Loading...
The Brussels Post, 1886-12-3, Page 37r de- itry, otea ely, DEO. 3, 1880. `Poetry, TIII; BULLDOG, The bulldog is a savage i)oast, Ire never fluuo'i or rants, But he will leave the dailttiost feast Lo tear a lover's plums. (We trnot our hypercritic friends Will pardon no this tune, For "tremors" would lint snit aur ends, Because they would not rhyme.) And when ho gots 0 solid grip, (Wu 1110011 the perp, you know): Until those nether garments r-r•rmp, • Ino never will lot gu. 13ut sets h is teeth and growls loin growls, With malice ill•caroonled, Uluuindtttl of the lover's howls, Until tiro cloth doth yield. And thou the lover climbs the fence, And hi unload, to stop, But rapidly meanders hones Unto the tailor's shop, So out of evil good doth come, For, though the loves swears, It makes the tailor's business hunt To mond time bulldog's tears, I -IE DOESN'T WANT TIIEImI 1' W3LISIIED. He wrote lyrieal affusions, and in rhyth. nmicalluxuriance, 'he bent to every passing whine of literary prurience ; And his muse would stalk and sidlo Through epics suicidal, Tor be rode a bareback 1'ogasus without our a bit or bridle 1 )dal, He poured his soul's profusion out in,ron- ett'S, deans, odes, and sounets-upon Sera- phina's eyebrows or on Angelina's bonnets; And the wikl pontic spasm , Swept his intellectual chasm As the midnight winds of Chaos swept through primal protoplasm. And the Muse's breath from Songlaud in many a tuneful carol, blew through SO his mental vacuum as the wild blows and. through it barrel ; rAnd, like pleas before a jury, 01y Songs filled en with sound and fury flus Came forth with a vast lung power, jingle. jerk and too-roo-loo-ren And he sent these songs and poems to the publishers and editors, but they all returned uuwelcomed, like his most solicitous creditors ; And now since their deolination Haw he vows with indignation - ••I Wonit vulgarize my poems by promis- cuous publication 1" ion 1110 ut act be t 1. <. A. YOUNCI WIFE'S VIEWS. I. think my husband ought to,do Exactly as I want him to, Especially where it concerns The money that for me he earns. If he and I are one, why do • As if wo were, and Must be, two ? For if our iutssosts combine, Whate'er is his is also mine. I hate to ask him every clay • For little sums, and have him say : "My dear, where has that dollar gone I gave you only yestermorn ?" 'Tis strange indeed how, in his oyes, A 80111 will swell and swell in size When once persuaded to resign It from his pocketbook to mine. Flo lets ole run up heavy bilis At two big stores, and thus fulfils, Ile thinks, his duties unto me ; But 1 with him do not agree. I like to go from store to store (As bees the fragrant buds explore) And take from each whatever suits, In bonnet, mantle, gloves, or boots. I think a "common drawer" would prove A means to strengthen faith and love ; Or better still 'Would be were he To bring his money all to me. And safer. Then, too• he might learn Toask a little in his turn, And havo a chance as well to see IIow very generous Iwould be. BEAUTIFUL SNOW. @' Dear Mr. Editor, would you not like A. poem on the beautiful snow, • Whioh down from the sky has fallen, And covered the earth below. re • I hear that tho great prophet Wiggins Has promised ns three foot more ; , Oh, I wish for that very rash. promise, Tho snow it would e0vot' 111121 o'er. • It is all very well for the poets To sing of the "beautiful snow," :But, if they hod to leave thou bads early Arid out in the wood -shod go, And these find that during the nighttime 7'ho beautiful snow had been in, And had laid away on your wood.pilo A garment so light but tot thin. If I fear they worth' and that the lovely, Tho pure and the peaceable snow, Would rouse their angry passions As muoh as a hearty blow. ,,And if in the morning sarly To work they did wend their way, ,And suddenly felt as if all the earth Underneath them had gone to decay- Ilo you think they would bless the gentle, • Would sing the praise of that snow • Which had covered that hole in the night- • time, And now had brought them low 1 I think as they rose from that hollow, And gathered their tools together, They would wonder what they ever ems' That was nioo in wintry woatbor, SAX. JONES' SAYINGS- ' One of •the Professors in Harvard CJniversity Was a great bugologist; THE BRUSSELS POST w r He had all sorts of huge the world couch on which I recline. In on pRINSE ,S over saw in frames and he etndled 111011111, the I;eutlo111nn Whips 001 a 9J bugology until he knew all about it, small gun, tolls n10 to move at my j and hadlhonsauds of specimens of yard, and with his t,oekete full of " p,; oolen 1 f different sorts of bugs, and tho wife stuff that I have toiled hard for wo ..L chiovious students kook the logs off years to accomplish, he slowly several bugs and pout thelli to ono egresses. I realize that my wifu body, joist )1110 naLu1'0 puts thee. to- would nut boa competent witness 1 r~elher, and wtrriod rho bng in to lbs on ley behalf, and 1 have foilwl to old Prufosaor with his thick glasses provide other W1tneamisl )1 Illy ,l plll't• nn, and laid it on rho table and said : memo. Yon know a luau cannot "P,'ofeeoor, what Hurt of a buy is think el everything, lo fact, thous,. that ?" 