Address the GRIP PRI.11I.ro AND PUB-
LISHING 00., 26 and 28, Front Street West,
Toronto. New subscribers, sending 82,
will receive the paper the balance of 1SSG,
and to Slat December, 1887.
SPECIAL PI&E111UJ1 OFFER.
All subscribers to Grip, now or old, aro
entitled to a copy of the magnificent lith-
ograph "Conservative Leaders," or the
the companion plate "Liberal Leaders,"
shortly to bo published, on payment of 5
cents for postage.
TEE POST AND GRIP
will bo furnished to subscribers, by speo-
ial arrangement with the publisher's of
the latter journal, both papers for only
153.00.
,t'-iLEA11•ING SALE OF
'kJ
Y
—FOR -
30 DAYS 30
Christmas and Now Year's Bar
gains at the Brussels
Woolen Mill.
1 havo the finest and largest
stock of Fine Yarns over se011 in
Brussels. 1 will sail the best
worsted yearns, which have
.311441.1&.01110,011880011.110.0
NATIONAL ROLLER MILLS,
Brussels, - Ontario.
CHANGE OF PROPEIETORS
Haring leased the well known 1331(1 Hplc'ndidly 1quipped 11011(11
P'lolit'Illg 11111] from Messrs. Wm. Van'tone ,L Suns for 11 term of
years, we desire to intimate to the farmers of Huron Co, and the
public genet'ally, that We are prepared to turn out the lest brands of
Flour, look after the (lristing Trade, supply ally qu181111y of Bran.
Chopped stud', &e., and bury any quantity of 'Wheat.
'1'11e mill is recognized as one of the best in the 001111ty and Oily
long experience in t1118 business gives 1113 confidence in Hayhlg we
guarantee satisfaction.
Flour and Feed Always on Hand.
Grn(tillg and Chopping promptly attended to.
A. O.-ti.7. SOTACITR11,
Stewart ovriok,
PROPRIETORS.
HAST HU BON
Carri orks
J.A.MEs _1=3"0-3E- H l i s,
•—IIANUFaCTiailat eF—
CAIRIRIAGES, DEMOCRATS, EXPRESS WAGONS,
BUGGIES, WAGONS, ETC., ETC., ETC.
A11 made of the Best Material and finished in- a Workmanlike
manner..
Repairing Cc7Ld Pcd7Lt1.7z. p/OJn•ptt1 attended to •
Parties intending to buy should Cali before
purchasing.
•
POIFERENCEH.-111arscicu Smith, B. Laing, Jas. Cott aIl(1 Wm. Mc-
Kelvey, Grey Township ; W. Cameron. W. Little, G. Brewer and D.
Breckenridge, Monis Township ; T. Town and W. Blashill, Brus-
aels ; Rev. E. A. Fear, Woodham, ane T. Wright, Turnbel'ry.
ISE\1I"111BEPt THE STAND—SOUTH OF BRIDGE.
JAMES BUYERS.
-r ist acid Flour I .ills !
The undersigned having completed the change from the stone to the
Celebrated Hungarian system of Grinding, has now the Mill in
First Class Running Order
and will b(' glad to see all his old customers and as Many new ono:
AS possible. Chopping clone.
rim and reed Always o,.4 :.
Highest Price paid for any quantity of Good Grain.
WM. MILNE.
NO EQU L ,
:qa,
at eta. per oa, duct an 1)1111 w
(3
line quality of eashmeri wools at
13 et,. pm: ounce for the next 330
days, commencing li'ri(lay, .1)1.0,
2kth, for Cash Only.
. Now is the 1'21128
to secure your bargains, costo
early and Have your choice. in
131ack, Brown, Navy Blue, Royal
Bene, Light Blue, Garnet, Card-
inal, Claret, Scarlet, Dark Green,
Bronze, Light Green, Yellow,
Orange, and a host of other cols
01'4, toe numerous to mention.
But come and see for yourself
and be convinced that yen have
struck the I3iggest Bargains of
the season.
[340 le 0110) [101110 all,
1 had excavated to daylight at 8 pal, G EO. H O W F.