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The Brussels Post, 1898-9-16, Page 6• BRUSSELS POST. SEPT. 9, 1S98, thia second arop is often clover, whieh, IKINT5 FOR , exposed Ian to the Mina reset, soon loses its leaves, which axe the very best 'FHB FARMER. and most nutritious portions of the ' FEED FOR DAIRY COWS. What feeds should the farmer grow Who expects to keep his paws up the. entire year esteept for exercise, and who withes to work them to their full ca- Paelty t Rye, clover andante, in the order oamed, will furnish feed from the .middle of April to July L and a plot of early aweet corn will be ready to feed by that date, and before the middle of July .sorghum will be reedy to nut, and this and corn, both field and Sweet, will furnish feed from this date until the frosts kill them .9.ccord- Lig to Waldo Brown, an there of sor- ghum will feed a bard of fifteen cows for two full months, and even longer on rich land and with a favorable sea- son; but the best thing about sorghum •is that it will make a good crop in the dryest years. The land on which rye and clover is grown should, be plowed and put in order for a later crop of corn and sorghum. for Septem- ber and October feeding. For the sake of some variety in the feed I would grow some corn to feed from August 1 till frost, as cows, like peo- ple, enjoy a °bangs of diet occasionally. I have devoted considerable space to the subject of soiling, because this is the only profitable way to keep a dairy on a small farm, and the keep- ing of a. dairy scams to be the best and cheapest way to furnish manure to make the lend ride so as to grow large crops, As to make dairying pregnable, it is necessary to have a good market, and as the work is confining and dis- tasteful to many, I -will suggest that, with a few cows to furnish the family and give some milk to be fed the pigs at weaning time, pig pork can be pro- duced at e, profit on a small farm, and rightly managed pigs will make a large amount of excellent manure. omake the most profit from pigs I think It would be necessary to buy some fee& and if this is done, I Would recom- mend that, as a rule, it will be bast to buy bran and oil meal, old process, gather than corm. It will be necessary to provide a place to store both bran and corn, and buy a stock to last e. goad while wben the price Is low, if you would realize oho greatest profit. I have storage for ten tons of bran, and have often bought at $8 a ton, and before it was fed out the price would go up to nearly or quite twice that, and one year it was ed2 a ton in three months atter I bought at elle. If pork Is to be a leading product of the farm, I would grow an ecre of beets each year to feed bate to the sows and to the cows, as sows fed on beets during pregnancy are In good condi- tion at farrowing time, and seldom lose ' their pigs, and plenty of beets fed to them when suckling will increase the flow of milk, and. if the cows ere fed beets through the winter they will give more milk, and the pigs will grow on a milk diet faster than with any other toed. If beets are grown for feed there should be a place in the barn to store at least one or two hun- dred bushels, and a cellar, or frost and rat proof room is so convenient and valuable that it should be found to every barn. Later I will tell how to make such a room. If you are near a good market: for potatoes, and have soil exited to their growth, I would ad- vise that a few sores of them be grown. ow manure is better for this erop than horse, and with rich land, and thorough cultivation, large yields may be grown, and usually an acre of pota- toes wi.11 pay for more food for pigs or poultry than two or tines acres in corn will buy, Potatoes main cooked pro- fitably for stock, and I have never found any other food that will pay for cooking, and they will, when mashed, while hot, impart a goori flavor to several times their bulk of slop, and make the food as palatable as milk. A peck of potatoes, which can be boiled on the kitchen stove while getting and eating breakfast, if mashed fine while boiling hot and raised with a bushel of bran and a peck of corn meal or wheat middlings, with one or two pounds ot old protease oil meal, will make a large barrel of rich slop, that is cheap, palatable and nutritious, and that will keep pigs es healthy as any other food. will The essential points in making a little term support a fam- ily are keeping the soil rich, keeping it constantly at work growing some- thing that the family or the stock can eat, and studying your market and growing something that it wants and will pay for. Often a half acre of to- matoes can be grown as a second crop after early potatoes, and will find the best market of the year late, when the early tomatoes are past bearing. In many localities a quarter or half acre of berries can be made largely