The Brussels Post, 1901-3-7, Page 6Norm S AN CO Aili,aWTS
e«+++
Sir Robert Hart, who of all nein
E,Ii,ropeans probably best understands
the Chinese, concludes a seritei of
itrtieles In the Fortnightly Review
ou China :and the recant troubles
with a statement of his idea as to
•ltow anlitters in the East may be
permanently improved and erhttlen
leetween the Chinese aah foreigners
ohvi8Led. He admits that there ie
little likelihood that: his suggestions
will prove acceptable to the Was:.
ern rowers either new or later;
nevertheless, when Sir Robert Hart
states what the chief cibetacle is to
a treed understanding with China.
and how it may be role:aved, hie upiu-
ion cannot lie » , $ed neer lightly•
The recent oiittreak aryl present
ooinplioatio(s, of which he had given
an explauatlan, lie pets aside as
temporary episodes and deals with
the general enduring question of
Chinese hostility to foreigners and
how to do away :with it. The hostil-
ity is unavoidable at present, through
faults on both striae. 'Tice Chinese,
by reason of their isolation, aresat-
isfied that they are the greatest
nation on earth, superior to all oth-
ers in intelligence. The fact that
all neighboring States have been
tributary to them, together wi h
their ignorance of everything be-
yond, and their faith in the system
� AMORy ;.
ONOT,FFR
•
ev Dr. Talmage Advise
sistent Prayer.
Per..
A.
dovetail from Washingtonsays: paid for our reseals? Look over the
Rev: Dr. Talmage preached from the grit five, tea, fifteen years of: our
Renewing text: --"And there wee a 'life how vanish slated opportunity!
greatrata.": 1. Binge, xviil, 411. Professing to lire for God and pier-,
•. mugs consuming drought had come pity, has not our profeeelnn some -
upon the land. The leaves crumpled ; aisles been a lie, and our position a by,
the earth brake open; the buckets r word( 0my brethren anti sisters, we
came down on the stony bottom of (rhe' roust come down 'out of this pride.
well, and found no water; the eattle We must humble ourselves before
bellowed with thirst on the beaks of God, as Elijah did, Church of 'God,
the ravine, that was once all a -rush repent I repent l To the dust. Put
with liquid brightness. Alas! must on sackcloth! Weep alou:l for thy
the nation die? Tip the lido of Mount sin ! Wail tar the dead!
Carmel go Elijah, his servant, and I rem:u'k again Lu .regard to the
Icing Ahab. There is a magnificent patitian of Elijah: It was a definito
prospect from the ice of Mount Car- prayer. There were fifty things
mel, You can look off upon the Med- • that Elijah would have liked to have
iterranean and see vessels moving up bad far himself, There were. fifty
and down, parrying the commerce of things he would have liked to have
great nations. It is a very annspicu-' 18814 fox the people; but he goes there
Gus point. The sailor to this day, calls and 88188 far just one teeing, and that
it Cape Carmel, But Elijah did not go . is rain.
to the top of the mountain for the fine' fy friends, there aro too many
prospect. Ile went up there to pray glittering generalities in our prayers.
for rain and the Bible says he cast I think that is the reason they 40
himself down on the ground and put do not amount to much. We must
his bee between his knees, and cried go bef'or'e God with some speeifie er-
mi:ghtily unto the Lord that the land rand, and say: "Here are my children,
.of competitive examination by whichmight not parish, but (11111 the (haw- st'ranger's to the Oaven"nt of grace
intellectual merit has been tested for ere height come. As soon as he had ; having no part or lot in the'matter.
centuries, have assured them of their finished the first prayer, he sant his ! 0 Lord, save my children!" and just
own superiority and led them to "ervant to the outlook of the mown- pall them by name. You have been
look for defsrenee from ali who came 11in to see if there were any signs 1 asking that the commercial world be
to their land, All their ideas rentire of rain. The servant came back and consecrated to Christ, and that was
a shock from the Western men wie said: " No Signe of rain." Again, Elijah a glittering generality. Why do you
Prayed and againthe servant went to not ear, "Here Is my partner In busi-
laugh at them, question their super- p yt
tority, and instead of obeying them the outlook and came back with the nese. all absorbed in the world; 0
force them to do their will, "habit Same information, and the third time Lord, c:anvcrt him by the' grape, and
of thought had led the Chinese to and the fourth, and no rain, and the show him that there is something
expect one kind of action and one fifth time and no rain, and the sixth better for his soul than this world."
