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The Wingham Times, 1913-04-03, Page 3a. . w, a. - . -•r TILE WINGIIAM TIMES, APRIL 3, 1913 CONTAINS NOANIMAL OlLoaFAT , it01`All'f MI Vegiee,,i lelVel•,l y "t Tail'e my altvieo i ©mos] Zam•illiik F"t ?^.ti Otna anti Oda 211 s3 ut'gh .1tor yen owe it fit) vet=.: :lmily to give it a tt;a• .at 1 ends pain and it r;Oc box all Druggiattt4 Stores. To a Young Lady on HerBirthday. 'The marching years go by , And brush sour garment; sihem, 'The bandits by and by •Will bid you go with them. Trust not that caravan! iO1d vagabonds are they 'They'll rob you if they can, And make believe it's play. Make the old robbers give Ofall the spoils they bear-. Their truth, to help you live - Their joy, to keep you fair. Ask not for gauds nor gold, Nor fame that falsely rings; The foolish world grows old Caring for all these things. Make all your sweet.oemands Fm• happiness alone, And the years will fill your hands With treasures rarely known. -Bliss Carman. PIL Do not suffer another day_dh Itching, Bleed- ing, or Protrudh ing riles. No surgical oper- a ti on per.ation required. Pr. Chase's Ointment will relieve you at once and as certainly cure you. 60c. a .box • all dealers, or Edmanson, Bates & Co., Limited, Toronto. Sample box free if you mention this paper and enclose 2o. stamp to pay postage. ..-_.,rr.._or. Every Farm Home Should Have Water Works System. There is, says Farm Stock and Home no labour saver that will give more sat- isfaction to the country housewife than a home water works system. There are thousands of farm homes where such systems have been installed, and there are thousands more where they no c:cubt would be adopted were it not that the idea has never taken practical form in the farmer's mind. If it ever did suggest itself it was as a sort of "pipe dream," and with theput- ting away of the pipe was dismissed as impracticable or altogether too expen- sive a proposition to be considered seri- ously. A home water works equipment is practical for any ordinary farm home and the average farm owner on looking into the subject a little would no doubt be surprised to find at what compara- tively light cost such comfort and sav- ing of labour can be accomplished. The roof of a house can be depended upon for the supply of water, a good cement cistern will serve as a reservoir and a small gasoline engine ondmilit wi will provide the force that will give a water supply for the house under pres- s ure at all times. Not only that but the water can by means of a water front o n the kitchen stove, be supplied hot or cold at any hour of the day. By this m eans the work in a kitchen can be cut almost in half. NEW ARITHMETIC. Up to Date Stepping Stones to a Higher Education. BOUND TO IMPROVE THE MIND • Take ahe Problem of the Duel Home to Dinner With You and Let the Ohil- dren:Puzzle Over It -They Won't.Eat Sp Much. By M. QUAD. [Copyright, 1912, by Associated Literary Press.) WO men who regarded their sacred honor as at stake go out rte•flg ht .a duel. One shoots a •calf in a field and the other pops a farmer sitting on a fence, and they shake hands and declare their sacred honors freed from all stains. Flow muoh•sacred honor does It take to fill a flour -sack, and how long would It take a grasshopper to eat the whole business up? A tramp hires out to a farmer for $14 per month. lie gets a boss dinner, works an hour and skips. Counting - While salt may be a preservative in some cases, it has exactly the opposite effect on rubber and should never be allowed to remain in hot water bags used for medicinal purposes. It will very soon rot the rubber. WANTED AB GETS A 11065 DINNER. the dinner Worth 30 cents, how much did he melte? Counting the three bites he got from the farn+er•'s dog at 25 cents each, how much slid be lase? Jones sells his farm 'for $3,000 and invests the money in mining stock. paying a dividend of 10 per cent. How long will it take the company to absorb his capital and leave hilt, as eat as a pancake? A citizen who thinks it w on!d be nice to have fresh eggs every day buys thir- teen fowls at 00 cents each, itnnber to the amount of $12, hires a man for $5 to build a park and in three mouths pays out $4.20 for