prof- itable and in most neighborhoods some money can be made by growing plants for sale. Whatever (inc of farming you follow, do not negleet the poultry, as you may be sure of from $100 to WO from them, From wbat 1 have written it will be seen that to make a living from a few acres will require quite different malinger/lane from that which will be successful an a large farm, CHRISM SECOND -CROP ElAY. The Naomi eropof rowen and clov- er hay is very desirable for all milth stink, heifers, calves, and sheep, to say nothing of poultry. For all these pur- pthee it is not only as good, but far bettor than the first crop, Inasmuch as it is ether, more easily masticated, botior relished, and contented, with lose waste by the live stock, It meet, however, timely be eared somewhat diaterently froth the firsL crop, for the reason that it is eut when the Pall Weather is at hand, with short days and cool nights" which do not admit of tie math atinedrying ae is possible earli- er in the surname. Then the bulk of hay. Hence it tollows, from both of the above causes, that ibe secondwrop htLY is to be made mainly in cookie We can out the hay late in the afternoon, allow tba same to Be over night, told a theta time the following forenoon, or untie the lewes become well wilied, ween we should begin to rake into , windrows. Tale is to be followed by putting up into small to .medium-sized. coke or bulaches, wbere the hay should remain from one to two days, wbeu t tv to be thoroughly shaken out and tared, all dampness dried away, and then it is ready to put In the barn. After hay has been in the cooks for a sufficient Limo its moisture comes out, tieing to the heat generated—or as the form- er says, it sweats—and after the sweat - mg has been thoomplished, there is usually no moisture left to do any berm. The sweating causes the hay to feel damp, and when we clay off this dampness the hay is ready for the barn. In catchy fall weather it is especially advantageous to bees a good supply o on tbo conks as the atutiauw bout y-eaPsdteontrcee as harmful to the hay as summer thew - ors. Day -caps, indeed, are a 110005- 88.17 adjunct to all hay -making. Care- fully handled they last a lifetime, and • would almost as soon think of going to work haying without a fork as to de - prise ourselves of the advantages rained by the poseossiou of caps. There I are few single seasons when the cost of . the caps will not be many Lime; saved to the gain in the quality and feeding , value of the bay harvested. HINTS AS TO FEEDING POULTRY. There are some points in the feed- ing of young poultry which one can hardly afforcl to learn by eeperience, says a. writer. One of these is that they cannot digest sawdust or chaff. It is a common thing if the weather is eold or wet Le put a nice basket of sawdust or chaff on the floor of the coop, and in itself it is a, good thing, as it keeps the floor dry and the chicks warmbut remember that the young birds cannot digest these things, and if you feed dough on it, it will thick to the soft feel and be swallowed, and soon your chicks are dyiug off from a mysterious disease, and you will do well you ears 9 quarter of them. It is better to sand the floors and sweep there twice a. week; but the chaff may be used if you will feed in trougha and always clean them before putting the feed in. Our most successful poul- try -growers mix sharp coarse sand wit h the soft feed, and find that the result Ls better than keeping gravel in a box where they ecu have access to it. I keep a keg of sand near the mixing box, end mis a pint of send once a day in a ten -quart bucket of dough. All poultry that Is kept confined should have plenty of green food, and there is nothing tor May anti Tune feeding that can be so easily grown as lettuce, or that is so much relished by fowls, both old and young. LONGEST BEARD IN WORLD. Scotelunan intone innate Appendage measures $ tvin Peet In Length. The longest beard to the world raeas- urea seven feet in length. It belongs to a Scotchman named Alexander Mo- n -wen, who was born forty-five years ago. Ile is afeet 9 inches in height, so that when standing on a table he has a good eighteen inches of hair hanging below the level of his feet. This extraordinary hirsute appendage dal not show signs of abnormal growth until he was tbout 30 years of age, It was allowed to grow naturally, and, in- deed, very little attentiou was paid to it. Most people would consider a beard of this length a nuratince, but the owner of it keeps it tied up with a bon and uses it as a. ebest protectree He considers this sa.ves a little in the way of cough mixtures and doctors' bills. For years he never had the beard untied, and until recently his most intimate friends did nol know of its extreme length. He allows only A little hair to show outside his vest, and the most casual observer would fail