style of language, but Western in- time and no signs of rain. And then I wish I could snake you feel that you
dependence has always given thaw Elijah threw himself into a more im- are responsible
just the opposite, and the result has portunate petition, and for the seventh FOR SOME, ONE SOUL.
ever been a sense of insult that time he oried unto the Lord, and for To you not suppose that when you
must be acoepted by reason of an lm- the seventh time he sunt his servant Como before God in judgment, be
potence that is maddening" • to the outlook. Lo 1 the young man will ask you about those over whom
--- came back saying: "I sae a little you had an influence? Will he not
On the other hand offence has cloud five or six inches long, about theask you about your own children?
often been given unintentionally by size of a man's hand." Elijah leaped will ho not say: "Where is John, or
the foreigners. The establishment of from his kneesand said to the sere George, or Mary, or Sarah, or Han -
the treaty ports brought with it int: "Run and tell king Ahab to nab? Where are they?" And if, in
smuggling and the iniquitous legali- get down out of the mountain; the that hour, you say: "I don't know, I
ration of the opium trade which the freshets Neill come, and unless he flies don't know,' perhaps God will point
Chinese were endeavoring to put new, he will never get home." The and say: "There, do you see that? Do
down. In spite of their good works, servant starts for king- Ahab. Ahab you kneev what that is? Why, that
the presence of the missionaries is gats in the chariot and speeds down is the blood of their soul( on your
felt to be a standing insult to the the mountain, and Elijah, more swift- garment!"
people, and their interference with footed than the horses, leads the char- I remark again; that this prayer of
the action of tribunals, their oc- lot down the hill. Tho cloud that was Elijah was a confident prayer.
casionaily injudicious behavior and only five or six inches long, expands There was no "may-be's" about it.
the disreputable character of some until the whole heaven is filled with Why was it that, when he was pray-
ed their converts has often given of- gloom, and the wind Mows up from ing, he sent his servant to the out -
fence. Tile main cause of irritation, the sea to tbe mountain and from the look? It was because he knew rain
however, the root of all the mischief mountain to the sea, and wee going to come, and he wanted to
in Sir Robert Platt's oyes, Is to be THE THWeseDI:RS BOOM know the first moment of its arrival,
found in the anomalies that arise and there is a wild, overwhelming so that he could get down the lmoun-
from the extra -territoriality which dash as the clouds burst, and the for- tains Ile knew that the rale wauld
Is the central idea of all the treaties eats are drenched, and the earth sings come, just as certainly as Carmel rose
with foreign nations. Ceder these -"And there was a great rain." above him, and the Mediterranean
treaties "the foreign merchant is in "Sell," you say, " what is that to lay beneath him. Have you the same
a privileged position and is with- us? IC is an incident long ago past, positiveness of expectation? Do you
drawn from Chinese jurisdiction; The last drop of that shower is exhal- believe God really means it when he
the missionary is similarly beyoud the ed, the very last lent that was washed says: "Ask, and it shall be given
reach of Chinese law, and his pre- by it, has gone into dust, and why do you ; seek, and ye shall find ; knock,
settee admits of various abuses yell present it this morning ?" For a and it shall be opened unto you?" or
springing up; the foreign ail: is uost practical purpose. I want to is your imploration amere matter of
has under trealies to take uetien o: ;end this whole ehureh to its knees. indefinite "perhaps?" Then away
a kind unknown elsewhere, and the I want to have yoke understand that with your prayers; they will die on
outcome of all these anomalies is a if you will only go up to the Carmel your lips. Coming to God with such
finjusgtice
of ha soreness
, a sensenof of prayerful expectations and look off, an insulting unbelief, he will spurn
lnjustica. and a soreness that never-
theless coul•l still be healed were the you can behold already vapors gather- you away from him. 0 my dear
right remedy applied." Lag into a cloud of mercy which will brethren and sisters in Claret, how
burst in torrents of salvation upon the can we halt and stagger and aouht
That remedy, Sir Robert Hart sug- people. I leave to tell you three or with the Bible full of promises, and
gesis consists in giving an inter- four things about that wonderful heaven full of glories, and God full
national application to the Golden prayer of Elijah which resulted so mercy and salvation for all the peo-
Rule and treating China as any other marvelously. ple.
