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The Brussels Post, 1889-3-8, Page 22 THE BRUSSELS POST. Luton 8, 1880, reta^ahbtfYti=.-.. '°.:.tineill'!.tiMi"dt....—. atiltCgiaananneet xlle x03 nediet aa"14435tedniieedW R7gXa�T,$W.. 45ear-%0: r eatateee INj� Nun I pj throe years when I took oharge. She claim• STRUGGLE WITH A MADMAN, y 1 A. �OJ1ll N s PRISON, ed to be rho vleb1m of a conopira b 6 o6lf the seemed content to bide her time, Tire Terrible Ex 'Inhumes or the 'Brothers Strange Bxperienees Related ' _ ., ,r,•__ which hitt been smashed r_-refraotory I and nether or Fr auk Beret. den, room was now used tie a vetch -all for the ing with his family, in West Twentieth laundry wee a large, badlylighted room• bub wbioh had never been finished up. TheIrrank Berg, a young Gorman, aged 23,1iv. I wag for eeveraf years assistant warden in a state prison where only male oouviote were oonfined, and I left that to become warden of a primal where over 300 females were under look and key the year rotted. If forced to °hoose I would prefer to have oharge of 00G melee rather than 100 females. Moss moa enter prioor, feeling that they have deserved their puniahmenb and autrioue to make all the good timo possible. No woman admits her guilt, and by the time she reaches prison she has convinced herself that she ie a martyr. One not familiar with the workings of a female prison eau have no ,dee of bho trouble and annoyance an °ba sin - ate Inmate can cause. A male oonviob who tie obstinate, malicious, and nenb on causing trouble can be punished and foroed to give in, but you wen only go so far id inflicting puniahmenb on a woman, and the limit measly compels obedience bo routine or• dere. patients was a woman One myfirst ab w of$ P named Mary Noonan. She was on a life sentence for the murder of her husband, and had been in the prices five years. A change of wardens always renews the hopes of those looking for a pardon, end It always cause's a change in the oonduob of oortam prisoners. I had nob been in the new place a fortnight when I discovered that all the oouviote except one were perfeotly innocent of orime and bad been sent up through mistake or malice. Tho exoopbton was a youngish wo- man named Haskins, who had poieoned the man who betrayed her and was making ready to desert her. She nob only 'Mum - ledged the crime, but fah bhab she had only done her duby in revenging herself, The innocents were all agog for some change to benefio them, while at least a hundred ex• peoted me to recommend them for pardon. Mre. Noonan sought an interview with mo for bhe purpose of stating that she had die - covered new evidence bearing on her ease : evidence which would oonolueively prove her own innocence. She had, in a fit of an ere as the records of the oaee showed, stabbed her husband with a butcher knife ab noontime and before her four children. It waa the clearest Daae in the world, but elle contended thab a great wrong had been done her, and that the real murderer had escaped. The new evidence had Dome to her in a dream. She had dreamed that a clerk in a certain grocery near her home had stabbed Noonan before he entered the house, and that the guilty man was now anxious to con - fees the feat and obtain her release.' The idea was so absurd and silly that I oould not promise her anything, and from that hour she determined to make me all the trouble possible. She first refused to work. I gave her a day In which to think it over, and as she remained obdurate she was looked up in a dark oell with only bread and water. Oa the fourth day word was broughb me that Mrs. Noonan was dead. I went with the prison doctor to the Dell, and we found the Body growing rigid and cold. Both ot us had seen many oases of shamming, and, while oonvinced that this was another, the counterfeit was startling. The jaw dropped, the half•ahut eyes had the glaze of death, and the flesh assumed that pallor whioh only death San bring. And yet we both felt that the woman was alive. Indeed, there was a flutter of the pulse and the hearb to prove gib. It was a case of animation sus- pended by will power. Perhaps nob more than one person in ten thousand is able to control mind and muscle in this manner. It is, for a time, next door to actual death. Ib does not require nerve, as I understand it, but simply the power to oollapee, as ib were, Prioonere who have thus shammed on me, have explained afterward that they heard every word spoken around them, though no voice founded natural. They did nob re- alise any feeling exoept that of extreme lightness, as if all solidity had gone out of the body. It required no particular effort to hold the breatth or keep the limbs rigid. I ordered the body to be prepared and placed in a coffin and the coffin planed in a shed next