to detect the rest slipped inside. None of the other members of his family have shown signs of great growth of hair, except one brother, who is fif- teen years younger, and whose beard at present reaches the foot of his vest. TOLD BY THE OLD CIRCUS NAN. More About lite 541:5(eet or all 5114818 and About the natant abater. "I've told you mice or twice," said the old circus man, 'something about the great giant we had anvil, the great- est of en giants; but .1 never told you just what his height was, because you never would have believed it if I had, You. eau form some idea about it though, when I tell you I hat he had to stoop down to pat our great. eigla teen -foot giraffe on the head, That was an eat that we used to make I he most of. At every performiume we used to show the :slant, of course; and after he'd walked around the ring mice or twice we used to bring In the groat giraffe. We'd taught the giraffe to answer the ottle and the giant would stand over on the other side of the ring and call him, and when the gir- affe had cone over beskle hem he would bend over one pat him on the head, the same as an ordinary man would a greybouud. "Well, now, you know the people used to rise right im 51 that, and I don't wonder, either, bemuse it was a. greet act, the greetest, I think, I ever law." NAY DOCK AT HONG KONG. A 'despatch from. Washington, D.C., sayat—Ambassrtdor Hay, in a cable. green to the State Department, re- calved on Tuesday, says otic British Government bee cltrooteci the Governer of Hong Home to, accept Admiral Dew - p tl f I and clean his hip18 Hoeg Kot; BOARD OF GREEN CLOTH, HOW QUEEN VICTORIA'S LARDER IS KEPT SUPPLIED. Weed Grant Whien lo Highly Prized - aloe 'rase er Caring leer the Tonle of inntiond.'s (Mier 15 8 Tremendonit Otte. The complex int erual seratem of Queen Vietorie's great households in city and country, and all Lim details that con- tribute to the luxurious comfort of theta distinguished owner, require master hands to govern Mein to the attisfaetion of Her Majesty. The shopkeepers are indefatigable in attracting the attention of the ruling family to their produets, and many are the shrewd schemes and diplomatic, moves utilized to atcoonaplith that pule poth. Fortunately for the Queen, there is a strong cordon of connoisseurs about her imperial person, and the wares that tickle their palates are se- lected to grain the royal table. These men are censors, and quite well do they perform the arduous duties imposed up- on them by their exalted positions. Were it not for them. Osborne Castle would be hidden beneath a pile ot can- ned goods, furniture, oto., that would supply a feast to all the poor iu the kingdom. The royal warrant is not merely a diploma, but it, is to some sx- is testimonial of excellence in re- spect to THS WARES SUPPLIED. Other members of the imperial fam- ily can issue these warrents for favor, but its use is prohibited by the hale and hearty English customs outside of that charmed circle. The granting of a warrant is purely a recommenda- tion for the owner of the business. Nearly 900 tradesmen have had the honor conferred upon them. What does it signify 0 The merchant is al- lowed to ruount, the royal arms over his shop door, and to utilize the same alluring design on his stationery. 'eta fact does sot necessarily imply that the Queen or other members of the royal family deals at the present moment with the present establish - melee but it ems indicate that her royal custom has been given at some period of her life, and is likely to be given in future whenever the mood of her chamberlains permits it. Should the holder of the royal warrant trans- fer or sell his business or retire the Privileges carried with the warrant would be teiminated. Bankeuplety al- so means the mut of the warrant's ex- istence. In the case of a special fav- orite with the Queen this stringent rule is overlooked, but such magnanimou liberality is rare. It is the custom with royalty that when oewe a war- rant has been granted IL is very seldom revoked until lbs death of the bene- ficiary. This is done to avoid crite- clam. The revocation of a warrant might be taken to mean that either the Queen—awing to long absence from the place or baying no need of a cer- tain artiole—hed not given any orders for a long time, and was nol likely to give any IN THE rum= wardrobe and toilet, as the name im- plies. 