civilized nation is treated. 1?riau`lli- First: it was a humble prayer. Mark I remark again in regard to that
mess rather than progress is the ab- the l:,ngu."ge of the Bible: "He cast prayer of Elijah: It was asnceessful
jest to be attained now; material ,
pro- hinrarl(1on the earth and put his face prayer, that is, he got what he
gross would fellow afterward. If the between his knees" " Olt," San say, wanted, which was rain -not rain
Western nationcould only agree to ••the posture of tea body doesn't de -
give up the principle of extra-terri- ids the earnestness of aha soul." I only for the trough of the camel;
G
not rain just enough to settle the
toriality, the essential principle in all know that, but the feeling of the soul dust; not rain enough to wet the
their treaties, their relations with very often indicates what shall be the cornfield, but enough to drench the
China would at once right themselves position of the body. There was ser- forests and soak the fields, and Slake
and friendliness would rule. Trade row in your holies. Clouds of bereave- the thirst of a whole nation. Rain
would be permitted everywhere and menthoverod, You ware afraid you'd
110 obataeles would be put in the way y for its mountains, rain for the
of the investment of capital and the lose that loved one. You went to your trees and rain for the eattlo. It was
development of internal re8'Urcee. room; you locked the rloor ; you pray- a great rain 1 Now are we making
Subjection to Chinese juriodictien ed for the tecnvary of that (irk one. the prayer that will bring the same
would maks every fnr,:i;ner take. What position did you take? 3)14 you success? We do not want rain so
care to avoid etfe.nding prejudices as
well ae laws. sit upright? Dir[ you stand? No; you
--- either knelt, or you threw yourself on
Prom his long experien':e with the year' face before God. You bad no idea
Chinese, Sir Robert' Bart believes that position would have any effect with
they can be trusted to deal equitably God, but the position yr,u took was
with foreigners dwelling among them, the result of your feeling, No wonder,
Asa nation they have Plaits undtelbt- then, that Elijah, with his own sins to
ec11y, but they have also fully a,t many confess, and the sins of a nation, took
admirable qualities that are ednar- that bumble posture, and it is most
acteristic of the race and 118 eivilix,- appropriate to -day far us, How are
tion as belong to other peoples. "They we living? Within a few years -yes,
are well behaved," he toll, us, "law perhaps within a few hours, of our
abiding, intelligent, economical and last account; yet, cold and worldly
industrious; they can learn anything end selfish and proud. Where is the
and do anything, they are punctilious- mercy -seat ? How little we pray.
ly po'li'te., tb' y worship talent, and Where is Jesus? How little rte Seek
they believe in right so firmly that his society. Where are the impenit-
''t'i8y seam to think 11 requires to be ant? How little we do for their res -
supported or enforced 117 night; they cue.
deleght la literature, they possess WIIP,RE IS HEAVEN?
and: praoties an admirable system of How little its raptures kindie. our soul,
e,thlce, and they are generous, charit- Cold and hard, ought we not to -day,
able and fond of geed works; tbey you in the pew' and I on the platform,
never forget n, favor; they are prnati- to take before God the same posture
'
1511, 10801181118 sad wonderfully gift-
ed with common Dense; they are ex-
08118(el artisan's, reliable workmen
and of a goad faith that every one
n8knoweeeigee and edni,bres in their
', ovemorola! dealings,"
that Elijah took'? Tall me, are we nil
sone and daughters of the Lord Al-
mighty? Are we the mule that have 1
been r5000mee ? Was the1 crews of in-
_
expressible pain iDao price that was
wandering brother, you nest God off,
40 you/ Will it be strange if God
pasts you off? It will he harder for
Yon at the last than for those wile
novae took the (111.81: step heavenward.