to the laundry, 1 supposed this was what Mary wanted and had planned for. All the other prieonere believed her dead, and she had two or three particular Mende who wept over her Ioes. The coffin was placed in the shed about sundown, and two men set to watoh it. At midnight Mary rose up, climbed out, and was work- ing to loosen a board when accosted by the watchers. She returned to her work next morning an neuai, and refused to answer any questions or make any explanations. About once a week for the next five years she had some now eoheme to annoy me, and I was aver wondering what she would do next. Ib is seldom that one hears of a woman es- caping from a prison. This is not for the reason that they do not long for liberty, nor that some of them are nob desperate enough at times to take any risk. One of the most deceptive of the inmates of the prison was a little woman of 30, all smiles and sunshine, who had been sent up for a number of yeare for committing a robbery. She was good- looking, well educated, and evidently of good birth. Every word and movement was ladylike, and during the six montes she had served before I took charge she had quite won the matron's hearb. She was placed in oharge of twelve sewing women in a room on the second floor, fronting a aide street. These women made the olothing of bhe inmates, This sewing room was lighted by two windows, defended by bars, of course, Off this room was a atook or store room, and Mrs. Newman, as the little woman was called, had 'the key to this and was in charge. There was bat one window in bhie room. Mrs. Newman was the last person I should have pioked oub as a plotter. Indeed, 1 should nob have expected her to go out had the doors been left open. One midafternoon ib was reported that the little lady was missing, and fifteen minutes later I had disoovered that she had gone by the window. Where she got a file I never could learn, but gibe procured one somehow. and filed off throe bare, She was engaged at thio work for throe months• When ehe got ready t0 go she made a stout rope of cloth, fastened one end to a remaining bar, and then slid down to the earth in safety, She had noretly made hereelf a cap and a cloak, and she walked off two blocks, board- ed a otreab oar, and was soon out of the neighborhood. A trifling oircomstanoe led to bet capture then same night. If she bad planned to meet friends, they had not come on. She had no money, and though the oonduotor did not put her off on this account, she wee flurried by the situation. She gob off at a street running out into the country, and walked brlekly away, I happened to tako thio same oar We home later, and over- heard the conductor relating the circum, stance. I caught ab the idea that it wee Aird, 'Newman, and at 10 o'clock that night I found her in a farm house ten miles away. She laughed merrily, and hoped I would hear her no Ill will. The asoiotenb forewoman in the laundry wan a Mrs Williams, who had been eenteneed e to moven years' imprisonment for maiming a ohldwshe had adopted, Sheyhadabeenin laundry. There wore eleven women In the Street, Chicago, bee for eevoral years boon leundry, and is doing what she did Mrs, ooneidorod mildly leeano, Two years ago Williams had to blind them all. Ono end he woe soot to the asylum at Jefferson, but of this room was toward the side street, and' was released in a few months and returned the wall was three feet deep, and sunk six. home. Ho never exhibited any rhea of vio• or seven feet into the ground. The floor lance until last night aboub 10 o'oloolr, when, was of marine. A month before I camel Witltoub warning, he etruok hie mother and the forewoman was taken eiok and Mru,, commenced to abuse her in bbe vilest manner. Williams was promoted to her plane, She 1 His brothere epoke to him sharply, but this could now page anywhere about the laundry; only infuriated him, and seizing a chair, he unquestioned, and oho Ito ono° began work.' mated at hie mother with the evidenb listen. I ing on a plan to escape, Her tools were an tion of braining her. old hatchet and a smell fire shovel, and she The two brothers seized him and succeeded began digging from the room described to, in forcing him into the hitches, where a ter• undermine the wall. She wee never absent, rible struggle took place. The intention of from the laundry over a quarter ot an hour, tiro brothers was to throw the lunatic to the at a time, and could not work ab her digging; floor and tie him hand and feet. With the over two hours per day. The other women Dunning of a madman he divined their object': SAW her go and comp, but 10 was not their I and used every portable object in the room to defend himself. Time and again ha hurled hie brothers to the floor, biting, scratching and kinking atlthem whatever