'the list of (orientates eolding warrants hustled by this department Beetled "A Bucoleuch," le a very small one, Then oomes the "Mester of the Horse Warren e," bearing the signature "Portlenci." This deptiatment bas, ef °three, to do with ethelies, trapcar- riages, Mimeo harness and the like of Royal weeder. The total number of warrants given out by this officer ex- ceeds nioety. Is there much simplielty about leas extensive procedure? "Quite so, you know. The brawny sons of aferrie Old England are satis- fied with it, and that suffices." WIRELESS EXPLOSION OF MINES. A New 01441 Curious Application 01' Pleetel. In War 1.113114miN In a 114484108 thabitien, The Int est wonder of wireless tele- grallhe, says the Golden Penuy, 18 London, is the explosion of a subtler - Ins lotus by electrioal waves from a , transmitter used in wireless telegra- phy. In a showcase in ene part of a building 18 placed an automatie trans- mitter, wbich is insulated. storage battery of four cells is peteed in the lower Part ot the case, whith feeds the , primary of Li four inch spark coil, the current from the battery first pees- ' ing through un automatie circuit break- er. This automatie circuit breaker is so arranged that ir will make and break the ciroult, in the same manner as a telegraph operator would when nlenl- MOM:big his Morse key in the act of Galling. In this way it will be Seen that the sparks from the Secondry of the coil are intermittent, and their (Mr - ahem is governed by the length of Lime during which the automatic: dr- ! cult breaker allows the ciroult to be closed while making the dots and dasbes. Immediately in front of the induction coil is placed the improved oscillator, which consists ot two solid brass balls about four inches in (Mim- i eitveere'n mte phunnit e di s a socihuastt atbbl. i s tan" be- t I Outside these bans are placed two . smaller balls about an. inch and a half ' in diameter attached to sliding brass 1 rods, on the outer end of which are other balls one inch in dituueter, so thai the distance between the large I the the email balls can be easily ad - ;lusted. The secondary terminals of the , coil are connected to binding poste on the base of the oscillator. The distance between the balls being properly ad- justed and the currant turned an from the battery, the sound of the second- ' are sparks passing between the halls can quite easily be recognized as the 1 DOTS AND DASHES OF THE SIGNAL. 14 another part of the building, di- rectly opposite and about two bun- , dred feet distant, is placed the receiv- er, which consists of a Clarke soberer relay and receiving instrument which has a large six inch vibrating bell con- : fleeted up in the local circuit, in al - 1 dition to the telegraph sounder. This six inch beli is continually ringing I out the Morse signals, and by holding I down the hammer of the bell the seen& er oat be distinctly heard repenting the same call. I In the centre of a garden Is placed 1 a large tank of water and a miniature war ship is placed in this tank and floated over a submarine mine, which is connected to a ooherer relay and battery placed immediately outside of the tank. One terxniotel of the ether- er is, connected to earth, ansi the oth- er to an insulated wire rising about ten feet in the air. When the time collies for exploding ((5 mine under the ship. the oscillator Is stopped and connection made et the lank between the coherer and the vi- brating bell which is used for test- ing purposes. The oscillator is now startea for an instant, to see if the bell at the iank rings, thus proving that the coherev is in proper adjust- ment. The bell is now disconnected and con- nection made to the submarine mina instead, and at a signal from an at- tendant the man at the transmitter again presses the button, winch throws the current into the oseillator. Tho co- herer completes the local circuit and the mine inatanlly explodes, breaking the war ship into splinters and throw- ing it and the water high In the air. Of course, it is understood that the mine is provided with an ordinary el- eotrieal fuse. Or that there was something deroga- tive in the merits of Che wares, which has caused Her Majesty to withdraw' her patronage from the firm, holding 1 the warrant. Whoa a man takes in / a partner there is some little allowance i only allowed by permission. evarrant is made, but then the retention of the There are many unscrupulous trades- men who have the temerity to use the privileges embodied in the warrant, I bat these fellows are singled out and Punished. There is a heavy penalty attached tn the misdemeanor. How- ever, there e. .., thieg to prevent any merchaui or natitufacturer, for trade purposes, using announcements like the fellowing: To His Late Majesty King George the Feurth," or "To Her Late Majesty Queen Adelaide." These shire at you from •luoth sides of the street in an Englith city till the stran- ger figures out that there have been about 20,000 occupants of the British throne. He finds the announcement on his shoes, hat and other articles ot clothing. He wakes up in the morn - Inge an11 sees the same stereotyped abuse dancing all over the wall paper, The English shapkeeper is "up to snuff' and he takes every advantage of the possibilities 1lowed by Drama, rtzing the real Royal warrant. Tbere are four