you shamed that you knew your duty;
(law about all those preekeee 8oane8
an Which you once commingled? Where
are they now? flow pun you meet
Christ at last --that Jesus whom you
have been persecuting by a wandering
life? Haw oan you look hien in the
fete lit the last? Are you happy,
back -sliders? 'No, no; you have not
seen an hour of happiness 511100 you
gave ate. your hope and wandered off,
perhaps, to please a skeptical 00m-
panion. You say; ''Oh, if T (amid only
get back to those good old times when
I did serve God!" The most wretola
ed' condition in all the world is that
of a man who (nee was a member of
the church and sat at holy commun-
ion,'
ommunion,' who has gode back. But. Jesus
WL11 be just as glad to, have you come
now ae he was the fi'r'st time you
started for him. He waits to bo
gracious. Trust him, He will say.
nothing about what you have said
against hint. He will say nothing
about the days of your wandering.
lfe w111 say nothing about the fact
that you have been sitting in the seat
of the scorners and laughed at
Christianity, and despised that whioh
you once loved. He will not throw
that up to you at all, no mor( than
did the father when the prodigal.
came hank. The father did not say
anything to the prodigal ,about his
poor clothes or his hungered face,
but be went right away to clothe him'
and to robe hon and to feast him,
And Christ will not say anything
about what you have been doing
so long, if you will only come to him
to -day, and do your works 0802
again.
70 have been warned and not to
have heeded; to have been invited by
all the pleading wounds of Christ and
nob to have accepted them; to have
had glorious Sabbaths of mercy like
this, and yet not to have improved
them;; to have come so near heaven,
yet to have missed it! There will be
two things that will be said
on .that day. You will say one
be said on that day. You will say one
and God will say the other, if without
repentance you appear before him.
Twa things, one by you and one by
the Lord. You, looking back onthe
wasted life will say; "How have I hat-
ed instruction and my heart despis-
ed reproof. The harvest is past, the
summer is ended and I am not sav-
ed." The other thing will be said by
the Lord; "Because I called and ye re-
fused, and stretched out my hand and
110 nlen regarded, therefore I will
laugh at your calamityand mock
when your fear cometh."
TWELVE BUSINESS MAXIMS.
The president of the London Cham-
ber of Commerce gives twelve maxims
which he has tested through years of
business experience, and wilieh be re-
commends as tending' to insure euc-
eess
1. Have a definite aim
Go straight for it.
8. Master all details,.
4. Always know more than you are
expected to know.
5, Remember that difficulties are
only made to overcome,
6 Treat failures as stepping -atones
to further effort.
7. Never put your handout farth-
er than you can draw it back.
8 At times be bold; always pru-
dent
7. The minority often beats the
majority in the end
10 Make gond use of other men's
bra. ins
11. Listen well answer cautiously,
decide promptly.
1e. Preserve, by all means an your
power, asound mind in ascend body.
THE RATS THEY EAT.
The current impression abet China-
men eat rats -1 mean ordinary Ameri-
can rata -is all nonsense, said Dr.
James. J. Mason, a well known Chinese
missionary, chatting about bis experi-
ence in the Flowery Eingdon.
The truth in regard to it is this:
There is a small animal in China
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL.
INT1IINA7'IQ11AI. LESSON, MA1t, 10,
"40eus: and ('atnpbns." Melt, 'le, 91•(18,
(:olden 'rest, mall, 1e. 18.
DrideCTICAII NOTES.