feed. in the twelve weeks he gets four dozen eggs and loses five hens by death and niysteri- ons disappearance. How much have his eggs cost hien per dozen? A father pays $200 to educate his daughter in music, $50 to enable her to say "good day" in French, 5100 to give her lessons in painting, $25 to learn to dance. She then marries a man who is working on a salary of $14 per week, IIow tench will she save by doing her own kitchen work for live years, estimating a girl's salary at $2,50 per week? A boy buys a harvest apple for a vent. He gives a boy a mate for a kite worth 4 cents, another boy a small bite for a marble worth a penny, a third boy a big bite for a jackknife worth 0 cents and then hits enough left to get nn a ease of colic worth 57. flow touch does he make by the spec- ulation? •A servant girl works in a certain family for three weeks at $3 per week. She breaks four goblets at 28 cents each, three teacups rained at 20 cents apiece, throws ,$1.20 worth of bread and biscuit into the alley and gets away with, .half ii set• of knives and forks costing $3. Clow much is the family out of pocket? A live representative for ' ' WINGHAM and sun oundi'ilg District tosell high-class stock for ., THE FONTHiLL NURSERIES More fruit trees will be planted in the Fall of 1911 and Spring of 1912 than ever before in the history of Ontario, • The orchard of the future will be the best paying part of the farm. 'We teach our men Salesmanship 'Free Culture and how big profits in fruit.growitieeaII be made,. 'Pay weekly, permanent employ. merit, Occlusive territory, Write for particulars. STONE &" WELLINGTON year. At this rate how long, with it take him to reach tee last book? Only one newspaper man out of ev- ery sixty -Ove ever has a sharp knife, but only one lawyer one of every 120 carries a lend pencil. How much bet- ter is it to be a newspaper man than a lawyer? A. druggist mixes three ounces of wa- ter and 3 cents' worth of powder to- gether and charges 56 cents for the prescription. Estimating the water at 80 cents and his time at 20, how much does he lose? It's curious, but drug- gists lose money just that way. , At $6 per ton how many tons of coal can be bought for $24? (The green- horn will answer "four tons.") A stagecoach robber was enabled to lay up $4,580 in `en months, but a Niagara Falls hackman salted down. $8,265 in nine. HOW much better is it -to rob at Niagara Falls than out west? A. tramp gets a cold biscuit et one lanae, a piece of meat at another, an old vest at the third, and the owner of the fourth house rdns him three blocks with a dog. How much more does the tramp respect the fourth per- son than the other three combined? It takes twenty'blows of a hammer in the bands Of a woman to drive tit ten -penny nail tlstee inches. She misses the nail twice where she hits it once. How many blows does she strike in all, and how far • can her voice be heard when she strikes her thumb? In the vaults of a state treasury is $500,000, and the treasurer starts for Mexico. How much does be leave be+ bind him? In one Month the owner of a three minute horse tied ninety-four times ree garding his speed. At this rate hove many times would he lie in a year,,and how would it help the speed of the horse any? A schoolteacher gives ap nPil four- teen paragraphs in the science of goys ernment, thirteen examples in arith- metic, three pages of history, one page of grammar, one of orthography and half an hour of writing as a daily les- son and expects him to pass 75 pee .cent. At this rate how long will it take her to rush him into a lunatic asylum? if a lawyer charges a plumber $5 for advice and the plumber charges the lawyer $5.50 for stopping a leak in a water pipe, how much is the lawyer ahead? A saloonist buys a barrel of whisky in bulk and draws two barrels from it by the drink. There is nothing to fig- ure on this. The figuring was all done by the saloonist. A poor man who has forty feet of sidewalk cleans it twenty-four times between Dec. 1 and Feb. 28, while a rich man with 400 feet does not clean his once.. Where does the poor man get ahead of him. and why is it that a rich man never falls on the ice and drives his coat buttons up to his shoulder blades? A gentlemen