departments of grent, First, there is lbs offiee of Lord Steward. Its technical name is the "Board of Green Cloth." In this department there is handled everything connected with the Royal eating and drinking. The "Board of Green Cloth" is respon- sible for all the epicurean delights that find their way to the groaning Royal larder. The labor involved in the of- fice is tremendous, as can be easily men when there are no fewer than 92 Royal butchers scattered about in various parts of the kingdom, including those iz Biarritz, leyeres and at Nice; 30 grocers, 3e bread and batmen bakers, 10 fruit merchants, a dozen confection- ers, 9 poultry merchants, 09 merchants, 9 eishmongers, 8 spirit merchant, 8 ale merchants and nine mineral water merchants, Oysters are supplied by two or three purveyors, there is one turtle mere thant, one purveyor of euros fish, two Pork butchers, two vegetable provid- ers, and one potato naercbant, There are three dairymen and two butter merchanbs. The list ends with the names oe eight oil and pickle merchants and one mustard firm. The diplomas issued by this department are at pree- ent signed "Pembroke." The "I3oard of Green Cloth" Le by far the most im- portant of the departments, baying in charge the rope' tamilyet comfort and Welfare, The Lord Chamberlain's dut- iett are very °throes. As with the "Board of Green Cloth," he has to choose the fittings, furniture, paint- ings, decoretione, etc., of the Royal residences, Ile must see that they are kept La good repair and order. The warrant; lathed by the Lord Chamber- lain would be eigned. 'Latham." Vhs nobs t t lnaks e erything connected with the Royal HOW IT IS DONE IN INDIA. A. SlIseelioneons Collection '('lien lip Aller 44 114'11914159 Sleeting. There is nothing particularly enter- taining about: laming the prate or col- lecting -box through a riongregation at the bast, eul., the Monotony of merely dropping in coins is varied in quite a lively way in India, it Seen3S, from an amount given in the Indian Wit- ness of a uneeLing 18 Kileigunj, The writer says: "Al. a signal, the preach- ing table MIAS removed, a apace wee cleared, and the giving begen, With pence" in band, I took an inventory as rapidly as I could, for all moved on very briskly, and withoet any western tricks of simulation. Animals were 'put. into the het.A frisky kid was lecl up by string and tied to tha /horns of the altar, 05 rather leg, of the preaching sten& Thee came a fine goat. A. conk and hen were male& Then 55015 a loath of whistling chicks Grain e as nontribuLed, wheat, barley, pew rice, sheaves, and flour were poured into the area., Clothing and jewellery were piled on the table, and the list runs 1 Coats, a shawl, stock - Inge, turbans, theton thread, ribbons, an umbrella, and toe and finger rings, Sundry tillage flowed in as eggs, sweets, spieies, books, te lanai', bread; and a large pile of wood, two men, apparene brlokmakers, reported [100 bricks costribated, Oash jingled clown and &evades rattle& Rupees 80 13-0 were counted to, and there were "ow - arta bus of promiseory steep, which the beano of chieks sent flying as they flul•- tend about." The popuratton of Russia, to increase beg at the rate of 1,000,000 a emir. MANNERS OF THE MOORS In contrast to some northern na- thins, it la hardly too Mud), to say that the Moor, of whatever elass, is bora a gentleman. There is such a grace about the hmoblest, such an eaey dignity, that whenever circumstances plata thane in positions calling for the exercise of courtesea they vary seldom fail to respond, and thus it cornea to /Lase that in a demoortitie nation, in which every man of ability—cunainge pertuips, would be the better word— may rise to the highest place, even Moue') he start lite as a slave, the eelf-proelaiming parvenu is practically nonexistent. This is not, however, to imply that ganeheele and Lbs unplea- sant menthes which come from evil dis- positions or stupidity are unknown. Unfortunately the life led by the aver- age Moor is one that dwarfs refine- ment of intellect, as 11 does develop- ment of mind, and the vices to which the majority succumb in early lite too often stultify the most prominent commencement, Probably much of the graceful deferemie of the young Moors is Inc to the, respect they are taught to pay to their elders, but some- thing also mast be due to their uncon- strained life and limbs and their ample costuinos, while their very slowness of action takes an air of It is a peaty sight to see two elderly dignified Moors salute. With measur- ed, pace, the eyes of each fixed on those of the other, they approach with a slight inolinetion, holding the right hands slighted advanced. They press their finger Lips together, and cora- wenn a volley of prescribed salata- tions, greetings and inquiries, hardly pausing to insert replies, and ejacu- late "God be praised!" Then