they Dame within reaoh. In the souffle the madman's olothee were almoeb torn from hie body, hie arms being bared to the shoulders. In some way his bare arm came in contact with the kitchen stove, which was still hot. Tho hob iron burned bho madman's flesh and so infuri- ated him that he turned hie wrath from his brothers to the stove. He rushed at it and declared he would throw it into bbe street, The lunatio endeavored to pick the stove up in hie arms, bub the hot iron burned his flesh in half a dozen planes. With a roar of pain he loosened his hold and pub forth every effort to upset bhe stove. bearing shat he would suoceed and set the house on fire the brothers again interfered. After a long struggle in which the lunatic battered and bruiesd hie faoe and eyes in a terrible manner, he eves finally thrown to bhe floor in an exhausted oondibion and tied hand and foot. Although only partially °enecioue the madman struggled hard to break his bond's, and the family concluded that the only thing to be done was to oall in the police. A patrol wagon was summoned, As Boon ae the mania° BEM the officers he became wild again and fought as well as he could against being removed. Fit teen min. rites were spent trying to get him out and; the offioere were finally compelled to roll him in a heavy blanket and strap him up. He was taken to the Detention Hospital for the Insane. The physicians there report his condition serious. The room where the struggle took place ab the Berg's residence presented a terrible appearance. Nearly every piece of furniture in the room is broken and blood is smeared over everything, The two brothers were severely bruised. Rosiness to enquire Into her movements. In aboub seventy days Mra. Williams had gone down under the wall and wee ready to break the eateneatenof the ground on the other aide, he would not riska li hb as the Sd , Y 6 other had done, bub waited nearly a weak until some extra wash gave her an exouse to remain in the laundry an hour later than usual. She had been gone half an hour be. fore she was missed, and ib was a full hour before the means of exit was discovered. The dirt had been carried to the rear end of the room and flung behind some old tube and mangles, and she had done her work as well ae the oraftieatman. She bad likewise got hold of breed and meat, and when she gob into the street she only wont two squares before hiding herself in a horse barn. The owner had no horse, and as it was summer time the woman could not puffer lying on the hay up stairs. There was water below, and she economized her food to make it last as long as possible, Im- mediately that her escape was eiaoovered, I used every exertion to secure her recapture, having depots watohed and the country scoured in every direction. A week past and I could nob obtain the olightesb olue. Then Dao night abarn on the alley opposite the one she was hidden in was set on fire, and before the engines got to work the roof of the other was ablate. I happened to be early on the spot, and what was my tie• toniehment when Mre. Williams quietly opened the door and .e alked plump into my arms. She shed tears of vexation when re- turned to her old quarters, having made up her mind thab her escape was assured. Another of the inmates who pulled the wool over my eyes for the moment was a Mies Hutchins who was serving a sentence for pocket picking: I give you her prison name but it was said that she was the wife of a notorious thief and bank sneak. He had exauoted the law in hie endeavors to get her clear, and bad made hie boasts thab she should not serve her time out. When I took oharge I was warned to be on the alert, and I kept my eyes open a0 far ate possible. Mise Hutchins and two others were employed in making fanny baskets, which were sold to procure books and papers for the prisoners. They had a small room off the hall leading from the corridor to the laundry, and were conatant - Stanley's Method. I remember Stanley once saying to me, jest as I was starting to ascend the Congo: ' Pat a native, slap him if you will with the open hand, but never strike him with the closed fist, and never shoot until yon are first attacked and escape eeeme hopeless." This was meant—and I, too, quote it—as both literal and figurative advice, The "patting policy" is the only one thaboarries ly under some one'a eyes, I had been in an explorer safely through Negro Africa, in bhe plane about three months when two' and it is the one that men like Livingston, young women called as visitors. Io so bap• I Spoke, Grant, Kirk, Thomson, De Bram, paned bhab the mabron was busy, and I Enda, Sohweiafurth, Lonsdale, Coquilhat, volunteered to escort them about until she and Vangele have pursued wibh such sum should be at leisure. We went to the Dass ; whereas what I would term the "fiat bakery, kitchen, laundry, and other places, fashion"—the impatient recourse to brute and would have pinged by the basket force—has often led to grievous disasters, room had they nob partioulary requested aud has hover resulted in much inoreaee of to enter it. Not a alga of recognition knowledge or gain to civilization. It is the passed between the visitor and any of the application of the old fable, " The wind, the three workers, A few questions wore sun, and the traveler, or persuasion is better asked, some of the finished work admired, than force." whioh is so often needed se an and we passed out. Ae the door closed explanation of African success and failures. behind tor one of the visitors exclaimed: A savage ie much like a eat. Onoe geb your "Dear me, but I have lost my glover,. I hand—your open hand, your palm, not most have left them on the table in the lean- your fist—in onntact with his body, gently dr ." and in friendship, and it is ram that he does 1, of course, volunteered to go after them, not yield oympathetioally, If he waxes and I found them on the table. I did not friendly you may pat hie broad back approo. stop to speak with any one, and was not ingly, if lie is saucy you may vent your an. absent over seventy or eighty monde. The owner of the gloves thanked me, complained of a sudden headache, and remarked that they would trouble me no further. I passed them through two wiakote and the main hall and oub of the front door, and had jueb gut deeate in the °Moe to write a letter when a messenger from the matron said I was want- ed at once. When I reached her she stood beside a sharp, good•looking young woman, who was in diahaoine, and a etrauger. She had been discovered in one of the °elle almost by accident.. What does this mean P" leaked, failing to connect her presence wibh an absence. "I do not know 1" she replied, wringing her bands and looking in a helpleea way. " Oh, air, where am I, and won't you bake me home f" I own up that she befooled me neatly, and delayed me a quarter of an hour. It was a pat -up job. The two girls had 'tome in to do just what they did do. When I started for the }loves Mies Hutchins came into the hall. In the minute and a half she was clothed at the expense of one of the visitors, and the latter found refuge in an open oell. A carriage stood in front of the prison to carry them away, and they had a long start. There were two crooks in the job, and the party felt so elated over bamboozling mo that they gob drunk as they pushed along the highway for a town twenty miles off. Fifteen mike away the earring? was upset and broken, Mise Hutehiae injured, and the other three arrested for brawling. Suspicion was axone. ed, and I was telegraphed to, and inside of twenty. four hours Plied my prisoner bank, Later on those who had helped her escape bad to serve out sentences for six months, and the crooks were wanted for a job whioh gays them five years apiece, Great Strike in Gas, CotsoNowoon, Feb. 28.—Sunday morning while pumping water for a baptiem in the Bapbiat church in this town, the top of the pump (which is situated inside the building) was blown off by natural gas. The windows and door's were immediately thrown open and duo precautions were taken to prevent the gas taking fire. No damage was done to the edifice, bun the congregation was greatly alarmed, The gas is atilt rushing from the wall with great foroe, bat from the uncertain Me of the pipe it is almost impossible to estimate the quantity that is escaping. Ex• citemenb prevails in town, and .great things are expected from thie find, Miss Amelia Wadsworth, of Springfield, having publicly lectured on marriage aa a failure, a newspaper man went to work and proved that she had been engaged and jilted three different Orme. A silver pocket flask that excites attention ie delicately embossed with memo of twin• ing foliage and decorations, A bib pin thab claims re00pnition is decor. ated as the lower part of the frock, front beneath which are eeon the togs of two tiny fest, noyance in a smart slap, but beware of the kink and rho knook-down blow. They effectually preolude reconciliation. Chaff the savage, poke him in the ribs, pull his oar, make him grin, and urge the grin on into a laugh, and he ie yours, and the mon- tagion of good humor spreads among hes hesitating fellows, You need not go in for buffooneries or lower that dignity which should always attend the white man, bub you will find a little playfulness, a little human sympathy and kindness in no way prejudice the respect that the poor savage innately feels for she—to him—godlike white man, In penetrating and over -running these unoivilized Iande European travelers should remember that they belong to the native inhabitants, nob bo the civilized die- ooverer—it is their oonnbry, not ours—and this ie too easily forgotten.