Verse 57, And they that had laid
hold on Jesus led hien away to Cala-
(01(1(19 the high priest. 'l'lais. was af-
tel;' the examination by Armee. Cala-
PIM 5 had already oommIt:Led hl 11881(1
to the pally of killing Jhsue, ']'bora
10 no indication in the Scripture that
any of 11113 'priests were frien<lly to
Josue, Some 'lefandore in the Siad-
heiren nee implied, lett we may eon-
jeut'ure 1110111 to have been. Joseph
and Nioodem)as. The eorihee and the
elders. The Sanhedrin, Almost'
every, class represented 1n the (tan;
he1.11(1 Ind been oritisised by Jenne?
for bypOorisy, greed, Ignoa:anee, or
ekeptiolsm, el'ere assembled. 30*-
1sh law prohibited the Sanhedrin
from holding formal sessions at night,
Apparently this informal' gathering
continued until daybreak, when it
formed itself into the regularcourt
and . passed judgment on Jesus. 'Phe
unseemly and illegalhaste wag due
to fear of an attempt at rescue by
our Lord's friends:
58. Peter followed him afar off un-
to the :high priest's palace. A,nothee
dieoiplo went with. Peter, who 15 Of-
ten assumed to have been Jahn. but
whom many scholars aro inclined to
think was Judas. By the influence
of this other disciple Peter found ad-
mission. See John 18. 16. Ile went
sn to the court of the palace, and sat
teeth the servants, that 1g, the "offi-
cers," who had just arrested Jesus.
"'Plisse ln. the chill of the early .dawn
had lighted a char:met' fire. Slave
women who acted as gate keepers
were passing to and fro. The cold
night air had told on Peter, and pee
too, weary avid chilled, drew near the
fixe to warm himself." To see the
end. The hast ,proof of affection.
Eaah ord indicates a Brushed 'but
lov!mg heart -
w
59. Sought false 'witness;. That
they had been thus seeking for a'oaae
time is made plain by the tease of the
Greek verb; but they had not naw
time to ,harmanize the false testi-
mony. Apparently, Judas's treason.
unexpected by the priests, lead hur-
ried their plans.
60. Though many false witnesses
came, yet eoum,d they none. The mul-
titude of false witnesses does not in-
timate any widespread dislike of
Jesus. Proceedings in modern courts
and Christian countries have shown
that it is not difficult even now to
procure false testimony.
61. I am able to destroy the tem-
ple of God. Johne 2. 19: "Destroy this
temple and in three days 1171.11 raise
it up." Thesewitnesses were near-
er the truth than those who had gone
before but they had corrupt motives,
and Mark tells us that their testimony
dld,not agree.
63.. Answerest thou nothing? what.
is It which them witness against
thee? Or, "Answerest thou nothing
to what these witness against Thee?"
One after another had come forward
with prejudicial etat:ements against
Jesus, and he still "held his peace."
Of this silence Iso. 53. 7 is a pro-
pbecy ; 1 Pet. 2. 153 is a most instruc-
tive and touching 0onuuentary.
618. I adjure thee by the living God,
Chat thou tell us whether thou be the
Christ, the Son of God. The law em-
powered the chief priest in certain
cases to administer an oath, Our Lord
could not refuse to answer this clial-
lenge, and it was ee worded that he
must have either denied himself or
have uttered what seemed to be blas-
phemy to the Sanhedrin.