trim ,has a library of 12,000 volumes opens ten volumes, }AOR' : iii' •.J1►i ''- In a schoolroom are twelve benches and nine boys on a bench, Find who stole the teacher's gad. . A laundress takes in twelve shirts and has four stolen from her line. How many are left, and what are the losers going to do about it? A farmer sold eleven bushels of po- tatoes, and the product purchased two gallons of whisky at 90 cents per gal- lon. How much per bushel did he get for his tubers, and where did he keep the Jug? What velocity must a locomotive have to pick up a deaf man walking on the track and fling him so high that six cars pass before he comes down? A boy earned 20 cents per day for eighteen days and bought his mother a muskrat muff costing $2.10. How much did he have left to go to the cir- cus with? Mrs. Greeley's Mistake. Congressman Amos Cummings told the following story about an experi- ence he once had with Horace Greeley: "One day I was out to see Greeley, at Chappagia, about some newspaper business. The old gentleman saw me coming as he stood 'looking out of the window and opened the door himself. "'Come in here, Amos,' he said as be led me into the parlor. "I followed him into the room, and, as I was going to remain only a min- ute, I laid my hat, gloves and cane upon a center table. Greeley and I had just immersed ourselves in a talk when Mrs. Greeley swept into the room. The moment she entered her eyes fell in- dignantly upon my hat, gloves and cane on the table. Without a wOrd she swooped upon the outfit like a fish - hawk and threw them out the win- dow, Then she left the room without pausing for speech, as one who had taught somebody that the hall was the place for such things. I was inclined to get a trifle warm, but Greeley stretched out his hand in a deprecatory way and cheered me with the remark, 'Never mind, Amos; she thought they were mine."'-Lippincott's Magazine, tee 0.000•000000000000000000 "Eyes on the Floor," You would never know that • your god had feet of clay if you hadn't put hiin on a pedestal. - Puck. • 00000 4> 0000000000000000 What He Could Do. Mildred, who had a small friend to spend the afternoon with her, found that the care of her little brother inter- fered sadly with their plans. John showed a tiresome persistence in join- ing oining their games. Meeting but little encouragement, he asked at Iast, some- what wistfully: "Milly, can't I play something?" "Yes, John," she replied firmly. "Go Into the back room and play you're dead for an hour and a half." -Balti- more American. Refined. ••.[lave we exercised a refining influ- ence in American politics?" "Beyond' a doubt. Our association Gas passed a resolution that hereafter the pork ,barrel shell be known as the 'sparerib jardiniere' and the pie count- er as the 'tart buffet.' "-Washington Stat. Not a Fool, Mr, Gngs-'I went you to under- stand, Mrs. quagga, that I em no fool. 11frs, Gnaggs-For once I agree with you. A. tool and his money etre soon Darted, mkt �I ,tit fel aevet 'bowl `Wile to 6�.�M1 ,114 +atti 'e ybo., A.. .. , . ...:174 il,: . ,..... ...7,...,:,.,,i,;,,..i.;„,„,,f, ri r r l!'l 11j9 Rui..,,,,::i-,,,.:,,, �ii,::lilt,'b/ ...:, Well Known Oefetie Merchant Hag Fttitlt "Fruit-a-tives" Cured ... •'-1 . Mn. JAMES 40SJvh BRONTI3, ONT., MARCH Ist. 1912. "Fruit -a -tires has made a complete cure iii my case of Rheumatism, that had at least five years standing before I commenced the treatment. The troubla was principally in my right hip and shoulder, the pain from it was almost unendurable. Not being able to sleep on that side, if I chanced to turn on my right side while asleep, the pain would immediately awaken me. This kept up until I started taking "Fruit-a-tives". I started by taking one or two tablets with a large glass of water, in the morning before breakfast and experienced pronounced relief very shortly. After a continued treatment for about six months, I was cured and am now in firstclass health. This, I attribute to my persistent use of "Fruit- n-tives" and 1 heartily recommend your remedy to any I.heumatic sufferers." JAMES DOBSON. . some. a box, 6 for f2.5o-trial size, 250. At dealers or sent postpaid on receipt c: price by Prnit-a-tires Lint heti, Ottawa. HOUSEHOLD