'hole Professor laul,ell at 11, ends of men retira every night with and lurnod it around e.'ul looked at 1d)solnloly n0 0r10 a5 lvitues5 or to it, and said he, gontlelnen, tibia is protect them bat their wives, for. at humbng. And this is jt.,t what getting foal los a prot'•ctor n wife is wo mean by a religious humbug, Minos 1 worthless, and as it winless Ho has got the head of a christian olio is even more so. and rho feet of a dauber, and the So 1 havo written out uud had tongue of a tattler, and the appetite printed a large millibar of Hanks, ry of a drunkard, and the laziness of It 00 which appear the following goes- I , or rA s ad shirk, and you ju1:1 pub him all tions with setten0 for answers. You together and lio is tlio finest 'aaka top in the dead hours of night I specimen of hanibug you over saw. to find a party in 1110 room engaged • ban,. Jones hits tbo "Bk'ltt Nail in felony industry, You ask 111m I have in stock a good assort - on the 11.c/u1" in the following: to bo seated, acid taking from your "After 3';u got angry and malco lop writing desk the blanks alluded to, Flannels fine and coarse, Full your mind to '•atop" your vapor to you profound the following connn' i Cloth, Fine Tweeds, Coarse amod the editor feel humiliated, just drums to flim, filling in the answers . Tweeds, Yarns, tie. Allso an s- poke your finger in water and thens loo os thein Sol'btnenr of Cotton goods. pull it out and look for the hole. 1. What is your name ? Then yon will know how sadly yon 2. Where du you reside 1 are missed, The man who thinks 13. What is your ago 1 e paper cannot survive without his 4. Your weight ? 111111 now prepaved to take in support. ought to go of and stay 5. Aro you married or eiuglo ; and atwhilo. Whan be comes back ho 1180, would your family be left dos. willfind ant that half his friends brute in corse I shoot you 1n self de - didn't know he was gone. And fence ? tbo other half didn't care a cent, and the world at large hadn't kept any acoouut of his movements whatover. You will find things you cannot endorse in every paper. lily/11 the Bible is rather plain and makes some bad licks, If you got mad and burn your Bible, tho huudrode of presses would still go on printing them ; and if you stop your paper and call rho editor all sorts of tr;ly names, the ;)apor will still bo published. And what is more you'll snook around and borrow a copy of it from your neighbor every wook. It would be much better to !loop your vest pulled clown and your subscription paid a year in advance. Sam. Jones says it takes more money to paint 0 nose red than it ANY QQUAN'l'ITY OP "ittrotoi `°anted If fast Market Price went of Blankets, Shirtings, 0. Do you die easy or do you gen- orally cling to lifo ? '7. Are you 0 natllriti born Ottizen •le , , •• J q j +,..yL q q of mho United States or aro yOt1 lin 66s'Cd,Sr Yd otsS alien ? 8. If au alien, please state whoth• or it is a family characteristic 1 9. Do you nes tobacco ? 10. Please state what disposition you would liko to lntvo mads of r your remains in easo you should be .Knitted Goods shot in self defence ? 11. Do you drink 1 12. If so, why will you persist in blade to Order. so doing ? 18. What do you generally take ? (Intormisslnn,) I: * 1 M 14. Do you contemplate the com- mission of a felony ? 15. If so, scam what is your fav - docs to pilot the Capitol at Wash- orite style of felony and your rea• ington with the best white lead in sons for dabbling in felony ? the world. He spent $10,000 in bug juice to put on his nose, and I only got it to a pale pink at last. Carding, Spinning, Weaving, ac.c. BILL NYE Ox ant 0.100E OF nocuinmN•iAEY PROOF OF SELF DEFENCE. Probably no legal phrase •iu com- mon use is so little understood, and through this ignorance so fruitful of the long, tedious and expeneivs lit• igation which it is said to be Pie ob• jest of law to prevent, its the two `harmless loolcing words of "self de- fence." In law the term embraoes and describes "all rho rights con• furred upon the individual to protect by his own acts and agencies his property or his person against some injury unlawfully attempted to be inflicted by auoth r," This defini- tion should be oommitted to mem- ory by every school boy in the land. Ho will then have laid the found- ation for a knowledge of the law of self dofense which. tuay bo of great value to Yum in lifter life. 13ut the chief difficulty in setting up and proving sslf•defones in a court is two fold. First -We must bo thoroughly convinced that a great