—[The Fortnight- ly Review. Well -Dressed Missouri, A Washington deopatoh to the Now York World says : —The recent appoiotmenb of a Mr. Overall as a member of the Police Board in St. Louis suggested to Mr. Springer to. day how very sartorial a State Missouri is. -Vest and Sohurz are two of its leading orna- ments. The State Legislature has a Dresser, a Beaver, two Drapers, and several Taylors. It has its Coats, and its Stocking too, and and now that an Overall hes been produced, all the public life of Missouri seems to requite are tremors and an umbrella, Five Weeks Beneath an Avalanohe. A remarkable inotanoe of three poreono surviving an imprisonment of live weeks under an avalanche is recorded in "Narra. heves of Peril and Suffering," In the valley of the Upper Stunt et the foot of Otto Alps, le the little hamlet of Bergolebto. In the winter of 1755 the falls of snow were anoom• mealy heavy, Ou the Nineteenth of March the parish priest, who wits on hie way to the Mheard a noise from bite mountains, and, canting up hie eyes, he saw two aval. anohoe amending towards the village. He gave the alarm to some villagers, and then retreated into hie own house, The avalaaoheo Dame and buried over thirty houses, and twenty-bwo portions were found to be missing, among them the est parish priwho had given the alarm. The amouub of mow which lay over the ruined dwellings was about forty-two Mob deep, bwo hundred and seventy feet long, and sixty feet wide. When the surviving peasants had shaken off the terror mud depression which ouch au event must nooessarily acute, they ea about trying to save any lifo or property possible, More than three hundred peasants from neighboring villages came to their aas'wt ansa Bun they could do little; the thickness of the snow mass waso s great, and the snow aonbinued to full front the clouds in ouch amount that they were obliged to Maw Ulnae their fruibleee exertions, end wail till the eating in of the warm April winds which would partly melt the gigentio piles. On the Eighteenth of April the villagers returned to their melancholy task, Ib wee with no hope of finding any human being alive. One of them named Simon, whose whole fancily was beneath the avalanche, was moat aobive in the search. By the Twenty-fourth of April he nod advanced so far, thab, after breaking through six feet of ice he could touch the ground with a long pole. Three friends worked with him. Tho four worked vigorously, and made their way, at length, into R000ia'e house, but no one, dead or living, was there, As it was probable that, ab the fatal momeub, the victims had Bought shelter in the stable which was about a hundred feet from the house, Roadie and his oomponione directed their efforts in that quarter. After they bad burrowed for some time, one of them thrush a pole through an opera tura, and, on withdrawing ib, Beard a hoarse, faint voice say ; "Help, oh dear husband I Help, dear bro- buor 1 We are alive." They now worked wibh redoubled activity, and soon made a considerable opening. And there, under the mow, Rocoia to his joy found his wife, daughter, and a sister•in- law. The three sugerers were iaoapable of mot, ing, and were shrunken almost to skeletons. They were oarefully removed from their plate of imprisonment and conveyed to the house of a friend, and proper meaouree adopt. ed for their restoration. In a few days they were fairly recovered. Theft• lives were preserved during bhese long five weeks, in the following maturer : They had taken rotuge in the rank and manger, which being strong, had withetood the strain, though the roof fell. Fortunate lI two goats wore near them, which supplied them with goat's milk in quantity sufficient to sustain life. To feed the goats woe of prime importance. Immediately over the manger was a hole into the hay lof b, through this hole ono of the women was able to pull down fodder into the rack, and when she could no longer reaoh it, the sagacious animals climbed upon her shoulders, and helped themselves, Through the whole of their imprisonmeab they were in total darknesdl After the first five or six days they suffered little from hunger, though a quarb of goat's milk had to sulfa for the three. They suffered far more from the excessive coldness of the melt ed snow water that trickled over them. The Secret of Broiling. We are told that beefsteak for broiling should be cub three-quarters of an inch think and pub over a hot fire of coal or oharooal, Qaite right; but when it has browned quick- ly, as it should, and been turned and browned on the obher side, it yeb romaine raw in the middle, and if left longer the surface burns. This is the experience of the novice, who hoe yet to