each presses the finger tips which have been honored by contact with those of his friend against his lips, and then upon his heart, as he raises bra head, and re- doubles hos satuteLions. To every fellow Muslim the greeting is given "Es -saltine alaikum," "Peace be unto you." To which the panswer is "We alaikum es-salani," "And to you be peace." To the unbeliever the near- est approach to this permitted de "Ala Salton tak," "On thy peace," which might mean anything. The way to speed the parting guest is to exclaim "God give thee pethe I" or, more curt- ly. "In peace." To those whose pres- ence has never been desired it is usual to exelebn in tones sufficiently explic- it "Allth ihann-ak l" "Gosi protect thee I" On arrival it is customary to est:Jahn to the guest "Welcome to thee!" or "Marhabben, a -hien, we sah- lan," "Be welconte, at home and at ease." Courteous interrogatories fall thick and fast. "how art thou? Thy house"—the nearest approach permit- ted to tuquiry after a man's wife— "Thy relatives. What news? Is no- thing wrong ?" To which he replies, if there is nothing specially to complain of, "Alt right, thank God. Ali are in prosperity." Or, if bad news has to be given, "God knows; everything is in the hand of God. When a Muslim meets a European them:mauled, by a Moor, though the latter be the servant, be not infre- quently ignores the presenue of the foreigner and ofeers the salutation to his co -religionist only, but if he pass- es a mixed company of Moors and Jews or Christians, he exclaime, "Peace be on the people of Psiate I" Lf two such parties meat on the road the phrase is, 1 "Peace be to those accompanying the Jews," or "The Nazarenes," and it is ' sufficient for one at each party to give and. return the greeting, though in the country several often do so. In- feriors saluting superiors usually kiss the hand, shoulder, top of the turban ! or feet, or the knee or stirrup of a 1 horseman, according to the terms on which they approach. The more abject i forms are naturally only used to im- plore a favor, though they are employ- ed sometimes to Europeans. In the extremity of supplication the very Emit of one's horse are embraced. The old, custom of falling on the an- other's twice is still in vogue between friends long separated. Men andwo- men restrict their greetings in public Lo words, but, personally, I was some- what startled by the sudden embrace of a negress whose freedom my Lather had been the means of obtaining, when returning to the country after some years absence. the kisses on such oc- casions aro, however, fortunately deliv- ered, in the air or on the shouldee. It is customary to exclaim at such meet - time, "I have been desolated for thee I" To judge from the exolametidris ever on the tongues of the Moors, they might be an extremely pious people, and no doubt there are among them those who really mean what they say, but generally the most religious phras- es Inge degenerated into vain repeti- tion. Elaborate curses fall almost as freely. When about, to repeat some portion of the Koran, or te /utterer, the petition is commonly uttered, "1 take refuge with God. tram Satan, the stoned," aura when anything great or alarming oc- turs they exclaim, "There is neither change, nor power, them in God, the high, the mighty!" Quotations from the Koran are also freely introduced in conversation by the learned as 'are proverbs and sayings by the genaral- ity of Moors, a knowledge of which is a great help in coneersation, Several Mlle social usages of Moorish life deserve ateentimi, though not con- fined to Morocco, such as the oedema. tion to one who months, "The forgive - n5518 of God be on Me and on, thee 1" to which the reply is, "justice and. praise to Goal" 11 a man who yawns in pub Ile does net use the prescribed formula any one speaking to him may plath the 'Leek of bes Med te bis Meath, Otter - tog a pious senteace, es the devil is sant operation in yawning mouths. On the other hand. Any one evearteg anew gement or looking specially spruce or havi»g performed some Mever or mere- torious sot rtheives the dompliment, "131-sahhelook," "In thy strength." But if othaaion should arise for the mention, in polite society or before a superior, of a woman, a pig, or 0. jaw, it 10* the to make oe an apolo- gy, "Ilash-ak I" A. Moor knows how to enjoy a good joke to the full, and, seated on the floor he 1ekvatotfxgrd ou=•1tiriluft fe the teller at the Ailey, will join in the proeess, too, Raising their right hands Su' above their heads xs they rail back, they bring them together in a hearty shake. There never was 0 grander way of enjoying a, joke invented. The wo- ' mem when happy Wien Vent tit Mein coatings by a shrill "Yon yoe, yoo 'yoga you yoo yoo I" FLASHES OP FUN. He—A worann, you know, Is as old AS She looks. She—Ilow dreadful 1 Because a man has wheels