The Brussels Post, 1909-4-1, Page 3Skinny 'Funks
the joke
TOTO have been fooled once watt bad
enough, nor could Shorty ever
forgive himself for having been
outwitted by the hobo, who had prom -
hied 'him a revolver, and who then,
had fleet. But to bave been fooled. by
TOnY, the Italian, who sold peanuts
at the corner Of Math and Rartmouth
streets -en April Pool's Day, too -was
hat n&ppened to boli
worse than inoxrueable. Shorty's
only comfort Say In the thought that
Skinny also !tad been tricked.
You see; Tony had _smiled soInno-
cently. when he murmured,"Will the
leetle boys have de bag?' that the
lads took the bags extended toward
them withoutsuspecting that they
contained nothing but ehelIs,
"T'il turn the trick on him," indig-
nantly muttered Sltinny,_when, after
shouting all the tantalizing names
they itsfew. at Tony, the boys retired
around the corner. And Skinny was
not long in thinking of a plan.
Tony really should have known bet-
ter than to tease the lads. It was a
dangerous pastime -far too dangerous
for him, who already had 'most too
many enemies among the "fellows."
Tony should also have known better
than to take a nap in th utternoon.
Skinny took advantage mighty
quicic of the Italian's habit of enjoy-
ing an after-dinner snooze. As soon
as Tony began to nod - his sleep,
the boy crept,uy -to the peanut roast-
er, attached a stoutcord to it and
tben tied the other end of the cord
to an automobile waiting in Main
street,
After awhile the owner of the au-
tomobile resumed his seat and mo-
tored away. Prom around the cor-
ner Skinny and Shorty gleefully
watched the peanut vender spring to
THE MANII{IN APPIIAI?.S
from the tip of old Berens' wing -if
Bones has a wing -which made it next
to Impossible for human nature, espe-
cially llttle. girl human nature, to resist.'
So there she stayed, listening to the
voicesof the men calling one to the
other, the soft pad, pad of the horses'
_feet, the gentle droning of the per-
sistent bee,and an occasional chirp
from a sleepy. sparrow.
At of a sudden, a funny -looking
little man stooped under the branches
and peeped In at her.
"My, what a' lazy girl," said ho,
"leaving your grandma to do all the
clipping and digging in the rose
garden while you come up here to
loaf! Aren't you ashamed of your-
self? Just come out now. I'm work-
ing at something and I don't mean
to do It alone when there's a lilg,
etrong girl so near to help me. Hop
up and get a move on you!"
Polly stared wide-eyed at the queer
figure. She was annoyed at hls fauna,
far manhor, yet afraid to resent it.
COMMANDS POLLY TO HELP
"Come along," he continued, "or-"
and he made a motion as 1f to come
toward her, but. Polly sprang up
quickly,exclaiming excitedly, "I'm
coming: Can't you give me timet"
"Well, I'm glad .you ars," he re-
plied, "for Pm .tired to death, and
can't push that wheelbarrow of
dishes any further, so you'll have to
do It for. me."
"Wheelbarrow of dishes!" echoed
Polly, aghast; "why I couldn't do
such a thing. It would be too heavy
for me."
^Nonsense!" The llttle man laughed
heartily, "Too heavy for you -a great,
big, fat girt like you? now absurd:"
Polly pouted. Tom was an the time
calling her fat and she didn't like It
an bit. So she wasn't any better pleased
now.
"Where did you get the dishes?"
she asked, rather pertly.
"Get ''em? See here, young lady, you
don't think I etole 'em, do you?
Where would I get 'em but out of
the garden? You didn't suppose I
got 'em In a shoe shop? Plat hal"
T was an exceedingly warm day out
lY on the farm. The wind had died
completely down, and old Sol was
doing ale best to make thinga hot for
everybody. The bees hummed so softly
and drowsily that one knew they must
be half asleep; even the flowers drooped
their heade to keep off the sweltering
sunshine andto take a little nap on the
sly.