learn two things; Caret, that imme- diately after the first browning the fire must deoreaee in heat, or the meati be broughb further away so that the steak may cook ten or twelve minutes without burning—leas time will not cook it nicely in the middle; and second, that, like baked meat, the sur- face must be kept moist with hob fat. Be- fore your steak is put over Dover bobh aides with melted duet, and afterward as ib dries spread on a little butter or beef fat. Have ready in a hob platter a few spoonfuls of water, in wbioh the bones oub from the steak have been boiling, also salt and pepper. When the steak is done lay it in the platter and keep It hot for five minutes, turning it once iu the time. Than you will have both good steak and good gravy. A young person named Irving Latimer, in gaol at Jaokeon, Mioh., is receiving largo quantities of flowers and good things to eat from kiud•heartod ladies of that plane. He io accused of murdering hia mother for bar money. Should he prove to be innocent he will no doubt feel bound to return gifts which were made under a misapprehension of the feats. The good ladies would even then be shocked to learn that the jellies they had prepared for an interesting mur- derer had been eaten by an innocent im- postor. tfir r phr t hea tamtmsmt� aumuwttamr, y TELE LADY AND THE PANTHER, liYendorfld courage lihown by a "00 oasap Endes lrelerate CtrennOotareeee, Mts. II --,wife of a Bombay odtcial, tends us the following amens 0f a rooepb adventure; I was viaibiag some friends ab Mathoran, a delightful hill resort, wbioh affords au agreeable relief during the bot season to a large number of jaded ilambuy ofifuiale. On my arrival at Sada Viatu, I found tttah tame other of S --'s friends had ueexpoobcdly asked to bo pub up, and worn indeed ooen- pyiug the spare room of the bungalow. I therefore Waisted that no °hang° should be made in the family arrungemonto on my 00. counts. At tray earnest ooliaitatlon I was al. lowed to bavo my way and tako,up my gear. tore In a 000l, fovfcmg tent emoted about thirty yards from the house, and which I found mine host was using as astudy. The removal of hie books was the work of a few minutes, and these worn quickly replaced by the neoeasary furniture of a bedroom. I soon found everything arranged to my mind, and f congratulated myself upon staving secured the 000leet and moat delightful sleep. Mg apartment in the plane, The look. oub from the0 do r was one of exec tional beauty.Tb p Tho moon shoe ° n oub clear and sofb over the whole landscape before mo. Having done a greab deal bhab day, I was very weary and tired, so I soon prepared for bed. My little fox terrier Fidget, my only companion, took up her usual place at the foot of my bed, I orepb under the mosquito curtains and Boon Bunk into a sound sheep. In about an hour I was awakened by the growling and barking of Fi'igob, and by the light of the moan I caught sight eta huge panbher °tending in the doorway of my tent. Its oyes were flesh- ing fire, and it was lashing its long tail fur - Maly to and fro, as If it really meanb mis• thief. In a moment more it seemed on the point of making a spring at me, and I could no longer doubt than ib woo bent on making a meal on my dog or myself. I in no way, however, lab my proaenoe of mind, he I oommenoed shouting with all my mighb, which caused the boast to beat a retreat. He walked slowly towards the open door, by which ho had entered, bub only to walk round the outside of the tent and enter by another opening, which brought him Boma• what nearer to the bed. I stretched out my hand and clutched at my candles and matches and quickly struck a light. Thio, together with my shouting and the dog's barking, startled the animal, and he again disappear. ed. I was not certain that he would etaod such trifling any longer, 0o I made a dash for my dressing -gown, slipped into my slippers, tucked my dog under my arm and ran for my life. Unfortunately, 1 could nob tell where the animal was, and the dark shrubbery wibh breed overhead looked jab the place for him to be hiding ; but I bad to take my chance, and I ran as if fifty bulls were behind me, leaving my slippers on the path, and tumbling up the stops, I fell into the verandah panting. I malted to the door, which was looked from the rest of the house, and knocking loudly called oub "Mr. S—, there is a panbher in my tent." You can imagine the commotion ; everyone was about in a few seconds ; the gentlemen all seized tbeir guns and ran out to see if there was any chance of a ehot, and I was made a great fuss of; everyone said what a wonderful esoape I had had. They saw no more of the panther, bub the next morning we heard thab he made for the house of an- other friend soma diebanoe off, and there ho attempted to carry off a big English ball - dog, whioh he found asleep in the inner vor- randah, Fortunately the cries of the dog brought the servants to the rescue, bub not before its tbroah and faoe had been fright- fullymauled. My friends are all of the opinion that the mosquito curtains saved my lite. Tho beast was evidentally very hungry and was at one monteub preparing to spring upon us, bub bo was puzzled by my surroundings and probably took them for Boma kind of trap, But 1 never for a moment lost my presence of mind ; Male and the watohfulneae of my little dog on. abled me to boat a safe retreat and escape the jaws of my midnight visitor.