HINTS. To insure the measurements in cook- ing being it is well to use the same cup for measuring all ingredients in prepar- ing any special dish, as a cake or pud- ding. In using the skin of oranges or lemons for flavoring it is to be remembered that only the yellow part should be grated or shaved off with a knife, The white part imparts a bitter flavor, Bean soup makes a excellent lunche- on dish for the children when they come in hungry in cold weather, A delicious filling for tomato salad is to fill the tomato shells with minced pineapple, celery and chopped nuts. Mix with mayonnaise and garnish with green. To remove grease spots on carpets ior matting sprinkle with French chalk, and sprinkle with benzine. Allow the benzine to evaporate, then brush off i the chalk. If the stain has not disap- ! peered repeat the process. Clinton By-law Safe. Judge Holt finally disposed of the Clin- ton local option by-law ease on Satur- day last, by reporting that the by-law' had received time required sixty per cent. i and should now be given the third read- ( ing by the Town Council. The Judge held that some evil -disposed persons had tampered with the ballots in St. John's Ward by erasing the cross in lfavour of local option and placing cross- ' es against local option. The final vote as reported by the Judge was 327 for the by-law and 216 against, which leaves a margin of three votes over the three- fifths necessary tocurry the by-law. The costs of -the case are assessed against Hotelkeeper Reuben Graham, in whose name the case was entered. CARTEI S 1TTLE IVER PILLS. ORE Sick Reattacho and relieve all the troubles Incl. dent to a bilious state of the system, such as Dizziness, Nausea, - Drowsiness, Distress after eating, Pain in the Side &c. While their most remarkable success has been shown in curing SICK headache, yet Carter's Little Liver Pills ate equally valuable I n Constipation, curingand pre. venting this annoying Complaint, while they also correct:4ldisorders orthe stomach stininlatetbe liver and regulate the bowels. Even if thoyonly cured HEA Achetbdywould bealmostptieeksstottiosetvlio buffer from this distressingcomplaint; bulimia.nately their goodnessdoes notend here,and thoso who once try them will find these II hie pills %ala• able in so many ways that they will not be we. ling to doulthobtthem. Butaftcrall sick head ACHE to the bane of so many Eyes that hero IS where we make our great boast. Out pills euroit while others do not. Carter's Little Liver Pills are ver$• small and wry easy to take. Cinder two pill smake adose. 'They e are'strictly vegetable and do hot gripe or Pare. but by their -gentle action please who nee mem. 1iIIDIAl111100.,111RW KOlti- 4.11t. 14.100141 • • l,lTe RARY IMPOSTORS, Some of the Clever Writers Who Have Deceived the World. Clever literary impostors who have deceived the world are numerous, Gatnelli Carrieri, a Neapolitan gentle- man and scholar, while confined to his room for a long period of years by illness, amused himself by writing an account of an imaginary voyage round the world. When the volume was published, it was taken as a fact even by learned people. The detailed account of a trip to China, which is credited to Du lialde, is another literary hoax. The author bad never seen China and had been sufficiently clever to compile the work solely from the memoirs of Chinese missionaries. It is remarkable, though no less a fact, that "Gulliver's Travels" was tt ,u ht to1e a true narrative when n it first appeared, and the famous story of Dambergers travels was likewise a hoax. Vanillas, the French historian, en- joyed a wide reputatlon as a chronic' ier of events, but later it was dis- fevered that his works were purely fakes. The volumes of this writer re- senible those of Gregorio Retf, who, in order to keep himself from starv- ing, appended the most unheard of incidents to English history as it was kn',wn. One of the most daring impostures on record is that of Joseph Vella of Sicily. He said that he discovered seventeen of the lost books of Livy in Arabic. He then set to work and wrote a translation from his fancy, which was printed. After his death the fraud was discovered. Before his death, however, he fell under