Polly dragged herselfwearily across the
orchard, meanwhile keeping her eyes
open for the biggest' tree that made
the thickest shade. Presently finding
it,she dropped down: like a lump of lead,
Instead of Ilke tbe'very spry, lively lit-
tle girl of 10 she really was. She thought
she must be almost as old as grandma,
who had just reachedher fiftletb birth-
day, -and Polly thought that was "awful
old," so old that she often wondered
how It was grandma could get around
at all. Of course, she didn't tell this
to grandma, for somehow the old lady,
as Polly thought her, didn't seem to ho
old at all -In fact, quite the contrary,
especially when she was dressed up fol
church, with those now puffs on her
head, which she had bought the last
time she was in town,, and that legltorn.
hat with a long, white leather sweeping
over its upturned side. But there; this
story is about Polly, not grandma!
As I have said, Polly found the big,
broad tree she was hunting for and
threw herself flat down on _ the soft,
green grass. It was a very nice place.
I shouldn't have minded toeing there my-
sele it I'd had the chance.
From under her ]calf -closed lids Polly
could see the men in the, adjoining field
busy taking In the hay. She could see.
brother Tom, who was only two years
older than she, gathering up forkfuls
a pretty blg size- for him, and tossing
them into the wagon. Tom was warm,
too, and somewhatcross, because grand-
pa should think It wise for boys to be.
kept out of mischief by giving them a
little work to do. 8o Polly smiled quiet-
ly, all to herself, at Tom's fierce frown,
for she knew right well he couldn't sea
her 'way under those low -hanging
branches, and so .couldn't tell grandma
where she was. Grandma. rarely idle
herself, thought it was only right that
his foot In surprise when the first
motion of the automobile sent ti e
roaster clattering to elm ground.
On went the motor: .After It spud
Tommy, ebouting excitedly in Italian;
while the boys wore doubled up with
laughter. I regret to say that they
helped themselves liberally to the
peanuts which were scattered upon
the pavement, although they believed
this. -was, only a fah' revenge,
Tommy's Answer
]�, ME14RY company was assembled
L4. at the dUnher table, and all en-
joyed the feast of good things
provided by the genial hostess.
One of the guests In a jocular manner
asked Itttle Tommy, the son of the
hostess, where the:turkoye game from.
"Dunne," he answered; "but I can tell
you where this one came from" (point-
ing t0 the one on the table), "Ma got
1t from a tramp for a half dollar, 'cause
the man said he stole IL Didn't he,
ma?"
Use for School,.
"Weil, my little man," said a clergy-
men to the son of one of hie parish -
toners, "what do you do to settee! all
day?'"
"1 waft till WS time to go home, sirs"
"I'LL NEVER
SNLAI( AWAY AGAIN," SAID POLLY.
this Ilene elty-gir7, who was paying her
sucha lengthy visit, should help all she
could.
Now, Polly wasn't lazy as a usual
thing, but It was so hot today that In-
stead of going Into the rose garden to
dig a little and pull off the dead leaves,
as ebe was accustomed to doing in the
morning, why site sneaked -yes, sneaked
-(1 know it isn't a pretty word, but it's
just what she did) sneaked oft 'way up
1n the orchard where she knew no ono
would over think of looking for her.
That sneaking troubled Polly's em1-
sclence quite a geed deal -but -the grass
was so lovely and greell, the shade so
pleaaatlt, and besides, there was a little
bit of breeze, :just a stray zephyr
"Got the dishes out of the garden?"
repeated Polly, much puzzled. "They
must be queer kind of dishes."
"Well, just come along with one
and push 'em for me, and you'll see
the :rind of dishes they are, fast
enough."
Polly moved forward slowly. She
didh't want t0 posh the wheelbarrow -
In feet, knew she couldn't -and was
meet ready to cry at the thought;
but she was afraid the little man
Would catch hold of her if she - didn't
go Withhim, so she just RAD to do
"It's tireatifui hot in the stn," sho
grumbled, complainingly, as she left
the shade of the tree.