—(The Lon- don Queen. The Two Parrots. An old retired major and an old maid lived in adjoining houses, and each of them had a parrot. The old lady was very religi• oda, and had only taught her parrot scrip- tural phrases, whilab the majora bird, hav- ing aging been broughb up in the barracks, had heard the use of bad language. The lady gave a party, and invited the major to attend and bring hes parrot. He did so, and on carrying the bird into the room et looked around and called out]: " I wish that blanked old woman nexb door was dead ;" and the old lady's parrot at once chimed in with : " We beseech thee bo hear us, dear brethren," Boulanger's Mistake. The other night Gen, Boulanger mortally offended the beautiful Mme. de Tredern by asking her to sing Paulus's gong, " En Revenant de la Revue," or, as we call it, "Boulanger Maroh"—a request about equiva- lent to asking Adelina Pabbi to sing " Oham• pagne Charley," or a fragment out of that very scandalous operetta, " Le Honour d'Ulyeee," whioh Mlle. MilyMoyer is likely to moko a 0uooess at the Bouffes•Parioion.— [London World. Two Much For the Lawyer. A lawyer, who had been baffled by a fem. inine witness whom he was 0ros0-examining, ab last said, with an air of mystery : " Now, madam, having got to the street in whioh you reside, will you please answer frankly whioh aide of bhe otreeb you live on?" On either side," quietly answered the 'althea'. "How oan that bet" thundered bhe mats - iterated lawyer. " Why, if you're going op the street, I live on the right side ; but if you are going down, I live on the left' side." General laughter, and the lawyer gave it up. Good Cause for Hatred. Jabaon—" Hang portioree, I say P" Dob• oon—" Correct. They generally are hung. I Bub why do you dislike them?" Jobson-- " Well, a few yeare ago, when a man was angry, he oould bang the doors and so re- lieve his feelings. Now, well, you can't bang a portiere. There seems to be really nothing left to do but keep a cat and tramp on lbs" Mrs. Winks Mollified, Mre. Winks (enraged)—" How la this 7 Mre. Stuoltup's letter of reference maid you were a good cook, and yet you have utterly spoiled the first meal attempted." New Geri—" May be Mrs. Stuokup don't know nothing about cooking." Mre. Winks (mol- lified)—" Probably that is the ease. Well, 1'11 teach you myself," Dooplte the fact that women lame, wear thin mimes and ex ase their health in a dozen other ways, the average of lougeeiby of the female sex fa increasing. It ie doubt., loos duo to their obatfnacy, ONBR_ENCL A Poklp weekly newspaper has just^jfp. ;shod a aerial story whioh contained 2,04c ohaptero, You get the worth of your money In Ubina. Au Ohio womap Bays that pioklod poach. ea are bho first step in a downward eerier, Moab guy ono eau eland a bushel of the downward, A horse named "Bob Ingersoll" has been ruled off all Oho California raoo•ooureeo. He didn't seems to believe in anything except bolting, Tho Now Orleaue Picayune has oomo to the ooaoluoioa that "a limited lability deb prevents a m to from paying more debts than 0bfb0 his convenience," When 10 le ono minute after 8 o'olook ib to )test 8, Wham it thirty minutee after 8 10 ie only half past 8. Hero is another dia. oovory to make the world pause and foal Bad. There aro explosivee wbioh have seventy times more power than gunpowder, and yet itis only now and then that a man spate himself on e. keg of powder to enjoy a quiet smoke. Boston is to have a thirbeen story business block, If it ever gets op fire the !lama are to start in the third story where the engines clan reaoh them. Tho arolalteob has provided for thab. Au Ohio farmer mortgaged hie farm to gab hie wife some diamond ear -rings, and she lost ono of them in the suds the very flret wash day, and attempted to hang her• self in the barn, A rich man in Portland, 0., got drunk the other day and bought thirtyaix coffins for hitneelf, leaving only about ten more in etouk in the town. The rioh are alweys taking these advantages. Two witneaoee in a ease in Iowa who swore than they sew a mal forty rods off draw a revolver wore proved to bo so nearsighted Slab they could nob tell a revolver