61. Thou hast said. This expression
was a Jewish idiom of the strangest
assent. '.Assuredly I am." Power here
stands for the Eterual One,
65. The high priest rent his clothes.
"A. formal add expressing it sudden
and overpowering sense of horror at
what he called blaspbenty; but hypo-
rrstical, and used to disguise his mal-
ice. The, judges iro a Jewish trial for
blasphemy were bcuud to rend their
clothes in (.wain when the blaspbem-
much on the fields, but it is rain on cub' words were uttered, and the
the tender heart of childhood and the known oolloqullly as tbe tsul-chow, clothes so torn were never afterward
weary spirit or the old man that we that to often bred especially for food, to he mended," He hath spokenbla -
It infests thicefields, and is about
the heart, hard e r p},emq, And indeed one Loral's w•ucde
with the drought" of sin or wilted I the size of an ordinary rat, but has a
under the sun -stroke of worldlines8, tenger body and a head shaped Bonze -
it is epiritnal rain that we need. How, thing like that of a ferret. It 10 a
rolif1., arclatnra and is sold an
to get ft? The way Elijah got. it. A.11 i very p If he got any snore Ntiinesses they
our preaching about it and talking nnereee s numbers in all the markets i of Ih•' g alt cities -neatly cleaned and 1 might contradict those already heard;
about it will not bring it. but now the entire council bad heard
sk w. red "pari ands rungs in bunehee •
WE MUST (?RAY AND PRAY, i oC twrnl y or thirty on bamboo reeds, nn r°lible 1 1118 blaspbamy, and if all witnesses
We must go on the Carmel of. Chris- i Thu thud -chow iS strictly e were false the aoeueed had proved his
tLan expectation and bow ourselves be- ti , 1 , i own guilt.
i theLord, d then't 'p 1nniml d' g
g. I flesh. I have eaten 'bent, and III had i a `111"811°° aoneoruing their opinion
been able. Lo got the rat idea out 01 my I as a call upon IJh:em, for their verdict.
mad would hive relished the -dish. I Ho hr 5u11dy of dPutb, 800118181,7r(81 this
'hey t -sty. something like young seek.-
now
guir. meeting was (ian088588 was
sot ontrial on the last day. Prayer and alive or dead are certainly now destined to death, but "the :Cows,
rd,n y�
now; prayer perpetually, imu<h 1. at repulsive that. many things', of at least their ittlers, who courted
I See 11110 111arning soma who bane: wet0mm n11'a eomas1151;010!88.1esls;i.he favor of Roane, ostentatiously
been back -sliders from God. They , and (11055, fur exllmpl1, disalainned the power of punishing
once. sat at. the eremmunion table• capital a(1fenses." So now charges
they pit Eileen uo more. Once they Mere epitaph( are written to show, moat be pressed before the Roman
were either blasphemous, or insane, ur
true. What fnrtber need have we 01
witnesses( Stere is a crafty etruke.
1 ,and le""g en ie y on r rC it
ore n:r a.n 1 w1 pomp, I 06, What think ye7 Not. so mu.eh
It always has acme when the ri ht1 nal": ally has very delli'ate and 0avory
kind of prayer went up. It w111
coma as oarialn as there is a Lord,
and you have a soul immortal to he
i prayed; they prey n0 more.. Once up-
on their eyes there crime the vision
of a .pardoning ,fesus; but rim they
stared with both their , feat on the
bleeding heart. of tbe SOD et God, 0
the wit or genius 111 the living than • 50801.1101.
to perpetuate the virtues of the dead,!„ 67, 111tffeted hem Struolt him
I(1 poverty; like Saul, has killed its with clenched fists. Others smote
theueat 115, vicars, lik<, David, heve kill-' hire tvleh the palms of their hands,
ed their tons of thousands, Lt was notthe dignified members sol
.alto Sunhat:UM, but the "of le
who have appeared so oaten -in .thi'
story, the eerveint8 of the temple.
who dueling the peeformaeoe of their
brutal duties "lead fun" with their
r'iotirus, "
011. Prophesy unto 1314, thou 0hrlet.
Who is he that smote thee? ,Frons
Mark, 14, 166 and Luke 281, 04 we gat
the full throe of this blasphemous
18Qake17; they bad blindfolded' our
Lord, and had both struck his feoe
and malt. upon it, "They knew-, net
what they did'"
TO FIT', SHOTES.
People Swould find, less diniealty
with ready-made oboes, save an esper1-
enecd Salesman if they meld 816011 up
to fit them on, instead of sitting dove.
Nino persons out of ten, partioularly
ladies, want a comfortable ,chair while
they are fitting a shoe, and it is with
the greatest: difficulty yen oan get
them to stand for a fcweminutes even
after. the shoo is fitted. Tbon, when
they began walking about, tiaey, wonder
Why the shoes aro not ea Comfortable
as they were at first trial. A wo-
man's foot . is considerably smaller
whenshe sits In a chair than when she
walks about. Exercise brings a'tlarge
quantity of blood into the feet. •
-
A BARBARIC FASHION.