it does not follow that he is noted for his graceful carriage. Little Clarence—Father, what is the difference between firmness and ob- stinacy? Father—Merely a matter of sex, zny Son, eleill—lee what respeet does Sinai axe eel all other nations 0 3111—'l'hy, Spain has the finest submarine leaver in th° world, Clara—When I was out On my wheel this morning I creaked my enamel quite badly. Maud—You rause learn not to smile. My husband is plain-spoken; be calls a spade a spade. So does ;nine; but mud decline to repeat what he mills the lawn mower. I have noticed, said the Cumminsville sage, that the man with the narrow- est mind is prone to make the broad- est assertions. But yours is sixth a narrow life, said the summer boarder. 0, I dunno, said the favreev. It's spread out over 820 acres, She, im business for herself.—Do you 1 think you can learn to love me? He, a deputy sheriff,—Oh, some clay Imay have en attachment for you. Compoeer—Did you hear the torment and despair in my tone poem, "Tantal- us," that I just played you? Listener— Bo; but I noticed there on the faces of the audience. Do you find my son prompt and punc- tual, Mr. Grindley? 1 never had a young* man in nav employ who, at the eloso of business hours, meld get out of the office with less delay. I have heard that she walks in her sleep, said the gossip. Indeed I returned Mrs. Parvenue scornfully. So common, isn't it? I should think she would ride, know what keeps mamma so lcmg, said little Frames, by way at explain- in9 her mother's continued absence to a caller. What is it ,dear 0 She said she'd be•back soon. Brown—I made an awful fool of my- self this morning. Mrs. Brown—I don't see any =lesion for making a fuss over it. It isn't the first time. Brown—It is the first time since I married. Observer—Do you think that you San ever iearn to ride a wheel? Beginner —Indeed I do. After the difficulties II have surmounted in getting ono, I feel competent to accomplish anything. This is the parlor, eh? tentatively 1 remarked the real estate agent, • who Was looking over the house • " Yes," • replied old man Kidder ; but 1 usually call it the court-roorn—I've got seven daughters, you know. I suppose there are Many problems which Polar explorers seek to solve?' said the unscientific inan. Yes, replied, the intrepid traveler, a great many. What is the most important one? Get- ting back. Anxious Mother—How is it that you have so much trouble with your house- keeping? You told nae your wife could cook. Adele Son—She can. Then what is the inatter f She won't. First burglar—Why, what's the mat- ter ? Have you been in a railway aoci- dent? Second 'burglar—Oh, no, but I broke into a house where a women was siltiug up waiting Inc her husband and she mistook me for him. Edwin—You would not take that un- cle of mine to be a sensitive plant at all, would you? Reginald—Ile certain- ly does not look it. Edwin—Well, he is, Attempt to, touch him and he closes up immediately. Kitty—Yes, there's no domeng that Charley Touter is a Fascinating fellow; but don't you know they say he is in- clined to be fast? Natty—Nonsense( It ' took him a good bour last night to get out of the house from the Lime he started. Nervous Passenger—Captain, what would be the result it the steamer should strike an iceberg while We are plunging through this fog 1 Captain of Steamehip—The iceberg would move right along, madam, just as if nothing had bapponed. Foundation of a Theory—Watts —1 sae that a German soientist asserts that the memory is stronger in summer than in winter. Potts—I guess ha wrote thae after hearilig some old foliate talk- ing theta the hot summers of forty years ago. Farmer 'Whiffietree—You any you wane a job and would work for a cent a minute? Why, that is sixty eente, an' hour, six dollars a day, thirty-six dol tars a week, a hundred and—." Weary Willie, faintly,—Hold on dere base1 Call it half a cent a minute dim. I only want ter do five cents' worth, Fannet , Honk—Your nephew that went: to college has kinder got eared of his dieposition, ain't he ?Far - mac Grayneek—Waal, he Is at least oured at all disposition to retire at a reasonable hoer at night, but, On the other hand he is a good deal More ree thine as you might tall it in the in' than before—in feet, he usually etays retired till about 10 o'elocelt, 00 the 143 holders of the Victoria °VOSS to fewer than fourteen are axing sargoons, Health Department. HEALTHFUL AND OCONOMICAL. My wife and 1 are trying hard To live on healthful dial; We read the food -0114a by the yard, Anil run our klithen by Ile We've banished from our bills of tare 1 Alt thee; stieh guides condemn; True hygiene is all our tam, As planned and taught by them. For breekfteth, mates is tabooed, Hot. rakes and eggs forbidden, And milk, sinee it is oft imbued With amens profuse, 11100911 hidden; rereail is uowliolestnue, so Is