from a poodle doe fifteen rode away. An English ship which recently entered Vera Crnz'had seven of its crew laid up with broken bones. The mato had been pratio. reg on them for a week or two, and he was astonished that any coutpleinb should be made, An Italian newspaper warns Italiana against immigrating to this country, saying that Comedians hem no reaped' for them. That is not true, An Italian laborer or hand organ grinder is respected for what there is in him. An Ohio cow was found in a swamp the other day whore elle had passed thirbysix days and nights of anxious waiting. She had grown so thin that a man easily picked her up, and ib took three days bo get her full of hay. - GeorgeOomae., arestdeubof Virginia City, claims to have been visited by Satan, and to have had a long balk with the old boy. He was told that everything was 0. K. this win- ter, with business pushing his majesty day and night. The medical student who saioided in Now York the other day left a message reading: "I die because there is no room for any more dooters." Bo mush have boon crazy. Hun- dreds of doctors are graduating every year and findingpatients. South Carolina always hangs a murderer in publics, and she defies any one to find a spectator of any hanging who has sobs°. quontly taken human life, She claims bhab every execution oaken a profound impres. cion of Oho vengeance of thdlaw. Fire Screens. 1 here are now so many pretty ways of making screens, that it semi a real ease of " embarrae de Mimeos ;' but I think, for a fire shield, nothing to 0o charming as plate. glees, as it dome away with the rather forlorn feeling that cornea over one when an opaque screen hides the glowing code from view ; and, though nob in itself a novelty, still there are so many pretty new ways of fram- ing and decorating the ghee, that I think it may claim a plaoe among "winter novelties." The prettiest is an oval wooden frame, paint• ed oream, lighly Beaked with gold " clouds " riving to a point ab the top. A group of roses, ivy, and berries, or any deeign select- ed, may be modelled lightly below the point, a delicate trail being carried down one aide, and on the other a few birds or butterflies painted flat. The reverse aide would be pretty carried out in a different style, say a small landscape painted, and shaded off underneath the point, with a few grasses rising from the bottom of the frame, with here and there a bee or butterfly poised. The modelling musb be very light, and nob car- ried too far down or near the edge, as a screen of this description is oonsbanaly mov- ed about.—The Queen. Macaulay on British Polities. Macaulay had not an exalted idea of Brit- ish politica. In a newlypnbliehed letter whioh he wrote to the late Duncan McLaren about the alienation of the Scottish Dissen- ters from the Whig Government, he said '' I am familiar, I am sorry to eay, and so are all men in office, with the low selfishness of mankind. One man gives you to under- stand that unless his earldom is burned into a marquisate he cannot continue to eupporb the Government. Another stays away from the House of Commons on an imporbanb di• vision bowmen his father is nob made Lord - Lieutenant, Your precious townsman— (but this is between ourselves)—toile me that he shall withdraw his support from me because I bavo positively refund bo ask Lord Melborne to make him a Grand Cross of the Bath. Then things aro pitiable, but I am used to them. I do hope, however, that the whole dissenting body of Scotland is not about to lower ibself to the level of such people as I have mentioned." The Piokerel he Caught, On a recent trip Governor Routh gave me permission to toll a fish story, which, he says, General Grant enjoyed exoeedingly, In the early days of Leadville's boom a group of minors and good fellows warn gathered around the tavern stove spinning yarns. One had caught a 10 pound trout, another had harpooned a whale in the Arotio eons, and so on, when up spoke the little Govern- or: "Well, boys, all thetas nothing to my luck ; I once naught a pickerel that weighed 180 pounds l" "Oh, Governor I a pickerel weighing 180 pounds I" resounded from all sides. No one would believe the tale, but Routh persisted, and, after vainly trying to shake their incredulity explained : "Pick• oral is my wifo's name." He says he never spent a cent for cigars or other luxuries dine ing the root of his vlgib, One of his hearers Rave him a share in the mine that started him on the high road to great wealth.•• -(Chi. °ago America. Dropped Dead From Ezoitement. Crana'oN, March 4.—David Welsh, it re. tired farmer, of Godorioh bownehip, about 70 years of age, dropped dead the other afternoon from exoitemonb while attending a meeting of the creditors of 11. bt, Realty at the Grand Union hotel. x