iujury to por- ison or property is contemplated. Second -We must be able to es• tablish by proof that such injury to person or property was so contem- plated by the assailant at the time of the self defence alleged. In other words, the identity of tho assailant and his sincere desire to do us great injury, either to psrsou or property, must be proved beyond the possibility of a reasonable doubt in tho minds of a highly intelligent jury. This is not 60 easy a5 at first appears. Wo must establish by some proof that is free from bias or prejudice that the defendant was just in the a o ' atofi br m gin his hands s in our gore or 'about tocommita felony when we smote him, as set up in our defence. Therefore the testimony of members of the family would have little weight with an average jury. For these reasons, which I trust I have made quite clear, it has 00• currod to me that documentary evi- dence would bo the beet. Suppos- ing that I awake in tho night from a sound and inn000nt elumber to find the bull's oyo of a total stranger shining in my eyes. I boo that he is ransacking the po01iet5 of my pantaloons. I start suddenly as 11 wave of horror passes the entero length of the spinal column. The frenzied start squeaks the costly framework of tho richly carved 16. Is this the first time yon have over taken part in Justifiable Komi• aide ? 17, If not, please state fully where, when, and under what cir- cumstances you took such a part, and whether or not you 01 that time tools the offensive or defensive ? 18. Do you smoke' cigarettes ? 19. Please breathe hard 0n the breast tester, not necessarily for pnblication, but for future analysis. 20. Have you ever been insane ? 21. Aro you insano now ? 22. Do you ever have microbes on your brain ? 23. If so, du you think that they tend to dstsriorats the brain tissue, cr do you think that they improve 1t in your case ? 24. Have you any other clothes that you would prefer to be laid out in, aside from those you now wear ? 25. When did you first begin to toil np toward the pinnacle of fel. ony- ? 26. ,What amount of money .would you be willing to take iu order to forego and, as .t wore, omit this par- ticultir felony ? 27. Would mining stook or nine. ty-cosy paper be taken in such a deal ? 98. If unsatisfactory answers are maids to both the above interrog- ations, will you please 5tato fully what medical college yon would pre• for to endow with yourself ? 2D. Is the idea of a personal devil repulsive to you. 80. Would you please protrude your tongue as far as possible, and !.old ibthero until a physician can be summoned ? 81. Aro you an offousivo parti- san ? (Sign hero) Signed in the presence of,........., Tho witnesses const be wholly dis- interested parties, and in ease eitli. er should be unable to sign his or her nems two witnesses to the male. ing of the mark must be present and sign. .By using these blanks and using them intelligently I believe that much tedious and exasperating litig- ation might be avoided, and that a great deal of brain fag, which is be- coming so alarmingly prevalent among jurors, will be. prevented. Should these linos bo productive of such results, though it be in a Blight dogrel) only, 1 shall be proud and happy. Thomas Coates shipped forty Lead of cattle from Exotsr one day this week for rho lriverpaottrittrkots, Give Me a Call before taking your wool 'else- where. Yours Truly, GEO. i -OWE. krr Rum SCALES. BUILBERS' !ARB EiRU ! Glan & Putty, Lath SG Skin, les STOVES --.IND--- Stove Pipes. TAMED FELTING, ilLABASTINE Pt4 T, Mixed Paiute ! ALL COLORS. T.a. & B GERRY era Fifa, P/Dren d FP0 any other with similarity in name is only got up to doceivc too public. Stass1111.f -_ 3 tyri ill a t 13 c'n ,Sr; lL NI a 11 0-5 1) 1 try ocoowe, lnori -Esc ore dtot; Num 'suoi t'}iva o asivAnas m °•" fcsm„' _ 361, n bd 1,pp •.a 7 r!, toll !•, j';' to = Prr 14-1= Grist and Flour Mills ! The undersigned having completed the change from- the stone to the Celebrated Hungarian system of Grinding, has now the Mill in First Class Running Order and will' be glad to see all his old customers and as many new ones as possible. Chopping done, . 1rn0u and Feed £Manse on liana.. Highest Price paid. for any quantity gV V 1 .Loff 7Good Grain. EAST HU RON tt, t, •rl.. m cjra;ge JAJVE Has 18 IIYE E s, -MAN•UTACTuREIt 0T- CARRIAGES, lAq75 DE S EXPRESS VAGo s , , BUGGIES, VAt}OZrS, ETO., BTC,, ETC. All made of the Best 1V.Iatorial and finished in a Workmanlike 010000r. Repcairirte and .Painting proinoptty attended td)• Parties intending to buy should OaII before purchasing. Bni,nitn sons. -Marsden Smith, B. Laing, 3'as. Cott and Wm. Mc- Kelvoy, Grey Township ; W. Camoron, W. Little, G. Browal' and 17. Brookonridge, Morris Township ; T. Town and W. Blashill, Bros- ,sols ; Eov.11. A. Foar, Woodham, ands T. Wright, Tnrnborry. REMEMBER THE STAND -SOUTH O1+ BRIDGE. (TAMES BUYERS.