steak; Submissive Lo our I 01, Oatineel and gritharn gems we take, And drink boiled watar, hot. For dinner, soup will never do, And oysters, typhoid nourish; Salado, entrees, and ices, too, Are mere dyspeptic flourish; Potatoes (by the last advice) Are poisonous, we're told; We eat rare meat, chapped fine, with rice, And drink boiled water, cold. For supper --some professors Leath arra bath to go without it, But sin ee discretion is left to each We take our theme about it. On chicken, waffles, Lea, and cake, We are forilid to feed; 'But gluten veneers, cocoa (weak,) And prance ere all we need. ,It grieves us Much our friends tcovieve So reckless in their diet; Our wholesome menu we pursue, I And beg of them to try it. But appeate's ungodly sway Their nature so enthrells, We outline: get a guest to stay Within our healthful wallet CARE OP Tell?, MEET. While the care of the hands, the hair and the complexion are prolific subjects for discussion at the present time,it is very seldom that mention is ever made of the oars of the feet. Aad yet if any member of Um body is deserving of epecral oars and attention 11 is these taithful members upon bwehinicacip h s:ion:doh of our comfort andcwell That many of tie, in the hurry and worry, the toiling and the moiling of every day lite do become umnindful of the proper care of the "house beauti- ful" is a deplorable faot. Every moment, is so crowded with its own particular allotment of lei:loess that no time is left for such eninor eon- sideratioas of all modal beritages, a I strong and perfect; phythal system. We all know there Ls nothing so bit - 3 .taling to the nervous syetern. an I noth- ing so quickly* fatigues the veliole body as tender, aching feet. And yet bow tew give time or thought to the mine ty. 'Do every one who has to be math on their feet, the selection 01 comfortable footwear should be given much atten- tion. Light, easy shoes, with good, thick soles and low boolo and sott, seamless stockings can not bo beat for every- day wear. Several pairs of both are necessary, for if t he feet perspire both the thoes end. the eLoclungs should be changed. °Hee, es •nothing Is more re- freshing when one is weary and foot- sore than cement foot bath and a change of footwear. Cores and bunions are generally the re .ult of 111-littieg ethos an,1 the greal- est, tare should be used in theeelection of shoes for the chiltirea, that the fit may be parttime as a shoe too large is quite as bad. as a shoe too small. Malay people think that, any old foot - weer is goucl enough for bile working in the field, and 1 have often seen boys, footsore and weary from following the plow all day, wearing old, worn-out ahoes, gaping et, the toes and run down at the heels, with the sand sifting in to gall and irritate the feet, when the ex- penditure of 0. very Mae money for comfortable shoos and stockings could have lightened the latter by eue-htelf and aavcd the boy much suffering from future corns and bunions., elousekeepers might have saved them- selves a great deal cue footwearthess it they would learn to sit as muoleas pos- sible While doing their work. When one becomes accustomed to sitting on a, high stool et 14,3 kitchen table one can wash dishes, iron and du many other things quite me quickly iteidwill math less fatigue than when standing. Them Is one sovereign remdey for meet, aching Isot, LliteL I know has proven a, boon to many weary house- keepers. Thal is to soak the foot in tepid seit and water, then with a dull knife scrape the harcl calloused places, and rub the font and ankle with seine good rat:belie salve, oi• even ea:aline, It will dry out the soreness and rest the feet wonderfully; one hes only to try it for a few nights in succession iu order to be convinced of its efticacy. IN THE SICK ROOM, Pine tar is excellent intellect in a at:k- raal as 1511 itifectente i5 induces sleep, oup of hot mitk (layered \ Orange flower water, or one of beef tea is excellent for an invalid ju.sl. before re- tiring. Oeet ten, 158 ardinarily 'taper- ed, is of little nutritive value, but if the white of an egg be mixed wit h a eolith' of beet tea and heated to ;about MD degrees E. the velint of the beef tee, is greatly ethanced. PIGEON'S NOVITL mEssion, Vhs inost interesting use to whieh carrier pigeons have ever beee put will be on the occaeacte of the coronation of the young Queen Wilhelmina, of Holland, In Amsterdam no that day no fewer than 0,000 hoitieg pigeons, collected from. every portion of the low countries, will be deposited in the pub - lie square at the rear of the famous Ryx Museum, and at a prearetieged moment, ethen the young sovereign &Wee into the egeore td be aeolaimea by her /ovine; subjects, the birds will receive their freedom, and will nervy to every peat of Holland the tidinge that the coronation of. Queen mina, is an agzoinpitatod fatrat