French children are ridiculously
dressed as far as the laws of hygienics
are concerned, for, even In cold
weather, when furs and velvets attest
to the taste and money lavished upon
little girls' attire, their legs aro
wretchedly exposed to the weather,
not only by the socks, which leave
their knees entirely bare, but by ex-
tremely abort underclothes.
HIS TREAT1yZENT.
Soiled Spooner -About' ala months
ago I visited an. candle o' mine dat I
hadn't seen in 14 years.
Saidum Fedd-I s'pose he treated you
like a prodigal son, and all dat?
Soiled Spooner -Naw ! Ile mt8took
me -for de fatted calf, and near killed
mo before I could make my git-away.
QUEEN WILHELMIN.A'S CROWN.
The crown that adorns the brow of
Ho,llandb youthful Queen is saLd to
have met 1361000. In 1829 it was stol-
en by burglars and remained in their
possession for nearly two years. Even-
tually pant of the stones were found.
near Brooklyn and the remainder were
ultimately discovered in Belgium.
CANNOT LEARN RUSSIAN'.,
The Czarina has the greatest dif-
ficulty in speaking her husband's lan-
guage, and the wards coma but slow-
ly and laborionsly, deepito the many
lessons given her by the Czar. Priv-
ately the Cana and Ocarina speak fre-
quently in English, but their conver-
sation is generally carried on in
CAUSE OF THE DELAY.
Teacher -What made yen so late?
Tammy -I had to wait for ma to
wrap up a bundle for me to leave at
Mrs. Brawn's.
Teacher -Surely, it didn't take your
mother nearly an hour to do that.
Tammy-"Ycs'm. You sea the paper
she was wrapping iC up in had a lova
story in it.
111156 CAYENNE'S CANDOR,
What did you think of that fare-
well speeCb of mine? said tbe orator,
Well, answered Miss Cayenne, to be
candid, Icouldn't quite make up my
mind whether it ought to be refer-
red to us as\van song, or as merely
ane of the customary cackles.
SHE DIDN'T FAINT.
31•abcl-It's very hot. If I'hauld
faint you woulda't take advantage of
my helplessness and ki•,s me, would
7053
Bob -Certainly not.
And Mmbel sighed -but she didn't
faint,
A GERMAN DILEMMA.
I see that at the German antler ex-
hibition a Teutonic gentleman with-
out a title wee given the first prize
over Emperor William.
Whew! Say, that board of ,judges
-n6110(1 have been in a painful dilem-
ma for a while.
A dilemma?
Yes, they didn't know which, here
to take,
SIIMIPLY HAD T0.
motor -3: suppose when you geto
work you ride?
Patient -Yes, sir, I ride up and
down.
;Doctor -Ah 1 That's the cause of
your trouble. Sedentary habit, Stop
add 7115.
Patient -But ltd neper be at wort
if I didn't ride up and down. l'm an
elevator man.
It is 18 years slime Lord Frederick
0av,endish was murdered In Phoenix
Peek, 7 e3blin, Sinop that day his
widow has never appeared In public
Save In ieln.alr, Her thin, caldnv ria.
fano is known by many women who
are engaged In eharlty wok, withal.
is now her (hie( oamoenu,
THE 0, 0, . D, MAN.
Ile reads Tide World a Very 101ega.
ant Sphere, 1111133e1.4,
[Copyright, 1018, by 0, n. hewte,a
"Tblulks for th0 dime," said the 0, 0,
0. roan as ho,,slipped it tato lite Pocket
and gave 11 new took at the ends of his
hot weat1401' necktie, `.'It's cash on de.
ilvery, end neither of us have got to
carry It on one minds overnight, Beet
system in the world end the only one
Cor a man in this purfesli to practice.
No checks; no notes, no promises, - Spot
cash transaction and everybody stale -
tied.