suspi- cion and was condemned to imprison- ment. The Truth About England. There is a large missionary school in Tokio where the 'teaching is given in English. One of the pupils not long ago wrote a composition on Eng- land, ncland, from which these are extracts: - "The England which occupied of the largest and greatest dominion which rarely can be. The English- man always works with very power- ful hands and the long legs, and even the emmenced mind and his chin is so strong as deserves iron. Being spread out from Europe to Australia to American his dominion is dread- fully extensive, so that his country- men boastfully says, 'The sun are never set on our dominion.' The testi- mony of England say that 'he that lost the common sense, he never had any benefit, though he has gained a complete world.' The English are cunning mention to establish a great Empire of the Paradise. As the Eng- nehmen nolishnien always confide the object of the pure and the order to be holy, and they reproach him if any of thorn arc killed to death with the eon- tention of other men!" Convenient Arrangement. "What are you buying now?" "I am looking for sonic present to give my wife on her birthday. I tell you, making presents costs a heap of money." "Why don't you do as I do? I have never failed to make my wife a pres- ent on her birthday every year for twenty-five years, and I am not a penny out thus far." "How do you manage it?" "It is very simple. After we were married, when her birthday came round, I gave her a £5 note. When my birthday came round, she gave me the note back, and we have kept that up ever since, and neither of us is out a penny." -Tit -Bits. Chances Only Fair. A judge who is blessed with a tre- mendous head of hair, which is gen- erally in a state of wild disorder, was questioning a youthful witness to make sure that he comprehended the character and importance of the oath he was about to take. "Boy," he said in his severest and most magisterial manner, "do you feel that you could identify me after six months? Now, be careful! Think be- fore you speak." "Well. your honor," replied the boy after a prolonged survey of the great judge, "I ain't dead sure, but I think I could if you wasn't to comb your hair," As Others Saw Him. A day or two ago it fell out that an actor with a purpose was cinema- tographed on the stage and was vast- ly pleased with the result. Said he gleefully to a prominent dramatic critic, "It was the most extraordinary experience I ever went through -actually to see myself act- ing." "Now," said the prominent drama- tic, "you understand what we have to put up with." One on the Teacher. "Willie, you may correct the sen- tence, 'Where was I at?' " ' "I don't see anything wrong with it, ma'am." "You do not?" "No, ma'am. It's correct some- times anyway." "Will you give me an instance in which it is used correctly?" "Yes'm. `Where was I at 3 o'clock yesterday afternoon?' " Molybdenum Found. Discovery of a rich mine of Molyb- denum near Wakefield, in the Gati- neau district, is reported.. The min- eral is used fox hardening steel, and armor plate and also, for electric lights. Some prominent Government offi- cials are interested in it, Those Dear Girl), • Maud -I'm told I get my good looks from my mother. - Ethel --I \ti.,al,ln't repeat that if I .�., .1', ani') Et,'el--1? C'ii, will think your moth- er eui etllir.,y, e'.:v tied. I, i •+qtr , e.' -•t shout eilteeCA." gra ..t i;.,t'l rri +v" YOU PAY WHEN CURED Drs.. K. & K. TAKE ALL RISKS Cured by the New Method Treatment Il i" NO NAMES OR PHOTOS USED WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT NERVOUS DEEIQLtTY Thousands of young and middle-aged men are annually swept to a premature grave through Early indiscretions, Excesses and Blood Diseases. It you have any of the fol- lowing symptoms consult us before it is too late. Are you nervous and weak, deacu- dent and gloomy, specks before the eyes, with dark Circles under thorn, weak back, e unite-, e dreams.sacs sadtm nt Ia u t . kidneys irritable, palpitation of the heart, bashful, and to pimples on the face eyes sunken, hollow cbeeks careworn expression, n, poor memory, lifeless, distrustful, lack energy and strength, tired mornings, res..ess nights, cbaneeab13 moods, weak manhood, premature decay, hone pains, hair loose, sore throst, etc. YOU WI1,L BE A, WRECK Our New Method Treatment can cure you and make a man of you. 