'Yes,' that's sol' but other people have
to work In the sun -grandma, for In-
stance, and Tem,"
At the mention of 'Tom, V011y turned
quickly, Intending to call him to her
aid, bet the hay had all been gathered
1n and the field wee quite empty, In-
deed, there was no One 1n eight any-
where.
"No use looking for Tom," paid the
little man curtly; "he's gone home long
age, 00 cameon and push them dishes."
"'Phew dishes!" said Polly, contempt-
uOusly.
"011, I presume you'd soy 'them there
dlahes,' wouldn't you, now?" here-
turned, lronleelly, "Well, I'm not so
high-toned, "Phem dishes' Is good
enough for me."
A PENNY KIND OF =maims
Pollysniffed, but by Wits time she
had reached'the wheelbarrow. After
looking Intently at 11 for amoment, she
exclaimed In a surprised Voice: "Dish-
es: Are those what you call dishes?
Ila: hal hal"
"My, but you think you're funny,"
remarlred the llttle man, gazing at her
disapprovingly,
"I'm not funny. You are," grinned
Polly. "Why; de you call those things
'dishes'?"'
"Oh," he inquired in a very affected
tone;-. "and pray may T ask what YOU
would can them?"
"Why, radishes, of course, you simple
thing," sae said, derisively.
"Simple thing, am I, Miss Smarty?"
he cried angrily. "That's enough now.
You grab' hold of those haudles, and
cankerous; put that en and it will keep
of( the sun,"
"I won't do IN" she rebelliously cried,
Pitching It enthe ground.
"Here, miss,' that's my Sunday go -to -
meeting costume, I'll have You know."
Ile picked it up and carefully shook it,
Then piecing 1t again over Iter, he said,
with a nod: "What'll keep out the cold
will do the same for the heat."
Poi1Y shook herself angrily, but the
coat hung on, seethingto grow heavier
and bigger with every Move she made;
unto 1t came almost to Iter feet,
"'You're hateful," she said, looking at
the llttlechap from the a0rnel' of her
eye. She didn't dare make the least mo-
tion for fear the old coat would crawl
over her head.
Ile just winked and chuckled,"You
WILL sneak off, will you, you moan,
little thing:"
"I'm not) I'm not!" sobbed Polly bit-
terly,
Suddenly, without warning, the fellow
began singing 1n a high, cracked voice:
Oh, pretty Polly, don'tyour ori.
Or that'll glue you a -bunged-up eye;
%bon you'll set' a cold 1n your heed,
w1300yl make your fiery
ymusty, bumpily a_-
"I
was always a great singer and
poet," be remarked conceitedly.
"I guess no one over thought so but
yourself," snapped Polly,
"Oh, noW you're getting twenty," re-
proached he, "and I, don't like nawsty.
folks. But come; we must be jumping,
for it's getting late. and, besides, we
are to take on a lot of pumps after
walla"
"Pumps?" repeated Polly, mystified.
MOT as a raindrop' it began
4 \ The trip from mountain
top to sea,
But an icy crystal, glistening
And white as snow min ever be.
No heavy trunk was there to pack,
Of ev'1'Y burden it was flee,
When the crystal murmured to it-
self,
"'Tis spring, when merrily 1
flee,"
For April's sun gave it release—
A raindrop now it swiftly sped
A -down the steep, the barren
slopes,
With streams that coursed o'er N,
rocky bed.
Descending farther to the plain,
With multitudes of drops so
glad,
Which as a river smoothly flowed
Through smiling meadows
greenly clad.
Still onward did the raindrop go,
A -singing low and charmingly,
Until it reached the journey's end
And danced on wave -crests of
the sea.
(Now, if you find the title wrong.
Say simply "drop," and drop the
"rain";
But don't forget it won't be long
'Til it will fall as rain again 1)
POLLY TRUNDLES TEE BARROW OF "DI81888."
don't be so saucy. You may call them
'radishes; but life's too short to put so
many syllabubs to one word. So I'll call
them 'dishes' if I want."
"Syllabubs!" giggled Polly; "why
that's what we have for dessert. You
moan syllables."