"As to getting along," lee continued
as he carefully lighted the Stub of a el.
gar he had drawn from his, pocket, "We
dead easy If you are an artist at the
game. If- not, you aro elmply a'e0m-
mon tramp instead of a 0. g. (dilapi-
dated gentleman), For instance, I go
Into a. newspaper office In Buffalo,
Cleveland, Toledo or Detroit. I look
seedy, but I've got cheek to offset it.
I make for the city editor's desk, and
before he bas time to turn me down I
say;
"'I've dropped In to give you a scoop.
Used to work the blue pencil myself
and know' whata two column beat is
worth.'
"'G'wayl' says he.
"•'It's two columns, with Sour scare
beads on 'ern.'
"'Don't want no fakes.'
" ,Thur' scare heads, and• you may
take my picture for a keystone. The
scoop is worth a hundred to you, but
I'm only asking live bones. Case of
conscience with me, you know, but I
want a $5 note In my pocket wben..I'm
put behind the p: b. (prison bars).
Come down.'
"'What ye got?'
"'Murder and robbery and the pollee
all at sea for a clew. If my conscience
didn't force me togive myself up, I'd
never be suspected.'
"'Say, cully, yon -ain't no bad man;
be says as he leans back and looks at
me. •
"'Don't bank on it,' says 5 as I looks
at my bands to see if the blood stains
is still there. 'I'm going to give myself
up for the murder of the Robinson
family In lowa last. June. Man and his
wife and four children murdered and
the house robbed. If I get n fiver, I
tells my story; 11 i don't, I'm a clam.'
"'And it's a scoop for us?'
"'All by your lonesome. Give you
the facts right here and now, and then
you can send a man along to see me
docked up.'
"Five bones pass between us," said
the C. 0. D. man in a musing way,
TAR 0181 EDITOR...
"and a lunch Is ordered up for me.
R'hile 1 emptles•the growler and clears
away the sandwiches 1 talk. I gives It
to him straight and hot, and w11eu I
gets through you can smell the blood
and see the corpses. A feller comes In
and makes a sketch of me, two report-
ers make copy of my story, and then
I'm run off to a station in the suburbs
where the Other papers w'on't get on to
It. 1 gives myself up for murder and
robbery. 1 talk about conscience. I
want to be hung and bave it over with.
Sergeant at the desk pats himself on
the back and rushes me into a cell and
tiles rushes a telegram off to Iowa.
Paper comes out next morning with a
redbot scoop --our 1)81151 enterprise-.
our detective reporters -bloodthirsty
criminal -the greatest capture of the
age, .etc. Mokpo you chill to read It,
and the picture looks litre Daniel in the
lions' don.
'three days of uotorlety, good fod-
der, lots of visitors. a bouquet or two,
a55nd`thea
itouthet0' sergean1Ulsl't sends for me and
78:
,
G
"'i can't I'm a murderer.'
Melt 11p and git!'
"'For why?'
"'Because yali'1•oe fake:
ut It'stn 813080(1000'-
0117 giti'
"And a pollvenlnn takes lee to the
door and gives me n lift *1111 his boot,
and I'm again et liberty to resume my
wanderings. Paper bas had a good
thing, pollee haven't been hurt. i've rev-
eled In luxury, anti no harm has been
done. See? -Dead easy nhl.arbund, and
the five bones buys my winter outfit
and belps me to maintain my Chic. So
long to you 11111 don't stand still till the
turnip tops glt higher than your head,"
51. Quern.
And So Rao Firm! Mtn..
Sue -Oh, yes, I just had to tell him
not to come any more. He's too much
of a calamity howler for `me. ' 1 Ill;o
people who prefer to look on the bright
side of things.
Bessie -Why, 1 didn't know he.wae
that way.
Sue -yes. Whenever We got to sit-
ting near each other' au4 total -Ione
were favorable he'd begin to task 1C I
1llclu t think papa nr?ght Colne in tat any
moment or 1(1 mamma Wasn't on the
stairway listening, Cb'eaego Tinto.
Herald.
•
:•a
i1