'Under its influ- ence the brain becomes active, the blood purified, so that all pimples, blotches sad ulcers disappear, the nerves become strong as steel, so that nervousness, bashfulness and deg. - pendency vanish, the eye becomes bright, the face full and clear, energy returns to the body and the moral, physical and sexual. systems are invigorated; all drains cease -no more vital waste from the system. Don't let quacks and faidrs rob you of your hard earned dollars. We Wilt cure you or no pay. EVERYTHING PRIVATE .LAND CONFIDENTIAL READER: No matter who has treated you, write for an honest opinion Free ofe. '3 Books Free --"The Golden Monitor '° (Illustrated) on Secret Diseases of Mon.. QUESTION LIST FOR HOME TREATMENT SENT ON REQUEST DRS.KENNEIY.iT--:, KEN---;EIY Cor. Michigan Ave, and Griswold St., Detroit, Mich. OT I C E AU letters from Canada must be addressed t St1'.bto our Canadian Correspondence Depart- aumummeissosteem tnent in Windsor, Ont. If you desire to see us personally call at our Medical Institute in Detroit as we see and treat no patients in our Windsor offices which are for Correspondence and Laboratory for Canadian business only. Address all letters as follows: DRS. KENNEDY & KENNEDY, Windsor, Out. Write for our private address. • :"tai r - .. i+:.. y, r'r.. 4i..ir. r 9..111 r:; :rF $.{..'-T:ua.xi. r .S`7N1'f S,,F"..'w'•i:"�x:. . .++,.rF,,Wo ..r 5. +41•4•4•44+4;441+74*.4444++++++4 4•i. -1-4-++++++++44454-444.4-4-4-++++4.4- ÷ d+'i•+fi+•t++4.4• + 1 The Times 4. oi• • li a Times and Weekly Globe . Times and Daily Globe Times and Family Herald and Weekly Star.... Times and Toronto Weekly Sun Times and Toronto Daily Star, , •,•.. Times and Toronto Daily News.. Times. and Daily Mail and Empire. Times and Weekly Mail and Empire Times and Farmers' Advocate '.Gimes and Canadian Farm (weekly) Times and Farm and Dairy Tinges and Winnipeg Weekly Free Press. Times and Daily Advertiser....... .. • , . , .. . Times and London Advertiser (weekly).... „,- Times and London Daily 'Free Press Ncrnir.g Edition Evening Edition Times and Montreal Daily Witness Times and Montreal Weekly Witness Times and World Wide ,.. Times and Western Home Monthly, Winnipeg..... Times and Presbyterian... ........, • .. Times and Westminster . Times, Presbyterian and Westminster Times and Toronto Saturday Night Times and Busy Man's Magazine Times and Home Journal, Toronto.,., Times and Youth's Companion .. , . Times and Northern Messenger Times and Daily World ...... .. Times and Canadian Magazine •(monthly) Times and Canadian Pictorial Times and Lippincott's Magazine Times and Woman's Home Companion . .. • Times and Delineator Times and Cosmopolitan Times and Strand Times and Success .. - .. - . • .. Times and McClure's Magazine. Times and Munsey's Magazine .. ..... , • . • Times and Designer Times and Everybody's •••• • ,,••• •••••-. + + 4. 4• +. 4• 1.60 1.85 4•' 1,75 2 30 2.31, 4.00 1.60 2.35 1,60 1 80 1.60 2.85 1.60 X90 3.50 l,bj 2.25 1,60 2.25 2.25 3.25 3 40 2.50 1.75 -'. JO 1.35 3.10 2.90 1.80 3.15 2.130 2.40 2.30 2.50 2,45 2.60 2.55 1.85 2,40 These prices are for addresses in Canada cr GI't at :+4.4. Britain. The above publications may be obtained 1:.y Tir;lt•s subscribers in any combination, the price for ally pubilt tion being the figure given above less $ F.00 repress lit r g * the price of The Times. For instance : 4. ++ The Times and Weekly Globe kl.t;i� '1' The Farmer's Advocate ($2.35 less $100'.,1.n:5 ti• ,l+• C _, ,.� 5 + making the price of the three papers $2.c+5. + The Times and the Weekly Sun .... =^t .''.ii + The Toronto Daily Star ($2.30 less $1.00... 1. +The Week13 Globe ($1.''60 less 11.00) t;r? the four papers for $3.70. + If the prlb icat on yo,u want is not in above> listt let us know.. We • n supply almost any well krt,•'v n ( ern- •I• 1 dian or American publication. These prices ; strictiv t cash in ad4ance S' nd subscriptions by post office or yet press t,rder to Tie Tim. . Office 1 +. . • • 4. Stone Block 4.wxNaGHAM ON 'ARIO + 4. 4. .. -i• .r•- + + 4. '4. tat .r. ,% • •