"There, there, you're much too clever
for such a young thing. Test push
now, and don't talk so much, for a
change,"
Polly Caught hold of the wheelbarrow
and did her best to move it, "I can't
do it:" she exclaimed, half crying.
"Ugh? what a cry-baby;" said tile lit-
tle fellow, scornfully. "Come on now,
I'!2 help." So, together they pushed and
tugged, and tugged and pushed, making
but little headway with all their effort.
The perspiration ran down Pony's lace.
"That's great," said the man, smirk-
ing provokingly at her. "You'll loso lots
of fat by thio; It's fine exercise for
you."
Polly didn't resent his remarks. In-
deed, by now she little eared what he
said, only asking forlornly, "Do we go
much further?"
THEY REPROACH EACH OTHER
"0h, no; just a couple of miles," was
the cheerful response.
Poor Polly burst right out crying.
"You're a wicked, cruel man," she said,
sobbing as if her heart would break,
"1.0 .treat me this way. My grandma
would never do it."
•"NO, I guess not," replied the little
Man, seriously, and wagging his head;
"but all the some, you were very mean
to grandma, leaving her to get a sun-
etrlke, or any old thing, out there weed-
ing the.. garden, for 5.11 you cared,!'
Polly couldn't help smiling, In spite of
her distress. "You certainly nail things
by queer names," she said, drying her
eyes.
"Oh, I don't know," he returned,
airily, "I ain't so badly edulated."
Before Polly could speak the celled
out: "Get on, get On; one, two, three,
up she goes!"
Very slowly they crept on, the sun
growing hotter and hotter, and Polly
more and more tired and fretful, Pretty
soon the little man pulled off Ins coat,
and throwing it over Pol1y's shoulders,
panted: "Whew! but the weather's tan -
"Oh, I suppose you'd call 'em pump-
kips, though that's more nonsense."
Polly grew desperate. "Now, see
here," she said, recklessly; "T won't
push this thing one step further, not-
, If -you -lull -mei" She ended with a lit-
tle squeak, which she had meant to
be a tremendous scream. She tried
her bolt to run, but not a foot could
she move -simply standing there help-
Iessly.
The man came threateningly toward
her. "You won't, won't you? Well,
we'll see about that, You shan't treat
me as you did grandma."
This time Polly opened her mouth
wide and yelled with all her might:
"Gramma! Gramma:"
At that moment a familiar voice fell
on Polly's ear. "Nero she is, Tom!
My, Polly chifd, what a fright you
gave nal"
Polly opened her eyes with a start,
to find herself still stretched out un-
der the shady tree, but the little man
lad vanished, and there was grandma,
kneeling close beside her.
"00-00-0-h1" she walled, "what an
awful dream I had -What a dread-
ful dr -a -a -ml"
Tom, brother -Me, grinned. "That's
what you got for sneaking," he said,
unsympathetically.
"Sneak," thought Folly; "there's that
disgusting word again" And throw-
ing 11811se11 straight into grandma's
arms, she sobbed penitently, "011,
gramma, gramma, forgive hie; I'll
never, never sneak again!"
"There, there," comforted grandma,
smiling, and kissing the tearful eyes,
"there, sweetheart, don't cry. I don't
believe you ever win"
And Polly never did.
IIAT13.1IRINE CROSBY MUR.PNIY.
Made a Fuss
LARA, aged 0, did not know the
meanieg of all encore, and was
very much disgusted with the
children's concert In which she took
Part.
"I just know we didn't. make a single
mistake," site exclaimed, "yet the peo-
h
fussinthatn go th ads to do nits allu over
again,"
+r
of i c!
Queen Victoria and Stores
CERTAIN lady, engaged upon
some work for her majesty, was
allowed to bring her daughter, a
child, with her. The queen, felting a
fancy to the little girl, entered pres-
ently Into the following conversation:
Child: "Where do you live when you
are in town?"
The queen: "I live at Buckingham
Palace, my dear. Where do you live?"
Child: "Ohl we live in the Fulham
road," (Short pause.) "Where do you
get your things from? We always get
ours from Harrods' stores."
�, f1r1,E
Too Busy to Grow
T!Xtal diminutive office boy tadworked hard on a salary of $3 a,
week. lie was a subdued little
chap, faithful and quiet, Finally, hew,
ever, he ask for an increase.
How much more would you like?"
inquired his employer.
WeII," aaswered the lad, "I don't
think that $1 more a week would be too
much."
"You are a rather small boy to be
earning $4 a week."
I suppose I am," he replied. "I know
I'm small for my age, but, to tell the
truth, since I've worked here I've been
so busy I haven't had time to grow."
He got the "rise."
S0 PROUD was Nan Of the candle -
snuffer, which, you remember,
her big brother Dan made for
her not long ago, that she showed it
to all her friends,
"1 can do even better than that,"
laughed Dan, one day, as he heard
Nan singing his praises to her chum.
Fleet he took the hall of an English
walnut. Ia the narrower end of the
shell, near the edge, he bored two
0PPesite holes, running through a
small elastic (A) confined outside the
shell by two matchsticks thrust in
the loops. Then he bent a hairpin
into the form B. The bent head of
the hairpin was put between the elas-
tic; and the matches on the outside of
the shell were twisted so that the
tightly coiled elastic would cause the
shell to spring back over the hairpin
if let free.
The candle lie now forced between the
shanks of the hairpin, and the shell
was Rept extended in the position you
see it in Fig. C by the ends of the
matohsttcks protruding over the top of
the Candle. But when the candle was
lit, and burned some dletanee down, We
ends of the stick lost their hold on the
candle, and the nutshell dew forward
over the wick,
"Now 1'11 snake you a funny little oil
lamp, the ell of which 1'11 drink," said
Dan. Into an almond he thrust at right
angles a splinter of another almond.
Pouring some white wine In a glass, he
floated the eimand in the wine and lit
the and of the 02,0116.e'. This queer
light burned steadily, fed by the wine,
until Dan drank the "o11."
You eon have a dandy horse -chest•
nut lamp," remarked Dan, 'by soaking
a horst:-chestnut in coal oil for about
twenty-four hours old giving It a wick.
Light your wialt and fleet your lamp in
a glassful of water. It will burn
,M1r
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seemaramesaaaaaaaa.e.meseeemeemeaaeommemee
through the whole night,"
Nan and her chum had butane so in-
terested that they begged. Dan for a few
more candle tricks, Thereupon 110
showed thele how to decorate candles.
Around a candle he wrapped a blade
drawing, placing rho drawing :inside,
Afterward he gently heated the paper
with several matches, pausing when the
paper began to look greasy. Unwrap-
ping the poper, the drawing w'oe rotmd
printed clearly upon the surface of the
candle.
Contlntdng his demonstration he out
Mit two little women from pasir,henrd,
These he gave. tem metal of quill teeth-
pietcs, the ends of which he I.xed 10
some mysterious mmmer. Bringing
atd te0111011 toward the flume of a One-
dle, the end of thetrumpet. was held
exactly over the name, whereupon the
light itnma,iintely went nut. Bet when
the other Indy trumpeter extt mk.d her
quill, temente; the smeutderin8 wick,
the candle Wee again 11t. The girls were
lost in wonderment, 11nt;1 Dan explained
that In tIm end of one (11,111 10' hell put
a graln ni i 0wder etre expiration Of
which had extinguished the light And
the wiclt ems reheated by a fragment
of phosphorus h tared in the and of the
other 0,111111 Igniting when it came lei
cent arc with the rmul
ederlug w•1clr.
111tf old Wok of havingyourhtmds.
tied bol,li 1 vac and then picking a
floating candle out of 111' water with
Your Meth 10 the s11np1est thingin the
wen' d adder: Dan, as ho tote. to go.
V1 You have to do is in p'et Ibo &mime
t ,,or v, nr then rind then draw
rem 1t l'rr'atb sharply." ,